
Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scouts xxxxxx Joe E Brown Substitute
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Arthur Godfrey
Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scout Show. And here presiding for Arthur Godfrey is our star, Joey Brown.
Joey Brown
Thank you. Thank you very. Say, what a lovely, pretty audience. This is the first time in a long while I've worked to an audience that's prettier than I am. You know, really, ladies and gentlemen, I'm enjoying being on talent scouts a great deal. A great deal. It's grand to be doing something that's so much fun and still helping a lot of young talent go where they want to go and do the things that they do. And I've enjoyed it a great deal. I mean that sincerely. I've had so many letters and telegrams, I have to read a few. You don't mind if I read just a couple of them to you? There's about last week's show. Here's a dill. This is a good one. It says Dear Joe. This is from Denver, Colorado, and signed a fan. I met him before once. Dear Joe, saw you last Monday on talent scouts. You were wonderful. Sorry you didn't win brilliantly.
Unknown
Oh, wait, I got.
Joey Brown
Here's a telegraph. Here's one from Arlington, Virginia, signed Mary Jane Reinhart, Marymount School. Well, that's a good one. Says Dear Jo. She says it's amazing how different you are on talent scouts from the way you are in the movies. I think you have a real dual personality. Silliest thing. You ought to see the way she spells dual. D, U, L, L, girl. Oh, Y. I have a telegram here from an old, very old and a very dear friend of mine, Mike Horning, the mayor of Holgate, Ohio. Holgate, Ohio. That's where I was born. I was born, really. I didn't just grow, I did, really. That's a Lovely little town. 1105 people. 1105 people when I was born. There's 1105 people now. That's consistency for you. Of course, it's not like New York. I know that look. You take away New York's theaters, their bright lights, the crowds, Broadway, Times Square, Radio City, subways and the tall buildings and what have you got? Holgate, Ohio. You know, when I lived in the Holgate, they used to have a curfew. They used to ring a curfew at 9 o' clock every night. Had to cut it out. Used to wake people up. Of course, that was before night baseball. Baseball. You know, they're going south already. The teams are already going training camps. Yes. I don't think I'll play this year. Well, there's nothing to laugh at. I could. I wound up my major league career about three years ago. I played with the Cleveland Indians under the name of Thurman Tucker. Next year I'm going to manage The Cardinals, the St. Louis Cardinals under the name of Stanky. But we won't spell it that way. That's kind of a silly. I tell you, I was really going to hit that potato. When I played ball. I really had a reputation for hitting. I was the only man in the world that ever played baseball that had to take a full swing at a ball to bunt. I hit for height, not distance. Other people, other hitters hit him out that way. That me, I hit him straight up. I'll never forget. I could hit a ball so high that one season I brought down seven storms. That takes a little time, I know that. But really, I had an experience. I was playing with Wapakoneta in the Iron Mountain Range League in Ohio. I hit a ball. One day, I hit a ball in the first game of a doubleheader. My first time at bat, I hit a ball so high that I wasn't put out until the ninth inning of the second game. My brother Mike. My brother Mike was a pretty good ballplayer, too. Well, he wasn't a good ball player. As a matter of fact, he was pretty. He was so bad, he couldn't tell a ball from a strike. So they made an umpire out of him. Now, I think it's about. I think it's about time we get onto the talent scouts, if you don't mind. We had a lot of fun. I enjoyed it. Let's have the first talent scout, Ms. Marcella Lally. Ms. Lally. Ms. Lally, come right in. Come right up there and sit right down. Well, Ms. Lally, what do you do? Have you any business of any kind, Ms. Lally?
Marcella Lally
Oh, it's rather serious business. I supervise music in the public school system in Utica, New York.
Joey Brown
You teach music? You're the supervisor of all the schools and the music. Is that so? Isn't that fine? Well, how long have you been doing this sort of work?
Marcella Lally
Well, about five years.
Joey Brown
Five years. That's a lovely work, too. I'll tell you that. When you're working with youngsters and helping them do something that makes it all worthwhile. Do you sing yourself?
Marcella Lally
Yes, I used to. I'll put it that way.
Joey Brown
Well, whom do you consider? This is a silly question. Maybe, but whom do you consider the great singers of opera, of classical music and bebop popular music? Don't have to mention my name at All.
Marcella Lally
Well, if I. Of course, it's all personal. I like Boehling and I like Helen Traubel and Wagner.
Joey Brown
What about the popular?
Marcella Lally
And I really. I don't know. I just heard Gertrude Lawrence singing in the King and I and I certainly like that.
Joey Brown
She certainly was good and she is good. When did you meet the talent that you're going to bring here?
Marcella Lally
Well, you see, I taught in the high school in Utica for a good many years.
Joey Brown
Who are they? What are the names of the boys?
Marcella Lally
First, the first tenor is James Bantham and the second is Bob Jones. The baritone is James Davis and the bass is Self Roberts.
Joey Brown
I would judge from that that they are singers. Did you teach these boys?
Marcella Lally
I taught them in the high school when I had the choir there. They were all members of my choir. And after they had been in World War II and came back, they organized this quartet.
Joey Brown
All these boys were in the service?
Marcella Lally
That's right.
Joey Brown
Overseas too. I understand. Well, that's fine. Well, what are they going to sing?
Marcella Lally
Well, this may seem strange that I, who am representing music education and yet I'm down here and getting a big kick out of it presenting them in a song called There's Nothing Like a Dame.
Joey Brown
To you. Did they? Well, Ms. L, let's. Let's bring out. What are their names? No, no. What is the name out. The Corsairs. And let the ladies and gentlemen here and the people around the country see them and enjoy them. The Corsairs.
The Corsairs
We got moonlight on the sand. We got moonlight on the sea. We got mangoes and bananas you can pick right off the tree. We got volleyball and ping pong and a lot of dandy games. What ain't we got? We ain't got days. We get packages from home. We get movies, we get shows. We get speeches from our skipper and advice from Tokyo Rose. We get letters thousand perfume. We get dizzy from the smell. What don't we get? You know darn well We've got nothing.
Viola Acosta
To put on a clean white suit for.
The Corsairs
We got nothing to look masculine and cute for. There is nothing like a dame Nothing in the world. There is nothing you can name that is anything like a dame. We feel lonely and we long for the fair and gentle sex. We would like to feel the feeling of some arms around our necks. We feel hungry as a wolf felt when he met Red Riding Hood. What don't we. We don't feel good. Lots of things in life are beautiful. But brother, there is one particular thing that is nothing whatsoever in any way, shape or form like any Other There is nothing like a day Nothing in the world There is nothing you can name that is anything like a day There are no books like a day and nothing looks like a day. There are no drinks like a day and nothing thinks like a day and nothing acts like a day or attracts like a day. There ain't a thing that's wrong with any man here that can't be cured by putting him near a girly, womanly, female, feminine day.
Joey Brown
Boy, we have talent, ladies and gentlemen. Isn't that just great? I enjoyed them a great deal. And now, Mrs. Vivian Wright. Mrs. Vivian Wright. There we go. Nice. There you are. And welcome. Well, how do you do, Mrs. Wright? Welcome to our show. And where are you from, Mrs. Wright?
Vivian Wright
I'm from South Carolina.
Joey Brown
Speak right up. I'll put that over there so it'll help you a little bit.
Vivian Wright
I'm from South Carolina, but I'm living in New York at present.
Joey Brown
You speak right along.
Unknown
Right on up.
Joey Brown
Don't be afraid of it. Speak right up. You're from South Carolina originally, but now you're a New Yorker. Oh, then they speak loud here in New York.
Vivian Wright
Oh, they do?
Joey Brown
That's right. They don't have the elevators anymore. And this is. What do you do? What do you do? Have you a job of some kind?
Vivian Wright
I'm a housewife.
Joey Brown
You're a housewife? That's all you do? Just. You're strictly a housewife, huh?
Vivian Wright
Take care of my little girl.
Joey Brown
Well, what did you do down in South Carolina?
Vivian Wright
Well, I taught school.
Joey Brown
You taught school?
Vivian Wright
Yes.
Joey Brown
We just had a lady in here before that, taught school. This is a good lot of class tonight. This is. Oh, forgive me.
The Corsairs
You know.
Joey Brown
How long have you. Have you been married? I says here. How long have you been married? I haven't even found out that you're married.
Vivian Wright
Oh, I've been married eight years.
Joey Brown
You're married eight years? What kind of a family have you?
Vivian Wright
Oh, I have a little girl, three and a half years old.
Joey Brown
How many in your immediate family? Three. There's three. I mean, in the whole. In your other family, brothers and sisters?
Vivian Wright
Oh, I have three brothers and three sisters.
Joey Brown
Three brothers and three sisters. Well, isn't that a nice family. And who is this talent that you brought here tonight for us?
Vivian Wright
My sister.
Joey Brown
Your sister?
Vivian Wright
Yes.
Joey Brown
And what is her name?
Vivian Wright
Viola Acosta.
Joey Brown
Viola Acosta. What does she do?
Vivian Wright
Well, she sings.
Joey Brown
She sings? Are you at all responsible for her?
Vivian Wright
Well, I encouraged her.
Joey Brown
You encouraged her? I see. Well, I certainly. As a matter of fact, I want to tell you ladies and, gentlemen, I heard her this afternoon and she is grand. So I don't have to say I hope she's going to be good. But we'll bring Viola. And thank you very kindly before we bring on the talent. Thank you for coming. And thank you for bringing this sister of yours, Viola Acosta.
Unknown
So you ran into my former fiance. You saw him dancing last night in some cafe. Gee, I haven't seen him since a year ago and there are so many.
Joey Brown
Things.
Unknown
I'm dying to know not that I really care I know our love affair can never be but.
Viola Acosta
How.
Joey Brown
Did Hero.
Unknown
Did he seem happy while they were dancing? Did he whisper things in her ear and did he light her cigarette? Was he attentive.
Viola Acosta
The way he used to be.
Joey Brown
With me?
Unknown
Oh, what was she like? Was she attractive? Was Was there a smile upon his face or did he seem bored? Not that I really care I know our love affair can never be be but how.
Viola Acosta
Did he look?
Unknown
And did he.
Viola Acosta
Ask about.
Joey Brown
Me? Thank you. Wasn't that grand? Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry that I got just a little bit behind schedule, so we have to push along and bring on Miss Charlotte Luxury Locks, our third talent scout. Good evening. Welcome and sit right down. I suppose everybody asks you if you're good with bagels and cream cheese.
Charlotte Luxury Locks
Everybody?
Joey Brown
All right, then I won't. Have you any children. Are you married, Miss Locks?
Charlotte Luxury Locks
I'm Mrs. Locks and I have a little girl.
Joey Brown
You're Mrs. Locks and you have a little girl?
Charlotte Luxury Locks
I have a problem with her.
Joey Brown
You do?
Charlotte Luxury Locks
She's got red hair and they call her Red Locks.
Joey Brown
I got it. Well, I'm sorry that I can't talk to you much longer because I want to get to your talent. And what about it?
Charlotte Luxury Locks
Well, I brought.
Joey Brown
Who have you brought us?
Charlotte Luxury Locks
I brought a comedian named Harvey Sheldon. I think he's very good.
Joey Brown
What is his experience?
Charlotte Luxury Locks
He's worked at the Rainbow Inn in New Brunswick, New Jersey. He's worked the Lowe's and RKO theater circuits, and he's worked the borscht circuit for 10 years.
Joey Brown
The borscht circuit?
Charlotte Luxury Locks
Yes. And he's done some radio work, too.
Joey Brown
Well, a lot of great comedians have come from the borsch circuit. Danny Kay and I know a lot of them and they've been fine. And I'm looking forward to seeing him and bringing him out here. And so his name is what?
Charlotte Luxury Locks
Harvey Sheldon.
Joey Brown
Harvey Sheldon, ladies and gentlemen.
Unknown
When you're smiling, keep on smiling. Now that's a beautiful song. Especially if you got teeth. Talking about teeth. I met A friend of mine the other day, I says, how come you look so bad? He says, well, I just spent $400 for a set of false teeth and they don't fit. I said, What? You spent $400 for a set of false teeth and they don't fit in your mouth? He says, who's talking about the mouth? They don't fit in the glass. I just got back from Florida, had to go to Florida. Who can afford an overcoat? Florida is a beautiful place. I love the atmosphere, the water, the hotels. It's gorgeous. The only thing I can't stand, the $12 go so fast, it's expensive. Next year I'll leave my family home. I had a beautiful room overlooking a sink. Why, on a clear day, you could see my bed. Well, I finally left Florida after all. I couldn't take it with me. And I got back to New York and your trains are so crowded, it's terrible. I walk into the subway to sit down and read my paper, and the guy on the right of me looks over my shoulder and says, will you kindly turn the page? I'm through with the sports section. The guy on the left of me says, don't turn the page. I'm a slow reader. I get to the next station, my paper walks out on me. I'm walking out the subway. This panhandler rushes up to me, says, can you spare a dime for a cup of coffee? I'm in a hurry. I says, what's your hurry? He says, I'm double parked, honestly. I walk into a restaurant to eat. I sit down, A waiter walks over. I says, waiter, have you got any spare ribs? He says, no, I'm built like everybody else. I order a steak, I wrestle with it for 20 minutes. I can't eat it. I says, waiter, the steak is tough. Take it away. He says, I'm sorry, it's too late. You bent the gravy. I says, where's the manager? He says, don't look for him. He won't eat it either. I says, look, you take the steak and hit the chef over the head with it. He says, I'm sorry, you'll have to wait. There's a plate of lamb chops before you. Finally, I got a little ice cream for dessert and I found a fly in it. I says, wait a. What's the fly doing in the ice cream? He looks down at me and says, it's my business if he likes winter sports. I got so excited, I walked out. I forgot to take the salt shakers, so I took an Overcoat. I walk out and try the coat on. I find a guy inside the coat. He must have got there before me. Finally I looked down at him. I says, what are you doing here? He says, don't get excited. I got bad news for you. I says, what happened? He says, your uncle was just killed by a weasel. I says, my uncle was killed by a weasel? How did my uncle get killed by a weasel? He says, the train was coming. He didn't hear the weasel. So when you're smiling, oh, keep on smiling, for the whole world smiles at you.
Joey Brown
And with Harvey Sheldon, comedian. And now, ladies and gentlemen, our next talent scout, Miss Merle Moose Cow. Miss Moose Cow. Here I am running way behind schedule, and I can't spend too much time with you. And I'm awfully sorry. I want to apologize, Ms. Muskow. What kind of a name is that, by the way?
Merle Moose Cow
It's Hungarian.
Joey Brown
Hungarian? What does it mean? Uh, oh, does it have a meaning?
Merle Moose Cow
Yes, it does. It means Russian in Hungarian. But we're not Russian.
Joey Brown
You're not by any chance a school teacher, are you?
Merle Moose Cow
No, I'm not. I'm a part time secretary.
Joey Brown
Well, how did you meet your talent?
Merle Moose Cow
I met her at the Cook County Hospital in Chicago, Illinois. She was singing for the children out there.
Joey Brown
And what were you doing?
Merle Moose Cow
I read to the children of color.
Joey Brown
Well, isn't that grand, ladies and gentlemen? I think that's swell. Well, what is it? Thank you. Very kind. I have to rush, and I'm awfully sorry to do this too, but what is the youngster's name?
Merle Moose Cow
Winifred Heckman. And she's sung the San Carlo Opera Company, the Chicago Opera Company, the Philadelphia La Scala Opera Company, and she's done the Rodgers and Hammerstein concert tours. She's done television and radio, and she liked to sing in the Metropolitan Opera.
Joey Brown
Well, you're a good sport. And what is her name?
Merle Moose Cow
Winifred Heckman.
Joey Brown
Winifred Heckman. Thank you.
Viola Acosta
If you've been in Havana, you have heard a dreamy tune. When you sing of Havana, you recall this dreamy tune. If you dance in harmona you've got a 20 rhythm that made your senses stray Night and day use that fascinating melody they play. You dream so it seems underneath the civil moon as I quit Simone. Every girl will fade away. Fascinating cultivating Simone. When they wander, uncle, they.
Joey Brown
And now it's grand finale time, when all the artists come back for a little reprise. And you, the audience, will tell us which one is the winner. By your applause, please. No, no. Weaseling just. You can scream and applaud all you want. And here's the first. The Corsairs.
The Corsairs
There is nothing like a day.
Joey Brown
Next, our pop singer, Viola Acosta.
Viola Acosta
How did he look?
Joey Brown
And now, our comic, Harvey Sheldon.
Unknown
You know, ladies and gentlemen, with taxes as they are today, it's tough. Comes the end of the money. I still got months left over.
Joey Brown
And our final performer, soprano Winifred Hackman.
Viola Acosta
Siboney.
Joey Brown
Well, the first winners, Ladies. There were two winners, incidentally. Here they are. Two again. No, it's just one. Which is it? There's just one. It's Viola Acosta.
Unknown
Viola Acosta.
Arthur Godfrey
You have been listening to Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scout show with Joey Brown substituting for Arthur Godfrey on tonight's program, Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scouts is developed by Arthur Mansfield and produced by Larry Puck and Jack Carney. Join us again next week when talent scouts will appear in another quest for the best in new talent and entertainment. This is the United States Armed Forces Radio Service.
Detailed Summary of "Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scouts xxxxxx Joe E Brown Substitute"
Release Date: June 23, 2025
Introduction
In this captivating episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, titled "Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scouts xxxxxx Joe E Brown Substitute," host Joey Brown steps in as a substitute for Arthur Godfrey. The show, a cherished relic from the Golden Age of Radio, encapsulates the charm of pre-television family entertainment, featuring performances from emerging talents in singing and comedy. Joey Brown brings his unique humor and warmth to the role, ensuring the legacy of Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scouts continues to thrive.
Host's Opening Remarks
Joey Brown opens the program with his trademark blend of humor and sincerity. At [00:27], he warmly engages the audience, expressing his genuine pleasure in participating as the host:
"I'm enjoying being on talent scouts a great deal. A great deal. It's grand to be doing something that's so much fun and still helping a lot of young talent go where they want to go and do the things that they do."
He lightens the mood by reading amusing fan letters and sharing humorous anecdotes about his hometown, Holgate, Ohio, and his fictitious baseball career. This sets a friendly and relaxed tone, making listeners feel welcomed and entertained from the start.
First Talent: The Corsairs
Joey Brown introduces the first act, The Corsairs, a harmonious quartet comprising James Bantham, Bob Jones, James Davis, and Self Roberts. These talented singers were members of Marcella Lally's high school choir in Utica, New York, and have come together to showcase their post-World War II camaraderie and musical prowess.
Performance: "There's Nothing Like a Dame"
At [07:31], The Corsairs perform their original song, "There's Nothing Like a Dame," which blends patriotic themes with heartfelt harmonies:
"We got moonlight on the sand. We got moonlight on the sea. We got mangoes and bananas you can pick right off the tree."
Their performance is both uplifting and nostalgic, resonating with the audience's appreciation for wholesome, harmonious music that harkens back to simpler times.
Second Talent: Viola Acosta
Next, the spotlight shines on Viola Acosta, introduced by her sister Vivian Wright. Viola is a soprano with an impressive resume, having performed with prestigious opera companies and participated in major concert tours.
Performance: "If You've Been in Havana"
At [20:00], Viola delivers a mesmerizing rendition of "If You've Been in Havana," captivating listeners with her rich, emotive voice:
"If you've been in Havana, you have heard a dreamy tune. When you sing of Havana, you recall this dreamy tune."
Her performance is met with enthusiastic praise from Joey Brown:
"I heard her this afternoon and she is grand. So I don't have to say I hope she's going to be good." [10:53]
Viola's sophisticated vocal technique and emotional depth make her a standout performer in the competition.
Third Talent: Comedian Harvey Sheldon
The next act introduces a refreshing change of pace with Harvey Sheldon, a seasoned comedian brought forward by Charlotte Luxury Locks. Harvey's comedic background includes performances on the Rainbow Inn in New Brunswick, the Lowe's and RKO theater circuits, and the "borsch circuit."
Performance: Stand-Up Routine
At [15:35], Harvey takes the stage with his signature humor, delivering a series of witty anecdotes and observational jokes that resonate with the audience:
"When you're smiling, keep on smiling. Now that's a beautiful song. Especially if you got teeth."
His routine is filled with playful storytelling and sharp punchlines, providing a hearty dose of laughter and levity amidst the musical performances.
Fourth Talent: Winifred Heckman
The final talent of the evening is Winifred Heckman, a soprano introduced by Merle Moose Cow. Winifred boasts an illustrious career, having performed with the San Carlo Opera Company, the Chicago Opera Company, and the Philadelphia La Scala Opera Company.
Performance: "Siboney"
At [20:00], Winifred enchants the audience with her rendition of "Siboney," a classic piece that showcases her impeccable vocal control and emotional expressiveness:
"Siboney, when you sing of Havana, you recall this dreamy tune."
Her performance exudes grace and sophistication, leaving a lasting impression on both the host and listeners.
Grand Finale and Winner Announcement
As the evening progresses, Joey Brown brings all four acts back for a grand finale, allowing the audience to revisit highlights and express their support through applause.
Final Performances: Reprises
Winner Announcement
At [23:07], Joey Brown announces the winner based on audience applause:
"There were two winners, incidentally. Here they are. Two again. No, it's just one. Which is it? There's just one. It's Viola Acosta."
Viola Acosta's exceptional performance and vocal excellence earn her the coveted title, validating her as the evening's top talent.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
Joey Brown on Hosting:
[00:27] - "I'm enjoying being on talent scouts a great deal. A great deal. It's grand to be doing something that's so much fun and still helping a lot of young talent go where they want to go and do the things that they do."
Joey Brown on Fictitious Baseball Career:
[02:08] - "I played with the Cleveland Indians under the name of Thurman Tucker. Next year I'm going to manage The Cardinals, the St. Louis Cardinals under the name of Stanky."
The Corsairs on Patriotic Themes:
[07:31] - "There is nothing like a day... There is nothing you can name that is anything like a day."
Joey Brown Praising Viola Acosta:
[10:53] - "I heard her this afternoon and she is grand. So I don't have to say I hope she's going to be good."
Winner Announcement:
[23:07] - "It's Viola Acosta."
Conclusion
This episode of "Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scouts" brilliantly showcases a diverse array of talents, from harmonious singing groups and operatic sopranos to seasoned comedians. Joey Brown's engaging and humorous hosting seamlessly bridges each performance, creating an entertaining and heartfelt experience for listeners. The selection of Viola Acosta as the winner highlights the program's commitment to nurturing exceptional talent, ensuring that the spirit of the Golden Age of Radio continues to inspire and delight audiences.
Listeners are left with a sense of nostalgia and appreciation for the enduring legacy of radio entertainment, eagerly anticipating future episodes that promise to discover and celebrate new stars.