Podcast Summary: Avalon Time – "The Thousand Dollars"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold’s Old Time Radio
Episode Date: March 17, 2026
Episode Title: Avalon Time - The Thousand Dollars

Overview

This episode of "Avalon Time" delivers a delightful blend of music, old-time comedy, and advertising charm characteristic of radio’s Golden Age. With central stars Red Skelton, Red Foley, Phil Davis, Ms. Stilwell, Del King, and the Avalon Cigarettes Announcer, listeners are offered a whimsical half-hour of musical numbers, vaudevillian banter, and skits, all revolving around the winning (and quick spending) of a $1,000 prize.

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Opening Banter and Avalon Cigarette Plug

Timestamps: 00:04 – 01:44

• The show integrates its sponsor (Avalon Cigarettes) into comedic routines, notably with playful references to how Avalons cost less, culminating in the running catchphrase: "You never guess, but Avalon's cost you less.”
• The introduction features Del King presenting Red Skelton, with a joke about Del’s mustache setting the jovial, vaudeville tone.
• Notable Quote:
  • Del King: “He has a mustache that's so big, every time he sneezes, it cracks like a whip.” (00:47)

2. Red Skelton’s Standup: Bargains and Florida

Timestamps: 01:44 – 03:15

• Red Skelton tells a story about buying a suit — expecting an “English eaton” but getting “moth eaton” instead, highlighting the show’s wordplay and puns.
• He jokes about his Florida vacation, lampooning luxury hotels and politicians.
• Notable Quote:
  • Red Skelton: “I wanted one of those English eaton suits for $35, but the guy sold me one that was moth eaton for $7.50.” (01:15)

3. Musical Interlude and Cigarette Comparison

Timestamps: 03:16 – 06:41

• Phil Davis and the band play a number (ambiguous, but possibly “Begin the Beguine”).
• The Avalon Cigarette Announcer converses with Red Skelton, turning a description of a day in the park into an extended Avalon cigarette advert, blending sponsor messaging with humor and surreal imagery (robins chirping the slogan, fountains “babbling” union-made tobacco info).
• Notable Quotes:
  • Announcer: “Even the bubbling fountain seemed to be saying they're 100% union made from mellow, ripe Turkish and domestic tobaccos...” (06:10)
  • Red Skelton: “Say, that bubbling brook sure is doing a lot of babbling, wasn't it?” (06:22)

4. Red Foley’s Musical Number: "On the Sunny Side of the Street"

Timestamps: 07:29 – 09:37

• Red Foley, introduced as the “singing star of Avalon Time,” performs this cheerful classic with the Avalon Chorus, lifting the show's mood and exemplifying the era’s musical highlights.

5. "The Thousand Dollars" Storyline

Timestamps: 09:37 – 15:12

• The narrative turns to Red Skelton’s comedic misadventures after (satirically) winning a $1,000 “booby prize” for failing a movie quiz.
• Ms. Stilwell, the quick-witted secretary, spars with Skelton about his finances, his choice of investments, and his penchant for dubious deals.
• Red is tricked out of $200 by a conman representing the “Fly-By-Night Bird Company” — a sharp jab at get-rich-quick schemes.
• Notable Exchange:
  • Ms. Stilwell: “Gee, can I touch it or isn't the money dry yet?” (10:05)
  • Red Skelton: “You won’t believe this, but for $200 I bought controlling interest in the Chicago River.” (11:36)
  • Ms. Stilwell: “He takes your pencil, shows you nothing, and you give him $200. Don’t you realize the man is stealing from you?” (14:45)

6. Musical Performance: "The Masquerade Is Over"

Timestamps: 15:25 – 17:45

• Emotional singing by Jeanette (likely one of the show's regulars), performing "The Masquerade Is Over," a torch song about lost love.

7. Avalon Time Advertising Segment

Timestamps: 17:51 – 21:04

• The Avalon Announcer delivers a direct, earnest pitch for Avalon Cigarettes, emphasizing value, union-made credentials, and the theme of “saving the difference.”
• Notable Quote:
  • Announcer: “Millions upon millions of other smokers are switching to Avalons and are getting more for their money. Why not get more for your money?” (17:51)

8. Comedic Reenactment: King Arthur Skelton’s Court

Timestamps: 21:04 – 26:22

• Red Skelton spins a tall tale about his “ancestry,” roleplaying as King Arthur in a farcical medieval skit, including Queen Guinevere, Sir Launcelot (here “Sir Long Slot Foley”), jousts, and jokes about armor.
• The medieval sendup is loaded with puns (“coat of arms” with 24 sleeves, “juice joust”) and slapstick dialogue.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Red Skelton: “Last night I went home for supper. And what do you think there was? Sirloin Slop Foley. She was sitting on his lap. You know what I think? She’s lap half. Boy, am I hungry. Gee, how I’d love to sit down at that round table and eat a square meal.” (22:58)
  • Ms. Stilwell: “Well, why don’t you do something about getting the Queen back? What are you, a man or a mouse?”
  • Red Skelton: “I don't know, but I'm pretty fond of cheese.” (23:19)
  • Red Skelton: “Get my coat. The one that has the 24 sleeves in it…my coat of arms.” (24:32)

9. Musical Close: “Penny Serenade”

Timestamps: 26:22 – 29:12

• Red Foley and the Avalon Chorus perform “Penny Serenade,” a sentimental piece characteristic of the 1930s, with the announcer tying the song’s theme to the value of Avalon cigarettes.
• Lyrics reinforce the show’s gentle, nostalgic feeling and highlight Foley’s vocal talents.

10. Closing Slogans and Sign-Off

Timestamps: 29:12 – end

• Standard tightly-woven closing with familiar cigarette slogans, a closing word from Red Skelton, and Del King’s signature goodnight.
• Notable Quote:
  • Announcer: “You’d never guess, but Avalons cost only $0.10 plus city or state tax.” (29:44)
  • Red Skelton: “So why not always reval on with Avalon?” (29:34)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Mustaches:
  Del King: “He has a mustache that's so big, every time he sneezes it cracks like a whip.” (00:47)

• On Bargains:
  Red Skelton: “I wanted one of those English eaton suits for $35, but the guy sold me one that was moth eaton for $7.50.” (01:15)

• On Losing Money:
  Ms. Stilwell: “He takes your pencil, shows you nothing, and you give him $200. Don't you realize the man is stealing from you?” (14:45)

• King Arthur Skit:
  Red Skelton: “Get my coat. The one that has the 24 sleeves in it…my coat of arms.” (24:32)
  Red Skelton: “I don’t know, but I’m pretty fond of cheese.” (23:19)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Opening and Avalon plug: 00:04 – 01:44
• Florida jokes and mustaches: 01:44 – 03:15
• Musical number: 03:15 – 05:10
• Park-to-cigarette segue: 05:16 – 07:11
• Red Foley musical feature: 07:29 – 09:37
• The “Thousand Dollars” comedy plot: 09:37 – 15:12
• "The Masquerade Is Over" song: 15:25 – 17:45
• Avalon Cigarette full pitch: 17:51 – 21:04
• "King Arthur Skelton" medieval skit: 21:04 – 26:22
• "Penny Serenade" musical finish: 26:22 – 29:12
• Closing signature and slogans: 29:12 – end

Tone and Style

The episode oozes the playful irreverence and pun-driven humor characteristic of late 1930s radio comedy, making heavy use of musical numbers and extended, irreverently blended sponsor tie-ins. Red Skelton's down-to-earth persona, Ms. Stilwell’s quick retorts, and Del King's avuncular charm keep the episode brisk and engaging, even for modern listeners.

Summary for New Listeners:
If you haven’t heard "Avalon Time: The Thousand Dollars," expect a mix of irrepressible Red Skelton standup, catchy period songs, absurd skits, and clever sponsor integration. The humor bounces from topical references to pure vaudeville wordplay, all wrapped in a cheerful, old-time radio atmosphere.