Captain Danger 19xx.xx.xx The Alternative

Summary

Podcast Summary: Captain Danger 19xx.xx.xx The Alternative

Introduction to the Adventure

In the March 6, 2025 release of Harold's Old Time Radio, the episode titled "Captain Danger 19xx.xx.xx The Alternative" immerses listeners in a thrilling narrative set against the backdrop of the mysterious South Seas. The story unfolds with the introduction of the Dangerfield siblings, Danny and Diana, who are unexpectedly thrust into an adventure that promises danger, mystery, and the allure of uncharted territories.

The Mystery Unveiled

The episode begins with the siblings, Danny and Diana Dangerfield, awaiting crucial news in an attorney's office. Their unease is palpable as they speculate about the contents of an old letter from their late grandfather. Diana expresses her frustration, stating, "Oh, well, we'll make the best of it. Know something, Danny? That isn't the worst of it. This stuff of sitting around isn't all it's cracked up to be. It gets me down." (04:45). Danny mirrors her sentiments, questioning the implications of the letter and its connection to their futures.

The Proposition of Adventure

Their anticipation peaks when Mr. Satterfield, the family attorney, arrives to deliver the grandfather's last wishes. He presents the siblings with two stark choices: Diana is to attend a girls' school for young ladies, while Danny is to enroll in a military academy. However, Mr. Satterfield introduces an intriguing alternative that deviates from the conventional paths laid out for them. He reveals that their grandfather co-built an empire in the South Seas and wishes for Danny and Diana to continue his legacy as South Sea Island Traders.

Mr. Satterfield elaborates, "Now then, it's your grandfather's sincere wish that you too will step into his shoes someday and carry on that South Sea island business." (07:35). This proposition promises excitement and adventure, diverging sharply from the structured and mundane educational paths initially presented.

Diverging Aspirations

Despite the allure of adventure, the Dangerfield siblings harbor personal dreams that conflict with their grandfather's wishes. Diana aspires to become a magician, while Danny dreams of being an inventor. Their reluctance is evident as Diana questions, "Mr. Satterfield, please tell us, do we really have to go to the South Seas and be South Sea Island Traders?" (10:03). The siblings express their fears of being separated and the potential loss of their individual identities.

Introducing Doolittle Jones

Adding to the tension is Doolittle Jones, the family butler, whose presence introduces comic relief. Doolittle’s quirky personality and humorous antics provide a lighter tone amidst the unfolding drama. His exaggerated fears and whimsical dialogues, such as his imagined encounters with lions and tigers, underscore the siblings' anxiety about the impending journey. At one point, he exclaims, "Oh, my. Oh, oh, oh. Here come the cannibals in person. Excuse me, folks." (12:48), only to dramatically exit the scene, leaving Danny and Diana to grapple with their decision.

The Choice and Its Implications

As the episode progresses, the siblings are left to contemplate their future. The alternative presented by Mr. Satterfield offers a path filled with adventure and the unknown, contrasting sharply with the traditional education routes. This pivotal moment forces Danny and Diana to weigh their desires against familial obligations and legacy. Diana articulates their predicament, saying, "It's a swell's choice, isn't it, Dan? The one's no good and the other's worse." (10:21), highlighting the difficult decision they face.

Conclusion and Tease for Future Adventures

The episode concludes on a cliffhanger, emphasizing the uncertainty of the siblings' fate. Doolittle Jones’ playful dismissal hints at future complications, and the narrator tantalizes listeners with the promise of more excitement to come. "Well, that's what he thinks. But something seems to tell me he does go. And if you don't go with him, you'll be downright sorry." (13:20), setting the stage for subsequent episodes filled with peril and discovery.

Notable Quotes

• Diana Dangerfield (04:45): "Oh, well, we'll make the best of it. Know something, Danny? That isn't the worst of it. This stuff of sitting around isn't all it's cracked up to be. It gets me down."

• Danny Dangerfield (07:04): "Yes, sir."

• Mr. Satterfield (07:21): "Yes, alternative. In other words, you may make a choice."

• Diana Dangerfield (10:03): "Mr. Satterfield, please tell us, do we really have to go to the South Seas and be South Sea Island Traders?"

• Doolittle Jones (12:48): "That's a flock of big crocodiles is sneaking up on me. Yeah. Oh, and looky yonder. A mess of elimophants are coming and running in the galloping."

Final Thoughts

"Captain Danger 19xx.xx.xx The Alternative" masterfully blends adventure, family drama, and humor to captivate listeners. By introducing relatable characters faced with extraordinary circumstances, the episode draws audiences into a world where choices determine destiny. The engaging dialogue and well-timed comedic elements ensure that both longtime fans of old-time radio and new listeners remain enthralled, eagerly anticipating the continuation of Danny and Diana Dangerfield's perilous journey.

Transcript

[Mr. Satterfield]

Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly.

[O'Reilly Auto Parts]

You need parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts has parts. Need them fast. We've got fast. No matter what you need. We have thousands of professional parts people doing their part to make sure you have it. Product availability. Just one part that makes O'Reilly stand apart. The professional parts people.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Oh, oh, oh. O'Reilly Auto Parts.

[Doolittle Jones]

Captain Danger.

[Narrator]

In this world of ours, there are still a few places where danger makes its home. Far beyond our own horizons dwell mystery and adventure. And the further afield we go, the more mysterious and magical those places become. Away to the south, amid the vastness of the mighty Pacific and Atlantic oceans, we find those unusual places. The Timor Sea, Banda Sea, Coral Sea, Yellow Sea. Their waves washing ashore on the Fiji Islands. Sumatra. The Galapagos. The Solomons, sinister home of the cruel Solomon island savages. And Borneo. Borneo, that great dark, forbidding land of Juju's and throbbing jungle drums. Even the little towns and seaborts have names that are mysteriously strange to us. Surabaya, Zamboanga, Singapore, Saigon, Pidang, Indrapur, Pango. Pango and Zanzibar. Names that somehow whisper to us of deep black rivers, strange peoples, unbelievable customs, talking drums, danger trails, jungles, magic and mystery.

[Doolittle Jones]

Wouldn't it be a great adventure if we could go to those places? Well, we're going. And under the leadership of one who has lived long years in the far away. With him we will sail strange seas. With him we will travel those danger trails. With him we will meet high adventure and laugh in its face. His name is Captain Danger. But first we must get acquainted with two others who are going with us on this expedition. A young lad named Danny Dangerfield and his sister Diana. You like them. You'll find them to be cheerful companions and trustworthy friends. Strangely enough, though, as yet neither Danny nor his sister know about this journey. It's going to be news to them too. So let's drop in and get acquainted. We find them sitting on a big davenport in an attorney's office. And they don't look any too happy. In another room, behind closed doors, something is happening which Dan and Diana knew had to happen and have dreaded for a long time. An old letter is being opened and read. The contents of that old letter may in the next few minutes change the course of their entire lives. What that change will be. Well, at the moment we find Dan and Diana wondering about that too. We just step inside and there they are.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Oh, well, we'll make the best of it. Know something, Danny? That isn't the worst of it. This stuff of sitting around isn't all it's cracked up to be. It gets me down.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Yeah, it sure takes some folks a long time to read a letter.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Must be a long one, all right. Going into all the detail about something or something.

[Danny Dangerfield]

But about what?

[Diana Dangerfield]

I'll give you three more guesses.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Ah, we've already taken about 30 guesses. And I'll bet they're all wrong.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Oh, not them all, Dan. That one about going away to school. That's the baby. Don't forget, Mr. Satterfield had an awfully sweet smile on his face. When he asked us how we like grammar school. Remember?

[Danny Dangerfield]

Yeah. How come he was so interested? If we liked the other kids in the classes, why shouldn't we like them for no reason?

[Diana Dangerfield]

But anyway, there was something kind of fishy when he mentioned about making new friends.

[Danny Dangerfield]

And about that military school stuff. That sounded not so good to me.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Setting you a very lovely school for young ladies.

[Danny Dangerfield]

But that school is hundreds of miles from here.

[Diana Dangerfield]

It isn't any further away than the nearest military school.

[Danny Dangerfield]

I know it.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Look, Dan, do you really think that's what's going to happen?

[Danny Dangerfield]

Listen, we were called into this attorney's office for some reason, weren't we?

[Diana Dangerfield]

About a letter that Grandfather left.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Well, if the attorney starts smiling sweetly. And sort of mentioning military schools and schools for young ladies, what do you think?

[Diana Dangerfield]

And you and I will be separated hundreds of miles apart, maybe.

[Doolittle Jones]

Hmm.

[Diana Dangerfield]

That's gonna be just dandy. I don't think. Aw, Dan. You and me, we gotta stick side by each in this mess.

[Danny Dangerfield]

You said it. But wouldn't it look kind of silly for me to go to a school for young ladies. Just because you went there?

[Diana Dangerfield]

I'm not any sillier than me going with you to a military academy.

[Narrator]

Uh.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Oh, jiggers. Here comes the bad news.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Well, Diana, Dan. I returned bringing some news for you. Seems as if you have a very important decision to make today. So let's have a nice long heart to heart talk, eh?

[Diana Dangerfield]

We were afraid of that, Mr. Satterfield. Oh, but don't mind us. Just go right ahead with the news.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Very well, then. To begin at the beginning. Your grandfather left with me certain instructions having to do with your welfare. He also left a letter which was to be opened on this date. The trustees of the estate in the other room there have just read the contents of that letter.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Yes, sir.

[Mr. Satterfield]

It contains your grandfather's last wishes and desires.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Wait, Mr. Satterfield. All this has something to do about Diana going away to a school for young ladies. I gotta tie along to some military academy is valet?

[Mr. Satterfield]

In a manner of speaking, yes. But wait. There is, of course, an alternative.

[Diana Dangerfield]

An alternative?

[Mr. Satterfield]

Yes, alternative. In other words, you may make a choice. As you know, Grandfather Dangerfield, during his long life in company with his brother, built up, well, let us say, quite an empire in the South Seas.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Yes, sir. Grandfather used to tell us lots of stories about the jungles and islands and things.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Exactly. Now then, it's your grandfather's sincere wish that you too will step into his shoes someday and carry on that South Sea island business.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Danny and I carry on the South Sea island business. But we don't know anything about the South Seas.

[Mr. Satterfield]

You may learn your grandfather wished us so. You see, there are several pearl fishing beds, island plantations, copper sheds, a number of island trading schooners. And half of these things belong to you two.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Gee whiz.

[Mr. Satterfield]

The other half belongs to your grandfather's brother.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Oh, Captain Hiram Dangerfield. Yes. Grandfather told us lots about him, too.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Yes, sir. And there's a photograph of the captain at home right now. Looks like a. Well, a sort of hard boiled gentleman to me.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Looks so. Perhaps. Then again, he may not be so hard to get along with. Oh, don't let his South Sea title scare you.

[Diana Dangerfield]

You mean because. Because they call him Captain Danger.

[Mr. Satterfield]

That's just a title. Anyway, I've been in touch with him by his by correspondence. And he agrees to take you aboard his ship. I will say, however, that he's somewhat reluctant.

[Danny Dangerfield]

You mean we have to sail with him on his ship?

[Narrator]

Mm.

[Mr. Satterfield]

That's exactly what your grandfather wished. But wait. You understand, that big boat of his is rather unusual. A four masted vessel. You know, a sailing ship. But it has, in addition, very powerful engines. You see, Captain Danger's ship is his home.

[Diana Dangerfield]

And we have to be sailors?

[Mr. Satterfield]

Well, no, not exactly. In other words, Captain Danger's ship will be your schoolroom.

[Danny Dangerfield]

And the captain, the teacher, huh?

[Mr. Satterfield]

That's right. The teacher. With his instructions, you will both someday become expert traders. You would like that, Miss Diane?

[Diana Dangerfield]

No, sir. Mr. Satterfield. No, sir. Trading coconuts couldn't ever give me any thrill.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Oh, come now. It might. Anyway, we all have to have ambitions.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Yes, sir. But you see, Diana's ambitions don't run towards coconuts. Neither do mine. We had made other plans.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Plans? You'd made other plans?

[Diana Dangerfield]

Yes, Mr. Satterfield. You see, I want to be a lady magician.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Oh, musician. You mean musician, don't you?

[Diana Dangerfield]

No, sir. Magician. Do magic stuff. It's Danny here who wants to be the musician in the Family?

[Danny Dangerfield]

I don't either. I want to be an inventor.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Well, well. A lady magician and a gentleman inventor.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Mr. Satterfield, please tell us, do we really have to go to the South Seas and be South Sea Island Traders?

[Doolittle Jones]

Oh, no, not at all.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Not at all. As I said. You have the alternative?

[Diana Dangerfield]

Yes, sir.

[Mr. Satterfield]

It's either that or it's the girls school for you, young lady. And Dan will have to enroll in the military academy upstate.

[Diana Dangerfield]

It's a swell's choice, isn't it, Dan? The one's no good and the other's worse.

[Mr. Satterfield]

And of course, if you do decide to join Captain Danger, your grandfather desired that his butler accompany you.

[Danny Dangerfield]

You mean Doolittle Jones goes with us?

[Mr. Satterfield]

Yes. Where is he? He came here with you, didn't he? Yes.

[Diana Dangerfield]

He's out in the waiting room waiting.

[Mr. Satterfield]

I guess I'll have him sent in here. Meanwhile, I'll leave you three to talk things over.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Yes, Mr. Satterfield.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Send Mr. Jones in here, will you, please?

[Diana Dangerfield]

Yes, sir. Right away.

[Mr. Satterfield]

And now I think I'll leave you to make your decision. Will ten minutes be enough?

[Diana Dangerfield]

More than enough, I guess, Mr. Satterfield.

[Mr. Satterfield]

Very good, then.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Well, Danny, looks like we got ourselves an alternative or something, huh?

[Danny Dangerfield]

What we got is ourselves in a swell mess, if you ask me. Whether you ask me or not, it's still a swell mess.

[Doolittle Jones]

Yes. Yes, ma'am. You always mean to bring my presents in here.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Oh, come on in. Doolittle.

[Doolittle Jones]

Doolittle out there. She done say to me, she say, Mr. Jones, you is wished into the inside office. And here I is. And, well, for land's sake, you two tend to look blue as blue.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Please sit down, Doolittle. Right here. We got a lot of things to talk about.

[Doolittle Jones]

Yasmin. Mr. Hannah. Yas, ma'am. I sure love to talk about things. I sure love to talk.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Doolittle, have you by any chance ever had any experience with cannibals?

[Doolittle Jones]

Cannibals? No, sir. I ain't never gonna have no experience with em, neither.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Ever trade any coconuts?

[Doolittle Jones]

No, ma'am, no. I eat me bloody, though. I don't eat.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Never sail on the ocean, Doolittle?

[Doolittle Jones]

Oh, sir, Master Dan, I don't ever aim to do no sailing on any.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Old skipper here of the jungles. Doolittle.

[Doolittle Jones]

Yes, ma'am. That reads me plenty about them jungles. I Reads me how and swell, swell.

[Diana Dangerfield]

That helps a lot, for you're practically on your way to the South Sea jungles right now.

[Doolittle Jones]

Who, me?

[Danny Dangerfield]

Practically, yes.

[Doolittle Jones]

Oh, you ain't talking to me about no jungles. If in years then I don't hear a word she says. Me go to the jungles. Lordy, lordy. I don't need to go to them there jungles to know what all happened to me. No, sir, no ma'am. I can hear them lions a roaring right now. Now here's a million tigers a growling right in my ear.

[Diana Dangerfield]

So can I do almost.

[Doolittle Jones]

Listen. You hear that?

[O'Reilly Auto Parts]

You hear that?

[Doolittle Jones]

That's a flock of big crocodiles is sneaking up on me. Yeah. Oh, and looky yonder. A mess of elimophants are coming and running in the galloping. And they're all looking for Dood little Jones. Oh, my. Oh, oh, oh. Here come the cannibals in person. Excuse me, folks. I gotta go now. I guess I done come into wrong do this. And no Mr. Island, no master positively no jungle for anybody who belonging to Joely. No jungle for me.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Gosh, he's gone. Hey, Gula, wait a second.

[Doolittle Jones]

Hold it.

[Diana Dangerfield]

Hey, I got it.

[Danny Dangerfield]

Come back here.

[Doolittle Jones]

It looks like this expedition got away to a wrong start. Do Little Jones doesn't have to go to the jungle to hear lions and tigers. He just isn't at all interested. Well, that's what he thinks. But something seems to tell me he does go. And if you don't go with him, you'll be downright sorry. What's more, you'll be more than sorry if you miss the next thrilling chapter of Captain Danger.