Any Bonds Today - Igor Gorin, Fanny Brice, Hanley Stafford, Barry Wood

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Any Bonds Today"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: April 1, 2026
Featured Performers: Fanny Brice, Hanley Stafford, Igor Gorin, Barry Wood
Theme: Patriotic Wartime Bonds Drive & American Values

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Episode Overview

This episode of Harold’s Old Time Radio revisits the radio classic "Any Bonds Today," a spirited U.S. Treasury Department program designed to encourage Americans to buy war bonds and defense stamps during World War II. Through comedy sketches, musical performances, and heartfelt speeches, listeners are reminded of their patriotic duty to invest in the nation's defense—capturing the voices, humor, and emotional resonance of the Golden Age of Radio.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Opening Theme & Purpose (00:17–01:05)

• The show opens with a catchy chorus (“Any Bonds Today?”) highlighting the main focus: encouraging Americans to purchase war bonds and defense stamps.
• Quote: “Any bonds today? Bonds of freedom, that's what I'm selling.” — Chorus (00:33)

2. Comedy Sketch: Baby Snooks Learns About Thrift (01:05–08:48)

• Main Characters:
  • Baby Snooks (Fanny Brice): Playful, literal-minded child.
  • Daddy (Hanley Stafford): Patient, slightly exasperated father.
• Summary: Daddy takes Snooks to the post office to buy her first defense stamps and teach her about thrift and patriotism. Humor ensues as Snooks hides money (and candy) in her shoes and socks, misinterprets idioms, and questions everything while Daddy attempts to explain Uncle Sam, U.S. bonds, and interest rates.
• Memorable Exchanges:
  • On hiding candy in her shoes:

    “That's where I got my candy.” — Baby Snooks (01:45)

  • On the confusion about ‘being held up’:

    “Well, you was held up last night when you came back from the lodge.” — Baby Snooks (02:37)

  • When Daddy explains who Uncle Sam is:

    “You've seen those pictures of that colorful old man with the beard, haven't you?”
    “Santa Claus.” — Baby Snooks (05:42)

• Notable Quote:
  • Daddy, on buying defense stamps:

    “If you buy defense stamps for that $0.30, you’ll always have it.” — Hanley Stafford (06:38)

  • On the impact of small contributions:

    “Just imagine if every person in America did the same thing. Snooks. Strange as this may sound, your 30 cents may save half of the world.” — Hanley Stafford (08:32)

3. Musical Segment: Igor Gorin Sings "The Pledge to the Flag" (08:48–11:47)

• Introduction by Igor Gorin: Shares his immigrant story and describes how Albert Hay Malott composed a song inspired by Gorin’s citizenship ceremony.
• Quote:
  • “When I first came to this country six years ago, I applied immediately for my citizenship papers... to say, I am an American. Finally, the day came for me to stand before a judge and recite the creed of faith and the principles of our nation, the Pledge to the Flag.” — Igor Gorin (09:14)
• Song: Gorin performs a stirring musical rendition of the Pledge of Allegiance, emphasizing themes of national unity and gratitude for American values.

4. Patriotic Call to Action (11:47–12:37)

• Narrator addresses listeners directly, referencing the conflict with Nazi Germany and urging every citizen to participate financially in the defense effort.
• Quotes:
  • “Adolf Hitler has said, two worlds are in conflict and one must break asunder. Americans, I ask you, which world shall break? Ours or Hitler’s? Pour out your dollars in reply... put every dollar you can into defense bonds...” — Narrator/Larry Elliott (11:47)

5. Closing Chorus & Final Message (12:37–13:15)

• The chorus reprises “Any Bonds Today,” reinforcing the call for unity and action.
• Quote:
  • “We'll be blessed if we all invest in the USA. Here comes the freedom man, can't make tomorrow's plan not unless you buy a share of freedom today.” — Chorus (12:52)

6. Program Credits (13:15–13:39)

• Narrator thanks the performers and reiterates the episode’s purpose in support of the defense bonds and stamps campaign.

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Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps & Attribution)

• “That's where I got my candy.” — Fanny Brice as Baby Snooks (01:45)
• “Well, you was held up last night when you came back from the lodge.” — Fanny Brice as Baby Snooks (02:37)
• “Oh, that's a wonderful interpretation. Take off your... Oh, no, no. You handle this.” — Hanley Stafford (Daddy) (03:44)
• “Santa Claus.” — Fanny Brice as Baby Snooks, on Uncle Sam (05:42)
• “If you buy defense stamps for that $0.30, you’ll always have it.” — Hanley Stafford (Daddy) (06:38)
• “Strange as this may sound, your 30 cents may save half of the world.” — Hanley Stafford (Daddy) (08:32)
• “When I first came to this country six years ago, I applied immediately for my citizenship papers... I am an American.” — Igor Gorin (09:14)
• “Americans, I ask you, which world shall break? Ours or Hitler’s? Pour out your dollars in reply...” — Narrator/Larry Elliott (11:47)

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:17: Episode opening, musical theme “Any Bonds Today?”
• 01:05: Introduction to Baby Snooks sketch
• 08:48: Igor Gorin introduction & “Pledge to the Flag” performance
• 11:47: Patriotic narration and call to action
• 12:37: Closing musical reprise
• 13:15: Credits and show close

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains a blend of humor (in the Baby Snooks/Daddy interactions) and deep patriotism (in Gorin’s reflections and the narrator’s calls to action). The scripting is sharp, witty, and emotionally resonant, characteristic of its era—the golden age of American radio.

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For Listeners:

This episode is a vivid slice of wartime America that captures how humor, music, and heartfelt appeals were woven together to inspire civic duty and unity in a time of national challenge. The interplay of childlike innocence and solemn patriotism provides a uniquely engaging window into America's home front history.

Transcript

[VRBO Narrator]

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[Narrator/Larry Elliott]

Any Bonds Today? Starring Fanny Brice as Baby Snooks and Igor Goren on a special recorded program of the United States Treasury Department. By the way, have you bought any bonds today?

[Chorus/Singers]

Any bonds today? Bonds of freedom, that's what I'm selling Any bonds today? Scrape up the most you can Here comes the freedom man Asking you to buy a share of freedom today Any stamps today? We'll be blessed if we all invest in the USA Here comes the freedom man can't make tomorrow not unless you buy a share of freedom today

[Narrator/Larry Elliott]

Any bonds today? Well, no. It's defense stamps that Daddy Hanley Stafford wants Fanny Brice in her roll of baby Snooks to buy. Daddy's giving her her first lesson in thrift. Here they are in a sketch written by Phil Rapp.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

All right, Snooks, here's the post office. Have you got your money ready?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Yes, Daddy.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Where is it?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

I got it in my shoe.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

In your shoe? No wonder you've been hobbling along like a stilt walker when all the way over here Your left foot's 4 inches higher than your right foot. Take off that left shoe.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

My money's in the other shoe, Daddy.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Well, why is your left shoe like that?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

That's where I got my candy.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Good heavens, you're not going to eat that stuff after walking on it, are you?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Why?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Oh. Take off both your shoes and let's empty them out. Come inside.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Now, don't run, Daddy.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Now, sit down here. Now, take off those shoes.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

The socks, too?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

No, just the shoes.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Well, how will I get my chewing gum?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Snopes, you didn't put chewing gum in your socks.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Didn't I?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Look at that mess. The money's all in pennies, too. Chewing gum, chocolates and a piece of apple.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Where's my Lipa?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Here it is. Whatever possessed you to conceal all this stuff in your shoes?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

I was afraid we'd be held up.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Oh, what a ridiculous notion. Why should you be held up?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Well, you was held up last night when you came back from the lodge.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Who told you that?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Mommy did. She said two men held you up all the way home.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Now, that's some malicious slander. I walked every bit of the way myself.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Oh, Daddy.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Now, don't smirk. It's enough I have to suffer those indignities from your mother without you repeating them.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

I didn't tell Nobody.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Well, make sure you don't.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Why?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Because a false rumor will spread that I came home inebriated and you know I'm a man of regular habits.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Is that one of your regular habits, Daddy?

[Chorus/Singers]

No.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

And I forbid you ever to mention the incident again.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Why?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Don't be aggravating, snooks. I brought you to this post office to teach you the virtue of thrift, and you're already trying my patience. Is this all the money you had? 30 cents.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

No.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Where's the rest of it?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

They showed it on the back of my pants. What for? You said to do it.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Daddy, I told you to sew money on your pants.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Yeah, he said I should always have a little money in the back of me.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Oh, that's a wonderful interpretation. Take off your. Oh, no, no. You handle this.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Why?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Because it doesn't look nice to come to a post office and remove your clothes. Maybe you can go in the mail room.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Ain't they got a female room?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

I'm talking about the room where they keep the letters.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Can we read the letters, Daddy?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Of course not.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Why?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Because it's against the law to open letters that don't belong to you. They can put a person in jail for reading other people's mail.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Mommy opens all your letters.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Yeah, I know it. But it's different with a man and wife.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Let me put her in jail.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

No.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Why?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Don't worry. I'm working on it. Now, put your shoes and stockings on.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

I want to go barefoot.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Snopes.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

I want to go barefoot.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Oh, stop making me think, or I'll Tanya Hyde.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

I want to play hide and seek.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Now, that's enough. Put your shoes on.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Quick. On.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Now the other one. Now, come on. We're going to invest this 30 cents of yours. Now, come on, Susan.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

What's this picture on the wall, Daddy?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Oh, it's a reward poster put there by the Federal Bureau to aid in the search for male bandits.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

What does it say?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

It says murderer wanted. Hmm. Let's see.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Are you gonna ask for the job?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

It's not a job. Come on. Well, here's the window I want. Give me your 30 cents.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Why?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

To buy defense stamps.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

What's defense stamps?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

They're little tokens issued at various prices from $0.10 to $5. And when you get enough of them, you can get a defense bond.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

What for?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

What for? To help Uncle Sam, of course.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Why don't we help Uncle Louie?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

This is not a real uncle. Uncle Sam is the guiding spirit of America. You've seen those pictures of that colorful old man with the beard, haven't you?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Santa Claus.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Not Santa Claus. Uncle Sam.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Who is he?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

I told you. He's the patriotic symbol of this country. Just like John Bull is the symbol of Great Britain. We've had him with us since America was founded.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Yam bull?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

No, Uncle Sam. He's always portrayed as a sort of Yankee character. And he wears stars and stripes.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Has he got a beard?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Yes.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Does he wear a high hat?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

That's it. And he gets his name from the initials U.S. who does? Uncle Sam.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Who is he?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

The man I'm telling you about. He represents our government in everything that's American. And his name is Uncle Sam.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Does he know Ann Sophie? No.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Why?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

I don't know.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

The important thing is he wants your 30 cents.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Who does?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Ultrasound? What are you yelling about?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

I ain't gonna give him my money.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Look, it's for your own benefit, Snooks. If you buy defense stamps for that $0.30, you'll always have it.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

I got it now, ain't I?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Yes, but you might spend it. If you buy stamps, Uncle Sam will get the money and return it to you.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Will he spend it?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Certainly.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

No, he won't.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Why not?

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Cause he ain't gonna get it.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Snokes, this is not only a saving proposition. Every real American should buy these defense stamps and bonds. Apart from the interest involved.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

What's interest, Daddy?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Well, it's a premium paid for the use of the money, usually reckoned as a percentage, like interest at 5% per annum of $5,000. That means you get back $250 at the end of the year.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

$250?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

That's right.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

How could they afford it for 30 cents?

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Oh, give me that money.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Now keep quiet.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Give me three 10 cent defense stamps, please. Thank you very much. Flying Snooks. Here he is. Stamps.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

I'm glad I stole the other money in my pants.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Now listen to me. You've just done a very noble thing, Snooks. You're too young to understand now, but America today is facing a grave emergency. The President has called upon the financial aid of the entire nation. And you want to help, don't you? Now listen. The few cents you've exchanged for those stamps will be put to work instantly. Defense workers are slaving night and day at different projects, helping to make an impregnable fortress of this country. To keep our strength so that we may help others. Battleships will be built. Airplanes will roll into production. Tanks, guns and even food for the army will be bought.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

All of my 30 cents.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Don't you Think it doesn't help. Now just imagine if every person in America did the same thing. Snokes. Strange as this may sound, your 30 cents may save half of the world.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Yeah.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

Yes.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

Turn me over, Daddy.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

I'm not going to spank you.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

I know. I want to get the rest of the money and save the other half of the world.

[Narrator/Larry Elliott]

Well, Baby Snooks has a great idea there. And our next guest agrees with her. A brilliant young artist noted for his operatic and concert successes here and abroad. His name is familiar to all. Igor Gorin. He is going to sing for you a song born from his own great love for America. But he wants to tell you about it himself. I present to you Igor Gorin.

[Igor Gorin]

Ladies and gentlemen. When I first came to this country six years ago, I applied immediately for my citizenship papers to achieve the great dream of my life. The right to say I am an American. Finally, the day came for me to stand before a judge and recite the creed of faith and the principles of our nation, the Pledge to the Flag. Among those present in the courtroom was the well known composer, Albert Hay Malott. He was so moved by the solemnity of the occasion that he was inspired to set the Pledge of Allegiance to music to let the world know how it felt to witness the making of an American. Tonight, I should like to sing the song born of this inspiration, the Pledge to the Flag.

[Hanley Stafford (Daddy)]

I pledge.

[Fanny Brice (Baby Snooks)]

With.

[Narrator/Larry Elliott]

And justice for all. That's the prime principle of every American today. We are fighting for that principle. Adolf Hitler has said, two worlds are in conflict and one must break asunder. Americans, I ask you, which world shall break? Ours or Hitler's? Pour out your dollars in reply. Pour them out in a steady, never ending stream that fills the war chest of our nation and keeps it flowing over. Put every dollar you can into defense bonds sold by any bank, post office or savings and loan association. Put every possible dime into defense stamps sold by retail merchants and even by newspaper carrier. Boys, buy a bond now and every payday hereafter. Make your regular bond buying answer Adolf Hitler's boast.

[Chorus/Singers]

Have you bought any bonds today? Any bonds today? Bonds of freedom, that's what I'm. Sell bonds today. Scrape up the most you can. Here comes the freedom man Asking you to buy a share of freedom today. Any stamps today? We'll be blessed if we all invest in the USA Here comes the freedom man. Can't make tomorrow's plan. Not unless you buy a share of freedom today.

[Narrator/Larry Elliott]

You've been listening to Any Bonds Today. A recorded program of the United States Treasury Department for defense bonds and stamps. Stars of this program were Fanny Brice as baby Snooks, Hanley Stafford as Daddy, Igor Gorin and Barry Wood. This is Larry Elliott speaking for the Treasury Department.

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