Avalon Time - First Broadcast

Summary

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Harold's Old Time Radio

Avalon Time – First Broadcast

Date: March 17, 2026
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Main Cast (Episode): Del King, Red Foley, Red Skelton, Jeanette, Peter Grant

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Avalon Time," rebroadcast by Harold's Old Time Radio, revisits an iconic variety radio show from the Golden Age. Listeners are transported to a time before television, when families gathered around the radio for a lively hour of music, comedy, and sponsor jingles. This inaugural "Avalon Time" broadcast features the debut of the legendary comedian Red Skelton and star singer Red Foley, delivering lighthearted banter, musical performances, and clever skits. The episode also spotlights the era’s unique style of live advertising, seamlessly woven into the entertainment.

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Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Red Skelton’s Debut and Comedy Segments

• Red Skelton's Introduction: The episode highlights Red Skelton as a new member of the cast.
  • Del King: “First tonight we want you to meet a new member of the cast, one Red Skeleton, who certainly needs no introduction.” [00:25]
  • Red Skelton: “Listen, Del, I need plenty of introduction.” [00:38]
• Opening Jokes and Skelton’s Playful Banter
  • Skelton cracks quick, self-deprecating jokes about radio feuds and his dog (“I got a wire haired terrier that won’t bark. I took him back and had him rewired for sound.” [00:58]).
  • Del King and Skelton riff on a joke about giving away too many dogs:
    • Del King: “Well, you can go right over to my house and you can have all of them back.” [02:04]

2. Musical Performances

• Red Foley’s Songs
  • Foley delivers a smooth rendition of “Singing in the Saddle,” accompanied by a light-hearted introduction trading barbs with Skelton:
    • Red Skelton: “Well, singing in the saddle’s all right if your horse is named Avalon. Well, we got that plug in.” [05:37]
• Jeanette’s Classic Jazz
  • Jeanette performs “Honeysuckle Rose” [09:19-11:34], praised for her vocal warmth:
    • Red Skelton: "That really was lovely, Jeanette." [11:36]
• The Avalon Orchestra
  • The episode offers a swingin’ interpretation of “Beale Street Blues” by Phil Davis and the Avalon Orchestra [21:20-23:26].
• Group and Choral Numbers
  • Red Foley and chorus perform “Throw Another Log on the Fire” [23:41-26:18]
  • The neighbor boys sing the spiritual “Down by the Riverside (I Ain’t Gonna Study War No More)” [17:10-19:10]

3. Sponsor Integration and Reader Letters

• Avalon Cigarettes
  • Praise for Avalon’s affordability is seamlessly woven into both narrative and comedy.
    • Announcer: "Millions are switching to Avalons because they are a superior quality cigarette. 100% union made... Avalon's cost 3 to 5 cents less than popular priced brands." [08:23]
  • Listener letter testimonial:
    • Read by Red Foley (as John T. Youngblood): “When I bought a pack of Avalons, I smoked one and I could hardly believe it. … I knew absolutely I had found a fine, mild smoke. I’m smoking Avalons from now on.” [08:05]
  • Ongoing references to getting your “change” with Avalons and promotional jingles:
    • Secretary: “And don’t forget your change.” [20:56]
    • Announcer/Singers: “So why not always travel on with Avalon?” [27:15]
• Comedy Integrating Advertisement: Skelton jokes about mentioning Avalons to avoid offending anyone:
  • Red Skelton: “Well, I don’t guess anybody gets sore if I mentioned Avalon Cigare. Oh, gee, there goes the sponsors.” [16:34]

4. Skits and Lighthearted Routines

• Hotel and “Professor” Gags
  • Skelton recounts his stay at a quirky hotel and banters with a character posing as a confused quizmaster (“professor”), poking fun at radio quiz formats and wordplay:
    • Red Skelton: “What is an armature? … That’s a guy that sings on Major Bowes’ program.” [12:59]
• Secretary Skit
  • A rapid-fire job interview ends with the punchline:
    • Secretary: “Well, that’s fine. I’m hired.” [14:17]
  • Skelton dictates absurdist letters and jokes about his family's “cleaning” business.

5. Memorable Quotes and Running Jokes

• Meta-Humor About Radio Feuds and The Cast
  • Red Skelton: "If Fred Allen thinks that he can stir up a lot of free publicity by slanderously attacking me in one of those radio feuds, gee, I wish he'd do it." [00:58]
• Sponsor Parody and Playful Advertising
  • Red Foley: “Say, Red Skelton, I sure enjoyed your singing tonight.”
  • Red Skelton: “Well, thanks a lot, Red Foley… why don’t you read the folks that telegram you saved from Fred Allen, huh?” [27:54, 28:05]
• Playful Outtro:
  • Del King (meta): "My first program, and I never met so many touchy people in my life. I’ll tell a story. Once upon a time, there were two goldfish..." [16:38]

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Red Skelton: “Say, what is this, a microphone or a microphone?” [00:58]
• Red Skelton: “I got a wire haired terrier that won’t bark. I took him back and had him rewired for sound.” [01:29]
• Jeanette: “Well, that typewriter's making an awful lot of noise.”
  Red Skelton: “Well, something's got to click on this program.” [15:15]
• Red Skelton: “What is a pop fly? That’s a male insect with a blessed event. Thank you so much. Do you enjoy home cooking? Yes, I do. You should go home sometime.” [15:25]
• Red Foley (as John T. Youngblood): “I knew absolutely I had found a fine, mild smoke. I’m smoking Avalons from now on.” [08:05]
• Red Skelton (reading Fred Allen’s telegram): “Why should I pan you in a feud? Why, in one week I could knock you flatter than my voice. So I'll panic you on the back. Best of luck, Brick Top. Signed, Fred Allen.” [28:05]

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Segment Timestamps

• [00:25] – Show intro, Del King welcomes Red Skelton
• [01:00–03:00] – Skelton’s first comedy routine: his dog and banter with Del King
• [05:00] – Foley and Skelton interact, setup for “Singing in the Saddle”
• [09:19] – Jeanette sings “Honeysuckle Rose”
• [11:36] – Skelton’s hotel routine and professor quiz segment
• [14:00] – Skelton's secretary skit: comical job interview and letter dictation
• [17:10] – The neighbor boys chorus: “Down by the Riverside”
• [21:20] – Avalon Orchestra plays “Beale Street Blues”
• [23:40] – Red Foley and chorus: “Throw Another Log on the Fire”
• [26:50] – Sponsor segment wraps up with Avalon jingle
• [27:54] – Red Foley and Red Skelton: Fred Allen telegram bit
• [28:38] – Outro and sign-off

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Tone and Language

The entire episode is delivered in the playful, earnest, and slightly vaudevillian style that defined early radio comedy and variety shows. Banter is light, jokes are rapid-fire and family friendly, and musical interludes are sincere yet upbeat. Sponsor plugs are delivered with good humor and often winkingly blended into the skits and routines.

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Conclusion

“Avalon Time – First Broadcast” offers a nostalgia-tinged journey through classic radio entertainment: a blend of comedy, heartfelt singing, and clever ad integration. Red Skelton’s debut is a highlight, with his nimble wit evidencing why he would become a comedy legend. The musical numbers harken back to the era’s popular tunes, while the sponsor content provides a charming historical glimpse into how advertising flowed naturally with variety programming.

Listeners are left with a sense of lightness, fun, and community—echoing the spirit of radio’s golden days.

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Transcript

[Announcer]

A package of Avalon cigarettes, please.

[Store Clerk]

Yes, sir.

[Secretary]

Oh, just a moment, sir. And don't forget your change. You never guess, but Avalon's cost you

[Singer]

less,

so why not always? Revlons with Avalon.

[Del King]

Good evening, friends. Good evening. This is Del King saying welcome to Avalon Time with greetings from Red Foley and his entire, entire company. First tonight we want you to meet a new member of the cast, one Red Skeleton, who certainly needs no introduction.

[Red Skelton]

Listen, Dell, I need plenty of introduction.

[Del King]

Okay, Red, if that's the way you feel about it. Ladies and gentlemen, Red Skelton.

[Red Skelton]

Thank you very much and howdy, folks. Hello there, microphone.

[Announcer]

Hello there, Skelton. Welcome to Avalon Time. And move in a little closer.

[Red Skelton]

Say, what is this, a microphone or a microphone? Ladies and gentlemen, before I do anything tonight, I'd like to go on record by saying that if Fred Allen thinks that he can stir up a lot of free publicity by slanderously attacking me in one of those radio feuds, gee, I wish he'd do it. Look, I feel great tonight, okay? I just got back from a pet shop. I was over there. I took my dog back. The other day I got a wire haired terrier that won't bark. I took him back and had him rewired for sound.

[Singer]

He's really.

[Red Skelton]

No, he's really a smart dog, though. He's a talent scout for a flea circus. I thought that would get me more than that, but I skip right on to the next one. They're all here, see? But he's really a smart dog and really a lovely thing and intelligent and what a watchdog. Last night a burglar thief broke into my house. He went downstairs and start ramsacking everything. And I go downstairs and what do you think? There is my dog holding the flashlight for the robber.

[Del King]

Hey, listen, speaking of dog skeleton, did you give my little boy a dog?

[Red Skelton]

Well, come to think of it, I did give your little boy a dog.

[Del King]

Well, you can go right over to my house and you can have all of them back.

[Singer]

Back. Oh,

[Red Skelton]

Sammy, Diggle them to get them. Where do you live, Dell?

[Del King]

Next door at the post office.

[Red Skelton]

Jeepers creepers. Bill, play a number. I got to go down to the post office and see about a litter.

[Del King]

Here he is, folks, the singing star of Avalon Time, Red Foley.

[Red Foley]

Well, thank you, Del, and howdy everybody. And hello to you, Red.

[Red Skelton]

Same to you, Red. Say, how about that Red Foley, Red Skelton. We're both on the Red Network. You think the Dyess Committee will investigate? All kidding aside, Red, pardon me for interrupting there, but how about Singing a nice western song from my grandmother. Huh?

[Red Foley]

Oh, Red, why don't you sing one?

[Red Skelton]

Oh, I only sing in bathtubs. And I haven't sung for years.

[Red Foley]

How about me singing in the saddle, huh?

[Red Skelton]

Well, singing in the saddle's all right if your horse is named Avalon. Well, we got that plug in.

[Singer]

Y. I'm a singing in the saddle Guide me from above I'm heading for heaven and love. I've been rounding up the long lost doggies out on the lone prairie

I'm

heading for my ranch house Heaven where she waits for me I'm singing in the shadow Singing all the way for the roundup is over today

I'm a

singer singing in the saddle to the stars above I'm heading for heaven and

love

through the rhythm of the hooves I'm a humming get along, get along, old pal There's a fairy gal who knows I'm a comin Waiting beside the old cor I'm a singing in the shadow Guide me from above I'm a heaven for heaven and love.

[Red Foley]

Well, thank you, friends.

[Singer]

Thank you.

[Red Foley]

And now, Peter Grant, will you move in, please?

[Announcer]

Yes, Sir Reginald. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I'm going to let someone else tell you about Avalon cigarettes. John T. Youngblood of Niagara Falls, New York, smoked a popular price brand of cigarette for years. After hearing about Avalons on one of our programs. He tried them, but here's the story, just as Mr. Youngblood wrote it to us.

[Red Foley]

When I bought a pack of Avalons, I smoked one and I could hardly believe it. Then I smoked that pack and bought another. I thought perhaps the first pack was deceiving me. But the second pack did the trick. I knew absolutely I had found a fine, mild smoke. I'm smoking Avalons from now on.

[Announcer]

Thank you, Mr. Youngblood and friends. Millions of people, yes, millions are switching to Avalons because they are a superior quality cigarette. 100% union made. And don't forget, Avalon's cost 3 to 5 cents less than popular priced brands. But you'd never guess they cost you less. You couldn't want finer quality cigarettes, regardless of price, regardless of brand. In fact, Avalons give you super fine tobaccos and a truly superior blend at a real saving. So the next time, why not ask for Avalons and save the difference? Vance Waller wrote it.

[Del King]

Bob Strong arranged it. Jeanette sings it. Honeysuckle Rose.

[Singer]

Sam,

[Store Clerk]

Every honeybee fills with jealousy when they see you out with me say I don't blame goodness no honey suck rose and when you're passing by flowers and sigh and I know the reason why you much sweeter goodness know honeysuck rose. Oh well I don't. My sugar, you just have to touch my cup. Cause you're my sugar. It's sweet when you stir it up. And when I'm taking sips from your tasty lips. Seems the honey fairly drip your compaction. Goodness knows my honey suckor.

[Del King]

Mighty nice, Jeanette. Mighty nice.

[Red Skelton]

That really was lovely, Jeanette. And next week, folks, Jeanette's going to sing the theme song of the new. Of the new Frankenstein and Dracula picture entitled Two Creepy People. I like to punch the guy in the nose that told me that was funny. Speaking of. Speaking of creepy people and places, you should see the hotel that I checked into this afternoon. It's really a nice hotel. It's run by a Jewish fellow and an Irishman. They call it the St. Levy. Okay, can you picture this though? A Jewish Irish hotel with in fact there's a Mexican in every room. La Cucaracha. It's a nice place though. They change sheets every day from one bed to the other. You should see the landlord though. I never saw anybody so ugly in my life. Last night he looked in the mirror and then said, bear traps all over the house.

[Singer]

Look at.

[Red Skelton]

He looked like a glass of stale beer. All body and no head. And of all the crazy people, there's a fellow across the hall from me. No kidding. He raises chickens in his room. I don't mind that, but every time I open up my door, they come in and fight with my pigeons.

[Singer]

It's really.

[Red Skelton]

You'll have to stop, lady.

[Red Foley]

This is only a half hour program.

[Red Skelton]

Well, I appreciate it. It's really a nice hotel. It's run by a Jewish fellow and an Irishman. They call it the Saintly. I said that, didn't I?

[Red Foley]

That's why I heard it.

[Red Skelton]

Ladies and gentlemen. You'll pardon me, but somebody just walked in with a cap and gown on. Looks like a fugitive from Yale. What's on your mind, Professor? There's always something on those guys minds. I. I run a question and answer program in the next studio. Oh, you do? I. I just asked the contestant a question. You asked a question? Well, that's. I. I can't even answer it myself. Well, maybe if you'd asked the question instead of asking the question. No, but maybe I could help. Professor, what is the question? What? What is an armature? An armature? Yes, that's a guy that sings on Major Bull's program. Thank you so much. Do you drink? Yes, I do. Very Bad habit. That guy's a candidate for a straight jack it.

[Singer]

Pardon me.

[Secretary]

Are you Mr. Skelton?

[Red Skelton]

Well, I think I am.

[Secretary]

Well, that's fine. I hear you're looking for a secretary.

[Red Skelton]

Well, I could have.

[Secretary]

You had much business experience?

[Red Skelton]

Well, a little.

[Secretary]

Are you good at answering letters?

[Red Skelton]

Well, I might be.

[Secretary]

Can you take dictation and type?

[Red Skelton]

Yes, I can.

[Secretary]

You won't mind working overtime, will you?

[Red Skelton]

Well, if it's not too late.

[Secretary]

And could you get a couple of business referents?

[Red Skelton]

Well, I guess I could if I represented this.

[Secretary]

Well, that's fine. I'm hired.

[Red Skelton]

What is this, an entrance to an alley or something about everybody bothering me? Well, Bings, you're my secretary. Take a litter. A love letter to Greta Garbo. My dear honey baby.

[Secretary]

Are you kidding? Why, nobody ever got the first bass with Garbo.

[Red Skelton]

What do you mean? Nobody ever got the first base with Garbo? I suppose. Leopold Strakowski. Really take a letter in shorthand? This is gonna be a very short letter. My dear brother Christopher.

[Secretary]

How do you stop Christopher?

[Red Skelton]

Very poorly. My dear brother Christopher, I am sending you COD My old overcoat. To make the package lighter, I have removed all the buttons. P.S. you'll find the buttons on the inside pocket. Say, that typewriter's making an awful lot of noise.

[Secretary]

Well, something's got to click on this program.

[Singer]

Yes.

[Secretary]

Where shall I address this letter?

[Red Skelton]

Well, address it to Christopher's Cleaning Shop, Christopher Street. Christopher.

[Secretary]

Oh, your brother there's a cleaner.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, and what a cleaner. Last week I removed two spots from my suit. A ten spot and a five spot. Pardon me, ladies and gentlemen. The fugitive's back again. What is it this time, professor? Really, I. I hate to bother you again, but. Well, that's all right. I am stumped again, huh? Well, what's the question this time, Professor? It's a question about. About baseball. Baseball? Say, an old bat like you should be able to answer that one. No, I'm kidding, Professor. Maybe I can help you out. I'm an old baseball fan. The question. What? What is a pop fly? A pop fly? That's a male insect with a blessed event. Thank you so much. Do you enjoy home cooking? Yes, I do. You should go home sometime. Say, that guy's got me bothered. So dumb. It reminds me of the secretary who once thought that short.

[Secretary]

If you're gonna start telling jokes about secretaries, I'm leaving.

[Red Skelton]

Well, how do you like that, Del? If stranger comes in, I give her a job.

[Singer]

She can.

[Red Skelton]

That's as bad as the announcer.

[Singer]

Wait a minute.

[Del King]

If you're gonna tell jokes about announcers, I'm leaving, too.

[Red Skelton]

Well, my first program, and I never met so many touchy people in my life. I'll tell a story. Once upon a time, there were two goldfish. Well, I don't guess anybody gets sore if I mentioned Avalon Cigare. Oh, gee, there goes the sponsors.

[Del King]

For peace on Earth, here's a resolution every nation in the world could well afford to adopt. The neighbor boys sing. I ain't going to study war no

[Singer]

more One to lay down my burden down by the riverside down by the riverside down by the riverside One to lay down my burden down by the riverside to study one no more I ain't gonna study one no more ain't gonna study one no more Ain't gonna study one oh, no more Ain't gonna study one no more Ain'T my study one no more Ain't my study one O' mo lay down my soul and she down by the riverside down by the riverside down by the riverside Wine to lay down my sword and shield down by the riverside to study one no more I ain't one study one no more Ain't one study won't no more Ain't one study one no more Ain't one study won't no more Ain't one study war no more Ain't one study war no

Study war no

the

[Del King]

sentiment of that beautiful spiritual is well taken. We're always glad to hear from you. And we're always glad to hear from you. Peter Grant, take over, will you, please?

[Announcer]

Well, Dell, you remember when the great American pastime was keeping up with the Joneses? When we paid a certain price for our automobile because the neighbors had one like it. And we paid the top price. The top price, mind you, for cigarettes. Because it was the accepted standard price. Well, we've come a long way since then. Today we buy for real value. Millions have found that they can get highest quality cigarettes for 3 to 5 cents less when they buy Avalons. Now, here's an everyday scene from a big city department store. The clerk at the tobacco counter is talking to the store buyer.

[Red Foley]

Oh, Mr. Crawford, we need more Avalons. You better double our regular order.

[Announcer]

Order Avalons again.

[Singer]

Why?

[Announcer]

Say they're selling faster every day.

[Red Foley]

Yes, you bet they sure are. And you can understand why if you ever smoked one. Yeah, sure. They're real quality cigarettes. And still they cost several cents less.

[Announcer]

And he's absolutely right, friends. Avalons are quality cigarettes. Make no mistake about them that. Yet, they cost 3 to 5 cents less than popular Price brands. Give them a trial, you'd never guess they cost you less. Next time, forget price habit. Give your thrifty judgment a chance. Ask for Avalon cigarettes.

[Secretary]

And don't forget your change.

[Del King]

If you like your jazz music hot and slow, here's just what the doctor ordered. Phil Davis and the Avalon Orchestra's prescription of Beale Street Blues. Well, Phil, I hereby appoint you my all time musical doctor.

[Red Foley]

Well, sir, that goes for me too, Dale.

[Del King]

That's fair enough, Fred. But remember, it takes all kinds of ingredients to spell variety. So what are you in the Avalon Chorus going to sing for us tonight?

[Red Foley]

Well, it's an old tune, but one most everybody likes. And it's different from all our other numbers. Tonight.

[Singer]

Tonight.

[Red Foley]

Throw another log on the fire.

[Singer]

Throw another log on the fire

[Announcer]

Keep

[Singer]

my golden memories aglow I don't see the face of my loved one

[Announcer]

when

[Singer]

the logs are burning low Throw another log on the pile Bring back all the sweetest days I've known When our hearts were young in the springtime and her love was mine alone now there's nothing left but the embers Springtime seemed so long ago

Throw another love on

[Announcer]

the fire

[Singer]

Keep my golden memories afloat Throw another love on the fire

Keep

my golden memories afloat I don't see

[Announcer]

the face of my loved one

[Singer]

when

[Announcer]

the lords are burning Glory

[Singer]

Throwing all the log on the fire

[Announcer]

Bring back

[Singer]

all the sweetest days I've known When

[Announcer]

our hearts were young in the springtime Springtime seemed so long ago

[Singer]

now there's nothing left but the embers Springtime seemed so long ago

Throw another love on

the fire Keep my golden memories aglow.

[Red Foley]

Well, thank you, folks. And now, Peter Grant, will you introduce the Avalon brothers?

[Announcer]

They need no special introduction. Red, all I have to say is, when you ask for Avalon cigarettes, don't forget your chain. Yes, Avalon cigarettes, dear friends, cost several cents less than others. You too can save this difference like all of us Avalon bro. Each pack is wrapped in cellophane each pack is union made. No wonder folks from coast to coast say Avalon to the parade.

[Singer]

So why not always travel on with Avalon?

[Red Foley]

Yes, you'd never guess, but avalons cost only $0.10 plus City or state tax.

[Red Skelton]

Say, Red Foley, I sure enjoyed your singing tonight.

[Red Foley]

Well, thanks a lot, Red Skelton. And you know I like. Yes, you know I liked it, too. But seriously, Red, why don't you read the folks that telegram you saved from Fred Allen, huh?

[Red Skelton]

Well, if we got time, why, sure, go ahead. Well, it says, dear Red, why should I pan a you in a feud. Why, in one week I could knock you flatter than my voice. So I'll panic you on the back. Best of luck, Brick Top. Signed, Fred Allen. Well, thanks a lot, Fred. And I think that's one of the nicest pats on the back I ever got. Good night, folks. Good night, Red.

[Red Foley]

Well, good night, Red.

[Del King]

Friends, we cordially invite evening at the same time when the Brown and Williamson Tobacco Corporation will again present Avalon Time. This is Del King saying good night, everybody. Avalon Time originated in the studios of the nation.