Author Author 39-01-11 01 The $2001 Watch

Summary

Harold's Old Time Radio: Author Author Episode – The $2001 Watch

Release Date: April 2, 2025

Overview

In this engaging episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, titled Author Author 39-01-11 01 The $2001 Watch, listeners are treated to a captivating session of the interactive storytelling game "Author, Author." Hosted by Jerry Lawrence, the program features esteemed authors Marion Collins, Carl Van Doren, Ellery Queen, and the renowned humorist Ogden Nash. The episode delves into the creative minds of these literary figures as they collaboratively invent story beginnings based on intriguing surprise endings presented during the show.

---

Introduction to "Author, Author"

At the heart of the episode is the innovative game "Author, Author," where renowned authors are challenged to create compelling narratives from unexpected story conclusions. The premise involves presenting a paradoxical or surprising ending, prompting the authors to develop plausible and engaging story beginnings that logically lead to that conclusion.

---

Story Problem 1: The $2001 Watch

Timestamp: 01:39 – 19:12

Scenario Presented: A shabbily dressed man offers $1 for a $2,000 platinum watch in Mr. Spiffin's renowned 5th Avenue jewelry shop. Surprisingly, the jeweler agrees to the deal, leaving listeners to ponder the underlying reasoning.

Authors' Reconstructions:

1. Marion Collins (00:58 – 06:36): Collins imagines Mr. Spiffin as a coin collector desperately seeking a rare $1 American coin worth $5,000. When Mr. Spiffin notices that the “$1” offered is, in fact, this coveted coin, it explains his willingness to accept the seemingly undervalued watch offer.

   “Mr. Spiffin... noticed that the dollar which the shabbily dressed man was offering... was this very coin.” [03:27]

2. Carl Van Doren (07:02 – 09:17): Van Doren introduces a dramatic twist where Mr. Spiffin, traumatized by his heir's kidnapping, interprets the $1 offer as a ransom proposition. His acceptance of the watch at such a low price is a strategic move to negotiate with the kidnappers discreetly.

   “He gave in now and said that he would take $1 for a $2,000 watch.” [07:04]

3. Ellery Queen (09:20 – 10:33): Queen posits that Mr. Spiffin owes Mr. Nash $2,000. Offering the watch for $1 serves as a means to balance the books, subtly repaying the debt without direct confrontation.

   “He owes this man $2,000 for a long time.” [06:57]

4. Ogden Nash (19:25 – 20:29): Nash provides a pacifist angle, suggesting that the envelope contains a formula for a powerful poison gas. Mr. Sutton, recognizing the danger, chooses the empty envelope to prevent the spread of this weapon, thereby explaining the rejection of the $10,000 bequest in the subsequent story problem.

   “He simply refused the $10,000 and took the envelope.” [19:25]

Notable Interactions: The authors engage in playful banter, challenging each other's explanations and adding depth to their narratives. Ellery Queen and Carl Van Doren exchange witty remarks, enhancing the episode's dynamic atmosphere.

---

Story Problem 2: Safe Motoring with Silvertown Tires

Timestamp: 10:47 – 11:57

Scenario Presented: Mr. Silver confidently jams his brakes on a wet, slippery road, assuring his neighbor Mr. Towne that he is perfectly safe.

Authors' Explanation: The underlying reason for Mr. Silver's confidence is attributed to his possession of Silvertown tires, renowned for their superior tread design that prevents skidding even under adverse conditions.

“Silvertown treads are built for safety.” [11:08]

---

Story Problem 3: The Extraordinary Bequest

Timestamp: 11:57 – 16:58

Scenario Presented: In a lawyer's office, Mr. Chalmers reads John Sutton's will, stating that John can inherit his entire estate of $10,000 or an empty envelope. Surprisingly, John chooses the envelope despite its apparent lack of value.

Authors' Reconstructions:

1. Marion Collins (13:03 – 14:31): Collins envisions a backstory where Mr. Spiffin recognizes the empty envelope as a means to settle an old debt with a friend who had financially supported him in the past. Accepting the envelope symbolizes repaying this debt, outweighing the monetary value of the bequest.

   “He had an old friend... he recognized the old friend... and felt that he would be justified in accepting the dollar for the watch.” [05:28]

2. Carl Van Doren (14:58 – 17:05): Van Doren introduces a narrative where the empty envelope contains a critical autograph needed for a prestigious collection. Mr. Sutton, understanding its value to his rival autograph collector, opts for the envelope to complete the collection, thereby enhancing his standing and reputation.

   “The envelope was addressed to Chester A. Arthur, President of the United States.” [15:32]

3. Ellery Queen (17:08 – 19:03): Queen crafts a tale of familial betrayal where John Sutton, facing financial ruin due to gambling debts, manipulates his uncle Mr. Black into choosing between the empty envelope and the $10,000. The acceptance of the envelope is a strategic move to expose Mr. Black's wrongdoing and secure justice.

4. Ogden Nash (19:25 – 20:29): Nash's interpretation relates to his earlier narrative, where the envelope contains a dangerous formula. Mr. Sutton, practicing pacifism, rejects the financial gain to prevent the dissemination of a lethal weapon, aligning with his ethical principles.

---

Author Interactions and Banter

Throughout the episode, the authors engage in lighthearted exchanges, often challenging each other's theories and injecting humor into their discussions. This camaraderie not only entertains but also showcases the authors' diverse perspectives and creative approaches to storytelling.

Ellery Queen: “I wonder if Mr. Queen himself is a coin collector.” [05:02]

Ogden Nash: “I think Ellery should come first. Ellery comes before queen.” [03:16]

---

Audience Participation Invitation

Towards the episode's conclusion, host Jerry Lawrence invites listeners to participate by submitting their own story problems. Audience members are encouraged to craft surprise endings without providing the beginnings, challenging the authors to develop creative explanations. Selected submissions are rewarded with cash prizes, fostering an interactive and engaging listener experience.

Jerry Lawrence: “Send your story problem as many as you wish... Each one accepted by us and used on this program will receive $25.” [20:42]

---

Closing Remarks

The episode wraps up with a final advertisement for Silvertown tires, emphasizing their safety and reliability, aligning seamlessly with the episode's themes. The authors bid farewell amidst jovial interactions, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next installment featuring new guest authors.

---

Conclusion

The $2001 Watch episode of Harold's Old Time Radio masterfully blends interactive storytelling with the creative genius of its esteemed authors. Through the "Author, Author" game, listeners gain insight into the imaginative processes behind constructing compelling narratives, all while enjoying the dynamic interplay among literary luminaries. This episode not only entertains but also invites active audience engagement, making it a standout installment in the series.

Transcript

[Jerry Lawrence]

The B.F. goodrich Rubber Company presents author, author, author. Ladies and gentlemen, your authors, Ms. Marion Collins.

[Marion Collins]

Good evening.

[Jerry Lawrence]

Carl Van Doren.

[Carl Van Doren]

How do you do?

[Jerry Lawrence]

Ellery Queen.

[Ellery Queen]

I'm Ellery.

[Ogden Nash]

I'm Queen.

[Jerry Lawrence]

And our genial master of literary ceremonies, that distinguished humorist and light versifier, Ogdenash.

[Narrator]

On behalf of our sponsor. Welcome audience seen and unseen to the first broadcast of Author, Author, briefly put Author Author is a game of story invention in which you'll be able to hear how America's most famous writers invent their story plots. Ellery Queen, whom you all know as collaborators on detective fiction, and I will be with the program from week to week. Two different guest authors will play the game with us each broadcast. And Tonight's guests are Ms. Marion Collins, radio and short story writer, and Carl Van Doren, distinguished critic and novelist whose recent biography of Benjamin Franklin is among America' best sellers.

[Jerry Lawrence]

And speaking of bestsellers, here is a mighty interesting story. It's the story of safe motoring. And millions who have discovered through experience know that safe motoring spells just one thing. Silvertowne cords. Now I just want to tell you one of the reasons why this is so. Silver Towns are the ultimate in tire perfection. They are the product of the best laboratory brains that the B.F. goodrich Rubber Company could set to work to make your motoring safe. Wherever you go, on whatever kind of roads you choo by, Silvertown courts you ride safely with the protection that the best brains could put into tires. And now, Mr. Ogden Nash.

[Narrator]

The game of Ortho ortha begins with a little drama. It's called the $2001 watch. The scene is Spiffins famous 5th Avenue jewelry shop. As the store opens, the day's first customer, a shabbily dressed man, enters and speaks to Mr. Stillman, sales clerk. Good morning.

[Ogden Nash]

I'd like to see a watch. Yes, of course.

[Sales Clerk]

Any particular kind of watch?

[Mr. Silver]

No, any watch.

[Carl Van Doren]

Very good, sir.

[Ogden Nash]

Now here, sir, is a very fine platinum case jewel watch. What's the price of it?

[Sales Clerk]

$2,000, sir.

[Ogden Nash]

I'll give you $1 for it. $1? That's what I said. Excuse me, sir, but are you serious?

[Ellery Queen]

I offer you $1 for that watch and I mean.

[Narrator]

Get out of here.

[Ellery Queen]

Get out.

[Ogden Nash]

Is this your idea of a joke?

[Mr. Silver]

What's all this commotion about?

[Ogden Nash]

Why this man, Mr. Spiffen, has the nerve to offer me one dollar for this two thousand dollar watch.

[Mr. Silver]

Very well, sell the gentleman the watch.

[Narrator]

Our little drama has rather an unexpected ending. And that's where our four authors come in. Their part of the Game now is to create extemporaneously a logical beginning to explain why a man should have the nerve to offer one dollar for a two thousand dollar watch and why the jeweler should have the geniality to accept it, to put it like a jacket blurb on a book. They've got to tell us what unusual tale of romance, sentiment or intrigue lies behind this paradox of spittings. Their stories are unrehearsed. Don't mind if they stumble a bit. That's the idea of. Author.

[Ogden Nash]

Author.

[Narrator]

Now, Ms. Collins, Mr. Van Doren, who'd like to take a shot at that?

[Marion Collins]

Oh, don't pick on me for the first one. I think one of the queens should go first.

[Carl Van Doren]

Queens first, by all means.

[Ogden Nash]

Oh, I. I think. I think Ellery should come first. Ellery comes before queen.

[Ellery Queen]

Oh, that may be true, but in the telephone book, queen comes first.

[Narrator]

Well, what happens before Ellery in the telephone book?

[Ogden Nash]

Well, I. I'll yield to that authority. I suppose I'm on the spot here. As I see it, Mr. Spiffin, I'll have to start my story with Mr. Spiffin. Mr. Spiffin, in his off moments at the times when he's not at his establishment, has a hobby. He doesn't play golf particularly, nor does he care terribly much for bridge or cultivating spring onions.

[Jerry Lawrence]

He collects coins.

[Ogden Nash]

He's one of those peculiar people, like stamp collectors, for example, who collect coins. Now, he has developed a tremendous collection over the period of many years. Matter of fact, it's probably one of the greatest collections of rare coins in the world. Very expensive collection. And one thing has always been the bane of Mr. Spiffin's existence. He hasn't been able to get hold of a certain very rare coin. It's a $1 coin of American, American extraction. It's worth $5,000. He's been willing to pay almost any price for it, but he hasn't been able to find one. Well, now, when Mr. Spif, he came out to see what the commotion was about, he noticed that the dollar, the dollar which the shabbily dressed man was offering to Mr. Stillman the clerk, was not a bill but a coin. And what was it but this very coin? Well, of course he was going to.

[Narrator]

Well, at least that proves it can be done. Now we have an interlude known as the are you sure? Period. Comments and criticisms, insults pro and con, are invited on Mr. Queen's explanation.

[Ellery Queen]

I wonder if Mr. Queen himself is a coin collector. I wonder if he has the first.

[Ogden Nash]

Dollar he ever made. As a matter of fact, I never made a maid of first dollar.

[Narrator]

Well, it's easy to begin on the second, I suppose, but are there any further. That was an insult, wasn't it? Is there any criticism?

[Ogden Nash]

I can only criticize the insult.

[Narrator]

Well, then perhaps, Ms. Collins, have you a reconstruction of this episode?

[Marion Collins]

Well, I have a fairly simple one. I can visualize that a great many years ago, Mr. Sniffen possibly was an apprentice in a jewelry store and had an opportunity to buy a store and no money, being a young man and poor and struggling one thing or another. And he had an old friend whom he approached for the capital, which consisted of $2,000. He started in business with that and made the very distinguished jewelry shop known today as Sniffens. And as he approached the clerk and this shabbily dressed man to see what the commotion was about, he recognized the old friend who had advanced him the money for the opening of his business, whom he had forgotten all over these years and had repudiated the loan and felt that he would be justified in accepting the dollar for the watch in as much as $2,000 would mean that the discrepancy between there would be the $2,000 he had borrowed.

[Carl Van Doren]

Would that.

[Ellery Queen]

Lieutenant?

[Narrator]

I suppose it would apply to Spiffins as well as to sniffins. Come on.

[Ellery Queen]

Mr. Nash.

[Narrator]

Yes, Mr. Ellery?

[Ellery Queen]

I'd like to quarrel with the ethics. Spiffing or sniffing as it could be.

[Marion Collins]

Let's compromise on.

[Ellery Queen]

He owes this man $2,000 for a long time. But that watch didn't cost him $2,000.

[Narrator]

He's been wondering about that.

[Ellery Queen]

At best, it cost him $1,000. He rather got out of it easily, didn't he?

[Jerry Lawrence]

Well, I think.

[Carl Van Doren]

I think the man was just having his conscience fun.

[Narrator]

Listen, I think the man is very.

[Ogden Nash]

Lucky to get the watch.

[Narrator]

Mr. Van Doren, would you like to take a try of this?

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, I shall have to bring in the deep tragic note. I figure that Mr. Spiffin lived in Marwa, New Jersey, and three days before, his only heir had been kidnapped. Since that time, he had been getting a daily letter. He always found it lying on the sidewalk when he left his house. The first day it had said watch the shabby customer. And the second day it mysteriously said $2,000. And the third day it had said nothing at all. He was very much embarrassed. Now he was actually hanging around in the store all the time because he watched every customer that came in. But when this customer came in and when he offered one dollar for the two thousand dollar watch, Mr. Spiffin Listening for a While became convinced that this was the shabby customer, this was the $2,000. And the way for him to communicate his willingness to pay whatever ransom or to deal with the kidnappers was to give in now and say that he would take $1 for a $2,000 watch.

[Narrator]

Very ingenious. And I should thank Foolproof for explanation.

[Ellery Queen]

Anyway, so foolproof it's not quite. I yield to you, Mr. Green.

[Ogden Nash]

Well, I was just about to say before you were going to put your annoying voice into the microphone, because, I mean, you and I never.

[Ellery Queen]

I didn't give a story. You shouldn't heck with me.

[Ogden Nash]

Well, I was just about to say that we ought to look to laurels. Mr. Van Doren, who's never to my knowledge, done a detective story, has just reconstructed one very beautifully. And in a minute and a half.

[Ellery Queen]

Ah, yes, but you forget that I.

[Carl Van Doren]

Have read all the queen's detective stories.

[Ellery Queen]

Thank you. Very nice. I had something to say, Mr. Nash. Mr. Van Doren spoke of the third note as saying nothing at all. How did he know it was a third note if it said nothing at all?

[Carl Van Doren]

I meant to say the third day he'd got no note at all.

[Ogden Nash]

Well, I think you got out of.

[Carl Van Doren]

That very neatly, sir.

[Narrator]

Mr. Ellery.

[Ellery Queen]

Well, I have. I wonder if there is a fourth solution anywhere. I visualize Mr. Spiffin as having a friend who was very fond of making ridiculous bets. The previous night, after a game of chess in Mr. Spiffin's home, his friend suggested a bet, something along these lines. He bet Mr. Spiffin $2,000 that the next morning he wouldn't okay the very first transaction that would take place in the spiffin jewelry stor. Mr. Spiffin, to humorous friend, agreed to accept the bet. And early the next morning, the friend hired the shabby man for a few dollars to go in and offer $1 for a $2,000 watch. Now, Mr. Spiffen found himself in a rather peculiar position. If he refused to sell the $2,000 watch for $1, he would have to pay the $2,000 bet to his friend and therefore be out $2,000. However, if he accepted the $1 for the $2,000 watch, he would not have to pay the $2,000 and would actually be $1 ahead on the transaction. And I haven't brought in sales tax because that might make it complicated.

[Narrator]

Well, I think he could have had it sent out of the state, couldn't he?

[Ellery Queen]

Avoid the sales tax?

[Marion Collins]

You picked me up on the wholesale business.

[Narrator]

Yes, I know about the price of the original price of that watch.

[Jerry Lawrence]

Mr. Nash?

[Ogden Nash]

Yes?

[Jerry Lawrence]

I have a little problem here I'd like to give our authors. Now, may I?

[Narrator]

Go ahead. Are there any objections?

[Ogden Nash]

Oh, no, driver. That's it.

[Mr. Silver]

All right.

[Jerry Lawrence]

The scene is a wet, slippery road on a rainy day. Mr. Silver is giving his neighbor, Mr. Towne, a lift in his car.

[Ellery Queen]

A nasty day, Silver.

[Mr. Silver]

Yeah, it's kind of tough to see through the windshield.

[Ellery Queen]

Yeah. Look at that big truck ahead. It hides the traffic light.

[Mr. Silver]

I can't tell where he's going to stop.

[Marion Collins]

And look out.

[Ellery Queen]

He's jammed down his brakes.

[Ogden Nash]

Swing over to your left.

[Carl Van Doren]

No, no, no.

[Ogden Nash]

Don't do that. Don't. Why?

[Ellery Queen]

Why, man, you're.

[Narrator]

You're crazy.

[Ellery Queen]

Don't you know any better than to jam on your brakes and come to a sudden stop like that? Why, the car might have skidded, and we. We might have been killed.

[Mr. Silver]

Not at all, Town. I did it because I knew I was perfectly safe.

[Jerry Lawrence]

There it is, authors. Why did Mr. Silver, jamming on his brakes and coming to a sudden stop on a wet, slippery road, know it was perfectly safe?

[Narrator]

Well, the answer's perfectly obvious. Mr. Silver had good, rich Silvertown tires on his car.

[Ogden Nash]

Right you are.

[Jerry Lawrence]

And that's the one thing about Silvertowns that every motorist knows is important. He wants tires that don't skid. And that means Silvertowns, they don't skid because Silvertown treads are built for safety. All right, Mr. Nash.

[Narrator]

And now to continue. Author. Author. With another story. Problem. The extraordinary bequest scene. A lawyer's office. Mr. Chalmers, the attorney, is reading a will to John Sutton.

[Carl Van Doren]

Item.

[Sales Clerk]

To my friend John Sutton. I, William Black, give and bequeath. My entire estate or the envelope herewith attached to my last will and testament.

[Jerry Lawrence]

What's that?

[Mr. Silver]

His entire estate or an envelope.

[Sales Clerk]

Yes, that's right. Here's the envelope.

[Mr. Silver]

What about it? It's empty. There's nothing in it. The estate's worth, well, easily $10,000.

[Sales Clerk]

Yes, black was a queer one. No telling what he had in mind, but perhaps it was only a joke. You'll take the estate, of course, seeing that you're not well off. That is, financially speaking.

[Mr. Silver]

Mr. Chalmers, I'm a poor man, and William Black knew it. $10,000 would mean everything in the world to me. Nevertheless, I'll take the empty envelope.

[Narrator]

An extraordinary bequest, indeed. Authors. Why did John Sutton, a poor man, refuse a $10,000 bequest in order to accept an empty envelope?

[Jerry Lawrence]

Who goes first here?

[Ellery Queen]

Well, I mean, I pass, I think.

[Narrator]

Shall we let Ms. Collins start first. Women and children first. I think at the very being, the first lifeboat out is the one that sinks.

[Marion Collins]

And here I sink. All right, I'm going to tell you the story as I imagine Mr. Sutton might have told it to the lawyer sitting there across from his desk. Well, I've known Mr. Black for many years. We've been associated in business. I worked for him, Mr. Black, for many years, upwards of 15 years. And he's a very mean man. I never liked him. And about 10 years ago, a niece of his came to live with him, keep house for him. Her mother and father had died. She had no money, and he came there and used her as a drudge. She took care of his house, his clothes, and he never gave her any money. Was really a very, very mean person. And I couldn't say very much I for the man. But every once in a while I'd put in a word of protest against his treatment of the girl. And he would ignore me, of course. And then the years have gone by. I knew when he was dying that the girl was his only heir. And I think this is a pretty grim jest. Black has made it possible for me to take this money and enjoy life for the rest of my life. Or give it to the girl who really should have it. And he made me make the choice between the two.

[Narrator]

Well, I think that's very interesting indeed. I'm so glad Mr. Black is dead. Is that. Are there any holes that we can poke in that?

[Ellery Queen]

It'd be a shame to poke a.

[Ogden Nash]

Hole in a story like that.

[Marion Collins]

Thank you.

[Carl Van Doren]

That's too tense.

[Narrator]

We'd always put Mr. Black in it, of course. Mr. Van Doren, have you a suggestion?

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, nothing with that tie rope. Romantic note. As I see it, these two men, Mr. Black and Mr. Sutton, had been rival autograph collectors. Mr. Black, who left with the estate, had been more successful. And he had been able to reduce the Legatee Sutton almost to poverty. So that when he died, he felt a little bit sorry and he decided he would leave him something. But he wouldn't leave him something unless he were expert enough to know the value of.

[Jerry Lawrence]

Of it.

[Carl Van Doren]

You didn't notice the business in the story, which was that when Sutton took the envelope and said the $10,000 would mean everything in the world to me, he turned it over and he noticed something written on the back of it. Now, he knew a man, a potato baron up in Aroostook County, Maine, who had been spending years making a complete collection of the autographs of all of his select men of all of the town in that place. He had, as a matter of fact, every single autograph of every single selectman of every town in Roostok, Maine, except the autograph of Ezekiel Hyrum Pratt. And this was on the back. There was only H.H. pratt, and he wouldn't have known that except that on the front it was addressed to Chester A. Arthur, President of the United States. Now, Mr. Sutton, being an expert, knew that at one of his more frugal moments, Hiram Hezekiah, Hiram Pratt had written a letter to Chester A. Arthur asking him to use his influence to get Fat's son a position in West Point.

[Narrator]

Take that. Throws a very interesting light on the.

[Ellery Queen]

Life of Chester A. Arthur. It's amazing that Mr. Van Doren didn't use an autograph of Benjamin Franklin. Yes, yes, well, I think it was.

[Narrator]

Very self effacing of him when they.

[Ogden Nash]

Well, I think there's a very good reason probably why he didn't. Did they have envelopes in Benjamin Franklin's day, Mr. Van Dorn?

[Carl Van Doren]

No, they didn't have. They simply folded the paper up and I wouldn't have mind at that.

[Narrator]

Well, Mr. Alory, have you.

[Ellery Queen]

Well, I visualize Mr. Sutton as being the nephew of Mr. Black, in fact his only relative. And being his only relative for a long time, Mr. Sutton has been expecting to be Mr. Black's heir. Mr. Sutton, however, is an er. Do. Well, a waster, a man who has a passion for gambling. And he's got himself into serious financial difficulties. Of course, he could wait for Mr. Black to die a normal death, but he decided that if he could speed things up, it would help his own particular position. So he invented a rather clever ruse to help to speed up that Legacy. You see, Mr. Black made his modest fortune in the stationery business. He manufactured envelopes and letter paper and so on. And one day, pretending to turn over new leaf, Mr. Sutton came to his uncle, Mr. Black, and said that he had just made a remarkable discovery. He had invented a glue that didn't taste like glue, in fact, could be flavored. And if put on the backs of envelopes, people could get mint flavored flaps, clove flavored flaps, and so on. So he sent as a sample to Mr. Black one in Mr. Black's own particular, his favorite flavor, pistachio.

[Ogden Nash]

Now, Mr. Black.

[Ellery Queen]

Mr. Black used to spend his weekends in a hunting shack in the woods, all alone, with no telephone. And one weekend as he was trying his nephew's envelope, he realized to his horror that the flap wasn't pistachio. Flavored, but was coated with nicotine. And of course, he was poisoned. And in leaving, in the few minutes before he died, he left instructions to Mr. Chalmers, the lawyer, to let Mr. Sutton take either the estate or the envelope, which represented the only evidence against the nephew that he was involved in Mr. Black's death.

[Narrator]

I think that's so ingenious that we can hardly ask any questions of Mr. Ellery at all.

[Ellery Queen]

I could heckle myself.

[Carl Van Doren]

Don't write me any letters.

[Narrator]

That takes care of our author's part in the game of author. Author.

[Ogden Nash]

There's also a very. Excuse me. Haven't I been left out? Oh, I beg your pardon. Oh, that's perfectly all right. I'm perfectly willing to be left out.

[Narrator]

No, no, no, no. I'd hardly call it a minor oversight.

[Ogden Nash]

No, no, no, no, it's quite minor.

[Narrator]

I'd like to hear your approach to this.

[Ogden Nash]

Well, as a matter of fact, it's hardly good enough to be dignified by an approach. I merely visualized John Sutton as a pacifist. Now, you might ask what pacifism has to do with the rejection of a $10,000 request, the acceptance of an empty envelope. Well, he recognized the fact that on this envelope was written in invisible ink, the formula. I forgot to tell you, incidentally, that John Sutton was a chemist. The formula of a new and powerful poison gas which would decimate. I won't use the word decimate, Mr. Van Duren. That's a bad word. Which would depopulate the world. And now he had a tough decision to make. If he took the envelope, he would, of course, take it merely for one purpose, to destroy it. Because he was a pacifist. He didn't want to see a new weapon like this given to the world. On the other hand, if he. If he left the envelope and took the $10,000 bequest, he would be leaving that thing to the world. And so, being the true idealist, he simply refused the $10,000 and took the envelope.

[Narrator]

That is true. I'll be honest.

[Carl Van Doren]

I'm glad you didn't use that. Decimate. That means only one out of ten I recogn.

[Narrator]

Well, we're doing better than that nowadays, I think. Well, that seems to take care of our author's part in the game of author. Author. There's also a very interesting and profitable part which our audience is invited to Play. And here's Mr. Lawrence to tell you about it.

[Jerry Lawrence]

Ladies and gentlemen, the two story problems we gave our authors tonight we made up. But we'd like you, our audience to make up the ones we use next week and every week thereafter for cash prizes. Send your story problem as many as you wish. Each problem should consist merely of the surprise ending of a story along the lines of what you heard tonight. Now, don't dramatize your story. We'll do that. All you have to do is write in a short paragraph, in as few words as you wish, the surprise ending of a story. You don't have to figure out the beginning. That's the job of our authors. Make the endings of your story problem as hard to explain as you can. Each one accepted by us and used on this program will receive $25. And here's what we'll do with the story. We'll give it to our authors and have them create the beginning right here in the studio. So come on now, listeners. Here's your chance to win $25 or more and put America's most famous authors to the test. There are no strings attached to this offer. Anyone can enter. Send us as many story problems as you wish. Send them to author. Author, care of the B.F. goodrich Rubber Company, Akron, Ohio.

[Ellery Queen]

Just a moment, Mr. Lawrence. Yeah, we're not finished yet. We'd like to have a friendly little chat with Mr. Nash.

[Narrator]

Yes, Horry, what is it?

[Ellery Queen]

Well, you've been having a fine time listening to us struggle with inventing story plots. And I mean struggle.

[Narrator]

I've never seen so many distinguished people quite so uncomfortable.

[Ellery Queen]

All right, Mr. Nash. Let's see how good you are at inventing stories. Oh, Ms. Collins, Mr. Van Doren, Queen and I will give you a story problem. And let's hear you say nothing was.

[Narrator]

Said about that when I came here.

[Ogden Nash]

And, Mr. Nash, the audience will do the heckling this time. They'll let you know what they think of your story. How about it, audience? No excuses now. Here we go. A. A centipede.

[Jerry Lawrence]

A spot.

[Ellery Queen]

An airplane.

[Carl Van Doren]

The London Zoo.

[Narrator]

Oh, dear. Say, centipede a spot.

[Carl Van Doren]

Well, There it is.

[Ogden Nash]

Mr. Nash, make a story out of that as quickly as you can.

[Narrator]

I do not like the centipede. A bug we do not really need. You always whack him where he's not. Or if he is, he leaves a spot.

[Ellery Queen]

Mr. Man.

[Ogden Nash]

Where'S the airplane?

[Carl Van Doren]

And how about my zoo?

[Narrator]

Was in the zoo, and we take the airplane to get out of this spot. I'm glad to be out of that. Good night.

[Ogden Nash]

Good night.

[Ellery Queen]

Good night.

[Jerry Lawrence]

Well, I. I never imagined there could be so many versions of the same plot. Very interesting, very original. But I know one story that has only one version. It's original, too, and thrilling every bit of the way. I mean, the story of modern motoring on Silvertowns. To give you the perfection of Silvertowns has required years of experimentation in the laboratory to build into these matchless tires the greatest resistance to heat and thereby forestall the possibility of a blowout. No pains have been spared. You might roll along very easily in cool security mile after mile on tires built to defy every kind of road punishment. For the sake of your comfort and safety, buy Silvertowns and enjoy an absolutely new chapter in motor enjoyment. Every mile of every way, every day of the year. Listen in this same time next week for more fun with the authors. Ellery Queen will be with us. Carl Van Doren probably be here. And Ogden Nash will be our genial master of literary ceremonies. Our guest authors will be Fanny Hurst and John Erskine. And don't forget to send your story problems to author. Author care of the B.F. goodrich Rubber Company, Akron, Ohio. Each one selected and used on this program will receive $25 and the name of the person submitting it will be mentioned. Naturally, no story problems can be returned and all submissions, whether used or not, become the property of the B.F. goodrich Rubber Company company. You'll know you're in for another fiction fun fest when you hear them call for Jerry Lawrence speaking. And for the B.F. goodrich Rubber Company saying, Good night and good motoring. This is the Mutual Broadcasting System.