Blondie 40-04-15 (042) Jack and The Beanstalk

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Blondie 40-04-15 (042) Jack and The Beanstalk

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: October 3, 2025
Original Air Date of Radio Play: April 15, 1940
Featured Characters: Blondie Bumstead, Dagwood Bumstead, Baby Dumpling, Mr. Mayapple

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Episode Overview

This "Blondie" episode, originally broadcast in April 1940, centers on the Bumstead family's spring gardening ambitions, interwoven with fairy-tale whimsy inspired by "Jack and the Beanstalk." As Dagwood dreams of horticultural success and Baby Dumpling clamors for a bedtime story, the family is visited by the charming but suspicious Mr. Mayapple, a traveling plant salesman. The episode playfully blurs the line between reality and fantasy as Dagwood’s subconscious brings "Jack and the Beanstalk" vividly to life in a dream sequence full of beans, giants, and magic.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Highlights

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1. The Bumstead's Spring Fever and Gardening Plans

• [01:54] The setting opens with the family grappling with springtime drowsiness and Baby Dumpling's request for a "fairy tale book."
• [02:31] Blondie: “If they're like the seed catalogs we had last year, they're full of fairy tales, too.”
• The family jokes about last year’s failed gardening efforts, with Dagwood’s ill-fated crossbreeding experiment giving only “Bumpstead’s Blunder Baby.”
• [03:52] Dagwood unveils his ambitious but thoroughly original garden plan, combining vegetables and flowers and recruiting Baby Dumpling's help.
• [05:58] Baby Dumpling persists in wanting to raise “rabbits,” leading to a running gag about what can—or should—be grown in the garden.

2. Seed Catalogs, Trust and ‘Gypsy Gardeners’

• [07:02] Blondie: Warns Dagwood about new, unproven sellers, advocating for the reliability of familiar suppliers.
• [08:00] Blondie: Mentions magazine articles about fraudulent "gypsy gardeners," setting the stage for the episode’s central swindle.

3. Arrival of Mr. Mayapple – The Touring Salesman

• [09:26] Enter Mr. Mayapple, pitching his “Mayapple system” and “UpSidaisy” plant food, exuding an odd mixture of charm and eccentricity.
  • [09:43] Mr. Mayapple: “They burgeon, Mr. Bumstead.”
  • [10:29] Mr. Mayapple: “Upsidaisy is my name for the most wonderful plant food. My own invention.”
• Mr. Mayapple offers a “truckload” of plants and “bean of tomorrow” marbles at a “bargain,” pressuring Dagwood into a too-good-to-be-true late-night deal.

4. Blondie’s Suspicion and the Cautionary Tale

• [14:13] After Dagwood makes the deal, Blondie reads him the previously mentioned magazine article, which describes the very scam Mr. Mayapple just pulled.
  • [14:45] Blondie: “The idea is that these men pretend to know all about flowers and they get in with amateur gardeners by telling them how much they love flowers.”
• Dagwood, realizing he’s possibly been duped, tries to nonchalantly dispose of the “magic beans.”

5. "Jack and the Beanstalk" Storytime & Dream Sequence

• [17:17] Blondie reads "Jack and the Beanstalk" to Baby Dumpling, while Dagwood half-listens and dozes off.
• [20:10] With the help of the Sandman, Dagwood enters a surreal dream where he is surrounded by talking beans and encounters fantasy versions of Mr. Mayapple and Baby Dumpling.
  • [21:06] Baby Dumpling (as a bean): “I, sir, am one of a family of smooth kidney shaped edible seeds…”
  • There's whimsy and wordplay as the dream mirrors Dagwood's anxieties and the fairy tale's plot.

6. Inside the Dream: The Beanstalk and the Giant

• [22:25] Dagwood meets a magical harp (Blondie) and a hen (Baby Dumpling) who lays golden eggs, avoiding capture by a comically menacing giant (Mr. Mayapple).
  • [23:43] Baby Dumpling (as hen): “Nobody here but us chickens.”
  • [25:22] Mr. Mayapple (as giant): “Fee fo, fum. Who's in my henhouse?”

7. Awakening and Resolution

• [26:28] Dagwood falls out of bed, awakening from his dream.
  • [26:32] Blondie: "You're in your own bedroom, Dagwood. And it's time to get up."
• The confusion between dream and reality persists briefly, but the episode ends cheerfully: the plants and Mr. Mayapple are real after all, and the family is ready to work together in the garden.
  • [27:44] Dagwood (to Baby Dumpling): “Good morning. I’m glad you’re not a hen anymore.”

8. Final Reflections & Optimism

• The entire family expresses hope and excitement for their new garden.
  • [28:09] Baby Dumpling: “This year we really will have a garden, won’t we, Daddy?”
  • [28:43] Blondie: “Oh, I bet we have a lovely garden this year.”
  • [28:47] Dagwood: “I bet it will be the best garden on Shady Lane Avenue.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Seed Catalog Satire:
  • [02:31] Blondie: “If they're like the seed catalogs we had last year, they're full of fairy tales, too.”
• On Plant Names:
  • [07:18] Dagwood: “Why don’t they just say daisy and be done with it? Golly. Now look at this name... Funkia, Plantagenia, Grandiflora...”
• Caution Over Garden Scams:
  • [14:45] Blondie: “The idea is that these men pretend to know all about flowers and they get in with amateur gardeners by telling them how much they love flowers.”
  • [15:34] Dagwood: “I've got to open that window. It's hot in here.” (Trying to cover his embarrassment.)
• Dream Sequence Whimsy:
  • [21:06] Baby Dumpling (bean): “I, sir, am one of a family of smooth kidney shaped edible seeds…”
  • [22:32] Dagwood: “All I see is a harp.”
  • [23:43] Baby Dumpling (hen): “Nobody here but us chickens.”
  • [25:22] Mr. Mayapple (giant): “Fee fo, fum. Who's in my henhouse?”
• Meta-Humor:
  • [26:41] Dagwood: “Hey, Blondie, you know what? I just had a sponsored dream.”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:00 – 01:54: Opening narration and family scene
• 02:31 – 05:52: Dagwood’s garden planning antics
• 07:02 – 08:29: Seed catalogs and warning about garden scammers
• 09:26 – 12:34: Mr. Mayapple's arrival and dubious sales pitch
• 14:13 – 16:15: Blondie reads the exposé on gardening swindlers
• 17:17 – 18:47: Storytime leads to Dagwood drifting into sleep
• 20:10 – 26:28: Dream sequence: Jack and the Beanstalk parody
• 26:32 – End: Awakening, morning optimism, family ready for garden

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Conclusion & Tone

This episode is a classic blend of screwball humor, gentle satire, and family warmth, true to the "Blondie" radio show's spirit. The surreal dream sequence lampoons both old fairy tales and modern pitfalls like mail-order scams, while the ending circles back to hope, togetherness, and the promise of spring. Dagwood’s lovable gullibility and Blondie’s wisdom play off each other perfectly, offering listeners both laughs and a nostalgic peek at Depression-era domestic dreams.

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Transcript

[Mr. Mayapple]

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

[Radio Announcer]

Don't touch that dial. This is the time when the makers of Camel cigarettes bring you Blondie.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, shit.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Would. Huh?

[Radio Announcer]

The makers of Camel cigarettes C A M E L cigarettes bring you Blondie. And now, before we drop over to the Bumstead house to visit Chick Young's famous characters, Blondie and Dagwood, a word from the makers of Camel cigarettes. This is a bit of news you may have heard before. But if you haven't applied it to your own individual case, then believe me, it's worthwhile listening to again. It's the report of a group of research scientists who conducted a series of tests on the burning speeds of various cigarettes. In recent laboratory tests, 16 of the largest selling cigarette brands were compared. And it was found that Camel cigarettes burned slowest of all. 25% slower than the average of the other brands tested. Yes, Camels, the cigarette of costlier tobaccos, are definitely slower burning. That means you don't come up against the irritating qualities of too fast burning. It means extra mildness and extra coolness. It means extra smoking in Camels, too. Equal on the average to five extra smokes per pack. Try Camels. Find out for yourself how slower burning Camels give more pleasure per puff and more puffs per pack. Penny for penny, Camels are your best cigarette buy. And now, as our weekly visit with the Bumsteads begins. We find the windows of their living room open to the soft air of an early spring evening. Maybe it's the weather. Or perhaps it's the hour that makes Baby Dumpling yawn hour.

[Baby Dumpling]

Oh, goodness, Baby kill me, Mommy. Oh. Oh, my. So I'm going to have to yawn too.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, excuse me.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Hey, listen, if you two are going to sit there and.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Excuse you, Dagwood, don't mention it. Maybe we'd better all go to bed.

[Baby Dumpling]

Oh, no. Mommy. You promised to read my new fairy tale book.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, you'll have to wait till your father's finished with it.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Huh? Me? Oh, I haven't got it. These are catalogs. Seed catalogs, honey.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, if they're like the seed catalogs we had last year, they're full of fairy tales, too.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah, all the radishes came up last year.

[Blondie Bumstead]

I know. We planted $10 worth of garden truck seeds and got 40 cents worth of radishes.

[Baby Dumpling]

You ought to read my book, Mommy. And it tells how to grow beans. Look at the pictures.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, yes, I see. Well, of course. Those were magic beans, baby.

[Baby Dumpling]

Where could we buy some magic beans, Mommy?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, I wish I knew. I'd buy Some for Daddy. Then he could have a garden without working so hard.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Aw, I don't mind working in the garden.

[Blondie Bumstead]

That's what you said last spring, Dagwood. But by June, the weeds were so high we couldn't see Daisy's dog house from the back window.

[Baby Dumpling]

You could see the lightning rod on it.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, that was because I kind of specialized last year. That grass grew up while I was experimenting with my idea for crossing corn with beans. Oh, I bet you'd have been pretty proud if I'd invented a sock tash plant.

[Blondie Bumstead]

What was that? That finally came up.

[Baby Dumpling]

Mr. Floodle called it Bumpsteads Blunder Baby.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

No telling what it might have been. Fluddled's rabbit got it before it was 6 inches high. I always thought maybe that was sabotage.

[Baby Dumpling]

Can I have a rabbit, Daddy?

[Sandman]

No.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Read your book, baby.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Maybe this year we ought to try having just flowers.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, we'll have flowers. I've got it all worked out right here on paper, where everything will be. See? It's kind of a map.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Let's see, dear. Is this our yard?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, yeah. I figured to have it a formal garden this year. Something like the one around City hall, only more original. Now, for instance, see this here?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, the dagwood.

[Baby Dumpling]

A bird there.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Why, no, honey. That's the cabbage.

[Blondie Bumstead]

The cabbage?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Uh huh. We don't eat much cabbage. I figure one is enough.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, it certainly would be if it grew that big.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, it wasn't drawn to scale.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Where are you going to get those two trees?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

How's that? The trees?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Yeah.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, those are tomato plants, dear. A beef steak. Tomato.

[Baby Dumpling]

Can I have some lettuce?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Why, baby dumpling, I have to beg you to eat lettuce?

[Baby Dumpling]

That's not for me. If I had lettuce, I could feed a rabbit. If I had a rabbit.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Look, you're not getting any rabbit.

[Blondie Bumstead]

And if you did get a rabbit, it could help us eat the cabbage.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I'm not raising that cabbage for rabbit food.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, goodness, Dadwood, don't be so bitter about rabbits. They're kind of cute.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah. Rabbits trampling down all the flowers around my cabbage.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, are those flowers around the cabbage?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Sure, that's where the form. See, I have an ornamental border around all the different vegetables.

[Baby Dumpling]

Oh, look, right here.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

See? Parsley around the beefsteak, tomatoes and violets around the cabbage.

[Blondie Bumstead]

But Dagwood, most people have the vegetables in one place and the flowers in another.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, that's where our garden will be original. See, this way, baby duckling can enjoy looking at the geraniums while he's hoeing the corn. Sure, baby. Daddy's going to let you help him this year. Won't that be swell, huh? Raising your own stuff to e a big pumpkin. And Mommy will make it into a.

[Baby Dumpling]

Pie and you'll eat it, huh, Daddy.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

And I'll eat it, huh, Daddy? No, no, baby, we'll all eat it.

[Blondie Bumstead]

See, I don't think baby's very excited about raising a pumpkin, Dagwood. They take so long to grow.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, what would you like to raise, Baby dumplings?

[Baby Dumpling]

Rabbits?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

No, no rabbits. You're going to be in charge of the vegetables.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Now why are you so set on babies going in for garden truck, Dagwig?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

It's educational. Now look at all the famous men who were raised on a farm.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, well, if it's educational, we'll have to find a way to get him interested.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, I know. Read him that book I brought home. Boy, that's a very exciting story about vegetables.

[Blondie Bumstead]

You mean Jack and the Beanstalk?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Uh huh. Wait till you see what Jack did. Baby Dumpling. Starting in with just a little handful of beans.

[Baby Dumpling]

Okay, Daddy, read it. Now, Molly.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well I tell you. You run up and get ready for bed, Baby Dumpling, then Mommy will read it to you.

[Baby Dumpling]

Okay, Molly. I hope it's as good as the picture, Sam.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

It's a funny thing. Baby knows that a story can be just make believe. But he thinks anything he sees in.

[Blondie Bumstead]

A picture is so maybe he takes after his father.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, sure, everyone says it. Hey, how's that?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, you like the seed catalogs with the colored pictures desk, don't you?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, gosh, honey, this catalog is from a new firm.

[Blondie Bumstead]

And that's just it. If you're going to buy plants, I think you'd better deal with an old firm like the standard nurseries.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, their catalog isn't any good. Just all big words and little pictures. Listen, you know what a Bella's Parentis is?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Why yes, it's kind of a daisy.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well then why don't they just say daisy and be done with it? Golly. Now look at this name. Look at this one right here. Funkia, Plantagenia, Grandiflora. Oh, those standard nurseries. Just like they just think they're smart, that's all. Oh no, it is.

[Blondie Bumstead]

There are so many different kinds of flowers in one family that they have to have different names like our own family does. Stagwood, Bumpstead and Blondie. Bumpstead and Baby Dumplin. Bumps did?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Uh huh. But suppose we went around calling Baby Dumpling Infantasiosus Dumplina Bubsteady Aurorium. What would that get us, huh?

[Blondie Bumstead]

All right, Dagworth, all I'm saying is that if you want things to grow, buy them from people you know are reliable.

[Baby Dumpling]

Oh.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, Dagwood, that reminds me. Did you read that article about the fakers that are going around?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Going around where?

[Baby Dumpling]

Everywhere.

[Blondie Bumstead]

They have a lot of old weeds that they claim are valuable plants, and they make all kinds of promises and nests.

[Baby Dumpling]

I'm ready to get grand, too. I'm coming, baby Dumplin.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Look, I'll bring down the article for you to read, Dagwood. Of course, by the time people discover how they've been cheated, the fakers are miles away. They call them gypsy gardeners.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Gypsy gardeners, huh?

[Baby Dumpling]

Uh huh.

[Blondie Bumstead]

With the accent on the gypsy. Yes, dear.

[Baby Dumpling]

I'm coming.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, they couldn't fool me. I can tell a gypsy by the earrings. Hmm. Now, let's see. What else is in the catalog? Onions. Onions, huh? Spring onions. Boy, those look good. Speaking of onions, I think I'll step into the kitchen and make a little onion sandwich to kind of settle my dinner. Look at this name. Lilliam's Plesiosum. Melopum Melpomene. And it's nothing in the world but another lily. Guess I'll have another slice of onionorium with vitambratio. Some intorio. The doratus. I thought maybe it was a friend of mine.

[Mr. Mayapple]

I hope we will be friends with Bumpstead, isn't it? I'm Mayapple.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah.

[Mr. Mayapple]

Miltiades Mayapple. The harbinger of spring.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

The what?

[Radio Announcer]

I sell flowers. The loveliest blooms that ever delighted the eye of man.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Do your plants grow?

[Sandman]

Grow?

[Mr. Mayapple]

They burgeon, Mr. Bumstead.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

They do, huh?

[Mr. Mayapple]

Oh, inevitably, Mr. Bumstead.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, look, I can't.

[Mr. Mayapple]

Of course, I'm only approaching real flower lovers in a better neighborhood just at the first.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah.

[Mr. Mayapple]

Yes, yes, indeed. I feel about my plantlets as though they were my own children. I want them to have a good home, you see. My part.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, I tell you now.

[Mr. Mayapple]

In fact, I'm afraid I continue to think of them as mine even after I have sold them. That's why I always come back to see how they're getting along.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

You come back to see if they're growing okay?

[Mr. Mayapple]

I suppose you think that's silly of me. Of course. They always do grow beautifully.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

They do, huh? Always.

[Mr. Mayapple]

Invariably. The mayapple system sees to that. With a mayapple seed, a shrub or plant, nothing goes wrong because it can't. Upsidaisy.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Upsy daisy.

[Mr. Mayapple]

That's the secret upsidaisy is my name for the most wonderful plant food. My own invention may. Apple products must produce gorgeous results, Mr. Bumstead, or you don't owe me a penny.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, that sounds pretty good to me. I'll come out to your place sometime and have a look around.

[Mr. Mayapple]

No, no, no, no, Mr. Bumstead. That's not the mayapple way. I bring the posies to you.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

How they.

[Mr. Mayapple]

I have a truck that's full of. Full of growing things right outside your door at this moment.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, well, it's pretty dark to see.

[Mr. Mayapple]

I know, and it's fearfully late. I don't want to drive that laden truck home. I tell you just what I'll do, Mr. Bumstead. I'll just sell the whole thing to you at a bargain price. $20.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

$20 for a truckload. Hey, what's on that truck?

[Mr. Mayapple]

Everything from asters to zinnias. Oh, well, I tell you, all yours for $20. And as a special introductory offer, I'll throw in mayapple seed packets, vegetables, you know, a complete truck garden from artichokes to zucchini for only $5 more.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, $5 more, huh?

[Mr. Mayapple]

But think, Mr. Bumstead. Everything to delight the eye, charm the nostrils, fill the inner man for a paltry $25.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, paltry chickens, too, huh?

[Mr. Mayapple]

Now, Mr. Bumpstead, we must remember that I return day after day, if need be, to lavish upon my father's care.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, you wouldn't have to come every day. What would you charge for a stepfather's care, huh?

[Mr. Mayapple]

You wound me, Mr. Bumstead. You do indeed. I simply cannot hang all over my plants. It's bad enough to part with them at all.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, no, no, no. Listen, don't break down. I'll buy the stuff.

[Mr. Mayapple]

You never regret it, sir.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, I'll take a sack of that Upsy Daisy stuff, too.

[Mr. Mayapple]

That'll be 35. $30 in all?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, we keep our petty cash in the old bean pot here.

[Mr. Mayapple]

Oh, here. Mr. Bumpstead's an extra premium for you. Apples, marbles, the bean of tomorrow, free to you.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Thanks. Hey, only got 29.50 here. Oh, I get you deals off. Oh, no, no, no, Mr. Bumstead.

[Mr. Mayapple]

I'll trust you for the difference.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Say, hey, thanks.

[Mr. Mayapple]

Not at all. Not at all. Now, I'll unload the things on your back porch and wait. Just wait till you see them, Tom.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Hey, blondie, open the window wide before you come to bed, huh?

[Blondie Bumstead]

I'll wait till we're ready to go to sleep, Dagwood. Baby might catch cold.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, how's he going to catch cold from our window?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, he's coming in to have me tell him more about Jack and the Beanstalk. And it's growing chilly. You know, these spring nights are treacherous.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, God, you don't think we'll have frost, do you?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Why, no, dear. Why?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, why all those plants out there.

[Blondie Bumstead]

What plants?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Out where? Oh, all the plants outdoors, everywhere.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Dagwood.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Huh?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Is there something you're trying to hide from me?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, well, a little surprise for the morning. And I don't go guessing.

[Blondie Bumstead]

If I didn't know everything was closed at night, I'd think you'd been buying something.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, you.

[Blondie Bumstead]

You didn't leave the house, did you?

[Sandman]

Oh, no, honey.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Come on to bed.

[Blondie Bumstead]

What are these things on your dresser?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, oh, just beans.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Beans?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

May. Apple marbles. Give them here.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh. Are you going to sleep with them under your pillow?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Maybe.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Dagwood, where did you get these beans?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, I'll tell you all about it in the morning.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Now, how much did you pay for those old dried up beans?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Not a cent. They're free kind of a sample.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, well, don't go buying anything from people who come to the door. Have you read that article I told you about in the magazine?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

No. Where is it?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Right here.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Look.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, here it is.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

You read it to me, honey. Oh, dear.

[Blondie Bumstead]

First I have to read to Baby Dumplin and now to you.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, the onions I ate made me sleepy.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Onions? You know, they make you dream. Well, anyways, it says here a new type of swindler is degrading the fine old art of horticulture.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

The what?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Some crooks are making a cheap racket out of the flower business.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Just give me the high spots, honey.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, the idea is that these men pretend to know all about flowers and they get in with amateur gardeners by telling them how much they love flowers.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Huh?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Yes. They make believe they have such fine plants that they can't bear to part with them.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, golly.

[Blondie Bumstead]

What's the matter?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, nothing. Just it's a coincidence, I guess. Go ahead, Blondie.

[Blondie Bumstead]

They travel in truck.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Trucks?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Why, yes. They bring the plants right to your door. Dagwood, something is the matter.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Or the onions I ate. Maybe the back door.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, I suppose so. The truck is loaded with old dried up twigs and things that they claim are just ready to bloom. If the customer suspects they're no good, the sharpers clean, they'll come back and see that they grow. Why, Dagwood, what are you getting?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I've got to open that window. It's Hot in here.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, well. And then these crooks sell whatever they have for whatever they can get.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

29.50.

[Blondie Bumstead]

What?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, I said they're pretty nifty. Boy, it is hot. This one that was stuffed.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Of course, the swindlers make the most money out of the sawdust they sell for plant food.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, upsy daisy.

[Blondie Bumstead]

What are you talking about?

[Baby Dumpling]

Dazzling.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I said upsy daisy to the window. Oh, there.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, well, now, come on back then.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah, just. Just a minute there.

[Blondie Bumstead]

What did you throw out of the window, Dagwood?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, it was those old tired beans. I don't guess they're much good now.

[Baby Dumpling]

That's what Jack's mother did, Daddy.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Jack who?

[Baby Dumpling]

Jack in the beanstalk. He threw some more beans out of the window, and, boy, did they grow.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, yeah. Well, I guess I'll get some sleep now. I want to be up early in the morning. Don't you get up when I do, blondie.

[Blondie Bumstead]

You want to get up first, aren't you? Well, Dagwood?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I'm all right. I'll tell you in the morning.

[Baby Dumpling]

Read me Jack in the Beanstalk again, Mommy.

[Blondie Bumstead]

If Daddy's so tired, maybe we just.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Better look over the pictures.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Now, come on, get your feet under the blankets.

[Baby Dumpling]

Okay, give me the pictures.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, here's Jack coming home after selling all they had and with nothing to show for it but some no good beans. Oh, are we disturbing you, Dagwood?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

No, I'm almost asleep.

[Baby Dumpling]

Go on, Molly.

[Blondie Bumstead]

And here's Jack's mother throwing the beans out the window. And here's a picture of the marvelous beanstalk that grew up overnight, higher than the clouds.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Up and up and up. Up she Daisy.

[Baby Dumpling]

What's the other.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Let him get to sleep.

[Blondie Bumstead]

And here's a picture of Jack climbing the beanstalk and meeting the giant.

[Baby Dumpling]

She was nice, man.

[Blondie Bumstead]

She certainly was, considering that he tried to steal the giant fairy harp that could both play and talk.

[Baby Dumpling]

The harp hollowed. Help. Help.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Baby.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Look.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Here's the giant saying, fee, fi, fo, fum. And look, here's the magic hen that could lay golden eggs.

[Baby Dumpling]

I can do like a hand wooly lesson. What? Do it again. Wow, baby dumpling.

[Blondie Bumstead]

That does sound something like a hen. Hey, hey, hen.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Listen. How's for laying a little golden egg, huh?

[Baby Dumpling]

Oh, I think Teddy's dreaming.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Uh huh.

[Baby Dumpling]

Dreaming. You Jack, Up. The bees, the dog. Uh.

[Radio Announcer]

If you were announcing over the air about Camel cigarettes and knew that a lot of people would be happier in their smoking if they took up Camels, I wonder what you'd say now. You take my case. My cigarette is Camel. And if I had to tell about just one feature of the Camels, I'd recommend Camels because they're slower burning. For that slower burning means so much. There are so many definite extras that go only with Camels. And slower burning. Extra mildness is one. And there's extra coolness too. While you can see that it's natural that the slower cigarette burns the cooler and milder the smoking. Also the extra flavor is very swell. You know, nothing interferes with cigarette flavor and aroma like too much heat from too fast burning. But with Camels it's just the opposite. Slow burning preserves the flavor of those costly tobaccos and Camels and lets it come through in the smoking. So there are three definite advantages in favor of slower burning Camels. Extra mildness, extra coolness and extra flavor. There's also extra smoking. In recent impartial laboratory tests, camels burn 25% slower than the average of the 15 other of the largest selling brands tested. Slower than any of them. And that means Camels give a smoking plus equal on the average to five extra smokes per pack. Slower burning Camels are penny for penny your best cigarette buy. And now, by a neat trick of radio legerdemain, we find ourselves in.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

In.

[Radio Announcer]

In Dagwood's dream.

[Mr. Mayapple]

Dagwood Bums to head.

[Sandman]

Calling Dagwood Bums to head.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Go away.

[Sandman]

Honestly, that's what I know.

[Baby Dumpling]

Who's that?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Captain Supper?

[Sandman]

No, this is the Sandman.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, what can I do for you, Sandy?

[Sandman]

Why'd you throw those beans out of the window?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Huh? Oh, I'll pick em up in the morning.

[Sandman]

Too late. Jaguar Bumstead.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Huh?

[Sandman]

If you don't know those were magic beans, why you don't know beings.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Were they really any good?

[Sandman]

Let's go down to the garden.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

No, no, listen. You see, I'm in bed now and. No, hey, no I'm not. I'm outdoors somewhere.

[Baby Dumpling]

Or to allocate your whereabouts more specifically, we may describe your situation as that of being in a garden.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Hey, who's that?

[Baby Dumpling]

I, sir, am one of a family of smooth kidney shaped edible seeds born severally in long pods by certain legumes.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

How's that?

[Mr. Mayapple]

In other words, it says it's one of the beans.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Golly, it certainly talks well for a bean.

[Mr. Mayapple]

Well, it's a Boston bean, you know.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, you don't see a slice of brown bread around, do you?

[Baby Dumpling]

Our traditional associate is absent, sir. We are not here in our edible but in our genitive capacity. Pray proceed.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Whatcha talking about?

[Mr. Mayapple]

Now the beans want to be planted.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, sure. Glad to oblige. I'll just throw a little loose earth over them, see? Now. Now what?

[Mr. Mayapple]

Just sprinkle a little of this upsidaisi over them and jump out of the way.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Jump? You mean they start growing right away?

[Mr. Mayapple]

Certainly. Upsidaisi. Works like magic. Try it.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Okay. That's a. One handful ought to do the trick, huh? There.

[Mr. Mayapple]

Look out.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Hey.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Hey. I'm caught in the branches. Help. Daisy certainly works fast. One minute I'm in my own garden, and now here I am. But where am I?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Sure, and be glory.

[Baby Dumpling]

The Lord must be dizzy to be after asking himself, where is he?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Hey, who's saying that?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Look at the tree and whatever ye see, lean in again.

[Baby Dumpling]

The birk. That's me.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

All I see is a harp.

[Baby Dumpling]

Well, what do ye think I am?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, I mean the kind of a harp you can play music on. Oh, a harp that can talk and play by itself.

[Baby Dumpling]

Oh.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Hey, you know, I bet Baby Dumpling would like that.

[Baby Dumpling]

Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. But even if I wanted to go, I couldn't.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Why not?

[Blondie Bumstead]

The giant has me under a spell.

[Baby Dumpling]

If anyone tortures me, I have to yell.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, this must be the giant's harp. Huh? Well, how loud can you yell? Oh, well, I guess the giant wouldn't hear that.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Come on.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Come on, let's go.

[Baby Dumpling]

Don't touch me now, or I have to yell. It's something that I cannot yell. Look out. Look out.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, gosh. Shh. Oh, there's a giant leg. Take me away. Boy, that was close. Hey, open up in here. Isn't anybody home?

[Baby Dumpling]

Nobody here but us chickens.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Chickens? This is too big for a hen. Out.

[Baby Dumpling]

Isn't it for the giant's hen hat?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, does this belong to the giant too?

[Baby Dumpling]

Sure. This is his hen house, and I'm his hen.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

You sound a lot like Baby Dumpling. I mean, you sound like Baby Dumpling would sound if he sounded like a hen.

[Baby Dumpling]

Listen, you want a nest for the night?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I wouldn't mind. See, I'm hiding from the giant.

[Baby Dumpling]

Then you're in the wrong room. The giant comes here every night to can't it golden egg.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah. Which hen laid the golden egg? Huh?

[Baby Dumpling]

That one over there.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Thanks. I want to take that hen home to Blondie. Just a little souvenir of my trip.

[Baby Dumpling]

You better not let the giant keep you touching that hen.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, I don't know. Maybe the giant isn't as tough as he looks. He reminds me of a fella named Mayapple, and he Wasn't very tough Giant.

[Baby Dumpling]

Name used to be May Apple. When he started to grow, he changed it to be Big Apple.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

What started him growing?

[Baby Dumpling]

Oh, a big bowl of ups. A daisy every morning.

[Narrator/Commercial Voice]

Crispy, crunchy bowl of upsy Daisy every morning. Will certainly give you rosy cheeks and lots of energy.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh. Hey, turn that off.

[Narrator/Commercial Voice]

Now, here's how you can make your own Upsy Daisy.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Huh?

[Narrator/Commercial Voice]

Just grind up a nice piece of two by four and a pint of cream.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh. Well, that's the first time I ever heard of a radio in a henhouse.

[Baby Dumpling]

Anything can happen in a dream.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Well, if I'm dreaming, I think I'll take a few golden eggs and go home before I wake up.

[Baby Dumpling]

You better hurry. I hear the giant coming now. That's him.

[Mr. Mayapple]

Fee fo, fum. Who's in my henhouse?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

And how come nobody's here but us chickens?

[Sandman]

Oh, no.

[Mr. Mayapple]

With a fee and a phi. And a fee fo fo. I'm so mad I could crush an assertion.

[Baby Dumpling]

He's heavy mad. Sh.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah.

[Mr. Mayapple]

Let me in here, for pity sake, or I'll part your hair with a garden rake.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Listen, unlock that door and when he opens it, I'll run between his legs and find the beanstalk.

[Baby Dumpling]

Okay, ready?

[Blondie Bumstead]

One, two, three, gangway.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Here's the beanstalk. Now I'll climb down and.

[Mr. Mayapple]

I think you're out of luck there, chum.

[Baby Dumpling]

Faster. Faster.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I can't go any faster. Oh, why do I have dreams like this?

[Narrator/Commercial Voice]

This dream comes to you through the courtesy of the Upsy Daisy Plant Food Company.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

That's the end. I'm going to jump.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, Dagwood. Dagwood, for goodness sake, wake up.

[Narrator/Commercial Voice]

Look good out below.

[Baby Dumpling]

I'm falling.

[Blondie Bumstead]

You have fallen out of bed.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Where am I?

[Blondie Bumstead]

You're in your own bedroom, Dagwood. And it's time to get up.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Morning. Yeah. Hey, look, it's sunshine.

[Baby Dumpling]

I know.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Hey, Blondie, you know what? I just had a sponsored dream.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Well, you'd better get up now. Mr. Mayapple is downstairs.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

May Apple. Oh, how big is he?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, just an ordinary sized man.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Why, I dreamed he was a giant.

[Blondie Bumstead]

He seems like a very nice man, David.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Nice? Oh, no, Blondie. Why, he's the one that sold me all that stuff. You know, that truckload of plants that probably won't grow. And some of that sawdust plant food.

[Blondie Bumstead]

You must have dreamt that, too, Dagwood. Mr. Mayapple isn't that kind of a man at all. Why, just look out the window.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Out the window? Are those beans growing?

[Blondie Bumstead]

Why not? Yet.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, I guess I am a little mixed up. Do you like that stuff I bought last night?

[Blondie Bumstead]

If you ask me, you got a bargain. Look down there.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, golly. Hey, May Apple's fading up the whole garden.

[Baby Dumpling]

Mm.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, gee, I love the way it smells in the spring. I want to dig in it, too, Dagger.

[Baby Dumpling]

Me too, Daddy. Look, I got my overalls on.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Good morning. I'm glad you're not a hen anymore.

[Blondie Bumstead]

A hen?

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah. He was a hen, and you were a harp. Oh, boy, that was some dream.

[Blondie Bumstead]

It must have been.

[Baby Dumpling]

Come on, Daddy. Hurry up, or that man will have the garden all done.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Yeah. May Apple needn't think he's going to have all the fun. Hey, May Apple, wait for us now.

[Baby Dumpling]

I'll go down and tell him, Daddy. I'm gonna tell you to leave room for a little rabbit house just in case.

[Blondie Bumstead]

This year we really will have a.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Garden, won't we, Daddy? You bet, honey. What's the use of paying all kinds of prices for vegetables when you can raise them yourself?

[Blondie Bumstead]

And flowers. If we grow more than we can use, we can give them to people.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Sure. I bet people will be hanging over the back fence looking at our flowers this year.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Of course, it'll take a little work, Dagwood.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

Oh, I don't mind working in a garden, honey. I can get up a little earlier every day like this morning.

[Blondie Bumstead]

And I can buy a little gardening smock and a shade hat and some gloves and work in the afternoon.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

And I can get in a lot of work evenings before it gets dark.

[Blondie Bumstead]

Oh, I bet we have a lovely garden this year.

[Dagwood Bumstead]

I bet it will be the best garden on Shady Lane Avenue.

[Radio Announcer]

Well, folks, spring has really come to the Bumpsteads. And we invite you to join us in another visit to the Bumpsteads with Penny Singleton as Blondie and Arthur Lake as Dagwood. Next Monday. At the same time, let me also suggest that you listen to Camel's other standout shows. On Saturday, there's luncheon at the Waldorf with Ilka Chase. You'll find it a new high in daytime entertainment. On Saturday night, tune in and hear Bob Crosby and Mildred Bailey featuring music with a heartbeat. That's a tip for your radio pleasure and for your smoking pleasure, try Camels. You'll find more pleasure for puffs. More puffs for pack. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.

[Mr. Mayapple]

SA.