Bickersons - Allergic To Dogs

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – Bickersons: "Allergic To Dogs"

Release Date: April 4, 2026
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Golden Age Radio Episode: The Bickersons, featuring Don Ameche, Frances Langford, and Danny Thomas

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Episode Theme & Overview

This episode is a faithful recreation of "The Bickersons," a beloved Golden Age radio comedy. "Allergic To Dogs" weaves together musical numbers, comedic sketches, and the classic marital squabbles of John and Blanche Bickerson, all set against the backdrop of radio’s heyday. The episode opens with playful satire around psychiatry, segues into absurdist musical parody, and builds toward the central domestic conflict: Blanche brings home a puppy, provoking John’s comedic exasperation due to his allergies.

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Key Segments & Highlights

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1. Show Opening & Introductions

[00:01–02:08]

• The show opens with fanfare and a sponsor plug for "Dream Shampoo."
• Cast is introduced: Don Ameche (host/John Bickerson), Frances Langford (Blanche Bickerson/singer), Danny Thomas (comic relief), Dr. Gail Gordon (guest 'psychiatrist').
• Memorable Moment:
  Frances Langford delivers an upbeat rendition of "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah"
  (00:33–01:54)

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2. Psychiatrist Sketch and Danny’s 'Mic Fright'

[02:09–10:00]

• Don Ameche seeks help for Danny Thomas’s paralyzing fear of the microphone, seeking advice from Dr. Gordon, an over-the-top psychiatrist.
• The sketch lampoons psychiatry: Dr. Gordon misdiagnoses nearly everyone he sees, citing outlandish conditions.
• Quote:
  Dr. Gail Gordon (03:47):
  “Amazing case. Definitely. Schizoid musician, you said.”
• Danny tries to outwit the doctor, joking about his own “kleptomania.”
  Danny Thomas (07:21):
  “Oh yes. I had it when it first came out. I love to steal women's clothing. Lifted a lady's petticoat when I was knee high to a bargain counter.”
• Dr. Gordon invents more bizarre diseases: "tittlebats posture" and "Stunk's delusion."
  (09:33–09:44)
• Memorable Skit:
  The escalating misunderstanding of Danny’s name: Tompkins, Thompson, and Thomas.
  Danny Thomas (07:09):
  “Thomas, sir. Danny Thomas.”

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3. Musical Parody – The Psychiatrist Routine

[10:26–15:28]

• Danny Thomas, imagining himself as “Dr. Sigmund Thomas,” demonstrates what he thinks psychiatry is: outlandish questions and call-and-response word games.
• Quote:
  Danny Thomas (12:14):
  “Do you sew up all your pockets and touch wet electric sockets and cut paper dolls for hour after hour? ... Do you sleep in a deep freezer? Do you think you’re Julius Caesar?”
• Word association game ensues, turning into comic improvisation:
  Don Amici (13:43): “What’s Lana Turner got to do with it?”
  Danny Thomas: “Nothing. She’s the first thing I always think of.”
• Memorable Song Parody:
  Frances Langford and Danny Thomas riff musically on psychological quirks, ending with:
  Frances Langford (15:19):
  “Cause I'm Mark Anthony and I know Caesar. Well … good night, Julius.”

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4. Francis Langford Sings “Oh, But I Do”

[15:59–18:11]

• A sentimental ballad performance, showcasing the variety radio format.

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5. The Bickersons: "Allergic To Dogs"

[19:29–27:39]

Setup & Conflict

[19:29–21:24]

• The Bickersons, John and Blanche, display their classic late-night banter. John’s (Don Ameche) insomnia and Blanche’s (Frances Langford) relentless need to talk are center stage.
• Quote:
  Blanche Bickerson (21:07):
  “When else can I talk to you? You come home for dinner and bury your head in the paper. Never a word out of you. And you tell me you have to go to bed early because you have insomnia.”

Blanche Brings Home a Puppy

[21:24–22:57]

• Blanche reveals she brought home a puppy, sparking John’s outrage due to his alleged dog allergy.
• Quote:
  Blanche (22:26):
  “It’s only a dog, silly. I got a little puppy.”
  John (22:39):
  “What do we need dogs for?... I tell you I’m allergic to dogs. They make me…you see. Get rid of that thing. He’ll whine all night and keep me awake.”

Escalation: Sleep, Aspirin, and Worm Pills

[22:57–24:16]

• John’s search for aspirin turns into a misunderstanding—he’s been ingesting the dog’s worm pills.
• Quote:
  John (23:27):
  “How can they be in the med…Blanche, what have I been eating? No wonder my headache won’t go away! Why do you do these things to me? Send for a doctor.” Blanche (23:35):
  “Don’t carry on so. If they’re good for a dog, they won’t hurt you. Go to sleep.”

The Dog Pound & The Apartment Raffle

[24:16–27:39]

• Blanche demands John take the puppy to the dog pound immediately—at 2 a.m.—insisting they're open all night.
• Blanche (24:29):
  “Go on, get up. Take the puppy to the dog pound.” John (24:34):
  “Blanche, are you out of your mind? It’s after two in the morning.”
• The conversation shifts to real estate chaos: their apartment lease has been canceled and raffled off by Blanche’s brother Amos (Danny Thomas). Conveniently, Amos himself draws the winning ticket.
• Amos (26:31):
  “Hi, Jocko. What are you doing up this time of night?... I won the raffle d luck I ever saw.”
  • A classic Bickersons punchline: John’s relief at keeping the apartment is dashed by the realization that the dog now occupies his bed, so he’ll “sleep in the garage” instead.

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Notable Quotes & Exchanges (with Timestamps)

• Blanche Bickerson (20:30): “The lights are out. But how would you know, anyway, with that sleep shade on?”
• Danny Thomas as Amos (26:31): “I wouldn't take a chance having some phony draw it, so I drew it myself.”
• Blanche (25:28): "It's a wonderful chance. Lovely three-room apartment, large kitchen, big closets...and we might get it."
• John (27:31): "Ah, nuts. I'll sleep in the garage."

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Memorable Moments

• The running gag of John’s supposed allergies vs. Blanche’s skepticism.
• John’s farcical consumption of dog worm pills for his headache.
• Concept of an “apartment raffle,” with Amos conveniently drawing himself as winner.
• Final scene: with the puppy in bed, John resigns himself to sleeping in the garage.

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Overall Tone & Style

• The humor is fast-paced, witty, and grounded in classic radio “battle-of-the-sexes” banter.
• Frequent wordplay, mistaken identities, and playful jabs at contemporary (1940s) psychiatry.
• Brief musical numbers and sponsor pitches (for Dream Shampoo) complement the comedy.

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Conclusion

This installment of "Harold’s Old Time Radio," featuring "The Bickersons," masterfully balances snappy marital comedy, slapstick misunderstandings, and playful period music. For new listeners, it’s a showcase of the era’s variety-radio magic—with particularly memorable moments coming from the escalating bedroom squabble over a puppy and an apartment raffle gone awry. The episode is a delightful homage to the Golden Age of radio, rich with nostalgia and clever repartee.

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Transcript

[Announcer]

From Hollywood, it's dream time. Ladies and gentlemen, the makers of Dream Shampoo are pleased to present the fifth in a series of new programs written by Phil Rapp, produced by Carlton Alsop, and starring Don Ameche.

[Don Amici]

Blanche, let me sleep, will you?

[Announcer]

Danny Thomas.

[Danny Thomas]

Just let him try and put me out of this phone booth, that's all.

[Announcer]

And Francis Langford, who sings.

[Francis Langford]

Zippity doo dah Zippity a My oh my, what a wonderful day Plenty of sunshine heading my way Zippity doo dah zippity a Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder it's the truth, it's actual Everything is satisfactual Zippity do dah zippity a wonderful feeling wonderful day. Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder it's the truth, it's actual Everything is satisfactional symphony Judas infinier Wonderful feeling, wonderful day Mr. Bluebird winging a wonderful day.

[Announcer]

And now, here is your host for the evening, Don Amici.

[Don Amici]

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, and good evening. You can come right over here. Gail, I want you to meet Ms.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Langford and thank you.

[Don Amici]

Francis. This is an old school chum of mine, now a distinguished doctor, Dr. Gail Gordon.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Not the eminent psychiatrist.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

You're very kind, Ms. Lankford.

[Don Amici]

Walk down the hall with us, Francis. I've been terribly worried about Danny Thomas secluding himself in that telephone booth, and I thought Dr. Gordon might be able to help.

[Blanche Bickerson]

He's so scared of a mic, he jumps when you say Romanov.

[Don Amici]

I beg your pardon? That's just a little joke, Doctor. You'll have to steel yourself to a lot of that around here. Wait, wait. On the left hand side, can you see Danny's face? Mmm.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Hypophrenic type, Possibly manic depressive. How long has he been in that catatonic stupor?

[Don Amici]

Just a minute, Gail. You're looking at Carmen Dragon.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Oh, sorry.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Seems like a natural mistake to me. If you'll excuse me, I'll go back to my knitting.

[Danny Thomas]

Did you call me down?

[Don Amici]

Carmen, I'd like you to shake hands with Dr. Gordon. This is our musical director, Carmen Dragon.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Mr. Dragon.

[Don Amici]

Mr.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Doctor.

[Danny Thomas]

I mean, Dr. Gordon.

[Don Amici]

Doctor's gonna have a look at Danny Thomas. Carmen, about his mic fright, huh?

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Mr. Dragon, so far as I can determine, there must be some psychological reason above and beyond fear of the microphone that impels Mr. Tompkins to.

[Don Amici]

Thomas. Danny Thomas.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Yes. That impels Mr. Thomas to withdraw from society and spend four weeks in a telephone.

[Don Amici]

What's wrong with that? You think that's normal, Carmen?

[Danny Thomas]

I don't see anything wrong with It.

[Don Amici]

Well, I'll have to look at you later on.

[Danny Thomas]

What for, Doc?

[Don Amici]

Carmen, Dr. Gordon is a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist?

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, are you one of those crazy doctors, Carmen?

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Go away.

[Don Amici]

Go away.

[Danny Thomas]

Sure.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Amazing case. Definitely. Schizoid musician, you said.

[Don Amici]

That's right.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Wind instrument, no doubt. Has a startling effect on the cortex. Notice the shuffling gait, the lackluster eyes.

[Announcer]

Girls, your hair will never lack luster if you use dreams.

[Don Amici]

Toby, why do you keep doing that?

[Announcer]

I didn't mean to disturb you, Don. Just perusing my dream discourse.

[Don Amici]

Well, just be good enough to do your perusing in the proper place. Honestly, Gail, I've never run into so

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

many weird people in all astounding personality. Pronounced symptoms of huxtomania coupled with Goneff's disease. I'm delighted that you asked me down here, Don.

[Don Amici]

Well, I'm glad you like it. It's driving me nuts.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

I can't wait to probe the psyche of that Tompkins lad.

[Danny Thomas]

Thomas.

[Don Amici]

Danny Thomas. Yeah.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

I imagine he'll present a number of facets.

[Don Amici]

Wait a minute, Gail. There goes that Reed again. You see him? He's going at the. They have some sort of weekly rendezvous.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Extremely interesting. I wonder if we might eavesdrop.

[Danny Thomas]

Psychiatrist, eh? Say, he's a friend of Amici's.

[Announcer]

That's right, Danny. And if they try anything with you, boy.

[Danny Thomas]

I'll take it easy, Toby. I'll handle it. They think I'm goofy, huh?

[Announcer]

You're the only sane one around here, Danny.

[Danny Thomas]

Show that doctor a thing or two. I'll give him some of his own medicine.

[Announcer]

Well, I kind of thought you'd like me to tip you off.

[Danny Thomas]

You know, I appreciate it plenty, Toby. And just to show you how grateful I am. Well, go ahead, Toby.

[Announcer]

Right now.

[Danny Thomas]

Certainly. Read the whole commercial to me. And don't skip a word.

[Announcer]

Oh, gee, thanks. Move over a little, will you, Danny?

[Danny Thomas]

Sure. Oh, Toby, that phone's disconnected.

[Announcer]

Oh, well, what's the difference? As long as you hear me.

[Danny Thomas]

Okay.

[Announcer]

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[Danny Thomas]

very, very nice, Toby.

[Don Amici]

Hello, Danny. Are we interrupting anything?

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, not at all. And, Toby, you may run along now. And you needn't worry about your brother's kleptomania. That's easily controlled by mild sedatives and a sharp rapping on the knuckles with a spiked club, Danny. And if you have any recurrence of that dream, I'll attempt to break it down. Although I imagine it was pretty broken down to begin with. Well, goodbye, Toby. Now, what can I do for you, Don?

[Don Amici]

Well, you can come out of that

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

telephone booth and meet Dr. Mr. Tompkins.

[Danny Thomas]

Thomas. Thomas, sir. Danny Thomas.

[Don Amici]

Yes, yes.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Your advice to the young man regarding his brother's affliction leads me to believe you're acquainted with psychiatry.

[Danny Thomas]

Superficially. However, I do know a great deal about kleptomania.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Really?

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, yes. I had it when it first came out. I love to steal women's clothing. Lifted a lady's petticoat when I was knee high to a bargain counter.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Very precocious.

[Danny Thomas]

Mm. My first slip. Now, what's your trouble?

[Don Amici]

Danny, what are you trying to do?

[Danny Thomas]

Donald.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Donald, please. Now, Mr. Thompson.

[Danny Thomas]

Tompkins.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Thomas.

[Don Amici]

Now, listen, Danny. This gentleman is a psychiatrist, Dr. Gordon. He's here to help you.

[Danny Thomas]

Help me?

[Don Amici]

Help me what? Help me get over these terrible phobias you've developed.

[Danny Thomas]

What phobias? I'm not afraid of anything.

[Don Amici]

Why, you can't even face a microphone.

[Danny Thomas]

I can, too, but I faint. I mean, nobody's perfect.

[Don Amici]

Look at the doctor.

[Danny Thomas]

He can't even remember my name. Calls me Mr. Tompkins. What's my name? Dr. Gerson Gordon. See, he thinks my name is Gordon.

[Don Amici]

His name is Gordon.

[Danny Thomas]

And why does he think I'm him? Do we look alike?

[Don Amici]

You just called him Gerson. Why, how do I know? I'm all confused.

[Danny Thomas]

You're in a bad way, amici. Maybe the doctor should say, stop it, you big oak.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Now, now, let's not get hysterical, please, Mr. Tompkins.

[Danny Thomas]

Gerseny.

[Don Amici]

Yes.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

We can approach this problem rationally. Tell me, how long is it that You've been seeing this huge silver fish floating in front of your eyes.

[Danny Thomas]

Silver fish? I never see any silver fish. Oh.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Oh, excuse me. I'm thinking of another patient. Very interesting case. Chap by the name of Thrip the last two years.

[Danny Thomas]

Doc.

[Don Amici]

Doc. We've already spread a minute and a half, and he's still got a song to do. Move it along, will you?

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Mr. Thomas, would you submit to analysis?

[Danny Thomas]

No, no. Give me a little time, that's all. I'll come out of here as soon as I feel strong enough. There's nothing wrong with me, honest.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

On the contrary, you're in great trouble.

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, no.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

You have an obsessive neurosis that's rapidly becoming worse. And unless you submit to treatment, there's no telling what will happen.

[Danny Thomas]

What? No. Don.

[Don Amici]

Come on out, you coward. He isn't gonna hurt you. Drop your inhibitions and let him probe your psyche.

[Danny Thomas]

I will not.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Then I'm afraid you'll become a victim of phonophobia. An incurable condition if it isn't caught in the early stages.

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, no. Yes.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

That ailment rapidly degenerates into tittlebats. Posture.

[Danny Thomas]

Oh, no.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

The prime symptom of Stunk's delusion.

[Danny Thomas]

No.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Will you come out?

[Francis Langford]

No, no.

[Don Amici]

Go away.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Well, it's hopeless. The man's too resistive.

[Don Amici]

Oh, come on, doc. Leave him alone. I hope they take him away in a restraining sheet.

[Danny Thomas]

How do you like that? Schnk's delusion. So that's a psychiatrist. Well, I can say anyone who goes to him ought have his head examined. Big old. Big old for me, she calls me. I should have said. I'm not even married. I should have said. Then he should have said. What's being married got to do with it? Then I should have said. Well, if I'm an oaf, where's my ife? I should have said. I'm nuts.

[Don Amici]

No.

[Danny Thomas]

That's what the argument was about. Big psychiatrist. What's so tough about being a psychiatrist? I know psychiatry backwards. I do. Trochaiosis.

[Don Amici]

That's silly.

[Danny Thomas]

That's not backwards. That's sideways and upside down. I could be the greatest psychiatrist in the world. Sure, why not? It's a free country. I'm a citizen. I can just see me now in my office. Oh, no, no, no. Demonstrating to a gallery of doctors in Europe.

[Announcer]

And the eyes of the entire medical world were focused upon the fabulous psychiatrist Dr. Sigmund Thomas. As he began the analysis on Misha Amici, Demented bass player at the La Scala opera house in Milan, Italy.

[Danny Thomas]

Now just relax in your close your eyes.

[Don Amici]

I'm a close.

[Danny Thomas]

What bothers you?

[Don Amici]

Well, you told me I should stop playing the basic fiddler. For two weeks yesterday, I gonna back into the opera house playing at Carmen. 25 years I play Carmen, but I never did the City Opera. So I bought for myself a ticket. Sir.

[Danny Thomas]

Go on.

[Don Amici]

You know in the second act, the way they sing the Toreador song.

[Danny Thomas]

Yes.

[Don Amici]

For 25 years I played out the song like this.

[Danny Thomas]

Boom, boom, boom, boom.

[Don Amici]

What do you think comes out? I said I'm losing my mind.

[Danny Thomas]

Just relax. Just relax, senor. You're perfectly safe in my hands. But I'll have to question you before I find the reason for your mental pall. Then I'll tell you what goes on within your mind. But don't be nervous because it's nothing at all. Do you sew up all your pockets and touch wet electric sockets and cut paper dolls for hour after hour? Do you like to sit on fire and eat razor blades and wire and put sugar in your soup to make it sour?

[Don Amici]

Oh, sure.

[Danny Thomas]

Do you like to squeeze your finger in a door or in a ringer? Do you wear your sneakers when you're dressing formal? Do you sleep in a deep freezer? Do you think you're Julius Caesar?

[Don Amici]

Oh, yes, you're normal.

[Danny Thomas]

Do you like your teeth to hurt you or your sweetheart to desert you? Would you give $1.50 for a nickel?

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Sure do.

[Danny Thomas]

Do you sleep with all your hats on and your garters and your spats on and if your barber shaved your nose off Would it tickle? Sure, you think that you're a cricket do you like to pay a ticket? Would you walk the ocean here from to Dover and do you get a cozy feeling when you're lying on the ceiling? Oh, yeah.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Yes, sir.

[Danny Thomas]

Move over. Now, I know a way that may sidetrack this insanity you're on the brink of. Look, I'll say a word and you answer back with the very first word you think of. For instance, if I say yes, you say no. If I say stop, you say go. All right, let's start. Okay, we do. Now, You like those two guys. Now let's start up Lana Turner. What's Lana Turner got to do with it?

[Don Amici]

Nothing. She's the first thing I always think of.

[Danny Thomas]

Okay, once more. Now, old new me.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

You.

[Danny Thomas]

Red. Blue foot. Shoe down. Spaghetti. Spaghetti? What made you think of that?

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

I'm hungry.

[Danny Thomas]

All right, let's try again. Horn, Boot. Shirt.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Suit.

[Danny Thomas]

Steel. Loot.

[Don Amici]

Cheer.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Root.

[Danny Thomas]

Kill Roy. Not kill Roy. You don't get the idea. Now, look, you say the words to me and I'll show you what I mean. Okay, Sylvia Sidney, huh? Lana Turner's not my type. Okay, once more. Truth, lie, spend, buy, cook, fry, live, die, laugh. Corned beef hash. I don't like spaghetti. Now, let's continue with this analysis.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Shut that door.

[Danny Thomas]

Do you like the recreation of a pleasant long vacation? Do you feel good when you get a raise in wages? Now do you speak when you are talking? Do you move when you are walking? And when you're reading? Do you like a book with pages? Do you laugh when things are funny? Do you like a lot of money? Does a brandy after dinner make you lazy? Tell me, do you like to be admired? And do you rest when you are tired?

[Francis Langford]

Oh, yes.

[Danny Thomas]

You're crazy if you think you're Julius Caesar. Your mind the hollow shell.

[Francis Langford]

Cause I'm Mark Anthony and I know Caesar. Well,

[Danny Thomas]

good night, Julius.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

Francis, I'm glad you left us when you did.

[Don Amici]

Danny behaved horribly.

[Francis Langford]

Didn't the doctor help?

[Don Amici]

No, he went home sick. Sing something to cheer me up, will you, honey? I never thought things would reach the date. I swear.

[Francis Langford]

You think I don't love you. Oh, but I do. How can I show that I do? You think I don't get blue? Oh, but I do. Though I get light hearted too. First I'm singing, then I'm sighing Then I'm flying.

[Don Amici]

Fore.

[Francis Langford]

I don't know why. Oh, but I do. I know that it's you I love. You think I don't know why. Oh, but I do. I know that it's you.

[Announcer]

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[Don Amici]

Listen.

[Blanche Bickerson]

For the love of heaven, what is he doing? John.

[Danny Thomas]

John,

[Blanche Bickerson]

what's the matter with you? You're making the most frightful noises. What's the matter?

[Don Amici]

What's the matter, Blanche?

[Blanche Bickerson]

Are you in pain?

[Don Amici]

I got a terrible headache. Haven't slept a wink.

[Blanche Bickerson]

You've been sleeping like a felled ox.

[Don Amici]

Headaches?

[Blanche Bickerson]

You wouldn't have such a headache if you didn't take so many cocktails before dinner. Why do you do that, John?

[Don Amici]

Always, always do it.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Why?

[Don Amici]

No good to eat on an empty stomach. Put out the lights, Blanche.

[Blanche Bickerson]

The lights are out. But how would you know anyway with that sleep shade on?

[Don Amici]

Something's flashing in my head.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Oh, take an aspirin.

[Danny Thomas]

Okay.

[Dr. Gail Gordon]

I feel better already.

[Blanche Bickerson]

How can you chew those things like that? Wash it down with something.

[Danny Thomas]

All right,

[Blanche Bickerson]

John Vickerson. You washed it down with bourbon.

[Don Amici]

You lied to me. You got the lights on?

[Blanche Bickerson]

Yes, I'm going to keep them on. Sit up. I want to talk to you.

[Don Amici]

Please, Blanche. I can't sit up. My head will fall off. Why do you always have to talk in the middle of the night?

[Blanche Bickerson]

When else can I talk to you? You come home for dinner and bury your head in the paper. Never a word out of you. And you tell me you have to go to bed early because you have insomnia.

[Don Amici]

Well, I have. Takes me hours to fall asleep.

[Blanche Bickerson]

It took you all of 30 seconds tonight.

[Don Amici]

Well, this was a good night. Good night.

[Blanche Bickerson]

John. John, I went over to see the Marvin's new baby this afternoon. It's a beautiful child. Do you know their first one is over a year old?

[Don Amici]

I hope so.

[Blanche Bickerson]

He's been walking since he was eight months.

[Don Amici]

He must be awful tired. I am, too.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Children are such a blessing. It's wonderful to watch them grow up. You'd be surprised how many childless couples are adopting children.

[Don Amici]

I better have another aspirin. Boy, have I got a headache.

[Blanche Bickerson]

John, don't you miss the patter of tiny feet around the house?

[Don Amici]

No, I don't, Blanche. Children are wonderful, all right, but you have to be able to afford them. All this talk of adopting. Of adopting? What the devil is that?

[Blanche Bickerson]

What's what?

[Don Amici]

That. Put the lights on, John. Blanche, don't tell me that you went out and.

[Blanche Bickerson]

It's only a dog, silly. I got a little puppy.

[Don Amici]

A dog? What do we need dogs for? Where's the aspirin why did you get a dog for?

[Blanche Bickerson]

Now, don't get hysterical.

[Don Amici]

Where is that little beast? I can hear it, but I can't see it.

[Blanche Bickerson]

He's right there in the bureau. I've got him in your shirt drawer.

[Don Amici]

You put him in there with my shirt.

[Blanche Bickerson]

He won't suffocate. The drawer's open.

[Don Amici]

Blanche, you know I'm allergic to dog hair. Gives me sinus trouble. Where's the aspirin?

[Blanche Bickerson]

You're just a big hypochondriac. You imagine those allergies like you do your insomnia.

[Don Amici]

I tell you I'm allergic to dogs. They make me, you see. Get rid of that thing. He'll whine all night and keep me awake.

[Blanche Bickerson]

The man said if you. He'll keep quiet if you give him one of those worm pills.

[Don Amici]

Where are they?

[Blanche Bickerson]

On the night table by your bed.

[Don Amici]

How do you give a dog where.

[Blanche Bickerson]

They're on the night table by your bed.

[Don Amici]

There's nothing here except the aspirins.

[Blanche Bickerson]

The aspirins are in the medicine cabinet.

[Don Amici]

How can they be in the med blanks? What have I been eating? No wonder my headache won't go away. Why do you do these things to me? Send for a doctor.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Don't carry on so. If they're good for a dog, they won't hurt you. Go to sleep.

[Don Amici]

Go to sleep, she tells me. Here I am dying from dog poisoning. My. My head is splitting. And she knows I'm allergic to dogs, hides the aspirin and makes.

[Danny Thomas]

Ah, shut up.

[Don Amici]

I don't know. I get up so early. Never, never get another wink of sleep as. As long as.

[Danny Thomas]

John.

[Blanche Bickerson]

John. Because I'm tight.

[Don Amici]

Thanks.

[Blanche Bickerson]

I can see how much sleep I'm going to get tonight. We'll have to get rid of the puppy.

[Don Amici]

Now you're talking.

[Blanche Bickerson]

I want you to take him down to the dog pound.

[Don Amici]

Okay, I'll do it on my way to work.

[Blanche Bickerson]

You go in the opposite direction.

[Don Amici]

I'll go out of my way.

[Blanche Bickerson]

You say it, but you won't do it. You'd better take him now.

[Don Amici]

What?

[Blanche Bickerson]

Go on, get up. Take the puppy to the dog pound.

[Don Amici]

Blanche, are you out of your mind? It's after two in the morning.

[Blanche Bickerson]

They're open all night. Go on, get up and take him.

[Don Amici]

Why, I never heard of such a thing. You know, I went to bed with a splitting headache and I had to take a dozen worm pills to fall asleep.

[Blanche Bickerson]

You take the dog to the pound quick enough if Gloria Goosby asks you to.

[Don Amici]

How do you always manage to Work the conversation around a Gloria Goosby.

[Danny Thomas]

Shut up.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Well, if you wouldn't shout so much, maybe the puppy would be able to sleep.

[Don Amici]

Ah, what's the use? Good night.

[Blanche Bickerson]

I thought it would be nice to have a little dog. Especially when we move into our new apartment.

[Don Amici]

Still have a year to go on this one.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Our lease expired Friday.

[Don Amici]

I renewed it yesterday.

[Blanche Bickerson]

I canceled it this morning. Amos is raffling off the apartment for me.

[Don Amici]

That's a good idea. Amos is What?

[Blanche Bickerson]

Amos sold 500 tickets at $2 a piece. And the winner moves into our apartment tomorrow.

[Don Amici]

Oh, Blanche.

[Blanche Bickerson]

No.

[Danny Thomas]

No.

[Don Amici]

I don't believe it. We'll be on the street.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Amos said he'll find us a new place and a jiffy Jiffy?

[Danny Thomas]

Haven't you heard?

[Don Amici]

There's a housing shortage. Where will he find a place?

[Blanche Bickerson]

Well, I bought a ticket myself. It's a wonderful chance. Lovely three room apartment, large kitchen, big closets. It's worth $2, and we might get it.

[Danny Thomas]

Get it? We got it now.

[Blanche Bickerson]

I know. But even if we don't win, we get the $1,000Amos collected for the rest of the tickets.

[Don Amici]

Look, Blanche, I gave the landlord a $1,200 bonus to renew the lease. So now I'm out $200 and I got no place to live.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Sounds like pretty poor business to me. Why do you make such deals?

[Don Amici]

Now, look, Blanche.

[Blanche Bickerson]

The trouble with you, John, is that you're too conservative. Blanche, if you take up some of the deals that Amos has, we might be able to live as nicely as he does. Blanche, he's been living at the the Biltmore Hotel for a year.

[Don Amici]

He sleeps on a billiard table. Look out. Where's my slippers?

[Blanche Bickerson]

What are you gonna do?

[Don Amici]

Let me get to that phone.

[Danny Thomas]

I'll shoot out.

[Don Amici]

Oh, put on the lights.

[Blanche Bickerson]

The lights are on. Open your eyes.

[Don Amici]

Oh, there's the phone. I know it's gonna ring, and I want to be ready when it does. Hello?

[Blanche Bickerson]

Excuse me. Is it from dead?

[Don Amici]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That wasn't Amos.

[Danny Thomas]

Ho.

[Don Amici]

But I'll. Amos.

[Danny Thomas]

Hi, Jacko. What are you doing up this time of night?

[Don Amici]

Packing. Amos, we're moving. Haven't you heard?

[Danny Thomas]

Well, aren't you going to invite me in? I'd like to look the place over. You mean. Yep. I won the raffle d luck I ever saw.

[Don Amici]

Who drew the ticket? Amos, fair and square.

[Danny Thomas]

I wouldn't take a chance having some phony draw it, so I drew it myself.

[Don Amici]

What a coincidence.

[Danny Thomas]

Get out of here. What's the matter with you, jocko? You got $1,000 coming. And if you're worried about a place to live, I'll rent you the garage. You haven't got a car anymore.

[Don Amici]

Get out of here before I hit you with a cleaver.

[Danny Thomas]

Okay, Jocko, you don't have to get sore.

[Don Amici]

And you better give the money back to the people you sold tickets to or you'll have a lot of explaining to do.

[Danny Thomas]

Not me, brother. You'll have to do the explaining. I'll tell them you won. Good night, Jocko.

[Don Amici]

That guy will wind up on a chain gang as sure as.

[Blanche Bickerson]

Was it Amos? Who won?

[Don Amici]

I did. Now at last I can go to sleep in my own bed without worrying.

[Blanche Bickerson]

No, you can't, dear. The dog's in there.

[Don Amici]

Ah, nuts. I'll sleep in the garage.

[Announcer]

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[Don Amici]

And now, here is Don Amici wishing you good days, good nights and good luck. Until we meet again, let's all remember the March of Dime. Everybody's talking about Drift, the greatest dishwashing discovery in 2000 years. Dreft D, R, E F T Dreft Procter and Gamble Sudsing miracle. It gets dishes so clean they shine even without wiping. Yes, it makes even glasses sparkle like jewels. Draft simply can't leave any streaks on dishes the way all soaps do. Why, with Dreft, your nicest glassware positively shines. Dreft is kind to your hands too get dreft in the bright green package that's D R E F T. Dreft.

[Announcer]

Danny Thomas appeared through the courtesy of Metro Goldwyn Mayer, producers of the Technicolor musical Till the Clouds Roll by. Danny Thomas song was written by Jerry Selen with special music by Carmen Dragon. Ladies, there's still a worldwide shortage of fats and oils that you can help with by saving every drop of your kitchen fats every meal time. Now, that's the way to help. Get more soap, more fabrics and other peacetime products sooner. So save those fats. The need is urgent. The reason? Sound and dealers now pay more per pound. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.