Harold's Old Time Radio – Bob Hope Show 41-05-06 Ep033 Frances Langford – USO Premiere Broadcast

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Original Air Date: May 6, 1941
Summary Date: January 27, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode features a classic 1941 broadcast of "The Bob Hope Show," recorded live at March Field, a key Army Air Corps base near Riverside, California, for its USO series premiere. Bob Hope, alongside cast regulars like Bill Goodwin, Professor Jerry Colonna, Frances Langford, and Skinny Ennis, brings rapid-fire comedy, musical performances, and military-themed antics directly to an audience of servicemen, blending Hollywood humor with patriotic spirit at the dawn of America’s involvement in WWII.

Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Opening Banter at March Field

[01:03 – 05:14]

• Bob Hope launches the show with army-themed quips:

  “This is Bob March Field Hope telling all aviators, while we can't advise you on how to protect your shoots, there's nothing like Pepsodent to protect your toots.” [01:22]

• Bill Goodwin and Bob exchange jokes about the perils (and hygiene) of Army life, referencing everything from flying to bunkhouse fashion disasters.
• The location is repeatedly emphasized as "one of the Army's great flying fields," highlighting the soldiers' warm, comedic interactions with Hope and company.

2. Humor and Satire: Army Life & Aviation

[02:23 – 06:07]

• Aviation hijinks:
  Jokes continue about airplane size, pilots’ nerves, and Bob’s anxiety at high altitudes:

  “I was shaking so hard the pilot cut out both motors and my knees kept the plane in the air.” [03:20]

• Army culture lampooned:
  Anecdotes about rookie mistakes, military bureaucracy, and the generational military tradition:

  “My grandfather was the third from the end in the spirit of Vat 69.” – Bob Hope [05:20]

3. Professor Colonna's “Inspirational” Address

[06:10 – 07:36]

• Jerry Colonna gives a deliberately absurd “inspirational talk” to the troops:

  “Men of the Army...just look at my face. Repulsive, isn’t it?” [06:28]

• Running gags about military ranks and his own idiocy:

  “You’re really a first-class idiot.” — Bill Goodwin
  “Is that better than a second lieutenant?” — Professor Colonna [07:25-07:28]

4. Musical & Variety Highlights: Frances Langford Joins

[08:06 – 14:23]

• Frances Langford takes the stage, sparking a comedic volley about Army romance:

  “I did kiss a rookie. Then a sergeant came along, so I had to kiss him. Then the general came along, so I kissed him, too.” — Frances Langford [08:45] “But how do these soldiers kiss?” — Bill Goodwin
  “Well, the rookies are pretty good, the sergeants are very good. But, oh, that general delivery.” — Frances Langford [08:54]

• Joking about California vs. Florida (Langford’s home), oranges, and Hollywood:

  “Well, anyhow, I bet California has the biggest lemons.” — Bill Goodwin [11:28] “Oh, Bob, you’re just self-conscious.” — Frances Langford [11:36]

• Langford’s musical performance: She delivers a rendition of “Do I Worry?” to enthusiastic applause.

5. Army Recruitment Office Skit

[15:11 – 22:31]

• Hope and Skinny Ennis “enlist” in the Army, encountering farcical examining officers and over-the-top medical staff:

  “Do you drink? ... Smoke? ... Swear?” “No. ... No. ... No.” — Recruitment Q&A, comedic routine [16:37-16:42] “Hope, I’ll get you a white uniform. You’ll make a lovely nurse.” [16:42]

• Comic physical exam:
  Professor Colonna as the army doctor delivers classic slapstick:

  "Take off your shoes. Take off your stockings. Take off your legs." [19:25] “Maybe I shouldn't have okayed that last guy.” — Colonna [19:45]

• Nurse Brenda and Nurse Mia (the “Army of Humane Nightingales”) conduct “kiss tests” on hopeful recruits:

  “When they want to know if a guy is strong enough for the army, they let us kiss him. If he faints, they don’t take him. If he likes it, they shoot him.” [17:56]

• Phone call gag:

  “Why, certainly I'll give you my old clothes. ... What are you going to do with them? ... Oh, I'm going to eat them. I'm a moth.” [20:27-20:45]

6. Closing Medical Mayhem

[20:55 – 22:31]

• Final rounds of physical exam chaos with Professor Colonna:

  “Did you put my instruments in boiling water?”
  “Yes.”
  “Well, throw in an egg. I'm hungry.” [20:08]

• Slapstick about surgery errors:

  “Now help me get my hand out of here.” — Colonna [21:05]

• Physical test with a twist:
  Walking blindfolded to a “window” is played as a gag about army mishaps:

  “You’d be surprised how many patients we lose that wing.” — Colonna [22:19]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Relentless Army Banter:

  “When we got above the clouds, I yelled to the pilot, look at that rosy cloud under us. He yelled back, that cloud isn’t rosy. And pull your head in. Your nose is bleeding.” — Bob Hope & Bill Goodwin [03:45]

• Quips about the Armed Forces:

  “I’m just a plain, ordinary, honest guy. Just look at my face. Repulsive, isn’t it?” — Professor Colonna [06:28]

• Langford’s charm with the troops:

  “As a patriotic American, I did kiss a rookie. Then a sergeant came along... then the general came along, so I kissed him too.” — Frances Langford [08:45]

• Comic Rivalry with Hollywood:

  “Who? Rudy Valli. You know, the man who discovered John Barrymore.” — Frances Langford [11:51]
  “That’s like saying the telephone invented Don Amici.” — Bill Goodwin [11:59]

• Absurd Doctoring:

  “Take off your shoes. Take off your stockings. Take off your legs.” — Professor Colonna [19:25] “Did you put my instruments in boiling water?... Well, throw in an egg. I’m hungry.” — Professor Colonna [20:08]

Episode Timestamps

• 01:03 – Show opens at March Field; Pepsodent gags and aviation jokes
• 06:10 – Professor Colonna’s “inspirational” speech
• 08:06 – Frances Langford’s introduction and Army romance jokes
• 14:10 – Langford sings “Do I Worry?”
• 15:11 – “You’re in the Army Now” recruiting office skit begins
• 17:22 – Nurse Brenda & Mia perform “kiss” fitness tests on recruits
• 19:25 – Outlandish medical examination scene with Professor Colonna
• 20:55 – Colonna’s botched surgery slapstick
• 22:05 – Blindfold test finale

Tone and Style

The episode is a buoyant blend of zany wordplay, slapstick routines, gentle ribbing, and topical wit, all delivered in the snappy, vaudevillian style of radio’s golden age. The spirit is light-hearted, patriotic, and purpose-built to amuse and boost the morale of WWII servicemen, with the whole cast trading barbs, puns, and one-liners at a breathless pace.

For New Listeners

If you enjoy rapid-fire classic comedy, military-era musical variety, and the camaraderie of entertainers supporting the troops, this episode delivers a winning dose of Golden Age radio charm anchored by Bob Hope’s irrepressible showmanship and Frances Langford’s winning personality.