Bickersons 47-01-12 05 Allergic To Dogs

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bickersons 47-01-12 – "05 Allergic To Dogs"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
• Description: Showcasing classic radio programs from the Golden Age of Radio, featuring beloved shows like The Shadow, Abbott & Costello, Amos & Andy, Dragnet, and more.
• Episode: Bickersons 47-01-12 – "05 Allergic To Dogs"
• Release Date: April 13, 2025

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Overview

In the episode titled "05 Allergic To Dogs", listeners are treated to another installment of the humorous marital escapades of John and Blanche Bickerson. This particular episode delves into the comedic tension arising from John's alleged allergies and Blanche's spontaneous decision to add a puppy to their household. As always, the Bickersons' interactions provide a blend of witty banter, misunderstandings, and exaggerated frustrations that highlight the quirks of married life.

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Plot Summary

The episode opens with John Bickerson complaining about his persistent headaches and insomnia, attributing them to his hectic lifestyle and poor sleep habits. Blanche Bickerson, ever the proactive wife, attempts to address John's woes by suggesting various remedies. However, the situation takes an unexpected turn when Blanche decides to bring a puppy into their home, much to John's dismay.

John's immediate reaction is one of distress, primarily due to his supposed allergy to dog hair. Blanche, unfazed by his objections, feels compelled to have a pet, leading to a series of comedic confrontations between the couple. The dialogue showcases their differing perspectives, with John exaggerating his discomfort and Blanche being determined to proceed with her plan.

As the night progresses, Blanche's insistence on keeping the puppy despite John's protests escalates the tension. John’s desperation to rid himself of the new addition leads to humorous attempts to manage the situation, including misplaced medications and frantic searches for aspirin. The episode culminates in a classic Bickersons resolution, where misunderstandings are playfully resolved, leaving listeners amused by the couple's dynamic.

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Key Discussions and Themes

1. Marital Communication:

   • The episode highlights the often comical miscommunications between spouses. Blanche's decisions are met with John's exaggerated responses, illustrating how differing viewpoints can lead to humorous conflicts.

2. Health and Exaggeration:

   • John's portrayal of his allergies serves as a satirical take on how individuals might dramatize minor inconveniences, a common theme in the Bickersons' interactions.

3. Pet Ownership:

   • The introduction of the puppy serves as the central plot device, exploring themes of responsibility, compromise, and the unpredictability of introducing a new member into the household.

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Notable Quotes

• John Bickerson ([24:22]):

  "You know I'm allergic to dog hair. They make me, you see. Get rid of that thing."

• Blanche Bickerson ([24:12]):

  "You're just a big hypochondriac. You imagine those allergies like you do your insomnia."

• John Bickerson ([26:08]):

  "I never heard of such a thing. You know, I went to bed with a splitting headache and I had to take a dozen worm pills to fall asleep."

• Blanche Bickerson ([27:06]):

  "Get it? We got it now."

• John Bickerson ([28:38]):

  "Get out of here before I hit you with a cleaver."

• Danny Thomas as Brother Amos ([28:46]):

  "Don't carry on so. If they're good for a dog, they won't hurt you. Go to sleep."

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Character Interactions

• John Bickerson: Portrayed as the beleaguered husband struggling with the disruptions in his life, John's character embodies the stereotypical male response to marital tensions—complaining and seeking immediate relief from perceived inconveniences.

• Blanche Bickerson: As the quintessential proactive wife, Blanche takes charge of domestic decisions, often clashing with John's more passive or reactive nature. Her determination to maintain household harmony through her actions, even when they contradict John's wishes, adds a rich layer to their interactions.

• Brother Amos (Danny Thomas): Serving as the external influence, Brother Amos introduces additional comedic elements by intertwining John and Blanche's issues with his own schemes, such as the raffle for a new apartment, further complicating the Bickersons' dynamic.

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Insights and Themes

1. Comedy in Everyday Life:

   • The episode masterfully weaves humor into mundane marital issues, showcasing how everyday challenges can be transformed into entertaining narratives through exaggerated character reactions and witty dialogue.

2. Exaggeration as a comedic device:

   • John's over-the-top portrayal of his allergies and frustrations serves as a comedic exaggeration, emphasizing the often trivial nature of marital disputes and the importance of perspective.

3. Dynamic of Control in Marriage:

   • Blanche's assertiveness contrasts with John's reluctance, highlighting the balancing act of control and compromise that marriages often navigate, albeit in a humorous context.

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Conclusion

"Bickersons 47-01-12 – '05 Allergic To Dogs'" delivers a quintessential Bickersons experience, blending sharp humor with relatable marital scenarios. Through the playful antagonism between John and Blanche, the episode underscores the timeless theme of love tempered by everyday frustrations. The inclusion of Brother Amos adds an extra layer of comedic complexity, ensuring that listeners are both entertained and amused by the enduring charm of the Bickersons.

For those unfamiliar with The Bickersons, this episode serves as a delightful introduction to the show's signature style—capturing the essence of early radio comedy with its sharp dialogue, memorable characters, and situational humor that remains timelessly relatable.

Transcript

[Styles MacKenzie]

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[Don Ameche]

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[Phil Rapp]

From Hollywood, it's dream time. Ladies and gentlemen, the makers of Dream Shampoo are pleased to present the fifth in a series of new programs written by Phil Rapp, produced by Carlton Allsup, and starring Don Ameche.

[Don Ameche]

Blanche, let me sleep, will you? Danny Thomas, just let him try and.

[Danny Thomas]

Put me out of this phone booth, that's all.

[Phil Rapp]

And Francis Langford, who sings.

[Francis Langford]

Zippity doo dah zippity A my, oh my, what a wonderful day Plenty of sunshine heading my way Zippity doo dah zippity a Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder it's the truth, it's actual Everything is satisfactual Zippity do dah zippity A wonderful feeling Wonderful day Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder it's the truth, it's actual Everything is satisfactional Zippity do not Symphony A wonderful feeling Wonderful day Mr. Bluebird Winging.

[Phil Rapp]

And now, here is your host for the evening, Don Amici.

[Don Ameche]

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and good evening. You can come right over here. Gail, I want you to meet Ms. Langford.

[Gail Gordon]

An unexpected pleasure.

[Carmen Dragon]

Thank you.

[Don Ameche]

Francis. This is an old school chum of mine, now a distinguished doctor, Dr. Gail Gordon.

[Carmen Dragon]

Not the eminent psychiatrist.

[Gail Gordon]

You're very kind, Ms. Langford.

[Don Ameche]

Walk down the hall with us, Francis. I've been terribly worried about Danny Thomas secluding himself in that telephone booth. And I thought Dr. Gordon might be able to help.

[Carmen Dragon]

He's so scared of a mic, he jumps when you say Romanov.

[Gail Gordon]

I beg your pardon?

[Don Ameche]

That's just a little joke, Doctor. You'll have to steel yourself to a lot of that around here. Wait, wait. On the left hand side, can you see Danny's face? Mmm.

[Gail Gordon]

Hypophrenic type, possibly manic depressive. How long has he been in that catatonic stupor?

[Don Ameche]

Just a minute, Gail. You're looking at Carmen Dragon.

[Gail Gordon]

Oh, sorry.

[Carmen Dragon]

Seems like a natural mistake to me. If you'll excuse me, I'll go back to my knitting. Did you call me down?

[Don Ameche]

Carmen, I'd like you to shake hands with Dr. Gordon. This is our musical director, Gail. Carmen Dragon.

[Gail Gordon]

Mr. Dragon.

[Danny Thomas]

Mr.

[Don Ameche]

Doctor.

[Danny Thomas]

I mean, Dr. Gordon.

[Don Ameche]

Doctor's gonna have a look at Danny Thomas. Carmen. About his mic fright, huh?

[Gail Gordon]

Mr. Dragon, so far as I can determine, there must be some psychological reason above and beyond fear of the microphone. That impels Mr. Tompkins to.

[Don Ameche]

With Danny Thomas. Danny Thomas? Yes.

[Gail Gordon]

That impels Mr. Thomas to withdraw from society and spend four weeks in a telephone.

[Don Ameche]

What's wrong with that? You think that's normal, Carmen?

[Danny Thomas]

I don't see anything wrong with it.

[Gail Gordon]

Well, I'll have to look at you later on.

[Danny Thomas]

What for, Doc?

[Don Ameche]

Carmen, Dr. Gordon is a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist?

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, are you one of those crazy doctors, Carmen?

[Don Ameche]

Go away. Go away.

[Danny Thomas]

Sure.

[Gail Gordon]

Amazing case. Definitely schizoid. Uh, musician, you said.

[Don Ameche]

That's right.

[Gail Gordon]

Wind instrument, no doubt. Has a startling effect on the cortex. Notice the shuffling gait, the lackluster eyes.

[Phil Rapp]

Girls, your hair will never lack luster if you use dream.

[Don Ameche]

Toby, why do you keep doing that?

[Phil Rapp]

I didn't mean to disturb you, Don. Just perusing my dream discourse.

[Don Ameche]

Well, just be good enough to do your perusing in the proper place. Honestly, Gail, I've never run into so.

[Gail Gordon]

Many weird people in all astounding personality. Pronounced symptoms of huxtomania coupled with Goneff's disease. I'm delighted that you asked me down here, Don.

[Don Ameche]

Well, I'm glad you like it. It's driving me nuts.

[Gail Gordon]

I can't wait to probe the psyche of that Tompkins lad.

[Don Ameche]

Thomas. Danny Thomas? Yeah.

[Gail Gordon]

I imagine he'll present a number of facets.

[Don Ameche]

Wait a minute, Gail. There goes that Reed again. You see him? He's going at the phone booth with Danny. They have some sort of weekly rendezvous.

[Gail Gordon]

Extremely interesting. I wonder if we might eavesdrop.

[Danny Thomas]

Psychiatrist, huh? Say, he's a friend of Amici's.

[Phil Rapp]

That's right, Danny. And if they try anything with you.

[Danny Thomas]

Boy, I'll Take it easy, Toby. I'll handle it. They think I'm goofy, huh?

[Phil Rapp]

You're the only sane one around here, Danny.

[Danny Thomas]

Show that doctor a thing or two. I'll give him some of his own medicine.

[Phil Rapp]

Well, I kind of thought you'd like me to tip you off.

[Danny Thomas]

You know, I appreciate it plenty, Toby. And just to show you how grateful I am. Well, go ahead, Toby.

[Phil Rapp]

Right now.

[Danny Thomas]

Certainly. Read the whole commercial to me. And don't skip a word.

[Phil Rapp]

Oh, gee, thanks. Move over a little, will you, Danny?

[Danny Thomas]

Sure. Oh, Toby, that phone's disconnected.

[Phil Rapp]

Oh, what's the difference? As long as you hear me.

[Danny Thomas]

Okay.

[Phil Rapp]

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[Danny Thomas]

Very, very nice, Toby.

[Don Ameche]

Hello, Danny. Are we interrupting anything?

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, not at all. And Toby, you may run along now. And you needn't worry about your brother's kleptomania. That's easily controlled by mild sedatives and a sharp wrapping on the knuckles with a spiked club.

[Don Ameche]

Danny.

[Danny Thomas]

And if you have any recurrence of that dream, I'll attempt to break it down. Although I imagine it was pretty broken down to begin with. Well, goodbye, Toby. Now, what can I do for you, Don?

[Don Ameche]

Well, you can come out of that.

[Gail Gordon]

Telephone booth and meet Dr. Mr. Tompkins.

[Danny Thomas]

Thomas. Thomas, sir. Danny Thomas. Yes, yes.

[Gail Gordon]

Your advice to the young man regarding his brother's affliction leads me to believe you're acquainted with psychiatry.

[Danny Thomas]

Superficially. However, I do know a great deal about kleptomania.

[Don Ameche]

Really?

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, yes. I had it when it first came out. I love to steal women's clothing. Lifted a lady's petticoat when I was knee high to a bargain counter.

[Gail Gordon]

Very precocious.

[Danny Thomas]

My first slip. Now, what's your trouble, Danny?

[Don Ameche]

What are you trying to do? Donald.

[Gail Gordon]

Donald, please. Mr. Thompson.

[Danny Thomas]

Tompkins.

[Don Ameche]

Thomas. Now listen, Danny. This gentleman is a psychiatrist, Dr. Gordon. He's here to help you.

[Danny Thomas]

Help me? Help me what?

[Don Ameche]

Help me get over these terrible phobias you've developed.

[Danny Thomas]

What phobias? I'm not afraid of anything.

[Don Ameche]

Why, you can't even face a microphone.

[Danny Thomas]

I can too, but I faint. I mean, nobody's perfect. Look at the doctor. He can't even remember my name. Calls me Mr. Tompkins. What's my name? Dr. Gerson Gordon. See? He thinks my name is Gordon.

[Don Ameche]

Daddy, his name is Gordon.

[Danny Thomas]

Why does he think I'm him? Do we look alike?

[Don Ameche]

You just called him Gerson.

[Danny Thomas]

Why?

[Don Ameche]

How do I know? I'm all confused.

[Danny Thomas]

You're in a bad way, amici. Maybe the doctor should stop it.

[Don Ameche]

You big oaf.

[Gail Gordon]

Now, now, let's not get hysterical. Please, Mr. Tompkins.

[Danny Thomas]

Ger.

[Gail Gordon]

Yes, we can approach this problem rationally. Tell me, how long is it that you've been seeing this huge silver fish floating in front of your eyes?

[Danny Thomas]

Silver fish? I never see any silver fish. Oh.

[Gail Gordon]

Oh, excuse me. I'm thinking of another patient. Very interesting case. Chap by the name of Thrip the last two years.

[Don Ameche]

Doc. Doc. We've already spread a minute and a half, and he's still got a song to do. Move it along, will you?

[Gail Gordon]

Mr. Thomas, would you submit to analysis?

[Danny Thomas]

No, no. Give me a little time, that's all. I'll come out of here as soon as I feel strong enough. There's nothing wrong with me, honest.

[Gail Gordon]

On the contrary, you're in great trouble.

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, no.

[Gail Gordon]

You have an obsessive neurosis that's rapidly becoming worse. And unless you submit to treatment, there's no telling what will happen.

[Danny Thomas]

What?

[Phil Rapp]

No.

[Danny Thomas]

Don.

[Don Ameche]

Come on out, you coward. He isn't going to hurt you. Drop your inhibitions and let him probe your psyche.

[Danny Thomas]

I will not.

[Gail Gordon]

Then I'm afraid you'll become a victim of phonophobia. An incurable condition if it isn't caught in the early stages.

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, no.

[Gail Gordon]

Yes. That ailment rapidly degenerates into Tittlebat's posture.

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, no.

[Gail Gordon]

The prime symptom of Stunk's delusion.

[Danny Thomas]

No.

[Gail Gordon]

Will you come out?

[Danny Thomas]

No, no. Go away.

[Gail Gordon]

Well, it's hopeless. The man's too resistive.

[Don Ameche]

Oh, come on, Doc. Leave him alone. I hope they take him away in a restraining sheet.

[Danny Thomas]

How do you like that? Schnung's delusion. So that's a psychiatrist. All I can say. Anyone who goes to him ought to have his head examined.

[Don Ameche]

Big oaf. Big oaf.

[Danny Thomas]

Amici calls me. I should have said.

[Gail Gordon]

I'm not even married.

[Danny Thomas]

I should have said. Then he should have said. What's being married got to do with it? Then I should have said. Well, if I'm an oaf, where's my if? I should have said I'm nuts.

[Don Ameche]

No.

[Danny Thomas]

That's what the argument was about. Big psychiatrist. What's so tough about being a psychiatrist? I know psychiatry backwards.

[Don Ameche]

I do.

[Danny Thomas]

Trochaiosis that's silly. That's not backwards. That's sideways and upside down. I could be the greatest psychiatrist in the world. Sure, why not? It's a free country. I'm a citizen. I can just see me now in my office. Oh, no, no, no. Demonstrating to a gallery of doctors in Europe.

[Phil Rapp]

And the eyes of the entire medical world were focused upon the fabulous psychiatrist Dr. Sigmund Thomas, as he began the analysis on Amici Demeter, bass player at the La Scala Opera House in Milan, Italy.

[Danny Thomas]

Now just relax, senor.

[Don Ameche]

Close your eyes. I'm a close.

[Danny Thomas]

What bothers you?

[Don Ameche]

Well, you told me I should stop playing the bass fiddler. For two weeks yesterday, I gonna back into the opera house playing at Carmen. 25 years I play Carmen, but I never did the city Opera. So I bought for myself a ticket.

[Danny Thomas]

Go on.

[Don Ameche]

You know in the second act where they sing the Toreador song?

[Danny Thomas]

Yes.

[Don Ameche]

For 25 years I played that song like this.

[Danny Thomas]

Voom.

[Gail Gordon]

Boom, boom, boom.

[Don Ameche]

What do you think comes out? I felt I'm losing my mind.

[Danny Thomas]

Just relax. Just relax, senor. You're perfectly safe in my hands. But I'll have to question you before I find the reason for your mental pall. Then I'll tell you what goes on within your mind. But don't be nervous because it's nothing at all. Do you sew up all your pockets and touch wet electric sockets and cut paper dolls for hour after hour? Do you like to sit on fire and eat razor blades and wire and put sugar in your soup to make it sour?

[Don Ameche]

Oh, sure.

[Danny Thomas]

Do you like to squeeze your finger in a door or in a ringer? Do you wear your sneakers when you're dressing formal? Do you sleep in a deep freezer? Do you think you're Julius Caesar?

[Don Ameche]

Oh, yes, you're normal.

[Danny Thomas]

Do you like your teeth to hurt you or your sweetheart to desert you? Would you give a dollar fifty for a nickel? Sure do. Do you sleep with all your hats on and your garters and your spats on? And if your barber shaved your nose off would it tickle? Sure, you think that you're a cricket do you like to pay a ticket? Would you walk the ocean here from the Dover? And do you get a cozy feeling when you're lying on the ceiling?

[Don Ameche]

Oh, yes, sir.

[Danny Thomas]

Move over. Now I know a way that may sidetrack this insanity you're on the brink of. Look, I'll say a word and you answer back with the very first word you think of. For instance, if I say yes, you say no. If I Say stop. You say go. All right, let's start. Okay, we do. Now.

[Francis Langford]

Get out.

[Danny Thomas]

You like those two guys? Now let's start up.

[Don Ameche]

Lana Turner.

[Danny Thomas]

What's Lana Turner got to do with it?

[Don Ameche]

Nothing. She's the first thing I always think of.

[Danny Thomas]

Okay, once more. Now. Old.

[Don Ameche]

New.

[Danny Thomas]

Me.

[Don Ameche]

You.

[Danny Thomas]

Red.

[Don Ameche]

Blue.

[Danny Thomas]

Foot.

[Don Ameche]

Shoe.

[Danny Thomas]

Don't.

[Don Ameche]

Spaghetti.

[Danny Thomas]

Spaghetti. What made you think of that?

[Don Ameche]

I'm hungry.

[Danny Thomas]

All right, let's try again. Horn. Hoot. Shirt. Suit. Steel Loot. Cheer root. Kill Roy. Not kill Roy. You don't get the idea. Now look, you say the words to me now, I'll show you what I mean.

[Don Ameche]

Okay?

[Danny Thomas]

Sylvia. Sydney.

[Don Ameche]

Huh?

[Danny Thomas]

Lana Turner's not my type. Okay, once more. Truth, lie, spend, buy. Cook. Cry.

[Don Ameche]

Live, die, laugh.

[Danny Thomas]

Corned beef hash. I don't like spaghetti. Now, let's continue with this analysis.

[Francis Langford]

Shut that door.

[Don Ameche]

Do you.

[Styles MacKenzie]

We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms flyer. Today's style tip. When it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com. ooh. Fierce. This has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.

[Don Ameche]

Wayfair. Every style. Every home.

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[Don Ameche]

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[Danny Thomas]

Recreation of a pleasant long vacation. Do you feel good when you get a raise in wages? Now do you speak when you are talking? Do you move when you are walking? And when you're reading? Do you like a book with pages? Do you laugh when things are funny? Do you like a lot of money? Does a brandy after dinner make you lazy? Tell me, do you like to be admired? And do you rest when you are tired?

[Don Ameche]

Oh, yes.

[Danny Thomas]

You're crazy if you think you're Julius Caesar. Your mind's A hollow shell. Cause I'm Mark Anthony and I know Caesar.

[Francis Langford]

Well.

[Danny Thomas]

Good night. Julius. Answers.

[Don Ameche]

I'm glad you left us when you did. Danny behaved horribly.

[Carmen Dragon]

Didn't the doctor help?

[Don Ameche]

No, he went home sick. Sing something to cheer me up, will you, honey? I never thought things would reach the date, I swear.

[Francis Langford]

You think I don't love you? Oh, but I do how can I show that I do? You think I don't get blue? Oh, but I do Though I get light hearted too. First I'm singing Then I'm sighing.

[Don Ameche]

Then.

[Francis Langford]

I'm flying I don't know why oh, but I do I know that it's.

[Don Ameche]

You.

[Francis Langford]

Oh, but I do I know that it's you.

[Phil Rapp]

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[Don Ameche]

Yes.

[Phil Rapp]

For lovely, lustrous hair, use Dream Shampoo with hair conditioning action. No other shampoo leaves your hair more lustrous. Yet so easy to manage. D R E N E Dreen.

[Don Ameche]

And.

[Phil Rapp]

Now, Don Amici and Francis Langford as John and Blanche Bickerson, with Danny Thomas as Brother Amos in the Honeymoon Is Over. The Bickersons have retired. As usual. Mrs. Bickerson tosses restlessly while her husband, John, insomniac extraordinary, presents this audible testimony of his constant wakefulness. Listen.

[Carmen Dragon]

For the love of heaven, what is he doing? John. John, what's the matter with you? You're making the most frightful noises. What's the matter?

[Don Ameche]

What's the matter, Blanche?

[Carmen Dragon]

Are you in pain?

[Don Ameche]

I got a terrible headache. Haven't slept a wink.

[Carmen Dragon]

You've been sleeping like a felled ox.

[Don Ameche]

Headaches?

[Carmen Dragon]

You wouldn't have such a headache if you didn't take so many cocktails before dinner. Why do you do that, John?

[Don Ameche]

Always, always do it.

[Carmen Dragon]

Why?

[Don Ameche]

No good to eat on an empty stomach. Put out the lights, Blanche.

[Carmen Dragon]

The lights are out. But how would you know anyway with that sleep shade on?

[Don Ameche]

Something's flashing in my head.

[Carmen Dragon]

Oh, take an aspirin.

[Don Ameche]

Okay?

[Gail Gordon]

I feel better already.

[Carmen Dragon]

How can you chew those things like that? Wash it down with something.

[Don Ameche]

All right.

[Carmen Dragon]

John Vickerson. You washed it down with bourbon.

[Don Ameche]

You lied to me. You got the lights on.

[Carmen Dragon]

Yes, I'm going to keep them on. Sit up. I want to talk to you.

[Don Ameche]

Please, Blanche. I can't sit up. My head will fall off. Why do you always have to talk in the middle of the night?

[Carmen Dragon]

When else can I talk to you? You come home for dinner and bury your head in the paper. Never a word out of you. And you tell me you have to go to bed early because you have insomnia.

[Don Ameche]

Well, I have. Takes me hours to fall asleep.

[Carmen Dragon]

It took you all of 30 seconds tonight.

[Don Ameche]

Well, this was a good night. Good night.

[Carmen Dragon]

John. John, I went over to see the Marvin's new baby this afternoon. It's a beautiful child. Do you know their first one is over a year old?

[Don Ameche]

I hope so.

[Carmen Dragon]

He's been walking since he was eight months.

[Don Ameche]

He must be awful tired. I am, too.

[Carmen Dragon]

Children are such a blessing. It's wonderful to watch them grow up. You'd be surprised how many childless couples are adopting children.

[Don Ameche]

I better have another aspirin. Boy, have I got a headache.

[Carmen Dragon]

John, don't you miss the patter of tiny feet around the house?

[Don Ameche]

No, I don't. Blanche. Children are wonderful, all right, but you have to be able to afford them. All this talk of adopting. Of adopting? What the devil is that?

[Carmen Dragon]

What's what?

[Don Ameche]

That put the lights on, John. Blanche, don't tell me that you went out and.

[Carmen Dragon]

It's only a dog, silly. I got a little puppy.

[Don Ameche]

A dog? What do we need dogs for? Where's the aspirin? Why did you get a dog for?

[Carmen Dragon]

Now, don't get hysterical.

[Don Ameche]

Where is that little beast? I can hear it, but I can't see it.

[Carmen Dragon]

He's right there in the bureau. I've got him in your shirt drawer.

[Don Ameche]

You put him in there with my shirt.

[Carmen Dragon]

He won't suffocate. The drawer's open.

[Don Ameche]

Blanche, you know I'm allergic to dog hair. Gives me sinus trouble. Where's the aspirin?

[Carmen Dragon]

You're just a big hypochondriac. You imagine those allergies like you do your insomnia.

[Don Ameche]

I tell you I'm allergic to dogs. They make me, you see. Get rid of that thing. He'll whine all night and keep me awake.

[Carmen Dragon]

The man said if you. He'll keep quiet if you give him one of those worm pills.

[Don Ameche]

Where are they?

[Carmen Dragon]

On the night table by your bed.

[Don Ameche]

How do you give a dog where.

[Carmen Dragon]

They'Re on the night table by your bed.

[Don Ameche]

There's nothing here except the aspirins.

[Carmen Dragon]

The aspirins are in the medicine cabinet.

[Don Ameche]

How can they be in the med blanks? What have I been eating? No wonder my headache won't go away. Why do you do these things to me? Send for a doctor.

[Carmen Dragon]

Don't carry on so. If they're good for a dog, they won't hurt you. Go to sleep.

[Don Ameche]

Go to sleep, she tells me. Here I am dying from dog poisoning. My head is splitting and she knows I'm allergic to dogs. Hides the aspirin and makes. Ah, shut up. I don't know get up so early. Never, never get another wink of sleep as. As long as.

[Carmen Dragon]

John. John. Cause I'm tight.

[Don Ameche]

Thanks.

[Carmen Dragon]

I can see how much sleep I'm gonna get tonight. We'll have to get rid of the puppy.

[Don Ameche]

Now you're talking.

[Carmen Dragon]

I want you to take him down to the dog pound.

[Don Ameche]

Okay, I'll do it on my way to work.

[Carmen Dragon]

You go in the opposite direction.

[Don Ameche]

I'll go out of my way.

[Carmen Dragon]

You say it, but you won't do it. You better take him now.

[Don Ameche]

What?

[Carmen Dragon]

Go on, get up. Take the puppy to the dog pound.

[Don Ameche]

Blanche, are you out of your mind? It's after two in the morning.

[Carmen Dragon]

They're open all night. Go on, get up and take him.

[Don Ameche]

Why, I never heard of such a thing. You know, I went to bed with a splitting headache and I had to take a dozen worm pills to fall asleep.

[Carmen Dragon]

You take the dog to the pound quick enough if Gloria Goosby asks you to.

[Don Ameche]

How do you always manage to work the conversation around to Gloria Goosby? Shut up.

[Carmen Dragon]

Well, if you wouldn't shout so much, maybe the puppy would be able to sleep.

[Don Ameche]

Ah, what's the use? Good night.

[Carmen Dragon]

I thought it would be nice to have a little dog. Especially when we move into our new apartment.

[Don Ameche]

Still have a year to go on this one.

[Carmen Dragon]

Our lease expired Friday.

[Don Ameche]

I renewed it yesterday.

[Carmen Dragon]

I canceled it this morning. Amos is raffling off the apartment for me.

[Don Ameche]

That's a good idea. Amos is What?

[Carmen Dragon]

Amos sold 500 tickets at $2 apiece. And the winner moves into our apartment tomorrow.

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, Blanche. No.

[Don Ameche]

No.

[Danny Thomas]

I don't believe it.

[Don Ameche]

We'll be on the street.

[Carmen Dragon]

Amos said he'll find us a new place. And a jiffy jiffy.

[Don Ameche]

Haven't you heard? There's a housing shortage. Where will he find a place?

[Carmen Dragon]

Well, I bought a ticket myself. It's a wonderful chance. Lovely three room apartment, large kitchen, big closets. It's worth $2, and we might get it.

[Danny Thomas]

Get it? We got it now.

[Carmen Dragon]

I know. But even if we don't win, we get the thousand dollars Amos collected for the rest of the tickets.

[Don Ameche]

Look, Blanche, I gave the landlord a $1,200 bonus to renew the lease. So now I'm out $200 and I got no place to live.

[Carmen Dragon]

Sounds like pretty poor business to me. Why do you make such deals?

[Don Ameche]

I love Blanche.

[Carmen Dragon]

The trouble with you, John, is that you're too conservative. Blanche, if you shake up some of the deals that Amos has, we might be able to live as nicely as he does. Blanche, he's been living at the Biltmore Hotel for a year.

[Don Ameche]

He sleeps on a billiard table. Look out. Where's my slippers?

[Carmen Dragon]

What are you gonna do?

[Don Ameche]

Let me get to that phone. I'll shoot out. Ooh. Put on the lights.

[Carmen Dragon]

The lights are on. Open your eyes.

[Don Ameche]

Oh. Where's the phone? I know it's gonna ring, and I wanna be ready when it does. Hello?

[Carmen Dragon]

Excuse me.

[Danny Thomas]

Is it from dad?

[Don Ameche]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That wasn't Amos. Oh, I'll get it. I'll get it. Amos.

[Danny Thomas]

Hi, Jacko. What are you doing up this time of night?

[Don Ameche]

Packing, Amos. We're moving. Haven't you heard?

[Danny Thomas]

Well, aren't you gonna invite me in? I'd like to look the place over.

[Don Ameche]

You mean.

[Danny Thomas]

Yep. I won the raffle. Dumbest luck I ever saw.

[Don Ameche]

Who drew the ticket? Amos, fair and square.

[Danny Thomas]

I wouldn't take a chance having some phony draw it, so I drew it myself.

[Don Ameche]

What a coincidence. Get out of here.

[Danny Thomas]

What's the matter with you, jocko? You got $1,000 coming. And if you're worried about a place to live, I'll rent you the garage. You haven't got a car anymore.

[Don Ameche]

Get out of here before I hit you with a cleaver.

[Danny Thomas]

Okay, Jocko, you don't have to get.

[Don Ameche]

And you better give the money back to the people you sold tickets to or you'll have a lot of explaining to do.

[Danny Thomas]

Not me, brother. You'll have to do the explaining. I'll tell them you won. Good night, Jocko.

[Don Ameche]

That guy will wind up on a chain gang as sure.

[Carmen Dragon]

Was it Amos who won?

[Phil Rapp]

I did.

[Don Ameche]

Now at last I can go to sleep in my own bed without worrying.

[Carmen Dragon]

No, you can't, dear. The dog's in there.

[Don Ameche]

Ah, nuts. I'll sleep in the garage.

[Phil Rapp]

This is Toby Reed reminding you for lovely lustrous hair. Used Dream no Other shampoo, Only Dream Shampoo with hair conditioning action. Leaves your hair more lustrous, yet so easy to manage. Listen next Sunday for another pleasant half hour with Don Ameche, Danny Thomas, Francis Langford, Carmen Dragon and his orchestra. And now here is Don Amici wishing.

[Don Ameche]

You good days, good nights and good luck. Until we meet again, let's all remember the March of Dimes everybody's talking about. Dreft, the greatest dishwashing discovery in 2000 years. Dreft D R E F T. Dreft Procter and Gamble sudsing miracle. It gets dishes so clean they shine even without wiping. Yes, it makes even glasses sparkle like jewels. Draft simply can't leave any streaks on dishes the way all soaps do. Why, with Dreft, your nicest glassware positively shines. Dreft is kind to your hands too. Get Dreft in the bright green package that's D R E F D. Dreft.

[Phil Rapp]

Danny Thomas appeared through the courtesy of Metro Goldwyn Mayer, producers of the Technicolor musical Till the Clouds Roll by. Danny Thomas's song was written by Jerry Celand with special music by Carmen Dragon. Ladies, there's still a worldwide shortage of fats and oils that you can help whip by saving every drop of your kitchen fats every meal time. Now that's the way to help get more soap, more fabrics and other peacetime products sooner. So save those fats. The need is urgent. The reason? Sound and dealers now pay more per pound. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.

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[Ryan]

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[Ryan]

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[Francis Langford]

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[Danny Thomas]

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[Styles MacKenzie]

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[Don Ameche]

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