Atlanta Radio Theatre Company - Brotherhood of Damn Sassy Mutants

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Atlanta Radio Theatre Company – “Brotherhood of Damn Sassy Mutants: Ms. Rorschach If You’re Nasty”

Main Theme

In this irreverent and cheeky episode from Atlanta Radio Theatre Company’s superhero parody serial, the “Brotherhood of Damn Sassy Mutants” find themselves battling not just a returning villain, but a bizarre gender-switching epidemic after an evil pie is delivered to their door. The story, packed with quick-witted banter, comic-book tropes, and genre lampooning, dives into gender identity, the quirks of metahuman life, and plenty of meta-humor. It brings 1940s radio drama style into hilarious, contemporary territory with a strong ensemble cast.

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Key Sections & Discussion Points

1. Introduction to the Episode and the Cast ([00:37]–[03:37])

• Host Introduction (Sketch Quinn) welcomes listeners to “Artsy After Dark” and provides context for the episode’s adult-oriented, comedic tone.
• Introduction of the central cast: Sketch Quinn (host), Jonathan/Johnny (Olfactor X), Billy/William (Iron Sloth), Claire, Danny, Jeff/Jeffrey, Fiona, and guest artist Sasha Katz.
• Heavy emphasis on the irreverent and mature content:
  • “Tonight's show would be at least a PG-13.” (Fiona, 02:35)
• Banter and affectionate ribbing highlight the ensemble dynamic.

2. Setting the Scene – Mutant’s Loft and Bad News ([03:37]–[05:03])

• Narrator Jude introduces the metahuman “Brotherhood.”
• At their loft, the mutants discuss the government cutting metahuman program funding and see news of their nemesis, Dr. Eugene Splice (“Splicemeister”), being released from prison.

3. The Evil Pie Incident ([05:03]–[06:59])

• Rorschach eats a mysterious pie given by a suspicious monocled man (hinted to be Splicemeister).

• The group panics, suspecting poisoning, but hospital tests reveal nothing—setting up for stranger consequences.

• Memorable quote: “I think I'll go purge like Mary Kate.” (Sketch/Rorschach, 06:19)

4. Transformations and Gender-Bending Chaos ([08:26]–[12:19])

• Upon returning, Rorschach is revealed to have become a woman overnight.

• Comic confusion and body shock comedy ensue:

  • “What are these? I have chest...bouncy, sensitive chest tumors!” (Rorschach, 09:06)

• Friends adjust to Rorschach’s transformation, offer support (and new clothes), and try to trace the pie’s origin.

• Notable moment: “You’ve turned into a woman. Snap out of it and deal with reality or surreality.” (Iron Sloth, 09:18)

5. Pie Investigation and Meeting Dr. Scruffles ([12:19]–[15:02])

• Friends split up: Charmer and Iron Sloth investigate bakeries; Rorschach and Olfactor X visit Meta Medical.
• Dr. Scruffles, the metahuman dog doctor, explains Rorschach’s physiological changes, comic Origin: “Bitten by a radioactive man…” (Dr. Scruffles, 13:21)
• Medical scans show Rorschach is a functional woman except lacking reproductive ability, cause unknown.

6. Bakery Showdown & Splicemeister’s Betrayal ([15:02]–[17:33])

• The group confronts Splicemeister at a bakery. After thwarting his mutagen plans, they arrest him with meta-police backup.

• Charmer’s albino boa, Coco, subdues the villain.

• Comic quote: “It has six little lead friends that would love to get closer to your heart…” (Splicemeister, 16:42)

7. Gender-Swapping Escalates ([18:02]–[22:56])

• Rorschach visits Vibrabit (friend/superhero with vibrating powers) for a bra, leading to an intimate encounter.
• Viral contagion suspected when Olfactor X also swaps gender after contact.
  • “It looks like whatever put the girl whammy on me, man-whammed you.” (Rorschach, 19:48)
• Discussion around bodily changes, consent, and meta-sexuality is full of self-aware, tongue-in-cheek humor.

8. Resolution: Cure, Insights, and Reflective Humor ([22:56]–[26:05])

• The virus spreads through New Clay City but remains contained (only about 5% affected).

• Dr. Scruffles discovers that Rorschach’s ink has curative properties, and a reversal treatment is found.

• Rorschach (enjoying womanhood’s perks, reluctantly) is restored after a week.

  • “I have to wonder if I really want to be a guy again.” (Rorschach, 24:46)

• Memorable moment: Rorschach gets her first period: “Someone please take this crimson demon out of me!” (25:52)

9. Lighthearted Wrap-Up & Teaser ([26:05]–[27:19])

• Narrator Jude recaps the adventure and promises future “brain-boggling issues.”
• Rorschach, once again male, checks if “everything is exactly the way it’s supposed to be.” (26:34)
• Playful outtakes and the cast list, emphasizing the sketch comedy and improv style.

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Notable Quotes

• On adult content & tone:
  “Tonight's show would be at least a PG 13.” (Fiona, 02:35)
• On Rorschach’s transformation shock:
  “What are these? I have chest...bouncy, sensitive chest tumors!” (Rorschach, 09:06)
• Meta-humor:
  “This is a perverse dream come true. Aren’t you a little curious?” (Olfactor X, 21:09)
• On villain clichés:
  “Who bakes pies and wears a monocle? This guy must have pass-failed out of the Count Olaf School of Disguise.” (Iron Sloth, 05:50)
• On metahuman medical oddities:
  “We’ll be running tests. I’ll call you as soon as I find out anything.” (Dr. Scruffles, 14:15)
• On enjoying a new perspective:
  “Ever since I installed that shower massager, I haven’t even thought about going back.” (Rorschach, 24:59)
• On period pains:
  “Someone please take this crimson demon out of me!” (Rorschach, 25:52)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Episode/Host Introduction: 00:37 – 01:26
• Immature banter & cast intros: 01:26 – 03:37
• Narrative setup: 03:37 – 04:54
• Evil pie & medical panic: 05:03 – 06:59
• Finding out Rorschach’s gender swap: 08:26 – 09:24
• Meta Medical & meeting Dr. Scruffles: 12:19 – 15:02
• Bakery showdown with Splicemeister: 15:13 – 17:33
• Rorschach and Vibrabit’s encounter: 18:02 – 19:39
• Reversal & introspection: 22:56 – 26:05
• Rorschach’s period scene: 25:39 – 25:59
• Wrap-up and teasers: 26:05 – 27:19

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Engaging Takeaways

• The episode is a rapid-fire satire of superhero and mutant tropes, playing gleefully with gender identity, comic book clichés, and metahuman bureaucracy.
• The gender-swapping virus serves as both a comedic engine and a vehicle for commentary on identity and social norms.
• The sound design and cast chemistry evoke old-time radio while pushing boundaries with modern, self-aware humor.
• “Brotherhood of Damn Sassy Mutants” is a loving lampoon for fans of both classic radio drama and irreverent contemporary comedy.

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Transcript

[A]

Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my How We do it gaming team take on Gilly the King and Wallow $267 million gaming in an epic global gaming league video game showdown. Four rounds, multiple games, one winner, plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match against Neo right [e-mail] that's globalgamingleague.com everybody games.

[B]

How's it going, epcats? You're listening to another Atlanta radio theater Company podcast available [e-mail] I'm your host, Sketch Quinn. Today's piece is the second issue of a new serial to the Atlanta Radio Theater Company, the brotherhood of damn Sassy Mutants. This piece was performed in 2005 at Sci Fi Summer in Atlanta, Georgia. The title of the piece is Ms. Rorschach if you're nasty, written by yours truly. Sit back, take a drink, snuggle up and have a listen. Hey there, all you hemp cats, kittens and the like. Welcome to Artsy After Dark late night with America's new Maru Uno audio thespians, the Atlanta Radio Theater Company.

[C]

Now that's number one with a bullet. Sketch.

[B]

Hey there, Johnny. How's it hanging?

[C]

Actually, I've been mean to talk to you. It's Jonathan, not John.

[B]

How are you doing out there? Comfy Martinis dry enough? Good, good. My man Billy will take care of you. Right, Billy. That's William to you, Sketch. Hey, right you are. So let me introduce you to all my pack of rats here. I'm sure you'll all know Claire and Danny Kieran, an old single blue eye himself.

[C]

Ring a ding, ding, baby.

[B]

You know, that impression sucked a lot in rehearsal there, Danny. Same back at you, Sketcho.

[C]

And if you call me Danny again, I'll have my uncle Louie take care of you.

[D]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Alrighty. Jeff. Jeff, my man. Ladies and gents, it's Jeff Brown and his lovely wife Fiona.

[E]

Okay, we've told you like a thousand times.

[F]

It's Jeffrey. Jeff.

[D]

Re.

[C]

Sketch, we can't do this kind of material. I mean, have you. Have you read these scripts?

[B]

Heck, I wrote them.

[C]

You're going to hell for this sketch. To hell?

[B]

What he means is that the show tonight isn't what you call family friendly. That's right.

[F]

Tonight's show would be at least a PG 13.

[D]

Or maybe TV MA for television.

[B]

Or if you like manga, there's 16 plus. Happy happy. Go go Chibio Taco Fun dance party.

[G]

Oh, there's some light swearing, some adult

[H]

situations, and if you're imaginative enough, full

[I]

frontal nudity and graphic sex.

[B]

Really, Sasha? Famed webcomic artist Sasha Katz.

[E]

Folks, if that's Scarcasm sketch, I'm gonn your ass.

[B]

I love an enthusiastic gas. So just sit back, relax, heat up the chocolate fondue, pull up someone warm and soft and close your eyes. Maybe think of the cast of Firefly Naked while you listen to us present three sexy and irreverent episodes of the Brotherhood of Damn Sassy Mutants here tonight on Artsy After Dark.

[C]

Eureka.

[J]

My fine fiction fanatics. It's your old pal Jude the Dude Leaver here with another spine chilling, mind blowing bowel shattering issue of those slice of life supermen. The Brotherhood of Damn Sassy Mutants. A band of metahuman marvels sworn to be community active in a world that fears them, yet accepts their existence through a series of government sponsored social awareness programs. Today we find two of our heroes, the Ion Sloth and Olfactor X, at their overpriced four bedroom loft department gathered around the sloth computer, receiving word of an especially evil enemy's emancipation.

[C]

So, any news on the Metamonitor site today?

[F]

Not yet.

[G]

I'm checking my mail. My Uncle Vito just sent me a link to these funny redubbed GI Joe PSAs. They're great.

[C]

Is this a new monitor?

[G]

Yeah, I broke the old one a couple days ago. I was falling asleep on my computer. My metal skeleton's so heavy that I fell forward and smashed right through it.

[C]

Damn, that's what, the third one this year?

[G]

Tell me about it. I gotta stop playing these mass multiplayer RPGs late at night. I brought the news.

[C]

Oh, good. Oh, hell. The Creed administration has managed to get the bill to cut funding to metahuman programs approved. Wait a minute. Look down here.

[G]

Dr. Eugene Splice and released yesterday on probation.

[C]

Splicton the Splice Meister. The only supervillain we ever fought when we were a meta team.

[G]

Oh, right. I guess we better watch ourselves then.

[B]

Hey, guys.

[C]

Hey.

[G]

What are you eating?

[B]

Rorschach pie. Want some? It's apple, but it tastes orange.

[C]

Where did you get that pie?

[B]

This guy gave it to me.

[C]

What guy?

[B]

He came to the door with a pie. Said it was a promotion from that new bakery down on Frosh Street.

[C]

Did he look like Splice Meister to you at all?

[B]

Who?

[C]

What?

[B]

That dork off we gave a pants down spanking to when we were crime fighters? No.

[C]

Oh, well, at least there's that.

[B]

You know, now that I think of it, he didn't look too dissimilar. Same height and build, but a little leaner and, I don't know, wilder. Kind of looked like how Splicer would look after a couple of years incarceration at a maximum security correctional facility with a bunch of burly metahuman convicts preying on his weaker, pudgier body.

[C]

What an odd thing to say.

[B]

Also, this guy had a mustache and a monocle.

[G]

Who bakes pies and wears a monocle? This guy must have pass fail out of the Count Olaf school disguise.

[C]

I. I think we'd better get you to the hospital. The splice meister might have poison the pie or something.

[B]

What? How could he do that? He's in meta jail getting ozed in Tender Places by crocodile men and the like.

[C]

Read this.

[G]

Hmm.

[B]

President Creed's dicking us muties over again. Damn. Looks like another meta human rights rally. Do you want to carry signs this time?

[C]

No, no. Down here.

[B]

What? Oh. Oh. He's out, is he? I think I'll go purged like Mary Kate.

[C]

No, no, we need to call poison control and get you to the hospital.

[B]

I'll go with that. Ugh.

[G]

Wow. You guys were gone for hours.

[C]

It took a while for them to do all the tests. They couldn't find any poisons in the pie, though.

[B]

Yet they find it handy to pump your stomach for good measure. Oh, I've never felt so violated.

[C]

This may have been a red herring kind of thing. We'll have to keep our eyes open.

[B]

You do that. I'm going to get some shut eye myself. That visit took a lot out of me. And I don't just mean last night's dinner.

[C]

Go get some rest. We'll keep watch. Well, doesn't look like splice meister's getting in if he's going to try something. I've been watching the balcony and I've boarded up the windows just in case. Also, I put some jingle bells on

[G]

every entrance and no one's getting in without passing me. I've been playing my dance game right in front of the front door. This place is sealed tight.

[A]

Hey, it's Howie Mandel. And I am inviting you to witness history as me and my Howie do it. Gaming team take on Gilly the king and wallow. $267 million gaming in an epic global gaming league video game showdown. Four rounds, multiple games, one winner, plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and See who wins and advances to the championship match against Neo right [e-mail] that's globalgamingleague. Everybody Games.

[K]

Has the news been getting you down? I'm Megan McCardell and I'm here to help. I'm the host of a new show from Washington Post Opinion called Reasonably Optimistic. And it's an antidote to the pessimism

[F]

that's riddling America right now.

[K]

Every Wednesday, I'm going to talk to people who see a path forward.

[C]

It does seem to me that there is some awakening of a desire to

[G]

act together, to solve problems where they are.

[C]

You know, I am a believer in America and it's worth fighting for for.

[K]

Join me Wednesdays on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.

[B]

Hey, guys.

[G]

How did you get in here?

[C]

What? Who are you? What are you doing here?

[F]

What am I doing here? I'm a magic elf. I've come here to fry turkey bacon for Santa Claus.

[G]

What?

[F]

Dumbasses. It's me, Rorschach. My name's on the lease. What's with your brains today? Is it 4? 20 already? And what in the name of speedball's rubber butt is wrong with my voice?

[C]

Rorschach.

[F]

Olfactor X.

[C]

You're a woman.

[F]

And you're an ass.

[C]

Look down.

[F]

Look. What? What do you. Holy crap. What are these? I have chest tummy bouncy sensitive chest tumors.

[B]

Rorschach.

[G]

You've turned into a woman. Snap out of it and deal with reality or surreality. Olfactor. What's going on?

[F]

Yeah, what's happened to me?

[C]

How would I know? Splice Meister gets out of jail, gives you a pie, and now you're a woman. The pie.

[F]

Son of a bitch pie. I'm gonna punch it in the face.

[D]

Wait.

[F]

What happened to my.

[G]

Get your hand out of your pants.

[B]

Huh?

[H]

It's gone.

[F]

My little man of steel. What am I gonna. Hello? What's this? Oh. Oh. I need some time alone to sort this out. I'll be in the bath for, oh, an hour. Olfactor, could you use your scent powers to fill the bathroom with the smell of jasmine and peaches?

[C]

Okay.

[F]

Ah.

[C]

Charmer. Thank you for coming over. Did you bring them?

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Why'd you want me to bring some clothes and underwear over? Are you taking me on a weekend trip?

[C]

No, they're for Rorschach.

[E]

Why is he sidekicking with action transvestite? Charmer.

[F]

So good to see you.

[E]

Hugs, Ollie. Why is there a wet woman in a towel hugging me? Friend of yours.

[F]

It's me, Rorschach. I just had the most amazing bath. I never knew a water facet could be such a dear friend.

[E]

What? What's going on?

[C]

We're pretty sure our old enemy Splice Meister gave him the pie that turned him into a woman.

[G]

No way.

[F]

It's true. I ate some evil pie, got rushed to the hospital, took a nap and woke up with these beauties. I may never leave the apartment again.

[E]

Hey, that's no fair. How can you have bigger tits? I've been a woman for 22 years. You've been one for like two hours. Where's this magic pie?

[F]

It's okay, hun. Here, play with mine.

[C]

Whoa, hold up. This is getting way too weird. Rorschach, put on some of these clothes and settle down, okay? In your bedroom, please.

[F]

But I'm so hot now. Look, I shaved my legs.

[E]

Wow, that's smooth.

[C]

Please get dressed.

[E]

You'll probably need a bigger bra. Maybe vibrabit can help you out.

[C]

Yeah, you look about her size.

[F]

You two spend a lot of time looking at her chest, do you? I'll pop by her place after we pop by Meta Medical.

[C]

We should probably look into finding the Splicemeister. If he did this, he may be able to fix it.

[F]

We should start at the new bakery on Frost street where the pie supposedly came from.

[E]

I'll go with Iron Sloth and check it out. Have him print out a list of bakeries on that street and a picture of Splicemeister to show around. You take Rory to the hospital.

[F]

Thanks, babe. I'm gonna go change. I hope you brought something with a low neckline. Mm hmm.

[E]

Wow. Yeah, I don't think I've ever found him this attractive.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, no.

[F]

I mean.

[C]

Damn, this is confusing.

[J]

Top that house of Him. Great Caesar's gender Bender.

[C]

I'll.

[J]

You see, sassy ink slingers succumbed to a sinister sex switching syndrome of some sort. Quick as a flash, our heroes rush to their buxom brother. To the McCoy Metahuman Medical center and Research Facility. After hours of exhaustive tests, Rorschach waits for test results with his her best friend, Olfactor X.

[F]

Thanks for waiting for me, Olfactor.

[C]

It's okay. Got a lot of reading done.

[F]

Oh yeah? Whatcha got? Hmm.

[C]

Dark Tower series. Up to the part where Roland comes over and

[H]

our fellow Mr. Rorschach.

[F]

Still here. Ollie, I'd like you to meet my physician, Dr. Skruffles. Doctor, this is my roommate, Olfactor X.

[H]

Pleased to meet you.

[C]

Uh, you're. Forgive Me, if I'm way off. But are you a dog, doctor?

[H]

Very perceptive, Mr. X. Despite my business casual clothes and white doctor's coat, I am indeed a dog. A meta canine.

[C]

I hope you won't think me too rude by asking this, but.

[H]

It's a long story. But the short of it is that years ago I was test animal in this very hospital. Until the fateful day I was bitten by a radioactive man. Since then, I've had the proportionate mental powers, strength, balance, speech, opposable thumbs, and some believe, life expectancy of a human being.

[B]

Wow.

[H]

Exciting to be certain. Much like your friend's condition.

[F]

Hurf.

[H]

How are you feeling, Mr. Roschach?

[F]

Female.

[H]

Yes, I suppose that's to be expected. Well, all your tests show that you're a healthy young woman. For the most part. Unlike natural women, you do not have ovaries or egg cells, but rather your male parts have mutated, if you will, to assume the shapes of feminine organs.

[F]

So I'm still a guy?

[H]

Yes and no. You have the overall physiology and bodily processes of a woman, but you cannot bear children.

[F]

Well, shucks. Darn.

[C]

So if he's still a guy deep down, can the process be reversed?

[H]

We still as yet have not ascertained what did this to him. To be some form of mutagen, nanotechnology, viral infection. We'll be running tests, samples we took, and I'll call you as soon as I find out anything.

[F]

They pulled every fluid out of me but my ink.

[H]

Ink?

[F]

My metahuman power is the ability to shoot ink out of my wrists.

[H]

Better leave a sample cup of it just in case.

[E]

All right, well, we don't really need

[H]

to hold you for observations. You can feel free to go home. Please call the minute anything changes in your condition.

[F]

Will do, doc.

[H]

Be a good girl.

[F]

Now will I get a treat.

[H]

I'll even rub your tummy.

[C]

Okay, now I know this is just a sick fever dream of some kind. You'd better drive us home, Rory.

[F]

Can I?

[J]

Meanwhile, downtown Chalmer and the Iron Sloth search up and down Frost street looking for the Perplexing Pies. Place of preparation?

[G]

We're getting nowhere. We've been to every bakery on the block.

[E]

We have to keep looking. If we don't find Splice Meister, we may never be able to cure Rorschach of his femininity.

[G]

Yeah, I don't think my parents would approve of me living with a woman at this point in my life.

[F]

Ha, ha.

[E]

Thanks for helping me.

[G]

Look, he is my roommate. Looks like this is the Last place on the list.

[E]

I printed out Splice O Life. Spliced in baked goods. This should have been the first stop.

[G]

Oh, yeah. We should have read the whole list before we set out.

[E]

Well, same plan. You wait at the back exit and I'll take the front counter.

[F]

Hello, dear. How can I help you today?

[E]

Good afternoon, miss. Gosh, this is a lovely bakery. My name's Charmer. I'm looking for this man. Have you seen him?

[F]

Oh, no, I don't know. Eugene.

[E]

How'd you know his name?

[F]

I don't.

[E]

But you just said.

[F]

Well, he looks like a Eugene is all.

[E]

Well, if you've seen.

[F]

I haven't seen my brother in years.

[E]

So he's your brother? Who is the man in this printout?

[F]

Oh, I don't know what you're talking about.

[E]

What was that noise?

[H]

Oh, what do you mean?

[F]

Sneaking around in the back? I didn't hear anything.

[E]

I didn't say.

[H]

Oh. Run, Gene. The feds have come for you.

[D]

Back door. Back door. Back door.

[C]

Ow.

[D]

Who the. Oh, no.

[G]

Hey, you splice the iron sloth.

[D]

So you've come to take me away, have you? Well, take one more step closer and I'll use this vial of mutasplice fluid to turn you into a half monkey freak. The mon.

[H]

Yeah. Ow.

[D]

Well, you disarmed me of my mutasplace fluid. But let's see how you do against my revolver. It has six little lead friends that would love to get closer to your heart and I. Ow.

[F]

Is that your solution for everything swatted

[D]

out of the hand of the bad guy?

[G]

Can't argue with results.

[D]

Well, you've disarmed me, but I've always been faster than you. And you're a heavy metal skeleton. You'll never catch.

[F]

I don't know what types of weather.

[E]

Good work, Coco. I see you've met my albino boa. We're gonna walk you down to the police station and turn you in. If you don't, Coco's gonna crush your windpipe. If you cooperate and help cure Rorschach, then maybe the authorities will be able to cut you a deal. Now get walking.

[G]

Wait. Where's that Metamarinda card? Ah. As a licensed auxiliary agent in the Meta Crimes Unit of the Nucleic City Police Department, I hereby place you under citizen's arrest. You have the right to remain silence. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

[E]

That was easy.

[G]

How do you think we were able to catch him two years ago? You have the right to an attorney if you can't afford, attorney won't be appointed.

[I]

Hello?

[F]

Hey, Vibe Rabbit. It's me, Rorschach.

[I]

Oh, you're his sister.

[F]

No, I actually am Rorschach. It's a long story involving an evil pie but basically, I've been turned into a woman. Oh, okay. You seem relatively trusting and unfazed.

[I]

Well, I'm a woman with blue rabbit ears on the top of my head and the ability to transmit vibrations over short distances. I've learned to keep an open mouth.

[F]

Point taken.

[I]

What brings you by the vibra warren today? Proving your newfound womanhood to everyone in person.

[F]

Not a bad idea. I actually came by to borrow a bra. Everyone thinks we may be the same size.

[H]

Hmm.

[E]

Let me see here.

[I]

You didn't actually need to lift your shirt. But, hey, who am I to argue? Are they real?

[F]

My thorough inspections tell me they are. Go ahead. Feel. Okay. Wow.

[I]

Hey, check this out.

[F]

Ow.

[I]

Did that hurt?

[F]

No, it just surprised me. Do it again. Okay. What else can you do?

[I]

Thought you'd never ask.

[F]

Oh, wow. We must have dozed off. When I was a guy, I could only experience one one of those at a time. You want to go get some ice cream or something? Vibe Rabbit, wakey, wakey.

[C]

Hey, babe.

[F]

What did you do with Vibe Rabbit?

[C]

What do you mean? Hey, what's with my voice?

[F]

Blue bunny ears. Oh, crap. You're her.

[C]

Wait, wait, wait. What happened?

[F]

It looks like whatever put the girl whammy on me, man whammed you.

[C]

No way. No way.

[B]

Hey, look at this little fella.

[F]

Based on the fact that I passed it on to you, I have to assume that this condition is the result of a viral infection created by the warped machinations of Splice Jerko.

[C]

Hey, big guy.

[F]

Due to the nature of our recent sapphic tryst, I believe it can be passed through the exchange of bodily fluids and similar sexual contact.

[C]

You're a big fella, aren't you?

[F]

Yes, you are, sweet Typhoid Mary. I'm Pat. Zero for a social disease.

[C]

You're a big old superman, I think.

[F]

Vibes, will you please stop talking to your newfound wang and focus for a second?

[C]

I can't help it. He's so cute.

[F]

There are more important things going on right now.

[C]

That's not what you said 2 hours ago when you were calling me. Xena,

[F]

we need to call the hospital and get you checked out too.

[C]

Can we do something else first?

[F]

Get you some clothes from my place?

[C]

No. I mean, I've wondered what it's like to be the guy. And now I am. So I thought we might. You know.

[H]

What? No.

[C]

Oh, come on. I'd let you.

[F]

You haven't. In the past.

[H]

Come on.

[C]

This is a perverse dream come true. Aren't you a little curious?

[F]

No. Coitus non grata.

[C]

I think I can make it vibrate.

[H]

No.

[F]

Oh, okay.

[J]

Soon at the Brotherhood of Damn Sassy Mutant's overpriced four bedroom loft apartment.

[E]

Well, Splicemeister's in custody and it looks like he'll cooperate. There may be a chance for a cure.

[C]

Now I'm worried about Rorschach. He's been gone a long time.

[F]

Hey, gang.

[E]

Speak of the he, she, devil. Did you get what you needed from Vibrabit?

[H]

What?

[F]

How did you.

[D]

Oh,

[F]

right. The bra. Yeah, I got it.

[C]

The hospital called a little while ago. They found traces of a strange virus in your blood work. They think it may be the reason for your change. They don't think it's contagious as long as you avoid intimate contact with others.

[E]

That's never been much of a problem for you.

[F]

Well, lately it has.

[G]

What?

[C]

What do you mean?

[G]

You slept with Vibrat Vibrabit, didn't you?

[F]

Maybe.

[E]

Did she change kinda Vibrabit with man parts. Aw, man, now everyone's gonna get it soon.

[C]

What were you thinking?

[F]

What? You wouldn't have lesbian sex with Vibrabit. She can make her hands vibrate. Hell, I'd like to see a straight woman pass up a vanilla experiment with her.

[E]

She's right. There was this one time at Junior Medicine.

[C]

That doesn't matter right now. What does matter is that we.

[F]

No, wait. I want to hear this.

[G]

Yeah, me too. So are you two, like bunk mates?

[C]

Oh, dear Lord, yeah.

[J]

And there you have it. Metafans. Very quickly, the vivacious Vibe Rabbit swept through the promiscuous population of New Clay City with a confidence that can only come from a change in appearance, a sense of anonymity and a fresh new gender. Thankfully, her transformation had increased her dedication to contraception so only about 5% of the city's population swapped. Sex in those first few weeks of contagion. All seemed bleak and a new sexual epidemic looked ready to seize the city. We find our heroes preparing for the impending perils at their overpriced four bedroom loft apartment.

[E]

Mmm. Rorschach. I have to admit, this fondue party of yours was gold.

[F]

Thanks, sweetie. Pass me those strawberries.

[E]

Only if you pass me those marshmallows.

[G]

Well, this is a cool way to pass the time. We have to stay in. Can't go to the dance. Clubs anymore. You don't know which women are secretly playing the Crying Game?

[C]

Well, we ne. We never even went dancing. Your clothes end up smelling like smoke. And whatever your partner was drinking, it's just not what.

[F]

I'll get it. Hello, brotherhood of damn sassy mutants. She. Rorschach speaking. Dr. Squffles. What is it, girl? Did something happen down at the lab? I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it like that. It just came out that way. Honestly. You did? I can really just. That easily? Great. I'll see you tomorrow.

[G]

What you have to say?

[F]

They found a cure for the disease.

[C]

Really?

[F]

Yeah. There was some sort of antibody in my ink sample. They think that there might actually be some medicinal or healing properties in the crap I shoot out of my wrists.

[E]

Great.

[C]

How soon will you be a guy again?

[F]

She said they don't know for sure, but preliminary tests show the change taking no longer than a week. But I have to wonder if I really want to be a guy again.

[G]

What?

[F]

Well, don't get me wrong. Women have it hard with all the sports bras and hormones and stuff. But there are advantages. Everyone's so polite. Women are friendlier with me if I'm not dressed better than they are. And, hell, ever since I installed that shower massager, I haven't even thought about going back. The pros outweigh the cons.

[E]

But you could be doing permanent damage to yourself like this. Who knows what's going on inside of you?

[F]

Well, I have been a little more emotional recently. And I have been getting a little bit chunkier. Maybe I'm retaining that water the girls are always talking about. Then again, I have been eating a lot of chocolate lately.

[G]

You've only been a woman for, like, What, a month?

[F]

28 days, actually. I don't know. What?

[H]

Oh. Oh.

[C]

What happened?

[F]

I don't know. It feels like someone just kicked me in the belly.

[G]

Oh.

[F]

My insides feel like they're being run through a meat grinder.

[H]

Oh. I'm bleeding.

[E]

Welcome to womanhood, Rorschach.

[F]

Ah. Someone please take this crimson demon out of me.

[H]

They're all gonna laugh at you. I can see your dirty pillows.

[F]

Oh, sloth.

[J]

There you have it, my denizens of derring do. A cure is found, and everything is returned, more or less, to normal. Within a week, Rorschach was changed back into the sardonic Superman we've all come to know and love. And the dreaded Inkblot virus was reduced from a transgendering tragedy to a mild annoyance. Tune in to the next brain boggling. Issue when we'll hear the recently restored

[B]

Rorschach say, hey, Olfactor, do you know where the measuring tape is?

[C]

I think it's in the junk drawer. Why do you need it?

[B]

I just want to make sure that now I'm a guy again that everything is exactly the way it's supposed to be.

[C]

Oh, dear Lord. How do you even know this is for science?

[J]

Eureka fiction believers. I'll see you in the next issue of the Brotherhood of Damn Sassy Mutants. Tonight's episode of the Brotherhood of Damn Sassy Mutants starred Sketch Quinn as Rorschach, Jonathan Strickland as Olfactor X, Chris Hoover as Iron Sloth, Sasha Katz as Charmer, Jeffrey Brown as Wormhole Jackson Malevi Brevet and Flame on.

[C]

That's Flamian. Excuse me.

[J]

Special guest stars were Fiona Karenina and Leonard Brown as Ms. Rorschach, Clara Kiernan as Vibrabit and Mind Games, Karen Wilbanks as Dr. Scruffles, Daniel Kiernan as Matt

[G]

Ban,

[J]

Fuzzy Strube as Willie Johnson. Special guest villains were Alton Leonard as Splice Master and Alphonse and trudy Leonard as Ms. Splicton. I'm your host, Daniel Taylor as Jude the Dude Lieber. The Brotherhood of Damn Sassy Mutants was written by Sketch Quinn, produced and directed by William Allen Richard. Original music was by Brad Weege. Holy Effects were led by Sonya, who was assisted by Karen Wilbanks, Stephanie Orr and Daniel Kiernan. Let us know what you think of this show and others. God help us by visiting our website or by dropping us a [e-mail] and you can always buy our tapes and CDs at the arty table right out there. Artsy After Dark is a production of the Atlanta Radio Theater Company Unite.

[B]

If you want to see the Brotherhood of Damn Sassy mutants stage play giant 64 page annual, then come on down to Sketchworks in Decatur. Their website is www.sketchworkscomedy.com or more information can be found at www.m-rap.org. the performance will be Friday, November 3rd and Saturday, November 4th at 8pm Tickets are $10. The Atlanta Radio Theater Company will be performing into the Labyrinth at the Stage Door players in Dunwoody, Georgia. The box office number for that is 770-396-1726. For more information and reservations, the performances are Saturday, October 28th at 8pm and Sunday, October 29th at 2:30pm $10 admission. Thank you again for listening to Artsy's podcast. And remember, there is Adventure in Sound. All material is copyright by its creators

[C]

or the Atlanta radio theater company

[F]

artc.org

[A]

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[L]

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