
Atlanta Radio Theatre Company - Bradbury's Funeral Home, Armada Rising
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Omar Bradbury
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Witness/Observer
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Narrator/Host
You guessed it. It's time once again for Artsy's Podcast, the online venue of the Atlanta Radio Theater Company. Our feature piece for the show is Armada Rising by Thomas E. Fuller. But first, an episode of Bumper's Crossroads. Bradbury's Funeral Home by Ron N. Butler.
Narrator/News Reporter
It's time once again to take a little trip just a ways down the road to America's favorite little town, Bumper's Crossroads, brought to you as always by Collins Best Coffee. Tonight we join Woody, Helen and Ray en route between Bumper's Crossroads and Autumnley.
Woody
Woody, I admire your car.
Fred
Thank you.
Helen
I've always been partial to Crown Victoria.
Woody
I do have one question, though. It's about those two little blue plastic hats in the back window.
Helen
Boulders. Boulders. I am also partial to little blue plastic boulders.
Woody
Well, from the outside, they look.
Helen
I'm not responsible for what they look like. I will say this, though. If you drive a white Ford Crown Victoria with black wall tires, three radio antennas on the trunk lid, and two little blue plastic hats in the back window, you can generally drive as fast as you want and very seldom will you have any trouble with the police.
Narrator/Listener
I. I just cannot believe that Omar Bradbury's dead. Had you known him long?
Helen
Omar was Helen's English literature teacher in high school. Of course, that was before he moved up to Autumnley and took over his father's funeral home. A long time.
Narrator/Listener
Not that long ago.
Ship Officer
Would he?
Helen
Yes, ma'.
Narrator/News Reporter
Am.
Narrator/Listener
Just drive. I've always been partial to Bradbury's. It's been my favorite funeral home since I was a little girl.
Woody
Your Favorite funeral home.
Narrator/Listener
That does sound odd, doesn't it? But it's marvelous house. White, with red shingles, a port cochere, and that broad porch around three sides. It was built during the Roosevelt administration, I believe.
Woody
Franklin.
Narrator/Listener
Teddy. Oh, my. Great Aunt Eunice passed on when I was 10, and the whole town turned out for the visitation the night before the funeral. Great Aunt Eunice was quite the grand matriarch, and the family and friends just flowed out onto that porch, talking and remembering and catching up. People my parents hadn't seen in years, cousins to play with. I had never. It sounds so strange, but I had the best time.
Helen
Ray, did Fred seem all right when you dropped him off?
Woody
Oh, yeah. I drove him up right after he got the phone call. He said he and Mr. Bradbury had been such good friends, he'd prefer to ride back with you and Ms. Woodrow after paying his respects.
Helen
Mm.
Woody
Mm.
Narrator/Listener
That was Omar's first undertaking. His father's funeral. And now there's another Bradbury laid out in the front parlor. Sad.
Helen
I think this is it. But where am I gonna park? Look at all these cars.
Narrator/Listener
My word. I've never seen the house this full. Music. Is that music?
Woody
I think so.
Narrator/Listener
This is shameless. This looks more like a party than a visitation. What is going on?
Woody
Well, isn't that Mr. Bumper? Why don't you ask him?
Helen
He looks kinda dazed.
Fred
Fred.
Narrator/Listener
Fred.
Helen
Fred.
Narrator/Listener
Copper, come over here.
Helen
Oh, my.
Fred
He's. He's not dead.
Narrator/Listener
He's not dead? Who's do you mean? Omar Bradbury isn't dead.
Fred
He's in the front parlor.
Narrator/Listener
This is a scandal. Woody, you look after Fred. I'm gonna go get to the bottom of this.
Helen
I just don't know.
Narrator/Listener
Helen.
Omar Bradbury
Woodrow.
Narrator/Listener
Oh, Ma. Bradbury, you get out of that coffin right now.
Omar Bradbury
Oh, I haven't seen you in six years. I'm glad you could make it. Oh, Ma.
Narrator/Listener
Forrest Bradbury, you have some explaining to do. I said get out of that coffin.
Omar Bradbury
I don't rightly know if I can. It's a tight fit. Oh, that's better. Now, Helen, why don't you take my arm, and we'll go out on the porch, and I will attempt to soothe the savage beast. Now, please, Helen, sit. You always like this swing? I remember you and your cousin Violet tried to kick your heels against the roof during your aunt Eunice's funeral.
Narrator/Listener
Mr. Bradbury, explain this carnival.
Omar Bradbury
Why aren't I dead?
Narrator/Listener
Yes, why aren't you?
Omar Bradbury
No, no, no, no. It's a proper question. Why isn't the guest on or at this visitation, properly dead. And the answer is because I'd miss all the fun.
Narrator/Listener
The fun.
Omar Bradbury
The fun. Helen. Dear Helen, my favorite pupil. I've seen more funerals than most men over 40 years. I gradually realized something shocking. The best funerals are fun. Oh, not the death. Death is always sad and sometimes tragic. But death is with us always, whether we have funerals or not. Funerals are a fine human invention. Draw together the raw wound of loss. Funerals bring together friends and relatives you haven't seen in years. And they concentrate all the good memories and love for that departed man or woman that there are in the whole world. And that's good. There's only one thing wrong with it. What guest of honor is one person who can't enjoy it all? So I decided I didn't want a funeral like that. I wanted to be there. I wanted to see everyone one last time. So I sent out funeral notices and had my old friends and pupils and unseen relatives called up. I must say, owning the funeral home was a tremendous help.
Woody
That's.
Narrator/Listener
That's fraud.
Omar Bradbury
Well, it's not much one. After all, I'm 80 years old. How long you think before I have to submit to a conventional funeral?
Narrator/Listener
That's not the point. You've deceived these people. You might live another 20 years. You have time to go and see your relatives and old cronies like a decent human being instead of upsetting them all and disrupting their lives like Grandpa.
Omar Bradbury
Are you sure, Helen?
Narrator/Listener
I don't like the way you asked that. You always asked your sneaky questions in that quiet voice.
Omar Bradbury
Oh, I remember again why you were my favorite pupil so quick. Well, favorite pupil, the folks here tonight know a secret the rest of the world does not. Omar F. Bradbury is not dead. But I'll tell you a secret none of them knows. Omar F. Bradbury is dying.
Narrator/Listener
No.
Omar Bradbury
Six months or a year. Lymphoma. I ignored the signs for far too long. So when Doc Ray Bell diagnosed it, I could maybe stretch that out with chemotherapy. But I've no mind to. I don't think the Lord will hold it against me if I don't take the longest way home to see my Ann again.
Narrator/Listener
Oh, dear.
Omar Bradbury
I have always liked this tune. I liked it when it first came out. Ms. Hull, might I have this dance?
Narrator/Listener
It will be a pleasure, Mr. Bradbury.
Helen
That was Omar Bradbury's boy, Raymond on the phone. OMAR died about 6 this morning.
Omar Bradbury
Are they sure?
Narrator/Listener
He'd better be.
Narrator/News Reporter
Tune in tomorrow for another visit with Bumper's Crossroads brought to you by Collins. Best coffee. The coffee that wakes you up and kicks you out the door. We're always happy to see you at bumpers. Crossroads.
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Helen
Hey, Sal. Hank.
Omar Bradbury
What's going on? We haven't worked a case in years.
Helen
I just bought my car at Carvana
Omar Bradbury
and it was so easy. Too easy. Think something's up? You tell me.
Helen
They got thousands of options, found a
Omar Bradbury
great car at a great price, and
Fred
it got delivered the next day.
Omar Bradbury
It sounds like Carvana just makes it easy to buy your car, Hank.
Helen
Yeah, you're right.
Omar Bradbury
Case closed.
Narrator/Listener
Buy your car today on Carvana.
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Narrator/News Reporter
And this just in from our bureau in Northern Ireland. It seems that there is some kind of oceanic disturbance taking place off the north coast of that beleaguered country. Scientists are using satellites in an attempt to pinpoint the exact cause of the phenomenon. There is some speculation that it could be connected with an underwater eruption such as the kind that took place off the coast of Ireland several years ago.
News Reporter
World News International. The Scilly season is in full swing. Two fishermen from the Irish town of Kalogan in County Antrim returned home last night with reports of being attacked by what they refer to as all the ghosties of the great sea. They were a bit incoherent, but from what authorities could make out before sending the two men home, they seem to have suddenly found themselves in the midst of a series of black ribbed spikes rising up out of the sea. According to one constable, he had no idea what the men had seen, only that it could not be what they said they had seen.
Molly (Interviewer)
This is Diane Johnson here with Mr. Patrick O' Neill and Mr. Andrew Shaughnessy, two gentlemen with a story to tell.
Fred
And it's the truth by all that's holy. Tis the God's truth.
Omar Bradbury
Ay.
Molly (Interviewer)
Perhaps you should just tell our listeners in your own words exactly what happened.
Omar Bradbury
We'd been out all day doing a
News Reporter
little fishing and taking a drink or
Omar Bradbury
two now and then.
Fred
Yeah, just to keep the cold out.
Omar Bradbury
Right, right. Just to keep the cold out.
News Reporter
When it happened.
Molly (Interviewer)
When what happened?
Omar Bradbury
Damned if I know.
Molly (Interviewer)
I beg your pardon?
Fred
What Andrew means is that we don't know what happened, only what happened. If you catch my drift.
Molly (Interviewer)
Uh, no.
Omar Bradbury
Well, the first thing that happens was all the sounds stop, just as if someone had pushed a button. No goals, no jets, no engines, nothing. Just the sound of the ocean. It kind of muted, like.
Fred
And the sky. The sky got all gray and boily. And the air was. Was dead, like before a big storm. That's when we saw the first of them, rising up out of the sea like a damp forest.
Omar Bradbury
Like black claws they were clutching up out of the water, cold and dark.
Fred
Why, they were all around us, rising up higher and higher, draped and dripping canvas and rope. The seaweed streaming off him like banners. Make a man's heart stop dead in his chest. And that weren't the worst of it.
Narrator/Listener
It weren't.
Molly (Interviewer)
Wasn't.
Omar Bradbury
Oh, they kept coming up. And then the rest of them broke the surface.
Narrator/Listener
Good.
Omar Bradbury
The glory of them. Like walls, like castle walls growing up out of the swirl of the sea. The water sloughed off them like a skin. Gooshed out of the ports, Poured out of the cannon like the smoke mocha battle.
Molly (Interviewer)
Wait a minute.
Narrator/Listener
The cannon.
Molly (Interviewer)
Water poured out of the cannon.
Omar Bradbury
That's what I said, didn't I?
Molly (Interviewer)
These things were armed.
Omar Bradbury
I never saw a picture of them that wasn't armed. Did you, Patrick?
Fred
Devil One.
Molly (Interviewer)
Then you know what they were.
Omar Bradbury
Of course we know. They were galleons. Spanish galleons.
Fred
Just like them what broke up on the Giants Causeway 400 years ago.
Omar Bradbury
And then they were on the move, gliding past us like we weren't even there. Oh, there must have been a hundred of them. I'll never forget it. Never.
Fred
And then the weird thing happened.
Molly (Interviewer)
The weird thing?
Fred
When they rose up out of the sea, there were wrecks. All ribs and rot, ooze and mud and slime, like blood from wounds. But as they slid past us, they changed. They healed. The canvas billowed, the crops grew taut. Their sides glistened with gold and iron. Ah, twas a sight, let me tell you. Twas a grand sight.
Molly (Interviewer)
And this. This Armada.
Omar Bradbury
You might as well come right out and say it was the great Spanish Armada of old King Philip breaking free
Fred
of the sea, all sail set, and sailing dead on.
Omar Bradbury
For England and serve them all right too.
Fred
Ay, but Lord, Lord, they were grand.
Molly (Interviewer)
This is Ben Dian Johnson reporting to you from.
Narrator/News Reporter
Scientists in London today confirmed the loss of Skybird 12, the weather satellite serving the north of Ireland and the west coast of Scotland. At this time, it is not known if the satellite is totally down or merely malfunctioning. According to NASA, the possibility exists that Ground commands could bring it.
Helen
Fog's damn thick tonight, Number One.
Ship Officer
It's certainly that hate.
Helen
Crawling along like this costs us time and the owner's money.
Ship Officer
Not to mention being boring. Isell. Hello, sir.
Helen
There's something out there. Out there in the fore.
Ship Officer
Oh, that's impossible, sir. We're the only ship in this sector.
Fred
Look.
Helen
There, looming up out of the mist. Do you see them?
Omar Bradbury
Do you see?
Narrator/Listener
Oh, my God.
Helen
Collision course. Fall reverse. Collision course. Collision course.
Ship Officer
Well, they can't be real. They can't be.
Helen
They sure as hell look real. And if we hit them, we'll slice through them like a hot knife through butter. Full reverse.
Fred
They're.
Helen
They're firing on us. The bloody bastards are firing on us.
Ship Officer
Look at them.
Narrator/Listener
They're all around us.
Narrator/News Reporter
The crew of the SS Bermuda Star were picked up this morning after being at sea for at least a week. The delay in rescuing them is being blamed on the unusually thick fog that is blanketing the Irish Sea and on the failure of their emergency radio. The crew was suffering from exposure, many of the men being quite incoherent, babbling of mysterious attacks.
Witness/Observer
I tell you, I saw them. It's only a glimpse, mind you. It was a damn good glimpse. We'd left Londonderry making the usual run for Bristol. It was broad daylight, but the fog was so thick we were on instruments. Anyway, we were just cruising along. And then the wind came up or something. And suddenly there was this great bloody hole in the fog. Like someone had cut it open like a knife. The sun came pouring in and I looked down down at the sea. They were spread out beneath me, the sun burning round them like diadems. And they were massed in a gigantic crescent, sailing before the wind. There were so many of them, you couldn't even see the water. Then the fog closed back in and they were gone. But they were there. I swear to you, they were there. I saw them. I. I saw them.
Molly (Interviewer)
Our guest tonight on Talking to is the noted psychologist Dr. Marjorie Petrie. It's a pleasure to have you on the show, Dr. Petrie.
Woody
It's a pleasure to be here, Molly.
Molly (Interviewer)
Now, Dr. Petrie, there has been a lot of talk lately concerning the so called armada sightings. It's become almost a fad. It seems like every time you turn around someone else is spotting something out on the ocean.
Woody
Yes, I think you hit it right on the head when you said fad, Molly. This is as classic an example of mass hysteria as you can hope to find. The only thing that sets it off is the Singular touch of the fantastic that comes with it.
Molly (Interviewer)
The fantastic. Now, what exactly do you mean by that, Dr. Petrie?
Woody
A ghost fleet, one of the most famous in history, suddenly rises up out of the sea and starts to retrace its route back around the north coast of Great Britain. Now, if that isn't fantastic, I'm sure I don't know what is. I will say that there is a rather desperate grandeur about it. It is certainly more imaginative than most examples of mass hysteria.
Molly (Interviewer)
That's the second time you've used the term mass hysteria. Then you consider the sightings to be on the same level as, oh, UFOs and the loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot
Woody
and sea serpents and all the rest of them. It takes so little to get something like this rolling. Two fishermen spend the day in the sun, staring at the glare and swigging ale, and suddenly find themselves in the midst of a flock of resurrected galleons. They're lucky that's all they saw. A freighter blows up and after a week drifting in lifeboats. The crew thinks they were sunk by cannon fire. Exposure will do that to you. A bored pilot looks through a hole in the fog and thinks he sees a majestic crescent of ships spread out beneath him. I'm not saying that these people didn't see something. I'm sure they did. I'm also sure that it wasn't the Spanish Armada.
Molly (Interviewer)
So then you think the Armada sightings are basically harmless?
Woody
They are now. But who knows what's going to happen before all this runs its course? People are starting to get really keyed up over all this. I think it's more dangerous as a comment on our times than anything else. Oh, you can make some case for UFOs or mysterious creatures, but there is nothing that can be said for this. It simply can't exist. That's it in a nutshell. No matter what people think they see, it just isn't there.
Molly (Interviewer)
Thank you, Dr. Petrie. Our special guest tonight has been the noted psychologist Dr. Marjorie Petrie, with her comments concerning the Armada sightings. Tune in tomorrow when our.
Narrator/News Reporter
The North Sea continues to be blanketed in the worst fog of this century. Most commerce is at a standstill and air travel in and out of Scotland has been restricted. There seems to be little hope that the fog will lift anytime soon.
Narrator/Listener
It was the kids. Seen them first. I got two boys, 10 and 12. Good boys they are, or as good as they can be at that age. They were out on the beach when I heard them calling to me. You know how kids are I thought they were just making noise. Then I noticed that they were really calling, yelling like they really wanted me down there. I was afraid they might have gotten hurt, so I ran down to them. They were just standing there, all flushed with excitement, pointing out to sea. You couldn't really see anything. Everything was all grey with the fog. But they kept yelling, look, Mum. Look at them. Look at them. Of course, I couldn't see a thing. But I looked anyway, just to keep them quiet. It's the ships, Mum. It's the ships, like they said on the telly. I almost laughed at them. And then I saw there was something out there on the horizon, moving. You could just make them out, just barely. But they were out there. Something was out there. The longer you stared, the clearer they became. There were so many of them and they were so big. You can't imagine how huge they were. And the sails billowing like clouds in the fog. Each one with a great red cross in the center. I grabbed the kids and ran back into the house. And I stayed there until Jack came home. But I could still feel them. Passing right through the walls of the house. I could feel them.
Narrator/News Reporter
World News International Armada fever is sweeping Great Britain and spreading to other parts of Europe. This strange phenomenon that started in Ireland two weeks ago is beginning to resemble nothing less than an epidemic. Already the so called Armada sightings have begun to impact on the nation's young people. In only 14 days, the punk and post punk fashions have disappeared and been replaced with a curious mixture of Elizabethan and modern garbage. Armada rock, based on madrigals and incorporating aspects of the old Latin mass, is growing in appeal. Daily two groups raid on Cadiz and the Spanish Inquisition. Both proponents of armada rock have risen to dominate the charts. To have actually experienced a sighting is considered the ultimate experience.
Molly (Interviewer)
Perhaps I should just start off with your names.
Fred
Hey, I'm Mark Barker and this is Jenny Carmichael.
Narrator/Listener
Hi.
Molly (Interviewer)
And you're here for the exciting.
Narrator/Listener
You better believe it.
Fred
Who wouldn't miss it for the world?
Molly (Interviewer)
You're wearing some very interesting costumes. I. I take it they have special significance.
Fred
Oh, you bet they do. We're Limeyes. That means we identify with the English. That's why the high boots and cutlass, all this stuff. Sort of pirate look. A little rangy, a little scruffy, you know.
Narrator/Listener
That's to show we're not shippers.
Molly (Interviewer)
Shippers?
Fred
Yeah. Yes, shippers. They identify with the Armada. You spot them right off. They wear these funny conquistador hats and breastplates. Most of them are all right. But some are real trouble.
Narrator/Listener
There's been some trouble at some of the other sites, but not this one. Everything's cool here.
Molly (Interviewer)
Now what exactly are you all doing here? I understand there to be some bands.
Narrator/Listener
Oh, there's music and beer and stuff. But the important thing is the signal fire there.
Fred
Kids all up and down the coast, all up and around. Signals like ours. That's this. This great pile of logs and things here.
Narrator/Listener
As soon as the armada sighted, the fire is lit. That's the signal for the next group to be on the lookout.
Fred
Then we all look out at the sea. And if we see them, when.
Narrator/Listener
When we see them.
Fred
Right, right. When we see them, we light our fire. And then the next nights it up.
Woody
Well, then what?
Fred
And then we start south with all the others growing as we go. The biggest bloody moving rock festival in history.
Molly (Interviewer)
But where are you all going?
Narrator/Listener
Plymouth, of course.
Fred
That's where they're going. That's where the armada's going.
Narrator/Listener
It's really going to.
News Reporter
With the World News International. British regular army troops were moved in today to stop the mass exodus of young people moving down the east coast of Great Britain. It is estimated that the number of people is in excess of 300,000. Marching steadily towards the city of Plymouth. Behind them they leave a dying line of bonfire stretching north into Scotland. Clashes between rival gangs of limeys and shippers have caused numerous injuries and at least five deaths. The government are calling for calm and all armada rock songs have been banned from the airways. The latest armada sighting was by the crew of the North Sea oil rig Northumberland. Contact with the rig was lost soon after.
Helen
I have seen the beast rising out of the sea. With my own eyes I have seen. Is the time of the breaking of the seals, the end of days. Hear my voice. For I have had the vision. And you must listen. You must. Out of the sea will come Leviathan, the great beast of the sea. To do battle with Behemoth, the great beast of the land. I have seen it. The spines of its back like the masts of a great fleet. Do not be deceived. Do not listen to the false prophets to speak of you. Of ancient ships and swamp gas. I tell you the time is coming.
Omar Bradbury
The time foretold.
Helen
I have seen the great beast rising from the sea.
Omar Bradbury
Prepare. Prepare. Prepare.
Narrator/Listener
Did you see them?
Witness/Observer
I saw them.
Narrator/Listener
Were they real?
Witness/Observer
They were real.
Narrator/Listener
What should we do?
Witness/Observer
I don't know. I don't think there's anything we can do.
Narrator/News Reporter
This. This is the civilian emergency network. All other forms of broadcasting are off the air. To keep the airways free for vital government and defense use. Armada sightings have been constant for the last three days. Rioting continues along the whole east coast of the island. The home fleet, consisting of the carrier Invincible, the guided missile cruiser King George ii, and the destroyers Essex, Southampton and Warwick have been dispatched to Plymouth to dispel once and for all the threat of the armada. All citizens are requested to stay in their homes. Any citizens with medical training are requested to immediately report to them.
Ship Officer
Silliest damn thing I ever heard. Trouble all over the world. Real trouble. And here we are chasing ghosts in the Channel.
Woody
If you want trouble, all you have to do is just go ashore.
Ship Officer
Ain't that the truth. I don't know what's the matter with kids these days. I mean, I was wild myself, but nothing like this.
Woody
Did you see those pictures from London? Talk about a mad house. Last I heard, the PM was making the royal family evacuate. They didn't want to go.
Ship Officer
Yeah, well, that's somewhat all over the place.
Woody
Anything on the scope?
Ship Officer
What do you think?
Woody
Sorry?
Ship Officer
Everything's just falling right apart on shore. Just coming right apart. Ghosts. Bloody damn ghosts.
Woody
Well, better ghosts than anything else. Do you think this could be the Russians? I mean, maybe they did something to the weather. Made the fog figured out a way to, like, project the galleons. That would explain it, wouldn't it?
Ship Officer
Explain as much as anything else. What the hell?
Woody
What?
Ship Officer
What the bloody hell? Oh, this damn thing must be malfunctioning. Come on, you lousy piece of sea rot. Damn, they're still there.
Woody
What's still there?
Ship Officer
Look at the bloody thing.
Woody
Oh, my God.
Ship Officer
One minute nothing, nothing at all. And the next minute, there they are. Look at them. There must be hundreds of them.
Woody
The Crescent.
Narrator/Listener
What?
Woody
They're still in their crescent formation. Just like in the history books, I think.
Ship Officer
You bet. Maybe better to tell the old man he's got a real problem on his hands.
Woody
Yeah, I'll do that. Yeah. They're really out there, aren't they?
Ship Officer
Something's out there, mate. Something's out there.
Witness/Observer
Hello? Hello? Is it. Is anyone out there? This is Plymouth calling. It's all over as far as I can make out. I can just see the Invincible from here. She seems to be burning. The Essex blew up an hour ago. Entire city's on fire. People running all over the place. God knows only what's happening. It's a nightmare. As far as I know, I'm the only one still on the air. They're moving in now that the wind has shifted. They're moving in past, the blazing hulk of the carrier coming right into the harbor. Good God, there are so many of them. Can sailing ships be that big? How long can a lost cause wait to rise? What caused all this? What are they? The water is rust red, blood red, ugly and molten. But they are beautiful, just like they said they would be. They're in the harbor now and they're beginning to shell the city. They're all firing at once. What a sight. What a terrible, terrible.
Ship Officer
The news blackout from England is still in effect. The president has warned that any attempt to interfere in this situation would be taken as meddling in English and international affairs and would not be tolerated. Meanwhile, here at home, the silly season is in full swing again. A couple in Atlanta, Georgia, report that they were overrun by what seemed to be a detachment of Confederate cavalry on a picnic in Stone Mountain Park.
Witness/Observer
Yep, we were just getting set up when it happened. Had the tablecloth out on the tailgate. Madge just put out the chicken and
Narrator/Listener
they come charging out of the woods. Just come charging out of the woods.
Witness/Observer
I'd never seen anything nothing like it.
Narrator/Listener
For first I thought it was some of them college boys like to dress up and raise hell. But they look too old to be students.
Witness/Observer
Well, then we thought it was a movie or something. But we looked around and there weren't any cameras or nothing.
Narrator/Listener
They just ran right over us, jumping over the car, yelling and screaming, swinging swords in the air.
Witness/Observer
One landed on the hood of the station wagon and crunched it all to hell.
Omar Bradbury
Now, who's gonna pay for that? That's what I want to know.
Narrator/Listener
But they did look grand in their uniforms. Really, really kinda grand, honey.
Narrator/News Reporter
World News International. Police in the city of Atlanta, Georgia are baffled by a bizarre act of vandalism. Sections of the city have been dug up into a series of trenches and redoubts. Restoration is estimated in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. In a related story, a number of Civil War era cannon have been stolen from the state park at Kennesaw Mountain. Authorities are looking for the thieves who seem to be firing the guns off various parts of the mountain.
Narrator/Host
Bumper's Crossroads, Bradbury's Funeral Home, was written by Ronan Butler. Heard were the voices of David Benedict, Daniel Taylor, Brad Strickland, Claire W. Kiernan, Trudy Leonard and Ron Butler. Armada Rising by Thomas C. Fuller featured the voices of David Benedict, Tamara Morton, Brad Strickland, Ron Butler, Daniel Taylor, Hal Wideemann, Claire Kiernan, Trudy Leonard and Ariel Stewart. To purchase the studio version of Armada Rising, visit us on the web at www.artc.org Music was composed and performed by Alton Leonard live fully sound effects by Sonya, assisted by Ariel Stewart. These shows were performed at Memorial hall at stone Mountain Park October 31, 2005 as part of into the Labyrinth 2005. Into the Labyrinth 2005 was produced and directed by Jeffrey M. Brown and David Benedict. And remember, there is adventure in sound.
Narrator/News Reporter
All material is copyright by its creators or the Atlanta Radio Theater Company.
Narrator/Listener
Artc.org.
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Title: Atlanta Radio Theatre Company – Bradbury’s Funeral Home, Armada Rising
Date: March 19, 2026
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
This episode features two audio drama productions presented by the Atlanta Radio Theatre Company. The first story, Bradbury’s Funeral Home by Ron N. Butler, is an episode in the “Bumper’s Crossroads” series, blending small-town humor and a meditation on mortality. The second piece, Armada Rising by Thomas E. Fuller, is a speculative radio play that riffs on mass hysteria, folklore, and apocalypse as the ghostly Spanish Armada rises from the sea, triggering a surreal cultural and societal upheaval in Britain and beyond.
A gentle, bittersweet tale examining the rituals of funerals, community bonds, and our confrontation with mortality, all through a comedic lens.
A supernatural cataclysm unfolds as the legendary Spanish Armada rises from the depths, spawning mass hysteria, cultural fads, and ultimately societal collapse in Britain—blurring the lines between myth and reality.
This double-feature episode is a sterling example of audio drama’s power: Bradbury’s Funeral Home delivers wry, heartfelt commentary on death and community, while Armada Rising unfurls a riveting supernatural parable about the contagious nature of myth and collective belief. The mix of sharply written humor, immersive storytelling, and surreal horror creates a memorable listening experience, drawing clear parallels between how societies process both loss and the inexplicable.
For more work by the Atlanta Radio Theatre Company, visit www.artc.org.