Benny Hill Time 1964-02-23 Woman On The Street Interview

Summary

Podcast Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Benny Hill Time 1964-02-23 Woman On The Street Interview
Release Date: March 18, 2025
Host/Author: Harolds Old Time Radio
Description: Relive the charm of the Golden Age of Radio with classic shows that once captivated families before the advent of television. This episode features Benny Hill, Jan Waters, Peter Vernon, Patricia Hayes, Frank Thornton, the Michael Sam Singers, and the BBC Review Orchestra conducted by Malcolm Lockyer.

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Introduction

The episode opens with the lively introduction of Benny Hill Time, setting the stage for an engaging blend of interviews, comedic skits, musical performances, and theatrical segments. The host, Benny Hill, alongside his co-stars Jan Waters, Peter Vernon, Patricia Hayes, Frank Thornton, and musical accompaniment by the Michael Sam Singers and the BBC Review Orchestra, orchestrates a delightful journey through radio entertainment reminiscent of the 1960s.

Segment 1: Woman On The Street Interview

[00:24 - 03:00]

The episode kicks off with Benny Hill introducing the cast members and setting the tone for a new series focused on understanding audience expectations from radio shows. Jan Waters leads a “Woman on the Street” interview, aiming to gauge listeners’ preferences.

Key Discussions:

• Radio Preferences: Jan Waters and Benny Hill engage a young lady on a suburban high street to discuss her radio habits.
• Favorite Programs: The interviewee mentions enjoying “modern jazz” and a documentary about Holloway Prison, highlighting the diverse content that British radio offers.

Notable Quotes:

• Jan Waters: “[...] it might be a good idea to go out and find out just what people really expect from a radio show.” [00:44]
• Benny Hill: “Tell me, do you like the radio?” [01:06]
• Jan Waters: “I like that documentary program last week about Holloway prison.” [02:08]

Segment 2: Playmate of the Week

[04:10 - 07:00]

Transitioning back to the studio, Jan Waters introduces the "playmate of the week," leading into a comedic interplay between the characters. The scene involves Peter Vernon’s character, Harry, who humorously complains about a twisted belt, showcasing the show's signature slapstick humor.

Key Discussions:

• Imaginative Complaints: The characters engage in a playful banter about Harry’s imagined injuries, blending humor with relatable family dynamics.
• Medical Mishaps: Frank Thornton’s portrayal of the doctor adds to the comedy as he attempts to "treat" Harry’s nonexistent ailments.

Notable Quotes:

• Peter Vernon: “Oh, doctor, I am sorry to drag you out.” [06:25]
• Jan Waters: “That’s a change anyway, isn’t it? It’s his imagination.” [06:37]
• Frank Thornton: “As I always say, Mrs. Vernon, it’s all in the mind.” [10:38]

Segment 3: Musical Interlude with Michael Sam Singers

[04:22 - 06:15]

The Michael Sam Singers perform “Pick Yourself Up,” providing a melodic interlude that contrasts with the comedic skits. The song emphasizes themes of resilience and optimism, adding emotional depth to the episode.

Notable Lyrics:

• Michael Sam Singers: “When my kid is on the ground, I pick myself up. Dress myself up to start all over again.” [11:15]

Segment 4: Benny Go Round

[14:09 - 18:26]

Peter Vernon introduces "Benny Go Round," a comedic take on the film industry. The segment parodies Hollywood productions, featuring a mock discussion about the fictional film "NBG's Death of a Salesman."

Key Discussions:

• Fake Film Promotions: The dialogue humorously critiques Hollywood tropes and the making of exaggerated films.
• Character Interactions: The characters engage in witty exchanges about their roles and the absurdity of certain plotlines.

Notable Quotes:

• Peter Vernon: “The latest film to arrive From Hollywood is NBG's death of a Salesman, which is, as you may have guessed, about a salesman and the sun he worships.” [14:09]
• Frank Thornton: “He pulled out a plum. Do you understand, Wilbur? He pulled out a plum.” [16:46]

Segment 5: Inside Film News

[18:37 - 25:01]

In "Inside Film News," Jan Waters delivers spoof film news, announcing fictitious movies with humorous titles and plots. Highlights include "A Dracula Meets the Blood Beast" and a sequel titled "Grim World of the Brothers Wonder."

Key Discussions:

• Parody Films: The segment mocks typical film announcements, blending absurdity with satire.
• International Cinema: References to Hollywood and international casts add to the comedic effect.

Notable Quotes:

• Jan Waters: “From Hollywood comes news of Walt Disney's new film. It's a sequel to the Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm, and it's called the Grim World of the Brothers Wonder.” [18:37]
• Jan Waters: “This film has been made with an eye on the international market and has a cast from all over the world.” [20:50]

Segment 6: Interview with Melvin Cruddy

[19:16 - 24:35]

Benny Hill interviews popular actor Melvin Cruddy, discussing his illustrious career and latest projects. Cruddy humorously details his involvement in various films, including his self-produced work "Glorious Island Heritage of England."

Key Discussions:

• Actor’s Career: Melvin Cruddy recounts his beginnings in theater and transition to Hollywood.
• Latest Film: He elaborates on his multifaceted role in producing, directing, and starring in his new film, highlighting his dedication and comedic undertones.

Notable Quotes:

• Melvin Cruddy: “I financed it, I produced it, directed it, and I've starred in it. What's it called? I'm calling it this Glorious Island Heritage of England.” [20:26]
• Melvin Cruddy: “I have a great belief in the future of this great and wonderful England of ours.” [20:30]

Segment 7: Clip from "Glorious Island Heritage of England"

[20:50 - 23:10]

A humorous excerpt from Melvin Cruddy’s latest film is presented, featuring exaggerated British accents and mock historical dialogues. The clip parodies historical dramas with over-the-top characters and absurd scenarios, maintaining the show’s comedic essence.

Key Discussions:

• Mock Historical Scenes: The dialogue satirizes historical figures and events, blending fiction with comedy.
• Character Interactions: The exaggerated behavior of characters like the Earl of Leicester and the King of Spain adds to the humor.

Notable Quotes:

• Jan Waters: “Will young Wilbur ever lose his parental ties? Go and see NBG's death of a Salesman.” [18:26]
• Frank Thornton: “All those things they say about me and my golden hind are greatly exaggerated.” [22:02]

Segment 8: Final Musical Performance

[23:39 - 25:01]

The Michael Sam Singers return for a final musical number, infusing the episode with lively tunes and humorous lyrics. Their performance of “Pick Yourself Up” reinforces the show’s blend of music and comedy.

Notable Lyrics:

• Michael Sam Singers: “Last week at the mission hall my cousin Fred said I have often heard it said that you save wicked women. Now, if that is right, then save me a couple for Saturday night.” [24:35]

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Benny Hill Time concluding the show, acknowledging the contributions of the cast and musical performers. The final moments feature a recap of the episode’s highlights, leaving listeners with a nostalgic appreciation for the Golden Age of Radio entertainment.

Notable Quotes:

• Benny Hill: “That was Benny Hill Time with the BBC Review Orchestra, conducted by Malcolm Lockyer.” [25:33]
• Jan Waters: “Benny Hill Time was written by Benny Hill and produced by John.” [25:44]

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Key Takeaways and Insights

1. Nostalgic Entertainment: The episode masterfully recreates the essence of 1960s radio shows, blending comedy, interviews, and music to evoke a sense of nostalgia.
2. Humorous Parodies: Through segments like "Benny Go Round" and "Inside Film News," the show parodies contemporary culture and the film industry, providing sharp social commentary wrapped in humor.
3. Engaging Performances: The interplay between cast members and the musical interludes by the Michael Sam Singers create a dynamic and engaging listening experience.
4. Character-Driven Comedy: Characters like Harry and Melvin Cruddy add depth and continuity, making the comedy relatable and enduring.

Conclusion

"Benny Hill Time 1964-02-23 Woman On The Street Interview" is a quintessential example of classic radio entertainment. With its seamless integration of interviews, comedic sketches, and musical performances, the episode offers a comprehensive glimpse into the Golden Age of Radio. Whether you’re a longtime fan or new to vintage radio shows, this episode provides an enriching and entertaining experience that captures the timeless charm of Benny Hill and his talented ensemble.

Transcript

[Benny Hill]

Yes, it's Benny Hill time with Jan Waters, Peter Vernon, Patricia Hayes, Frank Thornton, the Michael Sam Singers, and the BBC Review orchest conducted by Malcolm Lockyer. It's also time for the lad himself, Benny Hill.

[Jan Waters]

Thank you very much indeed, ladies and gentlemen. As we're starting a new series today, we thought it might be a good idea to go out and find out just what people really expect from a radio show. So, armed with a tape recorder, we went out into a suburban high street.

[Benny Hill]

I see, coming towards me now, a very attractive young lady. Excuse me, miss.

[Patricia Hayes]

What is it?

[Benny Hill]

Tell me, do you like the radio?

[Jan Waters]

What?

[Benny Hill]

What do you think of radio?

[Jan Waters]

Oh, the wireless. We got one, I think.

[Benny Hill]

What, do you listen to it?

[Jan Waters]

What else can you do with it? You know.

[Benny Hill]

Well, tell me something. Has it given you an added interest in anything?

[Jan Waters]

Well, I can't offer, you know. It was one on last week. Was it?

[Benny Hill]

Verdict?

[Jan Waters]

No, it was all right. Well, now, did it give you an additional added interest?

[Benny Hill]

How did it give you this interest?

[Jan Waters]

Well, like when it was like on at the Convent Garden. I got a couple of tickets. That was the best night me and my boyfriend ever had.

[Benny Hill]

Oh, so you enjoyed seeing it as well?

[Jan Waters]

No, we didn't go. I gave the tickets to my mum and dad. See? Best night we've ever had.

[Frank Thornton]

Honestly.

[Benny Hill]

Well, I say, just a minute.

[Jan Waters]

Yeah, What. What's that?

[Benny Hill]

I wanted to ask you if you listen very often to the wireless.

[Jan Waters]

Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, all the time.

[Frank Thornton]

Good.

[Benny Hill]

What programs do you like best?

[Jan Waters]

Well, modern jazz.

[Benny Hill]

Modern jazz.

[Jan Waters]

I like that documentary program last week about Holloway prison.

[Frank Thornton]

That was good.

[Jan Waters]

I was well acted out, wasn't it?

[Frank Thornton]

It was.

[Jan Waters]

My sister was in it.

[Benny Hill]

What, the documentary program?

[Jan Waters]

No, Holloway Prison. What else do I like?

[Benny Hill]

Do you like a book at bedtime?

[Jan Waters]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of book at bedtime. Yeah.

[Benny Hill]

Which one did you like best?

[Jan Waters]

I'll think Sadie, the Soho stripper.

[Benny Hill]

Sadie, the Soho stripper. But that's not a big fee program.

[Jan Waters]

No, but it's on my dad's bookshelf. Excuse me, Roger.

[Benny Hill]

This gentleman looks as if he might be foreign. I beg your pardon, sir.

[Jan Waters]

What matter, please?

[Benny Hill]

Ah, I can tell by your accent you don't come from around here.

[Jan Waters]

No, I come from Rosenstone.

[Patricia Hayes]

Oh.

[Benny Hill]

Now, tell me, sir, what do you think of British radio program?

[Jan Waters]

I'll tell you. You know, there was only ever one program on British radio. You know what it was, was Toy Town. Toy Town. You know why? Cause Larry the Lamb. That boy. Larry was a boy. That boy got courage, you know. Courage. You know what happened? One week there is the dark song where Mr. Goosey shot Steal a bag of chocolate. Comes here. Mr. Policeman says, who stole his chocolates? Dennis, he stole the chocolates. He don't say nothing.

[Patricia Hayes]

Don't say nothing.

[Jan Waters]

Shlamille. But Larry, what courage that boy got. He said Mr. Policeman hunts steal the chocolates. He don't steal them. But he stands there, this little lamp, and he says, I'm steal the chocolate. I tell you, that boy got courage. You know that show Toy Town do not illustrate the courage of the simple British people than anything else on the radio.

[Benny Hill]

Yes, but what about the other programs? Haven't you learned about the British way of life from, say, any questions? Comments today in Parliament?

[Jan Waters]

Nah. Don't listen to the children's program.

[Benny Hill]

Thank you. Well, now we return you to the studio.

[Jan Waters]

And back in the studio, it's time to meet our own playmate of the week, Jan Daughter.

[Michael Sam Singers]

Falling in love with love is falling for make believe Falling in love with love is playing the fool Caring too much is such a juvenile fancy playing too Trust is just for children.

[Jan Waters]

I.

[Michael Sam Singers]

Fell in love with love One night When the moon was I was unwise with eyes unable to see I fell in love with love with love and I fell in love in love one night With a new world I was the one who died My name was Love with love with love with me.

[Jan Waters]

Most accidents, we're told, occur in the home. And when one does occur, how nice it is to have a friend to.

[Benny Hill]

Call and comfort you.

[Peter Vernon]

Oh, doctor, I am sorry to drag you out. Oh, hello, Harry. I thought it was the doctor.

[Jan Waters]

Oh, what's up?

[Peter Vernon]

He's my little boy, Lofty.

[Patricia Hayes]

Yay.

[Peter Vernon]

Poor Lane.

[Jan Waters]

What's up with him then?

[Peter Vernon]

I think he's twisted his belt.

[Jan Waters]

That's a change anyway, isn't it? It's his imagination.

[Peter Vernon]

Perhaps you better come in, Harry.

[Jan Waters]

Hello, Elsie.

[Peter Vernon]

Hello, Harry.

[Jan Waters]

Your brother been in the wars then, eh?

[Peter Vernon]

Yeah.

[Frank Thornton]

Hello, Harry.

[Patricia Hayes]

Hello there, Lotly boy.

[Jan Waters]

What's the trouble then?

[Benny Hill]

Why, it's me arm. I think I've wrenched it.

[Jan Waters]

Your imagination, mate. It's all in the mind, see, Lofty? All in the mind. Perhaps I'd better have a look at it. Does that hurt?

[Benny Hill]

No. Does that hurt? No.

[Jan Waters]

Well, there's nothing wrong with that arm.

[Benny Hill]

Oh, no, it's the other one that hurts.

[Jan Waters]

I'll roll your sleeve up. Oh, yeah. That's nasty, innit? You better have a turn cock than that.

[Peter Vernon]

A what?

[Frank Thornton]

It's French.

[Jan Waters]

What I call a turncock. You know, I tie a Bit of old cloth around it to top the blood flow, see?

[Peter Vernon]

Oh, here then you better have Elsie's old sleep. Oh, Mum, really. It's all right, it's clean. It's not that, Mum. It's not nice.

[Jan Waters]

She thinks it'll give me ideas.

[Peter Vernon]

Can't give you any ideas you don't have already. Elsie, don't you speak to Harry like that. I'm sure Harry's not like that at all. Harry's a nice, quiet, clean minded boy. Oh, there you are then, I think.

[Jan Waters]

Eh? That ain't the one you had on last, soldier. I must not think. There we are. Put your finger there. There we are.

[Benny Hill]

That'll hold it, Harry. Yeah, I got me finger stuck in it.

[Jan Waters]

Well, I can't undo it now, mate. I mean it's a granny knot. It's like ages to undo that. You just have to wait till the doctor gets in, won't you? How'd he do it?

[Peter Vernon]

Getting his supper ready? Yeah, he was opening a tin of salmon.

[Jan Waters]

Oh, salmon, eh? I like tin salmon. I like ordinary salmon and all, but it's not like the real thing is it's not like tinned, you know. No, I mean like tin, like keeps all the juices in, doesn't it? When did he like to do it? Before he opened it or after?

[Peter Vernon]

Well, it was sort of during.

[Jan Waters]

Ah, would you like me to finish opening it for him then?

[Peter Vernon]

Oh, Harry, that is kind of you. Here then. And there's a pin outlet.

[Jan Waters]

There we are. Got a plate?

[Peter Vernon]

Yes. Here.

[Malcolm Lockyer]

We are.

[Jan Waters]

Lovely.

[Benny Hill]

I can't eat it now, Harry, I got me fingers stuck.

[Jan Waters]

I never thought of that. Oh dear. Oh Lord. What we going to do now then? You better not leave it, it might go off.

[Peter Vernon]

Have you had your tea, Harry?

[Benny Hill]

That's funny you should say that.

[Jan Waters]

No, I haven't.

[Peter Vernon]

Well, you better have it then. Oh, that'll be the doctor now. Come in, Doctor.

[Frank Thornton]

Ah, thank you, Mrs. Vernon.

[Peter Vernon]

It's my boy, it's his home.

[Benny Hill]

Morning, Doctor.

[Frank Thornton]

Oh, now let's see.

[Jan Waters]

I better look at it, Doctor, but I'd like to set an opinion now that you're here. Personally, I think it's his imagination. I'll say. It's all in the mind, innit?

[Frank Thornton]

You seem to know an awful lot about it.

[Jan Waters]

Well, I mean, my brother was at medical school.

[Frank Thornton]

What was he studying?

[Jan Waters]

He was studying him, actually.

[Frank Thornton]

Tell me, does that hurt?

[Jan Waters]

Yeah, it does. Look, he's hardly touched. Yeah, it's all in the mine, innit Doc? Eh? Oh, that bruise there, look, don't take us to that bruise that's been here for a week. That bruise, That's. I'd ignore that. Don't take note of that. That's a trap.

[Peter Vernon]

That's a trap.

[Frank Thornton]

Then why don't you shut yours? I was only trying to help. I think we better have his shirt off.

[Peter Vernon]

Elsie, you better go to your room. Okay, Mum.

[Jan Waters]

Here's that. Look, Lofty, forget about it. It won't hurt. That's why I keep telling you. It's all in a mind.

[Frank Thornton]

Nasty. I think I shall have to give him a local anesthetic.

[Jan Waters]

You're going to give him gas, then?

[Benny Hill]

Gas?

[Frank Thornton]

You can't have gas with a local anesthetic.

[Jan Waters]

Why not? We've got a local gas company.

[Frank Thornton]

I'm simply going to inject this hypodermic into his arm. Now, here we go in with a needle. And slowly, slowly I press the valve.

[Peter Vernon]

Oh, dear. What's happened to Lofty? Is Lofty all right? It ain't Lofty, Larvy Clari.

[Malcolm Lockyer]

He's fainted.

[Frank Thornton]

As I always say, Mrs. Vernon, it's all in the mind.

[Jan Waters]

Well, now, everyone likes a drop of jolly good harmony singing. But here are the Michael Sam singers anyway. And today they brought along their version of pick yourself up.

[Benny Hill]

1, 2.

[Jan Waters]

1, 2, 3, 4.

[Malcolm Lockyer]

When my kid is on the ground, I pick myself up. Dress myself up to start all over again. Slow. Search your confidence, it gets ripped. Be grateful for a pleasant trip. And pick it up, up and duck it up. Often things start all over again. Just like a soul inspired. Till the bad velocity is won. You may be sick and tired, but you'll be a man like. On to rise again for Victor.

[Benny Hill]

Dump up.

[Malcolm Lockyer]

Dump to jump up. To start all over again. Right.

[Benny Hill]

1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4.

[Malcolm Lockyer]

Again. Don't you ever lose your confidence. And you just went up. But if you felt up down. You don't want to start all over again. You were insane. Just like you inspired. But I will have the day. Three months. You may be sick and tired, but you're going to have my son. You can have the same as.

[Jan Waters]

Don't you give him.

[Malcolm Lockyer]

Just you have a big rib.

[Jan Waters]

Time for another edition of Benny Go Round.

[Benny Hill]

And here to introduce it is Peter Vague. Hello again. The latest film to arrive From Hollywood is NBG's death of a Salesman, which is, as you may have guessed, about a salesman and the sun he worships. The son, of course, is played by talented young Audie H.

[Peter Vernon]

Is that you, Harry?

[Frank Thornton]

Hello, Martha. I'm home again.

[Peter Vernon]

I'm so glad, Harry.

[Frank Thornton]

How Was the trip wonderful, Martha? Wonderful. Just wonderful. Say, guess who I saw in Philadelphia?

[Peter Vernon]

I don't know, Harry. Who?

[Frank Thornton]

Irving Case Liffenheimer. He asked about Wilbur. He wanted to know how Wilbur was doing, and I told him. And do you know what he said?

[Peter Vernon]

No, what did he say?

[Frank Thornton]

He said, you got a fine boy there, Mr. Comstock. A real fine boy.

[Jan Waters]

Hey, Martha.

[Frank Thornton]

How is he, Wilbur, I mean.

[Peter Vernon]

Oh, he's doing fine, Harry, fine.

[Jan Waters]

Hey.

[Peter Vernon]

Hey, Ma, that's him now.

[Frank Thornton]

Yeah, that's my Wilbur. That's my boy.

[Patricia Hayes]

Hiya, Ma. Hey, hey. Who's he?

[Peter Vernon]

Wilbur? He's your father.

[Patricia Hayes]

So he's. I don't see so good. Well, I have my glasses on, you know.

[Peter Vernon]

Doesn't he look great, Harry? Hey, Wilbur, tell your PA what you learned at college last week. You know that poem, Little Jack Horner?

[Patricia Hayes]

Ah, Tima, do I have to?

[Frank Thornton]

Come on, son. Just for me.

[Patricia Hayes]

Okay. Little Jack Horner. Hey, Ma, start me off, will ya?

[Peter Vernon]

All right, then. Little Jack.

[Patricia Hayes]

Horner.

[Jan Waters]

That's my boy Zach, in a chair.

[Peter Vernon]

No, Wilbur. Think, son.

[Patricia Hayes]

Well, that's logical.

[Jan Waters]

Any.

[Patricia Hayes]

I mean, sitting in a chair.

[Peter Vernon]

Oh, Wilbur. Now then, where does the teacher make you stand when you were a naughty boy?

[Jan Waters]

He makes me stand in the corner.

[Patricia Hayes]

But what's that got to do with it?

[Peter Vernon]

Well, then, what did Little Jack Horner sit in?

[Jan Waters]

I don't know. The corner. Why don't you help me?

[Patricia Hayes]

Give me a clue or something. Danny, now try. Help me.

[Frank Thornton]

The boy's right, Martha. You should help him. Now, come on, son.

[Peter Vernon]

Well, eating his Christmas pudding. Eaten his Christmas pie.

[Patricia Hayes]

Yeah, sure, I get his Christmas pie.

[Peter Vernon]

He put in his thumb.

[Frank Thornton]

Gee, that's great, son.

[Malcolm Lockyer]

Great.

[Peter Vernon]

And pulled out his thumb. Look, Wilbur, he didn't pull his thumb out.

[Patricia Hayes]

Well, he put it in, didn't he?

[Peter Vernon]

Yes, I know thumb. But he did not pull his thumb out. He pulled out a plum. Do you understand, Wilbur? He pulled out a plum. He pulled out a plum.

[Patricia Hayes]

Okay.

[Jan Waters]

He pulled out a plum. Big deal.

[Peter Vernon]

And he said, what a good boy am. Well, I. O yes, am I. Oh, gee, Harry, don't you wish Irving K. Scholheimer could hear him?

[Patricia Hayes]

Nothing for Wheeler, no cards, Stuff like that at college, you know.

[Peter Vernon]

Yes. And you know something, Harry? Next Monday he's gonna sit for his scholarship to 28 plus.

[Frank Thornton]

Gee, that's wonderful when he's only 24. That sure is a fine college, son.

[Patricia Hayes]

Yeah, we learn all kinds of things. Come on, ask me a question.

[Peter Vernon]

All right, here's a question. Don't you think it's time you had your Tea?

[Patricia Hayes]

I got work on it once I get. Oh, my.

[Peter Vernon]

You had me going there for a minute.

[Patricia Hayes]

Look, I don't want any tea. I gotta go out.

[Peter Vernon]

Out, sir?

[Patricia Hayes]

Yeah, I'm gonna see Frieda knuckenwurst.

[Peter Vernon]

Frieda knuckenwurst? But, son, she's a girl.

[Jan Waters]

I know.

[Frank Thornton]

That's not like my boy.

[Patricia Hayes]

Been seeing her every night about three weeks now.

[Frank Thornton]

That's not like my boy.

[Patricia Hayes]

Yeah, every night I've been seeing her.

[Frank Thornton]

Oh, that's not like my boy. Last night.

[Jan Waters]

Last night?

[Frank Thornton]

Yes, son, last night.

[Patricia Hayes]

If I hadn't ducked down behind the tractor, she'd have seen me, too.

[Frank Thornton]

That's my.

[Benny Hill]

Well, will young Wilbur ever lose his parental ties? Go and see NBG's death of a Salesman. Now for Inside Film News, over to Peter. Novel.

[Jan Waters]

The news at home is that at Pine Tree Studios, Chopper Films are making yet another of the stories by Edgar Allan Flower Pots. This one stars lovely Yvonne Romain as the girl who was born in a trunk and ends up in one. This film is called A Dracula Meets the Blood Beast, and it's a musical. From Hollywood comes news of Walt Disney's new film. It's a sequel to the Wonderful World of the Brothers Grimm, and it's called the Grim World of the Brothers Wonder. More moving news next week.

[Benny Hill]

Thank you, Pete. Well, I'm delighted to tell you that standing beside me now in the studio is that popular actor, Melvin Cruddy.

[Jan Waters]

It's an honor to be able to have this intimate chat.

[Benny Hill]

Oh, no, it's an honor for me.

[Jan Waters]

That's why I meant.

[Benny Hill]

Of course, you did most of your training in the theater, didn't you?

[Jan Waters]

No. Well, of course, I'd done my basic training at Radar, and then I went straight. Straight to the Old Bailey at the Old Vic. I was playing Shakespeare, of course.

[Benny Hill]

Ah, yes. Romeo and Juliet.

[Jan Waters]

Oh, I was in both of them. And then Twelfth Night. I played a fellow in that. I forgot. What was the name of the fellow I played.

[Benny Hill]

I played a fellow. But it was in 1935 that you got your first Hollywood break, wasn't it?

[Jan Waters]

No, it was in 1936. And since then I have made dozens of sane artistic pictures. I done the Monster from up there, the shape with four heads, the Thing without a thing. And then I made View up the Flue. I had a lovely part in that full of paper. The critic said it was the most pathetic film they'd ever seen.

[Benny Hill]

Yes, I'm sure. And your latest picture?

[Jan Waters]

It's one I've made myself. I financed it I produced it, directed it, and I've starred in it. What's it called? I'm calling it this Glorious Island Heritage of England. I'm calling it that because I have a great belief in the future of this great and wonderful England of ours.

[Benny Hill]

Where was it made?

[Jan Waters]

Switzerland. Well, I had to make it there to avoid paying income taxes.

[Benny Hill]

Yes, I see. Well, now we're about to hear a clip from Melvin Croddy's new film, this Glorious Island Heritage of England. This film has been made with an eye on the international market and has a cast from all over the world. Here then, with a truly international cast is Melvyn Cruddy's Its Glorious Island Heritage of England.

[Jan Waters]

Gentlemen, Majesty, Queen Elizabeth I, Queen of all England. We'll be with you in a moment. Ah, the Earl of Leicester. How nice to see you here at court.

[Frank Thornton]

Yeah, it ain't often I get up here from my estates in Leicester, but I sure am glad to be here.

[Jan Waters]

And I see you've brought your charming daughter with you.

[Peter Vernon]

Yeah, it is for me. I'm great pleasure to accompany Ms. Mein Walter on this visit to London.

[Jan Waters]

Oh, what a charming English rose she is. To be sure she'll fill the hearts.

[Frank Thornton]

Of all our young novels, I'll warrant.

[Jan Waters]

Ah, but I see Sir Francis Jake over yonder conversing with Sir Walter Raleigh. And a sign leave of you. And what's this I hear about you singeing the King of Spain's beard, Sir Francis?

[Frank Thornton]

Oh my goodness gracious me, what a lot of nonsense.

[Jan Waters]

All these talking.

[Frank Thornton]

All those things they say about me and my golden hind are greatly exaggerated. Oh my word, dear, I give you my assurance of nothing but slanderful rumors.

[Jan Waters]

What does Sir Walter Raleigh have to say about that then? Ah, that most interesting question.

[Frank Thornton]

I think that if Blake not careful.

[Jan Waters]

King of Spain retaliate and set light to his golden hind. A Confucius say, tis clash on better part of valor. Oh, come, come, that's no way for an English sea dog to speak. But wait, here comes the Earl of Essex.

[Frank Thornton]

Senor.

[Jan Waters]

The senoritars pray silent for her Majesty. She coming right now.

[Frank Thornton]

I see.

[Jan Waters]

Your Majesty. Now you have finished your ordience as the King of Spain. The whole of England awaits your word. Tell us, I pray you, is it war with Spain or peace?

[Peter Vernon]

King of Spain him to them with folk tongue.

[Jan Waters]

No wanton peace. Keep wantum war.

[Peter Vernon]

How.

[Benny Hill]

Thank you, that was most interesting. Now, what are your plans for the future? Another international epic?

[Jan Waters]

Well, no, not exactly, but I have been offered a partner film and Although it's not a star in Rose, I should like very much to do it.

[Patricia Hayes]

Because I'm sure I could add an.

[Jan Waters]

Air of sophistication to it all. I mean, with the wealth and actionability.

[Benny Hill]

Thank you, Mr. Garrett. There you go. A new Hollywood musical has just been completed, set in the West. It's called the Good Fred. Our Good Fred runs the mission hall in Santa Fe. And he's never short of voices when it comes to joining in.

[Jan Waters]

Yes, folks, it's singing time. And I want all you good people out there to open your books at page 47 and sing after me. Now, here we go. Fred came home early one evening at Bison and he beat up a man.

[Michael Sam Singers]

He caught kissing his wife but it.

[Jan Waters]

Might have been worse because if he had come home at four he'd have beaten up me.

[Malcolm Lockyer]

Good laughing. You, captain no harm Reform good people Reform, reform. Leave a good laugh and you'll dance.

[Jan Waters]

In the harm Last Thursday even in old farmer dow so my brother Jack stealing milk from his cow he said that he's evil so my brother Jack he just turned the cow over and poured the milk back.

[Malcolm Lockyer]

Born good people reborn Reborn. Live good life in your national home.

[Jan Waters]

Last week at the mission hall my cousin Fred said I have often heard it said that you save wicked women. Now, if that is right, then save me a couple for Saturday night. Everybody.

[Malcolm Lockyer]

Sa.

[Benny Hill]

That was Benny Hill Time with the BBC Review Orchestra, conducted by Malcolm Lockyer.

[Jan Waters]

The Michael Stam Singers, Peter Vernon, Jan.

[Benny Hill]

Waters, Patricia Hayes and Frank Thornton. Benny Hill Time was written by Benny.

[Jan Waters]

Hill and produced by John.