Anderson Family - Cowboy Boots

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Anderson Family - Cowboy Boots

Release Date: April 1, 2026
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Episode Focus: Radio play — The Anderson Family in “Cowboy Boots”

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Overview

This episode features a charming and comedic slice-of-life story from the golden age of radio, focusing on a typical day in the Anderson household sparked by Oliver Anderson's decision to buy a pair of expensive cowboy boots for an upcoming mountain vacation. What begins as a simple family squabble over practicality, cost, and necessity quickly escalates into misunderstandings, neighborly gossip, and near-domestic disaster, all laced with humor and the warmth of classic radio family dynamics.

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Key Discussion Points and Storyline

1. The Cowboy Boots and the Family Vacation (00:40–04:51)

• Mary Anderson questions Oliver’s need to purchase cowboy boots for the mountains, sparking debate over practicality.
• Oliver insists the boots are a safety precaution against snakes and “first class” mountain wear.
  • “You have to wear them, Mary. If a snake strikes you, he hits the boot instead of your leg.” — Oliver (00:43)
• Junior wants boots, too, but Oliver deems them too expensive for a child.
• The discussion spirals into vacation planning—Oliver prefers the mountains over the crowded beach, to which Mary responds with skepticism and sarcasm.

2. Family Preparations and Squabbles (01:55–06:06)

• Oliver continues to accumulate gear: a tent, accessories, and the controversial boots.
• Junior strikes a deal with a friend, Butch Chapman, to borrow a fishing reel—inviting him along, much to Oliver’s exasperation.
• Putting on the boots becomes a family event, with a comedic struggle as Oliver tries (and fails) to get comfortable.
  • “I will, as soon as my feet stop burning. They are a little snug, Mary. I guess they need breaking in.” — Oliver (05:51)

3. Neighborly Interference and Small-Town Gossip (06:07–12:50)

• Neighbor Homer Meister drops by, seeking Vaseline for his hair but refuses any taken from the lawnmower.
• Gossip about Mrs. Byers’s impending divorce spreads—Homer lets the secret slip under promises of discretion.
  • “But Martha and me is the only one what knows this Mrs. Byers is getting sued for a divorce.” — Homer Meister (07:00)
• Gertie Gunkle, another neighbor, arrives to collect a contribution but quickly dives into private gossip and criticism, escalating tension with Mary and Oliver.

4. The Boots Take Their Toll: Physical Comedy and Escalating Drama (12:51–15:39)

• Oliver’s attempts to wear the boots grow painful—he's unable to remove them and seeks relief by laying down.
• Conversation about the neighborly feuds and drama continues as Oliver’s discomfort mounts.
• A classic radio comedy scene unfolds as the family attempts (and spectacularly fails) to remove the tight boots, culminating in accidental injury—Mary gets kicked in the eye, causing further distress and misunderstanding.
  • “Oh, you kicked me right in the eye.” — Mary Anderson (15:00)
  • “I didn’t do any such thing.” — Oliver Anderson (15:06)

5. Misunderstandings, Escalation, and Mock Legal Trouble (15:39–24:37)

• Rumors spiral: neighbors and even lawyer “Bird Dog” Bergman get involved, painting Oliver as an unreliable husband.
• Gertie threatens legal action on Mary’s behalf, dragging in a comically overzealous lawyer who pushes for divorce based on the ‘eye-kicking’ incident.
  • “If he kicks you in the eye once, he’ll do it again.” — Bird Dog Bergman, lawyer (23:09)
  • “She can’t do this to me. Now, look here, bird dog…” — Oliver Anderson (24:00)
• Oliver, overwhelmed by the chaos (and immobilized by his boots), tries to defend himself to no avail.

6. The Climax and Comedic Resolution: It Was All a Dream! (24:57–26:09)

• The height of panic snaps back to reality—Oliver is woken up from his nightmare by Mary and Junior, revealing the increasingly absurd events were all a dream.
  • “Oh, brother, am I glad to see you. And, Junior, do you look good.” — Oliver Anderson (25:29)
• As Mary and Junior finally manage to pull off his boots, Oliver (in reality) nearly kicks Mary again, mirroring the dream for a final comedic twist.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Maybe I’d better pick up a few things tomorrow to wear up there.”
  “Pick up what? You just need slacks and you have them and you won’t do much riding.”
  — Mary and Oliver Anderson (02:46)
• “Did you get any directions on how to get into them, dear?”
  — Mary Anderson, ribbing Oliver about his boots (04:53)
• “Well, you can see why she couldn’t stay on now, Pop.”
  — Junior, in the dream sequence (19:36)
• “She’s not going to break up my home when it’s half paid for.”
  — Oliver Anderson, staking his claim (21:31)
• “If he kicks you in the eye once, he’ll do it again!”
  — Bird Dog Bergman, mock-lawyer (23:09)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------|--------------| | Cowboy boots debate begins | 00:40 | | Vacation planning quarrel | 01:55 | | Oliver tries on boots | 05:11 | | Homer Meister and the gossip | 06:07 | | Argument with Gertie Gunkle | 09:47 | | Boots too tight; physical comedy | 12:20–15:07 | | Dream sequence escalates | 16:00–24:00 | | Lawyer Bergman's over-the-top act | 22:23–24:57 | | Wake up: It was all a dream | 25:03 | | Final comic boot incident | 25:57–26:09 |

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Tone & Style

The episode is classic radio comedy—light, witty, family-focused, with a blend of gentle teasing, slapstick, and satirical jabs at small-town life and gossip. Dialogue bounces quickly between characters, and the humor often arises from misunderstandings, character quirks, and the escalation of minor problems into full-blown (yet humorous) crises.

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Conclusion

This “Anderson Family” episode, “Cowboy Boots,” is a quintessential example of Golden Age radio: full of warmth, character-driven humor, and absurdity that resolves with a good-natured twist. From the practical difficulties of ill-fitting cowboy boots to the fast-moving tempest of neighborly gossip and legal threats—all winding up as nothing more than a dream—the story delivers timeless family comedy.

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Transcript

[Alex Kanchowitz]

Get ready to rev those engines. The 2026 Les Schwab Classy Chassis parade and car show is back in East Wenatchee, Washington. Kick things off Friday, May 1st at 6:00pm for the Big parade plus the after party with live music. Then join us on Saturday, May 2nd at 10:00am at the Eastmont Community park for the car show. It's two days of classic cars, food, music and free family fun for everyone. For all the details, visit eastwananchewa.gov we'll see you there.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

The Anderson family.

[Mary Anderson]

I don't see why you have to buy cowboy boots to wear in the mountains, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

You have to wear them, Mary. If a snake strikes you, he hits

[Homer Meister]

the boot instead of your leg.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, what about me, Pop? I need them too, don't I?

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, not necessarily. The records prove that snakes bite more men than children.

[Mary Anderson]

I don't see why Junior can't have a pair of those boots.

[Oliver Anderson]

Because they cost $25 and he'd only wear them once.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, you're going to wear yours to work? Uh oh, here we go again. Folks,

[Bird Dog Bergman]

This whole thing started with the difference of opinion between Oliver and Mary about some cowboy boots Oliver bought for his vacation this year. It's finally been settled that the family will go to the mountains, but only after a struggle. The first thing Mary knew about the decision was when she was driving Oliver home from work this afternoon.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, I bought a tent this afternoon.

[Mary Anderson]

A tent?

[Oliver Anderson]

Sure gets chilly up in those mountains after dark.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, I don't see why we couldn't have just gone to the beach for a week.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

The beach?

[Oliver Anderson]

And get trampled to death? Oh, no. The mountains are the only place left where you can stretch your legs.

[Mary Anderson]

What's in this box?

[Oliver Anderson]

This? Oh, why? The fellow where I. Where I bought the tent showed me a pair of cowboy boots, said I'd need them.

[Mary Anderson]

Need them for what? Roping mountain goats?

[Oliver Anderson]

No, for riding horses. If we pack in.

[Mary Anderson]

I don't know. The more I think of this mountain trip, the less I like it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, you'll love it when you get up there. The clear, cool air.

[Mary Anderson]

What's in this large box?

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, yeah, just a few things. A kerchief and a plaid shirt and a pair of chaps.

[Mary Anderson]

Sounds more like you're entered in a rodeo.

[Oliver Anderson]

Never mind. I'm going first class for once.

[Mary Anderson]

Maybe I'd better pick up a few things tomorrow to wear up there.

[Oliver Anderson]

Pick up what? You just need slacks and you have them and you won't do much riding.

[Mary Anderson]

I'd like to go first class too, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, I see. Now, I'll hear that from now on.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, I didn't want to go in the first place. Now, I don't see any sense in going someplace you don't want to. Is that you, Mom? Yes, Junior. Pop with you?

[Oliver Anderson]

Yep.

[Mary Anderson]

Gee, what's wrong? Speeding again?

[Oliver Anderson]

Oop.

[Mary Anderson]

Did you get the stuff, Pop?

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah, most of it. I couldn't get a reel.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, I fixed that. Butch Chapman has two reels, and he'll let me use one of them. Oh, that's fine. Of course, I had to ask him to go with us to get the reel.

[Oliver Anderson]

What? You mean you invited the Chapman boy to go?

[Mary Anderson]

Why, sure. I needed a reel, so I made a deal.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, you can unmake it. I'm not going to be responsible for anyone else on this trip.

[Mary Anderson]

Of course, you can always go waiting, Junior. Gee, it took me three hours to sell them on the idea, too.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, look, Junior, I hope you see what I need.

[Mary Anderson]

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Gee, Pop, what's in the boxes?

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, just a couple of things I'll need.

[Mary Anderson]

That doesn't include a reel either, Junior.

[Oliver Anderson]

It doesn't include a reel because I can't get one. There. See what it is now.

[Mary Anderson]

Jeepers, Pop. Cowboy boots for me?

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, no. The man only had this one pair.

[Mary Anderson]

You can wear them while your father sleeps, Junior. Aw, gee, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

I bought em because we might run across a snake. And these boots could save me from being bitten.

[Mary Anderson]

A snake wouldn't strike a Junior. I guess it's a known fact, Mary,

[Oliver Anderson]

that more men than children are bitten by snakes. Anyway, I want them for riding.

[Mary Anderson]

What's in this other box?

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, just odds and ends. Odds and ends. See? A kerchief for my neck.

[Mary Anderson]

Red.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, and this flannel shirt. Plaid.

[Mary Anderson]

Kind of corny.

[Oliver Anderson]

Pop, I don't care if it is.

[Mary Anderson]

If those boots are too small for you, can I wear them?

[Oliver Anderson]

Pop, they're not too small.

[Mary Anderson]

Did you get any directions on how to get into them, dear?

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, that's. Hand them to me, Junior.

[Mary Anderson]

Here, Pop. Gee, red tops like a Russian dancer. No cracks while your father gets into them. Junior, how about taking these packages out to the kitchen for me? Aw, Mom. I want to see how Pop comes out.

[Oliver Anderson]

I'll come out all right. Go on. Go ahead.

[Mary Anderson]

Put on the whole outfit, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

I may do just that.

[Mary Anderson]

Here, let me help. Oliver. They won't go on that way.

[Oliver Anderson]

Wow. Who is that?

[Mary Anderson]

Go ahead, put them on. I'll answer the door. Oh, hello, Homer.

[Homer Meister]

Oh, howdy, howdy. Can I. Can I come in?

[Oliver Anderson]

Mary.

[Mary Anderson]

Of course. Oliver's in the front room.

[Homer Meister]

Yeah, yeah. You just saw him drive up.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, Tomer, eh?

[Homer Meister]

Well, what on earth? Me cowboy boots. Well, sir, I remember one time I had snake bites.

[Mary Anderson]

Homer.

[Homer Meister]

Oh, they are, huh? Cowboy boots. Let's see you walk in them.

[Oliver Anderson]

I will, as soon as my feet stop burning. They are a little snug, Mary. I guess they need breaking in.

[Homer Meister]

Yeah, Looks like they need another inch on the end.

[Mary Anderson]

Stand up, Oliver. Let's see how they look.

[Oliver Anderson]

I don't think I can. Maybe they are a bit small, but I can break them in.

[Mary Anderson]

What's on your mind, Homer?

[Homer Meister]

On my mind? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. See, I'm going to a club social this evening and I can't find my hair.

[Oliver Anderson]

Stay.

[Homer Meister]

You got a little Vaseline I could use, Oliver?

[Oliver Anderson]

Why, sure.

[Mary Anderson]

I don't think we have any. Oliver. You packed the lawnmower wheels with it.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

Well.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, then show em where the lawnmower is.

[Homer Meister]

I don't want no Vaseline out of a lawnmower.

[Mary Anderson]

I don't blame you, Homer. How's Martha?

[Homer Meister]

Well, sir, pretty upset. Been talking to Mrs. Byers down the street.

[Oliver Anderson]

You haven't been annoying Mrs. Byers, have you, Homer?

[Homer Meister]

Nope, Nope. Ain't never looked sideways at her. Junior round.

[Mary Anderson]

He's out and back.

[Oliver Anderson]

What is it?

[Homer Meister]

You sure you won't repeat a word of Ixtah? Hey, what are we whispering for?

[Oliver Anderson]

I don't know.

[Homer Meister]

Well, sir. Hey, if this got out, I'd be a dead duck. But Martha and me is the only one what knows this Mrs. Byers is getting sued for a divorce.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, no. She's a lovely woman.

[Homer Meister]

Yep. Yep, that she is, Mary. Nice woman to talk to.

[Oliver Anderson]

I thought you didn't look at her.

[Homer Meister]

We're late. I've been pouring cement at Briggs's for three days now. Ain't been no place.

[Mary Anderson]

Yes, Briggs said you were working for him.

[Oliver Anderson]

Said you took more cement home in your ears than you poured in the form.

[Homer Meister]

Oh, tain't so taint. So no truth in that at all. No, sir. Well. Well, I guess I'll get on back home and just put some water on my hair.

[Oliver Anderson]

Or just keep your cap on all evening. Oh.

[Mary Anderson]

What's wrong, Oliver?

[Oliver Anderson]

These boots are killing me.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, just sit. We'll take them all.

[Homer Meister]

Yes, sir. Ain't nothing worse than a pair of tight shoes. Well, I guess we'll get back home. Martha will think I've been telling you about Mrs. Byers.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, don't worry about our saying anything, Homer.

[Homer Meister]

Oh, I know you won't poor woman feel pretty bad if she thought anyone knew it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Tell me how you come out at the social, Homer.

[Homer Meister]

Yep, yep. Sure will. I'm going alone. Get the idea?

[Mary Anderson]

Homer isn't careful, Martha may decide that Mrs. Byers is a good idea.

[Oliver Anderson]

Homer's too smart for that. Mary, I can't stand another minute of this torture. I have to get these boots off now.

[Mary Anderson]

What did Homer forget?

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, he probably wants to know where the lawnmower is.

[Alex Kanchowitz]

Hi, this is Alex Kanchowitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues, and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts.

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[Mary Anderson]

Oh, Mrs. Gonko, won't you come in and stay but a minute? Mary?

[Oliver Anderson]

Who is it? Mary?

[Mary Anderson]

Mrs. Gonkle.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, hiya, Gertie.

[Mary Anderson]

What's he got to be so happy about? Vacations. Come on in the front room. Hmm. New drape? Oh, new. A couple of weeks ago.

[Homer Meister]

How's Gus?

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, he's all right.

[Oliver Anderson]

Still working.

[Mary Anderson]

He sure is. And am I glad of it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah, I imagine so. It's probably a relief to stay home and not have to drive that bus anymore.

[Mary Anderson]

That's no job for a woman, Oliver. Sit down, Gertie. Well, no, I thought you were alone, so I thought I'd drop in and get your contribution for the flowers. This Year?

[Oliver Anderson]

Does she have to be alone for that?

[Mary Anderson]

Well, no, but there was something else I wanted to mention, but this isn't the time to do it. Oliver, would you go out and see what Julia's doing?

[Oliver Anderson]

I will not. I can't walk.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, Bending the elbow?

[Homer Meister]

Nope.

[Oliver Anderson]

Is it about Mrs. Byers?

[Mary Anderson]

Mrs. Byers? Why, how did you know? How did you? Well, I. Of course, it's very much on the quiet. No one knows about it. I just dropped in to see Martha

[Oliver Anderson]

Meister, and no one knows it but Martha, Homer, Mary, you and myself. And it's early in the day yet.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, it's a good lesson to some of these husbands.

[Oliver Anderson]

I don't get the connection.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, it just goes to show that women don't have to take the things they used to. Bravo, Gertie.

[Homer Meister]

You took it, Gertie.

[Mary Anderson]

That's all right. My folks live 2,000 miles from here. And Gus never does get car fare ahead. I'm no fool. I wonder what Mrs. Byers will do now.

[Oliver Anderson]

Okay, Mary, let Mrs. Byers solve her own problem.

[Mary Anderson]

You know, Oliver, Gus and I were talking last night and we couldn't see what Mary ever saw in you.

[Oliver Anderson]

I didn't know Gus ever got to talk.

[Mary Anderson]

Very funny. Very funny. Oh, come now. Let's not be children. Anything I hate is a flip and smug husband. Why, Gertie, you're joking. No, I'm not, Mary.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, if I bother you so much, why don't you go on your route down the street and explain to the neighbors about Mrs. Byers?

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, Oliver, what you'd expect from me. Mary and I don't have to come here to be insulted.

[Oliver Anderson]

No, you can get that anywhere. And don't bring any more of those turkey raffle cards over here for us to punch with a lucky number home in your own pocketbook.

[Mary Anderson]

That's all I want to hear. Gus will take it up from here. And believe me, you'll be sorry. Oh, come now. You're acting like children. I'm not mad at you, Mary. But Oliver will certainly hear from this. Gus will be over this evening.

[Oliver Anderson]

You mean you let him out after dark? Oliver, let her go. All she ever does is to run people down.

[Mary Anderson]

Now she'll never speak to me again.

[Oliver Anderson]

She'd make you very happy.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

Oh, my feet.

[Mary Anderson]

Why don't you just slip them off, Oliver?

[Oliver Anderson]

Wait three minutes and they'll drop off.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, give up. Make Junior a present of them.

[Oliver Anderson]

Mary, now, don't laugh, but I can't get them off.

[Mary Anderson]

Can't get them off?

[Oliver Anderson]

No, I think my Feet have swollen in them. Oh, brother. Let me lie down a while. I have to get off my feet.

[Mary Anderson]

Maybe I could just pull them off.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, no, no, not now. Wait till they stop throbbing. Let me just lie down for a few minutes. Oh, brother. Doesn't feel good to get off my feet.

[Mary Anderson]

Yes, the rest might do you good. I can't understand why you and Gertie Gunkle always have words.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, she's just a busybody. Mary. There's enough trouble in the world without pedaling it from door to door.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, I'll pull the shade down a bit and let you have a short nap before dinner.

[Homer Meister]

So swell.

[Mary Anderson]

There. Now just put your feet on this pillow.

[Oliver Anderson]

Wait, wait. I'll move them. I hold there. Burning up.

[Mary Anderson]

Mom. Hey, Mom. I just spoke to Mrs. Gunkle and she didn't answer me. Your father's taking a nap. What's wrong? Boots too tight? Oh. Think I'll get him? I wouldn't be surprised. Now, come on out. Be quiet. Let your father sleep.

[Homer Meister]

I feel I'm going to kill.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

You. And now back to the Anderson family. Oliver bought some very beautiful and expensive cowboy boots for a vacation trip into the mountains. It seems that he got the boots to fit just a little too soon. And on Mary's advice, and after much struggling, including a heated argument with Gertie Gunkle Oliver has sought his cot for respite and refuge in a short nap. He has just fallen asleep.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, my feet. I gotta get these boots off.

[Mary Anderson]

Just sit on this chair, Oliver. I'll pull them off.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, hurry up. Get a razor blade. Get the scissors. Cut them off.

[Mary Anderson]

No, just hold still. I'll yank this boot off first.

[Oliver Anderson]

Okay, pull.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, hang on now.

[Oliver Anderson]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Mary Anderson]

Stop.

[Homer Meister]

Oh.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, Oliver, I'm so sorry.

[Oliver Anderson]

I told you to stop. Let me get a hold of this door. Now, you pull and I'll kick.

[Mary Anderson]

Okay. Got hold?

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah. Yank while I kick.

[Mary Anderson]

Kick. Pull. Oh, you kicked me right in the eye. I do? You little brute. I saw you, kicker.

[Oliver Anderson]

Where?

[Mary Anderson]

In the eye.

[Oliver Anderson]

I didn't do any such thing. I just.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, my eyes. You scoundrel. Huh? You should be in jail. Mary, don't you stay with this person another minute.

[Oliver Anderson]

But, Gertie, you know I, I I didn't mean it.

[Mary Anderson]

I know. Come on, Mary. I'll send you my lawyer. We'll see if you have to stand for being kicked around.

[Homer Meister]

Yep. Yep. What is it?

[Oliver Anderson]

It's me, Oliver. I was just walking around, thought I'd stop in.

[Homer Meister]

Well, get in quick before anybody sees you.

[Oliver Anderson]

Before anyone sees me? I. I don't get it, Homer.

[Homer Meister]

How is Mary?

[Oliver Anderson]

Mary? Oh, oh, that.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

Oh, she's fine.

[Oliver Anderson]

Fine. Things like that never bother her.

[Homer Meister]

You mean she's used to being kicked around? Huh?

[Oliver Anderson]

Kicked around?

[Homer Meister]

Look, Oliver, I'm your friend and I always thought you was a pretty nice fella.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, thanks, Homer.

[Homer Meister]

I just stood up to a band of wildcats there to said one word again you. But Gertie seen it with her own eyes.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, ho, ho. So that's it.

[Homer Meister]

Yep, yep. Me and Marthy's talked it over. And Marthy's a good woman. She was. Homer wouldn't dare let you in the house.

[Oliver Anderson]

But Homer, you know me well enough to know I wouldn't do a thing like that on purpose.

[Homer Meister]

No, you wouldn't, eh?

[Oliver Anderson]

No.

[Homer Meister]

Well, of course, sometimes fella kind of loses his head and for he noted he'd done something terrible.

[Oliver Anderson]

But I don't think it was terrible. I was just.

[Homer Meister]

Yep, yep, yep. I know, Oliver. We're entitled her own opinion on them things. Why, the same thing happened when Marty and me was first married.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, that's not go back that far.

[Homer Meister]

She took $11. I've been a saving for a corn seller.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, now, that's different. There was money involved.

[Homer Meister]

No, it don't make no difference. Money or no money, she tucked that $11 and bought herself a new fall outfit with high button shoes, hat, gloves, dress coat, a petticoat for $11. That's when a dollar was tough to get, son. Well, sir, when she walked into the house with the paraphernalia on and kind of leered me under her cheap veil hanging over her left eye. Golly. I was waiting for her.

[Oliver Anderson]

What happened?

[Homer Meister]

I walked up to her and jerked her hat off her head and pulled back my fist.

[Oliver Anderson]

And hit her?

[Homer Meister]

Well, no, no, she swung first. Oh, but it just goes to show that a man ain't always to blame. Won't breathe it to her soul. Listen, Marthy. Marthy. Coming up the steps.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah.

[Homer Meister]

Come on, quick, out the back way.

[Oliver Anderson]

Gee, I feel like a criminal.

[Homer Meister]

Come on now. Hurry now. I'll see you tomorrow sometime after dark. Now get. Good evening, Briggs.

[Oliver Anderson]

Lovely evening.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, Anderson.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah?

[Mary Anderson]

Is Mary Hope in the hospital yet?

[Oliver Anderson]

Hospital? Has she been in one? Don't you know or don't you care? Of course I care. Oh, I presume you're speaking of Mary's eye. Why?

[Mary Anderson]

Was something else.

[Oliver Anderson]

Kit, now look, I don't know who told you about this, but it.

[Mary Anderson]

Listen, don't grab me by the shoulder. I don't have to take it from you, baby will certainly see to it that you don't maul me around.

[Oliver Anderson]

I'm not mauling you. I just want you to. Wait a minute.

[Homer Meister]

Don't think you can go kicking people

[Mary Anderson]

in the eye or choking.

[Oliver Anderson]

Babe, I wasn't choking you. I merely touched your shoulder.

[Mary Anderson]

Yes, but it's a short distance from

[Homer Meister]

my shoulder to my throat.

[Mary Anderson]

And I've heard all about you.

[Oliver Anderson]

Who is it?

[Mary Anderson]

It's Junior.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, let me alone, son.

[Mary Anderson]

I have to see you, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh. Well, come on in. Sit down, friend.

[Mary Anderson]

No, Papa, I'll stand. I won't be here that long.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh. Going somewhere?

[Mary Anderson]

Not till tomorrow.

[Oliver Anderson]

Tomorrow? Well, where are you going tomorrow?

[Mary Anderson]

Well, it seems I'm going to Grandma's till Mom can get settled someplace.

[Oliver Anderson]

Settled someplace? Well, she always liked it here, didn't she?

[Mary Anderson]

Well, you can see why she couldn't stay on now, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah, I guess so. How is mom?

[Mary Anderson]

Pretty bad. Mrs. Gunkle is nursing her back to normal.

[Homer Meister]

Gunkle?

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh. Oh, how can a person be normal around Gertie Gunkle?

[Mary Anderson]

I just wanted to tell you, Pop, I. I think you're all right.

[Oliver Anderson]

Thanks. I think you're all right too, Junior. I suppose no one took the time to explain it was an accident.

[Mary Anderson]

No one explained anything. But I saw Mom's eye.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh. Well, from what I've heard, I didn't know she still had it.

[Mary Anderson]

Of course, I. I'll see every vacation, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, that's. Well, we'll have so much to talk about.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, I guess I'll go see if I can help mom pack.

[Oliver Anderson]

I don't think it'll do me any good to go down and talk to your mother.

[Mary Anderson]

No, I don't think so. Mom was all right till everyone started phoning. Now she has to do something about it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, you mean Gertie got on her bike again?

[Mary Anderson]

Yeah, looks like it. Well, shake, Pop. We may get together at a later date.

[Oliver Anderson]

Of course, I'll be around somewhere. Now, don't you worry, Junior. Just be a good boy.

[Mary Anderson]

I will. I'll take care of Mom.

[Oliver Anderson]

I'll try to get to see your mother before she leaves.

[Mary Anderson]

I wish you would. I think she still likes you, Pop.

[Homer Meister]

Really?

[Oliver Anderson]

You think she'd.

[Mary Anderson]

But don't get your hopes up. Gertie's taken over.

[Oliver Anderson]

Mary. How long has this been going on?

[Mary Anderson]

Leave that door open, Oliver.

[Oliver Anderson]

Open. Okay.

[Mary Anderson]

Oliver, I hate to do this. You've been so lovely about everything, and we've been so happy. Now you can see. I could never hold my head up again after Gertie Told everyone about this and exaggerated it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Look, Mary, I'm going to see Gertie Gunkle right this.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, no, please. Please, Oliver, please.

[Oliver Anderson]

She's not going to break up my home when it's half paid for.

[Mary Anderson]

But she's sending her lawyer to see me.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, we don't have to talk to him, Mary.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, maybe it's best to just see what happened.

[Oliver Anderson]

Yeah, well, I'll tell Gertie to stay home nights and put as much effort into cooking as she does into gossiping. And Gus will know how it feels to be well fed for once. I'll say to her, listen here, you troublemaker. I'm all through fooling with you. And from now on, look out.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

I heard that, Anderson.

[Mary Anderson]

Huh?

[Bird Dog Bergman]

I heard every word of it.

[Oliver Anderson]

Where'd you come from? How'd you get in?

[Bird Dog Bergman]

The door was open and I heard every word of it. I'm Mr. Gunkle's lawyer of the firm O', Brien, O' Brien and O'. Brien. My name's Bergman. Bird Dog Bergman they call me. Now, Mrs. Anderson, if we could get someplace where it's nice and quiet and private.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, Mr. Bergman, maybe you'd better talk to my husband.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

Yeah, after what I just heard. Not Bergman. I'm not interested in husband.

[Mary Anderson]

Mr. Bergman, this is my husband.

[Oliver Anderson]

Our. I've met him.

[Mary Anderson]

Well, well, well, well.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

So you're Mr. Anderson.

[Homer Meister]

That's right.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

You naughty man.

[Oliver Anderson]

Now, wait a minute. Did Gertie Gunkle send you here?

[Bird Dog Bergman]

That doesn't concern you, Mr. Anderson. I just want the poor young lady to sign a few papers and o'.

[Oliver Anderson]

Brien.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

O' Brien and o' Brien will do the rest.

[Homer Meister]

Papers?

[Oliver Anderson]

Now, wait. I didn't call you.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

It happens that I'm representing the lady in the case. Say, Mrs. Anderson, could we have it sort of private in here?

[Oliver Anderson]

Now, look here. Mrs. Anderson doesn't really want a divorce. And she didn't send for you.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

That's the husband's side of it. And I'm prepared to take this to the highest court in the land.

[Mary Anderson]

But, Mr. Bergman, maybe if we don't.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

Don't let him scare you. Mrs. Anderson, I know how you feel, but always remember this from our long experiences. In cases of this type, we find that once they kick him in the eye, they'll do it again.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, but Oliver didn't kick me on purpose.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

Yes, but we got witnesses who say he did. I tell you, this man's unreliable. Mrs. Anderson, now, I know we all hate to take this step, but why go through a living. Well, even just go through because remember this. If he kicks you in the eye once, he'll do it again.

[Oliver Anderson]

I didn't kick her in.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

Ah, say, pardon me. Leave the room, will you, Sonny? By law, I'm entitled to privacy with my client.

[Oliver Anderson]

But I'm all right. I'm just sitting here.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

That's just what I'm objecting.

[Oliver Anderson]

Now, look, Mary's not going to be bullied into something she doesn't want.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

Now, just a moment, my friend. The courts are full of your kind. Kick him in the eye and try to square it with a pair of ray and stockings. And where does it get the white flat? Just another kick in the eye.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, Mr. Bergman, I don't know what to do. I'm so upset I can't sing. Take it up with Oliver. I can't stand any more of this.

[Oliver Anderson]

She can't do this to me. Now, look here, bird dog, I know you came out here on legitimate business. I don't mind that. I know you're trying to make a living, and I don't mind that. But I do resent your telling Mary I'll kick her in the eye again. Now you have her confused.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

Listen, buddy, I know it's tough. We get these remorseful husbands every day, but they always come through after the bird is flown. Look, why don't you settle a few hundred bucks on her and give her a divorce and start over again?

[Oliver Anderson]

Words don't seem to have any effect on you, bird dog. And if I could stand in these boots for just 10 seconds, I'd run you out that door.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

You mean you can't stand on your feet? Well, well, well, well, that's just fine, because you ain't gonna like this. The little lady's going to get every dime you got. And don't try to come crawling back to her. Cause remember this. Kick him in the eye once and you'll kick him again.

[Oliver Anderson]

Get out of here. Come on, Step. I'll give you three to be out that door.

[Mary Anderson]

Oliver. What a way to talk.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, you're back, huh? Want to see me squirm?

[Mary Anderson]

Quit kicking, Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

And you can take Gertie with you.

[Mary Anderson]

Oliver, wake up. Wake up, Oliver. It's Mary.

[Oliver Anderson]

Mary. Where'd he go?

[Mary Anderson]

Where did who go? Down. Wake him up, Mom. Oliver, wake up. Come on, snap out of it, huh? Oh.

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, it's Mary.

[Mary Anderson]

I've been trying to waken you for five minutes. Pick up those pillows off the floor. What's this bird dog business?

[Oliver Anderson]

Oh, brother, am I glad to see you. And, Junior, do you look good.

[Mary Anderson]

Gee, your dream must have been a dandy. Pop, you wake up so nice and chummy.

[Oliver Anderson]

Well, it wasn't pleasant, I can tell you that. Oh. Oh, my feet. They're getting paralyzed.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, you poor man. Here, hold your foot up. Get hold of the heel, Junior. Mom, you shouldn't talk that way about Pop. Quiet. Quiet, Junior. Now pull.

[Oliver Anderson]

It's moving. Keep pulling. It's moving.

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, my eyes. Pop, you kicked mom in the eye.

[Homer Meister]

Well, do something.

[Oliver Anderson]

Help me pick her up. Mary, is your eye cut?

[Mary Anderson]

Oh, gee. Someone at the door. Pop.

[Oliver Anderson]

At the door. Well, I can't go.

[Mary Anderson]

I can't.

[Oliver Anderson]

Quiet, Mary. Junior, you go at the door and listen.

[Mary Anderson]

What?

[Oliver Anderson]

Bob, if it's Gertie Gunkle or a fella by the name of Bird Dog Goodman, don't let him in.

[Bird Dog Bergman]

The Anderson Family is written by Howard Swart, directed by Herbert Lytton, and featured Richard Lane as Oliver, Louise Arthur as Mary, and Walter Tetley as Junior. Herbert Rawlinson played Homer Meister. Others in the cast were Jenny Johnson and George Peroni. Sound was by Ray Erlenborn. Music by Gordon Kibbe. Your announcer is Doug Young. The Anderson Family is a Hollywood broadcaster's production. Transcribed from Hollywood.

[Alex Kanchowitz]

Hi, this is Alex Canceroitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on air contributor to cnbc. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, in meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast. Wherever you get your podcasts.