Baby Snooks 19xx.xx.xx Haunted House

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – Baby Snooks: Haunted House (October 3, 2025)

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Episode Overview

In this episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, we’re transported back to the Golden Age of Radio with a classic "Baby Snooks" comedy sketch. Centered around Snooks and her beleaguered father, the episode finds the duo en route to a supposedly haunted family house in the mountains. Their comic misadventures—complete with misunderstandings, mischievous wordplay, and spooky shenanigans—showcase the timeless intergenerational humor that made "Baby Snooks" a radio favorite. The tone is warm, witty, and playful, with banter that highlights both Snooks’s childlike innocence and her father’s exasperated affection.

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Key Discussion Points & Segment Breakdown

1. Crossword Puzzles and Wordplay (00:03-01:20)

• Snooks & Daddy’s Crossword Banter: Snooks struggles with her crossword and enlists her father's help, leading to a string of answers that double as silly wordplay when said quickly:
  • Memorable Moment:
    • Snooks: “Say 'em fast, Daddy.”
      Daddy: “Smack, swell, how's coffee, time.”
      (01:07)
• The bit is classic Snooks—literal-minded, quick with questions, and always tripping up her father with unintended puns.

2. Train Station Antics (01:20-05:13)

• Setting the Scene: At a train station, Daddy reveals they're headed to Uncle Camembert’s (recently deceased) mountain house, bequeathed to Daddy.
• Snooks’s Literal Interpretations:
  • She mistakes “well-heeled” (meaning wealthy) for a reference to Uncle Camembert’s shoes.
  • Hearing a “milk train,” she innocently asks if the man is “milking it” and says she wants some milk.
  • Quote:
    • Snooks: “Is he milking it?”
      Daddy (dry): “Yeah, he’s milking it.” (03:18)
• A Phone Call to Dick Powell: Snooks is sent to call Dick Powell and hilariously miscommunicates the family's situation.

3. Arrival in the Mountains & The Haunted Carriage Ride (05:13-08:44)

• The Gloomy Journey:
  • They arrive in the mountains as it gets dark and seek a ride from a mysterious man with a horse and buggy.
  • Ominous Foreboding:
    • The driver reacts oddly when they mention the old house:
      • Driver (ominous): “Wouldn’t stay there if I was you. You believe in ghosts?” (07:17)
    • Daddy: “Nonsense!”
• Haunted House Tropes:
  • The tone grows playfully spooky, with the driver warning them of ghosts, much to Snooks’ concern and Daddy’s skepticism.
  • Quote:
    • Snooks (curious): “Is there votes there, Daddy?” (07:28)
    • Daddy (correcting): “No, he said ghosts.”

4. Inside the House: Darkness, Fears, and Candlelit Comedy (08:44-10:49)

• Exploring the Creepy House:
  • They enter the dark, electricity-less house, relying on candles for light.
  • Snooks’s Anxiety:
    • She frequently expresses a desire to go home and is spooked by a mounted moose head she mistakes for “Uncle Louie.”
  • Light Mishaps:
    • Both their candles blow out, intensifying the eerie (yet comedic) mood.

5. Settling Down: Ghost Stories and Bedtime Antics (10:49-14:06)

• Making Do for the Night:
  • Daddy makes Snooks a bed on the couch and tries to settle down on the floor.
  • Snooks’s Bedtime Antics:
    • Complaints about her toe hurting, requests for light, and pleading for a story keep her father awake.
    • Quote:
      • Snooks: “It hurts every time I pinch it.”
        Daddy: “Well, don’t pinch it. Now how can I tell if it hurts?” (11:10-11:18)
• Storytime Chaos:
  • Snooks demands a ghost story, then interrupts as Daddy attempts a deeply abbreviated version of “Jack and the Beanstalk.”
    • Snooks (interrupting): “Who was his mother? Who is mother? Jack’s mother.” (12:11-12:19)
  • Daddy tries to avoid spooking her, but Snooks claims not to be afraid.

6. The Spooky Climax and Cameo by Maxwell House (14:06-15:06)

• Imaginary Scares:
  • Daddy simulates scary noises for the story’s giant (“Thump. Thump. Thump.”), which unnerves both of them momentarily.
  • Memorable Exchange:
    • Snooks: “Are you scared, Daddy?”
      Daddy: “No, but we'll be able to listen to the last part of the Maxwell House coffee program. It'll be comforting.” (14:55-15:04)
• Resolution:
  • With the “comfort” of the radio, they settle in for sleep—another night of Snooks’s questions seemingly inevitable.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Snooks’s Innocence:
  • “I heard you tell Mommy he was well-heeled.” (02:13)
• Daddy’s Exasperation:
  • “Don’t repeat everything you hear.” (02:18)
• Literal Humor:
  • “Is he milking it?” (03:18)
• Playful Spookiness:
  • “Wouldn’t stay there if I was you. You believe in ghosts?” (07:17)
  • “I didn’t hear nothing.” (05:54)
• Endearing Bedtime Antics:
  • “It hurts every time I pinch it.” (11:10)
• Snooks’s Unstoppable Curiosity:
  • “Who was his mother? Who is mother? Jack’s mother.” (12:19)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Crossword Puzzle Comedy: 00:03 – 01:20
• At the Train Station: 01:20 – 05:13
• Mountain Ride & Haunting Warnings: 05:13 – 08:44
• Haunted House Antics: 08:44 – 10:49
• Settling In & Bedtime Stories: 10:49 – 14:06
• Scary Story Climax & Radio Comfort: 14:06 – 15:06

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Tone & Character

Lighthearted, filled with endearing misunderstandings, fast-paced repartee, and a charming blend of childlike wonder and adult frustration. The episode combines warm nostalgia with timeless family comedy, all set against the backdrop of a playfully spooky (but never truly frightening) haunted house scenario.

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For fans of classic radio comedy and playful spookiness, this episode is a delightful romp—perfect for reliving the days when families gathered together for a few laughs (and goosebumps) around the radio.

Transcript

[A]

Daddy.

[B]

Snooks. I thought you were going to sit quietly and do that crossword puzzle.

[A]

I'm stuck, Daddy.

[B]

All right, what's sticking you?

[A]

What's a five letter word for slap?

[B]

Smack.

[A]

And the five letter word for expand?

[B]

Expand?

[A]

Mm.

[B]

How about swell? Will that fit?

[A]

It's fine, Daddy. Smack and swell. Now, a three letter word. Meaning in what manner?

[B]

Let's see. That puzzle begins with H. How. How. Yes. And 29 across is scoff.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because it says to ridicule. 32 down. Devour. That's it. 14 across. Duration. That's easy. It's time. There you are. All done.

[A]

I done it quick, didn't my daddy?

[B]

You did. I gave you six words.

[A]

What?

[B]

Six words right there. Smack, swell, howl, scoff, eat and time.

[A]

Say em fast, Daddy.

[B]

Smack, swell. How's coffee? Time.

[A]

And that? Wonderful. It's not to house coffee. No, it is.

[B]

Turn on that radio, quick.

[A]

All right, Daddy.

[B]

It's a good thing I brought along this little portable radio, isn't it, Snoop?

[A]

Why?

[B]

Well, we can listen to the program while we're waiting for the train.

[A]

I don't want to go home.

[B]

Home? You drove me crazy to bring you with me. Now you want to go home?

[A]

Where are we going, Daddy?

[B]

I've told you 50 times. We're going to Uncle Camembert's house in the mountains.

[A]

Is Uncle Camembert? Want to be there?

[B]

No, the poor old codger's passed on. He's gone to a better world, I hope.

[A]

When is he coming back?

[B]

He's never coming back, Snooks. He's left this vale of tears for good.

[A]

Oh, shall we cry, Daddy?

[B]

I don't think it's necessary. He was 92 when he died and he lived a pretty full and eventful life.

[A]

Did he leave his shoes?

[B]

His shoes? I suppose so.

[A]

Look, I want to see his shoes.

[B]

What for?

[A]

I heard you tell Mommy he was well healed.

[B]

That has nothing to do with his shoes. And don't repeat everything you hear.

[A]

Well, why aren't we going to his house?

[B]

It happens to be my house now. He left it to me in his will.

[A]

You said he was going to leave you a lot of money, Daddy.

[B]

Well, I guessed wrong. Nobody got any of his money. In fact, they can't even find a trace of it.

[A]

Maybe he didn't have any.

[B]

Oh, he had plenty. There's a possibility that he stashed it away somewhere in this house. That's the main reason I'm going up there.

[A]

I'm hungry.

[B]

I'll buy you a sandwich. As soon as we get on the train.

[A]

I'm hungry. Don't talk that. What's that, Daddy?

[B]

It's a train whistle.

[A]

I want one.

[B]

Oh, don't be ridiculous. You can't have a train whistle.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because you can't. Look across the track there. See the man working under the train?

[A]

Is it our train?

[B]

No, that's a milk train.

[A]

Is he milking it?

[B]

Yeah, he's milking it.

[A]

I want some milk.

[B]

Listen, I'll tell you what. I have to go to the ticket office and find out if we can get a train back tonight. You go over to that telephone and call Dick Powell. Tell him we won't be at the studio.

[A]

All right. What's the number?

[B]

Hollywood 6, 1, 6, 1. Dial H then O, then 6. Oh, I'll get it, Dick. Hello?

[A]

Hello, is Mr. Powell there?

[B]

Just a minute. It's for you, Dick. I think it's Snooks. I wonder what she wants. Well, I'll kid her a little. Hello? This is the world's greatest singer talking.

[A]

Excuse me, I got the wrong number.

[B]

Wait a minute. This is Dick Powell. What's the matter?

[A]

We're at the railroad station and we're going to take a train.

[B]

What for?

[A]

To see where Uncle Camavest dashed his heels.

[B]

What?

[A]

He's gone to a better world. And you don't have to cry because nobody got any money. We're gonna go on the train when the man gets through milking it. And we ain't coming back for nine years until I pop that fork.

[B]

Hello. Give me that fork. Hello. Hello, Daddy. What's he talking about? Oh, my Uncle Camembert will meet his house in the mountains. Holy smoke. Here's my train. I can't talk anymore, Dick. You'll hear from us later. Goodbye. Goodbye. What's up, Dick? I don't know. Seems they're going to spend the night at his Uncle Camerbert's house in the mountains. Well, Snooks, here we are.

[A]

Where's Uncle Camembert's house?

[B]

Oh, it's about a quarter of a mile down the road. Pretty gloomy here, isn't it?

[A]

Home and go home.

[B]

We'll have to stay at the house overnight.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because there are no more trains until morning. Oh, I sure hate to walk to the house. I wish there was something. Say, there's a man with a horse and buggy.

[A]

Where?

[B]

Coming down the road. Maybe he'll give us a lift. Hello there.

[A]

Hello, Sally.

[B]

Can you give us a lift, brother?

[A]

You bet. Climb. Bored, brother?

[B]

Thanks, brother.

[A]

Is he Your brother, Daddy, No.

[B]

Come on, I'll help you. Get up on the wagon. Put the radio down gently. All right, Snooks, put your foot in the spoke.

[A]

What spoke?

[B]

The wheel spoke.

[A]

I didn't hear nothing.

[B]

Oh. Step on that wheel. Come on up there.

[A]

Are you set, sister? I'm set, brother. Giddy up, Telly. It's getting dark, Daddy.

[B]

Well, we'll be there in a minute.

[A]

Hey, where be you heading first?

[B]

The old Higgins house.

[A]

Oh, Sally, did you say the Higgins house?

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Old Camemberts, please.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Giddy up, Sally. What's the matter, Daddy?

[B]

I don't know. He gave us a very queer look. Say, brother, I'm the new owner of the house. Camembert was my uncle.

[A]

Savvy? You say you own the house?

[B]

Yes, My uncle. My uncle willed it to me.

[A]

Oh, I'm Sir. Yes. Get up, sir. Can hear you. Sad me, Daddy.

[B]

Anything wrong with the house, neighbor? Anything? There isn't anything in the rain. Oh. Well, there's no train back this evening and we have to spend the night there.

[A]

Eh?

[B]

I say we have to spend the night there.

[A]

Whoa, Sally. Whoa, Sally.

[B]

Say, wouldn't stay there if I was you. Why not? You believe in ghosts. Nonsense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Shame to stunt the little girl's growth.

[A]

Is there votes there, Daddy?

[B]

No, he said ghosts.

[A]

What ghosts?

[B]

Ghosts are supposed to be supernatural beings. Spirit bodies of departed persons. It's a lot of twaddle.

[A]

Is it?

[B]

Why, certainly. You know, I heard a good joke about ghosts yesterday. Two ghosts were sitting on a bed when suddenly they heard a noise.

[A]

That's awful funny, Daddy.

[B]

I'm not finished yet.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Suddenly they heard a noise. And one ghost turned to the other and said, do you believe in ghosts?

[A]

Hey. Here. Here's the house.

[B]

Oh. Bleak looking place, isn't it? Well, come on, cooks. Don't forget the radio.

[A]

I got it, Daddy.

[B]

There we are. Thanks a lot, brother. Shame to stunt the little girl's grill. Well, let's go in.

[A]

Put the lights on, Daddy.

[B]

Just a second. I'll light a match and find the switch. Hmm. No electricity here.

[A]

What's that, Daddy?

[B]

Just the wind.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Blew the door shut. There's a couple of candles on that sideboard. You bring them over here.

[A]

I want to go home.

[B]

Don't be silly. As soon as I light these candles, you'll feel better. There.

[A]

Let me haul one.

[B]

Okay. We won't be able to see much tonight. Let's find the bedroom and go to sleep. Follow me.

[A]

Daddy.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Uncle Louie's here.

[B]

Where?

[A]

In that room.

[B]

What are you talking about? Where's Uncle Louie?

[A]

There he is, looking through the hole in the wall.

[B]

That's not Uncle Louie. That's a moose head. Come on, let's find the bedroom. This broken down joint gives me the creeps. Don't let your candle go out.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because I haven't got any more matches. Now, come on.

[A]

Daddy, what is it? The wind blew my candle out.

[B]

I told you there'll be.

[A]

Oops.

[B]

Not mine too. Now we haven't got a light at all. I'll just stand still a few seconds until your eyes become accustomed to the darkness. Stop poking me in the leg, snooks.

[A]

Why? Over there.

[B]

Oh, it's just the corner of this table. Stand where you are. I'll come and get you. Here, take my hand. There's a door here. Follow me. Let me feel around a minute. Oh, here's a couch. You lie down, Shooks. I'll cover you with my coat.

[A]

Where are you going to sleep, Daddy?

[B]

I'll rest on the floor. Now try and go right to sleep. Good night.

[A]

Good night. Daddy.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

My toe hates.

[B]

Which toe?

[A]

The honest one. It hurts me.

[B]

What's the matter with it?

[A]

It hurts every time I pinch it. Well, don't pinch it. Now, how can I tell if it hurts?

[B]

Go to sleep.

[A]

Come. Dead. Put the lights on.

[B]

There aren't any lights here and I have no matches. I'll just go to sleep. I'm here with you.

[A]

Put on the radio.

[B]

No. Go to sleep. Sorry I ever came to this musty joint.

[A]

Daddy.

[B]

What do you want?

[A]

Tell me your story. No. Tell me a ghost story.

[B]

Aye. Yeah, that'd be just the thing for a night like this.

[A]

Then tell me about Jack and the rings.

[B]

Oh, all right. I'll tell it quickly and no interruptions. Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Jack. He lived with just Jack. He lived with his mother. And they were very poor. But she was always good to him.

[A]

Good to whole Daddy.

[B]

Good to Jack, she was.

[A]

Who was his mother? Who is mother? Jack's mother.

[B]

Now, don't interrupt me anymore or I won't face the story.

[A]

Oh, Finn, if you.

[B]

Dad. All right. There was something with a cow, then something else. And then somehow he got some beans for the cow.

[A]

I think the cow ate the beans. No, the beans ate the cow.

[B]

Nobody ate anything.

[A]

Why keep quiet? I like it better when we're talking. Daddy.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes. Wish we had a light here.

[A]

Yeah, I wish we did.

[B]

Anyhow, when Jack brought home the beans, his mother threw them out of the window. And in the morning, when Jack woke up, he saw snows.

[A]

Yes, Daddy.

[B]

Okay. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.

[A]

What did Jack see, Daddy?

[B]

Oh, a great big, beautiful. He climbed up the beanstalk and found himself in a strange land. Pretty soon, he came to the castle of a giant. And I'll tell the rest of the story tomorrow morning.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Well, because this part, the story about the giant, is pretty scary. It might make you have unpleasant dreams. No. All right. But if you get scared, don't blame me. So Jack broke into the giant's castle and found himself in a damp, dark dungeon. The place was full of cobwebs and weird little animals and bats. See?

[A]

You're afraid. No, I ain't. I like it.

[B]

And why did you cry?

[A]

I started to laugh, but I remembered my poem, Daddy.

[B]

All right. Well, Jack felt around the walls, and he was shaking from head to foot. Pretty soon, from out of the blackness, he heard it. Terrible sound. Thump. Thump. Thump. Cold sweat broke out on Stokes. Did you hear anything when I said thump? Maybe. Maybe you'd better turn on the radio.

[A]

Are you scared, Daddy?

[B]

I know, but we'll be able to listen to the last part of the Maxwell House coffee program. It'll be comforting.

[A]

I want to go to sleep.

[B]

Okay.