
Blondie 40-04-22 (043) The Gypsy Queen
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Nicole Byer
We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms flyer. Today's style tip. When it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com.
Dagwood Bumstead
Ooh.
Nicole Byer
Fierce. This has been your Wayfarer style tip to keep those interiors superior.
Blondie Bumstead
Wayfair. Every style, every home.
Mr. Dithers
Ah, ah, ah.
Narrator
Don't touch that dial.
Commercial Announcer
Listen to Blondie. Brought to you by the makers of Camel cigarettes.
Blondie Bumstead
Extra. Extra.
Commercial Announcer
For extra flavor, get Camels.
Blondie Bumstead
Extra.
Commercial Announcer
For extra mildness and extra coolness, get Camels.
Nicole Byer
Extra.
Commercial Announcer
For extra smoking per pack, get Camels the cigarette that gives you the ext. And now, before we drop over to the Bumstead house to visit Chick Young's famous characters Blondie and Dagwood. A word from the makers of Camel cigarettes. Ladies and gentlemen, it seems that everywhere we turn today, we're confronted with speed and more speed in our daily lives. It's hurry or I'll be late for my train. I can't stop now. I haven't time. Yes, universally life has been speeded up. But there's a different story in cigarettes every day. More and more smokers, experienced smokers are discovering that the extras in smoking pleasure are on the slow side. The slow burning Camel side. Science puts it this way. Cigarettes that burn fast, burn hot. And nothing so surely mars the delicate.
Narrator
Elements of cigarette flavor and fragrance.
Commercial Announcer
As excess heat, slow burning preserves these precious natural qualities, gives you more mildness, more flavor, more coolness. Of course, science also tells you which cigarette is slower burning. In recent impartial laboratory tests, camels burned 25% slower than the average of the 15 other of the largest selling brands tested. Slower than any of them. Yes, science points the way and the experience of millions of smokers confirms it. Slower burning Camels give you extra mildness, extra coolness, extra flavor and extra smoking. Equal on the average to five extra smokes per pack. Penny for penny, Camels are your best cigarette buy. And now for our weekly visit with the Bumsteads. It's morning and Blondie stands at the foot of the stairs sounding her usual reveille to the man of the house.
Blondie Bumstead
Stag Wood Breakfast.
Baby Dumplin
Good morning, Mommy.
Blondie Bumstead
Hello, baby dumplin. Go tell daddy his breakfast is ready.
Baby Dumplin
I can't tell him, Mommy. He's up and gone out.
Blondie Bumstead
Gone out? Uh huh.
Baby Dumplin
As soon as you went downstairs, he got up and got dressed and got Out.
Blondie Bumstead
Why, why? How funny. I didn't hear him.
Baby Dumplin
He went tippy toe. Mommy.
Blondie Bumstead
Tiptoed out of the house without his breakfast.
Mrs. Friend
Hmm.
Blondie Bumstead
Didn't he say anything to you before he went out?
Baby Dumplin
Uh huh. He said, good morning. Would I like to be a gypsy?
Blondie Bumstead
A gypsy?
Baby Dumplin
Uh huh. Listen, Mommy, that sounds to me like our old car coming home.
Blondie Bumstead
Why, yes. It's coming up our driveway. Now we'll see what he's been up to. Come on, baby. The back door. Blondie.
Dagwood Bumstead
Hey, hey, Blondie. Blondie.
Blondie Bumstead
Good morning, dad.
Dagwood Bumstead
Good morning. Oh, I thought you were somewhere else.
Blondie Bumstead
No, Dagwood.
Dagwood Bumstead
Listen, Blondie, it's here. I've got it.
Blondie Bumstead
Now. What, Dagwood?
Dagwood Bumstead
A two burner bed under the sink and a hot and cold running stove that sleeps four.
Blondie Bumstead
What on earth are you.
Dagwood Bumstead
Of course, the voice tub was extra, but it can go outside when we're inside. Vice versa. And the same with pots and pans.
Blondie Bumstead
Now, listen, Dagwood. Count to 10 slowly and then tell me what you bought and how much it cost.
Dagwood Bumstead
Okay. 1, 2, 5, 6, 9. $69. And he threw in the ice box.
Baby Dumplin
Fill it in. What, Daddy?
Blondie Bumstead
Gagwood, what did you buy?
Dagwood Bumstead
I keep telling you, honey, it's a trailer.
Blondie Bumstead
A trailer? One of those things you drag behind the car. Why, they cost hundreds of dollars.
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, no, honey. I mean, sure, but not this one. You see, the fella that sold it to me had to leave town in a hurry.
Baby Dumplin
Who was after him? Daddy?
Dagwood Bumstead
No, no, baby dumpling, you don't understand. He didn't sell me the trailer because he had to leave town.
Blondie Bumstead
No, he had to leave town because he sold your father the trailer.
Dagwood Bumstead
No, no. Now listen, this was a bargain.
Blondie Bumstead
Well, let's look at it.
Dagwood Bumstead
Dad would sure come on. On to the unveiling. Oh, boy. Hi diddle dee dee. A gypsy's right for me. There she is. How's that, huh?
Mrs. Friend
Oh, goodness.
Blondie Bumstead
It's.
Mrs. Friend
Huh?
Blondie Bumstead
Well, it's a funny color, isn't it?
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, we can make it any color. Hey, how's it look to you, baby dumpling?
Blondie Bumstead
Huh?
Baby Dumplin
It looks like somebody was moving their hen house.
Dagwood Bumstead
Now, listen, it's bigger than it looks.
Blondie Bumstead
Boy.
Dagwood Bumstead
What do you see? The inside. Oh, our regular little home. Our little rolling home on four wheels.
Blondie Bumstead
One of the tires blew out.
Dagwood Bumstead
Yeah. Our little rolling home on three wheels.
Blondie Bumstead
Stagwood, have you got the tire changed?
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, I'll have to patch the tube, honey.
Blondie Bumstead
Goodness, what's all the hammering, Stagwood? Huh? Are you going to hang all those pots and pans on the outside?
Dagwood Bumstead
Sure, honey. We'll need stuff to cook in out on the open road.
Blondie Bumstead
You mean we'll stop overnight in this trailer?
Dagwood Bumstead
Certainly. We're going places and seeing things.
Blondie Bumstead
Yes, and everywhere we go, people will think they're seeing things, huh?
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, well, anyway, it's very tidy inside, honey.
Blondie Bumstead
I hope so. I like to have a place for everything and everything in its place.
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, in this trailer, some places are for two things.
Blondie Bumstead
One place for two things.
Dagwood Bumstead
Uh huh.
Blondie Bumstead
How do you mean, Dagwood?
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, see, two of the beds flip over and there's your table for one thing.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh my. Just think, baby. The table turns into two beds. Uh huh.
Baby Dumplin
I'll bet they'll be crumbed in my bed.
Dagwood Bumstead
No, no, baby. Those beds are for Daddy and Mommy.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, where does baby sleepdagwood?
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, see, the sink kind of flips over and there's another bed. Cute, huh, baby dumpling?
Baby Dumplin
Suppose I want a drink of water in the night? Do I have to get under the bed?
Dagwood Bumstead
No, no, baby dumpling. Look, we won't have to use the sink bed, except for company, see, because the stove slips over too, and there's another bed. Oh, I'll show you. Look, this door is a little stuck.
Blondie Bumstead
Well, let me pry at the door, Dagwood, while you pull.
Dagwood Bumstead
Okay, honey, Ready?
Blondie Bumstead
All right.
Dagwood Bumstead
One too quick. That's what I know. Well, I'll fix it later anyway. It's open. Walk right in, Blondie. Have a look around.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, it's kind of sagged, Dagwood. Are you sure it's safe?
Dagwood Bumstead
Why sure. Let me in there first. I'll show you. Now, see, I just crawl in, turn around and stand up.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, Dagwood, did you hurt your head?
Dagwood Bumstead
No, not very much.
Baby Dumplin
And more paint came off the roll.
Dagwood Bumstead
Never mind the paint. The point is, this is a good strong trailer, Bonty. Look at that. I'll jump up and down to show you, See? Safe as anything. Your solid little home on four wheels.
Baby Dumplin
On three wheels.
Blondie Bumstead
Dada on two wheels.
Dagwood Bumstead
There. Now she's back on four wheels.
Blondie Bumstead
Well, that's nice, dear, but the sparrows look kind of worn and ragged to me.
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, they're down underneath where they don't show very much.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, well, that's all right. Here's a red paint, Daddy.
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, yeah. See, I'm going to paint the name on the trailer. I think of the right name.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, is it going to have a name?
Dagwood Bumstead
Sure, just like a Pullman car. How's about calling it the Blondie Bumpstead?
Blondie Bumstead
Well, no thanks, Dagwood. Oh, Davey, I think that's our front doorbell. You go see.
Baby Dumplin
Okay, Mommy.
Blondie Bumstead
Don't name it after me, Daddy.
Dagwood Bumstead
Yeah. Well, gosh, it's kind of an honor to have anything named after you, isn't it?
Blondie Bumstead
Well, that depends, dear.
Dagwood Bumstead
I did think I might call it the spirit of J.C. dithers Construction Company.
Blondie Bumstead
I wouldn't. Dad would.
Dagwood Bumstead
Why not?
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, oh, look, there was a name on here. It's painted over. It says Miller's Midget.
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, yeah, Miller's the one who sold it to me. See, two of his midgets got a divorce and he needed something larger.
Baby Dumplin
Daddy, Mr. Dithers is in the house.
Blondie Bumstead
Mr. Dithers? Jaguars. Did you know he was coming?
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, sure. Ha ha. I wired the boss to come back from Dobson's lake.
Baby Dumplin
He's all dressed up funny.
Blondie Bumstead
Funny. Uh huh.
Baby Dumplin
He's got on striped pants and his coat is long in the back and it doesn't shut in the front.
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, that's his cutaway baby. Guys, he's doing it upright.
Baby Dumplin
He's got a shiny black hat on too.
Blondie Bumstead
Yeah, a silk hat. Uh huh. Dagwood, what in the world for?
Dagwood Bumstead
For the christening, honey.
Blondie Bumstead
The christening? Sure.
Dagwood Bumstead
One thing Mr. Dithers loves is a christening. Oh, he'll go miles to be a godfather.
Blondie Bumstead
Stagwood.
Dagwood Bumstead
Huh?
Blondie Bumstead
You don't mean he's going to christen the trailer?
Dagwood Bumstead
Sure, if I can think of a name in time.
Baby Dumplin
What'll I tell Mr. Dithers, Daddy?
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, tell him that christening will be out here by the garage.
Blondie Bumstead
Okay? Well, I don't know what he'll think when he sees what he's going to christen.
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, I bet this trailer will bring out the gypsy in him right away.
Blondie Bumstead
I never saw a gypsy in a chill cat Gypsy.
Dagwood Bumstead
Hey, how would it be to name the trailer the Gypsy Queen?
Blondie Bumstead
The gypsy's revenge would be better. Come on, let's meet Mr. Dithers at the back door.
Dagwood Bumstead
Okay, honey. I wonder how he looks in a silk hat.
Mr. Dithers
Homestead.
Dagwood Bumstead
He doesn't change a bit.
Mr. Dithers
Homestead. Where are you?
Dagwood Bumstead
Right here, Mr. Dithers. Come on out.
Mr. Dithers
I got your wire. Dropped everything. Well, where's the baby?
Blondie Bumstead
Well, there isn't exactly any baby.
Mrs. Friend
Mr. Dithers.
Mr. Dithers
Huh?
Dagwood Bumstead
No baby?
Mr. Dithers
You mean the christening is off?
Dagwood Bumstead
No, no, no, Mr. Dinners. We're christening the Gypsy Queen.
Mr. Dithers
Eh? Who in the name of the seven suspicious sisters is the Gypsy Queen?
Blondie Bumstead
Stand aside, Dagwood, and let Mr. Dithers see her.
Dagwood Bumstead
Sure. Look.
Mr. Dithers
Oh, what's that?
Blondie Bumstead
It's our new trailer.
Dagwood Bumstead
Her name is going to Be Gypsy Queen.
Mr. Dithers
It ought to be frowzy, Lil. Now, see here, Bumpstead, I leave an important job. Come 200 miles, get all dressed up.
Dagwood Bumstead
And I smell more.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, baby.
Dagwood Bumstead
Quiet, baby. Excuse me till I whisper to baby dumpling.
Blondie Bumstead
Okay, Daddy.
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, thanks for wearing your silk hat, Mr. Dillers.
Mr. Dithers
I thought we were christening a baby.
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, this is better than a baby christening. Listen, you can't break a bottle on a baby, can you?
Mr. Dithers
Oh, are you breaking a bottle?
Dagwood Bumstead
Sure, you bet. Just like on a battleship.
Mr. Dithers
Oh, do I break the bottle?
Blondie Bumstead
Of course you can.
Dagwood Bumstead
Can he, Daddy? Sure. I wanted a very important man to launch the Gypsy Queen on her travels.
Mr. Dithers
Well, I always did like breaking bottles. But I don't approve of wasting champagne.
Dagwood Bumstead
So do I. I mean, that's what I thought. So I got ginger ale.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, I found that bottle of ginger ale last night.
Baby Dumplin
But I brought a bottle of ketchup.
Mr. Dithers
Ketchup? I didn't come all the way from Dobson's Lake to break ketchup bottles.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, it's better than champagne, Mr. Dithers. It. Well, it makes more squish.
Dagwood Bumstead
Sure. Now, don't back out on us now, Mr. Dithers. Listen, you go ahead and christen her with the ketchup, and I'll tell you what we'll do. Oh, we'll drive you all the way back to Dobson's Lake in style.
Blondie Bumstead
Yes, you can ride in the trailer.
Mr. Dithers
Well, is it easy riding?
Dagwood Bumstead
Sure. Just like a private car.
Mr. Dithers
Can we start right after the Christmas?
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, yes. Our bags are all inside.
Mr. Dithers
Well, I'll have to wear what I got on. All right. Our Christmas. Stand back, everybody.
Dagwood Bumstead
Yes, stand back, blondie.
Blondie Bumstead
Stand back, baby.
Dagwood Bumstead
Bring hard Mr. Dinner.
Mr. Dithers
Don't worry. Our hat's off.
Dagwood Bumstead
Yeah, I am.
Mr. Dithers
I christened thee the Gypsy Queen.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, pour the bottle. Didn't you break?
Mr. Dithers
Look at my hand. Blood.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, that's only a little ketchup. The cork came out.
Baby Dumplin
The bottle didn't break.
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, something broke. Oh, then look at that. All in the trailer. It smashed right through the sides.
Mr. Dithers
Well, you ought to have stronger sides or weaker bottles.
Dagwood Bumstead
I can put my head through that hole.
Mr. Dithers
You can put your head through the eye of a needle.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, never mind, Dagwood. It needed more ventilation anyway. Now, Mr. Dithers, you get in the trailer and make yourself cozy. Dagw, drive the car. And, baby, you keep Mr. Dithers company in the Jolly Queen.
Dagwood Bumstead
Ready, Dagwood? Yeah, sure.
Blondie Bumstead
Then we're off.
Dagwood Bumstead
We're up for the open road.
Blondie Bumstead
Well, this is the open road, all right. I never saw anything opener. Do you know where we are, Dagwood?
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, I've been going by that map, but then something's wrong. We should have passed three towns in the last 40 miles.
Blondie Bumstead
Let's see the map. Why does the map say Idaho on it, Zagwood?
Mrs. Friend
Huh?
Dagwood Bumstead
Why, it's because it's a map. Hey, we're not in Idaho, are we?
Blondie Bumstead
Of course not, dear. You've been going by the wrong map. We're lost.
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, we can't be so very lost. You want to go to Dobson's Lake, and we're not in Idaho.
Blondie Bumstead
Well.
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, Dobson's Lake isn't in Idaho either. Hey, what's that?
Blondie Bumstead
Thunder. It's going to rain.
Dagwood Bumstead
Maybe that's why it got dark so early. I hope that trailer doesn't leak on Mr. Dithers.
Blondie Bumstead
Listen. Slow up, Dagwood. There's a sign by the roof.
Dagwood Bumstead
Golly. Why doesn't the Gypsy Queen slow down when I do?
Blondie Bumstead
Look, Dagwood. The sign says camp Crawling trailers welcome.
Dagwood Bumstead
Yeah, looks like a hobo jungle to me, dear.
Blondie Bumstead
It's raining. You know, maybe we ought to stop here, Dagwood.
Dagwood Bumstead
No. If I don't get Mr. Dithers to Dobson's Lake tonight, the least I can do is stop at a nice place.
Blondie Bumstead
I know. But that's a steep hill just ahead.
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, we'll make it okay. Oh, maybe when we get up high, maybe we'll see a better place to stop, huh? Here goes.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, goodness. I hope Baby dumpling can keep Mr. Dither's mind off this ride.
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, look, tune in and hear what they're saying back there, Blondie. Sure. Didn't you see my invention?
Blondie Bumstead
No.
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, look, pick up that rubber tube that comes in the back window there.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, a speaking tube.
Dagwood Bumstead
Speaking or listening? It runs between us and the Gypsy Queen. Pretty good, huh?
Blondie Bumstead
If it works.
Dagwood Bumstead
Sure it works.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh. Oh, Dagwood, it does. I can hear Baby Dumplin talking. Tell me another story.
Mr. Dithers
Oh, you like that, eh?
Baby Dumplin
Well, it keeps me from thinking about the thunderstorm.
Mr. Dithers
Now, a big boy like you isn't afraid of thunder.
Blondie Bumstead
I'm scared.
Mr. Dithers
Well, quiet now. I'll tell you another story to soothe your nerves, Alice. Once upon a time, a little gnarled up dwarf lived in a dark cave that was full of man eating bats. This dwarf didn't have any face. I want an umbrella. This roof is leaking. Here, talk to her through this tube. And tell your father to slow down, too.
Blondie Bumstead
Sorry.
Mr. Dithers
It's a tire. Let me have that tube. Hey, bumpshead. Bumpshead we're riding on a path on the rim Bump's head.
Blondie Bumstead
It doesn't work.
Mr. Dithers
It's like all your father's inventions. They never work when you need them. There goes another tire. Bumpshead. Bumpshead.
Blondie Bumstead
Jaguood. Stop the car. I thought I heard baby crying.
Dagwood Bumstead
Okay, now that we're on top of the hill, I didn't hear anything.
Blondie Bumstead
It. It's too dark to see anything either.
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, hollered through the tube there.
Blondie Bumstead
The tube's gone. Something jerked it out of my hand.
Dagwood Bumstead
The tube's gone. Gone where? Wait till I wipe off the back window. There. Now I can. Hey, the trailer. The trailer's gone too. We must have lost it on the hill.
Nicole Byer
We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms flyer Today's when it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals go wild. Like an untamed animal print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table from wayfair.com oh fierce, this has been your Wayfarer style tip to keep those interiors superior.
Blondie Bumstead
Wayfair Every style, Every home.
Stiles Mackenzie
We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Stiles Mackenzie helping you make those rooms sing. Today's style tip when it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals go wild. Like an untamed animal print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com fierce this has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.
Blondie Bumstead
Wayfair Every style, every home.
Narrator
Well, we'll return to the Bumpsteads in a moment, but first, there's one saying that's known to cigarette smokers everywhere. And that's the phrase I'd walk a mile for a Camel. Yes, more smokers prefer Camel cigarettes than any other brand. Camels are made from finer, more expensive tobaccos. They're slower burning and they give you extra coolness and extra mildness. Being slower burning, Camels are free from the irritating qualities of excess heat and too fast burning. Camels are mild, easy on the throat. Camels are cooler, too, for naturally, the slower a cigarette burns, the cooler the smoking. And because slow burning preserves the natural flavor and fragrance of fine tobaccos, Camels give you extra flavor economy too. Slower burning Camels last longer and give you extra smoking per cigarette per pack. In recent impartial laboratory tests, camels burn 25% slower than the average of the 15 other of the largest selling brands tested slower than any of them. And that means a smoking plus equal on the average to five extra smokes per pack. Now, if you live in a community where certain state cigarette taxes are in effect, you can save the cost of the tax through smoking Camels. If there are no added taxes where you live, the savings are all yours. Yes, there's more pleasure per pup and more pups per pack in Camels. That's why smokers say, I'd walk a mile for a camel. And now we return to Dagwood and Blondie, who've traced their runaway trailer to the bottom of the hill and right into Camp Crawley.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, thank heaven they didn't tip over Dagwood.
Dagwood Bumstead
Yeah, these tire marks look like they were riding on two rims and two tires. And that kind of slowed them up.
Blondie Bumstead
All right, Sherlock, just find that trailer. I want to see if my baby's all right.
Dagwood Bumstead
So do I, but I'm not so anxious to find Mr. Diddish. Golly, I wonder what he thought when they went ghosting into this hobo camp.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, hurry, Dagwood.
Dagwood Bumstead
Pretty dark to go very fast. Oh, let's holler for them.
Blondie Bumstead
Hello. Hey. Hey, listen. A tire blew out. That sounds like the Gypsy Queen, all right. Where did the sound come from?
Dagwood Bumstead
There goes the last tire.
Blondie Bumstead
It's over there.
Dagwood Bumstead
Hecka. Come on. Here it is, Blondie.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, baby, are you all right in there? Yes, but we can't get that door open.
Dagwood Bumstead
I'll open it.
Baby Dumplin
That door came off again, Daddy.
Mr. Dithers
Never mind. It'll let some of the water out.
Dagwood Bumstead
Out?
Mr. Dithers
Yes, out. It's up to my ankles in here.
Blondie Bumstead
They're all. Please. Oh, baby dumplin, I'm so glad to see you. Mommy will light a fire and get you warm.
Mr. Dithers
Yeah, who's going to get me warm? I, I, I knew it.
Dagwood Bumstead
Listen, I can fill that moist tub I brought with water.
Baby Dumplin
What about some apples, Daddy?
Dagwood Bumstead
No, no, baby dumpling. But we will eat the water and soak your feet. If I can find enough water to fill the tub.
Mr. Dithers
You want water, eh? Just ring me out.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, I'm afraid you're catching cold, Mr. Dithers. Wait, I'll light the oil fill.
Baby Dumplin
Come, baby. Mommy will dry.
Dagwood Bumstead
Hey, here's your tub. And you know what? Our tires didn't blow that time. There's still two ones.
Mr. Dithers
Nothing like two good tires on a four wheeled trailer.
Dagwood Bumstead
You see, the noise we heard must have been a backfire. That means there's another car in this camp.
Mr. Dithers
Well, what are you standing There for. Go find them. Get some help. Get a jack. Get some boards. Get the tires changed. Get out.
Mrs. Friend
Oh, yes sir.
Mr. Dithers
And get me out of here by tomorrow noon. I've got to speak it there. Up.
Dagwood Bumstead
Up.
Mr. Dithers
Um, tourist.
Blondie Bumstead
I think your sneeze is a little better, Mr. Dithers.
Mr. Dithers
Well, I'm getting lots of practice. Where's the fire we're going to light? Where's the hot coffee we're going to have?
Blondie Bumstead
Well, I'm afraid there's something wrong with the stove and the sink. When I put water in the coffee pot, it was kerosene. When I turned on the stove, it played water like a fountain.
Mr. Dithers
Elementary, my dear Mrs. Bumpstead. Dagworth's got the feed lines crossed up. Light a match and I look.
Blondie Bumstead
Well, I'm afraid all the matches are wet too.
Mr. Dithers
Well, maybe I've got a dry match. Oh yes, just warm. Stand back while I light it.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, it lights. Now be careful, Mr. Dither.
Dagwood Bumstead
Don't talk.
Mr. Dithers
It makes a draft and I can't match out.
Dagwood Bumstead
Mom.
Mr. Dithers
Oh, this is the end. I'm through. I'm going. Where's my hat?
Blondie Bumstead
Where's Mr. Dithersil? Cat. Baby.
Baby Dumplin
Here it is. It's got some water in it. Ah, you said put something under the leak in the roof.
Mr. Dithers
Oh, baby, I'll go without a hat. Where's your car?
Blondie Bumstead
Out by the road. But wait, if you drive home, what do we do?
Mr. Dithers
Who said I was driving home? I'm going to find a garage, get new tires, get you all out of here.
Baby Dumplin
Hey, Mommy, that sneeze made the windows change.
Mr. Dithers
I was leaning against the wall. How many tires do you need? Two.
Blondie Bumstead
Just two?
Mr. Dithers
Two tired.
Blondie Bumstead
Three tired now.
Commercial Announcer
All right.
Mr. Dithers
I'll get three tires.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, I'm afraid.
Mr. Dithers
I know, I know. I'll get four new tires.
Blondie Bumstead
Somebody's saying an air tied out too. You'll maybe wake the baby.
Mrs. Friend
No one means us harm, Jenny. I'll see who's outside.
Blondie Bumstead
Here's a lantern. Mole.
Mrs. Friend
Who's there?
Dagwood Bumstead
It's just me. I saw your light.
Mrs. Friend
Bless my soul. It's a young fellow.
Blondie Bumstead
Wet to the skin.
Mrs. Friend
Jenny, make room by the oil stove.
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, I don't want to crowd you and my feet are pretty wet.
Mrs. Friend
Why wouldn't they be? A night like this. Come in. Have you Ed? Huh?
Dagwood Bumstead
Well, no.
Mrs. Friend
Hungry too. Jenny, dish up the mush. We. We got company for some.
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh no thanks.
Blondie Bumstead
I don't want to help less ma.
Mrs. Friend
As long as there's any. We'll turn no hungry man away. Sit down, mistress.
Mr. Dithers
Uh huh.
Dagwood Bumstead
I'm afraid I'm robbing you.
Mrs. Friend
Oh, no, no. We've all et barried Eddie, and he's out looking for work.
Blondie Bumstead
Blessing Eddie's found something to eat somewhere. More else, he'd be back by now.
Dagwood Bumstead
Is eddie your husband, Mrs.
Mrs. Friend
Friend? No, sir. Eddie's my boy and the man of the family. Now, now, Mr. Finn has passed on. Ed is 15.
Dagwood Bumstead
Golly. And he supports you?
Mrs. Friend
He does what he can. And so do we all. You're not eating your mushroom.
Dagwood Bumstead
Oh, it's very good. Are you sure you've eaten? Is it friends?
Mrs. Friend
Oh, I'm on kind of a now diet, you might say. I don't need so much, me not working.
Dagwood Bumstead
Do the three of you travel in that automobile out there?
Mrs. Friend
Four of us, but the baby takes no room at all. Someday we'll stop traveling.
Blondie Bumstead
It'll be good to stop traveling within a year.
Dagwood Bumstead
Traveling, Golly.
Mrs. Friend
Oh, we'll get along.
Dagwood Bumstead
Now, come on.
Mrs. Friend
Eat your mush. It's better than it looks.
Dagwood Bumstead
It's fine. That's not what's wrong, but. Oh, you can't fool me. This was your supper, all you had. And you gave it to me when you didn't even know my name. Listen, I only think I'm hungry. Right over there somewhere. I've a trailer just full of stuff to eat and a little wife that's the best cook in the state.
Mrs. Friend
Bless my soul.
Dagwood Bumstead
And I was sorry for myself till I met you. Now you know what we're going to do? We're all going over to my place for the best supper you've ever had.
Blondie Bumstead
A little more steak, Mrs. Bream?
Mrs. Friend
No, thank you kindly. Maybe Eddie, though. He works hard and all.
Blondie Bumstead
Eddie's gone to sleep sitting up.
Mrs. Friend
Oh, you'll have to excuse Emmie. It's so warm and cozy in here.
Dagwood Bumstead
Yeah, it's dried out pretty good.
Blondie Bumstead
I'm glad I got that stove working.
Mrs. Friend
It's a lovely stove, isn't it, Jenny?
Dagwood Bumstead
Shh.
Mrs. Friend
She's a pretty dinner. I don't know what you'll think of us all. You done used to eatin so hearty.
Blondie Bumstead
I think you're the nicest family I've met in a long while.
Dagwood Bumstead
You bet. Taking me in, a stranger and all.
Mrs. Friend
Oh, I don't expect. I don't expect there are any strangers, mister. There's one father to a toil.
Blondie Bumstead
You. You must tell me how you made that mush you had, Mrs. Bean. Dagwood says it smelled delicious.
Mrs. Friend
Oh, now, I don't expect it would do for. Well, rich people.
Dagwood Bumstead
Rich, you mean. I swore.
Mrs. Friend
Now, I'm glad for you. But you must be well off to live in a lovely little house on wheels like this.
Blondie Bumstead
But, Rita, you. You like this trailer?
Mrs. Friend
Oh, it's a real pleasure to sit in it. I wish my baby was old enough to know the nice bed he's sleeping in. Sheets too. Clean sheep, like. Like we used to have at home.
Dagwood Bumstead
Look, Mrs. Friend, we don't exactly live in this trailer. We just.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, Jaguan.
Dagwood Bumstead
Huh? Shh.
Blondie Bumstead
Listen.
Mr. Dithers
Golly.
Dagwood Bumstead
Here's Mr. Dithers. He's brought back the car with tires.
Blondie Bumstead
For the trailer, I hope.
Mrs. Friend
Are you moving on tonight? Well, I'll just rouse up my young uncle.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, no, no. Let them sleep a little longer.
Dagwood Bumstead
I'm coming.
Blondie Bumstead
I'll go with you. Dagwood. I. I want to talk to you.
Mrs. Friend
We'll all help you put on the tire. Oh, no.
Dagwood Bumstead
In the morning will be time enough for that. Well, I'll just get up the place.
Mrs. Friend
For you whilst you're gone. My, this is handy, though. A sink right by the stove. Hot water.
Blondie Bumstead
Put the last tire down with the others. Don't let her hear us.
Dagwood Bumstead
She's humming a tune in there while she works.
Blondie Bumstead
Oh, Degworth, I'm so glad you agreed with me.
Dagwood Bumstead
She needs it worse than we do.
Blondie Bumstead
We'll enjoy it more this way than if we kept it ourselves. Yeah.
Mrs. Friend
Honey, have you got the note to leave for her? Mm.
Blondie Bumstead
Right here.
Dagwood Bumstead
Read it to me again.
Blondie Bumstead
Well, I'll have to get in the light from the doorway.
Mrs. Friend
Can she hear?
Dagwood Bumstead
No, she's still humming.
Blondie Bumstead
All right. The Note says, Dear Mrs. Friend, we are not coming back. We want you to have the home on wheels you like so much. Rest well in its clean beds. Warm yourself at its fire as we were warmed by a glimpse of your own cheerful heart. Goodbye and good luck always Blondie and Daniel.
Dagwood Bumstead
Listen what she's humming in there. Goodbye, Mrs. Green, and good luck always.
Blondie Bumstead
Take me home now, Dagworth.
Narrator
Well, folks, in just a moment, we'll give you a brief synopsis of next week's Blondie story. But first, Camels give you extra flavor. Extra Camels give you extra mildness and extra coolness. Extra Camels give you extra smoking per pack. Try Camels, the cigarette that gives you the extras. Camels bring you two other great shows each week. On Saturday, there's luncheon at the Waldorf with Ilka Chase. You'll find it the new high in daytime entertainment. On Saturday night, tune in and hear Bob Crosby and Mildred Bailey featuring music with a Heartbeat. And next Monday night at this same time, tune in on Blondie. We think you'll get a chuckle out of Dagwood's experience on the witness stand. Well, that's a tip. For your radio enjoyment and for your smoking enjoyment every day, try Camels, the cigarette that gives you the extras. Beginning next Monday, due to daylight saving time, Blondie will be heard one hour.
Commercial Announcer
Earlier on many of these stations.
Narrator
Consult your newspaper for exact time. Blondie is written and directed by Ashmead Scott, and this is Bill Goodwin speaking for the makers of Camel cigarettes. Good night, all. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.
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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – Blondie 40-04-22 (043) The Gypsy Queen
Title: The Gypsy Queen
Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio
Release Date: May 31, 2025
Duration: Approximately 31 minutes
The Gypsy Queen is a classic episode from the beloved Blondie radio series, capturing the humorous escapades of the Bumstead family. Set against the backdrop of mid-20th century America, the episode blends family dynamics with light-hearted mishaps, showcasing the enduring charm of Blondie and Dagwood Bumstead.
The episode opens with Blondie welcoming another unusual Dagwood invention—a trailer tent named the Gypsy Queen. [02:39] Dagwood excitedly introduces the trailer, highlighting its multifunctional design:
"A two burner bed under the sink and a hot and cold running stove that sleeps four." [03:35]
Blondie remains skeptical, requesting Dagwood to calmly explain the purchase and cost:
"Count to 10 slowly and then tell me what you bought and how much it cost." [03:24]
Dagwood, in his typical enthusiastic manner, reveals the trailer's features but stumbles over the details, leading to a comedic exchange about its functionality and cost.
Dagwood decides to christen the Gypsy Queen with the help of Mr. Dithers, their neighbor. The christening involves breaking a bottle, but due to unforeseen circumstances, they opt for ginger ale instead of champagne:
"I wanted a very important man to launch the Gypsy Queen on her travels." [11:10]
"Well, you can't break a bottle on a baby, can you?" [11:03]
The ceremony doesn't go as planned, resulting in a minor mishap where ketchup spills inside the trailer. Despite the hiccup, Dagwood remains optimistic, declaring:
"It's safe as anything. Your solid little home on four wheels." [07:04]
Energized by their christening, Dagwood drives the trailer, but their adventure quickly takes a turn for the worse. They realize they're lost when they notice significant discrepancies on their map:
"Why does the map say Idaho on it, Dagwood?" [13:14]
"We're lost." [13:39]
As night falls with an impending thunderstorm, Dagwood grapples with the malfunctioning features of the trailer, leading to further complications:
"I'm so glad you agreed with me." [28:34]
Their misadventure leads them to Camp Crawling, a hobo camp, where they seek shelter from the storm. The camp is inhabited by the Friend family, including Mrs. Friend and her teenage son, Eddie. The interaction is filled with the typical Blondie-style misunderstandings and humor:
"We don't exactly live in this trailer. We just..." [27:44]
"You must tell me how you made that mush you had, Mrs. Bean." [27:09]
Dagwood tries to alleviate the tension by revealing their true intentions and the need to fix the trailer:
"We're all going over to my place for the best supper you've ever had." [26:05]
The episode culminates with Dagwood returning to Camp Crawling to retrieve the trailer after a series of mechanical failures. In a final twist, Mr. Dithers attempts to fix the trailer's issues but unintentionally causes more chaos:
"Elementary, my dear Mrs. Bumstead. Dagworth's got the feed lines crossed up." [22:25]
Blondie and Dagwood decide to part ways with the Friend family, leaving behind a heartfelt note explaining their departure:
"We are not coming back. We want you to have the home on wheels you like so much." [28:55]
As they drive away, the Bumsteads reflect on their misadventure, emphasizing the importance of family and resilience.
Blondie Bumstead: The voice of reason, navigating Dagwood's eccentric ideas with patience and wit. Her interactions showcase her strength in managing household chaos.
"I want to talk to you." [28:06]
Dagwood Bumstead: The lovable, bumbling husband whose inventive ideas often lead to humorous predicaments. His optimism remains unshaken despite setbacks.
"It's safe as anything." [07:04]
Baby Dumplin: The adorable child who adds innocence and charm to the storyline, often providing comedic relief with her straightforward observations.
"I'll bet they'll be crumbed in my bed." [06:16]
Mr. Dithers: The nosy neighbor whose involvement in the trailer christening adds another layer of comedy. His traditional views contrast with the Bumsteads' modern inventions.
"I christened thee the Gypsy Queen." [12:25]
Mrs. Friend and Family: Representing the hobo camp residents, they embody the struggles and camaraderie of those living on the road, adding depth to the narrative.
Dagwood Introducing the Trailer:
"A two burner bed under the sink and a hot and cold running stove that sleeps four." [03:35]
Blondie Expressing Skepticism:
"A trailer? One of those things you drag behind the car. Why, they cost hundreds of dollars." [04:08]
Dagwood's Optimism Despite Mishaps:
"It's safe as anything. Your solid little home on four wheels." [07:32]
Blondie Realizing They're Lost:
"We're lost." [13:39]
Dagwood's Solution-Oriented Attitude:
"We can make it any color. Hey, how's it look to you, baby dumpling?" [05:50]
Blondie's Reasoning for Leaving:
"We are not coming back. We want you to have the home on wheels you like so much." [28:55]
Family Dynamics: The Bumsteads' interactions highlight the balance between Blondie's practicality and Dagwood's inventiveness, showcasing a harmonious marital relationship despite frequent comedic conflicts.
Adventure and Misadventure: The episode underscores the unpredictability of new ventures, emphasizing resilience and adaptability in the face of challenges.
Community and Hospitality: The encounter with the Friend family at Camp Crawling illustrates themes of generosity and the human spirit in providing shelter and kindness to strangers.
Humor in Everyday Life: The Gypsy Queen masterfully blends situational comedy with witty dialogues, making light of Dagwood's inventions and the family's coping mechanisms.
The Gypsy Queen is a quintessential Blondie episode that combines humor, heartwarming family moments, and a touch of adventure. Through the Bumstead family's misadventures with the Gypsy Queen trailer, listeners are treated to a timeless story that resonates with themes of love, resilience, and the joys of everyday life. This episode stands as a testament to the enduring appeal of classic radio storytelling, offering laughter and warmth to both longtime fans and newcomers alike.
Enjoyed this summary? Tune into Harold's Old Time Radio for more nostalgic journeys back to the Golden Age of Radio!