Author! Author! 39-01-01 First Episode

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio - "Author! Author! 39-01-01 First Episode"

Release Date: July 23, 2025
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Episode Title: Author! Author! 39-01-01 First Episode

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Introduction to "Author! Author!"

In the inaugural episode of "Author! Author!", hosted by Harold's Old Time Radio, listeners are introduced to an engaging literary game sponsored by the B.F. Goodrich Rubber Company. The show features distinguished authors—Carl Van Doren, Ellery Queen, Ogden Nash, and guest writer Marion Collins—who collaboratively invent story beginnings based on surprising endings submitted by the audience.

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First Story Problem: The $2,001 Watch

Scene Setup (00:22 - 03:04):
The episode kicks off with a dramatization titled "The $2,001 Watch," set in Spiffin's renowned 5th Avenue jewelry store. A shabby-looking man attempts to purchase a platinum watch priced at $2,000 for just $1, causing a commotion.

Authors' Challenge:
The authors are tasked with creating a logical backstory that explains the man's audacious offer and the jeweler's unexpected acceptance.

Notable Contributions:

• Ogden Nash (03:27 - 04:48):
  Nash proposes that the man offering $1 is actually a rare coin collector, searching for a specific $1 American coin worth $5,000. His offer inadvertently supplies Mr. Spiffin with the elusive coin.
  Quote:
  "He’s one of those peculiar people, like stamp collectors, who collects coins... he noticed that the dollar… was a very rare coin." (03:51)

• Marion Collins (05:28 - 06:36):
  Collins introduces a layer of personal history, suggesting that Mr. Spiffin had borrowed $2,000 from the man, now seeking repayment through this unconventional transaction.
  Quote:
  "He had an old friend whom he approached for the capital… to put it like a jacket blurb on a book." (05:28)

• Ellery Queen (07:02 - 07:17):
  Queen challenges the ethical implications, questioning the disparity in the watch's valuation and suggesting ulterior motives behind the transaction.
  Quote:
  "He owed this man $2,000… but that watch didn’t cost him $2,000." (07:02)

• Carl Van Doren (07:20 - 08:34):
  Van Doren crafts a suspenseful narrative where Mr. Spiffin receives cryptic warnings about a kidnapping, leading him to interpret the man’s offer as a ransom plea.
  Quote:
  "He became convinced that this was the shabby customer…the way for him to communicate his willingness to pay whatever ransom." (07:20)

Interlude and Critique (08:37 - 09:19):
The authors engage in light-hearted banter, critiquing each other's stories and theories, adding humor and camaraderie to the segment.

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Second Story Problem: Safe Motoring with Silvertown Tires

Scene Setup (10:43 - 11:57):
The next problem presents a rainy day scenario where Mr. Silver halts his car abruptly on a slippery road, assuring his neighbor of his safety.

Authors' Response:

• Carl Van Doren (11:34 - 11:41):
  Van Doren succinctly attributes Mr. Silver's confidence to the superior design of Silvertown tires.
  Quote:
  "Mr. Silver had Goodrich Silvertown tires on his car." (11:34)

This segment seamlessly integrates the sponsor's product, highlighting the safety and reliability of Silvertown tires through a practical example.

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Third Story Problem: The Extraordinary Bequest

Scene Setup (12:07 - 13:01):
In a lawyer’s office, Mr. Chalmers reads a will that offers John Sutton the choice between inheriting a $10,000 estate or an empty envelope. Surprisingly, Sutton opts for the envelope.

Authors' Challenge:
Explain why Sutton would reject a substantial bequest in favor of an ostensibly worthless object.

Notable Contributions:

• Marion Collins (13:14 - 14:31):
  Collins crafts a heartfelt narrative where Mr. Sutton is coerced into choosing the envelope due to his tumultuous past with Mr. Black, including unethical business dealings and personal grudges.
  Quote:
  "Black has made it possible for me to take this money and enjoy life… or give it to the girl who really should have it." (13:14)

• Carl Van Doren (14:48 - 15:51):
  Van Doren introduces a twist involving Mr. Black's obsession with autograph collecting, revealing that the envelope contains a rare signature that could expose historical secrets about President Chester A. Arthur.
  Quote:
  "On the front it was addressed to Chester A. Arthur, President of the United States." (15:03)

• Ellery Queen (17:05 - 18:58):
  Queen devises a murder mystery wherein Mr. Sutton, a gambler, poisons his uncle Mr. Black using a tainted envelope, making the envelope both the key evidence and his only inheritance.
  Quote:
  "If he took the envelope, he would… destroy it because he was a pacifist… he simply refused the $10,000 and took the envelope." (17:05)

• Ogden Nash (19:03 - 20:29):
  Nash contributes an alternative explanation where the envelope contains a dangerous formula for poison gas, and Mr. Sutton’s pacifist ideals compel him to destroy it rather than risk global catastrophe.
  Quote:
  "He had invisible ink, the formula… a new and powerful poison gas…" (19:12)

Interlude and Interaction (20:35 - 22:16):
The authors interact with each other and engage in humorous exchanges, showcasing their personalities and the playful nature of the game.

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Final Impromptu Story Problem: Centipede, Spot, Airplane to London Zoo

Scene Setup (22:16 - 23:15):
In a spontaneous twist, a rapid-fire story problem is presented: "A centipede, a spot, an airplane to London Zoo."

Authors' Attempt:

• Ogden Nash (22:28 - 22:58):
  Nash struggles humorously to connect the disparate elements, leading to a playful exchange rather than a coherent story.
  Quote:
  "Well, there it is. Mr. Nash, make a story out of that as quickly as you can." (22:28)

• Ellery Queen and Carl Van Doren (22:58 - 23:15):
  The authors respond with witty remarks, highlighting the challenge and maintaining the show's light-hearted atmosphere.

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Audience Participation and Conclusion

Audience Engagement (20:42 - 21:50):
Host Jerry Lawrence invites listeners to submit their own story problems for a chance to have their scenarios crafted into stories by the authors, with cash prizes for selected entries.
Quote:
"Send your story problem… Each one accepted by us and used on this program will receive $25." (20:42)

Closing Remarks (23:14 - 23:38):
The episode concludes with a promotional segment for Silvertown tires, emphasizing their safety features, and a preview of the next episode featuring new guest authors.

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Key Takeaways:

• Interactive Storytelling: The show uniquely blends interactive storytelling with audience participation, encouraging listeners to engage creatively.
• Product Integration: B.F. Goodrich Rubber Company's Silvertown tires are seamlessly woven into narratives, highlighting their safety and reliability.
• Distinguished Authors: Featuring renowned authors like Carl Van Doren, Ellery Queen, and Ogden Nash, the program offers rich literary content with engaging dynamics.
• Humorous and Educational: The blend of humor, suspense, and moral dilemmas makes the storytelling both entertaining and thought-provoking.

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For listeners new to "Author! Author!", this episode serves as a captivating introduction to a literary game that challenges authors to create compelling narratives from unexpected story endings, all while promoting the safety and innovation of Silvertown tires.

Transcript

[Jerry Lawrence]

The B.F. goodrich Rubber Company presents author, author, author. Ladies and gentlemen, your authors, Ms. Marion Collins.

[Marion Collins]

Good evening.

[Jerry Lawrence]

Carl Van Doren.

[Ellery Queen]

How'd you do?

[Jerry Lawrence]

Ellery Queen.

[Ellery Queen]

I'm Ellery.

[Ogden Nash]

I'm Queen.

[Jerry Lawrence]

And our genial master of literary ceremonies, that distinguished humorist and light versifier, Ogdenash.

[Carl Van Doren]

On behalf of our sponsor, welcome, audience seen and unseen, to the first broadcast of Author, Author, briefly put Author. Author is a game of story invention in which you'll be able to hear how America's most famous writers invent their story plots. Ellery Queen, whom you all know as collaborators on detective fiction, and I will be with the program from week to week. Two different guest authors will play the game with us each broadcast. And Tonight's guests are Ms. Marion Collins, radio and short story writer, and Carl Van Doren, distinguished critic and novelist whose recent biography of Benjamin Franklin is among America's best sellers.

[Jerry Lawrence]

And speaking of bestsellers, here is a mighty interesting story. It's the story of safe motoring. And millions who have discovered through experience know that safe motoring spells just one thing. Silvertown Cords. Now, I just want to tell you one of the reasons why this is so. Silver Towns are the ultimate entire perfection. They are the product of the best laboratory brains that the B.F. goodrich Rubber Company could set to work to make your motoring safe. Wherever you go, on whatever kind of roads you choose, buy Silvertowne cords. You ride safely with the protection that the best brains could put into tires. And now, Mr. Ogden Nash.

[Carl Van Doren]

The game of Author Author begins with a little drama. It's called the $2001 watch. The scene is Spiffins famous 5th Avenue jewelry shop. As the store opens, the day's first customer, sh. A shabbily dressed man, enters and speaks to Mr. Stillman, sales clerk.

[Mr. Stillman]

Good morning.

[Ogden Nash]

I'd like to see a watch. Yes, of course. Any particular kind of watch?

[Mr. Stillman]

No.

[Jerry Lawrence]

Any watch?

[Mr. Spiffin]

Very good, sir. Now here, sir, is a very fine.

[Ogden Nash]

Platinum case jewel watch. What's the price of it? $2,000, sir.

[Ellery Queen]

I'll give you $1 for it.

[Ogden Nash]

$1? That's what I said. Excuse me, sir, but are you serious?

[Ellery Queen]

I offer you $1 for that watch, and I mean.

[Ogden Nash]

Get out of here.

[Ellery Queen]

Get out.

[Ogden Nash]

Is this your idea of a joke? Why?

[Carl Van Doren]

What's all this commotion about?

[Jerry Lawrence]

Why?

[Ogden Nash]

Why, this man, Mr. Spiffen, has the nerve to offer me $1 for this $2,000 watch?

[Mr. Stillman]

Very well. Sell the gentleman the watch for the dollar.

[Carl Van Doren]

Our little drama has rather an unexpected ending. And that's where our four authors come in. Their Part of the game now is to create extemporaneously, a logical beginning to explain why a man should have the nerve to offer $1 for a $2,000 watch and why the jeweler should have the geniality to accept it, to put it like a jacket blurb on a book. They've got to tell us what unusual tale of romance, sentiment or intrigue lies behind this paradox of spittings. Their stories are unrehearsed. Don't mind if they stumble a bit. That's the idea of.

[Ogden Nash]

Author.

[Ellery Queen]

Author.

[Carl Van Doren]

Now, Ms. Collins, Mr. Van Doren, who'd like to take a shot at that?

[Marion Collins]

Oh, don't pick on me for the first one. I think one of the queens should go first.

[Mr. Spiffin]

Queen first, by all means.

[Ogden Nash]

Oh, I. I think. I think Ellery should come first. Ellery comes before queen.

[Ellery Queen]

Well, that may be true, but in the telephone book, Queen comes first.

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, what happens before Ellery in the telephone book?

[Ogden Nash]

Well, I. I'll yield to that authority. I suppose. I'm on the spot here. As I see it, Mr. Spiffen, I'll have to start my story with Mr. Spiffin. Mr. Spiffin, in his off moments at the times when he's not at his establishment, has a hobby. He doesn't play golf particularly, nor does he care terribly much for bridge or cultivating spring onions.

[Jerry Lawrence]

He collects coins.

[Ogden Nash]

He's one of those peculiar people, like stamp collectors, for example, who collects coins. Now, he has developed a tremendous collection over the period of many years. Matter of fact, it's probably one of the greatest collections of rare coins in the world. Very expensive collection. And one thing has always been the bane of Mr. Spiffin's existence. He hasn't been able to get hold of a certain very rare coin. It's a $1 coin of American, American extraction. It's worth $5,000. He's been willing to pay almost any price for it, but he hasn't been able to find one. Well, now, when Mr. Spiffin came in, he came out to see what the commotion was about. He noticed that the dollar, the dollar which the shabbily dressed man was offering to Mr. Stillman, the clerk, was not a bill, but a coin. And what was it but this very coin? Well, of course he was going to.

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, at least that proves it can be done. Now, we have an interlude known as the are you sure? Period. Comments and criticisms, insults pro and con, are invited on Mr. Queen's explanation.

[Ellery Queen]

I wonder if Mr. Queen himself is a coin collector. I wonder if he has the first dollar he ever made.

[Ogden Nash]

As a matter of fact, I never made tomato for his dollar.

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, it's easy to begin on the second, I suppose, but Are there any further. That was an insult, wasn't it? Any criticism?

[Ogden Nash]

I can only criticize the insult.

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, then perhaps, Ms. Collins, have you a reconstruction of this episode?

[Marion Collins]

Well, I have a fairly simple one. I can visualize that a great many years ago, Mr. Sniffen possibly was an apprentice in a jewelry store and had an opportunity to buy a store and no money, being a young man and poor and struggling one thing or another. And he had an old friend whom he approached for the capital, which consisted of $2,000. He started in business with that and made the very distinguished jewelry shop known today as Sniffens. And as he approached the clerk and this shabbily dressed man to see what the commotion was about, he recognized the old friend who had advanced him the money for the opening of his business, whom he had forgotten all over these years and had repudiated the loan and felt that he would be justified in accepting the dollar for the watch in as much as $2,000. Would mean that the discrepancy between there would be the $2,000 he had borrowed.

[Carl Van Doren]

Would that.

[Ellery Queen]

Mr. Nash?

[Carl Van Doren]

And I suppose it would apply to Spiffins as well as to sniffins.

[Ogden Nash]

Come on.

[Ellery Queen]

Mr. Nash.

[Carl Van Doren]

Yes, Miss Dellery?

[Ellery Queen]

I'd like to quarrel with the ethics of Spiffin, or sniffing, as it may be. Let's compromise on chipping, shall we? He owed this man $2,000 for a long time, but that watch didn't cost him $2,000.

[Carl Van Doren]

He's been wondering about that.

[Ellery Queen]

At best, it cost him $1,000. He rather got out of it easily, didn't he?

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, I think element still insane thing.

[Mr. Spiffin]

I think the man was just having his conscience fun.

[Carl Van Doren]

Listen, I think the man is very.

[Ellery Queen]

Lucky to get the watch.

[Carl Van Doren]

Mr. Van Doren, would you like to take a try at this?

[Mr. Spiffin]

Well, I shall have to bring in the deep tragic note. I figure that Mr. Spiffin lived in Marwa, New Jersey, and three days before, his only heir had been kidnapped. Since that time, he had been getting a daily letter. He always found it lying on the sidewalk when he left his house. The first day it said, watch the shabby customer. And the second day it mysteriously said $2,000. And the third day it had said nothing at all. He was very much embarrassed. Now he was actually hanging around in the store all the time because he watched every customer that came in. But when this customer came in and when he offered one dollar for the two thousand dollar watch. Mr. Spiffin, listening for a while, became convinced that this was the shabby a customer. This was the $2,000. And the way for him to communicate his willingness to pay whatever ransom or to deal with the kidnappers was to give in now and say that he would take $1 for a $2,000 watch.

[Carl Van Doren]

A very ingenious and I should think, foolproof explanation.

[Mr. Spiffin]

Foolproof?

[Ellery Queen]

It's not quite. Well, I yield to you, Mr. Green.

[Ogden Nash]

Well, I was just about to say before you were going to put your annoying voice into the microphone because, I mean, you and I never.

[Ellery Queen]

I didn't give a story. You shouldn't, heck.

[Ogden Nash]

Well, I was just about to say that we ought to look to our laurels. Mr. Van Doren, who's never to my knowledge done a detective story, has just reconstructed one very beautifully and in a minute and a half.

[Ellery Queen]

Ah, yes, but you forget that I.

[Mr. Spiffin]

Have read all the queen's detective stories.

[Ellery Queen]

Thank you. Very nice.

[Marion Collins]

I have some flowers here.

[Ellery Queen]

I had something to say, Mr. Nash. Mr. Van Doren spoke of the third note as saying nothing at all. How did he know it was a third note if it said nothing at all?

[Mr. Spiffin]

I meant to say the third day he'd got no nototypes.

[Ogden Nash]

Well, I think you got out of.

[Mr. Spiffin]

That very neatly, sir.

[Carl Van Doren]

Mr. Ellery?

[Ellery Queen]

Well, I have. I wonder if there is a fourth solution anywhere. I visualize Mr. Spiffin as having a friend who was very fond of making ridiculous bets. The previous night, after a game of chess in Mr. Spiffin's home, his friend suggested a bet, something along these lines. He bet Mr. Spiffin $2,000 that the next morning he wouldn't okay the very first transaction that would take place in the spiffin jewelry store. Mr. Spiffin, to humorous friend, agreed to accept the bet. And early the next morning, the friend hired the shabby man for a few dollars to go in and offer $1 for a $2,000 watch. Now, Mr. Spiffen found himself in a rather peculiar position. If he refused to sell the $2,000 watch for $1, he would have to pay the $2,000 bet to his friend and therefore be out $2,000. However, if he accepted the $1 for the $2,000 watch, he would not have to pay the $2,000 and would actually be $1 ahead on the transaction. And I haven't brought in sales tax because that might make it complicated.

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, I think he could have had it sent out of the state, couldn't he?

[Ellery Queen]

Avoid the sales Tax. You picked me up on the wholesale business.

[Carl Van Doren]

Yes, I know about the price of the original price of that watch.

[Jerry Lawrence]

Mr. Nash.

[Ogden Nash]

Yes.

[Jerry Lawrence]

I have a little problem here I'd like to give our authors now. May I? Go ahead.

[Carl Van Doren]

Are there any objections?

[Ogden Nash]

No. No, that's it.

[Carl Van Doren]

All right.

[Jerry Lawrence]

The scene is a wet, slippery road on a rainy day. Mr. Silver is giving his neighbor, Mr. Town, a lift in his car.

[Ellery Queen]

Nasty day, Silver.

[Mr. Stillman]

Yeah. It's kind of tough to see through the windshield.

[Ogden Nash]

Yeah.

[Ellery Queen]

Look at that big truck ahead. It hides the traffic light.

[Mr. Stillman]

I can't tell where he's going to stop.

[Ogden Nash]

And look out.

[Ellery Queen]

He's jammed down his brakes.

[Ogden Nash]

Swing over to your left.

[Carl Van Doren]

No, no, no.

[Ogden Nash]

Don't do that. Don't.

[Ellery Queen]

Why, man, you're crazy. Don't you know any better than to jam on your brakes and come to a sudden stop like that? Why, the car might have skidded and we. We might have been killed.

[Mr. Stillman]

Not at all, Town. I did it because I knew I was perfectly safe.

[Ogden Nash]

There it is. Authors.

[Jerry Lawrence]

Why did Mr. Silver, jamming on his brakes and coming to a sudden stop on a wet, slippery road, know it was perfectly safe?

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, the answer's perfectly obvious. Mr. Silver had Goodrich Silvertown tires on his car.

[Ogden Nash]

Right you are.

[Jerry Lawrence]

And that's the one thing about Silvertowns that every motorist knows is important. He wants tires that don't skid. And that means Silvertowns, they don't skid because Silvertowne treads are built for safety. All right, Mr. Nash.

[Carl Van Doren]

And now to continue.

[Ogden Nash]

Author.

[Carl Van Doren]

Author with another story Problem. The extraordinary bequest scene. A lawyer's office. Mr. Chalmers, the attorney, is reading a will to John Sutton.

[Ogden Nash]

Item. To my friend John Sutton.

[Carl Van Doren]

I, William Black, give and bequeath my entire estate or the envelope herewith attached to my last will and testament.

[Mr. Stillman]

What's that? His entire estate or an envelope?

[Carl Van Doren]

Yes, that's right.

[Ogden Nash]

Here's the envelope. What?

[Mr. Stillman]

It's empty. There's nothing in it. The estate's worth, well, easily $10,000.

[Carl Van Doren]

Yes, black was a queer one. No telling what he had in mind.

[Ogden Nash]

But perhaps it was only a joke.

[Carl Van Doren]

You'll take the estate, of course, seeing that you're not well off, that is, financially speaking.

[Mr. Stillman]

Mr. Chalmers, I'm a poor man, and William Black knew it. $10,000 would mean everything in the world to me. Nevertheless, I'll take the empty envelope.

[Carl Van Doren]

An extraordinary bequest, indeed.

[Ogden Nash]

Authors.

[Carl Van Doren]

Why did John Sutton, a poor man, refuse a $10,000 bequest in order to accept an empty envelope?

[Ogden Nash]

Who goes first here?

[Ellery Queen]

Well, I mean, I pass, I think.

[Carl Van Doren]

Shall we let Ms. Collins start first? Women and children first. I think the theory being the first lifeboat out is the one that sinks.

[Marion Collins]

And here I think. All right, I'm going to tell you the story as I imagine Mr. Sutton might have told it to the lawyer sitting there across from his desk. Well, I've known Mr. Black for many years. We've been associated in business. I worked for him, Mr. Black, for many years, upwards of 15 years. And he's a very mean man. I never liked him. And about 10 years ago, a niece of his came to live with him and keep house for him. She had. Her mother and father had died. She had no money, and he came there and used her as a drudge. She took care of his house, clothes, and he never gave her any money. Was really a very, very mean person. And I couldn't say very much I worked for the man. But every once in a while I'd put in a word of protest against his treatment of the girl. And he would ignore me, of course. And then as the years have gone by, I knew when he was dying that the girl, it was his only heir. And I think this is a pretty grim jest. Black has made it possible for me to take this money and enjoy life for the rest of my life or give it to the girl who really should have it. And he made me make the choice between the two.

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, I think that's very interesting indeed. I'm so glad Mr. Black is dead. Is that. Are there any holes that we can poke in that?

[Ellery Queen]

It'd be a shame to poke a hole in a story like that.

[Marion Collins]

Thank you.

[Carl Van Doren]

We'd always put Mr. Black in it, of course. Mr. Van Doren, have you a suggestion?

[Mr. Spiffin]

Well, nothing with that high romantic note. As I see it, These two men, Mr. Black and Mr. Sutton, had been rival autograph collectors. Mr. Black, who left with the estate, had been more successful. And he had been able to reduce the legacy Sutton, almost to poverty. So that when he died, he felt a little bit sorry and he decided he would leave him something. But he wouldn't leave him something unless he were expert enough to know the value of it. You didn't notice the business in the story, which was that when Sutton took the envelope and said $10,000 would mean everything in the world to me, he turned it over and he noticed written on the back of it. Now, he knew a man, a potato baron up in Aroostup County, Maine.

[Ogden Nash]

Who.

[Mr. Spiffin]

Had been been spending years making a complete collection of autographs of all of his select men of all of the town in that place. He had as a matter of fact, every single autograph of every single selectman of every town in Rostock, Maine. Except the autograph of Ezekiel Hiram Pratt. And, and this was on the back. There was only H.H. pratt. And he wouldn' have known that except that on the front it was addressed to Chester A. Arthur, President of the United States. Now Mr. Sutton, being an expert, knew that at one of his more frugal moments, Hiram Hezekiah, Hiram Pratt had written a letter to Chester A. Arthur asking him to use his influence to get Pratt's son a position in West Point.

[Carl Van Doren]

Take that. Throws a very interesting light on the life of Chester A. Arthur.

[Ellery Queen]

It's amazing that Mr. Van Dorse and didn't use an autograph of Benjamin Franklin. Yes, yes.

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, I think it was very self effacing of him, wasn't he?

[Ogden Nash]

Well, I think there's a very good reason probably why he didn't. Did they have envelopes in Benjamin Franklin's day, Mr. Van Dyke?

[Mr. Spiffin]

No, no, they didn't have. They simply folded the paper up. But I wouldn't have minded that.

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, Mr. Allery, have you.

[Ellery Queen]

Well, I visualize Mr. Sutton as being the nephew of Mr. Black, in fact his only relative. And being his only relative for a long time, Mr. Sutton has been expecting to be Mr. Black's heir. Mr. Sutton, however, is an heir do. Well, a waster. A man who has a passion for gambling. And he's got himself into serious financial difficulties. Of course he could wait for Mr. Black to die a normal death, but he decided that if he could speed things up, it would help his own particular position. So he invented a rather clever ruse to help to speed up that Legacy. You see, Mr. Black made his modest fortune in the stationery business. He manufactured envelopes and letter paper and so on. And one day, pretending to turn over a new leaf, Mr. Sutton came to his uncle, Mr. Black and said that he had just made a remarkable discovery. He had invented a glue that didn't taste like glue, in fact could be flavored. And if put on the backs of envelopes, people could get mint flavored flaps, clove flavored flaps and so on. So he sent as a sample to Mr. Black one in Mr. Black's own particular, his favorite flavor, pistachio. Now, Mr. Black, Mr. Black used to spend his weekends in a hunting shack in the woods, all alone, with no telephone. And one weekend as he was trying his nephew's envelope, he realized to his horror that the flap wasn't pistachio. Flavored, but was coated with nicotine. And of course, he was poisoned. And in leaving, in the few minutes before he. He died, he left instructions to Mr. Chalmers, the lawyer, to let Mr. Sutton take either the estate or the envelope which represented the only evidence against the. The nephew, that he was involved in Mr. Black's death.

[Carl Van Doren]

I think that's so ingenious that we can hardly ask any questions of Mr. Ellery at all.

[Ellery Queen]

I could heckle myself.

[Mr. Spiffin]

Don't write me any letters.

[Carl Van Doren]

That takes care of our author's part in the game of author.

[Ogden Nash]

Author.

[Carl Van Doren]

There's also a very.

[Ogden Nash]

Excuse me. Haven't I been left out? Oh, I beg your pardon. Oh, that's perfectly all right. I'm perfectly willing to be left out.

[Carl Van Doren]

No, no, no, no. I'd hardly call it a minor oversight.

[Jerry Lawrence]

No, no, no, no.

[Ogden Nash]

It's quite minor.

[Carl Van Doren]

I'd like to hear your approach to this.

[Ogden Nash]

Well, as a matter of fact, it's hardly good enough to be dignified by an approach. I merely visualized John Sutton as a pacifist. Now, you might ask what pacifism has to do with the rejection of a $10,000 request, the acceptance of an empty envelope. Well, he recognized the fact that on this envelope was written in invisible ink, the formula. I forgot to tell you, incidentally, that John Sutton was a chemist. The formula of a new and powerful poison gas which would decim. I won't use the word decimate, Mr. Van Duren.

[Ellery Queen]

That's a bad word.

[Ogden Nash]

Which would depopulate the world. And now he had a tough. He had a tough decision to make. If he took the envelope, he would, of course, take it merely for one purpose, to destroy it. Because he was a pacifist, he didn't want to see a new weapon like this given to the world. On the other hand, if he left the envelope and took the $10,000 bequest, he would be leaving that thing to the world. And so, being the true idealist, he simply refused the $10,000 and took the envelope. That is true. I'll be honest with you.

[Mr. Spiffin]

I'm glad you didn't use that decimate. That means only one out of ten.

[Ogden Nash]

I recognize that.

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, we're doing better than that nowadays, I think. Well, that seems to take care of our author's part in the game of author.

[Ogden Nash]

Author.

[Carl Van Doren]

There's also a very interesting and profitable part which our audience is inv. And here's Mr. Lawrence to tell you about it.

[Jerry Lawrence]

Ladies and gentlemen, the two story problems we gave our authors tonight we made up. But we'd like you, our audience, to make up the ones we use next week and every week thereafter for cash prizes. Send your story problem as many as you wish. Each problem should consist merely of the surprise ending of a story along the lines of what you heard tonight. Now, don't dramatize your story. We'll do that. All you have to do is write in a short paragraph, in as few words as you wish, the surprise ending of a story. You don't have to figure out the beginning. That's the job of our authors. Make the endings of your story problem as hard to explain as you can. Each one accepted by us and used on this program will receive $25. And here's what we'll do with the story. We'll give it to our authors and have them create the beginning right here in the studio. So come on now, listeners. Here's your chance to win $25 or more and put America's most famous authors to the test. There are no strings attached to this offer. Anyone can enter. Send us as many story problems as you wish. Send them to author. Author, care of the B.F. goodrich Rubber Company, Akron, Ohio.

[Ellery Queen]

Just a moment, Mr. Lawrence. We're not finished yet. We'd like to have a friendly little chat with Mr. Nash.

[Carl Van Doren]

Yes, Horry, what is it?

[Ellery Queen]

Well, you've been having a fine time listening to us struggle with inventing story plots. And I mean struggle.

[Carl Van Doren]

I've never seen so many distinguished people quite so uncomfortable.

[Ellery Queen]

All right, Mr. N. See how good you are at inventing stories. Oh, Ms. Collins, Mr. Van Doren, Queen and I will give you a story problem. And let's hear you say nothing was.

[Carl Van Doren]

Said about that when I came here.

[Ogden Nash]

And, Mr. Nash, the audience will do the heckling this time. They'll let you know what they think of your story.

[Ellery Queen]

How about it, audience?

[Ogden Nash]

No excuses now. Here we go. A centipede.

[Jerry Lawrence]

A spot.

[Ellery Queen]

An airplane to London Zoo.

[Carl Van Doren]

Oh, dear. Centipede a spot.

[Ogden Nash]

Well, There it is. Mr. Nash, make a story out of that as quickly as you can.

[Carl Van Doren]

I. I do not like the centipede. A bug we do not really need. You always whack him where he's not. Or if he is, he leaves a spot.

[Ellery Queen]

Mr. Nash, where's the airplane?

[Mr. Spiffin]

And how about my zoo?

[Carl Van Doren]

And we take the airplane to get out of this spot? I'm glad to be out of that. Good night. Good night.

[Ellery Queen]

Good night.

[Jerry Lawrence]

Well, I never imagined there could be so many versions of the same plot. Very interesting. Very original. But I know one story that has only one version. It's original, too, and thrilling every bit of the way. I mean, the story of modern motoring on Silvertown, to give you the perfection of Silvertowns has required years of experimentation in the laboratory. To build into these matchless tires the greatest resistance to heat and thereby forestall the possibility of a blowout. No pains have been spared. You might roll along very easily in cool security mile after mile on tires built to defy every kind of road punishment. For the sake of your comfort and safety, buy Silver Towns and enjoy an absolutely new chapter in motor enjoyment. Every mile of every way, every day of the year. Listen in this same time next week for more fun with the authors. Ellery Queen will be with us. Carl Van Doren probably be here. And Ogden Nash will be our genial master of literary ceremonies. Our guest authors will be Fanny Hurst and John Erskine. And don't forget to send your story problems to author. Author care of the B.F. goodrich Rubber Company, Akron, Ohio. Each one selected and used on this program will receive $25 and the name of the person submitting it will be mentioned. Naturally, no story problems can be returned and all submissions, whether used or not, become the property of the B.F. goodrich Rubber Company. You'll know you're in for another fiction fun fest when you hear them call for offering. Jerry Lawrence speaking. And for the B.F. goodrich Rubber Company saying good night and good motoring. This is the Mutual Broadcasting System.