Cape Cod Radio Mystery Theater xx-xx-xx (01) A Test for Murder

Summary

Podcast Summary: Cape Cod Radio Mystery Theater – "A Test for Murder"

Introduction

In the inaugural episode of "Cape Cod Radio Mystery Theater," titled "A Test for Murder," listeners are transported to the foggy shores of Provincetown, Cape Cod. This original mystery thriller, released on March 6, 2025, masterfully captures the essence of the Golden Age of Radio, blending suspense, character-driven dialogue, and intricate plot twists reminiscent of classic radio dramas.

Plot Overview

The story unfolds during the opening night of an art exhibit at the Alice B. Steiner Memorial Art Museum. The evening takes a dark turn when Louis Laroche, a renowned art critic from New York, is found murdered upstairs in the museum. As panic ensues, Captain Waverly Underhill, a retired police captain with unconventional investigative methods, steps in to take control of the situation, much to the chagrin of Dr. Alexander Schofield, a skeptical physician and Underhill's friend.

Key Characters

• Captain Waverly Underhill: The protagonist, a retired police captain known for his unorthodox methods.
• Dr. Alexander Schofield: A physician and friend of Underhill, offering a contrasting analytical perspective.
• Trudy Landsberger: A professional model present at the art exhibit.
• Celia Hanshofer: Chairperson for the Arts Council at the museum.
• Officer Ray Greenwood: A temporary police officer handling his first murder case.
• Alfred Turk Jr.: The primary suspect identified by Underhill.

Captain Underhill Takes Charge

Shortly after the discovery of the body, Underhill asserts his authority, deciding to conduct a preliminary investigation before official police can take over. He confidently declares to Dr. Schofield:

Captain Waverly Underhill [05:39]: "Hello, Scofield. I was looking forward to bumping into you tonight."

Underhill's immediate assumption of control sets the stage for his unique investigative approach.

The Preliminary Inquiry

Underhill devises a "pop quiz" for the museum's guests, designed to identify the murderer by cross-referencing those who have both come upstairs and used the restroom—actions he believes only the murderer would admit to. He instructs Officer Greenwood to organize the guests and distribute questionnaires, emphasizing:

Captain Waverly Underhill [20:38]: "I intend to use this opportunity to expose him."

Dr. Schofield remains unconvinced, questioning the efficacy of Underhill's methods:

Dr. Alexander Schofield [27:09]: "I don't see what good they're going to do you."

Identifying the Suspect

Through his questioning, Underhill narrows down the suspect to Alfred Turk Jr., a hobbyist artist with a contentious relationship with Laroche. Underhill points out discrepancies in Turk's questionnaire responses, identifying him as the probable murderer. He asserts:

Captain Waverly Underhill [29:06]: "Ergo, the killer is someone who admits coming up here and also admits stopping in to use the bathroom."

This psychological ploy relies on the assumption that the murderer lacks the composure to fabricate his actions under scrutiny.

The Confrontation and Resolution

As the investigation progresses, Officer Greenwood becomes increasingly uneasy with Underhill's methods, expressing:

Officer Ray Greenwood [38:08]: "I still don't understand why you're telling me."

Despite Greenwood's reservations, Underhill continues to press his narrative, emphasizing the accumulation of circumstantial evidence:

Captain Waverly Underhill [35:17]: "There will be no turning back, not even if he wants to."

Eventually, when the official homicide squad arrives from Hyannis, they discover both the corpse and Alfred Turk Jr., confirming Underhill's suspicions. The press, however, downplays Underhill's role, focusing instead on Officer Greenwood's immediate response.

Aftermath and Reflection

In the aftermath, Dr. Schofield reflects on Underhill's unconventional victory:

Dr. Alexander Schofield [31:36]: "Then you're saying this is one of those cases where the actual murderer is known. But still he goes free?"

The episode concludes with Underhill maintaining his public persona, mingling with guests and resuming his enjoyment of the art exhibit despite the night's grim events. A final interaction hints at Underhill's charm and underlying complexity:

Captain Waverly Underhill [44:02]: "SA."

Notable Quotes

• Captain Waverly Underhill [00:30]: "A foggy night on old Cape Cod. A perfect night for a mystery."
• Dr. Alexander Schofield [01:06]: "There are 70 or 80 people down there. How do you propose to find a killer out of so many suspects?"
• Dr. Alexander Schofield [10:03]: "Well, Waverly, it appears you found someone who shares your interest in art."
• Captain Waverly Underhill [27:56]: "We're trying to find the intersection of two distinct sets..."
• Officer Ray Greenwood [38:11]: "Then I think I'd like to go back downstairs. Thank you."

Conclusion

"A Test for Murder" serves as a compelling introduction to the "Cape Cod Radio Mystery Theater," showcasing a blend of classic radio storytelling with modern investigative intrigue. Captain Underhill's blend of charm, psychological insight, and unorthodox methods offer a fresh take on the detective archetype, setting the tone for future episodes that promise to keep listeners on the edge of their seats.

Transcript

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

We interrupt this program to bring you.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

An important Wayfair message.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Wayfair's got style tips for every home.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

This is Nicole Byer helping you make.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Those rooms flyer today's style tip.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

When it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

From wayfair.com.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Ooh, fierce.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

This has been your Wayfair style tip.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

To keep those interiors superior.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Wayfair. Every style, every home.

[Narrator]

It's a foggy night on old Cape Cod. A perfect night for a mystery. Tonight, Cape Cod Radio Mystery Theater presents an original mystery thriller entitled A Test for Murder. A slight problem is about to arise in Provincetown. The judge of an art show is going to be murdered. On opening night, Captain Waverley Underhill, confronted with a freshly murdered corpse and a room full of suspects, is to demonstrate his own rather unorthodox methods of conducting a murder investigation.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Expose him. But how? There are 70 or 80 people down there. How do you propose to find a killer out of so many suspects?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

I'll ask them.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

And you expect the killer to simply admit that he did it?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Yes, Doctor, that is precisely what I expect him to do.

[Narrator]

Join us now as Captain Underhill administers a special kind of test. A pop quiz designed to pinpoint a cold blooded killer out of a room full of artists, art lovers and patrons of the arts, who are all about to discover that their innocent evening of art is suddenly transformed into a test for.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

I can understand why you've come to me. You want to hear my version of what happened. I don't mind retelling it. I suppose in a way I'm in a better position than anyone else to describe what happened that night. Although there are certainly others who could give an accurate accounting. That was part of the problem, you see. The fact that there were so many of us there. I know you're mainly interested in hearing about the incident. Funny. Referring to murder as an incident as though it were an innocuous, commonplace event. There's nothing innocuous or commonplace about it, I can assure you. When it happens, it's always a gruesome thing. Gruesome and quite shocking. Especially when it happens so unexpectedly. Of course, that's generally the case, isn't it? No one really expects a murder except the killer himself, I suppose. Even so, I think you'll agree this one was more shocking and gruesome and unexpected than most of those you read about in the newspaper. My entire perspective in this matter is strongly colored by my Close association with Captain Waverly Underhill. He's my friend and also technically one of my patients. Although hardly a model patient, I can assure you, if most patients followed medical advice the way he does, that most doctors might just as well dispense with giving it. Captain Underhill is tall and thin, but certainly not underweight for a man in his middle 70s. It betrays no medical confidence to say that he sometimes suffers from heart palpitations, but more often complains of creeping senility, which he's convinced is robbing him of his mental faculties. This is ridiculous. I assure you, Underhill's powers of reasoning are as sharp as ever. It's my professional opinion that this so called senility, if it does exist, exists only in his mind. It didn't come out like I meant it to, but you know what I mean. Anyway, if you don't believe me, you have only to observe his actions in the incident I am about to relate. The way he handled the case from beginning to end was pure Underhill, and if I say so myself, nothing less than a perfect demonstration of the investigator's art. It was a pleasantly cool evening. As I recall, Provincetown was just returning to normal after another summer of sensory overload. A fog bank was building out over the ocean, but the sky overhead was clear and full of stars. I can't really explain why I was there or what it was at the last minute that made me decide to go. Attending the opening of art exhibits is not the sort of thing I do very often. I'd read the article that appeared in the Cape Cod Times. It sounded interesting, and I decided I should go, if for no other reason than to extricate myself from the rut I was in. As you know, the Alice B. Steiner Memorial Art Museum is located on the east end of Commercial street in what was formerly a church. When I arrived, the opening was already well attended. I went in and spent the first 15 minutes looking at the paintings in one of the galleries. I certainly had no idea that I would encounter Captain Underhill there. Although, thinking about it now, I shouldn't have been surprised since painting is one of his primary hobbies. Strangely enough, he didn't seem a bit surprised to.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Hello, Scofield. I was looking forward to bumping into you tonight.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Waverly. Hello. I didn't expect to see you here. But wait a minute. How could you know?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Know what?

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

That I was coming. You couldn't have known. I only decided myself at the last minute. Honestly, Waverly, you may be an old cop, but you're becoming more like the legendary Sherlock Holmes every time we meet.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

And you, Scofield, are becoming more and more like Dr. Watson. There are some interesting paintings here, I think. Why don't we have a look around?

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Wait a minute. You still haven't explained how you knew.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Hmm? Knew what?

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

That I was coming.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Oh, yes. You're still confused about that, aren't you? Well, actually, it's quite simple. First of all, I noticed the frayed cuff on the left sleeve of your sports jacket.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

My cuff?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Also, there is a slight nick under your chin where you cut yourself shaving this morning. And if you'll notice, there are distinctive scuff marks on the toes of your shoes.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Good Lord. You mean from all that you were.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Able to deduce that you were coming? Precisely. Of course, there's also the fact that since I arrived after you did, I noticed your signature on the guest register as I came in.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Oh, no. Yes, I forgot I signed in. Well, so you're not so smart after all.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

No, Doctor. And neither am I much of a practitioner of the Sherlock Holmes method of solving mysteries. Now, what do you say you take me around and show me what you've seen? But first, you need some champagne, and I need a refill.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Well, how much have you had already?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Oh, don't be such a physician. I'm well within my limit. Besides, at functions like these, champagne is absolutely essential. It sharpens the eye and heightens one's aesthetic sensibilities. Why, without it, a masterpiece might go totally unrecognized.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Excuse me. Are you Mr. Laroche?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

No. No, I'm not.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Oh, darn rats. Now I'm getting nervous.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Is Mr. Laroche someone important?

[Trudy Landsberger]

Well, yes, he is. He's judging the show. You haven't heard of him?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

I'm afraid not.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Louis Laroche is a famous art critic. He arrived today from New York. I'm on the welcoming committee. So I'm supposed to be looking after him. The only thing is, I don't even know who he is. Celia Hansover picked him up at the airport. So far, she's the only one who's met him, and I can't seem to find her either.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

I notice ribbons hanging alongside some of the paintings. It appears the judging has already been completed.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Yes, it was this afternoon. But Mr. Laroche was supposed to return tonight to make the presentations. It's going to be my fault if he doesn't show up. Oh, I'm sorry. I should have introduced myself. I'm Trudy Landsberger.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Waverly Underhill. And this is my friend, Alexander Schofield. He's a physician. His motto is, just because you're feeling fine is no reason to think you're not sick.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Waverly, please. Ms. Landberger. How do you do?

[Trudy Landsberger]

Fine, thank you. If you'll both excuse me now, I'd better keep searching for Mr. LaRoche.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

If we see him, we'll let him know you're looking for him.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Please do. That'll be great, Waverly.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

I can certainly do without introductions like that. Obviously, you're not to be trusted in social situations.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Oh, never mind that. Take a look at this painting. What do you make of it? Hmm?

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

It's a nude portrait of a woman, isn't it?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Yes. Horrible, isn't it? I thought cubism had gone out of fashion years ago. Though it does sort of remind me of a song of my youth. Let's see. There once was a woman named Hannah. She lived in the desert all her life. Her breasts were like mesas, her hips an oasis. Oh, let me be in Hannah's savannah tonight.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Oh, Waverly, try to be dignified.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Excuse. How do you like it?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

I'm sorry?

[Trudy Landsberger]

The painting. Do you like it?

[Celia Hanshofer]

Oh.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Oh, well, actually, my friend and I were just discussing it. Are you. Are you the artist?

[Trudy Landsberger]

No, no. The subject, that's me. Can't you tell?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Oh. Oh, yes. Now that you mention it, I. I do see a resemblance.

[Trudy Landsberger]

You're Louis Laroche, aren't you?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

No, but it appears I could be.

[Trudy Landsberger]

You're an artist, then?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Not really.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Oh, yes. He is.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Just a hobbyist.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Don't let him fool you. He's quite good.

[Trudy Landsberger]

In that case, let me give you my card. My name is Beverly Sampson. I'm a professional model. I do private sittings. My rates are reasonable. I do classical poses as well as avant garde.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

I see. Well, Ms. Sampson, I'll certainly hold onto your card if I should ever.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Please do. You know, I especially enjoy working with older men.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Well, Waverly, it appears you found someone who shares your interest in art. I suppose now you'll be giving up landscapes.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

How very funny, Doctor. You're just jealous because she didn't ask you.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

You know, with a woman like that, you can't be too careful. If I were you, I'd definitely remain on my avant garde.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

I must admit, Alex, sometimes I do get the urge to.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Oh, my God.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Where did that come from?

[Trudy Landsberger]

Oh, hell.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Up those stairs. Come on, Alex, quickly. You may be needed. What's wrong? Over there. I see him. Everyone. Everyone, please don't. Don't crowd up this. Go on back down. Do you Need a doctor. We have a doctor. Please, everyone, go back. Please. We need your cooperation. Alex.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Alex.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

You'd better examine him. If he's as dead as he looks, don't move him any more than you have to. Ms. Lambsberger, please try to compose yourself. It's important that you tell us what happened. I don't know.

[Trudy Landsberger]

I was looking for Mr. LaRoche. I thought I might find him up here.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

It's no use, Waverly. He's dead.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Do you think it's him?

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Shall I check his wallet?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

No. No. We'll wait for the police.

[Celia Hanshofer]

What in Hemanzeem is going on here? What in the Hemmerseim is happening?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Please, please. We are asking everyone to wait downstairs. Cecil.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Celia.

[Celia Hanshofer]

Oh, Trudy, is that you?

[Trudy Landsberger]

It's all right, Mr. Underhill. It's Mrs. Hanshaw. Let her come up.

[Celia Hanshofer]

Oh, Trudy, what's going on? Oh, my dear God.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

You recognize him? Yes, of course.

[Celia Hanshofer]

It's Mr. Laroach. Oh, is he?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Yes. He's been murdered. Mrs. Hansover, can you tell me who is in charge of the show?

[Celia Hanshofer]

I suppose I am. I'm chairperson for the Arts Council.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Excellent. Would you mind waiting just a minute? I'll. I'll need to ask you some questions. Alex, I need a favor done quickly.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

What is it?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Go down and speak to the guard at the door. Tell him what's happened. Say there's been a murder, but don't give out any more details than you have to. Instruct him that he must make certain no one leaves until the police arrive. If anyone insists on going, get word to me. I'll speak to them personally. Any guests arriving late, turn them away and say there's been an accident. After that, call the Provincetown Police and ask to speak to Walter Lafarge. Tell him there's been a homicide. He'll know what to do. Then, before you come back up, go out to your car and bring in your doctor's bag.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Waverly, don't you think it would be best for Ms. Landsberger to wait downstairs? She's obviously very distraught.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

No, not yet. Not until I ask her a few questions.

[Celia Hanshofer]

Excuse me, but may I please ask who you are?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

My name is Waverly Underhill. I'm a retired police captain and this is Dr. Schofield. A serious crime has been committed here. With your permission, I intend to take charge of the situation until the police arrive. Alex, you'd better get going. Mrs. Hansover, I'd like to ask you a few questions while Ms. Landsberger takes a moment to compose herself.

[Celia Hanshofer]

Yes, yes, of course.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Are you familiar with the building?

[Celia Hanshofer]

Yes, I think so.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

What is this room used for?

[Celia Hanshofer]

Storage. And sometimes office space.

[Officer Greenwood]

Right.

[Celia Hanshofer]

Now, as you see, most of the museum's permanent collection has been moved up here to make way for the exhibit down below.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

There are no windows?

[Celia Hanshofer]

There were windows originally, but they were bricked over to create more wall space.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

No hidden closets or cubbyholes? No place that someone might hide?

[Celia Hanshofer]

No. No, I don't believe so. Well, you can see for yourself. It's just one large room.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

That door at the back, does it lead to a fire escape?

[Celia Hanshofer]

It does.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Is it wired to an alarm system?

[Celia Hanshofer]

Yes. There is an audible alarm that sounds if the door is opened. It was necessary, of course, for insurance purposes and to protect the museum's property.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

I see. If I test it now, can you.

[Celia Hanshofer]

Shut it off downstairs? I can in the office.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

All right. Now, what about the restrooms? Where are they located?

[Celia Hanshofer]

The restrooms? Downstairs.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

All right, Mrs. Hansoffer, here is what I'd like you to do. I'm going to wait up here while you go downstairs. Then I'm going to open that door. As soon as you hear the alarm, you can shut it off. Will you do that?

[Celia Hanshofer]

Yes. Yes, of course.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

And then I want you to go and lock both bathrooms. Put out of order signs on them if you have to, but don't let anyone in. That's very important.

[Celia Hanshofer]

Yes, but. But what if someone has to?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Well, they'll just have to wait, that's all. Tell them there's nothing you can do about it. Will you go and do that?

[Celia Hanshofer]

Yes. Yes, of course. All right, if. If you say so.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Thank you. Ms. Landsberger, how do you feel?

[Trudy Landsberger]

I. I feel all right.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Would you like me to ask Dr. Schofield to give you something to calm you down?

[Trudy Landsberger]

No, I don't think so. It's just that I feel so horrible about what happened. If I'd been with him like I was supposed to be, this whole thing wouldn't have happened.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Now, now, don't blame yourself. I'm going over now and try that door. You're probably going to hear a loud bell, so don't let it startle.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Waverly. What's the matter? What's going on?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Oh, nothing, Doctor. I was just testing the alarm system.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

What for?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

To establish the fact that the only way the killer could have come up here and gone down is by the stairs you just used. Ms. Landsberger, do you feel up to answering a few questions?

[Trudy Landsberger]

Yes, I'll try.

[Officer Greenwood]

Good.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Can you tell me exactly what you saw when you came up here?

[Trudy Landsberger]

I didn't see anything.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Not at first.

[Trudy Landsberger]

There's not much light, is there? After I spoke with you and Dr. Schofield, I came up here thinking Mr. LaRoche might have come up to look over the museum's permanent collection.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

When you came up, did you see anyone?

[Trudy Landsberger]

No.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Did you encounter anyone on the stairs?

[Trudy Landsberger]

No, no one. I thought I was completely alone. I was about to go back down. Then I saw him lying there. I thought he must be sick, that maybe he'd fainted. But I saw the knife. That's when I screamed.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

All right. All right, Ms. Landsberger. Thank you. I'd like you to go back downstairs now and try to relax. Have a glass of champagne. If anyone asks about what happened, tell them you've been instructed to say nothing until the police arrive. Will you do that?

[Trudy Landsberger]

Yes, I will.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Ms. Landsberger, are you sure you're feeling well enough?

[Trudy Landsberger]

Yes, I am just a little shaky.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Well, if you need me for anything, please.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Yes.

[Trudy Landsberger]

Thank you, Doctor. I'll be all right.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Well, Alex, what did you find out?

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

I spoke with a guard. He's making certain no one leaves. I called the Provincetown police. I couldn't get hold of Walter Lafarge, but someone else is on his way over.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

All right. Open up your bag and let me have that contraption you used to peer inside a patient's ears.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Are you planning on examining his ears?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

No, no, but I'm going to use the built in light and magnifying glass to examine the handle of the knife.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

For fingerprints?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Yes, though I don't expect to find any. Stay back, if you don't mind. No point in both of us tramping around too close to the body. The nice thing about a knifing is it tells you a great deal more about the assailant than you can get from a gunshot wound. In this case, the murderer was obviously taller than his victim. The knife blade entered to the right of the spine, which suggests that the killer is right handed. He used his left hand to cover the mouth to prevent a scream while he drove the knife upwards and in with his right hand. Hmm. No fingerprints, as I expected.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Do you think the killer used gloves?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

I doubt it. It's interesting that the weapon that was used is a dagger. Perhaps the killer was aware that the blade of a penknife can easily fold up if you try to insert it through thick clothing and into the body of a human being. The handle is cast from brass. That could be useful.

[Officer Greenwood]

Who is it? Police.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Come up. We've been expecting you.

[Officer Greenwood]

Are you the one who called?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

My name is Waverly Underhill. I'm a retired police Captain. This is Dr. Schofield. He's the one who telephoned.

[Officer Greenwood]

Boy, he's really dead, isn't he?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Yes. Yes, and freshly murdered, I might add. Where is Walter Lafarge?

[Officer Greenwood]

In Boston for a meeting.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

He's.

[Officer Greenwood]

He's not coming back until tomorrow.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

That means you're in charge.

[Officer Greenwood]

Sort of. My name is Greenwood. Ray Greenwood. I'm only temporary. I was hired just for the summer.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Did you call Hyannis?

[Officer Greenwood]

I called them. They are sending a squad car.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

That gives us about 45 minutes.

[Officer Greenwood]

I just realized this is the first time in my life I've ever seen a dead body.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Officer Greenwood, if you don't mind, I've had quite a lot of experience in these matters. With your permission, I'm going to proceed with my own inquiry until the detectives from Hyannis arrive.

[Officer Greenwood]

Yeah, sure. Fine by me. Like you say, you've obviously got a lot more experience.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Good. Now, here is what I'd like you to do. Go downstairs and assemble everyone into one room and arrange them all in a circle. See if you can find enough chairs for everyone to sit down. Next, make sure everyone gets a piece of paper and a pencil. Something they can use to write down the answers to a few questions. Last of all, see that everyone wears a name tag. If they demand to know what is going on, tell them detectives are on their way. And to save time, we're going to begin by conducting a preliminary inquiry. When you've done all that, I'll come down and take over. Is that all right?

[Officer Greenwood]

Hey, I'm not sure I can okay all this.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Mr. Greenwood, you've just seen your first dead body. If we move quickly, you may yet get to meet your first murderer.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Waverly, you can't be thinking the killer is still down there.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Oh, yes, I'm fairly certain of it.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

But why would he?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Why? Because leaving would only serve to call attention to himself. Right now, that's the last thing in the world he wants to do.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

You said he. Are you convinced it's a man?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

More than likely. Most knife killings are done by men. Women prefer guns. Yes, I believe he's still here. And I intend to use this opportunity to expose him.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Expose him? But how? There are 70 or 80 people down there. How do you propose to find a killer out of so many suspects?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

I'll ask them.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

And you expect the killer to simply admit that he did it?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Yes, doctor, that is precisely what I expect him to do. Could I have Your attention, please. Quiet, please. Thank you. First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Waverly Underhill. I'm a police captain now. Retired. As I'm certain you are all aware, a man has been murdered upstairs. Officer Greenwood of the Provincetown Police has already notified Hyannis, and they are sending up a team of investigators. They should be arriving within the hour. In the meantime, since all of you will be questioned, and since I've been through this procedure many times before, I suggested to Officer Greenwood that he allow me to begin with a few preliminary questions which should help speed things up. Once the detectives arrive, if everyone is agreed, and if there are no questions, I'll begin by Louis Laroche.

[Officer Greenwood]

Who was murdered, isn't it?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

That's right, Mr. I can't quite see your name tag. A Mr. Hirsch. A Mr. Laroche arrived just today from New York. He was here to judge the show.

[Officer Greenwood]

Now, isn't that fitting? The famous art critic gets bumped off at an opening. If you ask me, whoever did it should win first prize. It's unquestionably the best example of performance art I've ever seen. How vulgar. That's one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard. Disgusting? Why so disgusting? Everyone who knows anything about the art world knows what a creep Louis Daroach was, how he delighted in destroying people's careers. Jason, why don't you shut up? The man's dead. He's not going to hurt you anymore. Oh, he may be dead, but that doesn't mean I'm obligated to honor his memory. I'd like to know who did it. I'd like to shake his head.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Let me suggest that if there are opinions about Mr. LaRoche, you all save them for when the detectives arrive. Right now, I'd like to get started.

[Officer Greenwood]

Mr. Underhill.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Excuse me.

[Officer Greenwood]

Mr. Underhill. Since you're going to be asking us questions, I would like to ask you one, if you don't mind. Is it your opinion that the murderer is one of us in this room? If so, I think we should be made aware of him, since this person is obviously dangerous and could strike again.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Hmm. Since you brought it up, Mr. Mr. Kiefer, I will say quite candidly that it is probable the murderer is one of us. However. However, as to the possibility of him striking again, that is remote. First of all, he's almost certainly unarmed, having left his knife upstairs in the back of his victim. Secondly, it's not likely he will try anything rash unless he feels he is being cornered. As you Will see by the general nature of the questions I intend to ask, that is not going to happen.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Oh, let's all stop being alarmists. This sounds like perfect fun to me.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Just like a parlor game. Personally, I hope we nail the bastard. Well, thank you, Mrs. Florence Rigby. Mrs. Florence Rigby? Yes. Thank you, Mrs. Rigby. All right. Now, to begin, I'd like you to write your name in the upper left hand corner. Now put your address underneath that. Please include your permanent address. If you are only visiting Cape Cod, which one is our permanent address? And next, list your occupation. Do I have an occupation? After that, I'd like to know if you came alone tonight or with someone else. If you came with others, please list their names. No conferring on this. Please simply answer the questions as best you can.

[Officer Greenwood]

It's been so long since I've taken a test, I feel like I'm back in school.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Don't think of it as a test. Think of it as a questionnaire. Alright. Next. I'd like to know if at any time tonight you use the restroom. No need to elaborate. Just. Just answer yes or no. I would also like to know if at any time this evening you saw anyone else go into the restaurant. And if so, please list their names using the name tags if necessary. Finally, I'd like you to state if at any time tonight you went upstairs. This is not intended to incriminate you. You may have had a perfectly innocent reason, but since the police will want to know sooner or later, let's indicate it here. Oh, yes, one last thing. Also list the names of anyone you saw going upstairs or coming down. Again, refer to the name tags if you have to. And that's all. Dr. Schofield will collect your papers. I suggest until the police arrive, you relax and try to enjoy the show. And thank you all for your cooperation.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Here are the papers. Waverly. If you don't mind my saying so, I don't see what good they're going to do you. You didn't even ask what time they arrived or where they were when the murder took place. If it had been me, those would have been the first two questions I would have asked.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

In answer to your first question, if we need to know what time people arrived, we can easily determine that according to their relative position on the guest register as to where each person was when the murder occurred. How can we ask that? All we know is the approximate time Ms. Landsberger discovered the body. The actual murder may have taken place anywhere from five minutes to as much as 35 minutes before she arrived.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Well, what good does it do to ask if they went to the bathroom?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Ah, here it is. This is what I was looking for. What we're trying to find, Alex, is the intersection of two distinct sets. Number one, the set of all people who admit coming up here tonight. And number two, the set of all those who admit using the rest room downstairs. I'm convinced the murderer did both.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Well, how can you be sure of that?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Well, it stands to reason, doesn't it? First of all, we assume the killer is someone who came here tonight with the intention of murdering Mr. LaRoche. Not many people carry around a dagger as part of their normal evening attire. Next, we have to ask ourselves, why did he do it up here? The reason, of course, is that he was watching Laroche the entire evening, waiting for an opportunity. The murder of Louis Larouche was definitely premeditated, but it was also spontaneous in the sense that the killer could not have known in advance that this sort of opportunity would present itself. He saw Laroche climb the stairs, coming up here. He followed him up, saw that they were alone, and then quickly murdered him. He did not use gloves because gloves would have taken too long to put on and take off. Instead, he wielded the knife bare handed, and then most likely used his handkerchief to wipe the handle free of prints. Now, put yourself in the mind of the killer. You've just murdered Laroche. What would you do next? Remember, we've already established it would be foolish of him to leave. What is the most logical thing?

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Go back down and mingle with the guests, I suppose?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Yes, yes, but only after you had made a quick detour to the restroom. You need a chance to compose yourself, to check in the mirror, make certain there are no blood stains. Nothing to give yourself away. Ergo, the killer is someone who admits coming up here and also admits stopping in to use the bathroom.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

But why admit to either one?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Because I also asked everyone to list the names of anyone they saw coming upstairs or using the bathroom. If the killer denies either one and someone else says they saw him do it, that sets up a discrepancy. And discrepancies are the basic underpinnings of all murder investigations and exactly what the killer wishes to avoid at all costs. Therefore, he will innocently admit to both. And then, when questioned by the police, he will simply claim there was no dead body here when he came up. Do you see?

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Yes, I think so.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

So, having said all that, I now present you with the murderer, Alfred Turk Jr. You'll notice, Mr. Turk admits using the restroom and also admits having come up here. He lists himself as an artist. Mr. Turk most likely murdered Mr. Laroche because he felt Laroche had snubbed him in some way. Artists are quite temperamental. They don't take criticism at all well. Also, the fact that his name ends in Junior may indicate a personality problem. You'd be surprised the number of sons who are forever juniors to their father's name that develop serious complexes as they get older.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

It says here that he came with his wife.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Yes, but that doesn't matter. When he saw Laroche coming up here, he could have easily excused himself, saying he was going to use the men's room and then taken a detour upstairs. In fact, if you notice on her answer sheet she does list her husband as having gone to the rest room. Yet she does not put him down for having come up here.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Then you've solved the case.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Only partially. So far, all we've done is identify the primary suspect. We still have to prove he did it and prove it in a way that will satisfy a judge and jury. No jury is going to convict a man because he admits using the restroom or even if he admits coming upstairs. Consider we have no eyewitnesses, no hard evidence such as fingerprints, no motive beyond conjecture, and the weapon that was left behind is almost certainly untraceable.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Then you're saying this is one of those cases where the actual murderer is known. But still he goes free?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Not necessarily. Not if we can salvage a little more time before the detectives arrive.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

Captain Underhill's strategy was simple and direct. He planned to talk Alfred Turk into confessing. He pointed out to me that in situations where tangible evidence was slim or non existent, a confession was often the only possible means of solving a case. He seemed fairly optimistic about his chances psychologically. He said a man who was bold enough to risk murdering someone in such a public place would also have an overly inflated opinion of his own invincibility. An opinion that, once put under attack, might quickly break down into a desperate need to tell all. I suggested why not wait and let the police handle it? He told me that was exactly what he hoped to avoid. Confessions obtained by the police are scrutinized by the courts to make certain that they were done without coercion, intimidation or trickery. On the other hand, Underhill, acting as a private citizen, could say or suggest anything he wanted. He'd not be subject to the same restraints. I was once again amazed at how difficult the detective's job had become. Not only must he think like a criminal to solve the case, but he must also think like a lawyer, judge and jury. To be sure that his efforts will not be wasted and the case thrown out of court, Captain Underhill gave me a quick list of instructions. First, to lend him the miniature tape recorder I carry in my doctor's bag, which I use to record notes on patients when I make house calls. Next, to go downstairs and invite Alfred Turk, or Mac the Knife, as Underhill was now taken to calling him, to join him upstairs. After that, I was to go outside with Officer Greenwood and wait for the detectives from Hyannis to arrive. We were to intercept them and instruct them them to wait for a signal that Underhill would pass along by tapping three times on the floor. It was his feeling that timing and the manner in which the detectives arrived were essential to the success of his plan. When I suggested the investigators might be unwilling to postpone their arrival while he conducted an experiment, he told me to use his name and do the best I could. It was not until later, of course, when I listened to the recording Underhill made, that I. I learned what actually took place. When Mr. Turk came upstairs.

[Officer Greenwood]

Your doctor friend downstairs said you wanted to see me.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

That's right. Have a seat.

[Officer Greenwood]

My wife will be worried.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Oh, I'm sure your wife will understand.

[Officer Greenwood]

Look, just because I admit I came up here, that doesn't mean I had anything to do with what happened.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

I never said you did. Sit down.

[Officer Greenwood]

I'm not going to sit up here in the same room with a dead body.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

It bothers you.

[Officer Greenwood]

Of course it bothers me. It would bother anybody who had any feelings. At least you could have the decency to cover him up.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Oh, no. Never do that. That's the worst thing you could do. Sit down.

[Officer Greenwood]

All right, but just for a minute.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Good. Now, to explain why you should never cover a murder victim, Mr. Turk, it's because you don't want to contaminate the evidence. You see, when the killer chose to murder Mr. Laroche by stabbing him in the back, it meant he had to bring his own body into close contact with his victims.

[Officer Greenwood]

So?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Well, undoubtedly, he left behind all sorts of incriminating evidence. Strands of hair, loose threads from his clothing, even skin cells. Did you know the average body sheds approximately 40,000 skin cells every minute?

[Officer Greenwood]

No, I. I didn't know that.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

And you'll notice that Mr. Laroche is wearing a tweed jacket. Tweed is like Velcro. It picks up every little thing it touches. So, you see, covering the body with a sheet like they do in the movies would only contaminate the evidence that's already present.

[Officer Greenwood]

So is that going to prove who did it?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Not necessarily. Not by itself, but evidence in a murder case is always cumulative. You keep adding a little more and a little more, and pretty soon the scales of justice begin to tip from a presumption of innocence to an assumption of guilt. For example, you'd be surprised how much we already know about how the murder was committed. We know the killer came here tonight with the intention of murdering Mr. LaRoche. He watched, saw him climb the stairs, followed him up, and then took advantage of the fact they were alone to sneak behind him and slip a knife through between his ribs. We know the killer is right handed. We know approximately how tall he is, and we know he didn't use gloves. Instead, he used his handkerchief to wipe the handle free of prints. Unfortunately, that was a mistake, since the handle of the knife is cast out of brass. If the killer's palms were sweating, as undoubtedly they were, the then the sweat from his hands will have corroded some of the metal, traces of which will show up on his handkerchief under laboratory analysis and. Oh, I hope I'm not boring you.

[Officer Greenwood]

No, go on.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Of course, it's all circumstantial, but as the saying goes, if you see footprints in the snow and letters in the mailbox, you can assume the mailman has been there. Now, juries know this. They're much more sophisticated these days, much more willing to consider related evidence. Lawyers know it, too. In fact, many of the ones I know say they actually prefer circumstantial evidence. Eyewitnesses can be mistaken. Often they get rattled when they have to stand up in a courtroom and testify about what they saw. But you take an expert in forensic science, someone who is accustomed to getting up in front of a jury, and they.

[Officer Greenwood]

Would you mind telling me what all this has to do with me?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

I'm not saying it has anything to do with you.

[Officer Greenwood]

Then I think I'd like to go back downstairs. Thank you.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

All right. All right. That's your privilege. There's just one point I'd like to make.

[Officer Greenwood]

And what is that?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

The investigation of this murder is not going to begin officially until a team of detectives arrives from Hyannis, which should be any minute. And right now, I think whoever did this had better be asking himself a few hard questions.

[Officer Greenwood]

What kind of questions?

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Like what will happen if he keeps quiet? Will there be enough evidence to bring an indictment? If I can learn this much in half an hour, imagine what a team of highly trained investigators will be able to uncover in a week. For example, where did the knife come from? Now, a knife may not be as traceable as a gun, but one as distinctive as this. I would think there may be a store on the Cape, but perhaps one right here in Provincetown with a sales clerk who will remember selling a knife like this to a particular customer. There's also the question of motive. Will the police be able to prove that the murderer knew his victim? Things like that.

[Officer Greenwood]

I still don't understand why you're telling me.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

Of course, if the murderer decides to take a chance and keep quiet, it's going to make it very difficult for his attorney. The charge will be first degree murder, premeditated. The judge will take his place on the bench, wrap the gavel three times, and then the attorney for the defense will have to stand up and try to prove that his client is completely innocent. On the other hand, if the murderer is waiting up here ready to confess to the police as soon as they arrive, it will open up a whole range of avenues for his attorney. It may even get the charge reduced to second or third degree homicide. Unfortunately, the killer is going to have to make up his mind in a hurry before the police get here. You can hear them coming now, can't you? They're on their way. Once he makes his decision, he's going to have to stick to it. There will be no turning back, not even if he wants to.

[Dr. Alexander Schofield]

The rest of what happened, you know from reading the newspapers. The homicide squad arrived in their cruisers from Hyannison, found upstairs not only the body of the murdered man, but also the confessed killer himself, Mr. Alfred Turk Jr. A large contingency of reporters showed up soon afterward, representing newspapers, radio and television news. Footage that appeared the next day showed the police carrying the body out on a stretcher and then escorting the accused in handcuffs out of the building and into a waiting squad car. Typically enough, in the reports that followed, little or nothing was said of Captain Waverly Underhill's role in solving the case. Although Officer Greenwood was cited for taking unspecified crime quick action that ensured the suspect did not escape. When the police and reporters finally cleared out, the opening actually resumed and continued until very late, with everyone in surprisingly good spirits. Nothing like a murder to enliven the mood. Captain Underhill strolled about, looking at the paintings and talking to others. I noticed him from time to time, ignoring my advice and still drinking champagne. Around 1:30, I decided it was time for me to leave. I looked around for Captain Underhill and found him sitting alone, I offered to drive him home. He declined, saying that was something that he had already taken care of. Before I could ask the question, I was given the answer as I turned around to observe Ms. Beverly Sampson approaching with a smile in her lips and carrying two glasses of champagne. My solitary ride home that night was filled with envious imaginings.

[Narrator]

You have been listening to Cape Cod Radio Mystery Theater's presentation of A Test for Murder. Tonight's program was produced, written and directed by Stephen Hoane, co produced by David Ellsworth, engineered by John Todd, with original music composed by Mark Birmingham. Assisting in the production were Scott dicke and Carol McManus. The actors in tonight's play, Dave Ellsworth, Captain Underhill, Wally O'Hara, Dr. Schofield. Neil McGarry played Alfred Turk Jr. Eva Broderson was Trudy Landsberger. Mary B. Jones, Celia Hanshofer, Laney Davis, Beverly Sampson, Kevin Grappe, Officer Greenwood, Fred Morey, Mr. Kiefer, Bill Dane, Jason Hirsch and Carol McManus played Florence Rigby. A Test for Murder was recorded at HT Recording studio and is copyrighted by Stephen Oney for Cape Cod Radio Mystery Theater. All rights, including rights for broadcast and reproduction, are reserved. This program is made possible with the cooperation of the Public Media Foundation. This is Bob Nolan wishing you a pleasant evening and inviting you to tune in again when the fog rolls in on another chapter of Cape Cod Radio Mystery Theatre.

[Captain Waverly Underhill]

SA.