Loading summary
Transcript1 lines
- [00:00]
A
What's up baby? It's Bretzky. And I'm here to tell you that spinquest.com is giving out free sweeps coins. All you gotta do is purchase a ten dollar coin pack and guess what? They're gonna give you the coins from a thirty dollar coin pack that lets you play all your favorite games like Blackjack, Wanted, Dead or Wild. And we're talking real cash prizes, baby. Spinquest.com Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. A pack of Avalon cigarettes please. Yes, sir. Oh, just a moment, sir. Don't forget your change. You never guess, but Avalons cost you less. Good evening, friends. Good evening. This is Dal King saying welcome to Avalon Time with greetings from Red Foliage, Jeanette, Phil Davis and the Avalon Orchestra, and only man in radio who brags because he can read and write, Red Skelton. Thank you very much. Thanks a lot. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Say, Skelton, did you go to the Lewis and Roper fight? No, I didn't go. I don't think I missed much either. I was talking to Roper and he said he's sorry he went. I kind of feel sorry for Lewis though. He don't get a fight much anymore, but at least he gets around. I used to be a fighter. Hey, Shelton, you never fought in your life? Say microphone. You're making so much noise I can't hear what I'm saying. You ain't messing anything. I feel great tonight. I've been out playing golf all day. I shot a 73. Boy, that's the toughest hole I ever played. Now I really played 19 holes. There's only 18. I dug another one. Boy, what a golfer I am. Good evening, folks. Little late there. See, I'm really a golfer. They call me the Hazard Kid. I was on the fairway once last season. I was in one bunker so long that a guy came around, hand me a paycheck. He thought I was working there. Every time I'd take a swing at the ball, I dug a hole deeper. I dug a hole so deep that I came up with a Chinese accent. On the third hole, my ball went right into a spinach pad. It took me eight strokes to get out of the roughage. On the 10th hole, I. I thought I saw a snake and I picked up a stick to hit it and I fainted. What I hit was a stick and what I picked up was a snake. On the 11th hole I got a birdie. Boy, I was kind of proud too. It's the first time I ever got a birdie without telling a joke. You meet a lot of important people playing golf, though. I met Sunny Rand. She plays a good game back she goes around in nothing but you know, there's nothing like getting up every morning at 6 o' clock and going out and playing 18 holes of golf and come back in, take an ice cold shower. Of course, I don't do it. I only read what's here on the paper. Well, I've been up here teeing off long enough, so I'll step aside and let Red Foley play through with a Cowboy and the Lady. Hit it down the fairway, fella. You got a lot of nice people waiting to caddy. The cowboy and the lady met there on the ferry that was painted by the western son above. An old trail cool and shady Led them to the prairie where the cowboy and the lady fell in love it be a where the bus alone no longer roll it be a where the naval once lived they build a now there rock a cradle Somewhere on the prairie where the cowboy and the lady fell in love. Alone no longer old. Once lived they build a home and now they rock the cradle Somewhere on the prairie where the cowboy and the lady fell in. Ladies and gentlemen, here's a statement that means a great deal to any smoker. Yes, it's practically the same as putting money into your pocket. Avalon cigarettes, highest quality cigarettes, cost you 3 to 5 cents less per pack than other popular price brands. Think what that means, friends. It means you can have all the high quality you demand in your cigarettes and still save 3 to 5 cents on every pack. And make no mistake about it, that systematic saving of several cents on every pack of cigarettes you smoke means many, many dollars saved a year. Now please get this point. You can pay more, but you can't get finer quality cigarettes than Avalon's. They're 100% union. Made from the world's choicest Turkish and domestic tobaccos and blended with a skill that cannot be surpassed. You'd never guess they cost you less. You have everything to gain, so give Avalon's a trial. Tonight, Bob Strong gives us a brand new arrangement of a brand new tune, Sing a Song of Sunbeams from Bing Crosby's latest picture, east side of Heaven. Forget everything you had planned for this weekend because you are sitting on your couch and winning from the comfort of your own home. I'm here with Spin Quest, where you can play hundreds of slot games, all the table games you love, and you could even win real cash prizes. New users $30 coin packs are on sale for 10 at spinquest.com SpinQuest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Bring incredible sound into every corner of your home with the new Whimsound smart speaker. Get high resolution audio with a 1.8-inch touchscreen, smart control and modern design in one powerful speaker for just $299. From Quiet Mornings to lively family gatherings, Whimsound makes every moment sound better and feel better too. Create a home fil filled with sound you love. Ready to upgrade your sound? Shop now at Amazon and search whimsound. That's W I I m S o u n d. Friends, Red skeletons walked out on us. And as you all know, this is open house week in radio. So tonight, Red has invited the whole gang over to his house for a little party. Now maybe if we hurry, we can catch up with him. Yeah, yeah. He and Ms. Stilwell are right in front of the house now. Well, here we are. Boy, this is the kind of a house I've always dreamed about. So have I. Only I call them nightmares. Yeah, well, it's home sweet home to me. Well, not so loud. People will think you're a termite. Yeah, well, wait till you get inside. You'll love it. It's got all the conveniences. Day and night, burglar service, ventilated roof, hot and cold running water, bugs. Do you call those conveniences? Sure, and if I ask the landlord, he'll even put in a bathtub. Well, let's go in. Do you have a key? Yep. Next month the landlord's gonna put a door on the plate. Come on now, step right into a real air conditioned house. Air conditioned? Ooh, you better send it back and have it reconditioned. Now look here, you've said just about enough. What was that noise? That was my uncle upstairs. He's a nice fellow, only he's a little reckless. In fact, he came home tonight reckless to the gill. He'll be roaming all over the house later. Gee, I wish that gang would hurry up and come with those presents. Presents? Well, did you tell them this was your birthday? Well, not exactly. I didn't say it was my birthday. I said I hear a screwball celebrating two day birthday this week. And can I help it if they think it's me? Oh, look, here comes the whole crowd together. Oh, hiya, Phil Davis. Hiya, skinny fan. Say, what kind of a tough neighborhood is this? I stepped into a drugstore to get weighed and a scale chased me. Three blocks. Don't let it worry you, Bill. Let me have your coat. Say, it's a nice looking coat you got here. Yeah, it's all wool and a yard wide. Well, here's a present I brought for you, skinny pants. Gee, Phil, you shouldn't have done it. Oh, no, you shouldn't have done it and got your head knocked off. Say, I think I'll roam around the house, Skinny Pants, and see if I can find some groceries. Okay, Phil. If you find any, let me know, will you? Boy, everybody eats like things. A skeleton, I believe, the landlord. You're just the guy I've been looking for. How did you find the house, Mr. Skelton? Well, I ride an hour on the bus, walk three miles, push aside a few weeds and there it is. But you have no complaints, I shouldn't wonder. Listen, I got plenty to complain about. The first thing's that breakfast nook. Why, that thing's so small, I gotta use condensed milk in my coffee. Oh, that's nothing at all. The last tenant swallowed an olive in that breakfast nook and they had to operate to get him out. Then another thing. That roof leaks like a sieve. It does? Yeah. Then I'll have to charge you $3 extra for a shower bath. You wouldn't dare. Another thing, that cellar's half full of water. That'll be $5 extra for a swimming pool. You better quit. You're complaining yourself right into bankruptcy. Oh, this is your pretty little secretary, I believe. My, but you're beautiful. Where did you get such big rosy cheeks? My father used to be a glassblower. Well, I must be going now. I must be going. I want to sell a friend of mine a beach umbrella. I love to put over a shady deal, guys. Silly there. Say, hi. You there, Skeleton. Hi, you, Foley. Say, Skelton, here's a present for you. A nice pair of pajamas. Oh, gee, thanks a lot, Foley. Hey, by the way, do you have a charge account at Stacy's Department store? Why, no, I haven't. Well, you have now. See, Skeleton, where's the. Oh, just through that door. Turn to your left and follow the clothesline. Oh, hello there, Mr. Skelton. Oh, hi, Hercules. You look tired, kind of loose and limp. Oh, I took a bath tonight and I can't do a thing with me. Oh, here's your present, Mr. Skelton. I don't know whether you'll like it or not, but I brought you a picture of me. Oh, Herky, that's swell. A picture of you sure is a nice present. What else you bring? Good heaven. Hi. Why isn't the old clown mercenary? Say, how do you like my house, Herky? Well, I'm telling you, when words simply fail me so I'll use letters P. U. Now, listen, Herky, you may not know this, but one night George Washington and slept here. He must have been slugged. And what's that hanging over the fireplace? That's my uncle. Well, I guess this is the linen closet. Yeah, but we keep the linen in the coal bin. In the coal bin? Yeah. Well, where do you keep the coal? Well, we keep the coal in the china closet and we keep the china in the bread box. Well, what do you keep in the linen closet? My uncle. Oh, here's Filsey, Wilsey and Folsy Woolsey. Oh, isn't this Jowlsy Wowzy, just like a mor. Hey, skinny pants, what kind of a party is this anyway? Well, there's no food or cake or anything around here. Well, you fellas don't like cake, do you? Sure, we like it fine. Well, that's funny. You didn't bring any. Well, my goodness, Mr. Skelton, haven't you got anything to liven up the party? Oh, gee, I'm sorry, fellas. I forgot all about that. Tell you, I'll go down the corner and get a pint. Oh, now you're talking. Wait a minute. Let's see. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I better make that a quart. I'll be right back. That's pretty nice already. Oh, say, fellas, I'm about to ask you about that quart. What'll it be, chocolate or vanilla? Oh, wait. Jeanette sings A Plaintive Lover's Lament Be still, my heart Be still, my heart I can tell who's knocking at my door Love has come to say that we must part still, my heart Just read those eyes Trembling lips that don't know where to start Even though you know they're telling lies Be still, my heart he hears the rumbling of a drum it bids him come and he must go he's leaving me and leaving you for someone new and though we'll miss him so Will never let him know don't cry in my heart Even though our love has gone away he'll be coming back to us someday still, my heart. Don't cry in my heart Even though our love has gone away he'll be coming back to us someday Be still, my heart. I'm Little Sir Echolum. Hello, Skelton. Hello, Skelton. Hey, now you're gonna start that echo Stuff again. Echo stuff again. Listen, listen. I've gotta make an announcement about Avalon cigarettes. Avalon cigarette. Well, friends, when you buy Avalon's you get the choicest Turkish and domestic tobaccos that have been blended together with rare skill to give you an extra smooth, delightfully mild, thoroughly enjoyable smoke. I guess. Skelton Quest. Get Skelton quit. Remember friend. Remember friend. Avalons are 3 to 5 cents less per pack than other popular price packs. Other popular price packs. But you'd never guess they cost you less. I mean, you'd never guess. Well, I guess that finishes you and your Echo skeleton getting all mixed up there. So the next time friends ask for Avalon cigarettes. And don't forget your change and don't forget your chain. I'll fix this guy. What are you saying? Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. I'm a nut. You said it. You think you're pretty smart, don't you? Huh? Smart guy? Well, just for that. Just for that, Red bully in the Avalon course will give us a little more of this. A little Sir Echo. Carry on. Will you read Sir Echo. Carry on. Little C. How do you do? Hello, hello, little Sarah Co I'm very blue. Hello, hello, hello, hello. Won't you come over and play? You're a nice little fellow I know by your voice but you're always so far away. Satan, you come over and play. You're a nice little fellow I know by your voice but you're always so far away. What's up baby? It's Bretzky. And I'm here to tell you that spinquest.com is giving out free sweeps coins. All you gotta do is purchase a ten dollar coin pack. And guess what? They're gonna give you the coins from a thirty dollar coin pack that lets you play all your favorite games like Blackjack Wanted, Dead or Wild. And we're talking real cash prizes, baby. Spin Quest.com Spin Quest is a free to play social casino. Voidware prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. Some days you just want to amplify your everyday look. Like when you want the look of false lashes without the extra effort. Reach for Thrive Cosmetics Liquid Lash Volumizer Mascara or when you want all eyes on your smile. Keep Empower Gloss Ultra Glossy Lip Serum in your bag. It's a burst of 24 hour hydration that smooths like a serum, shines like a gloss and can be worn sheer or layered. You'll always look and feel your best with Thrive Cosmetics. Plus Every product is 100% vegan, cruelty free and made with clean skin. Loving ingredients that work with your skin, not against it amplify your everyday. Go to thrivecosmetics.com shine26 for an exclusive offer of 20% off your first order. That's Thrive Cosmetics. C-A-U-S-E M E T-I C S.com shine26. And now for that Gaga saga, a story of one of Red Skelton's ancestors, Robin Hood Skelton. We now take you back to the year 1191 when Robin Hood Skelton and his band of merry men roamed Sherwood Forest in England. As we look in on a sylvan glade, we find Robin blowing his horn. All right, Little Boy Blue, put that thing down before it explodes in your face. Barely. I need this horn to call my men. Barely. Well, they don't need one for what they're calling you. Yeah. Listen, where we at the fine thing if a guy can't practice on a horn out in the woods, where am I gonna go? You're asking me? A lady. Okay. Who am I supposed to rob today? Dame Stillwell? Nobody. One of your spies just came in. He says the Sheriff of Nottingham is out looking for you again. Wonder what a guy gets for a job like that. Being sheriff, he's probably doing it for nothing. Ham. Hell, wish that guy let me alone. All I ask is a chance to make a dishonest doll. I don't think you'll ever spot me in the woods with my new Lincoln green suit. Hey, how do you like this green suit? Well, with those legs, all you need is a few warts and you'll look like a frog. Yeah. Now let's get down to business. What'll I do with that bag of gold you stole from the Earl of Clothes? Let's keep punching here. We're doing all right. The laughs are coming good. The people. What'll I do with the money? You better give it to the orphans, the widows and last year's sweepstake winners. And what about that letter you sent Sir Krumpo? Oh, you mean that night letter? Yeah. You know. You told him you'd send for if he didn't send £5,000 in gold. You were going to steal his wife. Yeah. Did he send it? No. But he says he's interested in your proposition. That's good. What ho, Robin Hood. What ho, Little John. The Sheriff of Nottingham is now entering Sherwood Forest with 190 men he can. And I've only got 35 men. What's the matter? You afraid he's gonna lick you? No, but he Got me outnumbered so bad that I'm afraid some of his men will get away. Chop down some of the trees that'll hold them back. No good. As fast as we chop them down, they chop them up. Obey orders, Little John. You're a hard man, Robin Hood. Right. And I'll lick any man in the woods who says neck. Nay. The ayes have it. Motion is careful. I think you're scared of Little John. What? Dame Stillwell. You think I'm scared of Little John? I do. And you, Little John, do you agree with Dame Stillwell when she says I'm scared of you? I do. Then I pronounce you man and wife. Oh, goody, goody, goody good. There you are, Robin Hood. Goodness me. I've been looking all over for you. Well, if it ain't Alan. And I certainly hope you've got a needle and thread I can borrow. Why, I want to take a tuck and Friar Tuck. Hey, wait a minute. Let me at that young whippersnapper. Let me at him, Fryer Tuck. Oh, for goodness sake. Robin Hood saved me. Now, wait a minute, Fryer Tuck. Take it easy. What's this all about? Well, good heavens. I just wanted him to help me find my arrow. Where was your arrow? Stuck in my. My back. Well, can I help it if you look like a bull moose? It was an accident. Fire accident, nothing. He's been sticking arrows in me as far back as the Inquisition. I'll let him go this time, Robin Hood. But I'll fix him if he keeps puncturing my dignity. You sure saved my hide from a tanning that time, Robin Hood. And if there's anything I can do. Oh, go away. I'm busy. Go fly a cock. Go fly a kite. Yeah, get out of here, will you? What are we going to do about the sheriff, Robin Hood? You better station some of my archers in the tree. They can't climb trees. They keep falling out. Well, then let them stay on the ground. I can't have the people to say that Robin Hood has falling archers. Hand me my horn, Dame Stillwell, so I can call me merry men. Hail, my trusty yeoman. Yes, yes. Soon we'll be going into action, my yo men. Yes, yes. Hey, wait a minute. What are yes men or yo men, my sir? You ain't kidding me. I know a rat when I see one. Get your bows. And all of you get stationed ready for action. Hey, somebody's taking the string from my bow. Gets the string. Is going to be for my bow, too. Oh, Robin Hood. Look, I'm Doing it. Who cares what you're doing? And I had an awful time getting the strings off the bows. You took the strings off the bows? Well, for goodness sakes, didn't you tell me to go fly a kite, Sam? You know, friends, we had a lot of fun tonight. We'd like to stay on for another half hour, but our time on this network is up. So all we want you to do is remember this. When you ask for Avalon Cigarettes, don't forget your chain. Yes. Avalon cigarettes, dear friends, cost several cents less than others. You two can save this difference, like all of us Avalon brothers. Each pack is wrapped in cellophane, each pack is union made. No wonder folks from coast to coast say Avalon see the parade. So why not always Revlon with Avalon? Yes, you'd never guess. Yes, But Avalon's cost only $0.10 plus City or state tax. Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to thank you for listening to Avalon Time. And next week, bring along a friend and try an Avalon. Thanks a lot. We hope you've enjoyed tonight's show and we cordially invite you to be with us next Saturday evening at the same time when the Brown and Williamson Tobacco Corporation will again present Avalon Time. Del King speaking. Good night everybody. Avalon Time originated in the studios of the Nation station and has reached you through the National Broadcasting Company. Forget everything you had planned for this weekend because you are sitting on your couch and winning from the comfort of your own home. I'm here with Spinquest where you can play hundreds of slot games, all the table games you love and you could even win real cash prizes. New users 30 coin packs are on sale for 10@spinquest.com Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. From Geico Subconscious News, I'm Tammy Racing thoughts tonight you just left for work and had a non specific feeling that something was happening to your place. And it wasn't good, Dan. Exactly, Tammy. It could be smoke damage, theft or just too much caffeine, but you can't stop thinking about it. But with renters insurance through geico, your stuff is covered so you don't have to worry. And that's great cuz the weekend is coming up and it's chock full of social obligations that are ready to fill that void. Oh boy, will they dad? It feels good to worry less. It feels good to geico.