Anderson Family - Borrowed Lawnmower

Summary

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Podcast Summary

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Anderson Family - Borrowed Lawnmower
Date: April 1, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of "The Anderson Family" is a classic Golden Age radio sitcom centered on domestic comedy and neighborhood conflicts. The plot revolves around Oliver Anderson's neglected return of a neighbor's lawnmower, triggering a humorous chain of misunderstandings, quips about integrity and honesty, household squabbles, and the repercussions on Oliver’s hopes for a bank loan. As the story unfolds, misunderstandings escalate, tempers flare, and ultimately a comedic resolution involves both the faulty lawnmower and fractured neighborly relations.

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Key Discussion Points & Episode Breakdown

1. The Lawnmower Loan Forgotten (00:32 - 02:00)

• The episode opens with Mrs. Freebairn Briggs confronting Oliver about the lawnmower he borrowed and failed to return, with sharp, witty exchanges setting the comic tone.
• Oliver is simultaneously preoccupied with applying for a bank loan to improve his property.

Notable Quotes:

• Mrs. Freebairn Briggs: “If there's one thing I admire in a man, it's integrity.” (00:47)
• Freebairn Briggs: “I admire honesty.” (00:51)
• Oliver Anderson (sarcastic): “I’ll return your lawnmower. I don’t want to hear any more about it.” (00:59)

2. Family Dynamics and Letter Writing (02:00 - 04:53)

• Oliver’s efforts to write a compelling loan request letter are interrupted by Junior and Mary, who offer advice and playful criticism.
• Mary is appointed to a neighborhood flower committee thanks to Mrs. Briggs.
• The Andersons vent about their neighbors, particularly Mrs. Briggs’s overbearing personality.

Notable Quotes:

• Junior Anderson: “You can’t be too careful on a letter like this.” (02:40)
• Oliver Anderson: “She could lose about 100 pounds of the weight she carries.” (03:47)

3. The Confrontation: Neighborly Showdown (04:53 – 10:09)

• Mrs. Briggs and her husband formally confront Oliver about the missing and now rusted lawnmower. The conversation is filled with melodramatic accusations and passive-aggressive remarks.
• Oliver discovers he is at fault for breaking the lock on the Briggs’ shed and leaving the mower to rust, triggering a debate over responsibility.

Notable Quotes:

• Mrs. Freebairn Briggs: “If there’s one thing I cannot stand in a man, it’s procrastination.” (06:34)
• Mrs. Freebairn Briggs: “I expect the lawnmower returned in the same condition as when you broke into the shed and stole it.” (09:29)
• Freebairn Briggs: “You stole it, she said.” (09:37)
• Oliver Anderson (deadpan): “Now wait a minute, Lady Mountain Dean. I pay for my mistakes and my son’s mistakes.” (09:21)

4. Family Fallout and Loan Woes (10:09 – 12:37)

• Oliver blames Junior for neglecting the lawnmower, insists Junior pay for repairs, and shrugs off Junior’s attempts to explain.
• The bank loan is denied after Mr. Briggs, revealed as a new bank director, decides against it because of “the lawnmower incident.”

Notable Quotes:

• Oliver Anderson: “Just to show you that life isn't a bowl of prunes—”
  Mary Anderson: “Cherries, Oliver.” (10:53)
• Oliver Anderson: “Briggs is gonna stop it. The shrimp.” (12:37)

5. The Fix-It Shop Mix-Up (13:34 – 16:41)

• At the repair shop, Oliver and Mary pick up the lawnmower and discover Mr. Harkness, the repairman, is involved in the neighborhood loan approval process.
• It emerges that two lawnmowers are in question—one already repaired after Junior supposedly brought it in six weeks ago. Oliver ends up paying $13 for the repairs.
• Oliver realizes he might have been swindled and continues to feel persecuted.

Notable Quotes:

• Mr. Harkness: “Only thing left of what you brought me are the washers on the wheels. The rest is a new lawnmower.” (14:11)
• Mr. Harkness: “I don’t care if your name’s Toscanini. Names don’t mean nothing to me. Me, I’m a number man self.” (15:36)

6. Resolution & Neighborly Reconciliation (16:42 – 26:55)

• Oliver storms over to the Briggs’ to return both lawnmowers and facetiously demands compensation.
• Freebairn Briggs hints at finally standing up to his domineering wife, promising to approve Oliver’s loan.
• Mrs. Briggs later arrives, overjoyed that her husband finally asserted himself during an exaggerated domestic tussle—both appear happier for it.
• The story ends with both families (mostly) reconciled and the bank loan for home improvements finally approved.
• Junior reveals the “ruined” mower was a cheap, unrelated one, and Oliver learns he’s been the victim of his own hasty assumptions.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Scenes:

• Freebairn Briggs: “I shall forever free myself of those shackles!” (18:04)
• Mrs. Freebairn Briggs (ecstatic): “It’s a wonderful feeling, Mr. Anderson, to know the true meaning of love.” (21:23)
• Freebairn Briggs (as patient): “I’m a free man!” (25:19)
• Junior Anderson (teasing): “You got taken in on that, Pop.” (26:31)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:32 – Scene begins with the Andersons accused of negligence over the lawnmower
• 02:00 – Oliver finishes his loan letter; family critique and banter
• 04:53 – Briggs family confronts Oliver about the lawnmower
• 10:09 – Oliver blames Junior and receives news about the loan denial
• 13:34 – The confusion at the fix-it shop; two lawnmowers surface
• 16:42 – Oliver returns the mower and confronts Briggs
• 18:04 – Freebairn vows independence; alliance with Oliver
• 21:23 – Mrs. Briggs’ “ecstatic” conversion and reconciliation
• 25:19 – Hospital bed scene with Freebairn Briggs pronouncing himself “a free man”
• 26:01 – Junior reveals the true lawnmower identity and Oliver’s comic error

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Episode Tone and Highlights

• Tone: Snappy, sarcastic, and delightfully melodramatic, true to the style of sitcoms from the Golden Age of Radio.
• Memorable Moments:
  • The escalating accusations over a rusted lawnmower spiked with ridiculous neighborly feuds.
  • Freebairn Briggs' late-in-life rebellion against his domineering wife (“I shall forever free myself!”).
  • The comic hospital reconciliation scene, ending in a classic sitcom twist where all misunderstandings are humorously resolved.

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Final Thoughts

The underlying message is one of neighborly misunderstanding, the dangers of procrastination and assumption, and the comic resilience of suburban family life. The episode delivers quick-paced humor, exaggerated characters, and a slice-of-life charm that’s as entertaining now as it was in the original era.

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Transcript

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson]

And, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Liberty Mutual Friend]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Oh, no.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson]

We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual Together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Liberty Mutual Friend]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Liberty Mutual Friend]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Narrator]

The Anderson family.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

You can't blame me for wanting my dues. Mr. Anderson, in good faith, I loaned

[Oliver Anderson]

you our lawnmower and I'll return it in good faith.

[Mary Anderson]

I'm sure there must be some misunderstanding.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

If there's one thing I admire in a man, it's integrity.

[Freebairn Briggs]

I admire honesty.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Quiet, Free Baron Reburn. That's enough.

[Mary Anderson]

I'll tear his collar off.

[Oliver Anderson]

Look, I'll return your lawnmower. I don't want to hear any more about it.

[Junior Anderson]

Oh, here we go again, folks.

[Narrator]

And now let's visit the Anderson family. This whole thing started when Oliver Anderson borrowed a Lawn Mower about six weeks ago from Mr. And Mrs. Freebairon Briggs, neighbors across the street. However, all thoughts of having borrowed it had disappeared from Oliver Anderson's mind. For the important thing at this Moment is borrowing $2,500 from a new bank in town. Oliver wants to improve his property and must make application by letter to the board of directors of the Loan Institution. He has just finished writing the letter.

[Oliver Anderson]

All finished. If this letter doesn't get some action from that board of directors, I'll quit.

[Mary Anderson]

Let's read it.

[Oliver Anderson]

You mean, let's tear it to pieces. There's nothing wrong with it. It's a straightforward, honest letter.

[Junior Anderson]

That's what counts in getting money from a bank. Honesty.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, yeah. Well, I'll still get it.

[Mary Anderson]

Oliver Jr. Didn't mean anything by that.

[Junior Anderson]

Oh, of course, it's a lot in who you know too, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

That's right. Well, I know Connors and Bingham. There are a couple of new directors. I don't know who they are.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, I'm sure this letter will do the trick. You took long enough to write it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Just an hour is all.

[Junior Anderson]

You write a pretty good hand, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yes, I do, don't I?

[Junior Anderson]

And your paragraphs are neat.

[Oliver Anderson]

Thanks. Just that I retained my schooling.

[Junior Anderson]

I guess you can't be too careful on a letter like this.

[Oliver Anderson]

That's right. I'm glad you take such interest in things like this, Junior.

[Junior Anderson]

Yeah, but I Don't think it's a good idea to head it with. For heaven's sakes, men, don't turn this down.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

I need it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Let me have that letter. It's no concern of yours what I put in it.

[Junior Anderson]

And there are two P's in application, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

I know of it. I know how many Do I have one. No wonder. With everyone talking and playing the radio, it's a wonder I have the address, right?

[Mary Anderson]

No, no, let's relax. Let's have a nice quiet evening. I'll type it neatly for you, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

After a while, I think Patrick and letters get more action. Anyhow, you have a good idea there, but you'd better stick pretty closely to what I have there.

[Mary Anderson]

What did Mr. Connors say when you mentioned the loan to him?

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, he said it was okay with him and so did Bingham. It's up to the other two directors.

[Mary Anderson]

Maybe you'd better find out who they are.

[Oliver Anderson]

That's not important. Connors and Binghams can swing them.

[Junior Anderson]

Hey, did you tell Pop about your being chairman on the flower planting drive, Mom?

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, that's not important, Junior.

[Oliver Anderson]

Of course it is. Who elected you?

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, well, Mrs. Briggs across the street suggested me. She carries quite a bit of weight with the girls.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yes, I noticed. She could lose about 100 pounds of the weight she carries.

[Mary Anderson]

Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

Excuse me. I just don't like that woman.

[Junior Anderson]

She's always been swell to me.

[Oliver Anderson]

I still don't like her or that weak kneed husband of hers. He can't cut their grass without her permission.

[Mary Anderson]

But they're very happy, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

Certainly. I've seen dogs and cats feeding together, but it's only because they had to.

[Junior Anderson]

And they just got their new car, too.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, did they? What color?

[Junior Anderson]

Black. They just drove home a few minutes ago. Mrs. Briggs was in the backseat.

[Oliver Anderson]

I'll bet it's equipped with radar from the back seat.

[Mary Anderson]

Ah, now, that's no way to talk, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, she burns me old Homer Meister. $10 for three months for that cement job and didn't even return his mixer. I don't like people like that.

[Junior Anderson]

Well, Mr. Briggs seems like a nice fellow, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

Of course he is. But she won't let him be himself. I wonder if she did, what kind of a fellow he'd be.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, dear, Happy. That's what counts. As I said before.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, you mean she's happy. I don't think Freeband Briggs has been out after dark for years.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, you and Junior continue this uninteresting conversation. I'm going to the store.

[Junior Anderson]

Get some of those Chocolate cookies for my lunch, Mom.

[Mary Anderson]

If they have them, I will just

[Oliver Anderson]

look under his counter.

[Junior Anderson]

Uh oh, here comes the Briggs family. Pop, I have nothing I want to discuss with them.

[Oliver Anderson]

Now wait a minute. Can't understand why everyone leaves. Okay, I hear you. Oh, hello, Mrs. Briggs. Who's behind you? Oh, it's Freeband. Well, come on in.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Thank you, Mr. Anderson.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Thank you.

[Oliver Anderson]

Gee, got a haircut, didn't you, Freebank?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

We didn't come here to discuss personal appearances.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, well, then come on in here where we can be comfortable.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Take off your hat, Free Baron. And get that wad of chewing gum out of your mouth.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Yes, dear.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, it's mighty nice of you folks to drop in. Mm. You've lost some weight, haven't you, Millicent?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

That is of no consequence, Mr. Anderson. Please don't fawn all over us. Our trip is very unpleasant.

[Oliver Anderson]

Unpleasant?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Yes. Freebairn wanted to come over alone, but I know his vicious temper, so I decided to take the cat by the horns.

[Oliver Anderson]

Cat ball.

[Freebairn Briggs]

No, this is the truth, Anderson.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Quiet, Free Baron. Now, Mr. Anderson, when you asked to use our lawnmower a couple of months ago, I said yes.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, yes, you did, and I.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Now, I didn't ask you for references nor a deposit.

[Oliver Anderson]

You mean Junior has borrowed it lately?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

You borrowed it, Mr. Anderson.

[Oliver Anderson]

Me?

[Freebairn Briggs]

You borrowed the lawnmower, Anderson.

[Oliver Anderson]

I believe I did.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

And I didn't say a word when you pried the lock off the shed to get it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, yeah, well, I remember you weren't home and I.

[Freebairn Briggs]

No, you. You broke the lock off.

[Oliver Anderson]

I did? Well, gee, I'm. I'm sorry. I'll buy you another lock. I suppose I should have done something about this before now.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

If there's one thing I cannot stand in a man, it's procrastination.

[Oliver Anderson]

I can see that. But I thought I had taken your lawnmower back or had Junior do it.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

If you'd have had Junior do it, it would have been done. If there's one boy in the neighborhood who is dependable, that boy is. Junior must take after his mother's side of the family.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, yes. Marries a lot that way. Of course. And I'll agree that sometimes things do slip my mind. And possibly the lawnmower was left out in the garage.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

It had better be out there, Mr. Anderson.

[Oliver Anderson]

How's that?

[Freebairn Briggs]

It had better be, she said.

[Oliver Anderson]

Don't walk on that side, Mrs. Briggs. It's all planted.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

My, my. This place used to be so beautiful before you people bought it.

[Freebairn Briggs]

And look at it now.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Free Baron. Now, now, Control yourself.

[Oliver Anderson]

Now, let's see. Lawnmower. Lawnmower.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Over there beside the bush.

[Oliver Anderson]

Isn't that it?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

You mean it's been outdoors rusting all this time?

[Oliver Anderson]

I wonder if this is yours.

[Freebairn Briggs]

It has two wheels and a handle. Must be.

[Oliver Anderson]

They all have two wheels.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

For heaven's sake. Free Baron. It is our lawnmower. Just look at that.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Go ahead, Anderson, look at it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, there isn't much wrong with it,

[Junior Anderson]

but it's all rusted.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

That wheel is half off. And look at the handle.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Go ahead, Anderson, look at that handle.

[Oliver Anderson]

See? Well, I guess you're right. But I don't understand why Junior didn't put it in out of the weather.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

And this wheel, it's broken.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Go ahead, look at it.

[Mary Anderson]

The wheel.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yes, I see. But that can be fixed.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Either fixed as it was or a new one.

[Oliver Anderson]

How's that?

[Freebairn Briggs]

Bake ity do it, darling.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh no you don't. Not a new one. I'll fix this one and it'll be returned in good shape. Mrs.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Brake, how possibly you think neighbors. Ah, me, One never really knows their neighbors. If it hadn't been for this lawnmower, I might have gone on thinking you people were all right.

[Oliver Anderson]

Now wait a minute, Lady Mountain Dean. I pay for my mistakes and my son's mistakes. I'll send it to the fixit shop and it'll be returned like new.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

You know, Mr. Anderson, as hard as I try, I don't think I'm ever going to like you.

[Oliver Anderson]

The feeling is somewhat more than mutual, Mrs. Briggs. Ordinarily I'm a very courteous fellow, but I don't like to be abused.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Oh, Anderson, those are fighting words.

[Oliver Anderson]

I meant them to be fighting words.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

No, no, Freebairn. Don't strike Mr. Anderson. No need of your facing a manslaughter charge.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Oh, that's his eyebrow.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Freebair. No, no.

[Freebairn Briggs]

I will tear off his collar.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Freebair.

[Mary Anderson]

No.

[Freebairn Briggs]

I'll pull his hair out.

[Oliver Anderson]

Getting ridiculous. And if I thought you could get a price on getting his face fixed along with the lawnmower, I'd shut him up for you.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Threatened street freebear.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, come now, Mrs. Briggs, this is silly.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

No, it's not. I don't enjoy this. I only want what's right.

[Freebairn Briggs]

She only wants what's right.

[Oliver Anderson]

But I'm willing to return the lawnmower, Mrs. Briggs.

[Freebairn Briggs]

But you certainly take your tide about it.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

There's one thing I admire in a man, it's integrity.

[Freebairn Briggs]

I admire your honesty.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Quiet, Free Baron. Well, I'll leave you with your conscience Mr. Anderson. And I expect the lawnmower returned in the same condition as when you broke into the shed and stole it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Stole it?

[Freebairn Briggs]

You stole it, she said.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, come now, Mrs. Briggs.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

I don't want to hear another word. Come, freebairn.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, Mary will be terribly Sorry about this, Mrs. Briggs.

[Junior Anderson]

I'm upset, too.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

But Mary stuck with you. I'm not.

[Mary Anderson]

I don't see why you keep blaming Junior for the lawnmower being broken and rusted.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oliver, I may have borrowed it, but he's seen that lawnmower 50 times in the backyard. Why didn't he put it away? He isn't too young to be careful of things.

[Mary Anderson]

But, Oliver, he didn't borrow.

[Oliver Anderson]

That isn't the point, Junior.

[Junior Anderson]

Yeah, Mom?

[Oliver Anderson]

Come here a minute.

[Junior Anderson]

Butch Chapman's waiting for me. Can it wait?

[Oliver Anderson]

It cannot. Well, Butch, you aren't coming back out this evening and then. Come here a minute.

[Junior Anderson]

I don't get it, but okay.

[Mary Anderson]

That's hardly fair, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

The only way. Mary.

[Junior Anderson]

Hey, I can't come out now, Butch. See you tomorrow.

[Mary Anderson]

Could have waited until later, Oliver.

[Junior Anderson]

What's wrong? Why can't I go out?

[Mary Anderson]

Your father wants to talk to you.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah, Junior, you remember we borrowed the Briggs lawnmower a few weeks ago?

[Junior Anderson]

We? You did, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

Who borrowed it is not important. The lawnmower was left out of the backyard to rust and break.

[Junior Anderson]

Rust and break. Not the Briggs lawn mower.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, yes, it was. Now, just to show you that life isn't a bowl of prunes.

[Mary Anderson]

Cherries, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

All right, cherries. You're going to pay the cost of putting that lawnmower in shape.

[Junior Anderson]

Aw, gee, Pop, let me explain what you're doing.

[Oliver Anderson]

There's nothing to explain. You know what it's all about.

[Mary Anderson]

But maybe he wants to say something, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yes, I know, but that still stands. You pay the bill and maybe it'll break you of being careless.

[Junior Anderson]

But if you'd let me explain to you.

[Oliver Anderson]

There's nothing to explain, Junior. I've taken the lawnmower to the fix it shop, and the bill is $11.12.

[Junior Anderson]

You shouldn't have taken it to the shop.

[Mary Anderson]

No.

[Oliver Anderson]

You're going to tell me how to run my life.

[Mary Anderson]

No, he isn't, Oliver. He's just trying to out talk me.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yes, I know. So go ahead now. Go do your homework and then go to bed.

[Junior Anderson]

Okay, but if you just let me say one thing.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Never mind now, darling.

[Mary Anderson]

I'll be up and tuck you in.

[Junior Anderson]

Okay. Guess I'm out. Voted again.

[Mary Anderson]

He was trying to tell you something all Right.

[Oliver Anderson]

He wanted to tell me where I was wrong. He doesn't realize yet that older people learn through experience. And that's fine what he's doing.

[Mary Anderson]

I'll get it, Oliver. Maybe Mrs. Meister.

[Junior Anderson]

Yes. Yes, he is, Mr. Bingham.

[Mary Anderson]

Just a moment.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, Mr. Bingham, the bank director. Good. Let's have him.

[Mary Anderson]

Yeah. Doesn't sound cheerful to me.

[Oliver Anderson]

Come on, Bingham. How's everything? Making what top of myself. Briggs. Oh, that's phony. Why, just I just. The new director.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, Frank, the new director.

[Oliver Anderson]

But there isn't any place else I can apply for the loan. Yeah. Yes, I know you're for it, but. Oh, no go, huh? Okay, Bingham. Thanks anyhow. So long.

[Mary Anderson]

No go, huh?

[Oliver Anderson]

No go. Briggs is going to stop it. The shrimp. But I'll get around that baby yet. When I take his lawnmower back, I'll have it out with him and his baby hippopotamus, too.

[Narrator]

And now back to the Anderson family. Oliver has just been turned down at the bank on a loan he hoped to make. The deal soured when he had a little trouble with a neighbor, Mr. Briggs, over the return of a lawnmower Oliver had borrowed and apparently forgot to return, only to find that Mr. Briggs is the new director of the bank. Hoping to smooth over the situation, Oliver and Mary Anderson are just entering the fixit shop to pick up the lawnmower which Oliver had repaired.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, that looks like the lawnmower, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

How can you tell? They all look alike to me.

[Mary Anderson]

Here comes the man now.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Howdy, folks. Can I do something for you?

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh. Oh. Oh, Mr. Harkness, is my lawnmower ready? It's for Oliver Anderson.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Anderson. Anderson. Name don't mean nothing to me. I go by numbers. Got your stub?

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh. Oh, sure. 33B.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

33B. Oh, yes. Sitting right over here. And I might add. You know, I've been repairing mowers for better than 30 years, and I never saw one so bent up as that one was.

[Freebairn Briggs]

But you were able to fix it?

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Well, yes, I did. The only thing left of what you brought me is the washers on the wheels. The rest is new lawnmower.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, maybe you shouldn't have done such a good job.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

You said fitz her up.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, yes, I did.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Where you live?

[Mary Anderson]

13 Beacon Road.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Oh, is that so? See, that's right close to Briggs house, ain't it?

[Mary Anderson]

Right across the street, yes.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Well, now, I hate to ask you this, but as long as you're near, so close, you're driving, ain't you?

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, yeah.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Well, I wonder if you'd just drop off Briggs lawnmower at the same time.

[Mary Anderson]

Why, this one here is Briggs lawnmower.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Yeah, must have two of them there. He brung it in about six weeks ago. Had the young boy with him. Boy? Said his father broken a blade running over stones and paid for repairs himself. The kid? The boy did, six weeks ago? Yep, yep, he was sure neat fool. Wanted run a nice mower over stones. Don't deserve anything from nobody.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, there must be some mistake here, Mr. Harkness.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Well, all I want's $13 for fixing it and you can work out the rest of the deal with Briggs.

[Oliver Anderson]

$13? You said it to be $11.12.

[Freebairn Briggs]

All of them.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Well, I'm charging you $2 for the doctor.

[Mary Anderson]

The doctor?

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Y the doctor. See, a piece of that rust broke off, went in my eye and my head's about spitting open.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, of course you have my sympathy, but I still think I'm getting gypped.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

It's a $13.

[Oliver Anderson]

I know, but you've done work for me before. Anderson is the name.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

I don't care if your name's Tuscanini. Names don't mean nothing to me. Me, I'm a number man self.

[Mary Anderson]

Oliver, let's just take the lawnmower.

[Oliver Anderson]

Sure, we'll take them, but I don't want this other one. Now, if it isn't Briggs, just So

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

I get $13 all I care.

[Oliver Anderson]

But $13 is a lot of money. I can get a new one for that.

[Mary Anderson]

The bill is $13, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah, I know that, but it's a hold up. Money isn't growing around on trees.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

You brung the land more in, didn't you? Well, yes. Then it's $13.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, let's pay the man, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

Sure, sure, I'll pay him. I'll pay him. It's an obligation. I'll pay it, of course.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Well, Well, I don't like the way you talk, fell.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, let's not go over my bad points now. I'll just pay it and keep still, I guess. And another thing, I'll be very happy to deliver this lawnmower to Briggs. Briggs. Hey, Freeman. Hey, Freeman.

[Freebairn Briggs]

I have nothing to discuss with you.

[Oliver Anderson]

Anderson, I have your lawnmower here.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Unload it and go on.

[Oliver Anderson]

Okay, I'll throw it in this flower bed.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Don't you dare.

[Junior Anderson]

Where is it?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Free Baron?

[Freebairn Briggs]

It's Anderson with the lawnmower.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Well, of all things Freebairn. I want you to go out there and thrash him within an inch of his life.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Yes, dear, if you aren't gone in 30 minutes. I should come out and thrash you, Anderson.

[Oliver Anderson]

Now look here, Briggs.

[Freebairn Briggs]

She just left. I'll be raced out.

[Oliver Anderson]

I don't get this thrashing business free, Baron.

[Freebairn Briggs]

I just say the things to please the little woman.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah. Sometimes someone is going to. Isn't going to know that. And the little woman is going to be alone.

[Freebairn Briggs]

You may be right, Anderson. Is this a rod, boy?

[Oliver Anderson]

It's both of them. Both your own. That you took in six weeks ago to the Fix it shop. And the one I took in. You owe me $13.

[Junior Anderson]

I do?

[Oliver Anderson]

How? Because you claimed this other mower was yours when it was mine. It caused me anguish, loss of time and mental worry. Altogether, the civil suit comes to 5,000.

[Freebairn Briggs]

If I take it to court, I won't pay it.

[Oliver Anderson]

I won't charge you that much, though. I'm not that type of a person, freebairn. I'm a nice fellow.

[Freebairn Briggs]

I'm a rat.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, now, come, freebair. And I understand. It's the influence you're under is all.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Yes, you're right. It's Baby. Baby, my wife. I shall forever free myself of those shackles.

[Oliver Anderson]

Now you're talking like a man. I admire you.

[Freebairn Briggs]

I shall have it out with her immediately.

[Oliver Anderson]

Just let her know your boss. Boy, it feels great.

[Freebairn Briggs]

You've changed my whole life, Anderson.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, I did the right things for you. Now I expect you to be a man. An okay mile loan at the bank.

[Freebairn Briggs]

I shall do it immediately. I'm a do bad.

[Oliver Anderson]

Gee, that's swell. Connor and Bingham have okayed it. Now you, you.

[Freebairn Briggs]

You just have one more hurdle to take.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, yeah? Who's the other one?

[Freebairn Briggs]

Mr. Harkness at the Fix it shop.

[Oliver Anderson]

Harkness? I. I just left there.

[Freebairn Briggs]

And you probably made him hate you. However, I shall arrange it right now. As soon as I go to the house and start my due life.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, you'd better be diplomatic. She's an egomaniac.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Egobaniac?

[Oliver Anderson]

Mm,

[Freebairn Briggs]

egobadiac. That's a splendid word. I haven't used that. I'm a new man, Anderson.

[Mary Anderson]

From today, I am a bad. But, Oliver, it was none of your affair. Their home life is their own business.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, he won't do anything about it. He was weakening as he went up the steps into the house.

[Mary Anderson]

But he did say he'd sign for your loan.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, sure. He was wrong all along and he knew it.

[Mary Anderson]

Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

Huh?

[Mary Anderson]

Coming up the walk.

[Oliver Anderson]

What?

[Mary Anderson]

Mrs. Briggs.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, you talk to her first, Mary.

[Mary Anderson]

I'll do no such thing. Don't even tell her I'm home. You got into this. Now get out of it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Doesn't ring like she's burning.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson]

And, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[Liberty Mutual Friend]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Oh, no.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson]

We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Liberty Mutual Friend]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league anyways.

[Liberty Mutual Spokesperson]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty.

[Liberty Mutual Friend]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Jerry (Dog)]

A dog's love letter to his squeaky avocado.

Dearest Squeaky Avocado, my heart yearns to chew thee. Alas, I've devoured a small action figure and a have taken ill, unable to partake in our jubilant squeakings. Worry not, as I am on the mend and Lemonade pet insurance covered 90% of the veterinarian's cost. I recommend all the cats and dogs of the land. Get a'@lemonade.com pet soon my tummy will be unburdened and we shall frolic once more. Yours, Jerry.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Oh, Mr. Anderson. I just wanted to tell you the news.

[Oliver Anderson]

Come on in. Don't tell it to the whole street.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

You know, somehow I don't mind your ignorance. I'm so happy I could just cry. Where's Mary?

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, frankly, I don't know what's wrong that you'd be happy.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

It's Freebairn.

[Oliver Anderson]

Freebairn? He's made you happy.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

I'm so happy. I'm sorry I berated you over that lawnmower. Oh, it's a wonderful feeling, Mr. Anderson, to know the true meaning of love. I don't suppose you understand how I feel.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, frankly, I don't get it.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

For the world has opened new vistas, Mr. Anderson. The clouds of distrust have opened up and the sunshine of true devotion is just oozing through.

[Oliver Anderson]

You mean free bears?

[Freebairn Briggs]

Ah, yes.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Bless his little weak heart.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh. Oh. Oh. Well, what happened?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

It all happened so suddenly, I don't know myself. It was right after you left our house. Freebairn stomped into the house, and he only stomps when he's angry.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah, well, go on from the stomp.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Well, I was seated in the living room, and when Freebairn came in, I knew something was wrong.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah, I realized that too.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Freebairn walked straight up to me, shook his finger under my nose and said, you're an egomaniac.

[Oliver Anderson]

Egomaniac.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

I don't know where he ever picked up such a word. Probably from some of his tramp friends.

[Oliver Anderson]

Let's leave his friend out of this. Did he pop you, Free?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Baron doesn't ever pop me.

[Oliver Anderson]

But he did frighten you, huh?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Well, yes, at first, but I regained my composure. Well, I placed my fingers carelessly around his throat.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, no, no.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

I had no intentions of squeezing so hard at first. And during the scuffle, his right fist hit me behind the ear.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, then he didn't muff it.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

I didn't hear you.

[Oliver Anderson]

Never mind. Go ahead. Then what happened?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Why, I believe you actually enjoy this.

[Oliver Anderson]

Don't be silly.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Well, then his left hand became free somehow, and he struck me under the chin.

[Oliver Anderson]

Which one?

[Mary Anderson]

Both of them.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Oh, don't be crude, Mr. Anderson.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, good old Freeman. Game to the end, huh?

[Freebairn Briggs]

Ah, yes.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

It was then my new love was born. I realized at long last he really loved me enough to swing on me.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well. Well, I'm glad it turned out all right. Tell Free Bear I'd like to see him.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Oh, he wants to see you too. And I know he'd like to see Mary.

[Oliver Anderson]

Okay, I'll get Mary and join you in a minute.

[Mary Anderson]

Doctor Smith calls to surgery. Dr. Smith? Hall Surgery.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

It's right down this hall.

[Narrator]

Quiet place in the halls.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

My husband is a patient here.

[Narrator]

Yes, I can see why. Name, please?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Briggs. Mrs. Freebarn G. Briggs.

[Oliver Anderson]

We're just with her, Doc. Really?

[Mary Anderson]

I'll sit over here and wait, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

Okay, Mary. It won't take long, I guess.

[Narrator]

Right this way, please. 32A. Please. Don't stay long.

[Oliver Anderson]

No, no, just a minute.

[Narrator]

You a friend of his?

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, I won't know till I talk to him.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

There you are. Freebie, darling.

[Freebairn Briggs]

Yes, baby?

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Someone to see you.

[Oliver Anderson]

Hi, Freebear. Gee, I'm sorry it turned out this way.

[Freebairn Briggs]

I've a happy bed, Oliver.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

Oh, I'm so happy too, Freeman.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, what happened?

[Freebairn Briggs]

I don't really remember. I remember seeing the fireplace go by. Then the chandeliers went by, the chairs, the couch, a bedroom.

[Oliver Anderson]

A dig.

[Narrator]

You'll have to leave now. He's getting violent again.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh. Oh, yeah, sure.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

I'll see you later. Freeburn, darling.

[Oliver Anderson]

Come. That's long enough.

[Freebairn Briggs]

I'm a free man.

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

I'm a van again. I'm a man. I'm a fan. Will they return Free Baron to me in good condition? Die for dad.

[Narrator]

Oh, come now, Mrs. Briggs. Surely you don't believe in miracles.

[Mary Anderson]

What an ordeal. Poor free Baron.

[Oliver Anderson]

Poor free Baron. He'll never Know a happier moment than when he swung on her?

[Mary Anderson]

Well, it did seem to bring them closer together.

[Oliver Anderson]

Sure, that's what they needed. When you get stuffed up till you can't take it anymore, it helps.

[Mary Anderson]

Does sort of make me happy to see them reconcile that way.

[Narrator]

Why, sure.

[Oliver Anderson]

You see? Now everyone's happy.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, I hope you're right.

[Junior Anderson]

Hi, mom.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, it's Junior.

[Junior Anderson]

Mr. Connors called, Pop. Said the loan was okay.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Okay?

[Oliver Anderson]

Gee, that's swell. Well, what about Harkness, the fix it man?

[Junior Anderson]

Oh, he just okayed it when he found out that Briggs was for it.

[Oliver Anderson]

But he remembered my name, and then I was nasty with it.

[Junior Anderson]

Yeah, I suppose so. I mean, Mr. Connor said Mr. Harkness

[Mrs. Freebairn Briggs]

didn't know you by name.

[Junior Anderson]

Said he only went by numbers.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, isn't that marvelous? We can start to improve the house right away, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah, but I hate to have Harkness get away with that $13 clip on that phony lawnmower.

[Junior Anderson]

You got taken in on that, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

Who did? You did.

[Junior Anderson]

That was an old lawnmower I picked up for 35 cents from Butch Chapman.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, so that's where it came from.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, why did you let me get stuck for the money? Why didn't you tell me it wasn't Briggs?

[Junior Anderson]

I did try to tell you, but you said, get your homework done and go to bed.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, he did try to tell you, Oliver.

[Junior Anderson]

I remember.

[Oliver Anderson]

Now you tell me. It seems that someone could have told me along before this.

[Junior Anderson]

He did, Oliver. He tried to. Oh, here we go again, folks.

[Narrator]

The Anderson Family is written by Howard Swart, directed by Herb Lytton, and features Dick Lane as Oliver, Louise Arthur as Mary, and Walter Tetley as Junior. Others in the cast were Jenny Johnson, George Peroni and Doug Young. Music by Gordon Kibbe. Sound effects by Ray Erlenborn. Your announcer is Ken Peters. The Anderson family is a Hollywood Broadcasters production. Transcribed from Hollywood.

[Oliver Anderson]

Sam,

[Jerry (Dog)]

Every day the world gets a little weirder and a lot more awesome. Cool Stuff Daily takes a look at everything from mining in space to the latest in the fight against cancer to how AI is basically changing everything. It's all the cool stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Join us for Cool Stuff Daily as we take a quick look at science tech and the.

[Oliver Anderson]

Wait, what?

[Jerry (Dog)]

Stories that make you sound way smarter at dinner. Subscribe to Cool Stuff Daily now because the future's happening fast and it's way too fun to miss.

[Oliver Anderson]

This is Mike Borlow of Lexicon Valley. And I'm Bob Garfield.

[Liberty Mutual Spouse]

Are you one of those people who sometimes uses words.

[Oliver Anderson]

Do you communicate or acquire acquire information with, you know, language? Hey, us too. So join us on Lexicon Valley to true over the history, culture and many mysteries of English plus some wise cracks. Find us on one of those apps where people listen to podcasts.