CBS Sealtest Variety Theater 1948-12-23 - Christmas Show

Summary

Podcast Summary: CBS Sealtest Variety Theater 1948-12-23 — Christmas Show

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Date of discussion: December 25, 2025
Episode Theme: A festive trip back to the golden age of radio, spotlighting the Sealtest Variety Theater’s 1948 Christmas episode with Dorothy Lamour, Victor Moore, and Pat O'Brien. The show delivers holiday entertainment through skits, music, and nostalgic reflections, capturing mid-century American Christmas spirit.

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Episode Overview

This episode revisits the December 23, 1948 broadcast of the Sealtest Variety Theater Christmas Show. Featuring Hollywood stars Dorothy Lamour, Victor Moore, and Pat O’Brien, the program blends light-hearted comedy, sentimental drama, and classic Christmas songs. Listeners are swept into an old-fashioned radio Christmas party that celebrates the warmth, humor, and togetherness of the postwar holiday season.

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Key Segments & Highlights

1. Festive Introductions & Friendly Banter (00:30–02:59)

• Dorothy Lamour graciously opens the show and welcomes her guests, Pat O’Brien and Victor Moore, calling them “those two Yuletide boys, those jolly gentlemen.”
• A comedic exchange ensues about crowded holiday shopping and Lamour’s previous job as an elevator operator:
  • Pat O’Brien: “You ran the elevator there, didn’t you?”
  • Dorothy Lamour (joking): “I was the engineer in charge of vertical transportation.”
    • (02:08)
• The conversation pokes fun at Hollywood’s fleeting success:
  • Dorothy Lamour: “A lot of folks in Hollywood have found out that it’s much quicker going down than it is going up.”
    • (02:45)

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2. The Spirit of Christmas & Musical Cheer (03:10–05:51)

• Dorothy Lamour reflects on the meaning of Christmas: “The twinkle of a star, the tinkle of a bell. A heartwarming welcome.” (03:16)
• Plug for Sealtest’s Christmas eggnog blends seamlessly with holiday cheer.
• The show launches into a spirited rendition of “Jingle Bells” by the Crew Chief Quartet and Henry Russell’s Orchestra.

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3. Heartfelt Holiday Sketch — “Santa Claus in New York” (05:51–13:51)

Plot Summary

• The sketch centers on two department store workers, Peggy Taylor and Dorothy (played by Lamour), exhausted after the Christmas rush.
• A mysterious visitor appears – Victor Moore as Santa Claus needing to use their phone “to call the North Pole.”
• Moore’s “Santa” fields playful skepticism from Dorothy, who says she doesn’t believe in Santa:
  • Dorothy Lamour: “I’m a big girl now, and I don’t believe in Santa Claus…” (10:34)
• Victor Moore delivers a touching line:
  • “I believe in little boys and girls. I believe in all their little dreams. When they get older, I keep believing in their dreams. And that’s why some of them come true.” (10:00–10:12)
• The sketch twists into magical realism as Dorothy receives a call announcing she’s won all the things she wished for, echoing her earlier “Christmas wish list.”
• The finale brings the message home:
  • Dorothy Lamour (looking out the window): “He was right there. He is right there… There really is a Santa Claus.” (13:43–13:51)

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4. More Holiday Music: “Winter Wonderland” (15:12–16:41)

• Introduced by Lamour and performed by the Crew Chief Quartet and Henry Russell’s Orchestra. The number conveys snowy nostalgia and Christmas warmth.
• Includes a humorous California verse about missing white Christmases.

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5. Touching Tribute and “White Christmas” (18:22–19:59)

• Pat O’Brien introduces “White Christmas” with a moment of hope for peace:
  • “Let’s all pray that never again will any of them [American boys] have to sing or do their dreaming on some foreign shore. Let’s hope that we’ll be celebrating this and many more white Christmases at home.” (18:32–19:04)
• The ensemble performs a heartfelt version of “White Christmas.”

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6. Comedy Sketch: “The Soup Bowl Football Game” (21:11–26:29)

• Scene: Aurora U. football team’s locker room after their win.
• Pat O’Brien plays the exasperated Coach Stonewall, reacting to the team’s pre-game dinner fiasco (sauerkraut and pig’s knuckles) and oddball luck charms (black lace handkerchiefs), with plenty of banter from Schmidt and others.
• Dorothy Lamour appears as Nanette, the player’s mysterious hostess and eventual “coach’s wife.”
• The sketch results in a punchline twist: the team’s new “secret weapon” is sabotaging the competition with more sauerkraut and pig’s knuckles.

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7. Season’s Reflections and Farewell (28:08–29:40)

• Dorothy Lamour thanks the guests, highlights their contribution to the American Federation of Radio Artists Welfare Insurance Fund, and announces next week’s visitors (Lionel Barrymore, Gary Moore).
• Carlton Caddell delivers a message of gratitude and optimism for postwar America:
  • “130 million people are grateful for what we have this Christmas just because we live in America. But the best is yet to come…” (28:43)
• Dorothy Lamour closes with warm wishes:
  • “May this be the best and the happiest of all Christmases.” (29:11)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dorothy Lamour: “Being an elevator operator is a very good way of making sure success doesn’t go to your head.” (02:37)
• Victor Moore [as Santa]: “I believe in little boys and little girls… When they get older, I keep believing in their dreams. And that’s why some of them come true.” (10:00–10:12)
• Dorothy Lamour: “There really is a Santa Claus.” (13:51)
• Pat O’Brien (earnestly): “Let’s all pray that never again will any of them have to sing or do their dreaming on some foreign shore.” (18:32)
• Carlton Caddell: “As abundant as our country is, we can have more of everything if we continue to realize that each American’s personal standard of living will rise in proportion to how much all Americans produce…” (28:43)

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Musical Performances

• "Jingle Bells" – Crew Chief Quartet & Henry Russell (04:21)
• "Winter Wonderland" – Henry Russell’s Orchestra & Quartet (15:15)
• "White Christmas" – Crew Chief Quartet & Henry Russell (19:04)

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Tone & Style

• Warm, playful, and infused with gentle humor.
• Old-timey American optimism and unity.
• Heartfelt performances and nostalgia for simpler holiday times.

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For Listeners

This festive radio classic is a heartwarming blend of vintage comedy, musical favorites, and Christmas storytelling. It transports audiences to a time when families gathered around the radio for shared entertainment, reminding us of the timeless joys of belief, laughter, and holiday goodwill.

Transcript

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[Carlton Caddell]

Sealtest Milk and Ice cream presents Sealtest Variety Theater. Yes, it's Sealtest Variety Theater with Henry Russell and his orchestra, the Crew Chief quartet and those two wonderful people from stage, screen and radio, Victor Moore and Pat o'. Brien. And here she is, our gal. Thursday the the singing star of Variety Theatre, Dorothy Lamour.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Thank you and hello everyone. I couldn't think of two friends who could give more of a Christmas glow to the proceedings than those two Yuletide boys, those jolly gentlemen, Pat o' Brien and Victor Moore.

[Pat O'Brien]

Hiya, Donnie. Merry Christmas to you.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, thanks, Pat.

[Victor Moore]

Yes, Donnie for me, too. Merry Christmas.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, what's the matter, Victor? You sound a little weak. The holiday beginning to get you?

[Victor Moore]

Well, Pat and I were just downtown shopping. It's a funny thing. We met while we were looking for presents for each other. I was going to get him a tie.

[Pat O'Brien]

Going to get him a tie too.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, what did you do?

[Victor Moore]

Well, the stores were so crowded we stopped and tied one on. I mean, you've never seen so many people.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Gee, I'll never forget the Christmas I worked at Marshall Fields.

[Pat O'Brien]

Oh, you. You ran the elevator there, didn't you?

[Dorothy Lamour]

Di, please. I didn't run the elevator. I was the engineer in charge of vertical transportation.

[Pat O'Brien]

I get it. You know, Daddy, here you are, a glamorous radio movie star who's just won the Hollywood Women's Press Club Golden Apple Award for being the most cooperative actress of the year. And just a few short years ago, you were working as an elevator operator. Wonder if you ever think about the old days much.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Pat, I have a confession to make. Being an elevator operator is a very good way of making sure success doesn't go to your head.

[Pat O'Brien]

What do you mean, Dottie?

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, a lot of folks in Hollywood have found out that it's much quicker going down than it is going up.

[Carlton Caddell]

Thank you, Dottie. Victor Moore and Pat o'. Brien. And please gather around the seal test Christmas tree for just a moment while we tell you about a special treat.

[Henry Russell]

Get the basket. Seal test.

[Carlton Caddell]

Tell me, Dottie, what do you think Is the spirit of Christmas.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Oh, it's a lot of things, Carlton. The twinkle of a star, the tinkle of a bell. A heartwarming welcome.

[Carlton Caddell]

And that adds up to a bowl of smooth golden seal test eggnog. Because this famous eggnog is a shining star in its own right. It's as merry making as tinkling bells. And the heartwarmingest welcome I know made in the famous seal test tradition. It has the rich, mellow flavor of real old fashioned eggnog. When friends stop in, give them a welcome brimming with the spirit of Christmas. Delicious seal test eggnog. And now Santa Claus has come down the chimney just two days early and has handed out a very special musical arrangement to Henry Russell and the orchestra. And because our own Dottie has been such a good little girl all year, she gets to sing. Jingle bells.

[Crew Chief Quartet]

Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way oh, what fun it is to ride In a one horse open sleigh Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way oh, what fun it is to ride In a one horse open sleigh Dashing through the snow In a one horse open sleigh O' er the fields we go Laughing all the way Bells on bobtail ring Making spirits bright what fun it is to ride and sing a sleigh bell song tonight.

[Henry Russell]

Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle all the way oh, what fun it is to ride in one horse Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle all the way One is to ride in a one horse open.

[Crew Chief Quartet]

Sleigh Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way oh, what fun it is to ride In a one horse open sleigh Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way oh, what fun it is to ride A wonderful open sleigh.

[Dorothy Lamour]

No actor who has ever been on the stage or screen has depicted as warm and as human a character. As our first guest star tonight, his portrayal of the downtrodden male has earned him a warm place in the hearts of us all. And I can think of no one I'd rather introduce on this Christmas program than my good friend, Victor Moore.

[Victor Moore]

Thank you, Dottie. And may I say something which I hope you won't take any offense yet?

[Dorothy Lamour]

Why, certainly, Victor. What is it?

[Victor Moore]

Merry Christmas.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Oh, Victor, you're wonderful. And I hope the folks are going to like the little comedy sketch we've dreamed up. Especially for Christmas. Carlton, will you do the customary honors?

[Carlton Caddell]

Right, Dottie. It's Christmas Eve. In a modest little apartment. An apartment shared by two girls who work in one of New York's biggest department stores, Peggy Taylor is relaxing in the living room as the door opens and her roommate, Dorothy comes in.

[Peggy Taylor]

Well, how do you feel, Dotty?

[Dorothy Lamour]

Oh, brother, am I glad this is over.

[Peggy Taylor]

Me, too. This is the worst year we've ever had. Or should I say, the best?

[Dorothy Lamour]

Kids. I've never seen so many of them. There must have been a million kids in the store today.

[Peggy Taylor]

I guess it's the same every year.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Yeah, but I keep hoping some year maybe we'll only get half a million kids.

[Peggy Taylor]

What are you kicking about? You don't even work in the toy department.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Children's clothes aren't any cinch. Putting things on the little darlings. Taking them off. Putting them on. Taking them off.

[Peggy Taylor]

Well, it's all over now.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Who in the dickens is. Are you expecting anybody?

[Peggy Taylor]

No. No, I'm not.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, might as well answer it.

[Victor Moore]

Excuse me, but could I use your telephone for a minute?

[Dorothy Lamour]

Telephone? Why, I guess so.

[Victor Moore]

I saw the light on in your apartment. That's why I rang the bell.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Okay. Santa Claus, come in.

[Victor Moore]

Oh, you knew I was Santa?

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, your red suit and your white beard and your boots. I sort of put two and two together and figured it out.

[Victor Moore]

Well, I'll only be a moment. I had a slight accident. I have to call the North Pole.

[Peggy Taylor]

The North Pole?

[Victor Moore]

Well, don't worry. I'll reverse the charges.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Now, that's nice.

[Victor Moore]

Hello, operator? Can I have long distance, please? Yeah, I'd like to make a long distance call. Reverse charges. The number is Iglo 022002. Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle. Oh. Hello, Mom? Yeah, it's Chris. How's the weather up there, Mom?

[Henry Russell]

Cold.

[Victor Moore]

Cold down here, too. Good Christmas weather, though. The reason I called. Mom, I need another reindeer. We lost Blitzen. Yep, when we were flying over the Griffith Park Zoo. They made him a capital gains offer. Shoot down one of the spares, will you, Mom? I have to take care of Brooklyn. Oh, by the way, girls, what's the address here?

[Peggy Taylor]

164 East 62nd Street.

[Victor Moore]

Yeah, send them down to 164 East 62nd Street, New York City. I'll meet him about 500ft over the roof. Okay. See you tomorrow. Merry Christmas. Mom, do you mind if I sit here for a few minutes until mom sends the reindeer down?

[Dorothy Lamour]

You mean it's going to take a few minutes?

[Victor Moore]

Why, sure. We're about 5,000 miles from the North Pole.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Oh, I see.

[Peggy Taylor]

So you're really Santa Claus.

[Victor Moore]

Yep.

[Dorothy Lamour]

You know, I've always wanted to meet you.

[Victor Moore]

Oh, thank you. It's awfully nice of you to say that.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Yes. There's always been one question I wanted to ask you.

[Victor Moore]

What's that?

[Dorothy Lamour]

Who do you believe in?

[Victor Moore]

Ah, that's a good one. But, you know, there is an answer to it.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Is there?

[Victor Moore]

Yes. I believe in little boys and little girls. I believe in all their little dreams. When they get older, I keep believing in their dreams. And that's why some of them come true.

[Peggy Taylor]

Yes, I'm sure that's right. Have you been doing this sort of thing very long?

[Victor Moore]

About five or six hundred years. I sort of lost track. You know how time flies.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, look, mister, this is lots of fun, but let's play this game some other night.

[Victor Moore]

Game?

[Peggy Taylor]

Sure.

[Dorothy Lamour]

The Santa Claus game.

[Victor Moore]

Oh, you don't believe I'm really Santa Claus?

[Dorothy Lamour]

No, I don't believe it. You see, I'm a big girl now, and I don't believe in Santa Claus, the fairy princess or the pot at the end of the rainbow.

[Victor Moore]

Well, that's too bad. You must miss an awful lot of fun. You know, that's one of the troubles, I suppose, people not believing in Santa Claus.

[Dorothy Lamour]

One of what troubles?

[Victor Moore]

Oh, the trouble with the way the world is, you see, it all started falling apart when people like you stopped believing.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Look, Chris, I haven't got any fight with you. You sound like your heart's in the right place. But no kidding, I'm awfully tired.

[Victor Moore]

Gee, if you could only see the expression on those kids faces when they see this stuff in the morning all over the world. It's the same expression, and it's wonderful to see.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Look, mister, you're a nice guy. I like you, and I. I think you actually believe what you're selling.

[Victor Moore]

Of course I do. And if I could only get you to believe.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Oh, sure, sure, I'll believe. I'll write a letter to Santa Claus.

[Victor Moore]

Why? Why write it? Why not just tell it to me? What would you like for Christmas?

[Dorothy Lamour]

What would I like for Christmas? I'd like to go to Honolulu. I'd like a mink coat. I'd like a new automobile. I'd like a house. I'd like $5,000. I'd like.

[Victor Moore]

Do you want them very, very badly?

[Dorothy Lamour]

I want them so badly that. Oh, what's the use? You almost got me playing this game, too, Pop. No kidding. Don't you think your reindeer's here yet? It's been about three minutes since you ordered him.

[Victor Moore]

Say, you're right. I think it is here. I wonder who mom sent down. Probably Blitzen's brother. Well, thanks so much for the use of your phone and good Night.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Good night, Santa. Well, how'd you like that, Peggy? Wasn't he a honey?

[Peggy Taylor]

Yeah, he was a cute little guy, wasn't he?

[Dorothy Lamour]

He looked like something out of a Keystone Comedy. Wish I had my Keystone camera.

[Peggy Taylor]

I wonder what his trouble was. I wonder how he got started.

[Dorothy Lamour]

He probably saw Miracle on 34th street too many times. Meeting a reindeer 500ft above the house. Wow.

[Peggy Taylor]

He had the cutest pink cheeks, though.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Yeah, just like Santa. Hello? Yes, this is Dorothy Arnold. Yes. What? Look, I can't take a ribbing like this twice in one night. What's that? The letter I sent in that radio contest. Won the giant jackpot prize. What do I get? A trip to Honolulu, a Minn Kota two story house and $5,000 in cash. You're not kidding.

[Schmidt]

Yeah.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Merry Christmas, Dottie. You mean you actually. I guess I actually did.

[Pat O'Brien]

Dotty.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Daddy, where you going?

[Peggy Taylor]

Don't open that window.

[Dorothy Lamour]

It's freezing. It's starting to snow. I just want to see something. I just want to make sure.

[Victor Moore]

He.

[Dorothy Lamour]

He was right there. He is right there. In everything there really is. There really is a Santa Claus.

[Henry Russell]

Merry Christmas, Dorothy.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Merry Christmas.

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[Dorothy Lamour]

There are certain songs that have become associated with the Christmas holiday season. Certain songs that create a gay mood, a light mood and a good kind of feeling mood. We can think of no one who can capture this mood better than the crew chiefs in Henry Russell's orchestra Bundled up in their mittens and snowshoes they usher in the yuletide season with Winter wonderland.

[Henry Russell]

Sled bells ring Are you listening in the lane Snow is listening a beautiful sight we're happy tonight Walking in a winter wonderland Gone away is the bluebird Here to stay is the new bird he sings a love song as we go on Walking in a winter wonderland in the meadow we can build a snowman Then pretend that he is parson Brown he'll say I'll get married we'll say no man but you can do the job when you're in town later on we'll conspire as we dream by the fire to face unafraid the plans that we made Walking in a winter.

[Crew Chief Quartet]

Wonderland California by the blue Pacific the.

[Henry Russell]

Land of Crosby, Lamar and Bob Hope to shoot a scene colossal and terrific they manufacture snow by using so but if you still remember old Jack Frost in December just back on your D shop final train head for Vermont, New Hampshire or Maine I'm with you in spirit Cause here I stayed in my California winner wonderland. Get the basket Seal Test.

[Carlton Caddell]

Here's the way to have a delicious white Christmas. Whip up snowy mounds of Seal Test whipping cream. Then pile it high on pudding pie or fresh fruit. Float it on coffee or cocoa and snow. Cap a bowl of Seal test eggnog with banks of this luscious lip smacking whipped cream Seal test cream whips like a dream. It's extra smooth and rich with a sweet farm fresh flavor that makes your best desserts taste even better. You'll want lots of top quality Seal Test whipping cream for the holiday. Look for festive flavor. Order it from your neighborhood seal test dealer and always get the basket seal test.

[Pat O'Brien]

Dottie, inasmuch as you and I are going to do a lot of kidding in the next few minutes. Did I say something serious about your next number?

[Dorothy Lamour]

Why certainly, Pat. It would be a pleasure.

[Pat O'Brien]

Well, ladies and gentlemen, a few years ago Irving Berlin wrote a song which was sung by American boys all over the world. Boys that were hoping and praying that they'd be back home for Christmas. Let's all pray that never again will any of them have to sing or do their dreaming on some foreign shore. Let's hope that we'll be celebrating this and many more white Christmases at home.

[Henry Russell]

Dreaming of a white.

[Crew Chief Quartet]

Christmas Just like the ones I used to know. Where the treetops glisten and children listen to hear.

[Henry Russell]

Sleigh bells in the snow. I'm dreaming of a white.

[Crew Chief Quartet]

Christmas.

[Henry Russell]

With every Christmas car I ride.

[Carlton Caddell]

May your.

[Henry Russell]

Days be merry and bright. And may all your Christmases be white. May your days be merry and bright and may all May all your Your Christmases be wild.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, it's time to meet again, one of Hollywood's favorite sons. A man who is currently starring in the RKO Technicolor production, the Boy with the Green Hair. And whose thrilling portrayals of such characters as Fighting Father Dunn and Knute Rockne have brought to the screen believable portraits of what real, honest to goodness Americans are like. Pat, the top of the evening to you. Thank you.

[Pat O'Brien]

Thank you. And the rest of the night to yourself.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, Pat, my boy, why don't we let our broth of an announcer tell us about our sketch that's coming up?

[Pat O'Brien]

All right, by myself. But bear in mind now, any resemblance between the football coach I'm about to play and any other football coach is purely coincidental and offside.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Okay, dad. Carlton, while I put on my Lily Dashe helmet, set the scene.

[Carlton Caddell]

Okay, Coach. The time is late Saturday afternoon and Aurora U. Has just defeated Pottsville City College 7 to 6 in the last regular game of the season. The victorious Aurora team is just trooping into the dressing room under the stands. The last to enter is Coach Pat Stonewall, his friendly face beaming as he gently closes the door.

[Pat O'Brien]

Shut up. What a team. Gee, Coach, we won, didn't we?

[Victor Moore]

We won. Didn't we?

[Pat O'Brien]

Call that winning? Pottsville scored the first touchdowns in 1935. Well, we're still undefeated.

[Carlton Caddell]

We get into the soup bowl game now.

[Pat O'Brien]

And what Cucamonga team will do to you guys in a soup bowl shouldn't happen to Alphabet Noodles.

[Victor Moore]

Oh, my boys. My great team.

[Pat O'Brien]

What happened to you? What happened to my All Americans?

[Schmidt]

Yeah, what happened? I fell asleep on the bench.

[Pat O'Brien]

Shut up, Schmidt. You left here to go out for the second half. I found this in the dressing room. A black lace handkerchief.

[Schmidt]

Gee, what nice perfume. Wave it a little bit more.

[Pat O'Brien]

Who owns this thing?

[Carlton Caddell]

A girl gave it to me for luck.

[Pat O'Brien]

For luck? Well, you're lucky you weren't murdered out there this afternoon. You guys were all missing some quarters last night. Where were you?

[Schmidt]

Oh, we were invited to a girl's house for dinner.

[Pat O'Brien]

The whole team?

[Schmidt]

Yeah, she likes football players.

[Pat O'Brien]

Who is this dame? Who is this Mata Harry who's turning you into a crap leg for the soup bowl? Her name is Nanette.

[Schmidt]

Yeah, she made a sauerkraut and pig's knuckles.

[Pat O'Brien]

Sauerkraut and pig's knuckles. The night before a game. So that's it you had indigestion out there today?

[Schmidt]

Yeah. Wasn't Zach great when he went across? And that touchdown play carried the ball. Three tacklers and nine pigs knuckles.

[Pat O'Brien]

I'll teach you to break training, Schmidt.

[Schmidt]

Yes, sir.

[Pat O'Brien]

Who is this Nanette Dame?

[Schmidt]

Oh, she's the dam cook to 10 pigs knuckles.

[Pat O'Brien]

Okay, okay. Get dressed and lead me to her.

[Schmidt]

Well, this is the place, Coach.

[Pat O'Brien]

Ring that bell.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, hello, Schmitzy with Schmitzy Witzy.

[Schmidt]

Yeah, it's a sort of a nickname.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Gee, I'm glad you came. I have something for you.

[Victor Moore]

Yeah, you sure have.

[Schmidt]

Nanette, this is Coach Stonewall.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Aha. Nice. I baked a cake for the boys.

[Pat O'Brien]

I'm not raising a team of cake eaters. I want to talk to you. Beat it, Schmidt.

[Schmidt]

Yes, sir.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, do you mind if we talk in the kitchen? I'm preparing dinner.

[Pat O'Brien]

Just. Are you expecting company?

[Dorothy Lamour]

Well, I. I do have enough for two.

[Pat O'Brien]

Now, you're not feeding Schmidt or any of my boys. After what happened this afternoon, I never saw anything like it. 11 guys sitting there on the grass, sending a water boy for bicarbonate of soda. Hey, what's that I smell?

[Dorothy Lamour]

Broiled sirloin potatoes, asparagus and biscuit.

[Pat O'Brien]

Hey, it smells good.

[Dorothy Lamour]

It's too bad you can't day.

[Pat O'Brien]

Well, ain't like it was pig's knuckles.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Was the dam coach.

[Pat O'Brien]

Well, I can't see any harm. All right, fellas. All right, all right, all right. I. I called here to tell you that. Well, for every man come comes a time when he gets tired of doing his own cooking.

[Schmidt]

Holy smokes. The coach wants us to cook for him.

[Pat O'Brien]

Shut up, Schmidt. Yes, sir, old fellow. What I'm trying to say is that. Oh, for crying out loud. Matnet, come in here a minute, will you? Hey.

[Schmidt]

Oh, Nanette's here.

[Henry Russell]

The coach has flipped his wig.

[Dorothy Lamour]

What is it, honey?

[Pat O'Brien]

Honey, Fellas, Nanette and I got married last night.

[Carlton Caddell]

Married?

[Pat O'Brien]

What's the matter with you, boy?

[Schmidt]

She even cooked the coach.

[Pat O'Brien]

I've always been like a Fabian. I want you to look upon Nanette as your mother.

[Schmidt]

Holy smokes.

[Pat O'Brien]

Shut up, Smith.

[Schmidt]

Yes, sir.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Give them the gifts, honey.

[Pat O'Brien]

Mother, I mean Nanette has a good luck charm for each of you. Nice black lace handkerchiefs.

[Schmidt]

Who we playing in that soup bowl game? Vassar?

[Pat O'Brien]

Don't worry. It's Cucamonga, all right. But you'll beat him. Tough team, coach. Yeah, but they're all coming here for dinner the night before the game.

[Schmidt]

You mean the secret weapon, coach?

[Pat O'Brien]

That's right, boys. Pigs knuckles and Sauerkraut.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Pat o'. Brien. I mean, coach. That was an all American performance. And thanks a lot for letting me be on the team. We'll be listening to you on your own new show, Pat o' Brien from inside Hollywood. And now in just a few seconds, we'll give you some great news about our guest for next week.

[Henry Russell]

Get the basket Seal Test.

[Carlton Caddell]

Christmas comes just once a year, but Seal Test always brings good cheer. So celebrate with Seal Test. Serve red raspberry tarts to climax your Christmas dinner. This seal test dessert of the month even looks the part with a yuletide topping of green whipped cream on red ripe raspberries. The base is seal test vanilla ice cream. Smooth and creamy ice cream eating at its finest. That goes for chocolate chip ice cream, too. The seal test flavor of the month famous test vanilla ice cream jam packed with chips of luscious bittersweet chocolate. Special as can be. And just the ticket to reward the tree trimmers tomorrow night for happy holiday treats, get chocolate chip ice cream and red raspberry tarts from your seal test dealer. And whenever you crave ice cream, always.

[Henry Russell]

Get the basket seal test.

[Carlton Caddell]

And here again is your mistress of.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Ceremonies, Dorothy Lamour, Victor Moore and Pat o'. Brien. Thanks for filling up our Christmas stocking with such wonderful fun. And another important thank you is heading in your direction because your appearance here tonight contributes to a fine cause, the establishment of the American Federation of Radio Artists Welfare insurance Fund. Next Thursday, our guest will be that lovable actor Lionel Barrymore and that outstanding young, young comedian, Gary Moore. And now, Carlton, I believe you have something to say regarding that old slogan, the best is yet to come.

[Carlton Caddell]

You're right, Dottie. 130 million people are grateful for what we have this Christmas just because we live in America. But the best is yet to come. As abundant as our country is, we can have more of everything if we continue to realize that each American's personal standard of living will rise in proportion to how much all Americans produce through better machines, better methods and better teamwork.

[Dorothy Lamour]

Thank you, Carlton. And now, until next week, this is Dorothy Lamour saying, keep well, keep happy. And to the Hollywood Women's Press Conference Club, a very big thank you to everybody. May this be the best and the happiest of all Christmases.

[Carlton Caddell]

Tonight's Sealtest Variety Theater was written by Howard Harris and Joe Murcott. Direction is by Glenn Hall Taylor. Tune in next Thursday at this same time when Sealtest Milk and Ice Cream again presents Sealtest Variety Theater starring Dorothy Lamour. And as our guests Gary Moore and Lionel Barrymore. Seal Test Incorporated and associate companies are divisions of National Dairy Products Corporation. This is Carlton Caddell speaking. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.

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