Amos & Andy - The Broken Clock

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Amos & Andy - The Broken Clock
Date: March 28, 2026

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Overview

This episode features a classic rebroadcast of "Amos & Andy" entitled "The Broken Clock." The show humorously chronicles Andy’s misadventures when, after being honored with a new electric clock for his 20 years of lodge service, he tries to get it repaired. What starts as a simple errand spirals wildly out of control, landing Andy and the Kingfish in the midst of wartime bureaucracy, mistaken espionage, and FBI interrogations—all revolving around an $8.50 clock that just won't run.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrating Andy’s 20-Year Anniversary

• The episode opens with a lodge ceremony. The Kingfish delivers a comedic yet affectionate tribute to Andy for his two decades of membership, presenting him with a new electric clock.
  • Kingfish (01:16): "Before Mr. Brown applied for membership with our lodge, the census of opinion was that Andy was a bum... Now, let's look at him now...he is...well, he's a fine, healthy looking man."
• Andy, flattered, begins an epic, rambling speech about his life—which apparently lasts hours.
  • Kingfish (03:12): "Sometimes I wonder if this country ain't making a mistake by having freedom of speech."

2. The Broken Clock

• The next day, Andy attempts to plug in his new clock, but it fails to run.
  • Amos (04:05): "That's a $8.50 clock. It ought to work."
• The group discovers a "lifetime guarantee" and decide to seek satisfaction.

3. Seeking a Solution

• They return to the store, but the shopkeeper refers them to the Wilton Clock Company, now a converted war plant.
  • Shopkeeper (05:06): "That's the manufacturer's guarantee...the Wilton Clock Company is right here in New York."

4. A Case of Mistaken Identity at the War Plant

• Andy, Kingfish, and Lightning arrive at the Wilton plant, inadvertently entering a site producing sensitive military equipment. Their presence arouses suspicion from guards and workers.
  • Kingfish (06:31): "The lifetime guarantee don't mean much if they going to shoot you on the way in."
• They are told to put on coveralls to proceed, which confuses and worries them.
  • Kingfish (10:47): "Well, ain't it liable to be a little drafty in there?"

5. Disaster in the Laboratory

• Mistaking important prototype screws for ordinary hardware, Andy pockets them to fix his bathroom mirror—with the Kingfish’s encouragement.
  • Andy (12:28): "Those two little screws there...I think this size here is 10 for a nickel in the dime store."
• They scribble a note to Lightning on the back of a piece of paper not realizing it’s a set of top-secret plans.
• They’re caught red-handed, with the screws and the "plans" (13:35):
  • FBI Agent: "If we'd been a minute later, both the plans and the screws would have been gone. And look what they've got written on the back of these plans. Lightning."

6. FBI Headquarters: The Interrogation

• Andy and Kingfish undergo an intense and farcically thorough FBI screening—fingerprinting, photographing, and questioning.
  • Andy (18:43): "We was just trying to check on a lifetime guarantee. Honest we was. We wouldn't do nothing to hurt the United States government."
  • Kingfish (18:57): "Look, I got American flag right here in my buttonhole."
• Their friends Amos, Lightning, and Henry are brought in for character assessment.
  • Amos (21:25): "They would never do anything against the federal government. I know that."
• A misunderstanding about "robbing the war plant" only deepens the confusion.
  • Amos (22:13): "When he left the cab, he said he was going into rival war plans."
  • FBI Chief (22:30): "Ah, now we've got something to go on."

7. The Lie Detector Scene

• The FBI hooks Andy and Kingfish up to a lie detector to get to the truth. Hilarity ensues as the two desperately try to explain their innocence—and dodge questions about their occupations and honesty.
  • FBI Chief (23:11): "This machine transposes your emotional vibrations into sound...when you lie, you'll hear the hum rise."
  • Andy (23:44): "Honest."
  • Kingfish (23:58): "You haven't, huh, mister, you must have a short circuit in there someplace."
• The polygraph clears them; the FBI realizes it was all an honest mistake.

8. Conclusion: The Real Problem

• Andy, exasperated, declares he has written to President Roosevelt about his ordeal, insisting the government ensure better clocks.
  • Andy (27:32): "The clock don't work, I try to get it fixed and nearly end up in the electric chair."
  • Andy (28:09): "I writ him that he ought to see that the clock companies make good clocks with good wire in them and good cogwheel and good everything else."
• The punchline arrives: Lightning reveals the clock was fine—the power in Andy’s apartment had been turned off due to unpaid bills.
  • Lightning (28:41): "You ain't paid your bill for two months and your electricity been turned off."

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• Kingfish's ironic tribute:
  • "He is...well, he's a fine, healthy looking man." (01:16)
• Andy’s lengthy speech and jokes about freedom of speech:
  • "Sometimes I wonder if this country ain't making a mistake by having freedom of speech." (03:12)
• The clock refuses to work:
  • "That's a $8.50 clock. It ought to work." (04:05)
• Suspicion at the war plant:
  • "The lifetime guarantee don't mean much if they going to shoot you on the way in." (06:31)
• Andy mistakes secret screws for bathroom hardware:
  • "I think this size here is 10 for a nickel in the dime store." (12:28)
• Caught by the FBI:
  • "If we'd been a minute later, both the plans and the screws would have been gone." (13:35)
• At FBI HQ, Andy’s innocence:
  • "We wouldn't do nothing to hurt the United States government." (18:43)
• Kingfish’s patriotism:
  • "Look, I got American flag right here in my buttonhole." (18:57)
• Amos vouches for their loyalty:
  • "They would never do anything against the federal government." (21:25)
• Polygraph scene, comedy peak:
  • "You haven't, huh, mister, you must have a short circuit in there someplace." (23:58)
• The final twist:
  • "You ain't paid your bill for two months and your electricity been turned off." (28:41)

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Important Segments (Timestamps)

• Lodge Ceremony & Gift Presentation: 00:57 – 02:18
• Clock Fails to Work: 03:32 – 04:15
• Trip to the Store/Decision to Visit Factory: 04:23 – 05:22
• Arrival at Wilton Clock Company/War Plant: 06:04 – 07:10
• Inside the Factory & Mistaken Espionage: 12:15 – 14:15
• FBI Headquarters Interrogation: 18:03 – 27:09
• Final Revelation (Unpaid Bill): 28:34 – 28:56

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Tone and Style

Amos & Andy maintains its signature blend of farce, energetic wordplay, running gags, and wry commentary on bureaucracy and everyday mishaps. The dialogue flows with deadpan deliveries, misunderstandings, and gentle ribbing. The episode showcases both broad and subtle comedy, crafting an escalating farce from the most mundane of beginnings.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential example of the absurdity, quick wit, and cultural snapshot that makes "Amos & Andy" enduringly popular. While the premise is simple, the resulting chaos is played for maximum comedic effect, with a biting punchline that still resonates: sometimes, the real solution is simpler (and more embarrassing) than anyone expects.

If you enjoy classic radio comedy with clever twists and snappy dialogue, "The Broken Clock" will not disappoint.

Transcript

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[Amos]

The Amos and Andy show.

[Andy]

The Amos and Andy Show Rebroadcast for the American Armed Forces and their alliance.

[Kingfish]

And now here they are, Amos and Andy.

[Narrator]

Tonight, our story opens in the auditorium of the Lodge hall where a celebration is in progress in honor of Andy for his long service to the lodge. He's one of the few early members still active right now. The Kingfish is on the platform before the members completing a speech of tribute. Andy is sitting on the stage right in back of him.

[Kingfish]

And so, fellow members, I proud to pay tribute to our brother here on the platform, Mr. Andrew H. Brown, who has done been in our lodge for 20 years. Before Mr. Brown applied for membership with our lodge, the census of opinion was that Andy was a bum. He didn't have no money, he didn't have no business. He never knowed where he was going to sleep from one week to the next. Now, let's look at him now and the progress that he has done made in the last 20 years. Today he is, I would say, well, he is, that is, well, he's a fine, healthy looking man. So, Brother Andrew, on behalf of the membership, we present you as a token of our theme, this brand new genuine electric clock which set us back $8.50.

[Andy]

Thank you brothers for this beautiful electric clock. It has done touch me. I don't know what to say, but I feel show that you brothers would like to know my life's history. Taking it right from where I was born up to today, year by year. I was born in a little town in Georgia. We lived in sort of a farmhouse.

[Amos]

That was some speech that Andy made last night. I bet he must have talked for two hours.

[Kingfish]

Yes, Amos, I tell you, I stayed till he was 18 years old. Then I left. How long did you stay, Flukie? Well, I stayed till he was 24

[Andy]

and that's about all I could take.

[Amos]

I wonder how long Anders spoke there.

[Kingfish]

Well, I tell you, that boy really gets carried away with herself, don't he? Yeah, you're right. Fluker, when I hear Andy get wound up and go into a thing like it done last night, sometimes I wonder if this country ain't making a mistake by having freedom of speech.

[Amos]

Well, the trouble with Andy is.

[Andy]

Good morning, gentlemen. Good morning.

[Kingfish]

Hello there, brother.

[Amos]

Andy, how are you, son?

[Andy]

Flukey, get out the way there a second, will you? I want to plug this clock in there and set up on my desk. This show is a nice clock you boys gave me last night for my 20 years anniversary.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah. Now, Andy, you gotta spin that little wheel in the back of it to get us started.

[Andy]

Yeah.

[Kingfish]

Well, don't seem to go. Let's see if you got it plugged in tight here. Yeah, the plug is in. Good.

[Amos]

Yeah, that's funny.

[Andy]

A clock that won't run. I wonder what she gets. If you was only in the lodge

[Amos]

10 years, but I can't understand it. That's a $8.50 clock. It ought to work.

[Andy]

Well, I got it plugged in and I done turned the starter. What else can you do?

[Kingfish]

Say, fellas, you know, I. As a scientist, I could take it over to my laboratory and smack it a couple of times with a hammer.

[Amos]

Hey, wait a minute. I. I just found this paper in the box that the clock come in. It's a lifetime guarantee. Look here, listen to this. They say here this clock guaranteed for life against all defects be due to faulty material or workmanship and assigned by the Wilton Clock Company.

[Kingfish]

Come on, Andy. I'll take you over to the store where we bought it and we'll show him this guarantee. He gotta give us satisfaction.

[FBI Agent]

Kingfisher, I know you bought the clock here, but it was the last one

[Amos]

I had in the store.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, but don't you see? The clock don't work.

[Andy]

Yeah, and there's a lifetime guarantee that come with the clock.

[FBI Agent]

Listen, boys, that's the manufacturer's guarantee. And it so happened that the Wilton Clock Company is right here in New York. Why don't you take it down after them? You can get some quick action and

[Kingfish]

that look like the best thing to do. Maybe we can get Lightning to drive us to the Wilson Clark Company and aim us a static cab.

[Narrator]

Right.

[Andy]

Let's go.

[Amos]

This must be the players that say that Wilson Clark Company up there.

[Andy]

Yeah, this is it. All right.

[Kingfish]

All right. You wait here, Lightning. This ain't gonna take long.

[Amos]

All right, sir. I'll wait here for you.

[Kingfish]

Hey, this show has a big plan. They got you.

[Andy]

Yeah. Must take a lot of equipment to turn out clocks that don't run.

[Kingfish]

Well, Andy, I Think that soldier. That soldier can't be talking to us.

[Amos]

How should I shoot? That's us.

[Andy]

That's us.

[FBI Agent]

What do you want? This is a war plant.

[Andy]

Oh. Oh. Well, ain't this the Wilton Clock Company?

[FBI Agent]

Yes, but it's been converted into a war production of precision instruments.

[Andy]

Oh, yeah, that's it, huh? Well, you see, Mr. Soldier, the reason we don't come down here is that I got a Wilton clock that don't work. And he's got a lifetime guarantee on it.

[Kingfish]

Come on and let's get out of here. The lifetime guarantee don't mean much if they going to shoot you on the way in.

[Andy]

Now let's get. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Kingfish. Wait. The company must stand back of their clocks here. They will still do that, mister. Ain't there nobody in there that I could get satisfaction from?

[FBI Agent]

Well, Mr. Wilton is still running the plant. I guess you could see him.

[Kingfish]

Yeah.

[Andy]

Well, thank you, mister. We'd be right with you, Kingfish. We better tell Lightning we'll be a little longer.

[Kingfish]

Look, and why don't we take the clock back to the Harlem store there and exchange it for something else. I don't like the idea of going into a place where everybody read the shoot at you.

[Andy]

Don't let's do that. Oh, don't be silly.

[Kingfish]

Wait a minute.

[Andy]

Hey, Lightning, we just want to tell you that we're going to be in this place a little longer than we think we was.

[Amos]

Well, what did you come back for, Ms. Henry?

[Andy]

Well, to tell you what I just told you.

[Amos]

Well, that seemed like a waste of time. Wouldn't it have been quicker if you would have went in there in the first place instead of coming back here to tell me that you gonna be longer than you think you was in the first place?

[Kingfish]

Lightning, this place here is a wall plant now.

[Amos]

Yeah, well, if you got to get a clock fixed, then why does he want to go to a war plant?

[Andy]

We is going to rob the war plan, Lightning. But don't tell nobody.

[Amos]

Wouldn't that be dishonest?

[Andy]

Oh, Lightning. Come on, Kingfish, come on.

[Kingfish]

You know, 10 years ago I would have swore that Lightning couldn't get no dumber, but he done fool me.

[FBI Agent]

All right, fellas, we got go right down this walk here. It's not far. Follow me.

[Kingfish]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy]

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

[FBI Agent]

Ralph, I think you've done a wonderful job on this altitude device. Well, thank you, Mr. Walter. I think if it's successful, it'll be the most important development of the year in Combat aviation. The beauty of it is it can be used on those big B17 Flying Fortresses or on the P38 Lightning. I think they're going to try it out on the P38 lightnings first. The principle's very revolutionary, too. The secret of the whole instrument, the actual heart of it, is these two little screws right here. They're made out of that new, highly sensitive metal that we developed right here in the lab. Well, I don't have to caution you about guarding all this very carefully, Ralph. I should say not, Mr. Wilton. Now, these are the only two metal screws of this type in existence. This is the only set of plans. So believe me, I'm taking no chances. Oh, did you say that altimeter clock is on the way? Yes, it should be here any minute. Oh, good, then I can finish this thing up. I better check with Benson out front on that. Benson speaking.

[Andy]

Benson, this.

[FBI Agent]

And, Mr. Wilton, I'm expecting a couple of men with a new type altimeter clock for those new pursuit planes. Now, you send them back to my office as soon as they arrive. Yes, sir. Oh, by the way, these men are supposed to put some finishing touches on this altimeter clip when they get here. Oh, then I suppose you want them to put on coveralls as usual.

[FBI Chief]

Certainly.

[Kingfish]

You know our rules.

[FBI Agent]

Yes, mister.

[Andy]

Welcome.

[Amos]

Goodbye.

[FBI Agent]

Oh, say, Ralph, come down to my office for a minute. I'll show you our new assignment. Right over to this window, fellas. Or, Mr. Benson? Yes? These two men want to see somebody. Will you take care of them? Okay.

[Kingfish]

Sentry. What was it you men wanted?

[Andy]

We want to see Mr. Wilton. We got a clock here.

[FBI Agent]

Oh, yes, yes, I. I know all about it.

[Andy]

You do?

[Kingfish]

You sure do get around, don't it?

[FBI Agent]

Andy, come in through this gate here, please.

[Andy]

Yeah, I guess the man at the store must have phoned down and told him about it.

[FBI Agent]

All right, take off your clothes. Right here?

[Andy]

Yeah, Well, I. Excuse me for protruding, but did you say something about taking off your clothes?

[Amos]

That's right.

[FBI Agent]

Can't go in the plant with those clothes on.

[Kingfish]

Well, ain't it liable to be a little drafty in there?

[FBI Agent]

Yeah.

[Andy]

This is just a clock factory in it. You ain't running no Turkish bath or nothing on the side, is you?

[FBI Agent]

Now, look, I haven't got time to argue with you. Before you can go back in that plant, you've got to put on coverall.

[Amos]

Coverall?

[Kingfish]

Look, Mother, we don't want to seem pigheaded about this thing, but the only reason we is here.

[Amos]

I know why you're here and you've

[Andy]

got to put on those coveralls just

[Kingfish]

to see Mr. Wilton, huh?

[FBI Agent]

That's right.

[Andy]

You know, Kingfish, the more I hear about this fellow Wilton, the more I see why the clock won't run.

[Kingfish]

Say, mister, when we get all fixed up here, what does we do and where does it go to find Mr. Wilson?

[Amos]

You go straight down to the end

[FBI Agent]

of the passageway, turn left, and it's the first door.

[Kingfish]

Oh, thank you.

[Andy]

Yeah. Well, we might as well get started. Here, get off my coat. You know something, Kingfish? Taking advantage of a lifetime guarantee ain't as easy as a lot of people think. Think it is.

[Kingfish]

Well, this is the end of the passageway. Did he say turn right or left?

[Andy]

And, oh, seem to me he say left. No, no, right.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, that's it.

[FBI Chief]

Right.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, we turn down here, then he say the first door. Well, this is right here.

[Andy]

Ain't nobody here.

[Kingfish]

Well, we just better wait around, Ms. Wilson. Most likely be back in a second.

[Andy]

This don't look like much of an office. Look more like a work room. Hey, say, I could use them things right there.

[Kingfish]

Oh, what's that?

[Andy]

And those two little screws there. Yeah, the looking glass in my bathroom was coming loose.

[Kingfish]

Go ahead and take them if you can use them. They don't want them.

[Andy]

Yeah, they ain't got no use for them. I think this size here is 10 for a nickel in the dime store.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, slip them in your pocket there. They must have millions of them.

[Andy]

Sure.

[Kingfish]

See, I was just thinking, we liable to be in here a little while yet before he changes our clothes and gets out of here. Maybe we better send Lightning a note and tell him what we're doing so he won't get jumpy out there.

[Andy]

Yeah, that's right. Let's write him a note and we can get somebody to take it out to him.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Here's a pencil here. Guess I use this piece of paper here.

[Andy]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Ain't there something on that paper, Kingfish?

[Kingfish]

Oh, just a bunch of lines. Look like some guy been doodling with a pencil instead of doing his work. One side is blue and, oh, it's white on the back.

[Andy]

I'll write on the back of it.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, I'll say, here, Lightning, what are

[FBI Agent]

you men doing here? You know these men, Ralph? No, but I know they have no business in this laboratory.

[Kingfish]

Well, you see, mister, what are you

[FBI Agent]

doing with those plans?

[Andy]

Guard.

[FBI Agent]

Guard. Screws are missing too.

[Andy]

Well, listen, mister, the only reason we come down here is this.

[FBI Chief]

You call me Mr. Wilton.

[FBI Agent]

Yes. I think we have a couple of dangerous men here. Watch them. I want to go through their pockets.

[Kingfish]

Oh, look, mother, we ain't doing nothing. The reason we come down here.

[FBI Agent]

Here are the screws. They were in his pocket. It's lucky we got back in time. If we'd been a minute later, both the plans and the screws would have been gone. And look what they've got written on the back of these plans. Lightning.

[Amos]

Yeah.

[FBI Agent]

They even knew these plans were for that plane.

[Kingfish]

Oh, wait a minute, Mother. That ain't a plan. That's a man.

[Andy]

Yeah, listen, we was just.

[FBI Agent]

I don't know what you two are up to, but this is certainly a matter for the FBI.

[Amos]

Guard.

[Kingfish]

Yes, sir.

[FBI Agent]

Take these two men to FBI headquarters. And I hope they get what they deserve.

[Andy]

Intermission time on the Amos and Andy show. And that means our intermission orchestra directed by Raymond Scott with Dorothy Collins to sing.

[Intermission Singer]

Sam. Imagine you imagining that you love me and starting on a family tree Imagine starting on the family tree the papa is you and the mama is me if your heart goes bumpity bump it's love, love, love, love if your throat comes up with a love it's love, love, love if you knees go and knock it it's love, love, love it's your cuckoo like the cuckoo in the clock it's love, love, Sam.

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[Bleacher Report Announcer]

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[Narrator]

Well, they've got Andy and the Kingfish down at FBI headquarters. The FBI agents are giving them a complete examination and taking them through a routine checkup before bringing them in for questioning.

[FBI Agent]

I think that's everything on that, Harris. Brown's weight 205. Height, 5ft, 11 and a half. Right, Stevens, 191. 6 foot. All right, boys, you can put your shirts on.

[Kingfish]

You know, and I'm getting mighty sick of putting my clothes on and off here.

[Andy]

Yeah, we should have come out in our bathrobes today.

[FBI Agent]

All right, Harris, take them over to fingerprinting. All right, give me a hand. Just relax. I'll do it.

[Andy]

Look, mister, you don't have to take no fingerprints. We as innocent. We was just trying to check on a lifetime guarantee. Honest we was. We wouldn't do nothing to hurt the United States government.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, well, that's right. Look, I got American flag right here in my buttonhole.

[Andy]

Yeah, mine is in my other suit.

[FBI Agent]

All right, Harris, turn them around. Now, I want to get a profile.

[Andy]

Oh, miss, you ain't got to take our pictures.

[Kingfish]

Nobody believes us, but. But we ain't done nothing wrong.

[Andy]

I pleading with you, mister. Won't you please believe that I ain't. Wait a minute.

[FBI Agent]

What's the matter?

[Andy]

My left profile on the side there is much better.

[FBI Chief]

Well, Harris, what did you find?

[FBI Agent]

Nothing, Chief. Records are as clean as a whistle.

[FBI Chief]

Well, you know, there's always a first time. This is the complete file. Fingerprints, pictures and everything, huh?

[FBI Agent]

That's right.

[FBI Chief]

All right, bring them in.

[Kingfish]

Yes, sir.

[FBI Agent]

Come in here, you men.

[Andy]

Yes, sir.

[Kingfish]

Yes, we coming.

[Andy]

We coming. Sit down, miss. We've been trying to tell all your assistants here today is making a mistake.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, Just like I say, mister, I wouldn't do nothing to hurt the government. I, as a patriotic man, I was one of the earliest American settlers in our apartment house. Would you love it?

[Andy]

All right.

[FBI Chief]

But look, try to remember the joy. Hello.

[FBI Agent]

Hello, Chief. We picked up those three fellas from Harlem. You know, friends of the men you've got inside there.

[FBI Chief]

Oh, yes. I want to question them. I'll be right out.

[Andy]

Mister, you don't really think that we meant to steal that stuff in the workroom there, do you?

[FBI Chief]

Well, frankly, boys, I don't. But we've got to make these routine investigations to make sure. Pardon me a moment. Yeah.

[Andy]

Well, that's a relief. We'll wait right here.

[FBI Chief]

How do you do, man? My name is Hood. I'm in charge here. Hennessy. Did you get their names?

[FBI Agent]

Yes, That's Amos Jones. That's Henry Van Porter. This fellow they call Lightning man, we thought was a Plane.

[FBI Chief]

And you're friends of Brown and Stevens, is that right?

[Andy]

Yes.

[Amos]

To tell you the truth, they is

[Kingfish]

our best friends, mister.

[FBI Agent]

Yes, We've known him for many years.

[Kingfish]

And if there's any information you want,

[Andy]

we would be only too happy to vulge it.

[FBI Chief]

I see.

[Andy]

Well, what about you?

[FBI Chief]

You're the fellow that drove them down to the plant, aren't you?

[Amos]

Yes, I. The fellow that drove them down to the plant in the taxi cab while I was waiting for them. They never did come out. And I waited for two hours for them. And then I whizzed on horses.

[FBI Chief]

I see. Well, tell me, what do you know about these men as far as their reputations go?

[Amos]

Well, mister, I tell you the truth. I know they're liable to get into a little scrape now and then like anybody. Liable to do. But I. I can tell you this. That they would never do anything against the federal government. I know that.

[FBI Agent]

Why, certainly not. From my own personal contact with him. I know that they has always felt

[Andy]

that crime was in bad taste.

[Amos]

I. I don't know what they accused

[Kingfish]

of, mister, but I.

[Amos]

Sure, it must be some mistake around here.

[FBI Chief]

In other words, you men all feel positive that Stevens and Brown would do nothing against the law.

[Amos]

Yes, sir, I would swear to that, except for. For one thing, but. But I guess I better not say nothing about that, though.

[FBI Chief]

What is it? Remember, you've got to tell the truth here.

[Amos]

Well, I wouldn't want. I wouldn't like for you to repeat the. Mr. Brown told me not to say nothing about it. But when he left the cab, he said he was going into rival war plans.

[FBI Chief]

Ah, now we've got something to go on.

[Andy]

But, mister, you said a while ago you figured we was innocent.

[Kingfish]

Yeah. Must I believe us? Please believe us. We wasn't gonna steal nothing.

[FBI Chief]

Have you got that lie detector all attached? Tennessee.

[FBI Agent]

Yes, sir.

[Andy]

Take this thing off me, will you, please, mister? Take it off. I'll tell you the truth. I'll tell you the truth.

[FBI Chief]

Brown, I'm gonna ask you some questions. And if you don't tell the truth, this lie detector will show just when you're lying.

[Kingfish]

Wait a minute, mister. Daddy Fair. This lie detector don't know nothing about the kids.

[FBI Chief]

This machine records your emotional reactions. And no matter how hard you try to conceal your feelings, you can't fool it. This machine transposes your emotional vibrations into sound. I'll turn it on now. In other words, when you lie, you'll hear the hum rise. All right. Here's the first question. Your true name is Andrew H. Brown, is that right?

[Andy]

Yes, sir.

[FBI Chief]

Have you ever used any other name?

[Andy]

No, sir.

[FBI Chief]

Why did you try to steal those plans?

[Andy]

I didn't try to steal them, mister. Honest, I didn't.

[FBI Agent]

Honest.

[Kingfish]

Well, I didn't hear no rising hum, Mr.

[Andy]

Post not. I never told a lie in my life.

[Kingfish]

Oh, you, you haven't, huh, mister, you must have a short circuit in there someplace.

[FBI Chief]

Mr. Brown, I'm interested in your source of income. Just what is it that you do to earn a living?

[Andy]

Well, I, I as in partners with the Kingfish here.

[FBI Chief]

And what does he do for a living?

[Andy]

Well, he's. He, He. I would say he. Well, they're just about the same as me.

[FBI Chief]

All right. What do you both do then?

[Andy]

Oh, well. Well, we works hard all the time, if that's what you mean.

[Amos]

Well.

[Andy]

Well, I mean by that pretty hard.

[Kingfish]

Mila, is that machine incinerating. That my friend is lying.

[FBI Chief]

Doing more than insinuating.

[Narrator]

Andy.

[Kingfish]

Pull yourself together there, son.

[FBI Agent]

Brown.

[FBI Chief]

Brown, do you still maintain you just went inside that factory to get a clock fixed?

[FBI Agent]

Yes, sir.

[FBI Chief]

And you expect me to believe that?

[Andy]

Oh, mister, I just hope that someday your clock goes bad and you got a lifetime guarantee.

[FBI Chief]

But you did go in to rob that war plant, didn't you?

[Andy]

No, sir.

[FBI Chief]

Doesn't seem to be any reaction. Brown, I wonder if you could be an innocent accomplice in this thing.

[Andy]

Yes, sir, I'd be glad to.

[Kingfish]

Yeah, sir, and I'd be glad to be innocent accomplice to remember I his partner.

[FBI Chief]

No, no, no, you don't quite understand. What I mean is, is it possible that this so called friend of yours, the Kingfish, is a mastermind and is just using you for a tool?

[Kingfish]

Now wait a minute, Brown.

[FBI Chief]

Have you ever known the King face to do anything dishonest?

[Kingfish]

I'll hold it and hold it. Hold it.

[FBI Chief]

Now, what's the matter?

[Kingfish]

And before you answer that question, I want you to calm yourself down there. I want you to get your emotions leveled off as smooth as a pool table.

[FBI Chief]

All right, answer the question. Have you ever known the Kingfisher do anything to say honest?

[Kingfish]

Well, I didn't hear nothing.

[FBI Chief]

I did.

[Andy]

Well, what I was going to say is I know the Kingfish is honest. All right. Well, that is, I think he is. Well, what I mean is, he's honest most of the time. That is to say, he honest at least half of the time. Look, look, mister, maybe we better get off this question before we blows a fuse here.

[Kingfish]

Y m, I, I going to tell you, that machine there is just naturally Suspicious?

[Andy]

Listen to me.

[FBI Chief]

Listen to me, young man. Did the Kingfish take you into that

[Andy]

plant to steal those plans? No, sir, absolutely not.

[FBI Chief]

I see. Hennessy, what does the chart show?

[FBI Agent]

No guilty reaction on any of the key questions, sir.

[FBI Chief]

Well, boys, I guess you've been telling the truth about the clock. Looks like we were up the wrong street.

[Kingfish]

You mean that we can go, mister?

[Andy]

Yes.

[FBI Chief]

I'm sorry about this, but we have to check into these things. I. I guess you were pretty sore at me there for a while, but. Well, I'm not such a bad guy, am I?

[Andy]

Oh, no, sir. I think you is a swell fell. I tell you, Amos, I'm going to say split this whole thing wide open and let people know what's going on here in this country.

[Amos]

But now take it easy, Andy.

[Andy]

Take it easy nothing. I get electric clock with a lifetime guarantee. The clock don't work, I try to get it fixed and nearly end up in the electric chair.

[Amos]

Andy, will you please calm down?

[Andy]

Listen, I has done already writ a letter to President Roosevelt telling him how his citizens is going to be getting pushed round.

[Amos]

Oh, now look, Andy, if President Roosevelt

[Kingfish]

don't handle things like that. Yeah?

[Andy]

Well, somebody in the government ought to do something about it. What is I paying all these taxes for that I would pay if I was paying any.

[Amos]

And what did you write to President Roosevelt?

[Andy]

Well, you see, all this happened cause the clock didn't work in the first place. So I writ him that he ought to see that the clock companies make good clocks with good wire in them and good cogwheel and good everything else.

[Amos]

Oh, I don't think you oughta done that, Andy.

[Andy]

Well, why not? Like I say, if that clock would have worked in the office this morning, it would have saved everybody a lot of trouble. I. Oh, wait a minute. Come in, Lightning. What'd they say? Lightning.

[Amos]

Well, Ms. Andy, I took the clock over to the electric company and they said ain't nothing wrong with the clock.

[FBI Agent]

It's you.

[Kingfish]

Me?

[Amos]

Yeah. You ain't paid your bill for two months and your electricity been turned off.

[FBI Agent]

Amos and Andy will be back with

[Andy]

you again next week.

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