← Harold's Old Time Radio
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Forget whatever plans you have this weekend because you're staying at home and playing on spinquest. And there's never been a better time to sign up than right now. New users get thirty dollar coin packs for just ten dollars. All the table games you love with hundreds of slot games and real cash Prizes. That's at spinquest.com S P I N Q U-S-T.com Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. A pack of Avalon cigarettes please. Yes, sir. Oh, just a moment sir. Don't forget your change. You'd never guess but Avalon's cost you less, so why not always travel on with. Good evening friends. Good evening. This is Del King saying welcome to Avalon Time with Red Foley, Jeanette, Edna Stillwell, the Avalon chorus, Bob Strong and his orchestra and Red Skelton. The orchestra opens the program with Step up and Shake My Hand. Now friends, when you find a product with just one distinct advantage that makes it superior to all others, you'll gladly give it a trial, won't you? Well, Avalon cigarettes have two all important advantages. Highest quality. Exceptional economy. Points of marked superiority that have made them the outstanding cigarette buyer today. Avalons are union made from an unsurpassed blend of the world's finest Turkish and domestic tobaccos. Millions of smokers say you couldn't get finer quality cigarettes, regardless of price, regardless of brand. That's why you'd never guess that Avalon's cost you less.3 to 5 cents less per pack than other popular price brands. Highest quality cigarettes at a worthwhile savings. Avalon certainly deserve a trial. Why not get a pack tonight? Well, we give you now the only man in radio who is 25 and already collecting Social Security on his jokes. Red Skeleton. Thank you, thank you very much and good evening ladies and gentlemen. Say Dell, you've heard the story of Daniel in the lion's den? Yes, I have. Well, last Thursday I went to New York and saw Nova in the bears den. Oh, what a fight. The first round bear looked like he was born with gloves on. The 11th round it looked like he was going to die the same way. I wanted Edna Stillwell, my secretary, to go to the fight with me, but she was so modest she refused just because the newspaper headline said tonight Noble will fight bear. I love fights. When I was a kid I was a problem child of the neighborhood. Every time I'd show my face, all the other kids would start running and they never caught me. I'll never forget the first time I fought in the Ring. I walked to the center of the ring and I took off my robe to show my chest and I got a mash note from a washboard. I only lost one fight my entire career. Though I misunderstood the referee's instructions. I knocked my opponent down. The referee yelled, run to a neutral corner. The only one I could think of was Randolph and State. My next big fight was in the Madison Square Garden. In the second round. I says. The guy says, you're yellow. He was yellow. I was black and blue. I drew back to him, and I see a terrific light coming. I was pulling up my trunks, both hands being busy. I blocked it with my eyes. The. The. The next round, I drew back to hit like I. And I heard a bong. I was nervous at first. It was the bell, but I thought it was the horseshoe. Fell out of my glove. I carried a horseshoe in my glove that night. Didn't do much good, though. I think the other guy had the whole horse in his okay. That guy knocked me so cold, they had to carry me out with a pair of ice tongs. But I was a big favor. Fight. Ring. Every time I'd step to the ring, the people would start yelling, screaming and stomping their feet. But not once did they ever get their money back. Hell, I think I've been out here punching long enough so I'll step out of the ring and let Red Foley come in with. Building a Sailboat of Dream. Hit it fell. When twilight has gone and the world slumbers on I'm building a sailboat of dreams each star up above Knows my secret of love I'm building a sailboat of dreams Someday Someday I will sail away and find you somewhere, my darling but till dreams all come true Till the day I find you I'll keep building a sailboat of dreams. But till dreams I'll come true Till the day I find you I'll keep building a sailboat of dream. When it comes to making special arrangements, Bob says, give me my honey's love and arm. Without shoes on. Hi, there. Wait a minute. You better do something about that cough. Yes, I think I'll go down to Hot Springs, Virginia this week. Virginia has cured a lot of hams, you know. Hey, who said that anyhow? Did you say that, Del? No, I didn't say it right. What is this? Who said that about the hams? Did someone call me? Yeah. Hiya, Bob. Strong. Dad. I heard you weren't feeling so well this week. Well, I wasn't, but I feel all right now. My blood pressure's Normal. My heart action is normal and my pulse is normal. Don't you wish you were? Say, who is that anyhow? Oh, that? That's my new fiddle player, Roger Donaldson. Yeah, I'm making some improvements in the band and he's one of them. Yeah, some improvement. But confidentially, Bob, the boys do play a lot better now since they learn how to read music. Yes, and with the six men I've added, the band will be a lot better now. Six men, eh? Well, who are they? Well, there's Joe Strongman, Felix Strongman, Carl Strong there, and Pete High Strongman. Oh, they're all in there. On their merits, of course. Oh, sure, sure. Say, but this. That only makes five with this Roger guy. Who's the sixth man? Oh, that's Jack Warren, the drummer. Warren? How'd he get in here with a name like that? Well, he married my sister. Oh. Well, I knew there was a connection somewhere. But, say, this Roger guy, tell him to keep still, will you? Well, have to be kind of careful with him, Red. Yeah, Careful with a fiddle player. Why? Well, he knows his onions. Yeah. Shouldn't he know something about a violin, too? I mean. Hey, let me show him, Bob. Go ahead. Roger boy. Roger boy. I've heard better on we the People. What do you think of that? What do I think of it? I'll just take the first three letters of loud and add the last three letters of Jersey. Forget everything you had planned for this weekend because you are sitting on your couch and winning from the comfort of your own home. I'm here with Spin Quest, where you can play hundreds of slot games, all the table games you love, and you could even win real cash prizes. New users. 30 coin packs are on sale for 10@spinquest.com Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. If you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip off. And Grainger is your trusted partner, offering the products you need all in one place, from H Vac and plumbing supplies to lighting and more. And all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock, so your team always gets the win. Call 1-800-GRAINGER visit granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done. Hello, Ben. Hi, Adele. Hello, Edna. Hello, Bobby. Hello, Punkin. Punkin. Hey, what's going on around here? I thought I was your steady fella, isn't it? Steady? Yeah. If you were any steadier, you'd Be motionless. I want a real boyfriend. I need a Gable type. Gable? Yes. My lips are burning, my eyes are scorching, my tongue is waxing warm with words, and my face is aflame. Help. She's on fire. Well, Edna, I'm your man. Yes, Bob, but will you love me when I'm old? Love you? I'll idolize you. I'll worship the ground under your little feet. I'll. I'll see. You're not gonna look like your mother, are you? Oh, boy. Now, what? If a loaf of bread was as old as these jokes, what a marvelous chunky dressing it'd make. Who's that? Red? I Don't pay any attention to that droop. Droop? Oh, yeah. Hey, Skip, let me hear you pronounce your vowels. My vowels? A, E, I, O, U. How's that? Your AE is all right, but your IOU is no good. Who's on around here anyhow? Hi, all. Hiya. How you all? Foley's getting high class saying you all used to say Ewan. Ah, gone with the dawn. But, honey lamb, you sugar pie, I is mad about y'. All. What's the matter with you, Foley? A guy'd have to be crazy to know what you're talking about. Thanks, Red. I'm glad we understand each other. But don't think I'm crazy, because if I was, Mr. Selsny wouldn't have sent for me to play a part in that picture Going with the Wind. Ah, now, go on. Don't start bragging about you're going to be in Gone with the Wind. Why not? Isn't that something to blow about? Yeah, but you know, I'm going to play Scarlet. Old Foley. You mean Scarlett o'. Hara. Say, that's a woman's part. Can you play a woman? Can I? Boy, show me the woman. Well, I got to go now. So long, Edna. Honey. Honey? Hey, where does he get that honey stuff? He knows you're my girl. Your girl? Yes, my girl. Why, don't even talk to me, you dope. Dope? I'm a dope? I'm a dope? Stop bragging, Skulky. Listen, don't interrupt me when I'm speaking. Don't speak while I'm interrupting. Say, Bob, Edna's my girl and that's settled. You can't talk to me like that. Take off your glasses. Okay. What glasses? Those are circles under my eyes. Well, take them off. Now, wait a minute, boys. No fighting over me. I'll give each of you a test. Now, Bob, you leave the room And I'll test Zed. Okay. Hey, what kind of a test? Well, you make love to me, then Bob will make love to me, and the best man will win. Oh, gee, that's a cinch for me. Well, go ahead. All right. Oh, Edna. Oh, Jeannie. Edna, dearest, look through yon window. Look at the moon. Look at the stars. What a combination. Is that thing showing again? Oh, cut it out. It hit the back wall and bounced back. Now what do I do? Well, put your arm around me. Yeah. Now hold me closer. Oh, closer. I can still breathe. Yeah. Now put the other arm around me. Yeah. You've been eating potatoes, haven't you? Now what do I do? Oh, send for Bob Strong. Yeah. The title I never knew Heaven could Speak. The picture rolls of Washington Square and the ever knew Heaven could speak the picture rolls of Washington Square and the songstress, our own lovely Jeanette. I never knew heaven could be but, but now I do I learned it through a conversation with you I never knew heaven could dance but now I do with every step Another little dream comes true I always thought heaven was somewhere Way up high in the sky up above I never thought heaven was Someone like you for me to love I never knew heaven could hold such tender joy I never knew heaven could be here in my ar I always thought heaven was someplace way up high in the sky up above I never thought heaven was someone like you for me to love I never knew heaven could hold such tender characters I never knew heaven could be here in your home. Friends, here are facts, convincing facts that you can't overlook. Millions upon millions of people have switched to Avalon cigarettes in preference to all other brands. And the reason? Well, Avalons have more to offer. Yes, they give you highest quality. They're made from a superb blend of the choicest Turkish and domestic tobaccos and still cost 3 to 5 cents less per pack than other popular price brands. Now, that repeated saving time after time on every pack you smell smoke means many, many extra dollars saved every year. Now, remember this, friends. You can pay more, but you can't get finer quality cigarettes than Avalon's. Try a pack tonight. You'd never guess they cost you less. Say, that was very nicely said there, Dale. Well, thank you, Red. Are we going to do a sketch tonight? Yep. I've written a play this week called the Case of the Stolen Plans or who's Got Hands in the Plan? You. Now, I'll play the modest role of Ace Skelton, a crack reporter. And the sob sister will be played by Edna Stillwell as A scene opens. I'm sitting in my office planning big things. Hello? Yeah. For you, Skeleton. Thanks a lot. Deal me out this hand, boys. Hello? Hello? Skelton talking. Skelton? Yes, this is Greed of the FBI speaking. Yeah, put out the waterfront and see whether you can dig up any data on the international spy ring. International spy ring. Thanks a lot, chief. I'll go right down. My car's downstairs. So come on, Edna. We'll bust up this spy ring or my name is mud. Okay, Mud. Can't this car go any faster? Well, we get it started, may go a little bit faster. Make it go faster. But I'm too tired to get out and push. Say, where do you expect to find this spy ring? Oh, I don't know. Somewhere along the waterfront. Snap on that radio. Calling all cars. Falling all cars. Shame. Shame on Patrolman Patrick o'. Brien. He only sold two sets of tickets to the Patrolman's Ball. What is this? Calling all spies. Access. Calling all spies. Here it comes now. General meeting tonight in the old warehouse at the corner of Hickory and Dickory. That's right near the dock. You're not. Password is Tomatoes are cheaper. These messages come to you through the courtesy of Sly's Electric Chairs. 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There's a cab over there. I'll go over. Hey, Paxy, are you engaged? Engaged? Why? Say, I don't even have a girl. Thank you, Lee. He's a cab driver. Yes, I'm one of those big old rough Gruff Kelly. And you know, Mr. Skelton, it's an awful lot of fun driving a taxi. It is? Yes. You run into a lot of knock people. You mean you hit pedestrians? Oh, good heavens, no. Why, this cute little old cab wouldn't hit anybody. It's yellow. Well, where do you want to go, Mr. Skelton? Well, take me down to the corner of Hickory and Dickory. Yes, sir. Hickory. Oh, say, that's the toughest part of town. Yeah. Why, they'll kill you down there. What? They'll kill you. They wouldn't dance. Well, why are you going down there? I'm looking for pies. They're spies. They forgot the egg. Well, do you have to go down there to look for them? Goodness. Why, that place down there is so tough. When a kitten wants a bowl of milk, he hijacks a cow. Come on, get going, Herky. Skelton never flinches. All right, I hope. Hey, you better drive slower, Herky. I'm very nervous. Now, watch out how you don't hit something. Oh, for goodness sake, keep your shirt off. Why, I know every ash can and telephone pole along here. Oh. Oh, I guess I wasn't introduced to that one. Boy, what a driver. You over. Well, at last. Here we are. That'll be 50. I'll give it to you just as soon as I get up off of the floor. Here's 25 cents on account. On account of what? On account I haven't got the other 25 cents. Why, my goodness, Mr. Skelton, no tip or anything. I say, you're tighter than a 98 cent corset without the same. Well, so long, Mr. Skelton. I'm getting out of here before the rats drive my taxi down the sewer. I'll see you now, Millie. Hey, wait for us, Herky. Somebody's gotta get us. Gee, this is a creepy looking place, isn't it? What was that password again, Edna? Tomatoes are cheaper. And don't look so scared. Who's scared? Show you I'm not scared. I'll knock on the door and see if anybody's here. Nobody's here. Let's go. What's the matter? Are you getting chicken hearted? Who, me? Skelton, the ace of reporter. Getting chicken hearted, I should say. No, I always been that way. Someone's coming to the door. Yeah? Well, what do you want? Tomatoes are cheaper. Ah, can that stuff. Hey, you wouldn't be a detective for a newspaper man. Not live, I mean. Maybe we spies had better get down to business. Huh? Very well. Come on in. Say, I think all the spies are here now. Call the roll. Sammy the Spider. Yeah. Homer the Hornet. Yeah. Willie the Wasp. Willie the Wasp. Willie the Wasp? Yeah. Well, What? Well, why didn't you answer? I didn't hear you. The force two times. Who are you? Straight. I'm Mickey the Rat. And I'm Minnie the Mouse. Okay, now for some sinister business. Sammy the Spider, have you got that secret code message figured out? All finished, chief, and it's just what we thought. Okay, read it. Cubs 10, Brooklyn 5. Now, men, we have a very important job coming up. What is it? The Lukrainian government will pay $10,000 to find out what happened to Buy Mere Bis Duchenne. Say, I better phone the newspaper right away and get my story out. Hey, you mean you're not a spy either? No. What do you mean, spy either? Well, I'm from Scotland Yard. Yeah, I'm a G man. I'm a secret serviceman. Well, I'm a monkey's uncle. Night falls, the moon rises as Red Foley and the Avalon chorus Create the musical image in the chapel in the moonlight. There's a little old church that's covered with mud Where I held your hand tenderly I often go there to gaze at the crows and dream that you come back to me How I'd love to hear the organ in the chapter in the moonlight While we're strolling down the aisle where roses entwine How I'd love to hear you whisper in the chapel in the moonlight that the love light in your eyes forever will shine. Till the roses turn to ashes Till the organ turns to ro. If you never call, come I'll still be there Till the moonlight turn. How I'd love to hear the choir in the chapel in the moonlight as they sing all promise me Forever be mine Forever be. Sam. Ah, that is very nice, Bob Strong. Now remember, friends, when you can get supreme quality and Avalon's for less well, why pay more? So the next time ask for Avalon. And don't forget your change. Yes. Avalon cigarettes, Dear friends, Cos another you two can say this difference like all of us Avalon brothers each pack is wrapped in cellophane each pack is union made no wonder folks from coast to coast say Avalons lead the parade so why not always travel on with Avalon? Yes, you'd never guess But Avalon's cost only $0.10 plus City or state tax. Well, Dell, it looks like winds up everything now, huh? That's about all, Red. Mr. Skelton. Yes, Mr. Skelton, your car awaits you. What'd you say? I said your road was waiting for you. Yes. So's his coffee. Yeah. Oh, what's the use? Good night, folks. Same time. When the Brown and Williamson Tobacco Corporation will again present Avalon time. Del King speaking. Good night, everybody. The selection, snug as a bug in a rug, is from Gracie Allen's murder case. Red Skeleton comes to you from Chicago. This is the National Broadcasting Company, Weaf New York, 9:00pm B U L O V A Boulevard. Watch time. What's up, baby? It's Bretzky. And I'm here to tell you that spin quest.com is giving out free sweeps coins. All you got to do is purchase a $10 coin pack. And guess what? They're going to give you the coins from a $30 coin pack that lets you play all your favorite games like Blackjack, Wanted, Dead or Wild. And we're talking real cash prizes, baby. Spin Quest.com Spin Quest is a free to play social casino. Void where prohibited. Visit spin quest.com for more details. Access to affordable credit helps me pay my employees. But I don't really need it. Inflation is killing me, but who cares? Big retailers are making record profits. 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