Bright Star 52-10-23 (01) The Oil Swindle

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: Bright Star "The Oil Swindle"

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Bright Star 52-10-23 (01) The Oil Swindle
Date: December 28, 2025

---

Episode Overview

This episode of Bright Star, a classic radio comedy adventure starring Irene Dunne as Susan Armstrong and Fred MacMurray as George Harvey, revolves around a suspected oil stock swindle in the small town of Hillsdale. When George suspects that the town’s new oil development is a fraud, he clashes with Susan, editor of the Morning Star newspaper, as he sets out to expose the crooked scheme. The episode mixes sharp banter, romantic tension, and a comic take on investigative journalism as the pair navigate misunderstandings, disguises, and their ongoing quarrels.

---

Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

1. Initial Confrontation & Threats

• George Harvey is approached by Connor Gaston, a representative of the Guaranteed Always Flowing Oil Development Company.
• Gaston threatens George to only print favorable pieces about the company — or risk winding up “in the obituary column.”
  • Quote:
    • "Print nothing but praise about our company or I am going to see that you land in the obituary column." — Connor Gaston (02:18)
• George, undeterred, jokes about being a heavyweight champion to brush off the intimidation.

2. Susan and George Clash at the Office

• George goes to Susan wanting to write an exposé on the phony oil outfit, but she remains skeptical, having spoken with Mr. Gaston herself and trusting her judgment of character.
  • Quote:
    • "I know character, George." — Susan Armstrong (04:13)
• Romantic tension and quick wit are on display as they trade barbs.
  • Susan invites George to dinner despite their disagreement (04:39).

3. Comic Relief: Sammy and Patience

• Sammy and Patience, staff at the paper and Susan’s home respectively, provide light-hearted advice and commentary.
  • Quote:
    • "You could be a success, Mr. Harvey, if you wanted to be." — Sammy (05:31)
    • "Romance, Patience, cannot be built entirely on stuffed cabbage." — Susan Armstrong (15:30)

4. The Dinner at Susan’s House

• Susan remains hopeful about the oil company and prepares a romantic dinner, while Patience jokes about George’s appetite.
• George arrives bruised but in good spirits; the dinner is marked by awkwardness and underlying affection.
  • Quote:
    • "If you think you’re going to bribe me with food, you’re right." — George Harvey (04:49)
    • "Tonight might even be the night that you know..." — Susan Armstrong, hinting at possible romantic progression (09:40)

5. Investigation and Disguises

• Despite being assigned myriad mundane newspaper duties by a miffed Susan (PTA meeting, dog show, etc.), George hatches a plan to infiltrate Gaston’s meeting by disguising himself as a plumber, suggested by Sammy.
  • Quote:
    • "In the movies, Mr. Harvey, you would burst in on Ms. Armstrong and Mr. Gaston in some suitable disguise. Like, say, a plumber." — Sammy (17:17)

6. Showdown at the Hotel

• Susan meets with Gaston, who attempts to charm her and warns of an heiress (Cecily Burnett) supposedly trying to buy up all the oil stock.
• George interrupts in his plumber disguise and tries to disrupt the meeting.
• Both George and Susan separately investigate Cecily, realizing she too is a fraud involved in the swindle.

7. Chaotic Confrontation and Resolution

• A comic dinner scene ensues with all parties coincidentally at the same bistro, leading to confusion as Gaston's plans unravel.
• Gaston's "heiress" is revealed as his wife; the scam disintegrates in a flurry of accusations and physical comedy.
  • Quote:
    • "My wife, the heiress, just opened her big rich mouth. Come on, Mrs. Vanderbilt." — Mr. Gaston (25:24)
• Susan and George work together to bring the crooks to justice in a scene mixing slapstick, romance, and triumph.
• In the end, Gaston escapes charges since no money has changed hands, but Susan and George share a moment of mutual respect.

8. Romantic Banter and Mutual Recognition

• The episode ends with Susan and George gently declaring their trust in each other's character… and resuming their affectionate bickering.
  • Quote:
    • "After all, Susan, we both know character." — George Harvey (27:02)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Threats and Comedy:
  • "Print nothing but praise about our company or I am going to see that you land in the obituary column." — Connor Gaston (02:18)
  • "Well, I used to be heavyweight champion in my college." — George Harvey (02:31)
• Romantic Tension:
  • "Why don’t you marry Miss Armstrong and let her take you out of all this?" — Sammy (05:36)
• Comic Investigative Journalism:
  • "In the movies, Mr. Harvey, you would burst in on Ms. Armstrong and Mr. Gaston in some suitable disguise. Like, say, a plumber." — Sammy (17:17)
  • "Now we’re down to personalities!" — George Harvey, during a heated exchange with Susan (14:19)
• Twist and Partnership:
  • "George, you… you did it." — Susan Armstrong (25:59)

---

Important Timestamps

• 01:42: George meets Gaston's enforcer and receives the threat
• 04:01: Susan insists on proof of a swindle, highlighting her faith in character
• 09:40: Susan and Patience prepare for the "special" dinner
• 12:25: Susan and George have an almost-romantic moment at the piano
• 17:17: Sammy suggests George go undercover as a plumber
• 18:04: Susan visits Gaston, receives an oily sales pitch
• 20:39: George and Susan each investigate the supposed heiress
• 23:36: The farcical dinner confrontation where the swindle unravels
• 27:02: George and Susan share their final tongue-in-cheek affirmation

---

Tone and Style

The episode captures the breezy, flirtatious banter and rapid-fire quips characteristic of mid-century radio comedies. The dynamic between Susan and George sparkles with mutual respect thinly veiled by constant ribbing. The story delivers both a lighthearted lampoon of small-town scandals and a wink at the screwball traditions of romantic comedies.

---

Summary prepared for those seeking the heart and humor of this classic radio adventure—without missing a beat.

Transcript

[Narrator/Announcer]

Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T Mobile and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits they leave out. Check the math@t mobile.com switch and now T mobile is in US cellular stores.

[Legal Disclaimer Speaker]

Savings versus Comparable Verizon plans plus the cost of optional benefits plan features and taxes and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required.

[Narrator/Announcer (Show Introduction)]

The Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show. Starring Irene Dunn as Susan and Fred McMurray as George. Together in the gay new exciting comedy adventure Bright Star.

[Susan Armstrong]

Have you heard what happened on the Star? Did you hear what he said to her? Do you know what she told him?

[Narrator/Announcer (Show Introduction)]

Yes, the whole town's talking. The star they're talking about is the Morning Star. A newspaper. The her they're talking about is Susan. Lovely, attractive, headstrong Susan. And the him, well you can see him right now walking down the street over there. Yes, and believe me, if he knew what was about to happen, he wouldn't be whistling.

[George Harvey]

Hey, Jack. Yeah? Oh, you mean me? Yeah, yeah, you.

[Connor Gaston]

A reporter writes pieces for the paper and stuff, ain't you?

[George Harvey]

That's right.

[Connor Gaston]

Uh huh. Well, let's step into the sally here, will you? I got an item for you.

[George Harvey]

News, eh? Sure, sure.

[Connor Gaston]

Right here's a good place.

[George Harvey]

Yeah, the sun was kind of hot out there anyway. Yeah. Well friend, what's this item you got?

[Connor Gaston]

Well, it's strictly personal, chum. You, you've been making inquiry around about concerning the guaranteed always flowing oil development company, huh?

[George Harvey]

True, I have. Yeah.

[Connor Gaston]

You've been saying like that company ain't on a level.

[George Harvey]

Well, you might say I entertain certain doubts.

[Connor Gaston]

Look, let's make it simple, hm? You've been saying that you are going to print that stuff in the Hillsdale Morning Star.

[George Harvey]

Those are my intentions.

[Connor Gaston]

Well, the president of our company, Connor Gaston, he asked me to convince you otherwise. Print nothing but praise about our company or I am going to see that you land in the obituary column.

[George Harvey]

Well that's fair warning, friend. But I think I should tell you that I used to be heavyweight champion in my college.

[Connor Gaston]

Oh, you was a champion?

[George Harvey]

Yeah. Don't believe me, eh?

[Connor Gaston]

Well yeah, sure champ, sure.

[George Harvey]

But.

[Connor Gaston]

Wonder just what college he went to.

[Sammy]

Hi, Mr. Harvey. Wow, an altercation with a truck.

[George Harvey]

I'll exchange witticisms with you later, Sammy. I want to see Ms. Armstrong.

[Sammy]

Sure, who doesn't?

[George Harvey]

Susan, I've got something to say to you.

[Susan Armstrong]

I'm on the phone, George. Really, Mr. Gaston. No, no. Well, he just came in, Mr. Gaston, and I'll certainly talk to him. Not at all. Goodbye and thank you for calling, Mr. Gaston.

[George Harvey]

Susan, I've got something to say to you, George, really.

[Susan Armstrong]

Look at your suit.

[George Harvey]

Suits get this way when they've been bounced around in the gutter. Occupants still inside.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh.

[George Harvey]

Oh, she says. Try to control your vast outpouring of sympathy, Ms. Armstrong. About this phony oil outfit that everybody in town is falling for.

[Susan Armstrong]

I've just heard from Mr. Gaston, George. He told me how you assaulted that poor little salesman of his.

[George Harvey]

He. He what?

[Susan Armstrong]

What made you do it, George?

[George Harvey]

Sunspots. Now, listen, Susan, I'm going to write an article blasting Gaston and his crooked outfit from here to.

[Susan Armstrong]

Just what proof have you?

[George Harvey]

Well. Well, none yet, but I'll have.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, I know character. I've talked to Mr. Gaston over the phone and from what Alderman Connolly tells me, Alderman Connolly?

[George Harvey]

He's as hard to bribe as a head waiter.

[Susan Armstrong]

I know character, George.

[George Harvey]

Will you stop saying that?

[Susan Armstrong]

Shouting will not convince me.

[George Harvey]

All right, all right. So we won't print anything. So Gaston sells his phony oil stock to the whole town. You happy?

[Susan Armstrong]

Do I have to remind you, George.

[George Harvey]

That you're the editor I know. No, that you inherited the paper from your father and did very nicely before I arrived. Granted that I have a nasty suspicious mind. I concur. Have I left out anything? Oh, yes, yes, yes. You know character.

[Susan Armstrong]

Thank you very much.

[George Harvey]

You're welcome.

[Susan Armstrong]

Actually, George, you worry me with all your suspicions. Why don't you come to dinner tonight and we'll talk things over comfort.

[George Harvey]

All right. But if you think you're going to bribe me with food, you're right.

[Sammy]

Working late tonight, Mr. Harvey? Lift your feet, huh?

[George Harvey]

Yeah, I'm just filing away the time. Till 6:30, Sammy.

[Susan Armstrong]

Filing away.

[Sammy]

Okay, put them down. You and the boss can live things up a little tonight.

[George Harvey]

Ms. Armstrong has been kind enough to invite me for a platonic dinner. Yes.

[Susan Armstrong]

Ha.

[George Harvey]

For one so young, Sammy, you have a very nasty. Ha, ha. Ms. Armstrong is interested in me only as a reporter.

[Sammy]

That phrase can have a very sad history, Mr. Harvey.

[George Harvey]

Sweep your floor, Sammy.

[Sammy]

You know, you could be a success, Mr. Harvey, if you wanted to be.

[George Harvey]

Your confidence touches me.

[Sammy]

Why don't you marry Miss Armstrong and let her take you out of all this?

[George Harvey]

Thank you, horatio Algier.

[Sammy]

Anytime. 6:15, Mr. Harvey.

[George Harvey]

No, thanks. Oh, say, Sammy, you haven't got a couple of bucks for a box of chocolates?

[Sammy]

There's a romantic imagination Chocolates. Take her an orchid. A single rose.

[George Harvey]

A single rose. Sammy, have you got a buck for a single rose?

[Sammy]

No.

[George Harvey]

Well, that's time to go.

[Sammy]

Visitor, Mr. Harvey.

[George Harvey]

Yeah, so I see.

[Connor Gaston]

Good evening. Boy reporters. Ms. Armstrong here.

[George Harvey]

What's it to you? What's it to you?

[Connor Gaston]

I wish I'd said that. Gets things like that off all the time.

[Sammy]

This kid, you should hear him when he's hot.

[George Harvey]

Stay off my side, Sammy. Ms. Armstrong's not here and she won't be back.

[Connor Gaston]

Well, I don't blame her. Take a message. My boss, Mr. Gaston. He's a very big man in oil. He enjoyed talking to Ms. Armstrong on the phone today. He wishes her to call on him at his hotel suite tomorrow. Can you remember all that or should I write it down?

[George Harvey]

Don't bother. Incidentally, chum, that was a pretty lucky punch you got in this afternoon.

[Connor Gaston]

Well, it happens all the time.

[George Harvey]

You think you could do it again?

[Narrator/Announcer (Show Introduction)]

It figures.

[Sammy]

Mr. Harvey, the paper needs you.

[George Harvey]

Stand aside, Sammy. This won't take long. All right.

[Mr. Gaston]

You.

[Sammy]

Poor Mr. Harvey.

[Connor Gaston]

Wonder what else he learned in college.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T Mobile and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits they leave out. Check the math. @t mobile.com switch. And now T Mobile is in U.S. cellular stores.

[Legal Disclaimer Speaker]

Savings versus comparable Verizon plans, plus the cost of optional benefits. Plan features and taxes and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credit. Stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required.

[Susan Armstrong]

Honey, this is it. Shot clock winding down, trailing by two.

[Optimum Fiber Announcer]

When you can't miss the last shot. And ne, can he? Don't take slow for an answer. Switch to optimum fiber, the fastest and most reliable fiber. Internet. Starting at just $40 a month. Call 8884 optimum or visit optimum.com today.

[George Harvey]

What went through your head on the last shot?

[Narrator/Announcer]

It all happened so fast.

[Optimum Fiber Announcer]

Optimum. Don't take slow for an answer. Turn to ply. See optimum.com for details.

[Sammy]

How's the dinner coming?

[Patience]

Patience.

[Susan Armstrong]

Mr. Harvey should be here in a minute.

[Patience]

Everything's under control, Ms. Armstrong.

[Susan Armstrong]

I want things to be especially nice tonight. Patience. Mr. Harvey and I have been having, well, one of our disagreements. No, but he was quite nice about coming to dinner.

[Patience]

Big of him. Let's see. He doesn't get paid until tomorrow. Was he nice or just weak from hunger now?

[Susan Armstrong]

George always speaks very well of you, Patience. And your cooking, too.

[Patience]

No, Fool. Georgie. What time is old freeloader due?

[Susan Armstrong]

About 6:30. I thought we might have a leisurely dinner and then retire to the music room later.

[Patience]

And then you just happen to wander over to the piano, hum a few bars or something romantic.

[Susan Armstrong]

You think that's too corny?

[Patience]

George is a corny fellow. He might even bring his saxophone along.

[Susan Armstrong]

No, I think that's in Hawk. Well, you do your best on the dinner, won't you, Patience?

[Patience]

I'll pretend I'm cooking it for my favorite movie hero.

[Susan Armstrong]

And after dinner you'll just leave us.

[Patience]

Oh, sure. Want me to burn any incense?

[Susan Armstrong]

No, no, I don't think so. No. George has hay fever.

[Patience]

If it's for free, he's got it.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I've got to finish dressing. Oh, Patience, what can I wear to make him really notice me?

[Patience]

How about a corsage of baked potatoes?

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, he is nice, isn't he?

[Patience]

Hungry, but nice.

[Susan Armstrong]

Tonight might even be the night that you know.

[Patience]

I know, I know. Tonight might be the night.

[Susan Armstrong]

I hope the piano's in tune.

[Patience]

A man who plays the sax would never notice.

[Susan Armstrong]

It's so nice to have a man around the house. It's so nice to have a man around the house. Someone who is glad he found you, who will put his arms around you.

[Patience]

I'm giving two to one nothing happens tonight. Nothing. Good evening, Mr. Harvey.

[George Harvey]

Good evening, Patience. Ah, more beautiful with each passing hour.

[Patience]

It's my perfume, Amour Hollandaise.

[George Harvey]

Turn me aside with the jest patients, but the flame still burns on.

[Patience]

You'll find a glass of water in the kitchen if it gets too hot. Hey, something happened to you?

[George Harvey]

Nothing. Nothing at all.

[Patience]

Oh, sure, sure. Well, have a chair, Gorgeous George. Ms. Armstrong will be descending the grand staircase momentarily.

[George Harvey]

Comfortable chair, pleasant house. Can't beat the cooking either. Hope my jaw is not too sore to enjoy it.

[Susan Armstrong]

George. What patient? Should have told me. I had no idea you were. George, what's happened to you?

[George Harvey]

I brought it on myself.

[Susan Armstrong]

But I only left it.

[George Harvey]

It's nothing, Susan. Nothing. Susan, you didn't dress just for me.

[Susan Armstrong]

Dress? Oh, this? Oh, just an old thing of mine.

[George Harvey]

Well, it certainly does things for you. Or vice versa, whichever the case may be.

[Susan Armstrong]

Thank you.

[George Harvey]

And sorry now I didn't put on my other tie.

[Susan Armstrong]

Sit down, George.

[George Harvey]

Oh, didn't realize I was standing I tribute to your dress.

[Susan Armstrong]

Your glove.

[George Harvey]

You know, Susan, it always surprises me to see you when you're outside of the office. You look like a different person.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, thanks very much.

[George Harvey]

I didn't exactly mean it the way it Sounded. I just meant that. Well, women in business, you know, our.

[Susan Armstrong]

Place is in the home.

[George Harvey]

No, no, no, no, not that at all. In fact, I can't imagine you in a home. I mean. Yes, well, what I mean is you. Where's my hat? I'll go quietly.

[Susan Armstrong]

Just don't talk so much, George. Well, look, the piano. I haven't played in ages. Do you mind? No, no, no.

[George Harvey]

Won't bother me at all. I mean. I mean, I. I love it. Love it.

[Susan Armstrong]

Will you help me move this bench, George?

[George Harvey]

Certainly. Yeah, all right. You know, Susan, I was just noticing the candlelight. It does something to you.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, what?

[George Harvey]

It makes you look. I don't know, changed.

[Susan Armstrong]

Does it?

[George Harvey]

Susan, we shouldn't argue all the time like that thing today. I shouldn't have blown up the way I did it. It was foolish.

[Susan Armstrong]

It's all right, George.

[George Harvey]

What do we care if some crook pedals a few shares of phony oil stock here in town? Hillsdale hasn't been taken for a long time.

[Susan Armstrong]

I am sure, George, that the development of the new Hillsdale oil field will do a lot for our city.

[George Harvey]

Oh, sure. Hillsdale, the new Arabian.

[Susan Armstrong]

And why not? I have every faith that Mr. Gaston and his organization and I know character.

[George Harvey]

Character? Character. You told me.

[Susan Armstrong]

Now, look, here's something you didn't know, Mr. Harvey. There's an error stopping at the General Grant Hotel. Ms. Cecily Burnett. And she's here to try and buy up the entire stock issue. Freeze Hillsdale out.

[George Harvey]

It'll be the warmest winter we ever had.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, how are you? The most exasperate. Cigarettes, thank you. We shall not discuss Mr. Gaston further.

[George Harvey]

Quite. Ah, the galler. That phony. He sent word that he was quite fascinated with you and would like you to call at the hotel tomorrow.

[Susan Armstrong]

How interesting.

[George Harvey]

Susan, you're not going.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, why not?

[George Harvey]

Why not? You think I'd let you alone with that fake moose?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I fail to see that you have a great amount of choice in the matter.

[George Harvey]

Oh, you do? Well, if you're going, then I'm going with you.

[Susan Armstrong]

There seems to be more than the usual confusion in your mind. George. You are a reporter on my paper, not my guard.

[George Harvey]

Well, right now you. What you need is a guardian, a.

[Susan Armstrong]

Dinner right amount of jealousy rearing its tousled head.

[George Harvey]

Oh, sure. Just because I can smell a crook a mile off, it's jealousy.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, if you can smell a crook as well as you can send food, well, I might be impressed.

[George Harvey]

Personalities. All right, if we're down to personality job, how about that Dinner is served.

[Patience]

What? Dinner.

[Connor Gaston]

Oh.

[George Harvey]

Oh, my arm. Miss Armstrong.

[Susan Armstrong]

I can manage quite nicely, Mr. Harvey.

[Patience]

Somehow I doubt very much that tonight is the night.

[Narrator/Announcer (Show Introduction)]

Now, suppose we get back to our two stars, Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray in the second act of our story. Let's see now, Irene. Sorry, I mean Susan is just about to go down.

[Susan Armstrong]

Good morning, Patience. Good morning, Miss Armstrong.

[Patience]

Your breakfast is ready.

[Susan Armstrong]

Thank you.

[Patience]

I take it that last night was not exactly an evening with Valentino.

[Susan Armstrong]

Your assumption is correct, Patience.

[Patience]

Too bad you got a big investment in food in George.

[Susan Armstrong]

A romance. Patience cannot be built entirely on stuffed cabbage.

[Patience]

That's open to question.

[Susan Armstrong]

However.

[Connor Gaston]

Oh.

[Patience]

Phone. Are you in?

[Susan Armstrong]

Miss Armstrong to Mr. Harvey.

[Patience]

No. Hello, Georgie.

[Susan Armstrong]

I am not in.

[Patience]

She is not in, Mr. Harvey.

[Susan Armstrong]

Wonder what he wanted.

[Patience]

Why didn't you talk to him and find out?

[Susan Armstrong]

I couldn't. Well, I. Oh.

[Mr. Gaston]

Hello.

[Patience]

He wants to know if you're still not in.

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes, hello?

[Patience]

She says yes. He wants to know if you said, yes, you're not in, or yes, you are in.

[Susan Armstrong]

I'll take it. Patience. Hello, Susan.

[George Harvey]

I just wanted to make sure you weren't serious about calling on that phony oil promoter today.

[Susan Armstrong]

Mr. Harvey, as editor of the Star, I cannot see how my appointments are a source of concern to you.

[George Harvey]

But, Susan, I.

[Susan Armstrong]

However, your movements as a reporter are in my field, therefore.

[George Harvey]

But, Susan.

[Susan Armstrong]

Therefore, you will cover the PTA convention at 10, the dog show at 11, the Rotarian luncheon at 12, hog breeders exhibit at 1, the chrysanthemum grower show at 2 and be in my office from 3 to 5 to write your stories. Any questions?

[George Harvey]

Yes. Are you mad at me?

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes.

[Patience]

Poor Georgie.

[Sammy]

Well, morose is a word for Mr. Harvey.

[George Harvey]

I'm a strong man, Sammy. I wish to brood in silence.

[Sammy]

Miss Armstrong has gone to call on the oil promoter. Pretty racy fellas. Oil promoters.

[George Harvey]

Go fill an ink well.

[Sammy]

Why don't you strike back, Mr. Harvey?

[George Harvey]

How?

[Sammy]

In the movies, Mr. Harvey, you would burst in on Ms. Armstrong and Mr. Gaston in some suitable disguise. Like, say, a plumber.

[George Harvey]

Well, that's a silly idea if I ever heard one. Plumber, huh?

[Sammy]

Borrow a wrench and a plunger. Your suit is just right for it, Sammy.

[George Harvey]

I may do it. I may just do it.

[Sammy]

The spirit of the pioneers.

[George Harvey]

And if this Gaston steps one inch out of line. Sammy, where can I get a nice big fat wrench?

[Mr. Gaston]

Yes, ma'.

[George Harvey]

Am.

[Susan Armstrong]

Mr. Carter? Gaston? I'm Susan Armstrong from the Hillsdale Morning Star.

[Mr. Gaston]

Oh, come in, come in. Miss Armstrong, very considerate of you to come.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, not at all, Mr. Gaston.

[Mr. Gaston]

Here now, just take this chair, Ms. Armstrong, where I can look at you. Like to look a person right smack in the eye, ma'.

[George Harvey]

Am.

[Mr. Gaston]

Can tell what sort they are in a minute.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I always think so too.

[Mr. Gaston]

Nothing shifty eyed about you, ma'. Am, if you'll excuse the liberty.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, thank you, Mr. Gaston.

[Mr. Gaston]

And you and I, Ms. Armstrong, we can do a lot for this city of yours. Civic betterment.

[Susan Armstrong]

The greatest good for the greatest number.

[Mr. Gaston]

Exactly. Did you know, ma', am, that a young lady of great wealth is right here in this same hotel trying to buy up my entire issue of stock before the public gets a chance at it?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, you're not going to sell?

[Mr. Gaston]

Well, I haven't met the lady yet, Ms. Burnett of the eastern steamship Burnett's, I believe. But I would much rather give the honest folks of Hillsdale a chance to cash in on the rich natural resources of their little community.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I think that's a fine sentiment, Mr. Gaston.

[Mr. Gaston]

Why, thank you, Ms. Susan. And if you'll permit me to say so, I plumber.

[George Harvey]

Why, George, I. I hear you got a leaky pipe, Mr. Gaston.

[Mr. Gaston]

Before you come busting in here, son, knock.

[George Harvey]

No, I'm sorry, but don't let me interrupt anything. I'll just go quietly on with my words.

[Susan Armstrong]

You were saying, Mr. Gaston?

[Mr. Gaston]

Why, well, where.

[Connor Gaston]

What?

[Mr. Gaston]

Oh yes. If you'll permit me to say so, Ms. Susan, the good opinion of a fine woman like yourself means more to me than. Than any. The good opinion of a fine woman like you means more to me.

[Susan Armstrong]

I can't.

[Mr. Gaston]

I said the good.

[George Harvey]

Well, I found the trouble.

[Susan Armstrong]

Good, then you're leaving?

[George Harvey]

No, no, no. I have to rip out a section of the wall here.

[Mr. Gaston]

Ms. Susan, may we continue this conversation over dinner?

[George Harvey]

Where are you eating?

[Susan Armstrong]

Will you call me Mr. Gaston?

[Mr. Gaston]

Oh, my pleasure, ma'.

[George Harvey]

Am.

[Mr. Gaston]

Goodbye now. Until tonight.

[George Harvey]

I'm sorry, I'll be back. I forgot my pickaxe.

[Susan Armstrong]

George Harvey. Of all the low, underhanded, sneaky, treacherous. Yes.

[George Harvey]

Susan, if you can't see through this whole swindle by yourself, allow me to.

[Susan Armstrong]

Make my own judgments. Mr. Harvey. I know.

[Sammy]

Can't.

[George Harvey]

I know? Susan. Susan, this, this oil scheme is a fake. What's more, I think this so called heiress here in the hotel, this Cecily Burnett is a fake too. And I'm going to interview her and prove it.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, you are? Oh, you just love that purely business Susan. You're so right, Mr. Harvey. And I'm going to be around to see that it stays purely business.

[George Harvey]

Well, Ms. Burnett, yes, I. I represent the Hillsdale Morning Star, Ms. Burnett, and.

[Susan Armstrong]

But how clever of you. I'll take one.

[George Harvey]

No, no, no, no. You see, Ms. Burnett, I'm a reporter.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, of course you are. Come in, Sit down.

[Patience]

Report.

[Susan Armstrong]

Thank you, no. Right here by me now.

[George Harvey]

Well, just a few questions about your business in Hillsdale, Ms. Burnett. You see.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, you want to interview me. You sw.

[George Harvey]

You see, there's an oil promotion scheme underway here in town, Ms. Burnett, and I.

[Susan Armstrong]

Brown eyes.

[George Harvey]

Oh, you see, I have reason to believe this Gaston isn't what he presumes to be. And six, two. No, no, six, three. But if you're really considering putting money into this thing, Miss Burnett, well, I just don't think it would be very wise.

[Susan Armstrong]

Excuse, please. Three o' clock's next, Susan. Courtesy of the General Grant Hotel. Put it on the end table. Now, then, as I was saying, how do you know I like wavy hair? You want it over here? Yes, and please hurry. Now then, golden boy, your name is?

[George Harvey]

George. George Hudson.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, I'm sorry, ma'. Am. Will you please get out of here? I'm sorry, George. I didn't catch your last name.

[George Harvey]

It's Dope.

[Susan Armstrong]

What did you say? Oh, I said I hope everything's all right. Well, it's not all right. Now, you please get out of here and get out fast. Oh, certainly, ma'. Am. Now, where were we? Golden boy. Golden boy. Oh, brother. I'm sorry, George. Now, I know what you want. You want to save me millions of dollars and you want to tell me all about it tonight over dinner?

[George Harvey]

Roughly, yes.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, you do sweep a girl off her feet, Georgie. What time is dinner?

[George Harvey]

Oh, 9ish.

[Susan Armstrong]

You speak the language, all right. Get around, but not around me. You, reporter.

[George Harvey]

Until tonight, Cecily.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, until tonight. Au revoir, Geordie.

[George Harvey]

Oh. Oh. Au revoir.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, these Frenchmen. Irresistible. Well, Charles Boyer, coming in.

[George Harvey]

There is a waitress. Susan, of all the low conniving.

[Susan Armstrong]

An heiress. If she's an heiress, I'm Pocahontas.

[George Harvey]

If you were any judge of character, Pokey, you'd know that this girl is in danger of being the innocent victim of that swindler you were so eager to make a dinner date with.

[Susan Armstrong]

I was eager? Well, I didn't notice any long pauses in the conversation while you were making a date with her.

[George Harvey]

We will not discuss conversations overheard through.

[Susan Armstrong]

Keyholes banging into a room. As a plumber, I suppose that's recommended by Emily Post.

[George Harvey]

Now you listen, Susan.

[Susan Armstrong]

Now, you listen to me, George. After all, where you go tonight is not of the slightest concern to me.

[George Harvey]

Likewise, I'm sure.

[Susan Armstrong]

Au revoir, Mr. Harvey.

[George Harvey]

Au revoir, Ms. Armstrong.

[Mr. Gaston]

Good evening, Monsieur Harvey and madam.

[George Harvey]

Oh, bonjour, Charles. Table for two, if you will follow me, please.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, what a delightful little bistro, Georgie. Sort of a subway with music.

[George Harvey]

It is a little crowded, Cecily.

[Narrator/Announcer (Show Introduction)]

Monsieur Harvey, your table.

[George Harvey]

Susan.

[Susan Armstrong]

George. How nice that we should have adjoining tables.

[George Harvey]

Adjoining? They're practically overlapping.

[Susan Armstrong]

Mr. Gaston, you remember Mr. Harvey, the plumber.

[Mr. Gaston]

Pleasure to see you again, sir.

[George Harvey]

And Miss Burnett. Miss Armstrong, a waitress.

[Susan Armstrong]

How do you do? How do you do?

[George Harvey]

And Mr. Gaston. Miss Burnett.

[Mr. Gaston]

Real pleasure, Miss Burnett. Ma'. Am. Why did you have to come here?

[Susan Armstrong]

Quite pleasure, Mr. Gaston. And entirely unexpected, I'm sure.

[George Harvey]

Shall we sit down, Cecily?

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes, of course. Just bring me a shoehorn, Georgie, and I think I can make it there.

[George Harvey]

No trouble at all, was it?

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, pardon me. George, my salad. I know you don't like garlic, so if you'll just wring out your sleeve.

[George Harvey]

Oh, sorry. Is that better?

[Mr. Gaston]

Mr. Harvester? As long as you've got your elbow in my butter, would you mind just running your arm over my corn on the cob?

[George Harvey]

I certainly would.

[Susan Armstrong]

Ignore them, Georgie. I'm sure they had a lot to talk about before we came. Yes, we did have a lot to talk about, didn't we, Carter? Carter, I'm sure George wants to tell Cecily all about the plumbing business. And you were explaining oil to me.

[Mr. Gaston]

Oh, we don't have to talk, Ms. Susan. When I can feel your little hand in mine under the table.

[Susan Armstrong]

It's my hand. You cheat. Double crossing chisel.

[Mr. Gaston]

Oh, Cecily.

[Susan Armstrong]

Out on a business engagement tonight, you told me. Why, you.

[Mr. Gaston]

Sit down, dear. You're an heiress.

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes, and I'm just about to become a widow, too. Let me, Adam. George. George.

[Patience]

Yes, George.

[Connor Gaston]

Let her out here now, take it easy, Cecily. Hey, you got trouble. Mr. Gaston.

[Mr. Gaston]

Glad you come in, Rocky.

[George Harvey]

Were blowing town.

[Mr. Gaston]

My wife, the heiress, just opened her big rich mouth. Come on, Mrs. Vanderbilt.

[Susan Armstrong]

Get away, George.

[George Harvey]

I'll stop him. Susan, stay here.

[Mr. Gaston]

Rocky, if the demon reporter here gets noisy, keep him quiet. Come on.

[Connor Gaston]

I can handle him, boss. Hey, sit down there, fire eater.

[George Harvey]

Sit down. Nothing this time, you musclebound clown. I'm going to Susan to the cop.

[Susan Armstrong]

You take your hands off my George, you. Hey, the little lady hit me.

[George Harvey]

And so did I.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, George, you were so masterful.

[George Harvey]

Oh, you can't fool around forever with George Harvey. Susan. Of course you helped a little.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, you. You did it.

[George Harvey]

Well, have it your way, Susan. We won't argue. Mr. Harvey, what has happened? Well, only two for dinner, Charles. The other couple won't be staying.

[Narrator/Announcer (Show Introduction)]

Our stars, Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will be back in a moment.

[Susan Armstrong]

George?

[George Harvey]

Yes, Susan?

[Susan Armstrong]

Finished your story?

[George Harvey]

Just about. I had a call from police headquarters that they couldn't hold Gaston and his wife. They actually hadn't sold any stock yet.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, you don't actually think I was taken in by him, do you?

[Sammy]

Do you?

[George Harvey]

Susan, you don't actually think that I was taken in even for a minute by his wife, the phony heiress, do you?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I don't if you don't, George, if you know what I mean.

[George Harvey]

I think I know what you mean. After all, Susan, we both no character.

[Narrator/Announcer (Show Introduction)]

Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will be back next week in another exciting comedy adventure in the gay new series Bright Star. This is Harry von Zell inviting you to join us then.

[Susan Armstrong]

Sam.

[Narrator/Announcer]

Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T Mobile and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits they leave out. Check the math at T mobile.com/switch and now T Mobile is in U S Cellular stores.

[Legal Disclaimer Speaker]

Savings versus comparable Verizon plans plus the cost of optional benefits, plan features and Texas and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required.

[Susan Armstrong]

Honey, this is it. Shot clock winding down, trailing by two.

[Optimum Fiber Announcer]

When you can't miss the last shot and neither can he. Don't take slow for an answer if.

[Susan Armstrong]

Estrello shoots good to see it.

[Optimum Fiber Announcer]

Switch to optimum fiber, the fastest and most reliable fiber Internet starting at just $40 a month. Call 8884 optimum or visit optimum.com today.

[George Harvey]

What went through your head on the last shot?

[Narrator/Announcer]

It all happened so fast.

[Optimum Fiber Announcer]

Optimum. Don't take slow for an answer. Turn to ply seeoptimum.com for details.