Podcast Summary: "Avalon Time - Napoleon Bonapart Skelton"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: March 17, 2026
Main Theme:
An episode from the classic radio comedy "Avalon Time," starring Red Skelton, featuring vaudevillian humor, musical interludes, sponsor spots, and a comedic Napoleon Bonaparte sketch. The show is a throwback to the golden age of radio, mixing lighthearted banter, songs, and parody history.

Main Cast & Characters

• Red Skelton: Host and main comic performer
• Del King: Announcer/comic foil
• Edna Stilwell: Skelton's primary female costar
• Red Foley: Singer/guitarist, featured performer
• Bob Strong: Bandleader and part of comic interplay

Episode Structure & Highlights

Opening Banter & Sponsor Humor ([01:24]-[02:34])

• The show opens with Del King introducing the night's cast: "And the only man in radio with patch pockets and pants to match, Red Skelton." ([01:24])
• Red Skelton immediately sets the comic tone with signature self-deprecating jokes:
  “Listen, Dell, there’s no patches in my pants. That’s a shadow.” ([01:44])
• Red and Del trade barbs about “owning the place,” referencing radio sponsor power.
• Skelton’s Kentucky Derby story is a run of puns and equestrian gags:
  • "I have a horse called Dictator. ... He thinks he’s a thoroughbred, but he’s a big jackass." ([02:50])
  • "That horse was so long, he came in first, second and third." ([03:26])

Musical Performance: "Funny Old Hills" ([04:48]-[06:53])

• Red Foley performs the song "Funny Old Hills."
• The scene evokes the American prairie and folk nostalgia.

Skelton & Cast Chicago Banter ([10:13]-[14:23])

• Red Skelton returns “from Chicago,” setting up a run of Windy City gags.
• Skelton flirts playfully with Edna Stilwell about her dress:
  • Stilwell: “It’s the latest thing–late.” ([10:56])
  • Skelton: “I’d say it hasn’t even arrived yet.” ([10:59])
• Several quips about Chicago’s landmarks and news scene, including a pun about the “Wrigley Building”:
  • "I stood there three hours and it didn’t wriggle an inch." ([13:05])
• Comedic interview scenario:
  • “Meat packer can tongue.” ([13:37])

Meet Bob Strong, Running Gags ([15:08]-[17:23])

• The cast jokes about Bob Strong’s “strength” versus Skelton's “bare feet.”
• Recycled vaudeville gags (kissing without touching), completed with comedic misfires:
  • “I'll bet you I can kiss you without touching you.” ([16:34])
  • Edna: “Put up the $100.” ([17:20])

Musical Performance: "Heaven Can Wait" ([17:46]-[19:37])

• Jeanette delivers a soft, romantic ballad, accompanied by orchestration.
• Lyric: “Heaven can wait. This is paradise, just being here with you and breathing the air we do.” ([17:46])

Whimsical Sponsor Spot & Comedy Rhyming Battle ([21:42]-[23:13])

• The cast competes for who gets to promote Avalon cigarettes:
  • Edna presents a humorous poem in the form of a sponsor jingle ([22:10]).
• Red and Edna riff on rhyming as comedy:
  • Skelton: “We should always have a rhyme on this program, because rhyme rhymes with Avalon.” ([23:00])
  • Edna: “Yeah, like your hair is tawny and are you corny.” ([23:05])
  • Del: “Now if you two don’t stop, I’ll call me a cop. Oh, shucks, you got me doing it.” ([23:13])

Musical Performance: "Red Skies in the Night" ([23:41]-[25:40])

• Red Foley returns for a moody, picturesque ballad.

Featured Sketch: "Napoleon Bonaparte Skelton" ([25:40]-[31:32])

Setup:

• Del King sets the scene: “Spring of 1814, Napoleon was exiled to the island of Elba...” ([25:55])
• Skelton stars as the hapless, comic ‘Napoleon Skelton’ interacting with Josephine (Edna), the Countess, and the Duke of Wellington.

Key Gags & Moments:

• Hand-in-coat joke:
  • Josephine: “Why do you keep standing there with your hand in your pocket?”
  • Skelton: “...I've lost the button off my shorts. I loaned it to the general for a game of Tiddly Winks.” ([26:25]-[26:52])
• Napoleon’s stature:
  • Skelton: "Don't be misled just because I'm short. Precious things come in small packages."
  • Josephine retorts: "Yeah, so does poison." ([29:33])
• Mock French accent and names (“Nappy Slappy to Happy”)
• Battle Plan parody:
  • “The English don’t fire till they see the whites of the enemy’s eyes.—We'll have our men fight blindfolded!” ([28:32])
• Duke of Wellington conference:
  • Wellington: “Now, why any more needless fighting? All we demand is that you leave France forever.” ([30:09])
  • Skelton as Napoleon: “Where will I go? ...As far as I'm concerned, you can go to Helena.” ([31:23])
• The sketch ends on a playful note, parodying historical gravitas with tongue-in-cheek punchlines.

Memorable Quotes & Jokes

1. Red Skelton:
   “That’s the first shadow I ever saw with a seam.” ([01:49])

2. Red Skelton:
   “He thinks he’s a thoroughbred, but he’s a big jackass.” ([02:50])

3. Edna Stilwell:
   “It’s the latest thing–late.” ([10:56])

4. Edna Stilwell:
   “Yeah, like your hair is tawny and are you corny.” ([23:05])

5. Red Skelton as Napoleon:
   “Don’t be misled just because I’m short. Precious things come in small packages.”
   Edna as Josephine: “Yeah, so does poison.” ([29:33])

6. Napoleon’s battle plan:
   “Have our men to fight blindfolded.” ([28:32])

Notable Segments & Timestamps

• [01:24] - Show introduction, Red Skelton’s opening comedy
• [02:34] - Kentucky Derby horse racing jokes
• [04:48] - “Funny Old Hills” musical interlude by Red Foley
• [10:13] - Skelton returns, Chicago banter, Edna Stilwell’s fashion humor
• [13:05] - Wrigley Building/puns on Chicago landmarks
• [17:46] - “Heaven Can Wait” performed by Jeanette
• [22:10] - Edna’s comic Avalon cigarette rhyme
• [23:41] - “Red Skies in the Night” performed by Red Foley
• [25:55] - Comedy sketch: “Napoleon Bonaparte Skelton,” parodying the Emperor’s final days

Tone & Style

• Language: Classic vaudeville, puns, light-hearted barbs, witty repartee
• Tone: Fast-paced, cheerful, nostalgic, with a spirit of playful camaraderie
• Style: Mixes period-appropriate humor with sponsor plugs and musical entertainment.

Final Thoughts

This episode of "Avalon Time" demonstrates why radio variety shows held families rapt before television's arrival. It’s an energetic blend of music, comedy, and historic parody, brought to life by the legendary Red Skelton and his ensemble. The ‘Napoleon Bonaparte’ sketch is the comedic centerpiece, full of quickfire gags and wordplay that still land nearly a century later. For fans of radio history, classic comedy, or Red Skelton’s trademark charm, this episode is a delightful listening experience.