Any Bonds Today - Fanny Brice

Summary

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Podcast Summary: "Any Bonds Today – Fanny Brice"

Podcast: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Episode Date: April 1, 2026
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Notable Guests: Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks), Hanley Stafford (Daddy), Igor Gorin
Duration: ~15 minutes of content

Overview

This episode is a special presentation of "Any Bonds Today," a patriotic radio program originally produced for the United States Treasury Department during World War II. The show features a comedic sketch starring Fanny Brice as Baby Snooks and Hanley Stafford as her long-suffering Daddy, teaching children about thrift, savings, and patriotism by buying defense stamps and bonds to support America during wartime. The episode also includes a heartfelt performance by noted baritone Igor Gorin, who shares his immigrant’s perspective on American ideals before performing a musical setting of the "Pledge of Allegiance."

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Key Discussion Points & Content Breakdown

[01:11] - [02:02] Opening Song: "Any Bonds Today?"

• The show opens with a lively musical segment inviting listeners to buy “bonds of freedom.”
  • Memorable Lyric: “Any bonds today? Scrape up the most you can, here comes the freedom man asking you to buy a share of freedom today…”

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[02:02] - [10:18] Comedy Sketch: Baby Snooks at the Post Office

Thrift, Money, and Innocent Mischief

• Daddy brings Baby Snooks to the post office to buy her first defense stamps, aiming to teach thrift and patriotism.
• Snooks’ coins are found hidden in her shoes along with candy and gum, displaying her charmingly literal-minded approach to safety and savings.

“I got it in my shoe.”
– Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice) [02:25]

• A humorous exchange about why Snooks stashes things:

  • "That's where I got my candy."
  • “Good heavens, you’re not going to eat that stuff after walking on it, are you?”
  • “Why?”
  • [02:45–02:53]

• Further mischief arises when Snooks explains she hid money in her pants because Daddy once said she should “always have a little money in the back of me.”

“You said I should always have a little money in the back of me.”
– Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice) [04:48]

• Recurrent laughs as Snooks asks about putting people (like Mommy) in jail for reading other people’s mail:
  • “Can we put her in jail?”
  • – Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice) [05:29]

Explaining Defense Stamps and Uncle Sam

• Daddy explains the significance of defense stamps:
  • Stamps can be collected to buy a defense bond, which in turn “helps Uncle Sam.”
  • Baby Snooks confuses Uncle Sam with Santa Claus and then wonders if he knows “Aunt Sophie.”
  • The explanation highlights American symbols and patriotism in childlike terms.

“I told you. He’s the patriotic symbol of this country, just like John Bull is the symbol of Great Britain.”
– Daddy (Hanley Stafford) [07:04]

The Importance of Savings and Patriotism

• Daddy emphasizes that buying savings stamps is not just for personal savings, but to help the country defend itself and support its military production.

“Strange as this may sound, your 30 cents may save half of the world.”
– Daddy (Hanley Stafford) [09:52]

• In a heartwarming turn, Snooks, now eager to help, asks Daddy to “turn me over” so she can retrieve the rest of her hidden money:
  • “I know. I want to get the rest of the money and save the other half of the world.”
  • – Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice) [10:11]

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[10:18] - [11:48] Igor Gorin’s Reflection and Song

• Igor Gorin shares his perspective as a recent immigrant, inspired by the ideals and promises of American citizenship.
• Gorin recounts applying for citizenship and being moved by the solemnity of the oath, which inspired composer Albert Hay Malotte to set the Pledge of Allegiance to music.

“...I applied immediately for my citizenship papers to achieve the great dream of my life: the right to say I am an American.”
– Igor Gorin [10:46]

• Gorin introduces and sings “The Pledge to the Flag,” dramatizing national pride and unity.

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[13:30] - [14:24] Patriotic Closing Call-to-Action

• The narrator doubles down on the wartime message, quoting Adolf Hitler and asking listeners to answer the challenge by buying bonds and stamps, reinforcing that “Every dollar helps fill the war chest of our nation.”

“Americans, I ask you, which world shall break? Ours or Hitler’s? Pour out your dollars in reply.”
– Narrator [13:38]

• Repeat of the “Any Bonds Today?” anthem encourages participation from all ages and backgrounds.

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[15:04] - [15:37] Closing and Credits

• The program officially ends, highlighting its stars – Fanny Brice, Hanley Stafford, Igor Gorin, and Barry Wood – and reminds the audience about the Treasury Department’s defense bonds and stamps programs.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Baby Snooks’ reasoning for her unique money storage:
  “I was afraid we’d be held up.” [03:33]

• Patriotic metaphor:
  “Your 30 cents may save half of the world.” [09:52]

• Immigrant American pride:
  “...the great dream of my life: the right to say I am an American.” [10:46 – Igor Gorin]

• Rousing patriotic exhortation:
  “Americans, I ask you, which world shall break? Ours or Hitler’s?” [13:38]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

| Time | Segment | |----------|----------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:11 | Opening song: "Any Bonds Today?" | | 02:02 | Baby Snooks and Daddy arrive at the post office | | 03:36 | Snooks’ explanation for hiding money and candy | | 04:48 | Snooks’ literal interpretation about having “money in the back”| | 06:31 | Explanation of defense stamps | | 07:26 | Who is Uncle Sam and what does he represent | | 09:27 | Why buying stamps/bonds matters to America’s defense | | 10:18 | Igor Gorin’s reflection and song introduction | | 11:48 | "The Pledge to the Flag" (song) | | 13:30 | Patriotic narrator’s challenge to the audience | | 14:24 | Closing reprise of "Any Bonds Today?" | | 15:04 | Credits and sign-off |

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Tone and Style

• The episode balances screwball family comedy (courtesy of Baby Snooks) with earnest wartime patriotism, mixing playful innocence with sincere appeals for civic participation.
• Gorin’s segment introduces a brief, dignified moment of reflection, contrasting gently with the comedic sketch and underlining the seriousness of the message.

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Summary for New Listeners:
This episode blends classic 1940s radio humor with a rousing call for Americans, young and old, to support the war effort by saving and buying defense stamps and bonds. Through childlike questions, gentle parental explanations, and heartfelt immigrant pride, the show encapsulates the spirit of unity, thrift, and patriotism that shaped the era.

Transcript

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[Narrator]

Any bonds today? Starring Fanny Brice as Baby Snooks and Igor Goren on a special recorded program of the United States Treasury Department.

[Singer]

By the way, have you bought any bonds today? Any bonds today? Bonds of freedom, that's what I'm selling. Any bonds today? Scrape up the most you can Here comes the freedom man Asking you to buy a share of freedom today Any stamps today? We'll be blessed if we all invest in the USA Here comes the freedom man can't make tomorrow's plan not unless you buy a share of freedom today

[Narrator]

Any bonds today? Well, no, it's defense stamps that Daddy Hanley Stafford wants Fanny Brice in her roll of baby snooks to buy. Daddy's giving her her first lesson in thrift. Here they are in a sketch written by Phil Raft.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

All right, folks, here's the post office. Have you got your money ready?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Yes, Daddy.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Where is it?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

I got it in my shoe.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

In your shoe? No wonder you've been hobbling along like a stilt walker when all the way over here Your left foot's 4 inches higher than your right foot. Take off that left shoe.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

My money's in the other shoe, Daddy.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Well, why is your left shoe like that?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

That's where I got my candy.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Good heavens, you're not going to eat that stuff after walking on it, are you?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Why?

[Narrator]

Oh.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Take off both your shoes and let's empty the mouse. Come in now.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Don't run, Daddy.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

I'll sit down here. Now take off those shoes.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

The Socks, too?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

No, just the shoes.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Well, how will I get my chewing gum Snopes?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

You didn't put chew chewing gum in your socks.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Didn't I?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Look at that mess. The money's all in pennies, too. Chewing gum, chocolates and a piece of apple.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Where's my lipa?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Here it is. Whatever possessed you to conceal all this stuff in your shoes?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

I was afraid we'd be held up.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Oh, what a ridiculous notion. Why should you be held up?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Well, you was held up last night when you came back from the lodge.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Who told you that?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Mommy did. He said two men held you up all the way home.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Now, that's a malicious slander. I walk every bit of the way myself.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Oh, Daddy.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Now, don't smirk. It's a. I have to suffer those indignities from your mother without you repeating them.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

I didn't tell nobody.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Well, make sure you don't.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Why?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Because a false rumor will spread that I came home inebriated and you know I'm a man of regular habits.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Is that one of your regular habits, Daddy?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

No. And I forbid you ever to mention the incident again.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Why?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Don't be aggravating, snooks. I brought you to this post office to teach you the virtue of thrift and you're already trying my patience. Is this all the money you had? 30 cents.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

No.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Where's the rest of it?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

They sewed it on the black and white pants.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

What for?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

You said to do it, Daddy.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

I told you to sew money on your pants.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Yeah, he said I should always have a little money in the back of me.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Oh, that's a wonderful interpretation. Take off your. Oh, no, no, you can't do it here.

[VRBO Advertiser]

Why?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Because it doesn't look nice to come to a post office and remove your clothes. Maybe you can go in the mailroom

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

and they got a female room.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

I'm talking about the room where they keep the letters.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Can we read the letters, Daddy?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Of course not.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Why?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Because it's against the law to open letters that don't belong to you. They can put a person in jail for reading other people's mail.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Mommy opens all your letters.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Yeah, I know it, but it's different with a man and wife.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Can we put her in jail?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

No.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Why?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Don't worry. I'm working on it. Now put your shoes and stockings on you.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

I want to go barefoot. No, I want to go there.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Oh, stop making me think or I'll t hide.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

I want to play hide and seek.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Now, that's enough. Put your shoes on. Quick. Now the Other one. Now, come on. We're going to invest this 30 cents of yours. Now, come on, sir.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

What's this picture on the wall, Daddy?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Oh, it's a reward poster put there by the Federal Bureau to aid in the search for mail. Bandits.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

What does it say?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

It says, murderer wanted. Let's see.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Are you gonna ask for the job?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

It's not a job. Come on. Well, here's the window. I want. Give me your 30 cents.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Why?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

To buy defense stamps.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

What's defense stamps?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

They are little tokens issued at various prices from $0.10 to $5. And when you get enough of them, you can get a defense bond.

[Singer]

What for?

[Narrator]

What for?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

To help Uncle Sam, of course.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Why don't we help Uncle Louie?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

This is not a real uncle. Uncle Sam is the guiding spirit of America. You've seen those pictures of that colorful old man with the beard, haven't you?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Santa Claus?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Not Santa Claus. Uncle Sam.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Who's he?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

I told you. He's the patriotic symbol of this country. Just like John Bull is the symbol of Great Britain. We've had him with us since America was founded.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

John Bull?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

No, Uncle Sam. He's always portrayed as a sort of Yankee character. And he wears stars and stripes.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Has he got a beard?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Yes.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Does he wear a high hat?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

That's it. And he gets his name from the initials U.S. who does? Uncle Sam.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Who is he?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

The man I'm telling you about. He represents our government in everything that's American. And his name is Uncle Sam.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Does he know Aunt Sophie?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

No. Why? I don't know. The important thing is he wants your 30 cents.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Who does? How are you yelling about? I ain't gonna give my money.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Look, it's for your own benefit, Snooks. If you buy defense stamps for that 30 cents, you'll always have it.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

I got it. Gnawing knife.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Yes, but you might spend it. If you buy stamps, Uncle Sam will get the money and return it to you.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Will he spend it?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Certainly.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

No, he won't.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Why not?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Cause he ain't gonna. Deb,

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

this is not only a saving proposition. Every real American should buy these defense stamps and bonds. Apart from the interest involved.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

What's interest, Daddy?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Well, it's a premium paid for the use of the money. Usually reckoned as a percentage, like interest at 5% per annum of $5,000. That means you get back $250 at the end of a year.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

$250?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

That's right.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

How can they afford it for 30 cents?

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Oh, give me that money. Now, keep quiet. Give Me. Three ten cents defense stamps, please. Thank you very much. Flying Snooks. Curious Stamps.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

I'm glad I stole the other money in my pants.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Now listen to me. You've just done a very noble thing. Silks. You are too young to understand now, but America today is facing a grave emergency. The President has called upon the financial aid of the entire nation. And you want to help, don't you?

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Now

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

listen. The few cents you've exchanged for those stamps will be put to work instantly. Defense workers are slaving night and day at different projects, helping to make an impregnable fortress of this country. To keep our strength so that we may help others. Battleships will be built. Airplanes will roll into production. Tanks, guns and even food for the army will be bought.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

All of my 30 cents.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

Don't you think it doesn't help? Now just imagine if every person in America did the same thing. Snokes. Strange as this may sound, your 30 cents may save half of the world. Yes.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Turn me over, Daddy.

[Daddy (Hanley Stafford)]

I'm not going to spank you.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

I know. I want to get the rest of the money and save the other half of the world.

[Narrator]

Well, Baby Snooks has a great idea there. And our next guest agrees with her. A brilliant young artist noted for his operatic and concert successes here and abroad. His name is familiar to all. Igor Goren. He's going to sing for you a song born from his own great love for America. But he wants to tell you about it himself. I present to you Igor Goren.

[Igor Goren]

Ladies and gentlemen, when I first came to this country six years ago, I applied in immediately for my citizenship papers to achieve the great dream of my life. The right to say I am an American. Finally the day came for me to stand before a judge and recite the creed of faith and the principles of our nation. The Pledge to the Pledge. Among those present in the courtroom was the well known composer, Albert Hay Malott. He was so moved by the solemnity of the occasion that he was inspired to set the pledge of Allegiance to music. To let the world know how it felt to witness the making of an American. Tonight I should like to sing the song born of this inspiration. The Pledge to the Flag.

[Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice)]

Sa. With.

[Narrator]

And justice for. That's the prime principle of every American today. We are fighting for that principle. Adolf Hitler has said two worlds are in conflict and one must break asunder. Americans, I ask you, which world shall break? Ours or Hitler's? Pour out your dollars in reply. Pour them out in a steady, never ending stream that fills the war chest of our nation and keeps it flowing over. Put every dollar you can into defense bonds sold by any bank, post office or savings and loan association. Put every possible dime into defense stamps sold by retail merchants and even by newspaper carrier. Boys, buy a bond now and every payday Hereafter make your regular bond buying answer Adolf Hitler's Bose.

[Singer]

Have you bought any bonds today? Any bonds today? Bonds of freedom that's what I'm selling Any bonds today? Scrape up the most you can Here comes the freedom man Asking you to buy a share of freedom today. Any stamps today? We'll be blessed if we all invest in the USA Here comes his freedom man can't make tomorrow's plan not unless you buy a share of freedom today.

[Narrator]

You've been listening to Any Bonds Today, a recorded program of the United States Treasury Department for defense bonds and stamps. Stars of this program were Fanny Brice as Baby Snook, Hanley Stafford as Daddy Igor Goren and Barry Wood. This is Larry Elliott speaking for the Treasury Department.

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