Archie Andrews 46-10-19 Plumbing Woes

Summary

Podcast Summary: Archie Andrews 46-10-19 Plumbing Woes

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harolds Old Time Radio
• Episode: Archie Andrews 46-10-19 Plumbing Woes
• Release Date: July 27, 2025

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Overview

In this delightful episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, listeners are transported to the charming Andrews household in Riverdale. The narrative revolves around a common household dilemma: the pursuit of a peaceful bath amidst unexpected plumbing troubles. Through a series of humorous interactions and situational comedy, the episode showcases the dynamics of the Andrews family, particularly focusing on Archie Andrews' efforts to attend a dance and his father's (Fred Andrews) determination to enjoy a relaxing bath.

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Main Characters

• Fred Andrews (Father): Played by Ian Martin, Fred is portrayed as a well-meaning but somewhat bumbling father eager for a moment of relaxation.
• Mary Andrews (Mother): Voiced by Alice Yorman, Mary is the voice of reason, often mediating between Fred and their son, Archie.
• Archie Andrews (Son): Portrayed by Bob Hastings, Archie is an enthusiastic teenager juggling social engagements and family responsibilities.
• Jughead Jones: Voiced by Harlan Stone, Jughead serves as the family's supportive friend and the voice on the phone during key moments.
• Veronica and Betty: Voiced by Gloria Mann and Rosemary Rice, respectively, they are Archie's love interests involved in the dance subplot.

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Episode Breakdown

1. Setting the Stage

The episode opens with the Andrews family preparing for Archie’s big date to the dance. Archie is keen on dressing up and ensuring everything is set for the evening.

• Archie Andrews [00:41]: "Big date, Mom. Excuse me, I gotta call Jughead."

2. Archie’s Dance Preparations

Archie explains to his mother the logistics of attending the dance, mentioning the desire to arrive early to avoid crowded dances and the arrangement of a double date with Betty and Veronica.

• Archie Andrews [02:18]: "Because the only time I can dance without bumping into everyone is when no one else is on the dance floor."

3. Fred’s Quest for Relaxation

While Archie is preoccupied, Fred Andrews expresses his urgent need for a relaxing bath, leading to comedic interruptions as Fred attempts to manage household tasks.

• Fred Andrews [04:02]: "Yes, sir, I’d like nothing better than to relax for about half an hour and just soap and soak."

4. Plumbing Problems Arise

Fred discovers that the hot water pipes are knocking, leading to an investigation of the plumbing issue. His attempts to fix the problem escalate the situation, especially when Archie inadvertently joins him in the bathtub.

• Fred Andrews [13:36]: "Archie, the house was not falling in the water. Mary. I was running the hot water faucet and the pipe started to clatter."

5. The Bathtub Fiasco

A series of misunderstandings and mechanical mishaps lead Fred to attempt a DIY fix, resulting in him sawing the bathroom door and accidentally trapping Archie inside. The situation intensifies as both father and son struggle to resolve the issue.

• Fred Andrews [21:13]: "Archie, you must have. This door is locked, see?"
• Archie Andrews [20:44]: "Gee whiz, dad, how much longer?"

6. Attempts at Resolution

Jughead steps in to assist, and the family works together in a slapstick manner to free Archie from the bathroom. Their efforts culminate in a temporary fix of the plumbing issue.

• Jughead Jones [22:23]: "Hey, Fred, you're wringing his neck."
• Fred Andrews [23:40]: "Come on, hurry up, Archie."

7. The Final Hurdle: No Soap

Just as Fred finally manages to take his long-awaited bath, the family realizes that the soap has run out, adding a final twist to the evening's events.

• Archie Andrews [30:09]: "Bath soap. Plain old bath soap."
• Fred Andrews [28:05]: "There isn't a drop of soap in here. Archie must have used the last of it."

8. Closing Reflections

The episode wraps up with the family reflecting on the night's chaos as they settle down for the evening, showcasing their resilience and humorous bond.

• Fred Andrews [29:31]: "Well, all right, but it does matter."
• Mary Andrews [29:36]: "Good night, dear."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Archie Andrews [02:18]: "Because the only time I can dance without bumping into everyone is when no one else is on the dance floor."

• Fred Andrews [04:02]: "Yes, sir, I’d like nothing better than to relax for about half an hour and just soap and soak."

• Fred Andrews [13:36]: "Archie, the house was not falling in the water. Mary. I was running the hot water faucet and the pipe started to clatter."

• Fred Andrews [21:13]: "Archie, you must have. This door is locked, see?"

• Archie Andrews [30:09]: "Bath soap. Plain old bath soap."

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Themes and Insights

This episode masterfully blends everyday family dynamics with comedic mishaps, highlighting themes such as:

• The Quest for Personal Time: Fred's desire for a solitary bath represents the universal need for personal relaxation amidst family obligations.

• Intergenerational Miscommunication: The humorous misunderstandings between Fred and Archie underscore the challenges and comedic potential of family conversations.

• Problem-Solving Under Pressure: The Andrews family's attempts to fix the plumbing issues showcase their collaborative spirit, even in the face of escalating chaos.

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Conclusion

Archie Andrews 46-10-19 Plumbing Woes is a quintessential episode that captures the essence of family life with humor and heart. Through relatable scenarios and witty dialogues, the Andrews family navigates a night filled with unexpected challenges, ultimately reinforcing their strong familial bonds. Whether you're a longtime fan of the Andrews or new to their adventures, this episode offers laughter and a charming glimpse into their spirited household.

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Production Credits

• Written by: Carl Jampel
• Directed by: Kenneth McGregor
• Voice Cast:
  • Archie Andrews: Bob Hastings
  • Jughead Jones: Harlan Stone
  • Mrs. Andrews: Alice Yorman
  • Fred Andrews: Ian Martin
  • Veronica: Gloria Mann
  • Betty: Rosemary Rice

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Tune-In Next Week

Listeners are invited to return next week for more adventures of Archie Andrews, promising more humor and heartwarming family moments. As always, Harold's Old Time Radio delivers timeless stories that resonate across generations.

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This episode is a fictional representation inspired by the Golden Age of Radio and is based on the provided transcript.

Transcript

[Fred Andrews]

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[Archie Andrews]

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[ZipRecruiter Announcer]

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[Archie Andrews]

Hello? Hello, Jughead, this is Archie. Come over right away. It's a matter of life or death or.

[Mary Andrews]

Relax, Archie, Relax.

[Narrator]

Yes, and you relax.

[Fred Andrews]

Two votes.

[Narrator]

It's you can. Because here he is again, right out of the pages of Archie Comics Magazine with all his gang, Archie Andrews. Well, tonight is Saturday night as we look in on the Andrews home in riverdale. We find Mrs. Andrews in the living room sewing as Archie enters.

[Archie Andrews]

I'll be down to get you in a taxi, honey. Oh, hi, Mom.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, Archie, what's all the rush?

[Archie Andrews]

Big date, Mom. Excuse me, I gotta call Jughead.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, don't let me keep you.

[Archie Andrews]

Operator, get me Riverdale 247, please. Better be ready about half past eight. Da da da da da da da da da da. Jughead, this isn't Gregory Peck. Jughead. What kind of an answer is that? I heard that on a radio program. Very funny. But listen, Jug, what time are you coming over here? As soon as I finish dressing. I want to get to the dance early.

[Fred Andrews]

Why?

[Archie Andrews]

Because the only time I can dance without bumping into everyone is when no one else is on the dance floor. Well, all right, Jug. We'll try to get there early so you can dance. You come over here as soon as you can and then we'll call for Betty and Veronica.

[Fred Andrews]

Okay. Are you dressed yet?

[Archie Andrews]

No, but I'm gonna get dressed right now. Okay, see you later.

[Fred Andrews]

Yeah.

[Archie Andrews]

Bye, Jug. Bye.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, bye.

[Mary Andrews]

Who are you taking to the dance, dear?

[Archie Andrews]

Well, it's a long story, Mom. I wanted to take Veronica, but Betty wanted to go with me too, and Jughead had no one to take. So we made it a double date and we're all going together.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, I see.

[Archie Andrews]

Well, I better start dressing or I'll be late. Oh, I'll be down the deck and the taxi.

[Jughead Jones]

Oh, that boy.

[Mary Andrews]

He's exactly like his body.

[Fred Andrews]

Saturday night is the moltiest night in the week. Oh, doty, doty, Saturday night is. Oh, hello there. Newspaper down here?

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, dear, right there. Fred, why are you wearing your bathrobe and slippers?

[Fred Andrews]

Ah, yes, yes.

[Mary Andrews]

Fred, I asked you a question.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, dear. Yes, yes, Fred.

[Mary Andrews]

Andrews, just what is so interesting in that paper?

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, nothing, dear, nothing. Just glancing through. It says here United nations week starts tomorrow. Yes, I know, but General assembly opens October 23rd.

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, dear, that's fine. But I still want an answer to my question.

[Fred Andrews]

Question, question, Question. What question?

[Mary Andrews]

Well, I asked you why you're wearing your bathrobe and slippers.

[Fred Andrews]

Hmm? Oh, well, now, Mary, what do you want me to wear, a negligee and galoshes?

[Mary Andrews]

Fred, don't be funny and tell me why you're wearing your bathrobe at 7:30.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, Mary, if you have no violent objections, I am going to take a bath.

[Mary Andrews]

A bath? Oh, but, Fred, I thought we might go to a movie tonight.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, not tonight, dear. Not tonight. No, sir. I'm just in the mood for a nice hot bath. Yes, sir, I'd like nothing better than to relax for about half an hour and just soap and soak. Yes, sir, that's my motto. Tonight, soap and soak. Or if you prefer, soak and soap. I bet you can say that three times fast.

[Mary Andrews]

No, dear, I probably can't.

[Fred Andrews]

Just try it, Mary. Soap and soak. Soak and soap. Soak and soak and soak. You see, it can't be done.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, honestly, friends, won't you ever grow up? Now, go on, take your bath.

[Fred Andrews]

All right, Mary, that's exactly what I intend to do right this minute. Oh, I'm forever blowing bubbles. Pretty bubbles in the wonder. If that's going to be hot enough, I. Ooh, ooh. Hot as blue blazes. A little cold water will fix that. They fly so high, nearly reach. Let's see now. That should be just about freezing. Freezing? Oh, just a minute ago it was red hot. Now it's.

[Archie Andrews]

It's.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, a little more hot will do. There we are. Soap and soak. Soap and soak. Soak. Soap and no, no, no, it can't be said. Can't be said. Now, let's see. Now, the water should be just about. Ah, there we are. Just right. Yes, sir, just exactly right. Now, I'll just. Huh? What do you want? Mary?

[Jughead Jones]

Telephone. Fred.

[Fred Andrews]

Tele. No, no. Oh, for gosh sakes. Who is it?

[Jughead Jones]

Tom Henderson.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, what does he want?

[Jughead Jones]

He wants to talk to you.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, for. All right, I'll be right there. At least he called before I got in the tub. People are calling you.

[Mary Andrews]

Were you in the tub, please?

[Fred Andrews]

Almost, but not quite. Now I wonder what the dickens that old windbag wants.

[Mary Andrews]

Here you are.

[Fred Andrews]

Huh? Oh, thanks. Hello. Oh, yes, fine, fine. Tom, how's yourself? Good. I'm glad to hear it. Yes. Well, I was. Well, yes, all right. Yes, let's do that. Yes, well, glad you called, Tom. Bye.

[Mary Andrews]

What do you want, dear?

[Fred Andrews]

What did he want? He just wanted to say hello.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, I guess he did.

[Fred Andrews]

He did. I don't know why that old windbag calls me up all the time. He never has a thing to say. Not a blessed thing. Well, up to the bath I'm forever blowing. Now, who locked this confounded door? Archie? Archie, are you in there?

[Archie Andrews]

Yes, dad, I'm taking a bath.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, I'm taking a bath. Well, that's taking a bath in my tub. Archie, for God's sakes. I was gonna take a bath, but.

[Archie Andrews]

Gee whiz, dad, I'm going out and I gotta take a bath before I get dressed.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, sure. So you just jump right into my nice tub of hot water. Do you think that water grew there?

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, gosh, no. I thought mom got it right.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, fine. I. Well, I suppose now that you're in the tub. You're in the tub.

[Archie Andrews]

I sure am, dad.

[Fred Andrews]

But don't be all night about it, you hear?

[Archie Andrews]

Be out in two minutes. Dad.

[Fred Andrews]

I see that you are. Turn you back for a moment, Mary?

[Jughead Jones]

Yes, dear?

[Fred Andrews]

Mary, do you know what happened? Well, while I was down here listening to Tom Henderson say hello, your son got into the bathtub.

[Archie Andrews]

Pretty.

[Fred Andrews]

Say, I don't know why, the moment I turn my back, somebody's always.

[Mary Andrews]

You answer that, dear.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, all right, I'll answer it. But if that's Tom Henderson, I'll have something.

[Archie Andrews]

Hello, Mr. Andrews?

[Fred Andrews]

Oh. Oh, Veronica. Yes? Is it Mr. Andrews?

[Mary Andrews]

Is Archie there?

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, no, he's upstairs in the. He's upstairs, Veronica.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, would you mind calling him to the phone?

[Fred Andrews]

Calling him to the. Why, Veronica, that would be a pleasure. Archie. Oh, Archie.

[Archie Andrews]

Calling me, dad?

[Fred Andrews]

Yes. Telephone keywords.

[Jughead Jones]

Who is it?

[Fred Andrews]

Veronica, Keywords.

[Archie Andrews]

I'll be right there.

[Fred Andrews]

All right, Veronica. He'll be right here.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, that can be dangerous.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, Mary, I guess that'll teach the boy to go around bathing behind people's backs.

[Mary Andrews]

Fred, you're just cutting off your noses. Bite her face. Now, you'll only have to wait that much longer to take your bath.

[Fred Andrews]

Mary, I don't care if I have to. Oh, I never thought of that, Archie.

[Archie Andrews]

Thanks, dad.

[Mary Andrews]

Archie, you catch your desert cold running around in that towel?

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, I'll only be a minute, Mom.

[Fred Andrews]

All right. See that you're no longer. Hello.

[Mary Andrews]

Hello, Archie. How are you, Archie?

[Fred Andrews]

Carried.

[Mary Andrews]

I'm anxious to see you. Later, Archie.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, for goodness sake, just what is tickling you?

[Archie Andrews]

Gee whiz, dad, this is important.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, important or not, either say something or get back upstairs and finish that bath.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, dad. Okay. Hello, Veronica. I gotta rush now. Did you want to speak to me about anything special?

[Mary Andrews]

Well, yes. What time are we going to the dance?

[Archie Andrews]

Well, I don't know. About 8:30, I guess.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, could we make it a little later?

[Archie Andrews]

Later?

[Mary Andrews]

Uhhuh. I hate to be the first one there, don't you? I'd much rather make an entrance.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, well, sure, if you want, Veronica. Is that all?

[Mary Andrews]

Uhhuh. I see you later. Bye.

[Archie Andrews]

Bye, Veronica.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, what was so important?

[Archie Andrews]

Well, you see, Veronica wanted.

[Fred Andrews]

Never mind, never mind. Just get upstairs and finish that bath.

[Archie Andrews]

Dad, I'll be finished before you can say Jack Robinson.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, I do not want to say Jack Robinson. I want to take a bath.

[Mary Andrews]

Fred, really, I think you're making too much fuss about this whole thing. You can take a bath five minutes from now.

[Fred Andrews]

Mary, that is not the point. I like to take a bath when I'm in the mood for taking a bath. Not just anytime.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, you have to be inspired.

[Fred Andrews]

No, Mary, I don't. The point is that the boy had no right to go in that tub when I was all ready to use it.

[Mary Andrews]

Fred, he didn't know.

[Fred Andrews]

He knew I was waiting when he was on the phone, didn't he?

[Mary Andrews]

Well, yes.

[Fred Andrews]

And did you hear him? Does he care that I'm waiting to take a bath? No. He sits there giggling. Mary, it's time that boy learned to think of other people.

[Mary Andrews]

Fred, you're making a big fuss over nothing. He's probably through by now.

[Fred Andrews]

Mary, I am not making any fuss over. You think he is. Archie. Archie.

[Archie Andrews]

Yes, dad?

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, are you out of the bathtub yet?

[Archie Andrews]

Well, no, dad, I'm waiting for it to fill up.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, fill up?

[Archie Andrews]

Yeah, it was ice Cold when I got back here, and I had to fill it up all over again.

[Mary Andrews]

Mary, you see Now, Fred, remember your blood pressure.

[Fred Andrews]

Blood pressure? Mary, in a minute I won't need a hot bath. I'm boiling right now, Sam.

[Mary Andrews]

Fred, will you please stop pacing up and down?

[Fred Andrews]

Harry, is that boy gonna stay in that bathtub all night?

[Mary Andrews]

I'm sure I don't know. He had to.

[Fred Andrews]

When I was a boy, we took him through. Archie, did you say you were through?

[Archie Andrews]

Yes, dad.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, it's about time.

[Mary Andrews]

There, you see?

[Fred Andrews]

See what?

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, never mind, dear. Just go up and take your bath.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, well, thank you. Thank you, madame. I'm sorry. Certainly glad I have your permission. Getting people out of the bathtub. All I'm forever blowing bubble. Let's see now. I don't want to get it too hot again. I. Oh, for gosh sakes, Mary.

[Jughead Jones]

Yes?

[Fred Andrews]

This water is ice cold.

[Jughead Jones]

It is? Well, Archie must have used all the hot water.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, fine. Well, what do I do now?

[Jughead Jones]

Just let it run.

[Fred Andrews]

Just what?

[Jughead Jones]

Just let the water run. There'll be more hot water in a minute.

[Fred Andrews]

All right, let it run. I don't know why we can't have enough hot water around here. I like to. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, for gosh sakes.

[Archie Andrews]

She was dead. What was all the noise?

[Fred Andrews]

Just the water pipe. It was knocking.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, gosh, I thought the house was falling in.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, the house was not falling in the water. Mary. I was running the hot water faucet and the pipe started to clatter.

[Mary Andrews]

But it never happened before.

[Fred Andrews]

I know it, Mary, but it was just an ordinary pipe rattle. Evidently the washer is gone.

[Mary Andrews]

Washer?

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, the washer. The rubber washer that keeps the faucet from leaking. It must be worn out and the air is getting in there and making the pipe knock. It's just as simple as that.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, I see. Well, you better forget about your bath and I'll call the plumber first thing in the morning.

[Fred Andrews]

Mary, tomorrow is Sunday and you cannot get a plumber on Sunday. And I can fix a thing myself in half a minute. Mary, it's perfectly simple. All I have to do is go down to the basement and shut off the hot water, then open this faucet up and put in a new washer.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, I still think a plumber should do it.

[Archie Andrews]

Me, too, Dan.

[Fred Andrews]

Now, listen, I am not paying any plumbers to do this job. I can do it myself. I want a bath, and by gosh, I'm going to get one if I have to rebuild the house to do it.

[Jughead Jones]

Mary. Yes, Fred?

[Fred Andrews]

Is Archie up there in the bathroom?

[Jughead Jones]

Yes. Where are you?

[Fred Andrews]

I'm down in the cellar. I think I have the water shut off down here. Ask Archie to try the hot water and see if it's off.

[Jughead Jones]

But, Fred, won't those pipes start knocking again?

[Fred Andrews]

Larry, just do as I ask you.

[Jughead Jones]

All right, dear. Archie. Yes, Mom? Are you up in the bathroom?

[Archie Andrews]

Yes, Mom.

[Jughead Jones]

Well, try the hot water and see if it does.

[Archie Andrews]

See when those pipes start knocking again.

[Jughead Jones]

Archie, just do as I asked you. All right, Mom. Yes, friends? All right. AR Shut it off. Fred, maybe you ought to forget about it.

[Fred Andrews]

Don't be silly, Mary. It's only a matter of my finding right not to turn down here.

[Jughead Jones]

Where was it, dear?

[Archie Andrews]

It's under the boiler.

[Jughead Jones]

Under the boiler? Fred, how'd you ever get under there?

[Fred Andrews]

Never mind how I got under here. Just tell us to try the water again.

[Jughead Jones]

All right.

[Fred Andrews]

And Mary counts a hurry. I can't stay here all night.

[Jughead Jones]

All right, dear.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, dear.

[Jughead Jones]

Hello?

[Mary Andrews]

Hello, Mrs. Andrews?

[Fred Andrews]

This is Betty. Oh, hello, Betty.

[Mary Andrews]

Is Archie there? Yes, dear, but he can't come to the phone right now.

[Archie Andrews]

He's up in the.

[Mary Andrews]

He's very busy. Gosh, I wanted to ask him something very important. Well, maybe I can ask him for you, Betty. All right. Ask him what time he plans on getting to the dance. All right, dear. Hold on. Archie.

[Archie Andrews]

Yes, Mom?

[Jughead Jones]

Betty's on the phone.

[Archie Andrews]

Betty? What does she want?

[Jughead Jones]

She wants to know what time you're going to the dance, dear. 8:35. All right, I'll tell her.

[Mary Andrews]

Hello, Betty?

[Jughead Jones]

Mary?

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, Mrs. Andrews. Archie says 8:35 the. Oh, so late. Oh, gosh. Ask him if he couldn't make it a little earlier. We always get to dances late and miss half of it. I'd like to get there right on time. This one.

[Jughead Jones]

Well, Mary?

[Mary Andrews]

All right, Betty, I'll ask him. Hold on, Archie.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, Mom?

[Jughead Jones]

Betty wants to leave a little earlier, dear. She wants to get there on time for once.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, Mom.

[Mary Andrews]

Hello, Betty. Yes. Archie said all right, dear. Okay, swell, Mrs. Andrews. Thanks a lot. Bye. Goodbye, dear.

[Archie Andrews]

What did she say, Mom?

[Jughead Jones]

She said all right, dear. Okay.

[Archie Andrews]

Well, thanks.

[Jughead Jones]

Fred. Fred, is that you? Well, for pity's sake, what are you shouting about?

[Fred Andrews]

Shouting, Mary, I can barely talk anymore.

[Jughead Jones]

Why?

[Fred Andrews]

Because. Oh, Mary. Never mind. Is that water off or not?

[Jughead Jones]

Oh, I don't know.

[Mary Andrews]

I'll ask Archie.

[Archie Andrews]

You don't know?

[Fred Andrews]

What have you been doing? Taking a gallop home, Fred.

[Mary Andrews]

There's no need to be sarcastic.

[Jughead Jones]

Archie.

[Archie Andrews]

Yes, Mom?

[Jughead Jones]

Is the water off up there?

[Archie Andrews]

Sure, it's Been off for an hour.

[Jughead Jones]

Fred, the water's been off for an hour. Now, what do you want us to do?

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, nothing. I'll come up and fix the washer. I still like to know what went on up here while I was waiting to find out if the water was off or not.

[Mary Andrews]

Fred, it doesn't matter now.

[Fred Andrews]

No, I suppose it does, but I.

[Mary Andrews]

Still think you ought to let a plumber do the job.

[Fred Andrews]

Mary, may I remind you that I intend to take a bath tonight?

[Jughead Jones]

All right, dear. But don't say I didn't warn you.

[Fred Andrews]

I won't. Oh, told me. Everybody tells me. Does anybody ever ask me what I want to say about the whole thing? Oh, now what? Archie, are you in there?

[Archie Andrews]

Well, sure, dad. Don't you want me in here?

[Fred Andrews]

No, I don't want you in there. Open the door and let me get at that bathtub. Will you open it?

[Archie Andrews]

I never locked it.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, you must have. This door is locked, see?

[Archie Andrews]

Gee whiz, I don't know how it could have happened.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, I am not interested in how it happened. Just unlock it.

[Archie Andrews]

But, dad, the lock part isn't turned. The doorknob must be broken.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, I can. Oh, broken. Well, it couldn't be broken. I mean. I mean, I never heard of a lock just breaking. Oh, well, how am I going to get in to take my. Archie, are you sure?

[Archie Andrews]

Positive.

[Fred Andrews]

No. Oh, fine, fine.

[Jughead Jones]

What are you shouting about? Haven't you started your bat yet?

[Fred Andrews]

No, Mary, not yet. There's just a little something else I have to attend to first. Oh, nothing important. I just have to saw this bathroom door open, that's all.

[Archie Andrews]

Gee whiz, dad, how much longer?

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, just be quiet, Archie.

[Archie Andrews]

Gee whiz, I never knew wood could take so long to soar.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, Archie, your father's almost finished.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, just be. Let's be patient. I'm. I'm almost finished. All right.

[Archie Andrews]

Well, hurry up or I'll be late.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, I want to get in there just as much as you want to get out.

[Mary Andrews]

Archie, just be quiet.

[Fred Andrews]

Ah, there, there. It's finished, Dad.

[Archie Andrews]

I think it's finished.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, Archie, I know. Now, just see if you can knock that piece out, will you?

[Archie Andrews]

What piece?

[Fred Andrews]

The piece of wood around the doorknob that I just sawed.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, okay. Look out.

[Mary Andrews]

Yeah, that did it.

[Archie Andrews]

It fell off.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, sir. There we are. Hello. Hello. Archie, get your head out of that hole and open the door.

[Archie Andrews]

Boy, I bet not many houses have a hole in the bathroom door.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, I said to take your head out of that hole.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, I would. That's funny.

[Fred Andrews]

Come on, hurry up, Archie. Hurry up, Archie.

[Archie Andrews]

Whiz. Dad, don't you think I would if I could?

[Fred Andrews]

I want to take a. What do you mean, if you could? Archie, what do you mean?

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, for pity's sake. His head is stuck in there.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, boy, I'm sure stuck.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, now, how can his head be stuck? He got it in, didn't he?

[Archie Andrews]

Yeah, but it sure won't come out.

[Fred Andrews]

Listen, if it went in, it's got to come out. Whatever. Look, I'll see that.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, don't wash the boy's head that way.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, it's the only way to get him out.

[Archie Andrews]

I'll take quit at that. Don't.

[Jughead Jones]

Oh.

[Mary Andrews]

Hey.

[Fred Andrews]

All right. Guess that won't work. Well, now, let me see. There. There must be some way to do this.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, maybe you should take the hinges off the hinge.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, no, I can't. They're on the inside. Archie, can't you open that door?

[Archie Andrews]

How? It opens out and my shoulders are jammed against the wall.

[Fred Andrews]

Jammed again. Oh, yes, that's right. Well, she was.

[Archie Andrews]

I'll sure look silly wearing a bathroom door around my neck the rest of my life.

[Mary Andrews]

Fred, do something.

[Fred Andrews]

Do you have any ideas?

[Archie Andrews]

What'll people think when they see me wearing a door? Especially a bathroom door?

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, people won't think anything. They won't.

[Mary Andrews]

I think the boy's turning blue.

[Fred Andrews]

Blue? Now, Mary, don't get hysterical. He's not turning blue, just a little green.

[Mary Andrews]

Archie, be quiet.

[Fred Andrews]

Wait a minute. I know, I know. Archie, you must have put your head in sideways. The hole is wider that way.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, gee, maybe I did.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, so just try to take it out that way. Go on. Just turn your head sideways. That's it. That's it. Just. Just a little more.

[Archie Andrews]

If I turn it anymore, I won't know if I'm coming or going.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, Archie.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, come on, now. Just turn your head a little bit more. Here, I'll help.

[Archie Andrews]

Ouch.

[Jughead Jones]

Hey, Fred, you're wringing his neck.

[Fred Andrews]

That's the best thought of the evening. No. Come on, Archie.

[Archie Andrews]

Ow.

[Fred Andrews]

Turn.

[Archie Andrews]

Ouch.

[Jughead Jones]

Oh, I. Oh.

[Fred Andrews]

Ah.

[Archie Andrews]

I'm out.

[Fred Andrews]

There. That did it. Now, Archie, open that door and come out here.

[Mary Andrews]

Thank goodness.

[Fred Andrews]

Wow.

[Archie Andrews]

Am I still in one piece?

[Fred Andrews]

Of course you're still in one piece.

[Mary Andrews]

Thank goodness that's over.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes. Now, if you'll just let me get to that faucet, I'll put in a new washer and everything.

[Mary Andrews]

Fred, why don't you give up the.

[Fred Andrews]

Mary, I am not quitting now.

[Archie Andrews]

But dad, why don't you call a.

[Fred Andrews]

Just open this faucet and.

[Archie Andrews]

Gee.

[Jughead Jones]

Oh, dear.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, I thought you said the water was turned off.

[Archie Andrews]

Gee, it was off, dad.

[Mary Andrews]

Archie, are you sure?

[Archie Andrews]

Positive.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, no. How do these things happen to me? Here I go traipsing around the basement all evening and come up here and Archie's locked in, and he sticks his head into the hole. And then I can't get in the hole when I want to. I mean, the tub when I want to. And now I find the water is still running.

[Mary Andrews]

But, Fred, the pipes didn't knock.

[Archie Andrews]

Yeah, the pipes didn't knock the least bit that time.

[Fred Andrews]

Does that have to be explained to me? I. Oh, the knock. Oh. Oh, but if the washer's worn out, they've. Well, I mean, the last time I tried the pipes, they were. They were. They didn't knock, did they? No, they didn't. Well, then let's try that faucet again. By gosh, they don't knock. And just feel that water piping hot.

[Archie Andrews]

Well, that's well done.

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, dear. What did you do to fix it?

[Fred Andrews]

What did I do to fix it? What did I do? Yeah, well, you, you. You know, Mary, that, That's easy. I, I just went down to the basement and I, I, I, well, I, I, I mean, I, I, I. Well, I simply went under the boiler and, and while I was. Well, it's. It's a highly technical matter, Mary. I don't think I. Oh, isn't that the front door?

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, yeah.

[Archie Andrews]

Yeah, it is. I bet that's Jughead.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes. Yes, I, I bet it is. Jughead, you. You'd better hurry.

[Archie Andrews]

Yeah. Well, see you later, Mom. See you later. See you later, dad.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, see you later, Archie.

[Jughead Jones]

Hey, Archie. I'm coming, Judge. I'm coming.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, saved by the bell. Well, dear, I guess I can finally take that bath.

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, dear, I suppose so. But later, I wish you'd explain that highly technical matter of how you fix the water pipes. I'll be downstairs if you want me.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, all right, dear. Later. I, I'll explain it all later. Much later. Quite a night. Quite a night that saw water under the bridge. I suppose anything else can happen. Oh, I'm forever blowing a bubble. Well, that should be enough water, I think. Well, let's see how that is just right. Oh, that's fine. Oh, I'm forever blowing bubble. Oh, that's a little warm. Ah. Oh, this is just what the doctor order. Just what the doctor ordered. Soap and soak. Soap and soak. Soak and Soap. Soak. And soap. And soap. And soap. I can't say it. Can't say it. Soap. Where is the soap? Oh, Mary. Oh, Mary.

[Mary Andrews]

Fred.

[Jughead Jones]

What now?

[Fred Andrews]

Would you bring me a piece of soap, please?

[Jughead Jones]

It is a soap tray.

[Fred Andrews]

No, it isn't.

[Jughead Jones]

Well, it must be.

[Fred Andrews]

Mary, I say that there isn't a drop of soap in here. Archie must have used the last of it.

[Jughead Jones]

Oh, dear, that's terrible.

[Fred Andrews]

Mary, never mind the editorial comments. All I want is another piece of soap.

[Jughead Jones]

Well, that's just it, dear. There isn't any. I went to six stores today and couldn't get a single cake of soap. Fred, you'll just have to forget your bath.

[Fred Andrews]

Forget my. Oh, how do these things happen to me?

[Narrator]

Yes, when it comes to things being peaceful and quiet around the Andrews home, it's always no soap. You've been listening to another chapter of the Adventures of Archie Andrews written by Carl Jampel and based on the copyrighted feature appearing in Archie Comics Magazine. Archie is played by Bob Hastings, Jughead by Harlan Stone, Mrs. Andrews by Alice Yorman, dad by Ian Martin, Veronica and Betty by Gloria Mann and Rosemary Rice. This program is directed by Kenneth McGregor. But now for another glimpse of the Andrews later that night. Mom and dad have just gotten into bed.

[Fred Andrews]

Good night, dear. Good night.

[Mary Andrews]

Good night, Fred.

[Fred Andrews]

But I still say the whole thing was Archie's fault.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, Fred, let's forget it. It doesn't really matter.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, all right, but it does matter. Good night, dear. Good night.

[Mary Andrews]

Good night, dear.

[Fred Andrews]

Mom. Mom.

[Archie Andrews]

Dad.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, Archie, for pity's sake, don't make so much noise.

[Fred Andrews]

Are you home already?

[Archie Andrews]

Yop. And boy, did I have a swell time.

[Mary Andrews]

Really?

[Archie Andrews]

And how. Veronica and I won the jitterbug contest. But that dance committee. You'd think they'd spend a little money on prizes.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, didn't you get any prizes?

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, yeah. Veronica got a bottle of perfume.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, that's nice.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, sure. But you know what I got stuck with now?

[Fred Andrews]

What?

[Archie Andrews]

Bath soap. Plain old bath soap.

[Fred Andrews]

What?

[Jughead Jones]

Oh, no.

[Narrator]

Listen. Next week for more of the Merry Adventures of Archie Andrews. This is Bob Sherry wishing you a very pleasant weekend.

[Fred Andrews]

So long.

[Narrator]

This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.