Bright Star 53-02-26 (19) The Haunted House

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Bright Star 53-02-26 (19): The Haunted House
Date: October 29, 2025
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio

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Episode Overview

This episode features a classic installment of Bright Star, a comedic adventure radio show headlined by Irene Dunne as Susan Armstrong, a sharp editor, and Fred MacMurray as George Harvey, her witty, slightly lackadaisical reporter. The story throws the dynamic duo into the middle of a supposed haunting and a criminal mystery at Hillsdale’s infamous Collins House. As they attempt to uncover the truth—both for a headline and out of curiosity—they run into gangsters, skeptical police, and more than a few close shaves, all set against a backdrop of sharp humor and light romantic tension.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Highlights

Setting the Stage at the Morning Star

• Susan confronts George about his recent lack of good stories
  • George jokingly blames it on the town’s dullness ([01:40]–[02:12]).
• Susan challenges George to visit the police and chase a story at the haunted Collins House.
  • “I just want you to spend the night in it.” – Susan Armstrong ([04:49])
• Classic banter and a “civic duty” to investigate the supernatural!

The Collins House: Haunting or Hijinks?

• Atmosphere builds with thunder, rain, and jokes about ghost hunting ([07:39]–[08:20])
• Strange events: Anonymous calls, suspicious lights, possible shots, and a vanishing body
  • “A man about my size shot through the head… Dead as a smoked herring.” – George Harvey ([10:26])
• Police arrive but are skeptical, suspecting a publicity stunt for Susan’s paper.

Trouble with Gangsters

• Susan receives a call from local gangster Joe Roberti, who ominously says he’s coming over ([11:15])
• George is summoned, knocked unconscious, and wakes up with his head in Susan’s lap ([14:38])
• Joe Roberti’s “warning”: Don’t meddle with their business at the Collins House
  • “He gives me a bump on the head and then leaves it to us to figure it out.” – George Harvey ([15:58])

Unraveling the Mystery

• Sergeant Barry believes all the “haunted” occurrences are stunts for publicity.
• Susan and George return to Collins House, observing a barge and suspicious activity
  • “Looked like a barge out there. And they’re loading something heavy into the old house.” – Susan ([19:36])
• Caught by Joe Roberti, they’re marched into the house and discover the truth:
  • “A printing press.” – George Harvey ([22:06])
• The haunted house is a front for a counterfeiting operation.

The Daring Escape

• George and Susan use the river and confusion to escape Roberti and his men ([22:43])

Resolution and Romance

• Back at the office, Sammy delivers the paper announcing the bust: “Counterfeit ring smashed, heroic rescue!” ([23:54])
• Romantic, witty closure between Susan and George:
  • “Would this help?” – Susan (possibly a kiss) ([24:40])
  • “Wait till the pupil starts giving the teacher lessons.” – George ([24:50])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Susan dismisses George’s lack of initiative:

  • “It’s just that you haven’t turned up a first class story in a long while.” – Susan Armstrong ([02:09])

• On haunted house skepticism:

  • “Am I afraid to spend the night in the old Collins house? That’s a fair question, George.” – George Harvey (self-reference, [05:09])

• Romantic tension mixed with humor during the investigation:

  • “Want me to hold your hand?” – George Harvey
  • “Yes. Thunderstorms scare me to death.” – Susan Armstrong ([07:50])

• Comedic police frustration:

  • “We wouldn’t have come this time if it hadn’t been for Ms. Armstrong who made the report... And I found the body. It’s in there, right at the end of the hall. Dead, very dead.” – Sergeant Barry and George ([10:00])

• George’s reaction to danger:

  • “Here, hang on to me. Hang on to my belt and keep your head up.” – George Harvey ([22:51])

• Post-escape newspaper excitement:

  • “Read all about it. Counterfeit ring smashed. Heroic rescue.” – Sammy ([23:54])

• Romantic closing lines:

  • “Would this help?” – Susan Armstrong ([24:40])
  • “I’m learning. And you know something? Wait till the pupil starts giving the teacher lessons.” – George Harvey ([24:49])

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Important Timestamps

• 01:31 – Tension in the newsroom, Susan presses George for stories
• 04:49 – Susan’s request for George to spend the night in the haunted house
• 07:39–08:20 – Arrival at the Collins House, stormy atmosphere
• 10:00–10:44 – Discovery (and disappearance) of the “body”
• 11:15 – Gangster Joe Roberti calls Susan
• 14:38–15:14 – George wakes after being knocked out; Susan nurses him
• 19:36 – Susan spots suspicious activity at the Collins House
• 22:06 – Discovery of printing press and counterfeit scheme revealed
• 22:51–23:26 – River escape under gunfire
• 23:54 – Sammy delivers the big news back at the office
• 24:40 – Romantic closure between Susan and George

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Overall Tone and Style

Light, witty banter and romantic undertones pervade the episode, set against a backdrop of small-town crime and mystery. The dynamic between Susan and George is teasing yet affectionate, their rapid-fire exchanges punctuated by moments of genuine concern and courage. The humor is old-fashioned and playful, characteristic of mid-century radio comedies but still engaging, with a pace that easily keeps listeners’ attention.

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Summary in a Line:
A supposedly haunted house leads Susan and George into the middle of a gangster’s counterfeiting scheme, with plenty of fast-paced humor and charm along the way.

Transcript

[Narrator]

Meet Olivia.

[Susan Armstrong]

Hey, what's up?

[Narrator]

Olivia dreams big.

[Susan Armstrong]

I want to go back to school and get a pet and buy a house and save for retirement and travel the world.

[Narrator]

That's quite the list.

[Susan Armstrong]

Thank you.

[Narrator]

Numerica Credit Union is the perfect partner to help turn Olivia's dreams into reality.

[Susan Armstrong]

Really?

[George Harvey]

Yep.

[Narrator]

We're all about helping our members create a life that feels like theirs. And we have the tools, expertise and guidance to make it happen.

[Susan Armstrong]

I'm in. Let's get started.

[Narrator]

Money where it matters. Federally insured by NCUA.

[Announcer]

The Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show. Starring Irene Dunn as Susan and Fred McMurray as George. Together in a gay, new exciting comedy adventure. Bright Star. The Irene Dunn Fred McMurray Show. With Irene Dunn as Susan Armstrong, owner and editor of the Hillsdale Morning star, and Fred McMurray as George Harvey, her ace reporter. Things, as usual, are happening in the offices of the Morning Star. And as usual, they're happening to Susan and George.

[Susan Armstrong]

Here he is.

[Sammy]

Miss Armstrong.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, Mr. Harvey, I suppose you have a good reason for not answering the phone in your office.

[George Harvey]

Best reason in the world. I wasn't in my office.

[Susan Armstrong]

That wasn't funny, Sammy. Yes, ma'.

[Sergeant Barry]

Am.

[George Harvey]

Personally, I thought it had a delightful touch of the pixie about it. But we could be wrong, eh, Sammy?

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes, sir? Would I be overstepping my authority if I inquired where you were?

[George Harvey]

Perfectly within your eyes, boss. I was down in the basement playing a little gin with the printers.

[Susan Armstrong]

Last week it was poker with the circulation department, Today it's gin with the printers. Probably working yourself up to matching pennies with the newsboys.

[George Harvey]

That wasn't funny, Sammy.

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes, sir. Sammy will decide those things for himself.

[George Harvey]

Yes, boss.

[Susan Armstrong]

It's just that you haven't turned up a first class story in a long while.

[George Harvey]

Well, it's this town, not me. Nothing happens.

[Susan Armstrong]

Have you been to the police department lately?

[George Harvey]

No.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, you know, it's just possible you might get a story there.

[George Harvey]

Well, frankly, boss, I can't afford the police department.

[Susan Armstrong]

What do you mean?

[George Harvey]

They play sharper gin than the printers downstairs. If you'd care to giggle. Sammy. She said you were on your own. Thank you, Sammy.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, I'll expect you back here in an hour.

[George Harvey]

From where?

[Susan Armstrong]

The police department. And try to bring back a story.

[George Harvey]

I promise. I can see the headline now. Underpaid reporter cleaned by the city's finest. Or cops. Cop coppers from Cub.

[Sergeant Barry]

Excuse me, Harvey. Sergeant Barry. Yeah, yeah, okay. Take one of the squad cars.

[George Harvey]

Have a look. Anything hot, Sergeant?

[Sergeant Barry]

Ah, some kids shooting tin cans with BB guns?

[George Harvey]

What? What's wrong with that?

[Sergeant Barry]

Yeah, that cans happen to be on the shelves of the Acme Grocery Company.

[George Harvey]

Well, that might make a story. And yet it might not. Hey, Sarge. I heard a little rumor the other day. Just wondering about it.

[Announcer]

Yeah?

[George Harvey]

So? A couple of big time gamblers in town.

[Sergeant Barry]

You can hear anything.

[George Harvey]

Joe and Dave Roberti and some of the boys. They're staying at the Grandview Motel. Well, I just thought you might want to do something about it.

[Sergeant Barry]

Like what?

[George Harvey]

How should I know?

[Joe Roberti]

You're the law.

[Sergeant Barry]

Until they kill somebody, I can't even get them for income tax evasion.

[George Harvey]

They've been here for five days.

[Sergeant Barry]

I can count.

[George Harvey]

What do they want?

[Sergeant Barry]

How would I know?

[George Harvey]

Why don't you ask them?

[Sergeant Barry]

I did.

[George Harvey]

Yeah? What did they say?

[Sergeant Barry]

They didn't seem to want to tell me.

[George Harvey]

Unfriendly, huh?

[Sergeant Barry]

Very well.

[George Harvey]

Sooner or later the Morning Star will find out why they're here.

[Sergeant Barry]

If you do, you tell me.

[George Harvey]

If I do, you'll read it in the paper. By the way, Sergeant, you do read, don't you?

[Sergeant Barry]

Everything, including the riot act. And if you're not out of here.

[George Harvey]

Don't get excited, Sergeant. I was just on my way.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, take your feet off my desk.

[George Harvey]

Sorry.

[Susan Armstrong]

Tell me, what do you think?

[George Harvey]

What do I think? I think you're beautiful.

[Susan Armstrong]

That is what I meant.

[George Harvey]

Well, it's what I meant. Okay. You were talking about the old Collins place. I'm not sure I remember it.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, it's that big, dark, dilapidated old house down on the riverfront. Hasn't been lived in for 30 or 40 years. It was once considered the show place of the town, but now it's a wreck. You know that place at the end of Dock Street?

[George Harvey]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember. Broken windows, roof bare of shingles, paint washed away. Front porch caved in.

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes, that's a place.

[George Harvey]

Well, what do you want me to do, paint it?

[Susan Armstrong]

No, I just want you to spend the night in it.

[George Harvey]

Spend the why?

[Susan Armstrong]

Because you don't think it's haunted, do you? George, I'm simply looking for a story. Now, don't you think it's a civic duty of the Morning Star to investigate?

[George Harvey]

Investigate something you just dreamed up? Well, in a sense, no doubt.

[Susan Armstrong]

What's the matter? You afraid?

[George Harvey]

Am I afraid to spend the night in the old Collins house? That's a fair question, George.

[Susan Armstrong]

I'm half inclined to do it with.

[George Harvey]

You if you have a free evening. Can't we think of something better to do than that?

[Susan Armstrong]

We could take flashlights and sandwiches and Bottles and guns.

[George Harvey]

Oh, guns, sure. Wait a minute, Susan. You don't mean we're actually going to do this idiotic thing?

[Susan Armstrong]

Of course, I could cover the story myself.

[George Harvey]

Okay. Am I a man or am I a hired hand?

[Susan Armstrong]

Good. I'm glad you look at it so sensibly.

[George Harvey]

Yeah. How about dinner? On you?

[Susan Armstrong]

Okay. Here goes another half buck. Come on, ghost hunter.

[George Harvey]

Susan Doll.

[Susan Armstrong]

Ms. Armstrong.

[George Harvey]

Ms. Armstrong. Doll, I've got to make a phone call. Would you excuse me? Keep my dinner warm for me, all right.

[Joe Roberti]

Police.

[George Harvey]

Sergeant Barry, please. Sergeant Barry, this is George Harvey. Say, Serge, this call is maybe for nothing, but I just got a hunch. Is there anything you can tell me about that old Collins place down on the riverfront?

[Joe Roberti]

Yeah.

[Sergeant Barry]

All I know is the last few weeks it's been a pain in the neck.

[George Harvey]

Why?

[Sergeant Barry]

Anonymous phone calls. 8, 10, 12 maybe. Investigate. Screams, gunshots, light, suspicious characters. Somebody with a sense of humor.

[George Harvey]

I guess my hunch was right.

[Sergeant Barry]

And every time we went through the place from top to bottom.

[George Harvey]

What did you find?

[Sergeant Barry]

Nothing. Exactly. Nothing.

[George Harvey]

Not even a ghost?

[Sergeant Barry]

Not even a ghost of a ghost. It'll be a long time before we answer another call about that place. That what you want him to know?

[George Harvey]

Not especially, Sergeant. But thanks anyway.

[Susan Armstrong]

To make your call.

[George Harvey]

Yeah. Susan, what a sneaky thing to do. You knew all about those anonymous calls to the cops.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, yes, of course.

[Announcer]

Of course.

[George Harvey]

She says.

[Susan Armstrong]

Angry, aren't you?

[George Harvey]

Angry? No, I'm just scared. Maybe that place is haunted. What do you think goes on in that broken down palace?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I don't know. But if we find out, that's what I want for the Sunday feature. Come on, let's pack up our ammunition and go. Well, here we are. Yeah, I think it's going to rain.

[George Harvey]

It is raining.

[Susan Armstrong]

Knew I couldn't be wrong. Oh, lightning.

[George Harvey]

Check. Lightning.

[Susan Armstrong]

Thunder.

[George Harvey]

Right again. Want me to hold your hand?

[Susan Armstrong]

The hand of the editor and publisher of the Morning Star? Yes. Thunderstorm scare me to death. Do you mind if I seem to be pressing my face against your chest?

[George Harvey]

No, not at all. It isn't raining. Rain, you know. It's raining cats and dogs.

[Susan Armstrong]

I've heard it sung better.

[George Harvey]

And if it's raining, have no regrets. There will be puddles out in the streets.

[Susan Armstrong]

Regrets?

[George Harvey]

Oh, well, I'm a reporter, not a poet. And the shower has passed. For the moment anyway.

[Susan Armstrong]

Yeah, so it has.

[George Harvey]

Now we're here we go right into that black, deserted hulk of unknown tears.

[Susan Armstrong]

No wonder people think it's haunted. George, look.

[George Harvey]

Yeah, it looks like somebody's moving around in there with a light?

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes. Well, George, what are you going to do?

[George Harvey]

Editors and publishers ask the silliest questions.

[Susan Armstrong]

Now, George, wait. I'm coming too.

[George Harvey]

Well, here's the door. Why don't you go back to the car, Susan, and try to act like a good girl?

[Susan Armstrong]

Because I'm not a good girl. I am the editor and publisher of the fastest growing paper. Susan, you're fired. Insubordination.

[George Harvey]

Stop shivering or don't shiver so close to me. Makes it harder to pick this lock.

[Susan Armstrong]

Did you ever pick a lock before, George?

[George Harvey]

Oh, I used to count that day lost when I didn't pick. At least there I got it. Listen.

[Susan Armstrong]

Did you hear anything?

[George Harvey]

Yeah, I thought I did, but I.

[Susan Armstrong]

Might as well find out. Anybody home?

[George Harvey]

Susan.

[Susan Armstrong]

That was a shock.

[George Harvey]

That's what it sounded like.

[Susan Armstrong]

What do we do?

[George Harvey]

Write a letter to our congressman? Here, give me that flashlight. Thanks. Now get back in the car and drive to the police station. Go on.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, I'm so glad you're not hurt. Won't this make a wonderful story?

[George Harvey]

Sure, sure. I can see the headlines. Reporter not hurt. It'll kill the people and sell enough papers to stop on a medium sized rat hole, Sergeant.

[Sergeant Barry]

Well, George, anything for publicity.

[George Harvey]

What do you mean?

[Sergeant Barry]

You know how many times we gone through this dump. We wouldn't have come this time if it hadn't been for Ms. Armstrong who made the report. She says you heard somebody shot.

[Susan Armstrong]

But I did, Sergeant. Didn't we, George?

[George Harvey]

We certainly did. And I found the body. It's in there, right at the end of the hall. Dead, Very dead.

[Sergeant Barry]

Let's go, boys. Ms. Armstrong, you say where you are, George? Harvey, you come with me. Now tell me, George, what'd you find?

[George Harvey]

A man about my size shot through the head. There's the door. Open it and see for yourself. I don't know, Sergeant.

[Sergeant Barry]

Where's the body?

[George Harvey]

So help me, Sarge, he was lying here. Right here with a hole through his head. Dead. Dead as a smoked herring.

[Sergeant Barry]

And he got up and walked away.

[George Harvey]

That's the way it looks, doesn't it?

[Sergeant Barry]

Also, it looks as if this whole affair was a publicity stunt for the Morning Star. And as are you, Harvey, I'm gonna crucify you. I'm gonna make a special point of it. Come on, men, let's get out of here.

[Susan Armstrong]

Would I should get it, Ms. Susan? No, patience, I'll answer it.

[Joe Roberti]

Hello, this is Joe Roberti. I want to talk to the dame.

[George Harvey]

Who runs a paper, the Morning Star.

[Susan Armstrong]

Patience, it's Joe Roberti, the gangster. I run The Morning Star. Mr. Roberti, what can I do for you?

[Joe Roberti]

Just stay right where you are until I get there.

[Susan Armstrong]

He's coming over here. Well, if I'd have known he was coming, I'd have baked a cake. I never saw a real genuine gangster before. What's he want? Well, I don't know. Well, he'll probably tell you. Patience, is there a gun in the house? Sure, sure, in the gun room. Trench mortars, bazookas, Tommy guns, 155s. You name it, we got it. You've been listening to too many radio shows, Patience. No gun? No gun. Well, I've got to try and get George. You love him, don't you? George? George? What do you mean, do I love George? Oh, don't you? Don't be a fool. I wouldn't.

[George Harvey]

Hello, is this the editor and publisher of the Hillsdale Morningstar?

[Susan Armstrong]

George, where are.

[George Harvey]

As it happens, I'm at the office and I've just been writing you a little note. Shall I read it to you, George? To Susan Armstrong from George Harvey when I left the charming old Collins mansion.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, how soon can you get here?

[George Harvey]

No, I'm tired and wet and disgusted. If you want to apologize, you can do it now by phone.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, George, you idiot. Listen, Joe Roberti called me and he's coming over here now.

[George Harvey]

Joe Roberti? Why?

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, it's probably nothing more than a little rub out.

[George Harvey]

Hold everything, Susan. I'll be there.

[Susan Armstrong]

Miss Susan. I suppose you're going to want sandwiches and stuff for your gangster friend. Don't you dare leave this room. Patience, don't worry. When this Roberti mug comes, I'll be sitting here knitting. Poor old Patience, just minus a few of her buttons. Oh, there he is. Ago.

[Joe Roberti]

Hi. Come in, boys. A couple of friends of mine. It's wet outside. I want to talk to you a minute. It's a nice place you got here. Who's the old dame?

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, Patience, this is Joe Roberti and a couple of friends of his. How do you do?

[Joe Roberti]

I. Scram.

[Susan Armstrong]

Scram. Oh, of course, scram. Do you too? Sit down, gentlemen. Well, Mr. Roberti, I got something I.

[Joe Roberti]

Want to talk to you about.

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes?

[Joe Roberti]

It's this guy that works for you.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I've got a number of guys working for me.

[Joe Roberti]

Mr. Roberti, George Harvey. Oh, we want to talk to the Bodys.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, will you pardon me? Sit down.

[Joe Roberti]

I'll get it.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, I'd like to open my own.

[Joe Roberti]

Sit down. Oh, Mr. Harvey, we was expecting you.

[George Harvey]

But I.

[Joe Roberti]

Come in.

[George Harvey]

Well, thanks, I will.

[Announcer]

Now back to our Two stars. Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray. And the second act of our story. Something violent and unfriendly happened to George Harvey's head when he met gangster Joe Roberti at Susan's front door. Now he's slowly, painfully coming to.

[George Harvey]

Oh, my head. Where am I?

[Susan Armstrong]

You're in the living room.

[George Harvey]

Whose lap is my head on?

[Susan Armstrong]

Mine. Susan's, Certainly.

[George Harvey]

You're sure it's my head?

[Susan Armstrong]

Of course it's your head.

[George Harvey]

I was afraid of that.

[Susan Armstrong]

How would you like some hot milk, Georgie?

[George Harvey]

I'd love some hot milk. Just chill it to be low, freezing. And put it in a rubber bag. And put the bag on my head.

[Susan Armstrong]

Okay. I'll get it. You're all right, George.

[George Harvey]

All right. She said, I'm dying.

[Susan Armstrong]

Why don't you open your eyes?

[George Harvey]

Because I don't feel like it.

[Susan Armstrong]

What's your name?

[George Harvey]

George Harvey.

[Susan Armstrong]

You can open your eyes now, can't you?

[George Harvey]

Yeah. Hello, Susan doll.

[Susan Armstrong]

Miss Armstrong.

[George Harvey]

You look beautiful. Even from here. Especially from here.

[Susan Armstrong]

Sit up.

[George Harvey]

Okay, I'm up.

[Susan Armstrong]

Now. What happened, George?

[George Harvey]

Don't you know?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, Roberti said that when he opened the door, you slipped and fell and hit your head. He carried you in here and, well, he was really very helpful.

[George Harvey]

Yes, indeed. Helpful, old Joe.

[Susan Armstrong]

I'm trying to get it straight in my head now. He came here because he knew I'd send for you.

[George Harvey]

Yeah, I suppose so.

[Susan Armstrong]

He could have killed you, couldn't he?

[George Harvey]

No doubt.

[Susan Armstrong]

Instead he just hit you on the head.

[George Harvey]

That is the impression I got.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, now, don't be funny, George. I'm trying to figure this out.

[George Harvey]

Well, let me do it for you, Joe. Roberti wants to warn both of us to mind our own business. And he does it without a word, spoken or written. He's using a kind of sign language. He gives me a bump on the head and then leaves it to us to figure it out.

[Susan Armstrong]

What do you think? We ought to call the police, George.

[George Harvey]

Did you see him slug me?

[Susan Armstrong]

The first I knew you were hurt was when he carried you in here.

[George Harvey]

Well, then, what kind of a story could I tell you, Joe? Roberti slugged me. Why? I don't know. If I fed them that yarn, the cops would laugh at me. Ha, ha. Also yak. I'm laughing too, George.

[Susan Armstrong]

This warning business. Of course. You mean the Collins place?

[George Harvey]

I don't know what else it could be.

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, then, let's go back there. Let's show them that they can't scare us. We'll even search for the body that wasn't there.

[George Harvey]

It was There. Susan doll.

[Susan Armstrong]

Miss Armstrong.

[George Harvey]

Oh, Miss Armstrong, you're beautiful. And you're a great editor and publisher. But I know when I'm late and I quit.

[Sergeant Barry]

Hello, Sergeant Berry? Speaking, Ms. Armstrong. Is George Harvey there?

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes, just a moment. Sergeant Barry.

[George Harvey]

Yes, Sergeant.

[Sergeant Barry]

Joe Roberti just called me. Said you bumped your head. Said he was afraid you might need help. Is it bad?

[George Harvey]

I hope it throbs a little when I talk to you, Sergeant.

[Sergeant Barry]

We had two more anonymous calls, George.

[George Harvey]

Fascinating, I'm sure.

[Sergeant Barry]

One of the calls said there was a fire at the Collins place.

[George Harvey]

Was there a fire?

[Sergeant Barry]

The department didn't find any. The other call said somebody was dumping a body in the river.

[George Harvey]

Were they?

[Sergeant Barry]

No, not when we got there. But of course, we'll have the entire river dragged from here to the mouth of Mississippi. It shouldn't be more than a couple of thousand miles.

[George Harvey]

Just a second, Sergeant. Why are you mad at me?

[Sergeant Barry]

You're a big town reporter in a small town, right? Yes, but I know how you feel about Susan Armstrong. Doesn't it make sense? Anything to put her paper on the map.

[George Harvey]

Oh, now, wait a minute, Sergeant. You're wrong about this.

[Sergeant Barry]

Now, George, when you start making fools of us in the department with all these calls about the Collins place, you're just making a fool of yourself.

[Joe Roberti]

You'll see.

[Susan Armstrong]

George. I heard enough of that. Sergeant Barry thinks you're responsible for the calls about the Collins place.

[George Harvey]

That he does. He's got it all figured out.

[Susan Armstrong]

But you didn't do it, George, did you? Not even for me.

[George Harvey]

I quit. This is the end. You get yourself another boy.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, George, don't get so excited. Can't you see what the scheme is?

[George Harvey]

Certainly. Certainly. Naturally, any fool can see what this. What do you think it is?

[Susan Armstrong]

All these calls to the police. The body that disappeared. Don't you see?

[George Harvey]

Oh, of course I see. It's so obvious. Go on.

[Susan Armstrong]

Even Roberti coming and conking you on the head. Now, if you think about it, you can see why, can't you?

[George Harvey]

Oh, it's perfectly plain. But just for the record, I'd like.

[Susan Armstrong]

To know, don't you think that we ought to get to the Collins place just as soon as we can? If we're right, I mean.

[George Harvey]

No, we're right. We're absolutely right. Let's go. Why here?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, you don't think we ought to stop in front of the place, do you?

[George Harvey]

No, no. Just not.

[Susan Armstrong]

It's raining again.

[George Harvey]

Indubitably, like. Don't worry. If you can hear it, you're okay, you know.

[Susan Armstrong]

Is There going to be any more?

[George Harvey]

Possibly. But I'll be here to protect you.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, don't sound so smug. And don't think I know that I'm silly about lightning.

[George Harvey]

I don't think you're silly. I just wish there'd be more of it. Lots more. Let there be lightning and thunder in Hillsdale. Thank you.

[Susan Armstrong]

George. When the lightning flashed, did you see.

[George Harvey]

What I saw on the riverbank? Yeah.

[Susan Armstrong]

I'm not wrong then. Looked like a barge out there. And they're loading something heavy into the old house. I guess if we call the police, they'd laugh at us, wouldn't they?

[George Harvey]

They certainly would. And I wouldn't be surprised if that's what this whole thing has been about. Cry wolf until the cops won't listen anymore.

[Susan Armstrong]

What should we do?

[George Harvey]

You want to know what I think?

[Susan Armstrong]

What?

[George Harvey]

We ought to go home, go to bed, pull the covers over our heads and forget that we saw anything.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, what do you think's going on in there?

[George Harvey]

I couldn't have put that question better myself. Susan, how badly do you want this story, whatever it is?

[Susan Armstrong]

What do you mean?

[George Harvey]

Enough to risk getting shot and thrown in the river.

[Susan Armstrong]

You couldn't do that. You're just being melodramatic. We don't even know what or who or why.

[George Harvey]

Not yet, but soon maybe. Look in the rear view mirror. We're getting out of here. That did it.

[Susan Armstrong]

It's Joe Roberti and those other two.

[Joe Roberti]

Get out.

[George Harvey]

Hello, Roberti. Out, both of you.

[Susan Armstrong]

Mr. Roberti, I am. Oh, don't.

[Sammy]

Yeah.

[Sergeant Barry]

Sorry, lady. Yeah, they're clean.

[Joe Roberti]

Okay, walk. I thought I'd give you a nice polite warning to stay away from here. Even offer to send for a doctor?

[Susan Armstrong]

Yes, that was sweet of you, Mr. Roberti. Wasn't it, George?

[George Harvey]

Yeah. Terribly, terribly sweet.

[Joe Roberti]

I do everything I can to make it easy and still you gotta come down here and stick your nose in it. Just makes me kind of sick.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, poor Joe.

[Joe Roberti]

Yeah, poor Joe. That's what they say, Poor Joe. Just a kind hearted slob.

[Announcer]

Stop.

[Joe Roberti]

Open the door. Go ahead. Flashlight. Okay, now, you hear? You satisfied? What do you want to see? Cops been through this joint a hundred times. Come on.

[George Harvey]

Who owns this place, Roberti?

[Joe Roberti]

Me and my brother. We bought it. And anything we want to do with it is up to us, right?

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, right. Absolutely right. What are you going to do with it? Make it a morgue. Just what happened to the corpse Mr.

[Joe Roberti]

Harvey saw that should have been in pictures, huh? I yell help, fire a shot and slap a handful of dometic hats. Up on my forehead.

[George Harvey]

Sure fooled me, Joe. I suppose it was just another stunt to make the cops so tired of this place they'll never go through it again.

[Joe Roberti]

You want to know something? If somebody was to call the cops right now and tell them to go to the old Collins place because a couple of people from the Morning Star was being rubbed out, they'd laugh. Laugh? They'd trace the call and they'd run you in.

[Susan Armstrong]

You have a wonderful sense of humor, Jill.

[George Harvey]

Yeah?

[Joe Roberti]

I killed myself. Open the door. You wanted to know. Look then.

[George Harvey]

A printing press.

[Joe Roberti]

You saw it coming off the barge. Smart, huh? Being right here on the river. We can flood the country right from here.

[Susan Armstrong]

What's he talking about, George? Counterfeit money.

[George Harvey]

Sure. Is that it, Joe, or is it greeting cards?

[Joe Roberti]

Yeah, it gives me an idea. Maybe I'll print some greeting cards, too. Valentine's. Take them out to the dock boys.

[Sergeant Barry]

Yeah.

[Susan Armstrong]

Oh, Joe, could I have a word with George?

[Sergeant Barry]

Sure.

[Joe Roberti]

Tell him anything you want out there. No shooting.

[Sergeant Barry]

Let's go.

[Susan Armstrong]

He said I could talk to him.

[Sergeant Barry]

Go ahead, Talk.

[Susan Armstrong]

George, I'm sorry.

[George Harvey]

Yeah, I'm sorry, too. Give me your hand, Susan, will you? You're cold. Can you swim?

[Susan Armstrong]

No.

[George Harvey]

That's what you think. Here, hang on to me. Hang on to my belt and keep your head up. I've got hold of a piling. They can't see us, but they can hear us. With all that gunfire, they're going to have every prowl car in the neighborhood.

[Susan Armstrong]

I think so.

[George Harvey]

Good.

[Joe Roberti]

Throw your gun in the river.

[Sergeant Barry]

We got to get out of here.

[George Harvey]

But they're okay.

[Sergeant Barry]

They won't go through this place again.

[Susan Armstrong]

If they can't, we'll be be all right to mention the fact that I'm about to drown.

[George Harvey]

Hang on, Susan. If we can get to the next piling, we can. We can get up the bank.

[Susan Armstrong]

Mr. Harvey?

[Sammy]

What do you read? What paper do you read?

[George Harvey]

Just give it to me, Sammy.

[Sammy]

Yes, sir. Right off the press. Read all about it. Counterfeit rings smashed. Heroic rescue.

[Susan Armstrong]

Sammy?

[Sammy]

Yes'm.

[Susan Armstrong]

Just leave the paper here. One copy on Mr. Harvey's desk and one on mine. You don't need to sell it to us, you know.

[Sammy]

Okay, okay. I guess I'm just a copy boy. A jerk, a squirt, a dope, a dummy. So it's wrong to get excited about the biggest story of all time.

[George Harvey]

Sammy, scram.

[Sammy]

Scram. I know what's going on. You two want to be alone?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, Sammy's getting to be quite an understanding young man.

[Sergeant Barry]

Yeah, he's learning early you're not getting any younger, George.

[George Harvey]

Meaning?

[Susan Armstrong]

You just might start learning to understand me.

[George Harvey]

Okay. Teach me.

[Susan Armstrong]

Would this help?

[George Harvey]

Well, okay, teacher. I'm learning. And you know something?

[Susan Armstrong]

What, George?

[George Harvey]

Wait till the pupil starts giving the teacher lessons.

[Announcer]

Our stars, Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray, will be back in just a moment.

[George Harvey]

Nice out here in the port, Susan. Nice moon.

[Susan Armstrong]

Nice moon.

[George Harvey]

Cool breeze. Not too cool. Just about right, I'd say.

[Susan Armstrong]

Of course, wearing a coat, you wouldn't notice.

[George Harvey]

Notice what?

[Susan Armstrong]

Well, George, the evenings do get a little chilly.

[George Harvey]

Oh. Want to go inside?

[Susan Armstrong]

Of course not.

[George Harvey]

What if you're cold? If I could get you a rest, it's still George. Okay. Susan, about that haunted house story. I think we can get a good follow up.

[Susan Armstrong]

George.

[George Harvey]

Huh?

[Susan Armstrong]

Remember what you said about the pupil giving the teacher lessons?

[George Harvey]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It was just an idea I had.

[Susan Armstrong]

It's getting chilly out here. Cold.

[George Harvey]

You want my coat? No.

[Susan Armstrong]

Adjust the sleeves.

[George Harvey]

Huh? Oh, I get it. Yeah. How's this, teacher?

[Susan Armstrong]

Wonderful, pupil. Just wonderful.

[Announcer]

Irene Dunn and Fred McMurray will be back next week in another exciting comedy adventure in the gay new series, Bright Star. This is Wendell Niles inviting you to join us.

[George Harvey]

Then.