
Andrews Sisters - Guest - Bing Crosby, Gabby Hayes
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Marvin Miller
Nash Nelvinator, builders of Nash Motor Cars, Selvinator and Leonard Home Appliances present the Andrews Sisters show with the top few drenches of the week. George Gabby Hayes, Boy Willing and the writers of the Purple Stage. Vic Schoen and his orchestra. And starring the Andrews Sisters.
Narrator/Singer
Strike up the music the band has begun the Pennsylvania Poker Pick out your partner and join in the fun the Pennsylvania Poker it started in Scranton it's now number one it's popular Everybody has a mania to do the Poker from Pennsylvania. While they're dancing everybody's care's quickly gone sweet Romancing this goes on and on until the dawn they're so carefree Gay with laughter Happy as can be they stop to have a beer Then the crowd begins to cheer they kiss and then they start to kiss again.
Marvin Miller
Folks, this is Marvin Miller. I'm an announcer by trade, but at present I'm holed up on the Andrew Sisters dude ranch. I've been working with the kids for years, but not until their Uncle Pete willed them this big ranch did I ever get this far out in the country. Let me tell you what happened the first day as we arrived at the little water stop station.
Patty Andrews
Well, kids, here we are. The wide open spaces. And look at all the fresh air. Gosh, just makes you want to breathe all the time.
Marvin Miller
Hey, look at the scenery. What a honey of a backdrop this would make for a theater.
Gabby Hayes
Well, I'll be a ring tailed horned toad if you three gals ain't the
Patty Andrews
Andrew Sisters and I'll be a killer do it for man Marilla if you
Narrator/Singer
ain't our ranch folks.
Patty Andrews
Gabby Hayes.
Gabby Hayes
You're Dern. Toot and a half drove in from the ranch. Fetch you gal.
Patty Andrews
It's good to know you, Gabby. I'm Maxine. And I'm Patty. I'm Laverne.
Gabby Hayes
Well now I'm mighty proud to pump your paws. Well, sharks I knowed which was which A minute a Sotomayor on you got your pictures all over my Bunk. Especially Miss Patty's. She's my thin up gal.
Patty Andrews
Well, Gabby, where's our car? Let's get going.
Gabby Hayes
Buggy's right there, Miss Mackie.
Patty Andrews
You mean we have to ride in a buggy?
Gabby Hayes
Why, Miss Patty, that's one of the finest surreys in these parts.
Singer/Chorus
Hmm.
Patty Andrews
Looks more like the surrey that the fringe fell off.
Gabby Hayes
Well, I suppose you know what your Uncle Pete left ye.
Patty Andrews
I know. What did Uncle Pete leave?
Gabby Hayes
A cactus plant and a mortgage. He got stuck on both of them.
Patty Andrews
Wait till the dude ranch gets going. It'll pay for itself. Come on, Gabby, make this buggy move. Yeah, this thing's slower than a Tunerville trolley.
Narrator/Singer
With my high starch collar and my high top shoes and my hair piled high up on my hip I went to lose the jolly hour on the trolley and I lost my heart and with his light brown derby and his bright green tie he was quite the handsomest of men I started to yen so I counted to 10 then I counted to 10 again clang, clang, clang went the trolley Ding, ding, ding went the bell Ding, ding, ding went my heart screams for the moment I saw him I fell Chug, chug, chug went the motor Bump, bump, bump went the brake Thump, thump, thump went my heart springs when he smiled I could feel the car shake he tipped his hat and took a seat he said he
Patty Andrews
hoped he hadn't stepped upon my feet
Narrator/Singer
he asked my name I held my breath, I wouldn't speak because he scared
Patty Andrews
me half to
Narrator/Singer
Buzz, buzz, buzz went the buzzing flap, flop, flop went the wheel Stop, stop, stop when my heart screams as he started to go Then I started to know how it feels when the universe re.
Singer/Chorus
When the universe re.
Narrator/Singer
Buzz, buzz went the buzzer Pop, pop went the wheel stop, stop when my heart changed as he started to leave I took all of his sleep with my hand as if it were plan he stayed on with me and it was grand just to stand with his head on him to the end of the night.
Marvin Miller
Well, that's how we arrived and started right into dude ranches. And then the fun began.
Bleacher Report Announcer
The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up, March Madness is here and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment. You've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about, get real time scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher report app today so you never miss a moment.
Minky Couture Announcer
It's cozy season, and nothing compares to wrapping yourself in a Minky Couture blanket. Luxuriously soft, perfectly warm, thoughtfully made. From movie nights to chilly mornings, Minky Couture turns everyday moments into pure comfort. Once you feel it, you'll understand why it's called the original. Best blanket ever. Visit minkycouture.com or a store near you and make this cozy season your softest one yet.
Patty Andrews
Marvin, have you seen Gabby around?
Marvin Miller
He was over at the cook shack about an hour ago helping to get things ready for our New Year's party tonight.
Patty Andrews
Look, if Gabby doesn't leave that cook alone and quit fussing at him, he's gonna get his beard clipped with a meat cleaver. And Gabby has such a pretty beard. Oh, Gabby doesn't mean any harm. If he wasn't fussing, it's why he wouldn't be happy.
Gabby Hayes
I'm going to fire that dad blasted cook. If it's a lack of my natural life, that's what I'm going to do.
Singer/Chorus
I am.
Patty Andrews
What's Elmo done now, Gabby?
Gabby Hayes
What's he done? Why, he's been reading that. Fancy much hog meat. They're grunting in their sleep yet, so every time they turn over in their beds, they want to sing. Would you rather be a pig?
Patty Andrews
Oh, Gabby, you're stretching the truth.
Gabby Hayes
Oh, ain't another.
Singer/Chorus
Oh.
Gabby Hayes
Oh, Miss Patty, here's telegram come in a while ago.
Patty Andrews
Oh, boy. Maybe it's our first reservation for the ranch. Hey, kid, it's something. Crosby, he's coming here. We'll read it quick so we can all shout. We'll arrive at your ranch Sunday, December 31st. Clear out a crib in the warm end of the barn. I'm going to hibernate for a spell. Sign Bing. December 31st. Why, that's today. Oh, Gabby, isn't it wonderful?
Gabby Hayes
Yeah, I'm just shrill pink.
Patty Andrews
You know, Gabby, things coming here will sure get our ranch off to a good start.
Gabby Hayes
I can't see why the Hull ranch has to get in an uproar over a buzzard what's got gravel in his gizzard.
Patty Andrews
My, Gabby, I believe you're jealous of things.
Gabby Hayes
Me, jealous of him? Why, he ain't nothing but a hog collar that got lucky.
Patty Andrews
Oh, I just can't wait to hear him sing.
Gabby Hayes
There. His voice sounds to me like a rusty gate hinge.
Narrator/Singer
Yeah, yeah.
Patty Andrews
Gabby Bing's voice is a toast of the country.
Gabby Hayes
Toast of the country needs scraping. Why, when the cattle around here hear him scream, they're gonna raise the biggest beep in history. Besides, where's he gonna sleep?
Patty Andrews
Well, Gabby, I thought maybe he could share your bunks.
Gabby Hayes
Boy, I'd sooner sleep with a centipede. He likes horses so durn much. Let him sleep in the stable.
Patty Andrews
Oh, now you're just trying to be funny.
Gabby Hayes
Well, on second thought, maybe he better not. You know them horses mighty smart. They might stomp him to death if
Patty Andrews
you say another word against Bing. I'm going back to the ranch house.
Gabby Hayes
Oh, all right, all right. Oh, Miss Patty.
Patty Andrews
Yes?
Gabby Hayes
Suppose you and me talk about me and you.
Patty Andrews
You and me.
Gabby Hayes
That's what I said.
Bing Crosby
Me and you.
Patty Andrews
Yeah.
Gabby Hayes
Oh, shucks, Miss Patty. I'm gonna come right out with it. I think you're as fine a little filly as ever I saw eyes on. And your skin. Your skin is as soft as a young cap's ear.
Patty Andrews
Why, Gabby, you like to say things like that.
Gabby Hayes
Well, I mean, Em, you're just as pretty as a picture. Nice frame, too. Miss Patty?
Patty Andrews
Yes, Gabby?
Gabby Hayes
Look at them two cows over there rubbing noses. Don't that make you want to do the same thing?
Patty Andrews
Does it make you want to do
Gabby Hayes
the same heart ringing?
Singer/Chorus
It sure does.
Patty Andrews
Then go ahead. It's your call.
Gabby Hayes
Oh, shucks, Miss Patty. Say, how about singing that song you was crooning in my last night?
Patty Andrews
All right, G.
Narrator/Singer
Don't blame me for falling in love with you I'm under your spell so how can I help it don't blame me can you see when you do the things that you
Marvin Miller
do
Narrator/Singer
if I can conceal the spirit that I'm feeling Blame me I can't help it if that dog on moon. Make me need someone like you to love Baby, blame Blame your kids as sweet as a kid can be Blame all of your charms that melt in my arms but don't blame me.
Patty Andrews
Oh, why didn't Bing hurry? The suspense is awful. Are you sure this is December 31st? It was this morning.
Gabby Hayes
All this was over a groaner that's got sand in his crawl.
Patty Andrews
Oh, if Bing would come through that door right now, I'd grab him around the neck and give him a big kiss.
Bing Crosby
Well, pucker up and brand me my little Palamino filly.
Patty Andrews
Oh, Bing, welcome to the eight to the Bar Ranch.
Bing Crosby
Thanks, young uns. My, but you kids are looking as chipper as a coop full of catbirds.
Gabby Hayes
All this nonsense.
Bing Crosby
Say, what time do you have to get that beard back to Monte Woolly there?
Patty Andrews
Well, Bing, this is our foreman, Gabby Hayes.
Bing Crosby
Hi, Gabby.
Gabby Hayes
Hi, flabby.
Bing Crosby
An old hope I've got here. You're gonna slip me some skin, ain't ya?
Gabby Hayes
I'll slip you some skin. I'll skin ye up till your folks won't know ye from a fresh hide.
Bing Crosby
Come on now, tighten your cinch there, Shaggy. Your saddles are slipping.
Patty Andrews
Oh, don't mind Gabby, Bing. See, we'd like some attention too.
Bing Crosby
Well, why not, Patty, you're so petite. You're like a bantam hen with a brood of baby chicks.
Patty Andrews
Oh, Bing.
Bing Crosby
And you, Maxine, you're still cute as a kitten.
Patty Andrews
Oh, Bing.
Bing Crosby
And Laverne, you're looking as fit as a plow mule.
Singer/Chorus
Oh.
Narrator/Singer
Oh, Bing.
Gabby Hayes
Shitty feller putting on air.
Bing Crosby
Careful there, Pops. Your grand grabbing the Brandon iron by the hot end.
Gabby Hayes
Crosby, you got too much spread. I'm going to clip your horn.
Patty Andrews
Gabby, you behave. Mr. Crosby is our guest. Gee, just think, kids, he's right here on our ranch. Crosby the singer, that's me. Crosby the actor, that's me. And Crosby the millionaire, that's my brother, Everett. Say, Bing, how did you ever make up your mind to pay us a vintage?
Bing Crosby
Well, I came for my health or get away from Hope.
Patty Andrews
Gee, we'd like to have Bob Hope come here up here too. But we just don't have any place for him to sleep. Maybe he could sleep in the Calvinator.
Bing Crosby
Can't think of a better place for an old ham. Upper shelf, right in there.
Patty Andrews
No kidding, Bing. What was your real reason for coming out?
Bing Crosby
Well, they locked the door at Santa Anita, so I became a home homeless lad.
Patty Andrews
Tell us, Frog, did you ever have a horse that ran a good race?
Gabby Hayes
The rest of this conversation will be conducted in a whisper.
Bing Crosby
Well, what do you know, A talking mop.
Patty Andrews
Gabby, please don't insult me.
Bing Crosby
So, you got any good horses for sale, gals?
Gabby Hayes
What do you know about good horses? Them nags of yours are slower than a snail climbing a slick log.
Bing Crosby
What do you know about horses there, hedgehead?
Marvin Miller
Me.
Gabby Hayes
Not Wayne. Me. Me that pals with Roy Rogers boy I lived with Trigger.
Bing Crosby
Makes a good parlay.
Gabby Hayes
Why is that burned tenderfoot trying to talk to me about horses? Why, that tamest horse on this ranch would throw you so high the birds will build a nest in your hair before you light.
Bing Crosby
Be pretty drafty up there, Gabby. You couldn't ride anything wilder than a wheel care.
Patty Andrews
Why, you. Dad bless.
Bing Crosby
Give me room, gals.
Singer/Chorus
Give me room here.
Bing Crosby
I'll turn you every way but loose.
Singer/Chorus
Oh, give me land. Lots of Land under starry skies above. Don't send me in. Wide open country that I love. Don't fence me in. Let me be by myself in the evening breeze. And listen to the murmur of the cots and wood. Please send me off forever. But I ask you please don't fence me.
Narrator/Singer
Just turn me loose. Let me straddle my old saddle. Underneath the western sky on my cayuse. Let me wander over yonder Till I see the mountains rise.
Singer/Chorus
I wanna ride to the ridge where the west commenced. And gaze at the moon till I lose my senses. Cause I can look at hobbles and I can't stand fences. Don't pants me.
Narrator/Singer
Oh, give me land, Lots of land. The starry skies. Don't fence me in. Let me ride through the wild country that I love. Don't fence me in. Let me be by myself in the evening breeze. And listen to the murmur of the cots. More trees. Stand me off forever. But I ask you please don't fence me in. Just turn me loose. Let me straddle my old saddle. Underneath the western skies
Singer/Chorus
on my cayuse. Let me wander over yonder Till I see the mountains rise. Da da dum dum dum.
Narrator/Singer
I want to ride to the ridge
Singer/Chorus
where the words commences and gave it the moon. Till I lose my senses.
Narrator/Singer
And I can't look at hoppers and I can't stand turn
Singer/Chorus
no hopper. Don't you friend? Well, sir, I want to tell you
Bing Crosby
it's certainly great to be out in the west where there's never a discouraging word.
Narrator/Singer
Oh yes.
Patty Andrews
Where there's never a discouraging word.
Gabby Hayes
By the way, Crasby, Cranby, Al, Frankie, Sinatra.
Bing Crosby
That's a discouraging word.
Patty Andrews
Now look, boys, you're gonna have to quit fussing with each other. It's New Year's Eve and we have a big party to look forward to. So please let be friendly.
Bing Crosby
All right, Patty. I agree. Gabby, old man, let's call off the dogs. I only been fooling. Truthfully, Gabby, I. I admire you a lot.
Gabby Hayes
Well, now, that's right nice of you, Bing. Tell you the truth, I've always admired you a lot. In spite of your singing.
Marvin Miller
Hey, hey, everybody. We just got an important message from the government.
Narrator/Singer
Well, come on, let's tell all our neighbors.
Marvin Miller
Well, it's about the merchant marine.
Gabby Hayes
Listen.
Marvin Miller
They need 43,000 experienced seamen during the next 12 months. The need is especially urgent for experienced mates, engineers of all classes, able bodied seamen, firemen, oilers, water tenders, radio telegraphers, cooks and bakers and they'll take the last three. That's radio telegraphers, cooks and bakers without previous sea experience.
Bing Crosby
If we're going to keep our armies supplied and our casualties down, we've got to fill the merchant marine quota wherever possible. Let every experienced merchant seaman who was now working on land returned to the sea.
Patty Andrews
He bing. I'd like to hear you make a speech.
Bing Crosby
Well then gather around kid cuz I got a sermon right here.
Singer/Chorus
Stand by love girl I love yours too friend. You got to accentuate the positive elim negative latch on to the affirmative don't mess with Mr. In between you got to spread your eye up to the maximum Bring blue down to the minimum have faith or pandemonium Liable to walk upon the scene
Narrator/Singer
to illustrate his laughing Like Jonah in the well known in the ar. What did they do just when everything looked so dark
Singer/Chorus
and they said we better accentuate the positive Healing mind is the negative Latch on to the affirmative don't mess with Mr. In between no do not mess with Mr. In between please hear me,
Patty Andrews
Listen to
Narrator/Singer
me chilling and you will hear a
Patty Andrews
popular listening of the negative and an accent on the positive.
Singer/Chorus
Gather round me chillin if you're willing and sit tight while I start reviewing the attitude of doing right.
Narrator/Singer
Positive feeling I date the negative Latch on to the affirmative don't mess with Mr.
Singer/Chorus
In between you got to spread y' all up to the maximum Bring glue
Narrator/Singer
down
Singer/Chorus
otherwise Otherwise I am a name liable to walk upon the seam to illustration. Don't mess with this theorem before me
Narrator/Singer
not don't mess with Mr.
Patty Andrews
In between.
Marvin Miller
Well folks, it's New Year's Eve out here on the 8th of the bar Ranch.
Bing Crosby
We're all gathered before a huge fireplace.
Marvin Miller
We're going to listen to the riders
Bing Crosby
of the Purple Sage sing one of the most beautiful songs ever written about the West.
Singer/Chorus
Give me a home where the buffalo roam where the deer rod near. Where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day. Home on the rain where the deer and the aloe play where fell down his hand on his peraging world and the skies on.
Bing Crosby
Neighbors. This is plenty mellow out here. Comfy. Makes a fella think a bit. I was thinking that in a few hours it's going to be 1945. I have some friends who'd like to be home in 1945. So have you fellows for whom these holidays have only meant days of blood and sweat and fire and destruction. Some days lately been a little tougher than others. They don't bleat. These boys, they do a job and they do it good. You'd be awfully proud if you could see them operate. They got ahold of something there and they're not going to turn it loose until it's locked up. While they're out there fighting and dying, we must remember that they need us as much as we need them to make 1945 the year of victory. They need our letters to breathe hope into the dreams of home. Burn in their hearts on the battlefields. Our blood is needed to fan back the flickering spark of life. We must buy bonds and more bonds as a pledge of faith that before next New Year's Eve, the boys will be home. You're gonna do something about it, aren't you?
Singer/Chorus
For all.
Patty Andrews
This is Patty Andrews, friends and neighbors, and I just want to say that we sincerely hope you folks have enjoyed our first program to Bing Crosby. Well, oh, Bingo knows how we feel about him for coming here to help us get our new show started. So next week we're going to have another great guy with us, Eddie Cantor. Until then, so long, good luck and a very happy new year from Nash Calvinator and the Andrews Sisters.
Narrator/Singer
So please remember, we'll be with you next Sunday afternoon.
Marvin Miller
The Andrew Sister show, sponsored by Nash Kelvinator peacetime, manufacturers of Nash motor cars, Kelvinator and Leonard home appliances now devoted 100% to war production came to you from Hollywood. Bing Crosby appeared through the courtesy of the Craft Music Hall. Gabby Hayes by courtesy of Republic Pictures. The song Don't Fence Me in is from Warner Brothers. You picture Hollywood Canteen with an allstar cast, including our own Andrew Sister. Accentuate the Positive is from Bing's new Paramount release, Here Come the Way. This is Marvin Miller speaking.
Singer/Chorus
This is The Blue Network, 2 o'
Bing Crosby
clock at KECA Los Angeles.
Bleacher Report Announcer
The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up, March Madness is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about, get real time scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.
Minky Couture Announcer
It's cozy season and nothing compares to wrapping yourself in a Minky Couture blanket. Luxuriously soft, perfectly warm, thoughtfully made. From movie nights to chilly mornings, Minky Couture turns everyday moments into pure comfort. Once you feel it, you'll understand why it's called the original. Best blanket ever. Visit minkycouture.com or a store near you and make this cozy season your softest one yet.
Episode: Andrews Sisters – Guest – Bing Crosby, Gabby Hayes
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Date: March 30, 2026
This nostalgic episode of Harold’s Old Time Radio transports listeners back to the "Golden Age" with a special feature: The Andrews Sisters Show, set on their newly inherited dude ranch. Joined by movie and radio legends Bing Crosby and Gabby Hayes, the program blends western-themed comedy, star banter, musical performances, and a heartfelt wartime message for New Year’s Eve 1945. The episode captures the spirit of Old Time Radio, focusing on wholesome fun, classic hits, and neighborly warmth.
The show opens as the Andrews Sisters, accompanied by announcer Marvin Miller, arrive at their Uncle Pete’s dude ranch ([02:43]).
Gabby Hayes meets them, providing instant comic relief with folksy, western banter:
The mood is light and playful, poking fun at rural life as the sisters comment on their inheritance:
Gabby’s playful jealousy and mock disdain for Bing’s singing is a running joke:
When Bing Crosby arrives, the banter escalates with western metaphors and friendly teasing:
Despite the jibes, both characters declare mutual respect as the New Year’s celebration approaches:
Bing Crosby:
"I was thinking that in a few hours it’s going to be 1945. I have some friends who’d like to be home in 1945...they do a job and they do it good. You’d be awfully proud if you could see them operate...They need our letters to breathe hope into the dreams of home...We must buy bonds and more bonds as a pledge of faith..." ([26:38])
This rallying call encourages support for servicemen and women, reinforcing the program's community spirit.
Comic Romance
Surprise Arrival
New Year’s Toast & Reflection
Classic Andrews Sisters Harmonic Banter
This episode is an audio time-capsule—showcasing not only the musical talent and wit of the Andrews Sisters, Bing Crosby, and Gabby Hayes but also the way radio fostered unity, morale, and entertainment during a pivotal historical moment. Whether you’re a fan of classic songs, snappy vaudeville banter, or moments of heartfelt patriotism, this episode is sure to conjure the warmth and charm of Old Time Radio at its best.