
Andrews Sisters - Guest - Abbott and Costello
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Harlow Wilcox
Nash, builder of nash motor cars, Builders of Kelvinator Home Appliances. Nash Galvanator, one of America's great independent companies, welcomes you to the Musical Showroom starring the Andrews Sisters. This is Harlow Wilcox inviting you to the informal opening of the west coast branch of the Showroom with the music of the Andrews Sisters, Kurt Massey, Vic Schoen and his orchestra. And in the Nash Kelvinator green room, tonight's guests, Abbott and Costello. And here are Kurt Massey and the Ambassadors and the Andrews Sisters saying hi to Hollywood with California.
Patty Andrews
There are poets of that mythical kingdom of Arcady But Al and unfortunately they're not up with the time
Kurt Massey
for there isn't a thing in that secondhand kingdom of Arcady that compares with the sun of the sea of that golden strength postmark in us if we boast and
Patty Andrews
we both California where each plum and each croon Is as big as the moon California Where December comes dolled up like May There are boys to attract us there's gold in the cactus so bless the day that we found California or without it there's no USA.
Kurt Massey
In this new El Dorado there's free avocado for everyone and there's none that weighs under a ton in this fabulous
Patty Andrews
climb
Kurt Massey
we have luscious persimmon and ditto women who rival each gladiola, magnolia and peach so we say to each friend who may seek journeys in we commit yellow corn eye where the rain doesn't rain it just drizzles Champagne Yelliforn Eyre
Harlow Wilcox
where romance is the theme of the
Patty Andrews
day From San Pedro to Fresno no maiden there says no when love is nigh Ferengay galifoni the thing is tremendous Titanic, stupendous the ocean is better and
Kurt Massey
bluer and wetter the mountains are higher
Patty Andrews
the deserts it's dryer the boys have
Kurt Massey
more shackles the girls have more freckles
Patty Andrews
California or without it there's no USA. Oh, thank you. Thank you so very, very much, folks. Gee, it's wonderful to be back and
Harlow Wilcox
in behalf of the California Chamber of Commerce in charge of cheering copacetic coral combinations, allow me to remark, quote, that the East Coast's loss is the west coast game. Unquote.
Patty Andrews
It's our boy Wilcox quoting and unquoting.
Harlow Wilcox
And it's your boy Wilcox who says that you and Maxine and Laverne better get right with it. And let us hear an Andrew Sister special. Specifically that eight to the Bar Cantata. The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.
Patty Andrews
He was a famous trumpet man from out Chicago way He had a boogie style that no one else could play he was the top man at his craft but then his number came up and he was gone with the draft he's in the army now no one revelated He's a Pokemon pupil boy from Bunny B they made him blow a bugle for his Uncle Sam it really brought him down because he couldn't jam the cats seem to understand because the next day the cap went out and drafted a band and now the company jumps but he plays reverly He's a boogie, boogie pugil boy of company Being a tootie a tootie a teachy attitude he rose a day to the bar in bogey rhythm he can't blow a note unless a bass and guitar is playing with he makes a company jump when he plays rambly He's a boogie boogie bugle boy A company be he was a boogie boogie bugle boy of Company B and when he plays boogie boogie bugley as a B and when he plays he makes a company jump A to the bar Two goes at eight to the bar he can throw a note of the bees and guitarist with company jumps on eBay He's a boogie boogie bugle he puts her sleep pokey every night and wakes them up the same way in the early pride to clap their hands and stamp their feet Because I know how he plays when someone gets on the beach he really breaks it up when he's my travel He's a. Traveling w give you good boy company
Lou Costello
b. Ah, terrific, kids.
Harlow Wilcox
Terrific. Pick up the marbles. You won that one. Lightly and politely.
Patty Andrews
Oh, thank you, Harlow. And speaking of picking up, it's time we modulated over to the romance department and picked up that moonlight and Roses man, Kurt Massey.
Harlow Wilcox
Well, let's see what we can do. Patty. Kurt, are you available?
Kurt Massey
Why, sure. You know, all Patty has to do is raise her little finger and Massey comes running.
Harlow Wilcox
Raise that finger, Patty. And here comes Kurt Massey on the double with that swell love song. I'll buy that dream.
Kurt Massey
Imagine me with my head on your shoulder and you with your lips getting bolder sky full of moon a sweet melody I by the dream Imagine you in a gown white and flying and me thinking dead for your d Church full of hopes those last minute joke father that dream a honeymoon and Cairo and a brand new Arthur Cairo and home by rocket In a way we'll settle down New Dallas in a little plastic palace it's not as crazy as you think Imagine me on a first anniversary with someone like you in the nursery and if it can be held aboard A dream. A sky full of moon and a sweet mellow too high by the dream Imagine me on our first anniversary with someone like you in the nursery there's a sandbare and if it can be I by that dream we'll be in business.
Bleacher Report Announcer
The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up, March Madness is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about, get real time scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.
Patty Andrews
It's cozy season, and nothing compares to wrapping yourself in a Minky Couture blanket. Luxuriously soft, perfectly warm, thoughtfully made from movie nights to chilly mornings, Minky Couture turns everyday moments into pure comfort. Once you feel it, you'll understand why it's called the original. Best blanket ever. Visit minkycouture.com or a store near you and make this cozy season your softest one yet.
Harlow Wilcox
Now Nash is the news for new Nash cars are rolling off the assembly line every day. One day very soon, you're going to be able to slide behind the wheel of a big, sleek, expensive looking Nash 600. You're going to enjoy new driving thrills and you're going to find out that big as it is, the new Nash 600 parks and steers more effortlessly than you'd ever dream possible. The body and frame of the Nash 600 is one single unit of welded steel, built the way a plane is built is stronger, safer, 500 pounds lighter. Instead of 15 or 20 miles per gallon, the big new Nash 600 delivers 25 to 30 at Moderate highway speed on the roughest roads. Deep coil springs on all four wheels keep your ride satin smooth. If it's a Raw, blustery day. Notice how the Nash conditioned air system surrounds you with living room warmth automatically. But probably you'll get your big thrill when you learn that the new Nash 600 is in the low price field. So watch your newspaper for the announcement that the car of tomorrow has arrived. Then let the new Nash 600 and the new Nash Ambassador speak for themselves and you'll know why you'll be ahead with Nash. Coming up, the Andrews Sisters with a little musical advice to the lovelorn.
Patty Andrews
Always remember, girls, that finesse is what counts. Yes, Pat. But definitely never let the man know that you're interested. But positively. Be cool, be calm, be distant. And above all, never be demanding. But precisely. And when that doesn't work, let him have it, kid. Back him in the corner and say, put that ring on my finger. She loved him completely in a true and endless way Though he loved her, sweetie. He would never name the day when she became impatient with a cousin of the least. She'd look at him and cry through her tears. Put that ring on my finger. By that golden wedding band Put that ring. If you're anxious to linger you will have to name the dare. Put that ring on my finger. Go and get the license right away. You make such beautiful speeches. Cheers and talk of honeymoon r. Now let me one of those creatures Let song Here comes the bride. Put that ring on my finger. Put that paper in my hand. Put that ring on my finger palm and wrap me in a wedding bag. You made such beautiful speeches and talk of a honeymoon ride. Now let's see one of those creatures and the dog. Here comes the bride. Put that ring on my finger. Put that bullet finger in my hand. Put that ring on my finger. Come and her man wrap me in a red flag.
Harlow Wilcox
In every theater in the world there's a Green Room. The room where the star waits for those magic words. You're on. Our Nash Kelvinator Green Room has moved out to Hollywood with us. And behind that big green door with a big shiny star.
Kurt Massey
Wait.
Harlow Wilcox
The guests who received tonight's award for their outstanding contribution to the world of entertainment. We were trying the other day to figure out just what it was we looked for in our Green Room guests what one word would sum up the quality that makes them eligible for a Green Room Award. We figured for some time, and the long and short of it is character.
Patty Andrews
And so we got a couple of characters for tonight.
Harlow Wilcox
One long and one short. Bud Abbott and Lou Costello.
Kurt Massey
Well, thank you.
Lou Costello
So quiet. I got some lines. I got some lines here. Thank you very Much.
Harlow Wilcox
Good evening, everybody. Well, you know, introducing Abbott and Costello to an audience is a little bit like saying ham. May I present eggs.
Lou Costello
Now wait a minute, Jack. I would hope. Now wait a minute, Jack. Wait a minute. That's no way to start off. Now, we want to be friendly. We want to be friendly. Quiet. Lou, what he's using is just a figure of speech. Well, I don't like his figure very much. Now, Patty Andrews, there's something else. How about that figure making a speech.
Patty Andrews
Okay, Lou, I will. And fast before get into any more complications. Because we want Bud and Lou to do the act that's brought down the house on the stage, in the movies and on the radio. The one routine you think of when you think of Abbott and Costello.
Harlow Wilcox
What we want to know is who's on first.
Patty Andrews
Well, Abbott, here we are.
Lou Costello
Here we are. Here we are at Nashville. Nashville. Nash, what I want to tell you. Now, wait a minute, take it easy. Are you talking about the Kelvinator 9? Oh, yes, yes indeed. I understand Kelvinator 9 is going to have a baseball team. That's right. I understand that Nash made you the manager. Well, certainly, Nashley, I want to play ball.
Harlow Wilcox
Well, there's no reason why I want
Lou Costello
to be a ball player on your team. Well, why not? Well, you know all the guys names. I don't know any of them. I would like to know some of the guys names on the team. So when I meet them on my street in a ballpark. But you know. You know, Lou, stranger may seem to give these ballplayers nowadays very peculiar names. Give me funny names, nicknames, pet names. Like Dizzy Dean and his brother Daffy. Daffy Dean? Their cousin. Who are you? Goofy. Goofy? Well, let's see. I'm their French cousin, Goufe. Let's see, we have on the bags we have. We have who's on first, who's on first, what's on second? I don't know. Who's on third? That's what I want to find out. What strange names. I say, who's on first? What's on second? I don't know who's on third? You're the manager. Yes. You know the guy's name? I should. Well, and who's on first? Yes, go ahead and tell me.
Kurt Massey
Who.
Lou Costello
The guy on first.
Kurt Massey
Who.
Lou Costello
The first baseman.
Kurt Massey
Who.
Lou Costello
The guy playing first. Who is on first? I'm asking you who's on first? I'm telling you who is on first. Go ahead and tell me. That's his name. That's whose name? Yes. Well, go ahead and Tell me who
Patty Andrews
the guy on first.
Lou Costello
I can't tell you any more than that. I'm asking you who's playing first base.
Kurt Massey
He is.
Lou Costello
Well, go ahead and tell me who the guy on first. That's it? That's who? Yes. Well, go ahead and tell me who the guy on first. Who is on first. Have you got a first baseman? Certainly. When you sign up the first baseman who signed a contract. Well, naturally. Okay. Well, it's no good unless he signs it. No good unless who signs it? Yes. So who signs it? He did. Who did y. I mean, what's the guy's name on first that sign? What is on second? I'm not asking you who's on second. Who's on first? That's what I'm trying to find out. That's what I'm trying to tell. When you pay off the first basement every month, who gets the money? Every dollar of it. When he signs the receipt. How does he sign the receipt? Who? The guy that says who? Yes. I mean, how does he sign his. Who? The guy on first. That's all he signed. You give the guy the money? Yes. You know who signs the receipt? He does. How does he sign it? Who? The guy you give the money to. That's the way he signed. All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base? What is the guy's name on second base? I'm not asking you who's on second. Who's on first? I don't know. He's on third.
Patty Andrews
Wait.
Lou Costello
How did I get on third base? You mentioned his a third baseman's name. Who did I say is on third? Who is playing first? What's on first, what's on second? I'm not asking you who's on second. Who's on first? I don't know. He's on third. Look, when you pay off the third basin every month, how does he sign his name? I don't know. You don't know how the guy signs his name? Certainly I do. You give him the money? I give him the money. How does he sign his name? I don't know. And still you give him the money? Well, he's entitled to it. Who's entitled to it? Oh, who's entitled to his own money? What's entitled to his own money? What's entitled to his. I don't know. He's our third. Hey, you got an outfield? Sure. The left field is named. Why? I just thought I'd ask you. Well, I just thought I'D tell you. Now tell me who's playing left field. Who is playing first. I'm not asking you what's on first, what's on second. I don't know. Third base and the left fielder's name. Why? Because. Oh, he's center field. He's in center field. You know the plays as well as I do. You got a pitcher on a team. Wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher? The pitcher's name tomorrow. Don't want to tell me today? I'm telling you, man.
Kurt Massey
Go ahead.
Lou Costello
Tomorrow. What time? What time what? What time tomorrow? You got tell me who's pitching. Now listen, who is not pitching. I'll break your arm. You say who's on first. Go ahead, have it your own. I want to know what's the pitcher's name, what's on second. I don't know. Third base. You got a catcher? Sure. Catcher's name. Today. Today and tomar. Spitching. Now you've got it. All we got is a couple of days on a team. You can't help that. You know I'm a catcher too. So they do. I'll get behind a plate and do some fancy catching. Tomorrow's pitching on my team. And a heavy hitter gets up. Yes. Home run. Levy. Levy? He works for Nash. Yes. All right. Levy gets up. Now Tamara throws the ball and Levy butts the ball. Yes. Now, when he butts the ball, me being a good catcher, I want throw leave you out of first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who? Now, that's the first thing you've said right. I don't even know what I'm talking about. That's all you have to do is to throw the ball at first base. Now who's got it? Naturally. If I throw the ball at first base, somebody's got to get it. Now who has it? Naturally.
Kurt Massey
Who?
Lou Costello
Naturally. Naturally. Naturally. So I pick up what I said. You did not. I said I throw the ball in natural. But you don't. I throw it a hoop. Naturally.
Kurt Massey
Naturally.
Lou Costello
Well, I pick up the ball and I throw it the natural. Now, wait a minute. You throw the ball to first base. Then who gets it naturally.
Patty Andrews
Why throw the ball a.
Lou Costello
Naturally. You don't. I throw it a hole. Naturally. That's what I'm saying. You're not saving first thing. Now get it straight. Go ahead and ask me again. You throw the ball to who? Naturally. That's correct. I ask you. I throw the ball to who? Naturally.
Patty Andrews
Same as you.
Lou Costello
No, no, no, no. Just break Yourself. I throw the ball to. Naturally. You throw the ball to who? Then who gets it? Naturally, he better get it.
Patty Andrews
I throw.
Lou Costello
Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs a second that's leaving now. Whoever it is I throw the ball at, he picks up the wall and throws it to what? What throws it?
Patty Andrews
I don't know.
Lou Costello
I don't know. Throws it back to tomorrow triple play. Now that could be another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to be caused. Why? I don't know. He's on third and I don't give a darn. What? I said I don't give a darn. Oh, that's our shortstop.
Harlow Wilcox
No question about it. That's Bud and Lou. And here's an award to symbolize all America's tribute to the thousands of laughs you've brought them. A bronze medal of the Nash Kelvinator green room door symbolic of Abbott and Costello's outstanding contribution to the world of entertainment.
Lou Costello
Thank God. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Welcome the party here. At.
Harlow Wilcox
The first time you serve a meal from a new Kelvinator automatic cook electric range, you're going to feel like a guest at your own dinner table.
Patty Andrews
Why?
Harlow Wilcox
Because this beautiful new range, soon to be displayed at your Kelvinator dealers, actually cooks whole meals all by itself. You prepare them ahead of time, place as many as five different dishes in the spacious oven set. The automatic cook control and the Kelvinator range does the rest. It starts your meal time, times it, turns it off at the moment you want it. Your food is ready to serve, piping hot and delicious. The new Kelvinator electric range has new top of the stove features too. Direct contact units that supply speedy accurate heat for whatever food you're cooking. They're worth waiting for. The new Kelvinator automatic cook electric ranges. The new Kelvinator refrigerators and Kelvinator home freezers. Get the best things from first. Get Calvinator. You know the two's company. And here's a company of two, Patty Andrews and Kurt Massie, that specialize in
Patty Andrews
high note and low note and close harmony as follows. I'll be walking with my honey down honeymoon soon, soon, soon. We won't care if it's November or
Kurt Massey
the middle or two I'll be sweeter to my sweetie than ever before Morning, night and noon For I'll be walking with my honey down moon lane.
Patty Andrews
Say curse.
Kurt Massey
Yes, Patty?
Patty Andrews
Remember that little white cottage we were talking about last summer?
Kurt Massey
Well, make it soon, soon, soon, very soon. Leave that moon.
Patty Andrews
We won't care if if it's moving.
Kurt Massey
We're all the middle of June, you know. Pat, honey, when we get all settled and everything, I'm going to be with
Patty Andrews
you all the time I'm making morning, night and noon all I'll be walking
Kurt Massey
with my honey the honeymoon day.
Patty Andrews
Let all the preachers.
Harlow Wilcox
All good cowboys hit the trail and wind up in Hollywood. And once in Hollywood all good cowboys hit the trail once again and wind up a hit song. Let's join Kurt Massey, Vic Schoen and the Ambassadors and the Andrews Sisters as they ride along the Navajo trail
Kurt Massey
every day along but evening when the sunlight beginning to. This. Navajo trail
Patty Andrews
when it's night and crickets are calling and coyotes are making a wave My dream by smoldering fire along the narrow trail
Kurt Massey
long till I listen to the music Is when the wind is swimming and face runs you D
Patty Andrews
When over yonder hill the moon is climbing it always finds me wishing on a star where what do you know,
Kurt Massey
it's morning already there's the D so silver and pale Time to climb into my saddle and I can never hold you.
Patty Andrews
I love to lie and listen to the music when the wind is coming a big fresh guitar when over yonder hill the moon is clim it always finds me wishing on a star well,
Kurt Massey
what do you know?
Patty Andrews
It's morning already There's a diamond so silver and pale Every day it's time right into my trouble and ride the lavable trail Ride the Navajo trail Ride the Navajo trail.
Harlow Wilcox
Well, everybody, that just about shows off every new mic model on display in the Nash Kelvinator musical showroom.
Patty Andrews
So good night, folks.
Harlow Wilcox
See you next Wednesday from the Andrews Sisters.
Kurt Massey
So long, folks.
Harlow Wilcox
From Kurt Massey next Wednesday in the Nash Kelvinator green room in the showcase of the showroom, Xavier Cougar.
Patty Andrews
And remember, we'll be with you each Wednesday at this time.
Harlow Wilcox
Nash builders of Nash motor cars. Galvinator Builders, makers of Kelvinator home appliances. Nash Kelvinator, makers of Nash motor cars, Kelvinator and Leonard home appliances will be looking for you next Wednesday in the NK musical showroom starring the Andrews Sisters with Kit Massey, Vic Schoen and his orchestra and the Ambassadors. And in the green room, Xavier Cougar. Until then, this is Wilcox wishing you good evening. Abbott and Costello appeared on this program courtesy of Camel Cigarettes broadcasting system,
Kurt Massey
KNX
Harlow Wilcox
Los Angeles Columbia station for Southern California,
Bleacher Report Announcer
the Bleacher report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up, March Madness is here and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about. Get real time. Scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.
Lou Costello
Tyler redick here from 2311 Racing, Victory Lane.
Bleacher Report Announcer
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Lou Costello
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Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: March 30, 2026
Host: Harlow Wilcox (Harold's Old Time Radio)
Guests: The Andrews Sisters, Abbott and Costello, Kurt Massey, Vic Schoen and his orchestra, The Ambassadors
This radio revue episode transports listeners to the Golden Age of Radio, with a lively program hosted by Harlow Wilcox. The show features a blend of big-band era songs—spotlighting the Andrews Sisters and Kurt Massey—and a showstopping classic comedy routine from Abbott and Costello. The spirit of Hollywood, nostalgia, and rapid-fire wit is ever-present, from the opening celebratory musical numbers to the legendary "Who's On First?" sketch. This episode is both a variety showcase for musical talent and a tribute to character-driven American comedy.
[00:35 – 03:45]
[03:58 – 11:50]
'Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy':
'I'll Buy That Dream':
Musical Advice – 'Put That Ring on My Finger':
[14:42 – 22:18]
Award Introduction:
Host Banter:
'Who's On First?' Routine:
[16:28 – 21:46]
[23:23 – 28:37]
[28:37 – 29:03]
This episode is a vibrant time capsule—embracing the magical harmony of vocal trios, the playful banter of radio hosts, and the wordplay wizardry of comedy legends. It's a delightful mix for anyone who loves the crackle and warmth of old-time radio and the enduring genius of Abbott and Costello’s comedy.