Blondie 39-11-06 (019) Uncle Gideon and Aunt Bessie

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio - "Blondie 39-11-06 (019) Uncle Gideon and Aunt Bessie"

Introduction Hosted by Harold's Old Time Radio, this episode presents a classic episode of the beloved radio show "Blondie." Set in the charming ambiance of the Golden Age of Radio, the episode delves into the comedic and heartfelt dynamics of the Bumstead family as they navigate unexpected challenges related to their employer's latest business venture.

Main Plot Overview The episode opens with JC Dithers, Blondie and Dagwood Bumstead's employer, showcasing a newly completed bungalow designed to serve as a honeymoon cottage for newlyweds. Dithers reveals his ambitious plan to furnish these homes to attract honeymoon couples, aiming to please his business associate, Stipple.

Key Discussions and Interactions

1. Dithers’ Vision for Honeymoon Homes (02:08 - 05:37)

   • JC Dithers: “Well, Bumpstead, I'm glad you mentioned that. I had the same idea you did.” (04:03)
   • Dithers contemplates the idea of having Blondie and Dagwood temporarily stay in the newly furnished bungalow to model the perfect honeymoon home. However, Dagwood declines, concerned about the new furniture and their family, including Baby Dumpling and Daisy the dog.

2. Introducing Aunt Bessie and Uncle Gideon (04:35 - 07:08)

   • Dagwood Bumstead: “I got a better idea, Mr. Dilles. I know some real honeymooners. And nice steady people, too. Blondie's Aunt Bessie and her husband, Mr. Sneevle.” (05:00)
   • Dagwood suggests enlisting Blondie’s aunt and uncle to pose as the honeymoon couple. Initially skeptical, Dithers agrees on the condition that Blondie and Dagwood set up the home to appear welcoming.

3. Unpacking and Setup Issues (06:08 - 09:01)

   • Upon returning home, Blondie and Dagwood realize that the bungalow lacks essential utilities such as electricity, gas, and phone service, making the setup more complicated. They encounter difficulties in arranging the home to meet Dithers’ expectations for a romantic ambiance.

4. Aunt Bessie and Uncle Gideon’s Turbulent Relationship (08:04 - 12:18)

   • Aunt Bessie: “I say, and so I have left home.” (08:39)
   • The arrival of Aunt Bessie and her husband, Uncle Gideon Sneevle, introduces tension as their strained marriage becomes apparent. Their interactions reveal past grievances, with Aunt Bessie expressing resentment over Uncle Gideon's behavior and the disintegration of their marriage.

5. Conflict Escalation with Uncle Gideon (13:00 - 24:18)

   • Uncle Gideon confronts Aunt Bessie about their troubled marriage, leading to heated exchanges and comedic exchanges that highlight their dysfunctional relationship.
   • Uncle Gideon Sneevle: “I did give you a good home. But I didn't promise a home for your whole Family.” (16:26)
   • The situation intensifies when Mr. Stipple arrives to inspect the bungalow, observing the chaos and questioning the setup's authenticity.

6. Resolution and Reconciliation (24:18 - 29:44)

   • Mr. Stipple: “A real home is a place where a man and a woman face life together.” (25:58)
   • Through a heartfelt conversation, Mr. Stipple imparts wisdom about the essence of a home, emphasizing the importance of love and companionship over mere appearances.
   • Dagwood Bumstead: “Stipple will be here any minute looking for a romantic honeymoon couple.” (21:20)
   • Inspired by Mr. Stipple’s insights, Aunt Bessie and Uncle Gideon reconcile, deciding to give their marriage another chance by moving into the bungalow together.
   • Uncle Gideon Sneevle: “From now on, we live here, Bessie.” (28:52)
   • This reconciliation frees Blondie and Dagwood from their obligation, allowing them to maintain their family life without further complications.

Notable Quotes

• Dagwood Bumstead: “I brought over some knickknacks. It's stuff to scatter around, make the place homey.” (06:34)
  (Dagwood emphasizes his efforts to create a welcoming environment despite the challenges.)

• Aunt Bessie: “I was just fool enough to think he meant it when he said he'd give me a good home.” (09:21)
  (Aunt Bessie reflects on her misguided trust in Uncle Gideon, highlighting the episode's central conflict.)

• Mr. Stipple: “A real home is a place where a man and a woman face life together. Face it unafraid, laughing at misunderstanding, inviting contentment, finding beauty in the simple act of living.” (25:58)
  (Mr. Stipple provides a poignant definition of what truly constitutes a home, steering the narrative towards reconciliation.)

Conclusion This episode of "Blondie" masterfully intertwines humor with heartfelt moments, showcasing the complexities of family relationships and the true meaning of home. Through the bumbling yet endearing efforts of Blondie and Dagwood, the story ultimately delivers a timeless message about love, understanding, and the importance of genuine connections over superficial appearances.

For listeners who cherish the nostalgia of old-time radio and the timeless antics of the Bumstead family, this episode offers a delightful blend of comedy, drama, and moral lessons, staying true to the essence of the Golden Age of Radio.

Transcript

[Styles Mackenzie]

We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Styles Mackenzie helping you make those rooms sing. Today's style tip when it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com fierce this has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior. Wayfair Every style, every home.

[Camel Cigarettes Announcer]

Out of the funnies into your homes and we hope your hearts too. The makers of Camel cigarettes bring you Blondie. Before we drop over to the Bumstead house to visit Chick Young's famous characters, Blondie and Dagwood, a word from the makers of Camel cigarettes. Now one of the things that makes Camel cigarettes so different is that Camel's costlier tobaccos are slower burning. Recent scientific tests confirm it. But you don't need a stopwatch to tell you that Camels are slower burning. You've got a better way of knowing. You'll find that Camels are cooler, milder, better tasting too. Because that slow burning feature of Camels lets the flavor and fragrant aroma come through to you. Your throat too will appreciate the gentleness of slow burning Camels. And of course a cigarette that burns slower is going to give you more actual smoking. By burning 25% slower than the average of the 15 other of the largest selling brands tested. Slower than any of them. Camels give a smoking plus equal to five extra smokes per pack. So for extra smoking and extra pleasure, smoke, smoke the slow burning cigarette of costlier tobacco's Camel. And now we're ready for our weekly date with the Bumsteads. This time we find Dagwood with his employer JC Dithers standing in the living room of a newly completed bungalow. Listen.

[JC Dithers]

Well, Bumpstead, is this a typical Dithers dream home or isn't it?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh sure, sure.

[JC Dithers]

Does that fireplace look like the kind where a young couple could sit gazing at flickering flames or not?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yes sir. Why that's our regular number. 413.

[JC Dithers]

413. A Bumstead. Oh, the hearth of a lifelong honeymoon. $12.85 extra. Oh, and what about the furniture, Bumpstead?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

It's okay.

[JC Dithers]

You mean it breathes contentment, don't you? If it doesn't that decorator overcharge me.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Are you going to furnish all the houses you build now, Mr. Dithers?

[JC Dithers]

Not by a long shot, I'm not. I was crazy to furnish this one.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yes sir.

[JC Dithers]

What?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I mean, why did you furnish this.

[JC Dithers]

One to please Lochinvar? Stipple stipples an old bachelor with a barrel of money and a lot of romantic ideas about marriage and love in a cottage. He keeps talking about lamp lit windows in an ideal home for two. So he wants to play Cupid by providing dream homes for honeymoon couples. Easy terms and no down payment. If he can just put the right people in the right houses. Yeah, Claims he doesn't want to make a cent.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Gosh, I wish I'd met him when I first married Blondie.

[JC Dithers]

If you'd waited for him to provide a home, you'd be living on a vacant lot today. Bump said.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Why?

[JC Dithers]

Oh, because he can't seem to find a place that lives up to his ideas. I started showing him new houses and he said they all look too empty. And I furnished this one and he still didn't like it. He seems to expect to find his honeymooners all moved in and holding hands in front of the fire.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Say, that's a good idea. You know what Eddie Guest said? It takes a heap of living in a house to make it home. Why don't you furnish some people too?

[JC Dithers]

Well, Bumpstead, I'm glad you mentioned that. I had the same idea you did? Yeah. Oh, only I'm not going to turn this new furniture over to strangers. I want someone I can hold responsible. Oh, sure.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Responsible people is what you want. Don't get anyone who would come in and start throwing parties for their friends and relatives. Get someone who would kind of move in and then relax.

[JC Dithers]

Well, Bumpsid, you relax easier than any man I've ever met. How about you and Blondie moving in here for a while?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, no, Mr. Dennis. It's a nice place. But all this new furniture and all.

[JC Dithers]

Why, you two could make believe you were just starting on your honeymoon.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, who would we make believe Baby Dumpling was?

[JC Dithers]

Huh? Oh, well, you could leave Baby Dumpling with the Fuddles. Get a complete change.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I don't know. Blondie and I are kind of used to Baby Dumpling now and Daisy the dog would miss it.

[JC Dithers]

Oh, nonsense. Look, I'd make it worth your while, Bumpstead.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

No, look. Oh, I got a better idea, Mr. Dillis. I know some real honeymooners. And nice steady people, too. Blondie's Aunt Bessie and her husband, Mr. Sneevle.

[JC Dithers]

They don't sound very romantic to me. Stipple wants Romans.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

You ought to see them like kids. Blondie and I brought them together and I bet they'd be glad to do us a favor.

[JC Dithers]

But I wanted to settle the deal with Stipple this weekend. If I can do that, I can sell him a lot of homes.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

And besides that, I could wire.

[JC Dithers]

Well, it's against my better judgment. Bumps did. Anytime I leave anything to you, something goes sour. But I'll settle for Aunt Bessie and Weevil if it's needful. Oh, what's the difference? I'll settle for them on one condition. You and Blondie come in here first. Let Blondie sort of warm the place up. She has a knack around the house. Then if her Aunt Bessie doesn't come, you two will have to go through with the romantic stuff for staple.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, I'll ask Blondie. And if she's game, I am.

[JC Dithers]

Then it's a deal, Bumpstead. Now, when I bring Stipple, be sure there's a fire in the grate and soft lamps glowing all over the place.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Okay.

[JC Dithers]

Remember, he's strong on lighting windows.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Open the door, will you?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, Bagwood. Oh, my goodness. What's that?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Our trunk. Hold that door open.

[Blondie Bumstead]

But, Dagwood, we won't need a trunk, will we? Goodness, we may not even stay overnight if Aunt Bethy and Gideon get here in time. And if we did need anything extra to wear, we could run over to the house for it.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah. Yeah. I brought over some knickknacks.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Knickknacks?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah, it's stuff to scatter around, make the place homey.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, Dagwood, there are too many things in this house now. I've been changing the furniture around and putting things away all afternoon. Well, just let the trunk stand in the hallway there for now.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Say, it's pretty dark in here. Why don't you light up the lamps, huh? Dithers says Mr. Stippler is strong on lots of warm lights and stuff.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Then Mr. Dithers should have thought to have had the electricity turned on.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Isn't it on?

[Blondie Bumstead]

No, Dagwood. No electricity, gas or phone. No heat yet? No, except the fireplace.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah, that isn't burning up very well, is it?

[Blondie Bumstead]

No, the wood's sort of green. I think it smokes.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I don't think this is going to be what Dithers wants Mr. Stipple to see.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, we'll do the best we can. I ran over to the neighbors and phoned everybody to turn everything on. And they said they would, but they didn't say just when.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Say, I smell kerosene.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, it's this oil lantern I borrowed. It smokes too.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

It doesn't give out much light either.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, dear. I did Want the place to look cozy for Mr. Stipple. You know, Dagwood, I think his idea is lovely. Furnishing little honeymoon places for people.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, maybe the lights will come on before he gets here and the firewood may dry out and burn. Say, when are Aunt Bessie and Gideon due?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Any minute. I think I got a funny wire from her. It did?

[JC Dithers]

Hey, what's that?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, the front door. Yeah, I wonder if. Oh. Oh, it's Aunt Bessie.

[Aunt Bessie]

Was that you, Blondie Bumpstead?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Of course. Oh, I'm so glad to see you, Aunt Bessie. Here, Dagwoods, help her with her bags. Come right in.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Hello, Aunt Betsy.

[Aunt Bessie]

Oh, I like to have gone right on by. What, with no lights or anything? What's the matter with the lights?

[Blondie Bumstead]

They'll be turned on soon. Look out for that trunk. Your dad would put her bags by the trunk just for now. Come on in, dear.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Gosh, five bags. It looks like you've left home for good, Aunt Bessie.

[Gideon Sneevle]

And so I have too.

[Mr. Stipple]

Huh?

[Blondie Bumstead]

What?

[Aunt Bessie]

I say, and so I have left home.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Not that I'd call that ugly big barn of a house.

[Aunt Bessie]

Home was bad enough when I was.

[Gideon Sneevle]

To live with my family.

[Aunt Bessie]

And they used to sit around like.

[Gideon Sneevle]

It was awake waiting for Gideon Sneevle.

[Aunt Bessie]

To come and claim me.

[Gideon Sneevle]

13 years awaited, as you well know, Blondie.

[Aunt Bessie]

And if I'd a known what was in store for me, I'd have waited till doomsday, for I'd have trusted my life to that man.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

You mean Uncle Gideon?

[Gideon Sneevle]

That's who I married, ain't it?

[Aunt Bessie]

Or better or worse, I took him. And how was I to know how much worse it would turn out to be?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, dear, you. You've quarreled with Mr. Sneevle.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, I thought you had just come back from your honeymoon.

[Aunt Bessie]

And so we had. But when a man deserts his bride, the honeymoon is over.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Uncle Gideon deserted you?

[Aunt Bessie]

Well, he's off on another trip.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Packed up his samples of anchors and lit out. And good riddance to rubbish too.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, well, maybe it's just a business trip.

[Gideon Sneevle]

I don't care what it is. He won't find me waiting when he gets back.

[Aunt Bessie]

Oh, I was mighty glad to get.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Your wire inviting me here.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah, but we kind of wanted you and Uncle Gideon both.

[Aunt Bessie]

Well, of course, if I'm not welcome.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Now, Aunt Bessie, Dagwood doesn't mean that at all. Well, it's just that we thought you and Uncle Gideon both being here would make this a real honeymoon cottage. Oh, dear. What made Uncle Gideon leave home?

[Gideon Sneevle]

Well, he laid it to Horace and Sylvester. You know, Aunt Gracie's boys.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh. Oh yes. Where did he meet them?

[Gideon Sneevle]

They dropped past the house for a little visit and at first. But I wouldn't melt in Gideon's mouth. He was that polite. The boys took to him so well, they decided to stay as well.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

You mean they moved in with you?

[Gideon Sneevle]

Well, it ain't as if it was a small house. There's eight bedrooms in that place of Sneevels. And that I pointed out to him when he began his grumbling. But he says to me, why can't Sylvester sleep in a bedroom? Then instead of my favorite chair, he says, oh, I see.

[Blondie Bumstead]

What else did Sylvester do?

[Gideon Sneevle]

Not a blessed thing. I guess that's why Sneevle didn't take so kindly to him after a while. Sylvester does a lot of thinking and he can't do it so good unless he's lying down.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

What does he think about?

[Gideon Sneevle]

About what he's going to be in life. He says it's a serious thing to pick out a career. He's been thinking about it ever since he was 21 and he can't make up his mind yet.

[Blondie Bumstead]

That's quite a long while, Aunt Bessie.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Well, Sylvester's just turned 45.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

He certainly gave it careful consideration.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Poor boy. He's all wore out from the thinking and the worrying. And that Sneevle never would let him be. Why, when Sneevle went off to work mornings he'd complain that Sylvester was a snoring on the living room couch. And when he'd come home to lunch, he'd make him get up and come to the table. And when he come home at night, he'd complain that Sylvester was taking his afternoon nap in his chair. Never give the boy a minute's peace.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, maybe if Sylvester had shown a little more energy.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Don't you believe it. Horace had energy and to speak. And Sneevle got mad at Horace too.

[Blondie Bumstead]

What did Horace do?

[Gideon Sneevle]

Just tried to be helpful is all. He fixed Gideon's car for him. At least he tried to.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

What went wrong?

[Gideon Sneevle]

Well, seems like the gears on the car was making a noise. So Horace up and took him out and putted round and put em back. Worked like a beaver on it. But Gideon Sneevel complained that when he was through, the car wouldn't run no way but backwards. He backed it out and it backed around the block and it backed back back into the garage. And his language was a caution to hear. That's why he packed up and left out on a train.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Guys that's too bad. Well, you can stay here tonight, Aunt Bessie, anyway. And then go visit your own folks awhile, huh?

[Gideon Sneevle]

And let them say to my face.

[Aunt Bessie]

That after wishing for a man for 13 years up and made a fizzle with my marriage, I'll die before I ever go home.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, don't worry about it tonight, Aunt Bessie. You can stay here and rest for a while.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

She can. But this isn't our house, Blondie. It's Mr. Dithers and.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Please, Dagwood, not now.

[Aunt Bessie]

No, let him go on. I know I ain't wanted here nowhere.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Now, Aunt Betty.

[Aunt Bessie]

The whole family couldn't wait to get me off the hands. Gideon as much as turned me out the door. And all you fidding about my going before I even took off my hat. Well, Aunt Vicky, nobody wants a lone woman. That's how it is.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Now, that isn't true a bit. You come on upstairs with me and lie down.

[Aunt Bessie]

Just a burden to one and all.

[Blondie Bumstead]

That's.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

No, no. You're welcome with us, Aunt Bessie.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Of course you are.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Come on, Ma.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Would you like a nice cup of tea?

[Aunt Bessie]

Oh, don't go to no trouble for me.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, it won't take a minute to make.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah, not after the gas gets turned on.

[Aunt Bessie]

No gas.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Please, Aunt Bessie. Please. Come on upstairs and lie down. My goodness, you're all sick.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Your relatives. Oh, golly. I hope that isn't Dithers. Who is that? Wait till I turn up the lantern, bumpsheet. Huh?

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Where is she?

[Gideon Sneevle]

Who?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Why, it's Uncle Gideon. Shh.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Where's Bessie? Now, don't tell me she ain't here, bumpshead. I found this on the doorstep. A bird cage with her lovebirds in it, of course. She left the parrot for me to feed.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I guess I forgot to bring that cage in with her bag.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

What is all this stuff in the hall?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, a trunk and stuff. Come on in, Mr. Snievel. What's the matter with the lights? They're going to turn them on pretty soon, I think.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

I don't like the looks of this, Bumpstead.

[Mr. Stipple]

What have you done with Bessie?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I haven't done anything with her. She just went upstairs with Blondie. She's pretty mad at you.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Well, I've come to have it out with her once and for all. A pretty kettle of fish, this is.

[Styles Mackenzie]

We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Stiles McKenzie helping you make those rooms sing.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

2.

[Styles Mackenzie]

Today's Style Tip. When it comes to making a Statement. Treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic Farmhouse table. From Wayfair.com. this has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Wayfair. Every style, every home.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Where'll I put this anchor?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Anchor? Oh, one of your samples.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Certainly it's a sample. I brought it to prove it was a business trip I was on.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, well, let's see. Oh, we'll put it here in the hole with the other stuff. That must be pretty heavy to lug around.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Not as heavy as my heart Bumpstead. There I was, a happy married man when a snake crept into my Eden. Two snakes. Sylvester and Horace Dagworth.

[Blondie Bumstead]

What's going on down there?

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Don't say I'm here yet. I want to confront Bessie.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

What good will that do?

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Maybe if I take her by surprise, I can get in a word or two before she starts talking.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

She was crying when she went upstairs.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Oh, she always does that when she runs out of talk. She knows I can't stand it, dad.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Wood, why don't you answer me?

[Aunt Bessie]

Maybe he can't speak. He's unconscious down there in the dark. Oh, I felt it in my bones. Something was going to happen.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

She got her voice back.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah. You sure you want to stay? They'll be down in a minute.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

I'll just stand back here in the shadows.

[Mr. Stipple]

Back of the couch.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Okay.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Dagwood Plumstead. Who was that at the door? Why, what. What's this anchor doing here?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Just lying there.

[Aunt Bessie]

An anchor? Oh, that means Nevo. He's followed me. Don't let him take me, Blondie.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Now, Aunt Bessie, maybe he's come to make up with you.

[Aunt Bessie]

Then he's wasting time. I give him the best years of my life.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Oh, is that so?

[Aunt Bessie]

There he is, eavesdropping.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Now, Bessie, listen.

[Aunt Bessie]

Lurking in the shadows.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Sure. Stop, lurk and listen. That's my motto. Oh, now, let's be sensible.

[Aunt Bessie]

Don't come no nearer. Gideon Sneeville. Oh, stop him, Blondie.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Now, Aunt Bessie, no one's going to harm you. Why not listen and hear why Mr. Sneeble's come here?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Sure, Aunt Bessie. Be reasonable.

[Aunt Bessie]

Oh, I'm unreasonable, am I? Because I won't listen to his smooth tongue. Well, let me tell you that I've been listening for years. And I believed him, too. I was just fool enough to think he meant it when he said he'd give me a good home.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

I did give you a good home. But I didn't promise a home for your whole Family. Especially Sylvester and Horace.

[Aunt Bessie]

Those termites don't make it any worse by. Curse him, Gideon.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Sneebles, isn't there any way of patching this up?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah, if those fellows would leave.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Leave?

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Sylvester wouldn't get off that couch if the house was on fire. I tried it.

[Aunt Bessie]

Yes, he frightened me out of my wits one morning, hollering fire.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Yes, and all Sylvester said was which room. And I said the kitchen was in flames. And Sylvester said, well, when it gets close to here, call Horace and ask him to carry me out.

[Aunt Bessie]

I won't sit here and listen to no more lies. I'll go out into the night again.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Now, Aunt Bessie.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

No, she won't have to go. I'll go. Hand me that anchor. And those love birds.

[Aunt Bessie]

Don't lay so much as a finger on those birds. They're mine now.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Uncle Gideon, give Aunt Bessie the bird.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Stagwood, you keep out of this.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Who paid for those birds, I'd like to know.

[Aunt Bessie]

There he goes, throwing his money in my face.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, where's my hat? It's upstairs, Aunt.

[Aunt Bessie]

Let me be, Blondie. This is what I get for Marion beneath me. I was too young to know what I was doing.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

You mean you was too old to care.

[Aunt Bessie]

Oh, as false, Gideon Stevle, as false as your. As your second best teeth.

[JC Dithers]

You leave my teeth out of there.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Keep him away from me.

[Aunt Bessie]

Don't let him.

[JC Dithers]

Mr. Sneevle, wait. No wife of mine can talk that.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Way about my teeth.

[JC Dithers]

What about that transformation you wear?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, doctor, dear.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Lock the front door, Dagwood. Don't let anybody in.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

You'd better not go up there, Blondie.

[Blondie Bumstead]

I've got to, Dagwood.

[Aunt Bessie]

And keep them quiet. Goodness. That may be Mr. Dithers at the door.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, no, I hope not. Oh, Sam, it is. Oh. Welcome to honeymoon cottage.

[JC Dithers]

What was all that yelling I heard?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

The honeymooners.

[JC Dithers]

What?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

It's Aunt Bessie and Uncle Gideon. They had a little misunderstanding.

[JC Dithers]

Now, listen to me, Bumpstead. Oh, my force. What the.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Was that?

[JC Dithers]

I fell over.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Just an anchor.

[JC Dithers]

An anchor? What was that doing in the hall? What was this trunk here for and all this luggage? Why don't you turn on some lights?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, they'll be on any minute now.

[JC Dithers]

I think I distinctly told you, Bumpstead. That stepper wanted warm, soft light streaming from the windows. I find the house dark as a smuggler's cave. I told you. Like romance. And I find the hall full of luggage as if someone was being evicted. I said Stipple wanted to see a happy couple sitting in contentment. Before their own fireside and I find the place full of your relatives making the night hideous with their uproar.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, they'll quiet down.

[JC Dithers]

Listen to that. Now, get those people out of here, Bump said, before I turn in a riot call.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yes, sir, but let me explain.

[JC Dithers]

You can explain that in the morning. Stipples coming tonight. And it'll look fishy if I'm here or try to head him off. He'll be here any minute. And if he stumbles into the shambles it'll cure him of romance forever and lose me a good customer and cause you a bad headache, bumpshead.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I got a little headache now.

[JC Dithers]

Well, you practice getting used to that one, Bumpstead. Because unless you get me out of this quicker than you got me into it, you're going to be a seducate.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Hey, wait.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, golly.

[JC Dithers]

Hey, Bondi.

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[Blondie Bumstead]

Blondie.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Blondie, hurry up, will you?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Yes, dear. Here I am. Oh, did Mr. Dithers go so soon?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

He didn't go any too soon for me. He was pretty mad, blondie. He said Mr. Stipple would just be rambling onto a. Stumbled. Stumbling onto a. Something like that.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, dear. Did he hear Bessie and Gideon?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, how could he help it? What was that crash? Who threw what at who?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, that wasn't anything. I just dropped a bottle of cologne I was bathing Aunt Bessie's forehead with. She has a bad headache.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

You mean she is a headache now, Dagwood.

[Blondie Bumstead]

It's just that they're getting adjusted to marriage after living alone so many years. I feel sorry for them both right now.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Maybe I'd feel sorry for them if I had time. But Stipple will be here any minute looking for a romantic honeymoon couple sitting by the hearth and we haven't got one.

[Blondie Bumstead]

I know And I feel responsible because it's my Aunt Bessie. Oh. Oh, look, Dagwood. The little hall lights burning. The electricity must be on.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Turn it out. If Stipples sees a lot of lighted windows, he'll be here like a shot. He's crazy about it. Hey, who's that standing in the hall?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Why, Uncle Gideon.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, eavesdropping again, huh?

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

I'm afraid I was. Do I understand that my disagreement with Bessie has embarrassed you young people?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I'll say, Dagwood. Well, it has. My whole job depends on it. Maybe. See, there's a fellow coming who thinks marriage is a fine thing. A.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

A bachelor, huh?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah. Huh?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, yes, but he has a lovely idea, Uncle Gideon. He wants to provide low cost homes for couples where they can find peace and contentment. Little houses like this, just for two.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Just for two. Good idea. My marriage might not be the wreck it is if I'd had a guest proof home. If I could help in any way.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, you could by being the example of a happy married couple. Only you need Aunt Bessie to.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Then it's hopeless, my boy.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, is that so? Why, may I ask, Aunt Bessie? You were listening, too.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Yes, I was. And if I were speaking to Mr. Sneeble, I would tell him that I was just as able to cooperate with my nephew as he is.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Did you hear that, Uncle Gideon? She said.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

I heard her. You may tell Mrs. Sneeble that I, for one, would be willing to impersonate a happily married man for the period of the emergency.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Aunt Betsy, Uncle Gideon. I heard him.

[Gideon Sneevle]

I can hide my feelings, too. All the company's here.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, I think that's very nice of you both. Now, while I'm turning on the lamps, would you sit together over by the fire?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah, right over here.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Come on.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Look, Blondie, the fire's beginning to burn.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Everything's looking a little brighter, Dagwig. Now, sit down, Aunt Jessie.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah. Now, you sit next to Uncle Gideon. Now, how does that look, Blondie?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, it would look a little more honeymoony if they wouldn't sit up quite so straight.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

And there's too much space between them. Get together? Get together.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Well, if you'll be good enough to tell Mrs. Sneeble that I don't want to force my attentions on her. I'll meet her halfway.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, listen, Aunt Bessie, he says I heard him.

[Gideon Sneevle]

And you tell Mr. Sneeble that he can just sit as close as he likes and I'll just make out to myself I'm on a hayride with a stranger.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, no, Aunt Jessie. Pretend you're still in love.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Don't be childish.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Listen. That's him. That's Dipple.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Now it's now or never, Aunt Betty. Oh, please help us. Give Uncle Gideon your hand.

[Gideon Sneevle]

For you, Blondie. There.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Good. Now look happy.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah, look at the fire and smile or something. I've got to open this door.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Go ahead, Dagworth.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, hello, Mr. Snipple. You're just in time. I mean, you know me. Sure, Mr. Dithers. Sam.

[Mr. Stipple]

Oh, yes. Such a kindly character, Mr. Dithers.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Is that so? I mean, sure. Come on in.

[Mr. Stipple]

Oh, are you sure I won't be intruding into your happy circle?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, no, indeed. We've heard so much about you. I feel as if you were an old friend already.

[Mr. Stipple]

You're very kind. Now I feel welcome. But I mustn't stay. It's enough that I have seen this happy home been allowed for just a moment to cross its magic threshold, step into a world of content.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, don't run away so soon.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

There.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Why, you haven't seen the place yet.

[Mr. Stipple]

Look over over by the fire.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Honeymooners.

[Mr. Stipple]

Ah.

[Blondie Bumstead]

And they want to meet you. We all do. I'm Blondie, and this is my husband, Dagger Bumpkit. And this is Aunt Bessie and Uncle Gideon Sneevle.

[Mr. Stipple]

Good evening.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Please, I'm sure.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

How do you do?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Now, won't you sit with us by the fire?

[Mr. Stipple]

Oh, I. I mustn't disturb the happy couple. They were seeing castles in Spain in the embers, I'm sure. Dreaming of their future together.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, I would.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Maybe Mr. Stipple is right and the rest of us wrong.

[Mr. Stipple]

I beg pardon?

[Blondie Bumstead]

I mean. Well, you've never had a home of your own, have you, Mr. Stiffle? A real home, I mean, with a wife?

[Mr. Stipple]

No, I. I never have.

[Blondie Bumstead]

But perhaps you know more about what a home means than people who do have one.

[Mr. Stipple]

You understand so well, little lady.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Blondie's great at understanding people.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Just the same, I. I think it might be a good thing if Mr. Stipple told us what he thinks a home should be.

[Mr. Stipple]

Oh, well, I. It seems to me that a home need not be a large place. Never any larger than just big enough to hold the people in it close together. Its walls shut out the world and its troubles. The fire on its hearth, no matter how tiny a blaze, keeps out the cold and warms the hearts around it. A real home is a place where a man and a woman face life together. Face it unafraid, laughing at misunderstanding, inviting contentment, finding beauty in the simple act of living. Day by day. Oh, but I mustn't take up any more of your time.

[Blondie Bumstead]

I think you've given us more than you've taken.

[Mr. Stipple]

Oh, but you all know better than I what I've been trying to say. You all have a home while I. Well, I just peer in at the lighted window and wish you happiness. Oh, dear me, it's quite late. I really must go. Ah, another wayfarer attracted by the gleam of your fire upstairs.

[JC Dithers]

What makes it so quiet in here?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Why, Mr. Stipple was just telling me.

[JC Dithers]

Mr. Stipple?

[Mr. Stipple]

Well, well, well.

[JC Dithers]

You got here, I said.

[Mr. Stipple]

Most happy to say that I did. I've met the most charming people.

[JC Dithers]

Ah, the Bumpsteads, you mean.

[Mr. Stipple]

Oh, and their relatives, Aunt Bessie and Uncle Gideon Bumpshead.

[JC Dithers]

Where are they?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Right over there. The ones holding hands.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Those two?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Uh huh.

[Mr. Stipple]

By the fire. Perhaps you're surprised to find a honeymoon couple who are not young people. But they're all the happier to find each other later in life. It's not only for the young. I want to build my little homes, Mr. Dithers.

[JC Dithers]

Oh, you've decided to go ahead with your idea?

[Mr. Stipple]

Oh, yes, indeed. This house is what I've been looking for all along. Why, it's perfect. It's so snug, so peaceful.

[JC Dithers]

Peaceful? Oh, yes, yes, indeed. Maybe if we're going to talk business, we ought to go over to the office.

[Mr. Stipple]

I was about to suggest it. Good night to you all. And I do thank you so much for a happy visit.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Good night.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Good night. Oh, Mr. Dithers, before you go tomorrow.

[JC Dithers]

Bumper says, don't you worry. I won't forget what you've done for me. I don't know how you did it.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, I guess everything's all right, Dagwood.

[Mr. Stipple]

Yeah.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Dithers sounded as pleased as he ever does. Hey, Aunt Bessie. Uncle Gideon.

[Blondie Bumstead]

They've gone, Aunt Bessie.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

But don't start yelling again, aunt Bessie, until Mr. Stipple is out of hearing.

[Aunt Bessie]

I don't feel much like yelling.

[Gideon Sneevle]

That man made me. Well, kind of ashamed. Me with a fine man like Gideon and treating him the way I have.

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Now, Bessie, it was all my fault. Taking you to that big barn of a house and getting all excited because you had a few of your folks drop in.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Suppose you move to a small house, a cozy little place like this.

[Gideon Sneevle]

Oh, Gideon, could we?

[Uncle Gideon Sneevle]

Could we? We have. From now on, we live here, Bessie.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, Dagwoods, looks as though it's our move next. Come on.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Huh.

[Blondie Bumstead]

The honeymooners want to be alone. Come, dear. We'll pick up our things in the morning. Good night. This evening, Gideon.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

They don't even hear you, Blondie.

[Blondie Bumstead]

No?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Look at them.

[Blondie Bumstead]

It would do Stipple good to see them now. Yeah. Sitting in front of that fireplace.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah, that's a nice fireplace. That's our regular 4:13 a. The hearth where happy hearts will spend a lifelong honeymoon.

[Camel Cigarettes Announcer]

Blondie is played by Penny Singleton and Dagwood by Arthur Lake. Whose new Columbia picture, Blondie Brings a Baby will soon be released. So till next Monday, we leave the bumps deads, Blondie and Dagwood. But the makers of Camel cigarettes have other radio treats for you during the week. Tomorrow night, over these same stations. You can listen to the music of Bob Crosby. And the best Dixieland band in the land. With Johnny Mercer and Helen Ward. And if you like swing, well, you'd better make a date with your radio for Saturday night. When Benny Goodman and the world's Greatest swing band with Mildred Bailey bring you another musical caravan. That's a tip. For your radio pleasure and for your smoking pleasure. Let us suggest that you try Camels. You'll find more pleasure per puff. More puffs per pack. This is Bill Goodwin spoke speaking for the makers of Camel cigarettes. Good night. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.