Archie Andrews 48-08-21 Going on a Picnic

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – "Archie Andrews 48-08-21 Going on a Picnic"

Episode Overview

In the delightful episode of Harold's Old Time Radio titled "Archie Andrews 48-08-21 Going on a Picnic," listeners are treated to a humorous and heartwarming portrayal of the Andrews family's attempt to enjoy a serene picnic day. Through a series of comedic mishaps and family dynamics, the episode captures the quintessential charm of the Golden Age of Radio entertainment.

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Planning the Picnic

The episode begins with Archie Andrews eagerly proposing a picnic to his parents, Fred and Mary Andrews. His enthusiasm sets the stage for the day's adventure.

• Archie Andrews [00:21]: "What do you want? Come on out right away, Jughead. It's a matter of life or death."

Initially, Fred Andrews takes the initiative to organize a family picnic, suggesting Rock Hill as the ideal location.

• Fred Andrews [03:00]: "It's such a lovely day and we haven't been on a picnic this year. And I thought it'd be fun if we all got in the car and had lunch out at Rock Hill."

Mary Andrews, however, expresses reluctance, highlighting typical household negotiations.

• Mary Andrews [03:08]: "I certainly do. First of all, I am starved right now. Second of all, I see no point in eating out at Rock Hill with the ants and the mosquitoes when I can eat in the comfort of my own dining room..."

Despite her reservations, Mary's hunger and Archie's enthusiasm convince her to join the picnic plans.

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Arrival at Rock Hill and Setting Up

The Andrews family arrives at Rock Hill, a spot that promises natural beauty but quickly becomes the backdrop for ensuing chaos.

• Fred Andrews [07:58]: "Certainly is. My, isn't it lovely? Just look at the trees and the grass and the hill."

As they begin setting up, Archie spots Jughead, leading to a series of misunderstandings and frantic setups.

• Archie Andrews [08:22]: "What do we do?"

• Mary Andrews [09:36]: "Well, let's go over there near the creek."

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Misadventures and Obstacles

The picnic is fraught with a series of humorous obstacles:

1. The Mud Turtle Incident:

   • While attempting to create a comfortable seating arrangement, Mary mistakes a turtle for a moving rock, causing alarm.
     • Mary Andrews [16:07]: "I don't know, dear, but I could have sworn this stone I'm sitting on just moved."
     • Archie Andrews [16:18]: "It's moving."
     • Mary Andrews [16:30]: "Yes, Archie, your father thought it was [a cow]."

2. Jughead's Skunk Encounter:

   • Jughead unintentionally engages with a skunk, resulting in an unpleasant odor that disrupts the picnic.
     • Jughead Jones [18:34]: "I had a little argument with a skunk. The skunk won and howl."
     • Mary Andrews [19:04]: "Oh, Jughead, that is absolutely the worst odor I've ever smelled."

3. Rainfall and Shelter:

   • A sudden sun shower forces the family to seek shelter under a blanket, adding to the day's challenges.
     • Archie Andrews [13:08]: "Mom, it's raining."
     • Mary Andrews [13:39]: "I'll hold this blanket over our heads and everybody get under it like a tent."

4. Ant Invasion:

   • Archie's encounter with an ant hill results in him getting ants on his clothes, further complicating their picnic plans.
     • Archie Andrews [20:31]: "I got the itches all over."
     • Mary Andrews [20:43]: "Archie, stop squirming so I can get these ants off you."

Throughout these misadventures, the family's resilience and humor shine, portraying the Andrews as relatable and lovable characters.

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Picnic's Conclusion

As the day unfolds, the accumulation of mishaps leads to the ultimate realization that the picnic is not going as planned. The family's attempts to salvage the day end with a humorous twist.

• Fred Andrews [26:19]: "This lunch basket feels awfully light for..."
• Archie Andrews [26:27]: "Oh, no."

In a fitting end to their day's adventure, the family returns home empty-handed but united, deciding to enjoy their meal in the comfort of their dining room after a day filled with laughter and unexpected events.

• Mary Andrews [28:36]: "Oh, well, Mary, now I feel a little better."
• Archie Andrews [28:45]: "I'll help Mom."

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Character Dynamics and Themes

The episode masterfully showcases the dynamics between the Andrews family members:

• Archie Andrews embodies youthful enthusiasm and a knack for finding trouble, often leading to the day's comedic scenarios.
• Fred Andrews represents the well-meaning but sometimes hapless father figure, striving to create memorable family experiences.
• Mary Andrews balances practicality with patience, handling the family's mishaps with grace and humor.
• Jughead Jones adds an element of unpredictability, his actions inadvertently causing both chaos and comic relief.

Notable Themes:

• Family Bonding: Despite the day's challenges, the Andrews family's interactions highlight the enduring bonds of family.
• Humor in Adversity: The episode emphasizes finding humor in unexpected setbacks, a hallmark of classic radio comedies.
• Rustic Escapades: The setting of Rock Hill provides a timeless backdrop for adventures that resonate across generations.

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Conclusion

"Going on a Picnic" is a testament to the enduring appeal of Archie Andrews stories, blending humor, relatable family scenarios, and the charm of bygone radio entertainment. Listeners are left with a warm sense of nostalgia, reminding them of the simple joys and unexpected turns that make family outings memorable.

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Notable Quotes:

• Archie Andrews [03:00]: "We'll go on a picnic some other time. We are definitely not going to any picnic today."
• Mary Andrews [05:35]: "Don't you like me anymore, Archie?"
• Jughead Jones [18:41]: "I had a little argument with a skunk. The skunk won and howl."
• Archie Andrews [20:31]: "I got the itches all over."

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Final Thoughts

This episode encapsulates the essence of Archie Andrews narratives—familial love, mischievous adventures, and the humor that arises from everyday situations. Through its engaging storytelling and memorable characters, "Going on a Picnic" invites listeners to laugh, reminisce, and appreciate the timeless charm of radio storytelling.

Transcript

[Archie Andrews]

What do you want? Come on out right away, Jughead. It's a matter of life or death.

[Narrator]

Yes. There he is again. The oaths of millions of readers of Archie Comics magazine. Oh, and love so well. Brought to you by Swift and Company.

[Mary Andrews]

Makers of Swift Premium Frank, Archie Andrews.

[Narrator]

And all his gang. For your guarantee of protection, Swift's Premium Franks now come to you cellophane wrapped in handy 1 pound packages made fresh daily in Swift kitchens from coast to coast. Swift's Premium Franks are then wrapped in the new handy sanitary Flavor Saver pack and brought to you at the very peak of their tantalizing flavor with all their natural goodness sealed in. So, kids, tell your mom that you want Swift's Premium Franks. And mom, get some today. They're delicious. And you'll be glad to know that Swift's Premium Franks are economical. There's no waste to them. Every bite is all nourishment, all dinner quality meat. Ask for them today. Swift's Premium franks in the 1 pound cellophane package. And now for our weekly visit to Riverdale. It's a sunny Saturday morning as we look in on the Andrews home and we find Mrs. Andrews working in the kitchen.

[Fred Andrews]

Here was a boy very strange and cheer they say he wanders very far yes, dear?

[Archie Andrews]

Where are you?

[Fred Andrews]

I'm the kitchen.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, all right, dear.

[Fred Andrews]

Did you get the grass all cut, dear?

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, dear, I certainly did. And there. You know something?

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, dear?

[Narrator]

I am starved.

[Mary Andrews]

You know, you can really work up an appetite more.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, don't worry, dear. We'll eat just as soon as we get to Rock Hill.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, that's swell. I'm so hungry I can get to.

[Archie Andrews]

Where?

[Fred Andrews]

Rock Hill.

[Mary Andrews]

Right. Mary. What?

[Archie Andrews]

What's Rock Hill got to do with my lunch?

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, dear, I forgot to tell you. I thought we'd go on a picnic lunch today.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, all right. For a minute, I thought you. Picnic, Mary. What picnic?

[Fred Andrews]

Our picnic. It's such a lovely day and we haven't been on a picnic this year. And I thought it'd be fun if we all got in the car and had lunch out at Rock Hill.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, we're all going on a picnic. But nobody asked me if I even want to go.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, Fred, I meant to, but I forgot. You don't mind going, do you, Mary?

[Mary Andrews]

I certainly do. First of all, I am starved right now. Second of all, I see no point in eating out at Rock Hill with the ants and the mosquitoes when I can eat in the comfort of my own dining room. Third of all, you might ask me if I Want to go before you make your plans? And fourth of all, as I said, first of all, I'm starved right now.

[Fred Andrews]

But, Fred, I can get everything.

[Mary Andrews]

Mary, no buts about it. We'll go on a picnic some other time. We are definitely not going to any picnic today.

[Archie Andrews]

Well, when did the picnic begin?

[Narrator]

Oh, great.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, hiya, dad. Dad, did mom tell you about the picnic? Yes, Isn't that a swell idea? Yes, I thought of it all by myself.

[Mary Andrews]

All right, Archie, so you thought of it all by yourself. We'll give you a gold star. But it so happens, Archie, we are not going on any.

[Fred Andrews]

Fred, can't you see how eager the boy is?

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, Mary, that boy is always eager for anything.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, dear, but I told him we could go on a picnic and he's got his heart all set on it now. You're not going to disappoint him, are you?

[Mary Andrews]

But, Mary, I'm hung. Oh, Mia, what's the use? I can't argue with both of you. You decided I'm going on a picnic. I might just as well get used to the idea that I'm going on a picnic.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, gee, thanks, dad. We'll have a swell time. We'll go.

[Fred Andrews]

All right, Archie, never mind that right now. Did you find a picnic that.

[Archie Andrews]

Yes, mom, right here.

[Mary Andrews]

Good.

[Fred Andrews]

Now, Archie, the food is right over there. You put it in the lunch basket. And Fred, you better change your clothes. Put on a sports shirt and slacks, dear.

[Mary Andrews]

All right, dear, but for Pete's sake, hurry up.

[Archie Andrews]

You know, the sooner I eat, the better I like.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, Freddy, we'll be ready to leave as soon as you are. Now, Archie, I want you. Oh, dear. Archie, go see who that is.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, Mom, But I sure can't wait to get started on this picnic. See, Miss Betty.

[Fred Andrews]

Hello, Archie. How are you?

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, I'm good.

[Fred Andrews]

What you doing, huh?

[Archie Andrews]

Well, I was.

[Fred Andrews]

I thought maybe we could go swimming or something.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, I could.

[Fred Andrews]

Wonderful day for swimmin. You think so, Archie? Yes, and I just love to go swimming, Betty. Especially with you, Betty. I bet the whole gang will be out at the lake today, and we have loads and loads and loads of fun. Golly, you're not saying very much. Archie. Something wrong?

[Archie Andrews]

Betty? Look, are you mad at me? Betty?

[Fred Andrews]

Did I say something I shouldn't have?

[Archie Andrews]

Well, I. Don't you like me anymore, Archie? Betty, listen, I like you very much.

[Fred Andrews]

You do? Betty, look, you haven't said that to.

[Archie Andrews]

Me in the longest time. Well, you don't.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, he likes.

[Archie Andrews]

Betty, look, I like you. I like the day I Like swimming. And I'd like to go swimming with you today, but I can't.

[Fred Andrews]

Why not?

[Archie Andrews]

Because my folks and I are going on a picnic out at Rock Hill and we're leaving right away. Oh, well, I'm awful sorry, Betty.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, I'm sorry, too.

[Archie Andrews]

Maybe we can go swimming some other time. I gotta go now, Betty, but thanks for the invitation.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, that's okay, Archie. Have a nice time at Rock Hill.

[Archie Andrews]

Thanks, Betty. I will.

[Fred Andrews]

Bye now. Bye. Can you run upstairs and get the old tablecloth out of the linen closet, dear? We'll need that to spread on the grass.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, Mom.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, I'm all set to go. You ready, dear?

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, dear, in just about two seconds.

[Mary Andrews]

Good. And, Mary, you know what? What? I've decided that going on a picnic isn't such a bad idea after all. An afternoon with no phone calls, no visitors. Well, it'll do me good.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, dear, a quiet afternoon will be nice.

[Mary Andrews]

It sure will. So let's go. And whatever you do, don't tell anyone where we're going.

[Narrator]

So Mr. Andrews thinks he's going to spend a nice, quiet afternoon. He seems to have forgotten that Archie is going along. But no matter who goes along on your picnic, here's a great picnic suggestion. Swift's Premium Franks. Perfect for picnics. Each pound of plump, delicious Swift's Premium Franks is wrapped in the handy cellophane package that makes them easy to carry and extra fresh. Yes, you can be sure, doubly sure, that Swift's Premium Franks are fresh. For Swift's Premium Franks are made fresh daily in swift kitchens from coast to coast, then wrapped in the flavor saver pack that seals in all the natural goodness of each juicy frank. Made of all dinner quality meat. Swift's Premium Franks are as rich in nourishment and energizing protein as the most expensive cuts of meat. So ask for them by name, the franks of all dinner quality meat. Swift's Premium Franks. Now back to Archie and his mother and father. We find them just arriving at Rock Hill, all set for the big picnic.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, folks, here we are. Oh, gee.

[Archie Andrews]

Good old Rock Hill. Oh, it's a long time since we've been out here.

[Fred Andrews]

Certainly is. My, isn't it lovely? Just look at the trees and the grass and the hill.

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, it's pretty, all right. Very pretty.

[Fred Andrews]

Let's eat, Fred.

[Mary Andrews]

We will, we will.

[Fred Andrews]

But we have to get settled first, don't we?

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, yes, I suppose so.

[Archie Andrews]

But I see where. Jughead. Jughead.

[Mary Andrews]

Jughead.

[Archie Andrews]

What, you expect Elsie the cow?

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, Jughead. I expected to see Elsie the cow before I expected to see you. What incarnation are you doing here?

[Archie Andrews]

Going on a picnic. Gee whiz, you are, Jug. Well, that's funny. So are we. That's the picnic I'm going on, huh, Jughead?

[Mary Andrews]

Who told you? Well, I was. Archie, did you tell Jughead we were coming out here?

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, no, Dad, I certainly did not. Did I, Jug? No, I.

[Fred Andrews]

There, you see, dad?

[Mary Andrews]

Well, I still want to know.

[Fred Andrews]

How's the difference. The boy's here now, and what harm if he joins our picnic?

[Archie Andrews]

What harm?

[Mary Andrews]

What harm? Mary, that boy causes enough trouble when he just visits at our house. Imagine what he can do in a picnic.

[Fred Andrews]

Fred, don't be silly. We have enough to eat for everyone. So let's just get settled and start picnicking instead of arguing.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, me. All right. You're all right. The sooner we eat, the better. Archie, spit out the tablecloth and blanket.

[Fred Andrews]

Red, you're not going to eat right here, are you?

[Mary Andrews]

Why not?

[Fred Andrews]

Well, I don't know. We ought to find a nicer spot than this. This is some near the road.

[Mary Andrews]

All right, then let's go over to that little hill there.

[Fred Andrews]

All right, dear. That looks like a lovely spot.

[Archie Andrews]

Yeah, but there's poison ivy over there.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, let's go over there near the creek.

[Archie Andrews]

Yeah, that's a good spot. There's mesquite over there.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, let's go over there in that clear piece of ground.

[Fred Andrews]

All right, dear, but there's no shade over there.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, Mr. Jughead, look. Is there any place at all around here that suits you?

[Archie Andrews]

Gee whiz, Mr. Anders, I'm just looking after your comfort. If you want to get poisonized, you want to get bitten by Mesquis. I don't. You're a roast in the sun item.

[Mary Andrews]

All right. Jug's head. So you don't care. Will you please be quiet?

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, me?

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, you. Now, where would you like to have our picnic?

[Archie Andrews]

Well, right here's not bad.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, me. That's what I said. We could have decided that five minutes ago and been eating by now.

[Fred Andrews]

Fred, we'll eat soon enough. Now, you spread the tablecloth, and Archie, open a suitcase and we'll get the dishes and cups out.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, Mom.

[Mary Andrews]

Jughead, take the other end of the tablecloth.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, boy.

[Fred Andrews]

Jug, what's the matter?

[Archie Andrews]

A bulb. What? Right over there. Big bull. Run, Fee.

[Jughead Jones]

Alive.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, Bo.

[Archie Andrews]

Coming this way. What do we do?

[Mary Andrews]

Go. Run, ner.

[Archie Andrews]

Run like the.

[Mary Andrews]

Money. I'm over. Climb up with the fence. I'll lift you down. I got you biker.

[Jughead Jones]

Fred.

[Archie Andrews]

Andrew, did you have to drop me?

[Mary Andrews]

Harry, I didn't drop you.

[Archie Andrews]

I fell. And get off my stomach. Here, mom, take my hand. There.

[Fred Andrews]

Thank you, dear. Oh, Fred, did I hurt you?

[Mary Andrews]

You didn't do me any good. The main thing is we're safe here.

[Archie Andrews]

Yeah, and a good thing here.

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, sir. I'd like to see that bull just try and. Jughead.

[Archie Andrews]

Huh?

[Mary Andrews]

Jughead, is that by any chance the bull you saw?

[Archie Andrews]

Huh?

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, for pity's sake, Jughead. That's only a cow.

[Archie Andrews]

A cow?

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, Jughead, a big, fat, tired, old friendly cow.

[Archie Andrews]

Gee whiz, Jughead. How the dickens could you mistake that.

[Mary Andrews]

Old cow for a bum?

[Archie Andrews]

I don't know. I guess I didn't see the faucet jump ahead.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, great. Mary, I told you that boy would give us trouble.

[Fred Andrews]

I. Fred, what's the difference? Getting angry isn't going to help any. It's all over and done with. So let's just forget it and go back to where our things are. There's no harm done.

[Mary Andrews]

No harm done? Barry, you think getting half scared, running like a streak of lightning, scrambling over a fence and then having you fall flat on my stomach is no harm done?

[Fred Andrews]

Fred, I said forget it.

[Archie Andrews]

Yeah, dad, come on, let's go back. There's a gate in the fence right here.

[Mary Andrews]

All right, I won't say another word. Open that gate, Archie, and we'll go back.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, dad.

[Mary Andrews]

All right. Be sure you close it after us and Jughead for the rest of the afternoon. If you see anything alive, even if it's just a beetle, you look at it twice before you start screaming it's a bull.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay?

[Mary Andrews]

Okay. Now, Mary, for Pete's sake, let's eat.

[Fred Andrews]

In a minute. Here, finish fixing that tablecloth. And, Archie, get the suitcase open.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, Mom.

[Fred Andrews]

Jughead, set out those plates and cups and some silverware. Yes, Mrs. Andrew. Archie, hand me the lunch basket. I'll get the food out and then we can eat.

[Mary Andrews]

Good. It's about time we.

[Archie Andrews]

Thunder.

[Fred Andrews]

Thunder.

[Jughead Jones]

Oh, yeah.

[Archie Andrews]

Mom, it's raining.

[Jughead Jones]

Oh, dear.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, boy.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, no. Look, everybody under that tree.

[Fred Andrews]

But, Fred, we can't leave all these things here.

[Mary Andrews]

All right, everybody grab something quick.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, boy, it would rain right now. I got the lunch.

[Fred Andrews]

I'll take the tablecloth.

[Mary Andrews]

I got the blanket.

[Archie Andrews]

I got the Hurry up, hurry up tree.

[Mary Andrews]

Hurry up in the house.

[Jughead Jones]

Hurry up.

[Mary Andrews]

All right, here, here. Here's the tree. Now, everybody get close to the car.

[Jughead Jones]

Over. Chris, we're still getting wet.

[Archie Andrews]

Yeah, but, dad, maybe we better run for the car.

[Mary Andrews]

Not until this rain lets up. Now, quick, I'll hold this blanket over our heads and everybody get under it like a tent.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay.

[Mary Andrews]

Here. Here, Mary, get under there.

[Fred Andrews]

All right, hold it higher.

[Archie Andrews]

Let me under, John, quick. Push me, John.

[Fred Andrews]

Do what you think.

[Archie Andrews]

I want to get wet.

[Mary Andrews]

All right, you two, stop squaddling. Now, is everybody under the blank out there? Well, we're all right here now. We can just stay here until that rain stops. Yes, sir. Good thing I thought of this tent idea. Yes, sir. Let it rain.

[Archie Andrews]

Let it.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, good grief.

[Fred Andrews]

Gee whis.

[Archie Andrews]

It stopped. Oh, for pity sake. Gee whiz. It was just a sun shower.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, how do you like that? We're all set for a picnic. It rains like crazy. We get soaked to the skin and now it stops.

[Fred Andrews]

Well, Fred, what's the difference? In that sun, we'll dry out in no time and we can still have our picnic.

[Archie Andrews]

Yes, we can still have our picnic.

[Mary Andrews]

If you don't mind sitting on wet dress.

[Fred Andrews]

What?

[Mary Andrews]

Mary, you don't think the rain fell only on us, do you?

[Archie Andrews]

Just look.

[Mary Andrews]

Everything's sopping wet. What kind of a picnic can we have now?

[Fred Andrews]

Wet. Well, Fred, I have an idea. Idea, huh? You see that big flat rock over there?

[Mary Andrews]

Yes.

[Fred Andrews]

We can just put our dishes out on that like a table and put some rocks around it and sit on them, and we'll be even more comfortable than we would have been sitting on the grass.

[Archie Andrews]

Well, I don't know, dad. No sense going home now that we're out here.

[Mary Andrews]

All right, we'll go have a picnic on that rock. But the only reason I agree is because I'm so hungry I could.

[Fred Andrews]

Fred, we'll eat in just a minute. Now, boys, bring everything over to that flat rock.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, Mom. Boy, I'm sure glad you thought of that. Yeah, but I'm sure wet.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, Jughead, while Mrs. Andrews and I set out all the things, you and I should go look for some dry wood.

[Archie Andrews]

Huh?

[Fred Andrews]

Huh?

[Mary Andrews]

Well, we'll build a fire, and that way we get dry quicker.

[Archie Andrews]

Gee, that's a good idea, too, dad. Come on, Jug. Okay, but where are we gonna find dry wood after that rain, Jug, you.

[Mary Andrews]

Can find something under a log or bush or tree or something. Now, you go look over there. Archie, you go look over that way.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, dad. Come on, Jug. I am, I am.

[Mary Andrews]

Now, I'm going to sit down for a minute and catch my breath. Wow.

[Fred Andrews]

Fred, don't sit on the wet breath.

[Mary Andrews]

I won't, dear.

[Archie Andrews]

I won't.

[Mary Andrews]

I'll sit down on this small stone right here. Oh, That's Mary. You know, I think this is going to work out after all.

[Fred Andrews]

I. Well, friend, what is it?

[Mary Andrews]

I don't know, dear, but I could have sworn this stone I'm sitting on just moved.

[Fred Andrews]

Fred, don't be silly. How can a stone.

[Mary Andrews]

Legs.

[Fred Andrews]

It's moving.

[Archie Andrews]

It's moving.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, Mary, I. Mary, I. Mary, come.

[Archie Andrews]

Down off that rock.

[Mary Andrews]

It's only a turtle.

[Fred Andrews]

A turtle?

[Mary Andrews]

Yes. Here. Yes, a big old mud turtle. There, you see?

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, for pity's sake, Fred Andrews, you scared me half to death hitting on a turtle.

[Mary Andrews]

Mary, I don't think the turtle liked it either, but I could have sworn that was a rock. It was lying right there and it looked like what I got in there.

[Archie Andrews]

Look at the turtle.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, Archie, your father thought it was.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, gee whiz, isn't it pretty?

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, put that turtle down.

[Archie Andrews]

I just want to see it. Mom, she.

[Mary Andrews]

You a pretty little tiger.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, will you stop petting that turtle?

[Archie Andrews]

Mom, it's just a nice old turtle. Nothing to be. Oh, he bit me.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, dear, it's a snapping turtle.

[Archie Andrews]

My finger. Make him let go.

[Fred Andrews]

Friend, do something.

[Archie Andrews]

Get him off me. I gotta use this finger again. I can't go around wearing a turtle.

[Mary Andrews]

Archie, get your finger out of his mouth.

[Archie Andrews]

Dad, you better talk to the taters.

[Fred Andrews]

My finger hit him with a stick.

[Mary Andrews]

Who? Archie.

[Jughead Jones]

No.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, a turtle.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, all right, Archie, hold out your head.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, but hurry up. I will. No, my wrist. Oh, my wrist.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, good grief, I missed. Archie, hold him out. I'll hit him again. Oh, no, you don't.

[Archie Andrews]

You nearly broke my. She win.

[Mary Andrews]

What happened?

[Archie Andrews]

The turtle let go of my finger.

[Narrator]

Oh, her any day.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, is your finger all right?

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, sure, Mom. He didn't hurt me. It just felt funny to have him.

[Fred Andrews]

Hanging on that way.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, great. Well, anyway. Anyway, he's off your finger now. Shoe turtle.

[Archie Andrews]

Scat.

[Fred Andrews]

Thank goodness that's over. Fred Andrews, the next time you sit down, please look what you're sitting on.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, Barry, how can. I mean, I did look here, but.

[Archie Andrews]

I thought it was a rock. Hey, everybody, look at all the wood I got.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, fine, fine. Jughead. That's Jughead, huh? Jughead, you smell.

[Archie Andrews]

Fred?

[Mary Andrews]

Well, he does, Mary. Don't you smell it?

[Fred Andrews]

Fred, I don't smell a singer. Oh, dear.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, boy, you sure do, Chuck.

[Mary Andrews]

Jughead, what happened to you?

[Archie Andrews]

I had a little argument with a skunk. The skunk won and how.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, for pity's sake.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, Jughead, that is absolutely the worst odor I've ever smelled.

[Archie Andrews]

That's a skunk's. Foil, not mine.

[Mary Andrews]

I know it, but can't you go wash or something?

[Fred Andrews]

Fred, that won't help. Bad odor will cling to his clothes for weeks.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, great. Well, Jughead, you'll just have to go stand over there.

[Archie Andrews]

Well, I want to stay here.

[Mary Andrews]

Jughead, how would you like to have.

[Archie Andrews]

To stand over there?

[Mary Andrews]

Jughead.

[Archie Andrews]

Skunk to get me all smelly, you mean. A skunk you'll smell, too.

[Mary Andrews]

John Hedwig, please stop arguing with me and go stand over there before I suffocate. We can't have a picnic with a skunk. D me with. With that odor.

[Archie Andrews]

What about me? I want to eat, too.

[Mary Andrews]

You'll eat. We'll throw you a sandwich. Go ahead, Stand over there. Way over there with.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay. A fine thing. Fresh air at last.

[Fred Andrews]

Fred, you shouldn't have been so harsh with a boy. He couldn't help it.

[Mary Andrews]

I know he couldn't help it, but does that mean I had to smell it? Now, for Pete's sake, let's eat before I starve to death.

[Fred Andrews]

All right, Fred, we'll eat right now. Just sit down and try not to pick another turtle.

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, dear. And there's no need for sarcasm.

[Fred Andrews]

Archie, you sit on too much. Don't sit on the wet grass.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, I won't, Mom.

[Archie Andrews]

There's a nice little sand hill right here.

[Fred Andrews]

Good. Now, Archie, as soon as we get the dishes and cups all laid out, we'll be all set. Fred, would you. Fred, would you? Archie, what on earth's the matter with you?

[Archie Andrews]

I don't know, mom, but something sure tickles.

[Fred Andrews]

Something what?

[Archie Andrews]

Tick them.

[Fred Andrews]

What's tickling you?

[Archie Andrews]

I don't know, mom, but I got the itches all over.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, good grief. Mary, look. The boy sat on an ant hill.

[Fred Andrews]

An ant hill and hundreds of ants.

[Archie Andrews]

It feels like there's a few uncles, too. Oh, friend, quick, help me brush them off.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, he's colored with them. Archie, stop squirming so I can get these ants off you.

[Archie Andrews]

Get the ant off me, I'll stop.

[Narrator]

Where are you going?

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, Craig, there's a bunch on his back.

[Archie Andrews]

Kill him. She meant kill the ants, not me.

[Jughead Jones]

What's going on over there?

[Archie Andrews]

I got ants in my pants.

[Mary Andrews]

Archie.

[Archie Andrews]

You mean they've gotten under your clothing? And how.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, good reef. Well, look, Archie, the only thing to do is to take your clothes off and brush them out.

[Archie Andrews]

Take my clothes off here? Well, Archie, right out in the open. Archie, right where a cow or something might see me.

[Mary Andrews]

I didn't mean right out here.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, where did you mean go over.

[Mary Andrews]

There in those bushes? You'll have all the privacy in the world. Oh, gee.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, dad. But I sure didn't expect to get undressed on a picnic.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, Miss Mary, how do these things happen to us? All I want to do is have a picnic, that's all. Just eat something. But first Jughead, then the rain, then Jughead and the skunk.

[Fred Andrews]

No, Fred, there's no point in your getting all upset over nothing. I'm sure the worst is over. And as soon as Archie gets the ants out of his clothing, we'll go ahead with a picnic. Now, nothing else is going to happen, dear.

[Mary Andrews]

Nothing else could.

[Archie Andrews]

Boy, you're cold in here without any clothes on.

[Mary Andrews]

Archie, never mind the weather report, and hurry up. I'm hungry.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, Dan, okay.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, that boy. Mary, sometimes I say, look. What now?

[Fred Andrews]

A car just stopped over there.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, fine. That's all we need is another bunch of picnickers. Somebody with a dozen kids and a few dogs.

[Fred Andrews]

This is another bunch of picnickers. It's Veronica.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, all right, for a minute.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, Veronica.

[Archie Andrews]

Mom, did you say Veronica? Yes, dear.

[Fred Andrews]

Veronica.

[Archie Andrews]

She went. I'll be right there. I'm almost dressed.

[Mary Andrews]

Mary, I.

[Archie Andrews]

Wait, there's Veronica.

[Mary Andrews]

Jughead, we know that.

[Fred Andrews]

Hello, Mrs. Andrews. Hello, dear. Hello, Mr. Andrews.

[Mary Andrews]

Hello, Veronica.

[Archie Andrews]

Hello, Veronica.

[Fred Andrews]

My goodness, Jughead, what are you all doing way over there?

[Archie Andrews]

I smell.

[Jughead Jones]

What?

[Fred Andrews]

Jughead had a little trouble with a skunk, Veronica, and we're sort of airing him out. Oh, I see.

[Mary Andrews]

Veronica, if you don't mind my asking, what are you doing out here anyway?

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, I heard you folks were having a picnic here at Rock Hill, and so I decided I'd drive out and join you.

[Mary Andrews]

I see. Mary, was this picnic of ours front page news at the Gazette? Of what? First Jughead, then Veronica, Fred.

[Fred Andrews]

What's the difference? Do you want to eat or do you want to play detective?

[Mary Andrews]

Eat, by all means.

[Archie Andrews]

All right.

[Fred Andrews]

Jen.

[Archie Andrews]

Hiya, Veronica.

[Fred Andrews]

Hello, Archie.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, great.

[Fred Andrews]

Hi, y' all. Archie.

[Mary Andrews]

Archie.

[Fred Andrews]

I'm awful glad to see Archie. See you.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, fine. Archie, didn't you get all the ants out of your pet clothes?

[Archie Andrews]

Sure, dad.

[Mary Andrews]

All right, then, stop giggling. And if we're ever going to have a picnic, let.

[Archie Andrews]

Dear, look, another car. What?

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, I'm glad we decided to. To come out to nice, quiet, secluded Rock Hill. We're on a picnic.

[Archie Andrews]

She wizards. Betty.

[Fred Andrews]

Hello, everybody.

[Archie Andrews]

Hi.

[Mary Andrews]

Hello, Betty.

[Jughead Jones]

Hello, Betty.

[Archie Andrews]

Golly.

[Fred Andrews]

What's Jughead doing way over there?

[Archie Andrews]

Well, he met a skunk and we had to give him the air.

[Fred Andrews]

Golly. Hello, Betty.

[Archie Andrews]

Veronica.

[Fred Andrews]

What are you doing here? Well, after you told me about the picnic, I decided I'd drive out. You mind? Well, no, of course not. Oh, dear. Fred, the cow again.

[Mary Andrews]

Now, Mary, don't get excited. Dad, I just.

[Archie Andrews]

That old cow, dad.

[Fred Andrews]

And she won't hurt you, Daddy.

[Mary Andrews]

Well, what is it?

[Archie Andrews]

There's another cow over here.

[Mary Andrews]

Another cow?

[Fred Andrews]

My goodness.

[Mary Andrews]

Now, don't get excited. Two cows won't.

[Fred Andrews]

Here comes another one.

[Mary Andrews]

Benny, I. Oh, dear. Mary, please.

[Archie Andrews]

Another one. Archie, with all coming from. You can't do that.

[Jughead Jones]

Quiet, quiet, quiet.

[Mary Andrews]

And you too.

[Archie Andrews]

She wished that even scared the cows away.

[Mary Andrews]

Yes, and a good thing. Now, you listen to me, all of you. This nonsense has gone far enough. Too far, in fact.

[Archie Andrews]

So have the cows.

[Mary Andrews]

Just be quiet. Now, I have had just about enough of this. All afternoon we've been running around, moving here, moving there, sitting on hurdles, getting visitors and chasing cows.

[Archie Andrews]

Don't forget the skunk.

[Mary Andrews]

I wish I could. Now, Jughead, for the last time, you go stand over there so I can breathe.

[Archie Andrews]

Yes, Mr. Rand.

[Mary Andrews]

And I don't want to peep out of you two girls.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, Mr. Andrew.

[Mary Andrews]

And the same goes for you, Archie, you hear?

[Archie Andrews]

Yes, dad.

[Mary Andrews]

And Mary, I don't care if you're set up yet or not, but I want to eat right here and now.

[Fred Andrews]

Yes, dear. Archie, hand me the lunch basket and we'll all eat.

[Archie Andrews]

Okay, Mom. Here you are.

[Fred Andrews]

Thank you, dear. Well, that's funny.

[Mary Andrews]

What's funny?

[Fred Andrews]

This lunch basket feels awfully light for. Oh, for pity sakes. We forgot the food.

[Mary Andrews]

Forgot the.

[Archie Andrews]

Oh, no.

[Narrator]

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[Mary Andrews]

Oh, well, Mary, now I feel a little better.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, that's good, dear. And now, if you're through eating, I'll put these picnic things away.

[Archie Andrews]

I'll help Mom.

[Fred Andrews]

Oh, that's all right, dear. I'll just put this empty lunch basket in the closet and.

[Mary Andrews]

Mary, what is it?

[Fred Andrews]

Look in the lunch basket.

[Archie Andrews]

The turtle.

[Mary Andrews]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[Narrator]

You've been listening to another chapter of the Adventures of Archie Andrews, written by Carl Jampel and based on the copyrighted feature appearing in Archie Comics Magazine. Archie was played by Bob Hastings, Jughead by Harlan Stone. Mom and dad Andrews are played by Alice Sherman and Arthur Cole. Veronica and Betty by Gloria Mann and Rosemary Rice. This program is produced and Directed by Kenneth McGregor. Listen. Next Saturday, when Swift and company, makers of Swift's Premium Franks, brings you more of the Merry Adventures of Archie Andrews. This is Bob Cherry with Wishing you all a very pleasant weekend. So long. Lift and Company invite you to stay tuned for Meet the Meeks, which will be heard immediately over most of these stations.