
Leonidas Witherall - The Corpse Meets a Deadline
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Jackie Bigelow
Thanks for everything, boss. Maybe I can repay the favor sometime. Maybe I can do something for you like cutting your throat.
Narrator
WO presents the distinguished American actor Walter Hampden in the Adventures of Leonidas Witherol. Tonight's adventure, the Corpse Meets the deadline. Leonidas Witherall is the New England schoolmaster who looks like Shakespeare and is always getting mixed up in murders. At the moment, Mr. Witherall has gone to the city desk of the Dalton Herald. It's a very urgent mission on behalf of his housekeeper, Mrs. Mullet. And Leonidas, along with Mrs. M, is explaining it to the Herald's editor, Mr. Forrest.
Leonidas Witherall
You see, Forrest.
Mr. Forrest
Yes, Leonidas.
Leonidas Witherall
Mrs. Mullet, here is. What's your title, Mrs. Mullet?
Mrs. Mullet
I'm director of Public Relations for the Dalton's Ladies Aid and Get Together Society. Early Wednesday afternoon, group section two leaving on track seven. And our group's holding a special meeting tomorrow.
Leonidas Witherall
They're having a guest lecturer, Forrest.
Mr. Forrest
Oh, really? Who is it?
Mrs. Mullet
We're having Mrs. Hildegard Fish, who wrote South American Question Mark and Balkan Riddle. She's going to speak on Russia. Russia? What does it mean?
Leonidas Witherall
Completely baffled, isn't she?
Mr. Forrest
And you want us to mention it in the Herald, huh?
Mrs. Mullet
Mention it?
Leonidas Witherall
Well, if you could eliminate the news about General Eisenhower and General Patton and just turn, say, 10 columns over the Mrs. Mullett group.
Mrs. Mullet
Forrester, aside from Mrs. Fish, we're having an election and our spring tea dance. Gonna be a big day.
Mr. Forrest
All right, Mrs. Mullet. We'll see that you get all the space you deserve.
Leonidas Witherall
How's that, Mrs. Mullet? I told you we could persuade Mr. Forrest.
Mrs. Mullet
Persuade him? Why, he should be glad I'm giving him a scoop.
Mr. Forrest
Oh, I am, Mrs. Mullet. We don't often get a break like this.
Mr. Bennett
There you are, Forrest.
Mr. Forrest
Mr. Bennet.
Leonidas Witherall
Hello, Mr. Bennett.
Mr. Bennett
Forrest, you're a stupid, ill, irresponsible, cheap, yellow journalist.
Mr. Forrest
Now look, Bennett, all I did.
Mr. Bennett
Look at this paper of yours. Look at that picture. On the front page, too. I told you not to print that horrible picture of my daughter.
Mr. Forrest
There's no harm in that.
Mr. Bennett
Running this picture of that rotten gambling den with all those crooks. And there at the table, my daughter.
Mr. Forrest
I can't help it if your daughter visits gambling joints.
Mr. Bennett
Bennett, the girl's just 18 years old. She went out on a date. She's no idea where they were going.
Mr. Forrest
Just the same, she was there.
Mr. Bennett
She wanted to leave the minute they got to that. That evil, iniquitous place.
Mr. Forrest
But she didn't leave. The cops came in and our man got the picture. And it's not our fault that she's in it.
Mr. Bennett
Forrest, I told you yesterday not to print it.
Mr. Forrest
Sorry, Bennett. It was the only shot we had. And a good one, too.
Mr. Bennett
You've ruined my daughter's reputation. You've disgraced her.
Mr. Forrest
Oh, don't be such a blue nose, Bennett. Now, if you don't mind, I'm busy. I've got an addition to. Get out.
Mr. Bennett
I ought to thrash you, Forrest. I ought to treat you the way my grandfather handled a smart aleck newspaper man out west. He got a horsewhip and he whipped that editor within an inch of his life.
Mr. Forrest
If you don't watch your tongue, Bennett, I'll have you thrown out of this office.
Mr. Bennett
Oh, you wouldn't dare.
Leonidas Witherall
No, no, no, no, Mr. Bennett, I don't want to interfere, but perhaps if you'd cool off.
Mr. Bennett
You keep your beard out of this with.
Mrs. Mullet
Hold your tongue, Mr. Bennett.
Mr. Bennett
Forrest. You filthy.
Mr. Forrest
Get away from this death. Bennett. Yes.
Mr. Bennett
Let me get my hands on your throat. Forrest. Just a. Bennett, I'm going to show you. Let go of me, brother. Mr. Bennett.
Mr. Forrest
Take your hands off course.
Mrs. Mullet
You let go of him, Mr. Bennett.
Leonidas Witherall
Come on, Mr. Bennett, or I'll.
Mr. Forrest
All right, all right, you crazy fool. Get out of here. I warn you.
Mr. Bennett
All right, Horace. I'm getting out now. But this isn't the end of it.
Mr. Forrest
Go on.
Mr. Bennett
I see that justice is done for us. I'll see that you're taken care of, no matter how far I have to go.
Leonidas Witherall
Looks as though Mr. Bennett's going to be a very serious problem for us.
Mr. Forrest
Oh, him, Leonidas? No, I. I'm used to that.
Leonidas Witherall
He seems to be extremely excitable.
Mr. Forrest
You've got him all wrong. Sure, he'll rave and rant for a while, write letters, and then he'll calm down.
Leonidas Witherall
Well, I hope so. It doesn't seem as trivial as that, though. I know Bennett. He's very headstrong old gentleman. And your printing that picture has defiled his little child's good name.
Mr. Forrest
Oh, forget it, Leonidas. Oh, come on. I don't often have you down here. Suppose I Show you and Mrs. Mullet around the place? Feel like touring the plant?
Mrs. Mullet
Oh, I'd love to.
Leonidas Witherall
Lead on, Macduff.
Mrs. Mullet
I'd like to see the room where the news stickers are. Mr. Mullet knew a lot about news. You know, he had a definition of news, Mr. Witherl.
Leonidas Witherall
Was it by any chance about a dog?
Mrs. Mullet
Well, that's right. He said that when a dog bites a man, that's not news. But When a man bites a dog.
Leonidas Witherall
Is that right?
Mrs. Mullet
Yes.
Leonidas Witherall
Anyone ever take a good bite out of Mr. Mullet?
Mrs. Mullet
Well, how did you know?
Mr. Forrest
These are the Linotype machines, Leonidas.
Leonidas Witherall
Quite a formidable array of them. Forrest, could we go over to one
Mrs. Mullet
of them and get a closer look?
Mr. Forrest
Oh, sure. Come on. Pat Welsh over there will explain his machine to you.
Leonidas Witherall
Pat. Yes, Mr. Forrest?
Mr. Forrest
Let up a second, Pat. We have visitors. This is Mr. Witherall and Mrs. Mullet.
Mrs. Mullet
How do you do?
Mr. Forrest
Pat here was once a publisher himself.
Leonidas Witherall
Oh, really? Yes, but I don't talk about it much.
Mr. Forrest
Pat had an unpleasant experience. Lost his paper. It was very sad, Leonidas. Terribly sad.
Leonidas Witherall
The machines work like a big typewriter, you see. You push the keys and they cut letters on what we call lead slip.
Mr. Forrest
Yes, Pat had big ideas once, but he. He had to learn the lead isn't wasted.
Leonidas Witherall
After we print the paper, it's melted down again.
Mr. Forrest
Of course, lots of us have to learn. We all make mistakes.
Leonidas Witherall
It's evident for us that Pat would rather not talk about his old career. Now, where do you melt down the lead?
Mr. Forrest
Oh, we have it in those big cauldrons. You see them on the platform up there? They're right over your head.
Leonidas Witherall
Oh, yes.
Mr. Forrest
You see the steam coming off? Well, that's piping hot lead in that cauldron boiling like noodle soup.
Leonidas Witherall
Ah, noodle soup. Get that, Mrs. Munn.
Mr. Forrest
Well, the slugs are melted right in there, you see. And then we cool it and feed it down to the machines.
Mrs. Mullet
Where are the presses? That's another thing I want to see.
Mr. Forrest
Oh, we'll go there now. We're running an edition, so you'll see the whole works.
Mrs. Mullet
Running an edition. Well, shouldn't you do something first about my story, the Lady's literary Groom?
Leonidas Witherall
Oh, yes, Forrest, Mrs. Mullet would like you to stop the presses for it.
Mr. Forrest
Oh, we'll get it in the next edition, Mrs. Mullet. I put our top reporter on the job, Jackie Bigelow, the minute I get back upstairs. Jackie's our best man, you know.
Mr. Bennett
He'll do.
Mr. Forrest
You.
Jackie Bigelow
Sent for me, Mr. Forrest?
Mr. Forrest
Yes, Jackie. I just left Leander's Witheral. He had some woman with him, a Mrs. Mullet. Mullard? Yeah, I know her.
Jackie Bigelow
Sort of a neighborhood housekeeper up around the Birch Hill section.
Mr. Forrest
Yes, well, she's having a taffy pool for a ladies club. Get one of the kids out front to call it Witherald. Get the whole story. Write a couple of sticks for the three stars. All right, that's all, Jackie. You can go.
Jackie Bigelow
That's all as far as you're concerned, Forrest. Yes, but I want to do a little talking. This is just as good a time as any.
Mr. Forrest
Well, hurry up. I've got a desk full of copying in.
Jackie Bigelow
Uh huh. You know what it's about? It's about a phone conversation you had with Cosmopolitan Syndicate.
Mr. Forrest
Oh, that wasn't anything.
Jackie Bigelow
Oh, that wasn't anything, huh? I worked for six months to get Cosmopolitan to make me that offer.
Mr. Forrest
You wouldn't have enjoyed being a foreign correspondent, Jackie. Especially in Chung Kings. Tough grind. Thank you.
Jackie Bigelow
I wouldn't, huh? That just happens to be why I got into this newspaper racket. All my life I've wanted to be a foreign correspondent. You knew that.
Mr. Forrest
They asked me for a frank opinion, Jackie. I told him I thought you were a pretty fair reporter.
Jackie Bigelow
Don't lie to me, Forrest. You told him I was a punk reporter? I found out you did that for one reason. Because you're naturally a louse.
Mr. Forrest
What an imagination you've got, Jackie.
Jackie Bigelow
You didn't want to lose a good man yourself these days. That's tough, isn't it?
Mr. Forrest
Will you cut it?
Jackie Bigelow
I couldn't get into this man's war the regular way. The army turned me down. You knew that too. You know, I've been eating my heart out covering this small town junk while just a little way down the railroad tracks. The whole bloody world's on fire. You killed my chance, Forrest. I'll never get out of this town now. It might be a year, two years, maybe forever. That was my one big chance. And you fixed it so I'd miss the boat.
Mr. Forrest
Lay off checking.
Jackie Bigelow
I'm gonna.
Mr. Forrest
You heard me. Lay off. City Des. Forrest. Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Right. Get into that jalopy of yours and beat it over to the Perkins. Shipyards burning up. Three alarms have gone out.
Jackie Bigelow
Okay, I'm on my way. And thanks, Forrest. Thanks for everything. Maybe I can do something for you sometime. Like cutting your throat.
Leonidas Witherall
What can I do for you, Mr. Bennett?
Mr. Bennett
I've come here to your place, Mr. Witherall, to apologize for my behavior this morning at the Herald office.
Leonidas Witherall
It was deplorable, Mr. Bennett. But of course, you felt printing that picture of your daughter was very embarrassing.
Mr. Bennett
That's just the point. I wanted to apologize to you. But I certainly don't intend to retract anything I said to Forrest. In fact, I want your help.
Leonidas Witherall
Really, Mr. Bennett, isn't this much ado about nothing? As the poet said, you have too much respect upon the world. They lose it that Dubai.
Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Leonidas Witherall – The Corpse Meets a Deadline
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Date: June 15, 2026
This episode features an installment from the classic radio series "The Adventures of Leonidas Witherall," particularly the episode titled "The Corpse Meets a Deadline." Set in the golden era of radio drama, the show revolves around Leonidas Witherall, a New England schoolmaster known for his uncanny resemblance to Shakespeare, who frequently gets involved in solving crimes. In this episode, Witherall visits the Dalton Herald newspaper on behalf of his housekeeper, Mrs. Mullet, but quickly finds himself entangled in tense confrontations, bruised egos, and a brewing murder mystery within the newspaper’s bustling newsroom.
“He should be glad I'm giving him a scoop.”
— Mrs. Mullet (01:43), with her trademark blend of bravado and wit.
“I ought to thrash you, Forrest...He got a horsewhip and he whipped that editor within an inch of his life.”
— Mr. Bennett (02:35), escalating the old-school drama.
“When a dog bites a man, that's not news. But when a man bites a dog...”
— Mrs. Mullet (04:10), citing journalism wisdom.
“You killed my chance, Forrest. I'll never get out of this town now...Maybe I can do something for you sometime. Like cutting your throat.”
— Jackie Bigelow (07:27 & 00:06/08:01), unforgettable for its intensity.
The episode carries the lively, theatrical flair of classic radio drama. Sharp, witty dialogue and character-driven humor blend seamlessly with moments of tension and looming menace, all underscored by the familiar setting of a bustling mid-century newsroom.
“The Corpse Meets a Deadline” immerses listeners in a web of newsroom rivalries, personal vendettas, and local drama, setting the stage for what is likely to turn into a murder mystery. Memorable character interactions and classic journalistic dilemmas—publicity vs. privacy, ambition vs. loyalty—drive the narrative, all wrapped in the rich, nostalgic style of old-time radio.