
Columbia Workshop 36-08-22 The March of the Molecules - There Must Be Something Else
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A
What do you think makes the perfect snack? Hmm.
B
It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.
A
Could you be more specific? When it's cravenient. Okay.
B
Like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast.
A
Sandwich I can grab in just a second at a.m. p. M. I'm seeing a pattern here.
B
Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.
A
Crave, which is anything from AM PM what more could you want?
B
Stop by AM PM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience. Am pm too much. Good stuff. Testing, 1, 2, 3, 4. Testing, 1, 2,3, 4. Testing, 1,2, 3, 4. The Columbia workshop under the direction of Irving Reese. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight the Columbia Workshop presents the fifth in its series of experimental programs dedicated to you and the magic of radio. Thank you for your letters. On last Saturday evening's broadcast, Case Hill history by Milton M.E. geiger. Your response to this unusual dramatic script has convinced us that in giving Mr. Geiger his first hearing on network radio, the Workshop has discovered a writer of first magnitude. We shall encourage more of his work. Tonight. We divide our program into two sections. The first half will consist of an interesting technical demonstration which we believe will help you to understand more about your radio receivers. And the second half will be a presentation of a new and original radio drama. There Must Be Something Else by Helen Bergavoy. Ms. Bergavoy is a talented young radio actress. And There Must Be Something Else is her initial attempt at writing for the microphone. Before our demonstration begins, we should like to introduce a man whose cooperation and assistance to the workshop has alone made most of the experimenting possible. Mr. Ek Cohen, Director of engineering for the Columbia Broadcasting Company. Ladies and gentlemen, the engineering department of the Columbia Network is as happy to play a part in this series of experimental programs known as the Columbia Workshop, as it is proud of the fact that its young and creative producer, Mr. Irving Reese, was for many years one of its very capable members. In endeavoring to make the scope of these programs as broad and as interesting as possible to you, our audience and judges. We are not confining ourselves wholly to the facilities and services available within our own domain, but we will from time to time augment our own resources by calling upon the cooperative assistance of associates and facilities within the industry. It is just such an occasion that I now have the pleasure of introducing a man who has been prominently identified with radio broadcasting since its inception as one of the original Federal Radio commissioners back in the days when the government undertook the task of bringing order out of a wavelength chaos. This gentleman has had much to do with shaping the destiny of a new child of science. Radio broadcasting. We have requested him to be with us this evening. That he might employ the medium with which he has been so closely associated. To bring to you some more of the marvels of modern science. May I present Dr. Orestes H. Caldwell. Thank you, Mr. Cohen. Ladies and gentlemen, your radio set is a marvelous mechanism. And I am glad to have the opportunity to help the workshop in telling you something about it. Your receiver, looked at one way, is a machine with a hundred million moving parts. And yet it all operates silently as it converts the feeble little electrical impulses which ultimately become music and sound in your loudspeaker. In a moment, I am going to demonstrate some of these moving parts whose speed is faster than a high powered rifle bullet. The most interesting thing about a radio set to me is its uncanny ability to take the tiny electrical current which comes flowing down the antenna wire and to magnify that current millions and millions of times until it has power enough to reconstruct the original sound life size. Just as that sound was produced in the broadcast studio many miles away. The current picked up by your antenna is so small that a cent's worth of electricity at present rates could keep a current strong enough to produce an audible sound in your radio for 30 million years. So that to start such an experiment, we would have to turn the calendar back to those dim Triassic times when dinosaurs scampered over the face of America. But even a current so tiny as that that flows in your home antenna contains in itself all the marvelous tones and cadences of the music or speech. You have only to amplify it or magnify it through your radio set. And when it is built up several hundred million times, it flows into your loudspeaker and reproduces all the sounds that went into the microphone at the studio. In this process of magnification, the currents flow through various magnetic parts in your radio receiver. And in these parts there take place some incredibly swift and wonderful actions that we are going to let you hear. Tiny particles in the solid iron of the magnetic parts have to turn flip flops many times a second to pass along the signal which brings you the sound. And that iron, in fact any iron, is made up of tiny particles called molecules, which are so small that it takes about 30 million of them laid end to end to measure an inch. When no current is flowing through your receiver, these molecules lie helter skelter turned this way and that. And their magnetic force is neutralized. But when you turn your radio set on. It is necessary for these millions of little soldiers. To regiment themselves. To line themselves up. And then continually to about face and countermarch to the music. Upon the accuracy and the unison with which they obey. Depends the quality of your radio reproduction. When low tones are coming through your receiver. The molecules are about facing probably 100 times a second. When high tones come through, they are called upon to reverse themselves about 5,000 times per second. No scientist has yet been able to devise a microscope powerful enough. To enable you even to see one of these little molecules in action. Yet I am going to let you hear these individual iron molecules. As they turn over in their steel beds. With the special apparatus we have here in the studio this evening. You are going to hear the movements of particles. Less than 1/30 millionth of an inch long. I hold in my hand a piece of soft iron. In which the molecules lie relaxed and lazily strewn about in all directions. Because they are in this lazy state. The iron does not appear to be magnetized. But now listen as I bring it near a horseshoe magnet. As it approaches the magnet, you will hear the little molecules in the soft iron begin to line themselves up. Now, if I move the magnet closer. Increasing the magnetization of the iron bar still further.
A
Look. Listen.
B
More of the molecules fall into regimental formation. And the soft iron bar becomes a magnet itself. Here you have regimentation, all right. In fact, speedy regimentation of this kind. Is necessary for the operation of all radio apparatus. If the molecular soldiers refused to line up. Your radio set would be silent. Now listen while I take the magnet away. And you will hear the molecules falling back to their former positions. You notice that the change during both demonstrations. Took place very slowly. That is, the tiny individual molecules seem to flop over one after the other. And what you heard was the successive and combined clatter. Of hundreds of thousands of these tiny magnets turning over. Now, you may be wondering how the action of these molecules makes the music. I'll try to clear that up. Here is what we call one complete cycle. Or a double flip flop. As I spin the magnet so as to magnetize the bar first one way and then the other. But now, if I spin the magnet rapidly. You will hear a succession of reversals. But being human, and not quite as marvelous as your radio set. The fastest I can spin this magnet is about five or ten times per second. And even that fast, it would still sound like the roar of the noise that you just heard. But if I could spin it about 80 times a second, this is what it would sound like. That was an electric oscillator you just heard, making the molecules reverse themselves about 80 times per second. Now let us assume that I could spin this iron bar 256 times per second. Then you would hear this. And finally, if my hand were quick enough to spin this around about 4,000 times a second, the reversals would sound like this. So you see, every musical note or sound is produced by a succession of rapid right about faces of the amazing little soldiers in your radio set. In the three demonstrations of tones you just heard, the soldiers reversed themselves a definite number of times, 80 times or 256 times, or 4,000 times per second. But those were single tones. Try to imagine what is happening now as we play some organ music for you, which consists of hundreds of tones and changes and really presents a difficult job for the tiny little soldiers. Every time you hear music or speech over the radio, remember that it is made been made possible by these rapid about faces, or flip flops if you prefer, of millions of tiny little iron molecules turning somersaults hundreds and thousands of times a second. So if you are going to listen to splendid music, you will want a radio set capable of reproducing all the rich tones of the bass as well as the treble overtones which give snap and color to the instruments of the orchestra. It is these overtones that give timbre and accuracy to the quality of the singer's voice or the musician's violin. Modern broadcasting stations do their part by delivering this music right to your roof. But some sets have little soldiers that are not quite as active and alive enough to make their reversals as fast as high quality music demands. In some of our demonstration broadcasts to follow, we shall show you what a faulty radio receiver does to prevent your hearing the entire range of sounds as it is broadcast. Thank you. Thank you, Dr. Caldwell. Now the Columbia Workshop presents There Must Be Something Else by Helen Bergavoy. In his carefully sumptuous modern office, John Doe, a successful young businessman, sits at his desk. All the loose ends of the business day have to be tied up in readiness for the morrow. Outside, the New York skyline quivers in the shadows of a swiftly descending twilight. Outside, the myriad lights twinkle softly, mystically. Heedless of this, John Doe is busy.
A
Talking on the telephone.
B
Now get it straight, fell. Yes, yes, I know I told you not to last week, but there's been a change. Well, this is no time for explanations. I've got my eye right in the tick of this second fell. All right. Check with me tomorrow. Yes, goodbye. Yes?
A
The Kogelwaff is calling.
B
Put them on. Hello? Just about to call you. No, no. Buy. Keep Chicago buying. We're selling here. Prices are going up. I don't care. I've told you over and over again I won't have stockholders meddling. All right. Yes, that's all. Send me a memorandum.
A
Goodbye. Cable from London, Mr. Doe.
B
Bring it in. I want to dictate a letter.
A
Here's the table, Mr. Doe.
B
Oh, let me see.
A
Hmm.
B
Well, I'll do nothing of the fork quoting a figure like that. Wait a minute. Hello? Who? No, no, tell him I can't see him.
A
I don't care how long he's waiting.
B
Yes, yes, make it next week. And that goes for everybody. Now, where was I?
A
You wanted to dictate a letter, Mr. Joe. Oh, yes, yes.
B
Hawkins of London. You know the address? No, I think I better phone him. Get me London. He'll have to double his offer before he signs that contract.
A
It's too late, Mr. Doe.
B
What?
A
It's 11pm in London now.
B
Oh, that's right. These time differences waste a lot of hours and money.
A
Yes, Mr. Doe.
B
Call Henry on your phone outside and.
A
Tell him to get the car here. Picker stopped. Guess business is over. Yes, mister. Do you. I called you chauffeur. Mr. Dole. Where is that music coming from? There's an organ studio on the 23rd floor. They must have their windows open a long time since I heard that melody way, way back. Strange how music takes you back to other things. Yes, it does. Only this time I don't know what it reminds me of. Like a half remembered dream. Organ music in the New York skyline. It's pretty wonderful when you have time to stop and look at it. Yes, Mr. Girl. All those lights and shadows like a kid's dream. Arabian night and stone and steel. Behind those thousands of windows that glitter and melt into the twilight are other officers just like this one. Other young businessmen, other model secretaries. Will there be anything else, Mr. Dole? I must do something else. I must do this for you. I beg your pardon, Mr. Doe.
B
Oh, pardon me, I. I was just mumbling to myself.
A
No, no, there's nothing else. You may go now.
B
It must be that music. I don't know what it made me think of.
A
I'm.
B
I'm sorry I kept you.
A
You have the appointments for tomorrow, Mr. Doe?
B
Oh, yes. So Never mind.
A
You won't forget your dinner engagement at the ritz tonight with Mr. Jones. About that new contract? No, I'm going on there in a few minutes. I'm afraid I've been keeping you. Oh no, Mr. Doe. Only looking out there reminded me that once, a long time ago, I was not John Doe, a businessman I wanted to be.
B
You'd better run along, it's late.
A
Yes, Mr. Doe. You won't forget that dinner appointment?
B
No.
A
Good night.
B
Good night.
A
There must be the queen.
B
That's wonderful. I don't see how he does it. Well, there you are, Doe. Right on the dotted line. I've got to hand it to you high pressure youngsters. I didn't intend signing that contract tonight and there it is before dinner's over. Thanks. I'm sure you won't regret it. No, I don't think I shall. You've got what it takes.
A
I wonder.
B
Say, for a man that just closed a million dollar deal, you're pretty glad. You've just got about everything anyone could wish for. Position, wealth.
A
Yes, but there must be something else. Sure.
B
A little celebration in honor of closing the deal. You need a drink and a little fun. I know just what you need for that feeding. Come on, we'll do the town. Claire Clay.
A
She's going to sing.
B
She's a honey.
A
She's a honey. I'm afraid of the dark if I cling to you it needs me and I sing to you it only means that I'm afraid of the door I'm afraid of it all Won't you hold my hand? I'm afraid of the dark Won't you understand? And if I cling to you but it mustn't mean a thing to you But I'm afraid of your God Won't you hold my hand? Hey, that's.
B
Well, that's.
A
Well. What's the matter with your boyfriend? Looks like he swallowed nails.
B
Swallowed nails?
A
That's right.
B
You hear that, Doe? Hey, Doe. He's all right. He's the best little fell in town.
A
Smart as a whip.
B
He's just tired. Hey, this the 10th place we've been to. He needs another drink. That's it. Another drink. Hey, do? Yeah, sure, another drink. Fine. Me and my pal Lily will dance over at the bar and order it for you. Oh, you keep him awake, sister. I'll be seeing you.
A
Come on, Lily. Come on, sugar. Your boyfriend's gone. Relax. Be yourself. Sure, sure. You've got the cutest. Ey. Listen, big boy, I don't think you like me. There must be something else. What say? We've been trying to have a party and all evening you act like a dead wire. What's on your mind, sugar? Oh, I. I don't know. Oh, come on, baby, loosen up. No, no, please. Please don't. Hey. Say, where are you going?
B
Home. Hey, where you going?
A
What's the matter? I'm going home.
B
Well, I'll go with you.
A
No, no, no, no.
B
That's all right.
A
I'll get home all.
B
Oh, can't let my pal Doe go home alone.
A
Come on, Lil, let's shove off. The party's over. No, no, don't.
B
Please don't break up. That's all right. Come on, let's go.
A
Come on, Everybody.
B
Go. Room 514, sir. Thanks, boy. Thank you, sir. Yeah. Here you are. Got you home to your room, safe and sound.
A
Yes, thanks. Thanks.
B
You better get to bed, though. You look pretty tired.
A
Yes, thanks, Mr. Jones.
B
Good night. Well, I guess I'll be leaving you now. Go back and find the girls.
A
Yeah, sure.
B
Well, good night, old pal. See you in the morning.
A
Good night. Good night. John. John, come with me. Who are you? John. John, come with me. Where are you? Come. Dark. I see only a tall white staircase and millions of white steps. To John, go.
B
Humor.
A
Who are you? Why do you sit so still? Write terror into my heart.
B
I am the deaf composer. I am the mute singer.
A
I am the blind painter. It's cold here. Why do you sit in the shadows of the stairs?
B
Out of these shadows, from remembered sunlight, I fashion a melody.
A
What Trains. I've never heard that tune before. Why did it come from so far away?
B
Because of the death that's done.
A
Now I hear something else. Words of crushed sweetness distilled upon the air. Only I can't repeat them. That is the poem that was once begun. Finish it. No. I am you. Strange colors suffuse me in transcendent, unheard of loveliness.
B
Once I was a painter, but the shadows have blinded me.
A
I see your colors through a mist of tears. Your poem and your myth.
B
We wait for you to release us.
A
Shall I buy your unfinished work? You know not what. What you offer. John. John, come to me. Go to her, John. Save us. How can I save you?
B
Go where she calls.
A
Speak to her. Touch her hand.
B
Touch her hand and we will be saved.
A
Why should I save you? I will go to her. Maybe I will touch her hand. Ah, yes, yes. But I will not save you. You are in rags and I hate you. I hate you because you are maimed and your humble faces make me want to strike you. John, take my hand. Oh, yes. Yes, I want to. Oh, I see you now. I'm climbing the steps. I must follow. Soon. Soon I will reach you. Follow her.
B
Follow the beckoning hands of the dream.
A
Follow. Follow. At last I am near you. I can almost touch you. Do you remember this place, John? It is beautiful here. Do you remember me, John? Surely I have never seen you or this place before. Yet here is a haunting beauty. Years ago you came here to this cool green valley. And you brought me with you. And you loved me. Then you left. Oh, there has never been any sunlight since that time. Night after night I've called you and those poor hurt creatures down below on the lower steps of the tall stairs. They called to you too, but you never heard. Now, perhaps. Who are you? And who are those men who frighten me now even as I speak of them? Don't you know? Can't you guess? No. Here. On this chain. I carry a mirror. John, look into it. What do you see? I see three faces. Those men. Beautiful faces. Yes, yes. Oh, but look now they are merging. There's only one face. One pair of deep and troubled dark eyes, hollow cheeks. And a still smiling mouth. It looks like. No. No, it can't be. What do you see? I see myself. In your mirror. Is it true? Is it? Yes. Yes, John. Years ago, when first you brought me here, you wanted to give to the world. You wanted to give poetry, harmony, color. Can you remember? Yes, I remember. These are the men that you were meant to be. The poet, the artist. You left them behind you to die. They are still alive here in this place. The shadow. The starved shadows of yourself. You grew older. You became John Doe. It. Businessman. You have nothing left to give to these men. Because it is wiser in the ways of your world not to give. Your world calls it success. And all the time, even as you forgot these men, even as you denied me, you knew that there must be something else. Yes. And remembering that is what has brought you here tonight. My voices and their voices would never let you forget. What is there for me to do? Nourish these men back to vigor. Take me back to your world. Oh, yes. Yes, I want to. More than anything else, I want to. Can you forget the huskwitches, John Doe? Businessman. Give me your hand. Maybe you'll go hungry for the joys of your will. Maybe success as you count it will be long and comfortable. Coming with me beside you. Let me touch your hand. Your world may denounce you, shrink from you, but after much toil, perhaps they will receive you. They will hear your music with awe. They will Sing your song with joy they will see your picture and smile with happiness. Is there no sureness? You are sure of me. Let me touch your hand. I'm falling away from you. Take her hand. I want to, but I'm falling. Falling. Let you fall. Let me come to you. I love you. Can you learn to give? Take my hand. Yes, here. Oh. Now that I hold you in my arms, Will you always remember the dream? The dream, the dream. The estate.
B
There is something else. Oh, don't let me go.
A
I'm falling. Don't let me fall away from you.
B
I'm lost.
A
Save me. Save me.
B
Save me.
A
Save me. Save me. Save me. Oh. Hello. What? Who? Well, how did you know I was here?
B
Oh, yeah, yeah.
A
Sure, sure. Put him on.
B
Hello? Oh, yes, yes.
A
Well, sure.
B
Get a hold of Hawkins and London right away. Tell him to sell the first block.
A
Oh, you bet.
B
We'll clean up a million.
A
Oh, nice work. I'll be down in a little while. Sure. All right. Wait for me.
B
You have just heard the fifth program of the Columbia Workshop's experimental series. Tonight we presented a technical demonstration. The March of the Molecules by Orestes H. Caldwell, former Federal Radio Commissioner. And a new radio play, There Must Be Something Else by Helen Bergavoy. The Columbia Workshop has a special treat in store for you next week when it will present another broadcasting innovation, a program preview. For the past three months, our program department has been working on a brand new, intriguing program idea. It features an all star radio combination, including Ted Husing, radio's greatest sports announcer and master of ceremonies, Emery Deutsch and his new augmented orchestra. And the surprise radio idea, which we believe contains all the infectiousness of Columbia's famous community sing and the enjoyable entertainment of radio's well known amateur hours. The Workshop is turning its stage over for a preview of this program. And you will have a chance to decide whether you would like to see this program idea continued as a series. Your votes will determine whether or not the program will start this fall. It will add greatly to your enjoyment of this new program idea. If you listen with a group of friends. Plan a party for next Saturday. And you will find this trial program an interesting contribution to the entertainment. And here's a tip. We can't tell you why without revealing too much of our surprise idea. But if you will have two prizes to award to your guests, one for high score and one for low score, it will give everyone at your home a lot of fun next Saturday night. Don't forget Ted Husing, Emery Deutch and his augmented Orchestra. And a new surprise idea will be previewed by the Columbia Workshop next Saturday night. At this time, the Columbia Workshop is directed by Irving Reed. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.
Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Columbia Workshop 36-08-22 – The March of the Molecules / There Must Be Something Else
Date: September 24, 2025
This special episode from Harold's Old Time Radio presents an authentic Golden Age radio double feature: first, a technical demonstration titled "The March of the Molecules" by Orestes H. Caldwell, explaining the science inside your radio; followed by the original dramatic radio play "There Must Be Something Else" by Helen Bergavoy, a story of a successful businessman confronting lost dreams and inner longings. The episode exemplifies the Columbia Workshop’s experimental radio programming of the 1930s, blending science, sound demonstration, and artistic drama.
Presenter: Dr. Orestes H. Caldwell
Timestamps: 05:00–11:10
Radio as a Marvel of Modern Science
Molecular Movement Within the Radio
Amplification and Sound Quality
Memorable Illustration
Timestamps: 11:11–27:43
Dinner at the Ritz: John Doe finalizes a major contract, encouraged to “do the town” in celebration.
Despite outward success, Doe remains disengaged, melancholic, and detached during the revelry.
Party scenes with Claire Clay (“She’s a honey”) and attempts to enjoy himself only deepen his sense of emptiness.
The refrain “there must be something else” recurs, voiced by both Doe and other characters, underlining existential dissatisfaction.
John’s Vision: Alone, Doe slips into a surreal dream—a staircase, mysterious figures, and beckoning voices.
Emotional Climax: The woman pleads with Doe to reclaim his artistic self, abandon material “husks,” and choose a path of giving and authenticity.
Dr. Caldwell's Science Imagery (05:27):
“Your receiver, looked at one way, is a machine with a hundred million moving parts. And yet it all operates silently as it converts the feeble little electrical impulses which ultimately become music and sound in your loudspeaker.”
On Regimentation of Iron Molecules (07:09):
“If the molecular soldiers refused to line up. Your radio set would be silent.”
Doe’s Existential Yearning (16:21):
“Yes, but there must be something else.” — John Doe
Revelation in the Dream (24:44):
“These are the men that you were meant to be. The poet, the artist. You left them behind you to die. They are still alive here in this place. The shadow. The starved shadows of yourself.”
This episode is a window into the ingenuity and ambition of early radio. With its inventive blend of technical wonder and human longing, it’s both an educational and emotionally resonant listening experience—reminding us of the artistry and imagination embedded within the historical era of radio broadcasting.