Avalon Time - Skelton Discovers America

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Avalon Time - Skelton Discovers America

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Date: March 17, 2026
Episode Theme: A classic Golden Age radio comedy revue headlined by Red Skelton and friends, featuring musical performances, whimsical sketches, and a historical parody in which "a Skelton discovers America."

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Overview

This episode of Avalon Time balances musical performances, tongue-in-cheek humor, and rich period character sketches with a playfully absurdist retelling of how Red Skelton’s “ancestor” discovered America. The show captures the spirit and cadence of 1930s radio variety, with commercials, musical interludes, comedy bits, and a recurring theme of good-natured self-deprecation.

Key Performers: Red Skelton, Greta Stillwell, Dell King, Phil Davis, Red Foley, plus the Avalon Chorus.
Main Sketches: The Hot Dog Stand caper and "Leif Erickson Skelton Discovers America."
Tonal Highlights: Wordplay, vaudeville banter, audience asides, and parody of history and contemporary living.

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. Musical Opening & Variety Show Atmosphere

• [00:42–03:18]: Opening orchestral dance tune and crooned lyrics about the “New Bolero at the Savoy,” setting the upbeat, jazzy tone for the program.
• The host’s signature affability:

  “Yes, once again, it’s what’s yours in music… All request, All Dance show…” (00:42)

Notable Quotes

• Singer: “It’s a killer with a new kind of joy…” (01:18)

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2. Red Skelton’s Comedy and The Hot Dog Stand Sketch

• [03:18–06:42]: Red Skelton launches into his signature rapid-fire comic riffing, playing with sports, politics, and self-effacing jokes about business.
  • Joke about baseball opening day and censors:

    “I’ve been up here batting long enough to get a base on bull…” (03:18)

• [08:26–15:35]: Main comedy sketch: Skelton and his secretary, Greta Stillwell, run into comical misadventures selling hot dogs by a deserted highway. Characters banter about failed business, mistaken livestock, and ludicrous customers.

Notable Quotes

• Red Skelton & Greta Stillwell:

  Greta: “Who gave you this hot dog business anyhow?”
  Red: “Nobody gave it to me. I bought it. I gave a guy $3 and my jackknife for it.”
  Greta: “That proves they gave you the business.” (08:31–08:44)

• On mistaken animals:

  Red: “Look, a big white car just pulled up with twin horns and four universal joints.”
  Greta: “That’s a cow.” (09:23–09:35)
  Red: “How come he hasn’t got any horns?”
  Greta: “The reason that cow doesn’t have any horns is because it’s a horse, you dope.” (09:39)

• Groaner humor:

  Greta: “Muscle looks like macaroni with veins.” (11:35)

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3. Musical Interlude: “Mexicali Rose”

• [04:33–06:42]: Red Foley croons this popular ballad, providing a gentle contrast to the comic mayhem.

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4. The Historical Parody: “How a Skelton Discovered America”

• [23:44–29:18]: The cast launches into a tongue-in-cheek “historical” re-enactment, suggesting that Red Skelton’s fictional Viking ancestor, Leif Erickson Skelton, discovered America. The parody lampoons both the tired classroom stories and the historic figures involved.

Scene Breakdown

• Leif Erickson Skelton’s Voyage

  • Lost at sea, believing he’s in the Sahara Desert, using an outmoded map, and having thrown the compass overboard.
  • Comic bickering and wild nautical “logic”:

    Greta: “Where are we, Leif Erickson?”
    Red: “Judging by the North Star, we’re somewhere in the middle of the Sahara Desert.” (25:00) Greta: “Why don’t you look at the compass?”
    Red: “I threw that thing overboard. What good’s a compass? I want to go west. That thing only points north.” (25:11–25:13)

  • Slapstick with mutiny and “walking the plank,” growing meta as the cast jokes about the audience’s reaction:

    “That usually got a laugh. What happened?” (28:00)

• Landfall and the Encounter with "Native Americans":

  Red: “Thousands of red skinned savages. Yeah, I never saw so many foreigners in my life.” (28:39) Greta: “Here comes their chief up the side of the boat. Look at that ugly cruel face with a horrible looking savage.”
  “Now you fellas turn right around and get out of here.” [as the “chief”] (28:51)

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5. Musical Segment: “Throw Another Log on the Fire”

• [21:21–23:44]: Red Foley and the Avalon Chorus perform a sentimental ballad about nostalgia and love lost.

  “Throw another log on the fire / Keep my golden memories aglow…” (21:40)

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6. Running Commercial Parody and Meta-Humor

• Throughout: Characters continually poke fun at the pervasiveness of advertising, with Red Skelton and Dell King mock-debating the virtues of Avalon cigarettes in a brisk, vaudeville-style repartee.

  Red: “How much less do Avalons cost than other popular price brands?”
  Dell: “Only 10 cents per pack, plus any city or state tax.” (19:18–19:25)
  Dell: “Avalon cigarettes are superior quality because they’re 100% union made from the world’s choicest Turkish and domestic tobaccos.” (19:35) Red: “And they’re blended together, junior, to give you…”

• Red’s comic sign-off:

  “You’re a little tired. You better go over and rest your tired head on a pile of commercial announcements.” (20:09)

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Memorable Quotes and Clever Wordplay

• “I wish you’d be careful how you use that word business. It’s like you’d have a little respect for the dead.” (Red Skelton, 08:46)
• “Some cows have long horns, some have short horns, some don’t have any horns at all. But the reason that cow doesn’t have any horns is because it’s a horse, you dope.” (Greta Stillwell, 09:39)
• “I called on three kings… Swell. The other guy had three bags. They don’t call me ‘Keep-the-lucky’ for nothing.” (Red Skelton, 25:56)

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Structure & Flow

• The episode moves briskly, interspersing musical numbers with comic bits, and culminating in an extended historic farce.
• The interaction among Skelton, Greta Stillwell, and Dell King provides nonstop wisecracks and meta-asides.
• The recurring gag of “Avalon cigarettes” punctuates the show, both as in-universe content and self-aware parody.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:42 | Show begins, musical variety introduction | | 03:18 | Red Skelton’s monologue & opening jokes | | 08:26 | Hot Dog Stand comedy sketch begins | | 15:20 | Hot Dog scam twist/payoff | | 21:21 | Rendition of "Throw Another Log on the Fire" | | 23:44 | Introduction to "How a Skelton Discovered America" | | 24:37 | Comedy historical re-enactment as Vikings lost at sea | | 28:26 | "Land ahoy!"—Comic meeting with “Native Americans," comedic finale | | 29:57 | Closing commercial and final comic asides |

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Tone & Style

The cast delivers the episode in the playful, rapid-fire style typical of late 1930s radio, full of puns, vaudeville timing, and musical flourishes. The humor is self-referential and light, poking fun as much at the sponsors and the show’s own format as at their historical subject matter.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a lively showcase of Red Skelton’s comedic instincts and the convivial energy of radio’s golden age. If you enjoy witty banter, comic sketches, and the warm, communal vibe of vintage American radio, "Skelton Discovers America" delights with hilarious anachronisms, musical interludes, and a broad ensemble cast always in on the joke.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Radio Show Host]

Yes, once again, it's what's yours in music. Our Saturday night and early Sunday morning All request All Dance show coming to you from WCPO and to the courtesy of Felsenbrough Beer and Old Hickory Ale. And just in case there was any doubt as to what that introductory melody was, it's one that you've been calling for and requested requesting during the past hour when through the courtesy of the brewers of Felsenbrau Beer at Oldick Riel, we have left the air to present a special Community Chest broadcast. But now we carry on with our all request show and we get back to Gene Krupa and that Bolero at the Savoy. Here it is.

[Singer]

It's There is a dance called the New Bolero at the Savoy. It's a killer with a new kind of joy. It's taking the time night after night while the ickies wonder what it's about. All the jitterbugs are beating you down ain't strange swinging on down My, my, oh, how that band can play. You'll see those dancers sway to Tom Tom rhythm. Take it from me that the new bolero at the so far is a killer with a new kind of joy Is taking the time.

[Red Skelton]

In St. Louis. Now I had a good one right here, but the censors took it out, I understand, last year. Oh, and I'm going to the opening game in Chicago in Chicago this week. I understand that last year when Mayor Kelly threw out the first bowl, the audience applauded so loud he wanted to pitch the whole game. Had a lamp there myself, I knew what was coming. But I've been up here batting long enough to get a base on bull, so I'll let Phil Davis, I mean, and the Red Foley really hit out a home run. Go on, Bo. Well, thanks a lot, folk and howdy. For my first song tonight, I'm going to sing one that I think Most everybody likes. Mr. Phil, a little introduction, please, to Mexicarose.

[Singer/Performer]

Mercy Kelly Rose, stop crying. Come back to you some sunny day Every night you'll know that I'll be pining Every hour a year While I'm away Glad those big brown eyes and smile dear. Vanish all those tears and pleasure Please don't sigh. Kiss me once again and hold me Mexican goodby. Big brown eyes and smile dear and each hollows tears and please don't sigh Kiss me once, once again and hold me. Goodbye.

[Dell King]

You know, friends, we're living in the age of accomplishment. Things that were once considered seemingly impossible are being accomplished every day. Just look about you. Look at the airplane, the radio. Things we thought miracles now taken for granted. And the same is true in the cigarette field. Once smokers thought it impossible to get a quality cigarette that sold for only 10 cents for a pack of 20. But once again, the seemingly impossible has been accomplished. This time in Avalon cigarettes. Try a pack of Avalons and prove it to yourself. They're 100% union. Made from a matchless blend of the world's finest Turkish and domestic tobaccos. With a quality that will really please you. Yes, an exclusive quality that can't be surpassed. That's why you'd never guess they cost you less. Only 10 cents? Yes, only 10 cents. Plus any city or state tax. Never has a price so low. Bought more high quality in a cigarette. Give Avalon's a trial. Why not make it tonight? And now, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to take you out on a deserted highway where Red Skelton has just opened a hot dog stand. We find that entrepreneur of the sizzling canines and his secretary, Edna Stillwell, busy doing nothing to make sure that he doesn't pay any attention to us. We'll disguise ourselves as his creditors.

[Red Skelton]

Throw another dog on the fire. Sort of getting my pitch there.

[Radio Show Host]

That whistle.

[Red Skelton]

Say, Ms. Dillwell, you don't seem very happy.

[Greta Stillwell]

Who gave you this hot dog business anyhow?

[Red Skelton]

Nobody gave it to me. I bought it. I gave a guy $3 my jackknife for it.

[Greta Stillwell]

That proves they gave you the business.

[Red Skelton]

I wish you'd be kind of careful how you use that word business. It's like you'd have a little respect for the dead. Last night I didn't have a single customer.

[Greta Stillwell]

Well, don't be disappointed if business falls off a little.

[Red Skelton]

Well, I'm not worried. I was reading a magazine in a barbershop today and it said we're going to have a big boom this year.

[Commercial Announcer]

Really?

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, it said he's going to be bigger. In 1930,

[Greta Stillwell]

that magazine was 10 years old.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, no wonder they thought Hoover would be re electric.

[Dell King]

What's that.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, a customer. Look, a big white car just pulled up with twin horns and four universal joints.

[Greta Stillwell]

That's a cow.

[Singer/Performer]

Yeah.

[Red Skelton]

Look, there's another one over there without any horns. How come he hasn't got any horns?

[Greta Stillwell]

Well, some cows have long horns and some have short horns. Some don't have any horns at all. But the reason that cow doesn't have any horns is because it's a horse, you dope.

[Red Skelton]

Say, the woods is full. Look, there's another cat. Oh, hiya, Phil Davis.

[Singer/Performer]

Hello, Red.

[Red Skelton]

How are you?

[Greta Stillwell]

What are you doing in the woods, Phil?

[Dell King]

Well, you see, I was out for a ride. Ms. Stillwell and I had a little

[Red Skelton]

trouble with my Austin in. Austin? What happened, a tire go flat? No, a car went flat.

[Greta Stillwell]

Want something to eat, Phil?

[Red Skelton]

Not me.

[Dell King]

I've got a soldier's stomach. Everything I eat goes to the front.

[Red Skelton]

Besides, hot dogs don't agree with me.

[Greta Stillwell]

Yeah, but these are streamlined. Why, they digest so fast. You have to take the bicarbonate of soda first.

[Red Skelton]

Nothing like a pun that lays there. Say, you better eat something, Phil. It's a long way into town. Well, I don't mind the long walk.

[Dell King]

The only thing that embarrasses me is the hitchhikers thumbing rides.

[Red Skelton]

Well, I'll see you later, skinny pants. Skinny pants. Hello, Phil. Guy calling me skinny pants. You know, I could really branch out in business, though, if I was Phil Davis.

[Greta Stillwell]

How's that look?

[Red Skelton]

Ain't he got a corporation in the back of him? Run for your life. The dam's buster. Boy, I'm cold. Chill to the bone.

[Greta Stillwell]

Chilled to the bone.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah, well, put your hat on. Yeah, that's a fine way to talk to the man who'd face death for you.

[Greta Stillwell]

You'd face death for me?

[Dell King]

Sure.

[Greta Stillwell]

How come you didn't do anything when that snake jumped at me yesterday?

[Red Skelton]

He wasn't dead, was he? But I really fight for you, though. Look at the muscle in my arm.

[Greta Stillwell]

Muscle looks like macaroni with veins.

[Red Skelton]

What's that coming from?

[Greta Stillwell]

Look who's coming up the road on a donkey.

[Singer]

Yeah, how about that?

[Red Skelton]

Hello, Mr. Scous. Well, Hercules, where'd you get that thing?

[Singer/Performer]

Thing?

[Red Skelton]

Why, he's the Missouri polo pony. Gee, he's kind of cute. Get off and let me on there. I've always wanted to ride a donkey. Well, why don't you get on to yourself?

[Greta Stillwell]

What are you doing up in this neck of the woods, Herky?

[Red Skelton]

Oh, I'm a naturalist. I just love to go around studying wildlife. You know, I can hold conversation with the animals. You can. Next time you see a skunk, ask him, what's the big ide.

[Greta Stillwell]

If you're a naturalist, what are you doing with that gun?

[Red Skelton]

Well, today I came out here especially to hunt gorillas and lions and things. There's no gorillas and lions up here. Well, I can dream, can't I? How come you aren't wearing any shoes, Herky? Well, you see, when I go out in the woods, I never wear a shoe. Walking through the grass just tickles me to death.

[Greta Stillwell]

Look how big his toes are. They look like bananas.

[Red Skelton]

Well, that's my nurse's fault that my toes are so big. She played this little piggy went to market till I was 10 years old. My, those hot dogs smell good. I haven't got any money with them, but they sure do make my mouth water. They do? Give the guy a blotter.

[Greta Stillwell]

Oh, give him a hot dog.

[Red Skelton]

Okay, I'll give you one if you let me ride that donkey. Well, all right, but you're kind of big, so don't walk in front of him. If he sees what he's carrying around for a measly hot dog, he'll drop fit. Well, I must be going now, Mr. Mr. Skelton, it looks like rain, and I left some things on the line I want. To that. Herky, what's this coming up the road? A customer. Don't tell me that's a cow.

[Greta Stillwell]

Don't try and tell me it's an automobile,

[Dell King]

Mr. Skelton, I believe.

[Red Skelton]

You got a very funny laugh, fella. Sort of like an idiot. You're just the guy I've been looking for. And this is your secretary, I believe.

[Dell King]

Haven't I seen your face before?

[Greta Stillwell]

Well, I usually carry it around with me.

[Red Skelton]

Listen, fella, I got a bone to pick with you.

[Dell King]

Do these hot dogs have pedigrees?

[Greta Stillwell]

Oh, certainly. They're all registered at the kennel club.

[Red Skelton]

Hey, don't you hear me talking to you?

[Dell King]

Yes.

[Red Skelton]

Don't you see me ignoring you? Hey, come here. Ms. Stilwell, that's the guy that sold me this place. Look, we'll make him think business is real good and he'll buy it back, huh?

[Singer]

Okay.

[Red Skelton]

Okay, sir, we really are doing business here. No kidding, we really are. Say, Ms. Dilwell, you better order about 50 more pounds of hot dog. That sounds like a lot of bologna. That settles it, brother. When you sold me this place, you took me. But, Mr. Skelton, I have something to tell you. You ain't telling me nothing. I want. My voice is changing. I want my three bucks and my jackknife.

[Radio Show Host]

Very well.

[Red Skelton]

Here you are.

[Dell King]

But I'm afraid you're going to regret this, Mr. Skelton. Thanks.

[Red Skelton]

But what makes you think I'm going to regret it? Well, the government is going to build

[Dell King]

a monument on this spot, and they're willing to pay $5,000 for it.

[Red Skelton]

You give me back my property, you claim jumper.

[Singer/Performer]

You.

[Dell King]

Listen to plaintive music Voices blended in rhythmic prayer Come one, come all. It's the cotton pickers. Congregation.

[Singer/Performer]

Sake.

[Dell King]

Surprises. I mean those pleasant surprises. Well, the first time you try Avalon.

[Red Skelton]

Hey, wait a minute, Del. How come you're telling the folks about Avalon's tonight?

[Dell King]

Say, I'm glad you asked me, Red. I forgot to mention that Peter Grant can't be here tonight, so I.

[Red Skelton]

Well, how come he didn't ask me to make.

[Dell King]

Well, he thinks I know more about Avalons than you do, Red.

[Red Skelton]

Oh, he does, does he? Okay, I'll see how much you know about Avalons.

[Dell King]

Okay.

[Red Skelton]

How much less do Avalons cost than other popular price brands?

[Dell King]

Only 10 cents per pack, plus any city or state tax.

[Red Skelton]

You.

[Singer/Performer]

You.

[Red Skelton]

I'll get you on this one. Why are Avalon superior quality cigarettes?

[Dell King]

Well, because they're.

[Red Skelton]

I got you. Now, come on, come on, come on.

[Dell King]

Avalon cigarettes are superior quality because they're 100% union made from the world's choices, Turkish and domestic tobaccos.

[Red Skelton]

And they're blended together, junior, to give you.

[Dell King]

To give you a delightfully mild, thoroughly enjoyable extra smooth smoke. And you'd never guess they cost you less. Next time, ask for Avalons.

[Greta Stillwell]

And don't forget your chain.

[Dell King]

There. Now you're satisfied, Skeleton. All right.

[Red Skelton]

I know when I'm licked, but I had you puffing.

[Dell King]

Yeah, you sure did. Puffing on an Avalon.

[Singer/Performer]

Yeah.

[Red Skelton]

Say, Dell, you're a little tired. You better go over and rest your tired head on a pile of commercial announcements.

[Dell King]

All right, Red, I'll see you later.

[Red Skelton]

Good old Dell. If you're listening, Mr. Avalon, that's a mighty fine bo.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Radio Show Host]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Radio Show Host]

Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more.

[Red Skelton]

And now, friends, Red Foley in the Avalon Chorus, is going to sing one of the sweetest melodies ever written. Throw another dog Throw another log on the fire.

[Singer/Performer]

Throw another log on the fire Keep my golden memories aglow I don't see the face of my loved one when the lords are burning, burning low Throw another log on the fire Bring back all the sweetest days I've known When our hearts were young in the springtime and her love was mine alone now there's nothing left but the embers Springtime seems so long, long ago Throw another love on the fire Keep my golden memories aglow Cry mel alon the fire

[Dell King]

Keep my golden and glory

[Red Skelton]

I don't

[Dell King]

see the face of my loved ones

[Singer/Performer]

when the long. Now there's nothing left but the embers Springtime seems so long ago Throne of the note all the fire if my golden memory is.

[Dell King]

Friends, we've received so many requests, especially from you high school students, to bring back our historical dramas, those stirring stories of Red Skelton's ancestors. You know. Well, Red says he's happy about the whole thing, and if you can take it, he can get. So tonight, we turn back the pages of history to show you how a skeleton discovered America.

[Greta Stillwell]

Well, Mr. Skelton, I, for one, don't believe that stuff about your ancestors discovering America.

[Singer/Performer]

No.

[Red Skelton]

You asked Del King.

[Dell King]

Sure. I know all about Christopher Columbus Skelton.

[Red Skelton]

Hey, Dell, not Columbus. Leif Ericson Skelton.

[Dell King]

Oh, gee whiz, I'm sorry. Yes, I know all about Leif Erickson Skelton, the Viking who discovered America. Shall I set the scene?

[Red Skelton]

Okay, Dell.

[Dell King]

Okay, Red.

[Red Skelton]

Okay, Phil. What music?

[Dell King]

The time. 1000 A.D. the place. Somewhere on the turbulent Atlantic Ocean. As the scene opens, we find Leif Erickson Skelton in the cabin of his proud Viking galleon.

[Singer/Performer]

The.

[Dell King]

The ship supposedly making a voyage between Norway and Greenland is lost. We find Leif frantically pouring over his map. With him is his secretary, Greta Stillwell.

[Greta Stillwell]

Where are we, Leif Erickson?

[Red Skelton]

The way I got it figured out, looking at my nautical map and judging by the position of the North Star, we're somewhere in the middle of the Sahara Desert.

[Greta Stillwell]

Well, why don't you look at the compass for a second?

[Red Skelton]

I threw that thing overboard. What good's a copy? I want to go west. That thing only points north. Close that door.

[Dell King]

Leif Ericson.

[Red Skelton]

A whale has been chasing us for the last three days. What'll I do? How's the food supply? No. Then turn around and chase him. Aye, aye, sir. Close that door.

[Greta Stillwell]

Oh, boy, this ocean's getting awful rap. You know, it reminds me of you.

[Red Skelton]

You mean it's wild, restless and unconquered?

[Greta Stillwell]

No, it's all wet and it makes me sick.

[Red Skelton]

Yeah.

[Greta Stillwell]

Oh, why did I leave Norway? Why did you have to come to Norway anyway?

[Red Skelton]

I had to go there on business. I called on old King Olaf. In fact, while I was there, I called on three kings.

[Greta Stillwell]

How'd you make out?

[Red Skelton]

Swell. The other guy had three bags. They don't call me. Keep the lucky for nothing. Close that door. Ah, mate. Foley. What's up?

[Dell King]

The barometer, and we're off our course.

[Red Skelton]

Well, if I had some boxing gloves, I'd box the compass. If we had a compass. We ain't getting many miles to the galleon, are we? How much canvas have we got up?

[Dell King]

Well, the top sheet, the main sheet,

[Red Skelton]

the bottom sheet and two pillowcases. Well, the sails ain't enough. Get those guys in the galley rowing. But we're lost.

[Dell King]

Where will they row to?

[Greta Stillwell]

Well, what's that over there?

[Red Skelton]

That's the horizon.

[Greta Stillwell]

We'll row for that. It's better than nothing.

[Dell King]

Nothing?

[Red Skelton]

I'm afraid there's gonna be mutiny. You better talk to the men. Mutiny, eh? Well, line em up at the rail. They're lined up there now. Well, tell them to turn around. We're gonna have a roll call.

[Greta Stillwell]

They've had roll call all day. Every time the ship rolls, they call you something. And I don't mean leaf the lucky.

[Red Skelton]

Come on, Mayfoley. You stay here still, Will, until you figure out where we are. Close that door. Oh, I opened it myself then. Hey, you lovers. You supposed to be Vikings? Row, you devil dogs of the sea. Quiet, man. Quiet, please. Quiet. You boys in that band heard of Appa? Only the cast reads these lines. You. You want food, eh? Okay, we're almost up to that whale. Hand me that harpoon. I'm gonna lean over the rail and get him. Now hold me tight.

[Radio Show Host]

Don't let me go.

[Red Skelton]

Now hold tight. Hold tight, foodie yak a sack. You haven't seen Home. Alright. Shucks, I missed him. Lover, come back to me.

[Greta Stillwell]

Hey, Mr. Skelton, I just figured it out. Land's only a mile away.

[Red Skelton]

In what direction?

[Greta Stillwell]

Straight down.

[Red Skelton]

Well, that settles it.

[Dell King]

I'm taking over here.

[Red Skelton]

That's mutiny, ain't it? Yeah, that's mutiny. Well, we cleared that up in a hurry. And we're making you walk the plank. You wouldn't dare. That usually got a laugh. What happened? I'll put you in irons. All of you. Do you hear me? I'll iron you. In fact, I'll wish an iron you.

[Singer/Performer]

Land ahoy.

[Dell King]

I hoyed you the first time.

[Greta Stillwell]

I wonder what strange land this is.

[Red Skelton]

Say, I don't know. Hey, look.

[Dell King]

Look what's rowing up toward us.

[Red Skelton]

Thousands of red skinned savages. Yeah, I never saw so many foreigners in my life.

[Greta Stillwell]

Here comes their chief up the side of the boat. Look at that ugly cruel face with a horrible looking savage.

[Singer]

Shhh.

[Red Skelton]

He's gonna speak. Now you fellas turn right around and get out of here.

[Singer]

Sam.

[Dell King]

Well, friends, that's all the time we have on the network tonight. And we do hope that through the week you'll remember when you ask for

[Red Skelton]

Avalon Cigarettes, don't forget your change.

[Dell King]

Yes, Avalon cigarettes, dear friends, cost several cents less than others. You too can save this difference, like all of us Avalon brothers. Each pack is wrapped in cellophane.

[Red Skelton]

Each pack is union made.

[Dell King]

No wonder folks from coast to coast say Avalon's leader parade so final.

[Singer/Performer]

Always travel on with.

[Dell King]

We hope you've enjoyed tonight's show, friends, and we cordially invite you to be with us next Saturday evening at the same time when the Brown and Williamson Tobacco Corporation will again present Avalon Time. Del King speaking. Good night, everybody. Avalon Time originated in the studios of the Nation station and has reached you through the National Broadcasting Company.

[Commercial Announcer]

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