Amos & Andy - The Locked Trunk's Secret

Summary

Podcast Summary: Amos & Andy - The Locked Trunk's Secret
Harold’s Old Time Radio | March 25, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode of Amos & Andy, titled "The Locked Trunk’s Secret," the beloved comedy duo finds themselves entangled in a mysterious caper involving an unclaimed baggage trunk purchased at an auction. What begins as Andy’s attempt to strike it rich quickly evolves into a comical tale of mistaken fortune, dubious contracts, and an unexpected brush with the law. Notably, this episode features guest star Peter Lorre, whose character adds a suspenseful, almost noir twist to the proceedings.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

1. Andy’s Auction Surprise

• [01:12 - 02:36]
  Andy recounts to Amos and Kingfish how he inadvertently bought a steamer trunk at a railroad auction. He was dozing when his unintended nod landed him the purchase for $5.

  “You know how they work it at these auctions...the auctioneer man put this thing up just as I was dozing off, and he say, who’ll bid $5? My head kind of dropped down. He say, you got it.” — Andy (01:28)

• Amos and Kingfish are immediately curious (and skeptical) about Andy’s latest “get-rich-quick” escapade.

2. The Unopenable Trunk

• [02:36 - 03:33]
  The trio examines the trunk, only to realize it’s locked tight with steel bands with no key in sight.

  “That’s right. I ain’t been able to open it yet because it’s got them steel bands around it, and on top of that it’s locked and there ain’t no key.” — Andy (02:42)

• Kingfish proposes getting Fluke Harris, a local inventor, to try opening it.

3. Fluke Harris and the First Mystery Man

• [03:40 - 04:50]
  Down in Fluke’s basement, they attempt to open the trunk. Parallel to this, Peter Lorre’s mysterious character arrives at Andy’s office, anxious about the trunk’s whereabouts.

  “Young man, that trunk must not be opened. And for the safety of all concerned, it would pay you to find Mr. Brown.” — Peter Lorre (06:13)

• Tension rises as it becomes clear that the trunk is of great significance to both Andy and this stranger.

4. A Sudden Offer and Kingfish’s Scheme

• [07:28 - 14:44]
  Amos conveys Peter Lorre’s generous offer: $50 for the unopened trunk. Sensing an opportunity, Kingfish convinces Andy to make him a half-partner for $2.50.

  “Now, why don’t you let me put up two dollars and a half, Andy, and let me buy half interest in this thing with you?” — Kingfish (11:30)

• The contract scene is full of Kingfish’s classic fast-talking and attempts to gain the upper hand, but Andy insists on being “party of the first part.”

• After formalizing the partnership, Kingfish finally discloses the lucrative buyback offer.

  “The man that owns the trunk is done traced it to us and has done offered us $50 for it. Funny how those things like that can slip my mind.” — Kingfish (14:20)

5. The Showdown at Peter Lorre’s Apartment

• [16:19 - 21:37]
  In a memorable sequence, Andy and Kingfish don their finest attire and attempt to finagle a higher price at Peter Lorre's apartment. The atmosphere is thick with suspicion and humor as the duo pretends to be indifferent to the $50 offer, pressing for more. Peter Lorre matches their every increase, but his patience wears thin.

  Kingfish: “$50 don’t mean nothing to rich men like us.” (19:58)
  Peter Lorre: “And I must ask you again not to bargain with me because it sometimes makes me do things that I’m very often sorry for.” (20:37)

• As they haggle up to $100 (and down again), the police burst in, revealing the true nature of the trunk – it contains $200,000 in stolen securities.

  “Don’t make a move, anybody. We’re police officers...We know there’s $200,000 worth of stolen negotiable securities in there.” — Police Officer (21:37, 21:54)

6. Aftermath and Comic Relief

• [23:18 - 24:09]
  After the police confiscate the trunk and arrest Peter Lorre’s character, Kingfish and Andy reflect on their partnership, “tearing up” their business contract and settling accounts to ensure fairness.

  “Here, I got my contract. Is you got your contract with you?...Give me that. We’ll tear them both up...But you gotta give me my $2 and a half back so everything be level.” — Kingfish (23:36, 23:45)

7. Epilogue: Andy Gets the Last Laugh

• [25:29 - 25:50]
  At the police station, it’s revealed that Andy wasn’t in trouble, but was called to collect a reward for helping recover the stolen goods — an irony not lost on Kingfish, who had tried to stay out of trouble.

  “Ex partner, dear. I glad you mentioned that. But the reason I come down here was to collect his reward. It must have just slipped my mind.” — Andy (25:50)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Unintended Purchase:
  “You done dozed yourself right out of five bucks there. That’s what you’re done.” — Kingfish (01:47)

• Mysterious Warning:
  “That trunk must not be opened. And for the safety of all concerned, it would pay you to find Mr. Brown.” — Peter Lorre (06:13)

• Classic Fast-Talking:
  “You is a slow talker, and that’s the trouble. Yeah, I oughta be the one to tell him. Cause I is a fast talker. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Look at that. Yeah, I can rattle that stuff off. I really rattles it off.” — Kingfish (08:47)

• Comic Negotiation:
  “We has done seed by now and you has done seed that we as rich men now, after all, we is going to have the $2 supper after we leave here. Andy gonna smoke another 25 cent cigar.” — Kingfish (19:43)

• Police Reveal:
  “We know there’s $200,000 worth of stolen negotiable securities in there. We knew it was in there the day it was checked at the depot.” — Police Officer (21:54)

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Timeline of Important Segments

• [01:12] – Andy reveals his accidental trunk purchase.
• [02:36] – The friends discuss the mystery of unclaimed baggage.
• [04:50] – Peter Lorre’s character makes his first enigmatic appearance.
• [11:30-14:44] – Kingfish buys into the deal; the “partner” contract is drawn up.
• [16:19-21:37] – The haggling and final reveal at Peter Lorre’s apartment.
• [21:54] – The police’s entry and revelation about the trunk.
• [23:45] – Andy and Kingfish “tear up” their partnership, returning money.
• [25:50] – Andy collects a police reward — the perfect comic twist.

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Final Thoughts

This episode perfectly captures the blend of comic misadventure, clever dialogue, and suspense that has made Amos & Andy a lasting classic. With snappy one-liners, character-driven gags, and a twist-laden plot, “The Locked Trunk’s Secret” delivers both nostalgia and entertainment, culminating in Andy’s accidental heroics and Kingfish’s comeuppance.

Special Mention:
Peter Lorre’s guest appearance is a highlight, injecting the proceedings with a sense of mystery and menace that is expertly played off by the regular cast.

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For listeners new and old, this episode is a masterclass in old-time radio comedy—full of heart, wit, and the timeless delights of a well-locked trunk.

Transcript

[Tyler Redick / Ryan Seacrest]

Tyler redick here from 2311 racing another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Chumba. Jump [e-mail]. let's Chumba. No purchase necessary. BTW group void where prohibited by law. CTNCs21+ sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Good evening.

[Narrator / Announcer]

The makers of the new Rinso bring you the Amos and Andy show with their guest tonight, Peter Laurie. To a lot of people, an auction sale is a very serious business, but to Andy, it's just another way of keeping himself occupied without resorting to that distasteful thing called work. Andy has just returned from one of these auctions now, and he's in his office talking to his friend Amos and the Kingfish.

[Amos]

So you've been at one of them auctions again, ain't you, son?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, but this time I done bought something.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

What did you buy, brother Anders?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

I don't know, but I paid $5 for it.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, $5?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah.

[Amos]

How come you pay $5 for something

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

that you don't know what to do?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Well, Amos, you know how they works it at these auctions. You bids. You know your bids by nodding your head. Well, the auctioneer man put this thing up just as I was dozing off, and he say, who'll bid $5? My head kind of dropped down. He say, you got it.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, and you done dozed yourself right out of five bucks there. That's what you're done.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah. Hey, Lightning. Lightning, bring it right in here.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

What has he got there?

[Amos]

I'll help you with it, Lightning.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Set it right down here, y'.

[Amos]

All. Sir. Just kind of steady it there for me, Ms. Amos, if you will.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Okay, Lightning, you can go now.

[Amos]

You promised to pay me 50 cents for this, Ms. Andy.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, well, send me an item arise statement of the whole business.

[Amos]

But, Ms. Andy, you can't itemarize one item. Andy, you mean to say you paid $5 for that old steamer trunk? What is in it?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Well, that's what I don't know. You see, fellas, instead of going to one of them regular auctions, I went to one of them railroad auctions where they sell what they call unclaimed baggage.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, yeah, and I know what you mean. Well, you don't know what's inside of nothing, and neither do the railroad company.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, that's right. I ain't been able to open it yet because it's got them steel bands around it, and on top of that, it's locked and there ain't no key for it.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Mm.

[Amos]

Tell me this, Andy, why Did you buy something like that? You ain't got so much money. That $5 don't mean nothing to you.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Wait a minute, though, Amos. You can't tell nothing yet till he opens the trunk. His whole future might be inside there.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, that's right, Amos. My whole future might be right in that steamer trunk. Who knows what's in there?

[Amos]

Well, it seems to me the thing to do then is to see what's inside the trunk.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Well, I don't know how we're going to get them steel bands off there and all that. I ain't got no tools for it.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Wait a minute, sir. How about taking the thing over to Fluke Harris's basement? He got a laboratory down there, you know, and he's an inventor. And he can most likely invent a way to open the trunk.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah. Come on, Kingfish. We'll carry it over there. Lightning, you stay here in the office and hold down the fort.

[Amos]

Yeah, sir.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Mr. Andrews, because I'm going to be busy with this thing for a while. So if anybody comes in with any business deals or anything. Why, Lightning, you tell them that you don't know where I is. How you coming there, Flukie?

[Fluke Harris]

I coming along pretty good with the thing, Ms. Ander.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Listen, Flukie, me and Pen, you know, for the time that you were spending on hammering your thumb there.

[Fluke Harris]

Yeah, Well, I think I got it here, fellas. All I gotta do now is a little prying here. Yeah, there we is. That's got it.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah. Boy, that was some job.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Now, what about the lock?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah. Can you open that, Flugie?

[Fluke Harris]

Yeah, Well, I try. Kingfish, look at my scientific equipment there in the box and see if you can find me a hairpin.

[Peter Laurie]

Oh, please pardon me. I say. Please pardon me.

[Amos]

I answer. I asked.

[Peter Laurie]

I asked, Is this Mr. Brown's office?

[Amos]

I answer. Did you want to see somebody?

[Peter Laurie]

Oh, I'm so sorry to have awakened you.

[Amos]

Oh, that's all right. I was gonna wake up later anyhow.

[Peter Laurie]

Is this Mr. Andrew Brown's office?

[Amos]

Uh, Yasir Yasser. This is his office, but he ain't here right now.

[Peter Laurie]

My name is Peter Lore.

[Amos]

I didn't get the name of.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

What.

[Amos]

What is it again?

[Peter Laurie]

Well, it's unimportant, but I would like to see Mr. Brown about a steamer trunk. One that has metal bands around it.

[Amos]

Well, he wouldn't be interested in that, I'm sure. Cause he bought one just like that this morning.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

He don't want it.

[Peter Laurie]

That's the one I wish to see him about.

[Amos]

Well, I don't think he'd be interested in selling it neither. Cause I hear him say that his whole future lies in that trunk.

[Peter Laurie]

And it so happens that my whole future lies in that trunk, too.

[Amos]

Sure is a lot of futures in there, ain't it?

[Peter Laurie]

Do you know where I can find Mr. Brown?

[Amos]

No, sir, I don't know where you can find Miss Brown. Left here a while ago with the trunk to see if he could get them bands off and see what was in the thing.

[Peter Laurie]

Young man, that trunk must not be opened. And for the safety of all concerned, it would pay you to find Mr. Brown. Oh, please. Pardon me, but I. I cannot stress too strongly the importance of finding him at once. And when you find him, I would suggest that you tell him that it would be advisable, and I'm willing to.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Flukie, you ain't getting nowhere with that hairpin.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, yeah, Fluky, ain't you got a skeleton hairpin around here that will fit any lock?

[Fluke Harris]

Well, I tell you, fellas, I do the best I can. Don't forget that the whole principle of a lock is to keep people out. And it just so happens that this lock is making a good job of it.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Oh, look, Kingfish, maybe you better go out and get a locksmith somewhere.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

All right, all right, and that's what I'll do. I'll go out and try to dig up one. See you in a little while, fellows. I'll get on up the steps.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Be sure to get a good locksmith too.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, Lightning, what you doing over here?

[Amos]

I was just going down to see in fluker's basement. It's Ms. Andy down there with Fluke.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, he's down there. What you want to see him? Boat ladies?

[Amos]

Well, a man come to the office to see him about the trunk. There are some reporting stuff. I gotta tell Mr. Andy about it right away.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, there is, huh? Now, don't rush. Don't rush. Just take it easy. What you gotta tell him?

[Amos]

Well, the man say that the trunk belonged to him and he'd been away for a long time. And he went down to the railroad station to claim it. And he found out that Mr. Anderton bought it at auction. And he said that he'll give Miss Andy $50 for the trunk. And Miss Andy must not open up the trunk or he won't give him nothing. And he give me his address where Miss Andy can take the trunk tonight and get $50. And I guess that's all he say.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, sure is interesting. Lightning want to give Andy $50 for the trunk, huh? What is the Man's name and address.

[Amos]

Well, I didn't get his name, but here's his address written on a piece of paper right here.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Thank you, lady. I'll tell Andy about it.

[Amos]

Wait a minute, though. I suppose to find Mr. Andy and tell him right away he gotta be told fast.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, I know he's gotta be told fast. But you is a slow talker, and that's the trouble. Yeah, I oughta be the one to tell him. Cause I is a fast talker. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Look at that. Yeah, I can rattle that stuff off. I really rattles it off.

[Amos]

I asked her. That sure was fast, all right.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I can talk even faster than that. But wouldn't be no point to it. You see, lady and I can talk 178 words a minute. But Andy can only listen 112.

[Amos]

Well, I sure would like to tell him myself.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

No lighter. No, don't do that. Listen, I got a better idea. Let me copy this down, that address there. I'll copy this down here. This address that you give me here. You see? Now, here, you take it too. Now, you go to the man's place here and tell the man that Andy will be up with the trunk tonight, unopened.

[Amos]

All right, brother King. See? I'll tell the man.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

50 bucks, huh? Well, boys, no luck. Just down to the drugstore. Phoned five locksmiths. Couldn't find none of them in nowhere.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

No luck, huh? That's great.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Say, Andy, I wonder if you'd mind going up the steps with me. I want to talk to you private and confidential and under your hat. Just take a second or two.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, well, I don't mind. Excuse us Flukey, will you?

[Fluke Harris]

Oh, yes. That's all right. I'll just put her around here in the basement and invent something. I'll be here when you all come back.

[Tyler Redick / Ryan Seacrest]

Tyler redick here from 2311 Racing. Another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Chumba. Jump [e-mail]. let's Chumba. No purchase necessary. BTW group void where prohibited by law. CTNC21+ sponsored by Chumba Casino.

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[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Uh, what you want to speak to me about, King?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, now, and we as always been partners in just about everything. But about this trunk deal, frankly, old pal, I. I kind of feel left out of things.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yes.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah. I. I don't have that partnership feeling that we usual has together. Now, why don't you let me put up two dollars and a half handy and let me buy half interest in this thing with you?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Well, if you really want.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

It's a deal. It's a deal. It's a deal. It's a deal. Now, look here. We'll draw up the agreement right now. Now, I got a fountain pen right here.

[Amos]

Yeah.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Here's some paper on this table right here. Sit down over. Come over here and sit down. Come over.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, yeah, do that.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, now sit right down. Now, Cools. We want to make this thing legal.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Oh, yeah, sure. We gotta do that.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah. I'll just write at the top of the paper here. State of New York, November 5, 1943. Do that sound legal so far?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, yeah, that's. We is within the law there. Hey, what is you making all them lines on the paper there for?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Just drawing some lines on there. Now there we'll. Now, at the top of the contract, for the first inch, we'll do that party of the first part stuff.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Check.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Then we'll take the next 2 inches for the IPSO factors and the null and voids and all them things. And another two inches for the extra clauses and the loopholes. Now, let me see here. Well, that leaves us about 3 inches for the sealant wax and the ribbon.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, yeah, that'll make a nice looking contract, all right.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, you're right. Something to be proud of. Now, let's start writing the thing here. I say here at the beginning of it, I, George Stevens being the party of the first part.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I ain't playing no second party to no party or no first part.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, Andy, I gotta be the party of the first party.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Hold it. Hold it right there. I is going to be the party of the first part.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

You will?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, I is.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Now wait a minute. Yeah. Well, Andy, I was very happy that these contracts is all drawed up and signed.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah. Read me that stuff up in the beginning again, will you, kingfish?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, yeah. Started the contract. See here. Andrew H. Brown and George Stevens both being party of the first part. That's what you mean?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, that's what I wanted to hear right there.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

All right, Andy. Now look here, I'll give you two dollars and a half. Here, yours. Now here is your signed copy. And here is mine.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Okay. Now let's get back down in the basement and see what we can do about opening that trunk.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, brother Andy. I'm glad you mentioned that, pardner. Dear, there's something I forgot to tell you. It just slipped my mind.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Uh huh. Yeah. I got a feeling that I just bought two dollars and a half's worth of bad news.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, no, it's good news, Andy. Good news. Oh, yeah, yeah. Now listen. The man that owns the trunk is done traced it to us and has done offered US$50 for it. Funny how those things like that can slip my mind.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, it is. Kept right on slipping, too, till after the contract was signed. Kingfish, you done pulled a fast one on me.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, now, brother Andy, don't say that to me.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Don't.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Don't hurt my feelings. Oh, you know how senseless I is. How. Just tell me, how can a partnership last when one partner talks to another one that way? And on top of that, you ain't never gonna regret this, Andy. Cause I gonna tell you something. I done already figured out a way how we gonna get more than $50 for the trunk. Yeah.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Let me ask you one question, Kingfish.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

What is it, partner? Dear, How.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

How come that you remembered all this when I say something about opening that trunk?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, there's another thing that I want to tell you. The man will only give us the money if he gets the trunk back unopened.

[Peter Laurie]

Hmm.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Unopened. That's a funny thing, ain't it?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Now listen. Listen to your partner. Look here, we gonna take the trunk up to the man tonight. But first we is going up to your room at the boarding house and get dressed up.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Cause I is got a ide.

[Narrator / Announcer]

The Kingfish and Andy have dressed up in their best clothes and are now taking the trunk to the man's apartment.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

This is the apartment right here, Andy.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, you know, I was getting kind of nervous.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Now just calm yourself, Andy. There's nothing to be worried about. Lightning say that this man is such a nice, polite, sweet gentleman. Yeah, Lightning say that. He would always say stuff like if you don't mind and pardon me, and I sorry to trouble you.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Oh, boy.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

We really gonna push him around.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'll ring the doorbell.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah. Now remember, when we go in here and see him, act like we as rich men. Like $50 don't mean nothing to us.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Okay, Kingfisher, I got the idea.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

And try not to laugh. When I start making a suck out the guy.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah.

[Peter Laurie]

Oh, good evening, gentlemen. Won't you come in?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, yes, yes. Get a hold of one end of the trunk there, will you, Andy?

[Peter Laurie]

Yeah, you can put it right there, if you please. Won't you sit down?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, well, we can't stay too long. We're going to a big cafe. Each one of us is gonna have a $2 supper with all the trimmings. And we always leave a big tip for em too. Oh yeah, we really kick money around.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah. Yeah, we even check our hats with a hatchet gal.

[Peter Laurie]

Well, I'm sure our business won't take long.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Oh yeah. Nice little apartment you got here. You don't mind if I smoke a big expensive 25 cent cigar, do you?

[Peter Laurie]

No, not at all.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, this is a nice room you got here. Nice decorations you got on the wall there too. Tell me this, mister. Is them real guns hanging up there?

[Peter Laurie]

Well, they shoot bullets, if that is what you mean.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Do you ever shoot one of them guns?

[Peter Laurie]

Oh, occasionally.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

What'd you shoot at? Them targets with the round circles on them. A little bit of hole in the middle.

[Peter Laurie]

No, no, no, I don't shoot at that kind of target.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

What do you do then? Stick tin cans on the fence and pop them off, that kind of stuff?

[Peter Laurie]

No, I do not pop off cans.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Then maybe go out and shoot birds, huh?

[Peter Laurie]

No, I. I don't shoot birds. Birds have a right to live.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, what else is there to shoot?

[Peter Laurie]

Oh, there are things.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, wait a minute. We is in the right place here, ain't we? I just want to ask you, mister, you is the sweet man, ain't you? The one to say please all the time, sorry to trouble important me and all that stuff.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Oh, you sure got a nice comfortable place here. All right. I can see that. You kind of take life easy, don't you, mister?

[Peter Laurie]

Yes, I take life very easy.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Just one more question I want to ask you. You know how peoples is always joking. You was kind of a kid, ain't you? I mean, I will lot of things you say don't mean. You joke a lot and all that stuff, don't you?

[Peter Laurie]

Well, I do have my lighter moments.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah. Yes, that's what I thought. Yeah. Now let's get down to business.

[Peter Laurie]

Oh, that's an excellent idea. Of course, I assume you haven't opened the trunk.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

No, sir. No sir, we. We don't know what's in there.

[Peter Laurie]

Very good. Now, according to our agreement, I'll pay you $50 and you leave the trunk here.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Just a minute. Now, mister, just a minute there.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Hold yourself there.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

We has done seed by now and you has done seed that we as rich men now, after all, we is going to have the $2 supper after we leave here. Andy gonna smoke another 25 cent cigar.

[Peter Laurie]

What are you trying to say?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

We just trying to tell you that $50 don't mean nothing to rich men like us.

[Peter Laurie]

Oh, I can see you want more money.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yes, we want doll.

[Peter Laurie]

All right, I'll be very happy to pay you $65.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

In that case, we want $75.

[Peter Laurie]

All right, let's make it 75.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

We want 100. We want 100.

[Peter Laurie]

I do not like bickering, disturbs me.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Well, now, wait just a minute here. This is a free country and we as American citizens and we got it ready to bicker if we want bicker.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, we want $100.

[Peter Laurie]

And I must ask you again not to bargain with me because it sometimes makes me do things that I'm very often sorry for.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Well, we is standing our ground. $65 or nothing.

[Peter Laurie]

Then it will be nothing, brother.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

And I think we got a little ground to spare. We can back up there a little bit. Yeah, let's make it 50.

[Peter Laurie]

Well, that was our original agreement. If you'll pardon me a moment, I'll get the money out of my desk here.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Okay. Say, miss, you know, I got awful thirsty in the last five minutes. Can I get a drink of ice water around here? I kind of hot too.

[Peter Laurie]

Oh, you may go back in the kitchen and you'll find ice cubes in the ice box.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Oh, yes, thank you a lot. Thank you a lot.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Sir, there's $50 that you is getting there. Is that right, mister?

[Peter Laurie]

Yes, it is. And I know that you would rather have it in cash and a check.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, yasa yasa, cash don't keep bouncing back on you.

[Peter Laurie]

Yeah, that's very true and it's very fortunate.

[Police Officer]

Don't make a move, anybody. We're police officers.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Keep them covered, boys.

[Peter Laurie]

What is the meaning of this intrusion?

[Police Officer]

Never mind the small talk, Laurie. We finally caught up with you in that trunk. Put the cops on him, Joe.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, wait a minute now, gentlemen, look here, now, now, don't try to revolve me into thing. I give you my word, mister. I, I, I, I, I don't know even know what's in the trunk.

[Police Officer]

But we know there's $200,000 worth of stolen negotiable securities in there. We knew it was in there the day it was checked at the depot. And we've been waiting a Year and a half for the owner to claim

[Peter Laurie]

it here, and a half for a policeman. Very clever.

[Police Officer]

When the trunk wasn't claimed, we let the auction go through and we knew that the owner wouldn't be far away.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yes, but, mister, I is innocent. I tell you. I didn't know none of this stuff. I didn't even know what was in the trunk.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

We know that.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yes, that's the truth, mister. The way the things stand Now, I got $2.50 invested in that trunk. Well, I guess you're just out two

[Police Officer]

dollars and a half.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, yes. Excuse me a minute. I just want to go back in the kitchen.

[Police Officer]

All right, come on, boys. Let's take a look around the room

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

here before we get going. Oh, what a power, Mary.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, what a power, Mary. Brother Andrew, ain't you got that glass of water yet?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Oh, I haven't trouble with these ice cubes. I done busted my fingernail and everything else. You want a glass?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

No, thank you, partner. Dear, there's something that I want to talk to you about. My conscience has been gnawing at me. Oh, sure enough about what it's been saying to me. Kingfish, you ain't got no right to half interest in that $50. That money ought to all belong to Andy.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

No fooling. Is that what your conscience has been saying to you?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, Andy, sometime I do believe that my conscience thinks more of you than it do of me.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, well, to tell you the truth about this thing, you really is done pulled a fast one on me this afternoon.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, I know I done pulled one on you, Anda. And that's why I want to unpull it right now. Here, I got my contract. Is you got your contract with you?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, sure, I got it right here.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Give me that. We'll tear them both up. Yeah. Now, of course, you gotta Give me my $2 and a half back so everything be level and even and all that stuff. But we won't be fair about the thing, you know.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Oh, sure. Yeah. Well, I'll give you that right now.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Here.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Here it is. There's one, two and a half.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Thanks, Andy. I feel a lot better now.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Yeah, I do, too. I ain't even thirsty no more. Come on, let's get back in the parlor.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Okay, ex partner, dear, you come right on here.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

You know, Kingfish, you was a pretty good pal after all. I would say that you. Hey, what is those cops doing in there? Where's they going with the man and the trunk?

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Brother Andy, I was glad you mentioned it. I forgot to tell you it must have just slipped my mind. You say you ain't got no idea, Amos, why they wanted Andy to come down here to the police station? Is you?

[Amos]

No, I ain't. They just told me to come down

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

and told him to come and he

[Amos]

asked me to come with him and they said for him to come down as fast as he could. So I come down with him here. He's in the room there now with the police.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

I think when I hear that y' all was down here, I figured I better come right over here too to make sure that Andy don't tell him that I know nothing about this trunk mess.

[Amos]

Oh, in other words, Kingfish, you wanna make sure that you is clear of

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

the thing, don't you? Yeah, yeah. I don't wanna be implicated with that Trump. Of course, if Andy go to jail on account of it, I'll be glad to visit him and bring him some hot soup and things like that, you know?

[Amos]

Yeah, I know. Look, here comes Andy out the room now.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Yeah, maybe they're gonna let him come out and say goodbye to us.

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Well, hello fellas. Hello there.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Listen, brother Andy, you didn't revolve me in this thing, did you?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Oh, no declare King fish.

[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

Oh, that's great. I knew that you would protect me. Say, wait a minute. What is that money you got there in your hand?

[Andy (Andrew H. Brown)]

Ex partner, dear. I glad you mentioned that. But the reason I come down here was to collect his reward. It must have just slipped my mind.

[Narrator / Announcer]

Be sure to join us next Friday night at this same time when the makers of the new Rinseau will again present the Amos and Andy show. And at which time Amos and Andy will have as their guest, Mr. Lionel Barrymore. Till then, this is Harlow Wilcox speaking for all of us. Thanking Peter Laurie for appearing with us tonight and bidding all of you a pleasant good night.

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[Kingfish (George Stevens)]

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