Day Of Infamy 1941-12-07 1900 - Jack Benny Show

Summary

Harold's Old Time Radio - Episode Summary: "Day Of Infamy 1941-12-07 1900 - Jack Benny Show"

Release Date: August 15, 2025

Overview

In this engaging episode of "The Jack Benny Show," listeners are treated to a blend of comedic interactions, theatrical performances, and timely wartime announcements. Set against the backdrop of December 1941, the show masterfully intertwines humor with subtle references to contemporary events, reflecting the societal mood of the time. This summary delves into the key segments of the episode, highlighting memorable exchanges and noteworthy moments.

Main Segments

1. Opening Banter and Snack Discussion (00:00 - 00:34)

   The episode kicks off with Jack Benny initiating a light-hearted discussion about the perfect snack, engaging Phil Harris and setting the stage for humorous exchanges. Phil emphasizes the importance of craving and convenience:

   Phil Harris (00:05): "It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient."

   The conversation humorously segues into product placements for AM PM, blending comedy with advertisement seamlessly.

2. "Jello Program" Advertisement Skipped

   As per the episode's structure, the advertisement segments, including the "Jello program" promoted by Mary Livingston, are omitted from this summary to maintain focus on the core content.

3. Jack Benny's Dramatics: "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" (02:53 - 07:00)

   A significant portion of the episode features Jack Benny discussing his latest dramatic performance as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The interplay between Benny and Mary Livingston reveals the humorous tension over his acting prowess:

   Mary Livingston (03:27): "I thought you played the part well enough, but I happened to see the picture and I didn't think you were as good as Spencer Tracy."

   Jack retorts with witty comebacks, showcasing his trademark humor:

   Jack Benny (04:12): "And don't call me Jack. From now on, you will please address me as Mr. Benny and I'll call you Mr. Wilson."

   Dennis Day and Rochester (Benny's valet) join the conversation, adding layers to the comedic exchange. Dennis praises Benny's performance, while Rochester provides a more critical perspective, highlighting the diverse opinions among the cast.

4. Christmas List and Character Dynamics (07:00 - 17:08)

   Transitioning into the festive season, Jack Benny entertains listeners with discussions about Christmas gifts. The segment underscores character relationships and personal quirks:

   Dennis Day (07:15): "Well, I'd like to have a nice gray suit with a pinstripe."

   The conversation shifts to Benny's past relationship with Gussie Bagelquist, revealing glimpses of his personal life with humor:

   Jack Benny (12:40): "Gussie? Oh, I went into vaudeville and she went away to veterinary colle."

   This segment not only provides laughs but also deepens the audience's understanding of Benny's character.

5. Introducing Mary Livingston's Sequel Play (16:34 - 17:08)

   Mary Livingston introduces a sequel to Jack's "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" play, titled "Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll." Jack initially resists but eventually agrees to participate:

   Mary Livingston (16:34): "And Jack, Jack, now get this. As a favor to me, I want you to play the leading part in this drama."

   The willingness to embrace new roles reflects the collaborative spirit of the show.

6. Mini-Play Performance: "Homer D. Hyde in Buffer Plate, Indiana" (17:22 - 20:57)

   Don Wilson presents a one-act play co-written by Mary Livingston, featuring Jack Benny as Homer D. Hyde. The comedic narrative revolves around Homer’s late-night antics and his interactions with family members:

   Homer D. Hyde (18:33): "I'm going to bask a night."

   As the play unfolds, physical comedy ensues when Jack dislocates his jaw, adding slapstick humor to the theatrical performance.

7. War Bulletin and Contemporary References (21:35 - 22:03)

   Don Wilson interjects with a serious war bulletin, reflecting the historical context of December 1941:

   Don Wilson (21:36): "The Japanese took over the American Shanghai Power and Light Company."

   This brief interruption serves as a poignant reminder of the ongoing global events during the show's airing.

8. Conclusion and Final Jokes (23:04 - 25:35)

   The episode wraps up with Jack Benny humorously teaching Dennis Day his signature "crazy laugh," leading to another bout of physical comedy as Jack's jaw slips back into place:

   Jack Benny (24:01): "What are you afraid of? That bear is as gentle as a lamb. He wouldn't bite you."

   The final interactions maintain the show's comedic momentum, leaving listeners with laughs as the episode concludes.

Notable Quotes

• Phil Harris (00:05): "It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient."
• Mary Livingston (03:27): "I thought you played the part well enough, but I happened to see the picture and I didn't think you were as good as Spencer Tracy."
• Jack Benny (04:12): "And don't call me Jack. From now on, you will please address me as Mr. Benny and I'll call you Mr. Wilson."
• Mary Livingston (16:34): "And Jack, Jack, now get this. As a favor to me, I want you to play the leading part in this drama."
• Jack Benny (24:01): "What are you afraid of? That bear is as gentle as a lamb. He wouldn't bite you."

Conclusion

"Day Of Infamy 1941-12-07 1900 - Jack Benny Show" offers a delightful mix of humor, character-driven interactions, and subtle nods to the historical context of its time. Through sharp wit and engaging performances, the episode not only entertains but also provides a snapshot of the societal sentiments during the early days of World War II. Jack Benny's impeccable timing and the camaraderie among the cast ensure that this episode remains a memorable piece from the Golden Age of Radio.

Transcript

[Jack Benny]

What do you think makes the perfect snack?

[Phil Harris]

Hmm, it's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient.

[Jack Benny]

Could you be more specific?

[Phil Harris]

When it's cravenient. Okay, like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter, available right down the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at a.m. p.m.

[Jack Benny]

I'm seeing a pattern here.

[Phil Harris]

Well, yeah, we're talking about what I.

[Jack Benny]

Crave, which is anything from AM PM.

[Phil Harris]

What more could you want?

[Don Wilson]

Stop by AM PM where the snacks.

[Phil Harris]

And drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravenience.

[Don Wilson]

AM PM Too much good stuff. We will interrupt all programs to give you latest news bulletins.

[Jack Benny]

Stay tuned to this station.

[Mary Livingston]

The Jello program brought to you by Jello and Jello Pudding starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with the gay ranchero. A convenient way to buy Jello, ladies and gentlemen, is to get several packages at a time and use them as you want them. And with the new Jello, you can do this without any fear that your supply of Jello will lose flavor and freshness as it stands on the pantry shelf. You can now buy a dozen packages of Jello at one time and know that they will all stay at the peak of their goodness until you want them. Because today, Jello's place flavor is locked in, locked into the jello particles by an exclusive Jello process. The tiny jello particles deliver their full strength flavor to you intact. Now prove it for yourself. Open a package of Jello. Notice that there's no telltale aroma, no sign of escaping fragrance and flavor. But the instant you dissolve the jello, you unlock its captive flavor and out it pours in all its original richness. Tomorrow, when you order Jello, order several packages, get all of Jello's six delicious flavors, and always have a full assortment on hand from which to choose. You can keep Jello as long as you please. Its flavor doesn't go away. We put it in and it's there to stay. That was a gay ranchero played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is my very great honor to bring you a man who last Sunday on this program gave you what was undoubtedly the finest performance of his acting career.

[Jack Benny]

That's right, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

[Mary Livingston]

So without further ado, I give you the only actor in America who can make Jekyll and Hyde sound like Brenda and Kobina.

[Dennis Day]

Jack.

[Jack Benny]

Hello again. This is Jack Benny talking. And Don, that May be your idea of a funny introduction. But to ridicule my performance of last Sunday which everyone hailed as a dramatic nugget that really burns me up.

[Mary Livingston]

Now, take it easy, Jack. I thought you played the part well enough, but I happened to see the picture and I didn't think you were as good as Spencer Tracy.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, you didn't? No. Well, Don, let me ask you something. Who signs your check every week? Spencer Tracy or the Benny goose that lays a golden egg pie? Take that as my thought for today.

[Mary Livingston]

But, Jack, you don't seem to understand.

[Jack Benny]

Now, when Spencer Tracy played the part.

[Mary Livingston]

There was a decided difference between both characters. But when you did it, I couldn't tell your Jekyll from your hide.

[Jack Benny]

Well, you can't tell your stomach from an. So what do you know about it? The fine pal you turned out to be.

[Mary Livingston]

Not Jack.

[Jack Benny]

And don't call me Jack. From now on, you will please address me as Mr. Benny and I'll call you Mr. Wilson. Is that clear?

[Mary Livingston]

Oh, I think you're being very childish about the whole matter. Absolutely childish.

[Jack Benny]

Don't try to bring my age down. Flattery won't help. Remember that, Mr. Wilson.

[Dennis Day]

Mr. Wilson. Who's Mr. Wilson?

[Jack Benny]

That hulk over yonder. Listen, Mary, you witnessed my performance last week. What did you think of it?

[Rochester]

Well, personally, I thought you were very.

[Dennis Day]

Good at Georgie Jessel.

[Jack Benny]

I wasn't Jessel. I was Jekyll. Dr. Jekyll.

[Rochester]

Well, in that case, boy.

[Jack Benny]

What do you mean, boy? I don't get it.

[Rochester]

All right, take the word lovely and fool around with us.

[Jack Benny]

Let's see. Lovely, lively. Lao. Lao. Mr. Benny to you. And let me remind you and Mr. Wilson of something that you both may have forgotten. When I switched from Dr. Jekyll to that horrible Mr. Hyde and that gruesome look came over my face, women in the audience screamed. One of them even fainted.

[Rochester]

Well, it won't happen today. They caught that mouse.

[Jack Benny]

Well, then I guess I can take these bicycle clips off my pants. However, as long as you and Don are in such a critical mood, I'd like to point out that Christmas is only 18 days away.

[Rochester]

Why else did you come in mad at everybody?

[Jack Benny]

All right, keep it up. Keep it up. You know, I already bought your Christmas present, young lady. But I may exchange it for something cheaper.

[Rochester]

Something cheaper?

[Jack Benny]

Yes.

[Rochester]

They don't dig a bargain basement that deep.

[Mary Livingston]

Well, you worked in more of them than I did.

[Jack Benny]

I can go along with a. Ouch. You do that once more, Miss Livingston, there'll be a. Oh, hello, Dennis.

[Dennis Day]

Hello, Mr. B. Gee, was that a.

[Jack Benny]

Performance you gave last week?

[Dennis Day]

Was that a performance?

[Jack Benny]

Well, thanks, Dennis. I'm glad you liked it.

[Dennis Day]

Not only me. My whole family thought you were wonderful.

[Jack Benny]

That's nice. I'm glad someone appreciated me.

[Rochester]

Listen, Jack, the trouble with you is the minute you do something halfway good, it goes right to your head.

[Dennis Day]

Mr. Benny was wonderful.

[Rochester]

Quiet. Why, to hear you talk, Jack, anyone would think you were the biggest ham in Hollywood.

[Dennis Day]

Oh, I'd like to see a bigger one, by golly.

[Jack Benny]

Well, thanks, Dennis. You tried anyway. You thought I was good.

[Dennis Day]

Oh, marvelous. What a performance.

[Jack Benny]

Well, look. Look, kid. I'm making up my Christmas list today. So before singing your song, how about throwing out a few hints? Now, what would you like Uncle Jack to get you?

[Dennis Day]

Well, I thought of a few things, but they're pretty expensive.

[Jack Benny]

Just name them. You're one person in this cast that deserves the best. Wait till I get my pencil here. Now, what do you want, Dennis?

[Dennis Day]

Well, I'd like to have a nice gray suit with a pinstripe.

[Jack Benny]

Okay, one gray suit with pinstripe. Anything else?

[Dennis Day]

Well, I'd love to have a grand piano to practice my songs on.

[Jack Benny]

Okay, one grand piano.

[Dennis Day]

Are you sure you got lead in that pencil, Mr. Benny?

[Jack Benny]

Yes, yes. Now, what else do you want, Dennis?

[Dennis Day]

Well, I've always wanted one of those toy birds on a stick. And when you swing it around your head, the bird go.

[Jack Benny]

Okay, one bird on stick. Now, what else do you want?

[Rochester]

I'll. Stop, will you? You're just trying to make Don and me jealous. Dennis isn't going to get all that stuff.

[Jack Benny]

Well, he's getting something he wants.

[Dennis Day]

Gee, I wonder what it is.

[Rochester]

I'll give you a hint, kid.

[Jack Benny]

Ross foil is supplied. For heaven's sake. Now, go ahead with your song, Dennis.

[Dennis Day]

Okay.

[Jack Benny]

Hold it a minute. Come in. Mr. Benny. Yes? I want to congratulate you on your performance as Mr. Hyde last week. I was so frightened. My hair stood on end. Your hair? What hair? Right there. Stand up, Herman. Oh, get out of here, Herman. Well, I suppose if you've only got one hair, you might as well have a name for it. Sing, Dennis.

[Dennis Day]

You are too much me everything, my life to be everything. When in my sleep you are here there s of people appear.

[Jack Benny]

Each time our lips touch again.

[Dennis Day]

I yearn for you all so much again. You are my favorite part. My heaven in heaven above. You are everything I love.

[Jack Benny]

The breathless hush of evening that trembles on the brink of a lovely sun.

[Dennis Day]

You are the angel. Blow that light upon the dearest things.

[Don Wilson]

I know Ladies and gentlemen, a special announcement. The entire regular personnel of the sheriff's and police office has been placed on a two platoon basis with 12 hour shift. All auxiliary personnel has been directed to stand by for emergency service instructions. The regular county defense program is functioning in an orderly manner and citizens are urged to remain calm and avoid all unnecessary confusion because of hysteria. Citizen volunteers are asked to go quietly to their nearest police or fire stations and offer their services if they wish to help. There is no immediate cause for alarm and coolness will accomplish more than anything else.

[Jack Benny]

That was a medley of Everything I love and all the things you are sung by Dennis Dave. Very good, Dennis. But what's the idea of singing two songs today?

[Dennis Day]

Well, Mr. Benny, I've got two girls and I thought I'd dedicate a number.

[Jack Benny]

To each of them. Two girls? That's modern youth for you. You know, Dennis, when I was your age, I was satisfied with only one girl. Gussie Bagelquist. Ah, Gussie was a dream. Yeah.

[Rochester]

Is that the girl you sued because she cut you with her buck teeth?

[Jack Benny]

I never sued her. I just told her to get a brace out. Anyway, I was talking to Dennis.

[Dennis Day]

Whatever happened to your girl, Mr. Benny?

[Jack Benny]

Gussie? Oh, I went into vaudeville and she went away to veterinary colle.

[Mary Livingston]

We sort of drifted apart.

[Jack Benny]

She's one of the biggest horse doctors in northern Illinois now. Doing very well too.

[Dennis Day]

Do you keep in touch with her, Mr. Benny? Do you ever write to her?

[Rochester]

Oh, once in a while when he has a cold or something.

[Jack Benny]

Yeah, I had a touch of the flu a couple of weeks ago and she sent me some pills that were as big as baseballs and some liniment to rub on my withers. One thing about Gussie, though, I never get a bill for from her. That's. Well, look who's here. Hiya, Jackson. How's my pal? Don't Jackson OR Pal me, Mr. Harris. Let me ask you something. Did you or did you not go into the Brown Derby after last Sunday's show and tell people that my acting was putrid last Sunday?

[Dennis Day]

Maybe I did.

[Jack Benny]

I say that lots of times. Well, you did. You told everybody at your table that I was very bad at Jekyll and Hyde. How do you know? Because I've got a waiter there that spies.

[Rochester]

Naturally, you couldn't tip a waiter just for waiting on you.

[Jack Benny]

Mary. That's a little arrangement between Andre and me.

[Dennis Day]

Yeah, I should have known that waiter was a spy.

[Jack Benny]

His mustache fell in my suit. He's wearing a false mustache. I told him not to overdo It. Anyway, Bill, you did run down my performance. Yeah, but I changed my mind about that. You know, I met one of the greatest dramatic actors in this town last night, and he said you were great.

[Mary Livingston]

Arson thought you were terrific.

[Dennis Day]

Who, Orson Welles? No, Orson Buggy. Ain't that a Lou.

[Jack Benny]

Well, ma', am, that settles it. If I don't get Glenn Miller in my stocking Christmas morning, I'll never write another letter to Santa. And incidentally, Mr. Harris, you better have a good excuse for coming in late today. Well, I'm sorry, Jackson, but I was out shopping. Say, Mary, you know what I'm getting Alice for Christmas this year now? What? A roadster.

[Rochester]

A roadster?

[Dennis Day]

Say, you know, for the oven.

[Jack Benny]

That's a roadster. Buys his wife a roaster for Christmas and calls it a roadster. All right, I'll put wheels on it. That's a Sharpie. Hey, Jackson.

[Dennis Day]

Sharpie.

[Jack Benny]

Copy Sharpie. Don't call me Jackson. I'm Mr. Benny to you and to everybody else on this program except Dennis.

[Dennis Day]

You mean I can call you Jack?

[Jack Benny]

Yes, until I make up with the others what burns me up. I worked my head off on that play last week and did a swell job.

[Dennis Day]

You sure did, Jack.

[Jack Benny]

And this little episode just shows me who my friends are.

[Dennis Day]

That's telling them, Jack.

[Jack Benny]

After all, I had to follow a pretty good actor in that part. Spencer Tracy. Why, I would never have even tried it if we both hadn't won the Academy Award. Wait a minute. When did you ever win the Academy Award? And another thing, I said, when did you ever win the Academy Award? And another thing.

[Dennis Day]

Answer my question.

[Jack Benny]

When did you win the Academy Award?

[Dennis Day]

I wish I had.

[Jack Benny]

Brother, would I have you in a spot. I guess that takes care of you.

[Dennis Day]

Who said it? Jackie?

[Jack Benny]

Look, Dennis, just Jack. Not Jack. Even a mint, she wants to take a whole foot. What a gang. I got a good mind to go home.

[Mary Livingston]

Oh, for goodness sake, Jack, will you stop acting like a baby? You ought to know, the whole thing was a rib.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, sure.

[Mary Livingston]

As a matter of fact, I liked your performance in Jekyll and Hyde so much that I wrote a sequel to it.

[Jack Benny]

Well, ain't you the fat little Noel Coward. Who cares what you wrote?

[Mary Livingston]

And Jack, Jack, now get this. As a favor to me, I want you to play the leading part in this drama.

[Jack Benny]

I'll tell him when he comes in.

[Mary Livingston]

You can keep your old sequel, but you've got to help me out. Jack, there's no one else in the cast with sufficient dramatic ability to handle it.

[Jack Benny]

Look, I'm not going to. Dramatic, eh? Well, well. All right, Don, I'll do it.

[Rochester]

I thought you were mad at him.

[Jack Benny]

Never mind.

[Rochester]

You'd go over Niagara Falls in a Dixie cup if someone told you it was dramatic.

[Jack Benny]

What's dramatic about a Dixie cup? Don, you say you've written a sequel to Jekyll and Hyde?

[Mary Livingston]

Yes, Jack, but my play is called Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll.

[Jack Benny]

Oh. Oh, well, that sounds interesting.

[Mary Livingston]

Here's the script.

[Jack Benny]

Thanks. Just second, Don. I'll give you a build up chord, please. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Don Wilson, that eminent American author has written another of his famous one act plays. Take it, Don.

[Mary Livingston]

The scene is the residence of Mr.

[Jack Benny]

And Mrs. Homer D. Hyde in the.

[Mary Livingston]

Thriving little town of Buffer Plate, Indiana. It is 7:30pm Curtain music.

[Rochester]

Oh dear, it's 7:30 and Homer isn't home yet.

[Dennis Day]

I wonder if his Orson buggy broke down.

[Rochester]

Gee, I hope it's one of his moods. Ah, here he comes. Good evening, Homer, dear. You're a little late, aren't you?

[Jack Benny]

All right, I'm late and I'll be late anytime I feel like.

[Rochester]

Aren't you going to kiss me, darling?

[Jack Benny]

Kiss me. Kiss me. Every night at kiss. I'll kiss you with this umbrella.

[Dennis Day]

Ouch.

[Jack Benny]

I'm going to bask a night.

[Rochester]

But Homer, you haven't even said hello to the twins, Otto and Blotto. Say hello to Daddy, children.

[Dennis Day]

Hello, Daddy. How old?

[Jack Benny]

Dower dad. Oh, shut up. Oh, shut. One more peep out of you kids and I'll kick your teeth out as soon as they grow in. I'm going to bed now.

[Rochester]

But Homer, darling, you haven't had your dinner yet.

[Jack Benny]

Dinner, dinner. Every night. Dinner. I don't want any dinner.

[Rochester]

But Homer, dear, at least have some dessert.

[Jack Benny]

What kind of dessert?

[Rochester]

I won't tell you, but I'm sure you like it. Here, have a dish.

[Jack Benny]

Very well, I'll try it. But if I eat it and decide I don't like it, someone will be dead. Murdered.

[Dennis Day]

Murder.

[Rochester]

He's eating the dessert. I do hope he likes it. If not, what will happen to me? And avo and blaho?

[Jack Benny]

Jeez. Oh boy.

[Rochester]

Homer. Homer, speak to me.

[Dennis Day]

Speak to me.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, my darling, that tasted so good. What is the name of that tempting and economical dessert with a new lock in process?

[Rochester]

Jello deer. And it comes in six delicious flavors.

[Dennis Day]

Strawberry raspberry jelly, orange wet and wine rice. On said last I love you.

[Jack Benny]

Well, John, congratulations. You wrote a wonderful play.

[Mary Livingston]

But Jack, without you it would have been impossible. You were even better than last Week?

[Jack Benny]

Oh, I wouldn't say that. Well, how about a band number, Bill? Okay. Dow D.

[Mary Livingston]

Oh, Liz, come in.

[Jack Benny]

Well, Mr. Benny, you did it again. Were you scared? Look at Herman. He just won't go down. What a head he's got. That's the only persimmon I ever saw with brown eyes. Play.

[Don Wilson]

Another war bulletin.

[Jack Benny]

Shanghai.

[Don Wilson]

The Japanese took over the American Shanghai Power and Light Company.

[Jack Benny]

This morning. A bulletin from New York.

[Don Wilson]

The Japanese news agency broadcast tonight the Japanese Foreign Minister Jinganori Togo summoned US Ambassador Joseph C. Gru and handed to him Japan's reply to Secretary of State Cordell Hull's terms for peace in the Pacific. This news came hours after the bombing of Honolulu.

[Jack Benny]

We return you now to Hollywood. That was Mango from Weekend in Havana, played by Blotto Harris. And that goes for the whole orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to announce that next week is a special attraction.

[Dennis Day]

Gee, Mr. Benny, I can't get over the way you played Mr. Hyde just now. Was that a performance?

[Jack Benny]

It thrilled you? Hey, Dennis, I'll say.

[Dennis Day]

That crazy laughter sent shivers right through me.

[Jack Benny]

Well, the kid's right, Jackson. How'd you ever learn to do that? Well, Phil, you just have to get into the mood and feel it. You have to imagine that you're Arabian Maniac.

[Mary Livingston]

When was the first time you ever.

[Jack Benny]

Did that crazy laugh, Jack?

[Rochester]

Last year, San Aniti lost three races in a row.

[Jack Benny]

Never mind.

[Rochester]

When they caught him, he was chewing down the grandstand like a beaver.

[Jack Benny]

Well, you'd be mad, too, so let's forget it. Now, as I started to announce, ladies and gentlemen, next week is a special attraction.

[Dennis Day]

You know, Mr. Benny, I'd like to learn how to do that laugh so I can scare my girlfriend.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, it's easy, Dennis.

[Dennis Day]

Yeah, we should show me how to do it, Mr. Benny.

[Jack Benny]

Oh, I don't. Come on, Jackson, do that laugh for us again. Well, look, Dennis, here's the way you do it. You've got to screw up your face and get it all distorted. Then you rip open your tie and shirt.

[Dennis Day]

Well, don't you have to muscle up your hair, Lou?

[Jack Benny]

My hair?

[Rochester]

You know, those three Hermans.

[Jack Benny]

That's not important. Anyway, Dennis, once you're in this mood, you read a menacing line and then laugh. Now, get this. I'm going out for a walk now. A nice long walk. And when I come back, someone will be dead. Murdered.

[Dennis Day]

Murdered.

[Jack Benny]

Ooh.

[Rochester]

What's the matter, Jack?

[Mary Livingston]

My jaw.

[Jack Benny]

My jaw flipped out of place.

[Dennis Day]

Look at her.

[Jack Benny]

His what?

[Dennis Day]

His jaw.

[Rochester]

His jaw slipped out of place.

[Dennis Day]

Get a doctor. Get a doctor. Hurry up. What a performance. Don't call that other lady, call my doctor. Ducky Bagelquist. Waukegan 8362. Not worse. I'm telling the trunk.

[Mary Livingston]

Now take it easy, Jack, Take it easy.

[Rochester]

Oh, it hurts.

[Dennis Day]

Just hold still, Jack, and I'll snap.

[Mary Livingston]

Your jaw back in place.

[Dennis Day]

All right, hurry up, Don.

[Mary Livingston]

Now brace yourself. Okay.

[Jack Benny]

Thanks, Don. Dennis, the next time you want me to show you something, wait till the program's over.

[Rochester]

Well, it's your own fault for showing off.

[Jack Benny]

I wasn't showing off, Phil. Well, I got a few left over from last week.

[Dennis Day]

Put those fish back in the piano.

[Jack Benny]

And now, ladies and gentlemen, as I started to announce before I dislocated my jaw, next week at a special attraction, the Benny Star Company is going to present. Oh, now What? Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny?

[Mary Livingston]

This is Rochester.

[Jack Benny]

What do you want?

[Dennis Day]

Boss, it's no use. I tried and tried and I can't.

[Jack Benny]

Get Carmichael to go to sleep. Rochester, that polar bear's got to go to sleep. He's supposed to have been in hibernation over 10 days ago. Uh huh. If Carmichael doesn't get to sleep by the middle of this month, it'll be a wreck in the spring. Where is he now? Sitting up in bed, reading Esquire. Esquire will take it away from him.

[Dennis Day]

Oh, come now, boss. He's been around.

[Jack Benny]

I mean, he's got to get to sleep. Now, Rochester, use a little. A little psychology on him. Give him some warm milk.

[Dennis Day]

Give him some warm milk, put on.

[Jack Benny]

His pajamas and brush his teeth. Would you mind repeating that slowly, please? I said give him some warm milk, put on his pajamas and brush his teeth.

[Dennis Day]

Watch her.

[Jack Benny]

What are you afraid of? That bear is as gentle as a lamb. He wouldn't bite you.

[Dennis Day]

He wouldn't, eh?

[Jack Benny]

No. Then why am I the largest single user of band AIDS in the usa? Rochester, listen. Carmichael doesn't hate you. He likes you. He likes everybody.

[Dennis Day]

Then what happened to the gas man?

[Jack Benny]

Nothing happened to the gas man. Carmichael doesn't eat people. You ought to see that. Lily wrote Santa Claus. What letter?

[Dennis Day]

Dear Santa, please send a fat boy.

[Jack Benny]

To read the meter. Oh, stop making things up. Now you keep Carmichael in bed and when I come home, I'll sing Rock a Bye Baby to him. That'll put him to sleep.

[Mary Livingston]

Okay, so long.

[Jack Benny]

So long. Oh, say, boss, now what? Are you coming home for dinner tonight? Yes. Well, that'll finish up the wild up. Good, good. So long. I gotta get that bear to sleep before Christmas or you'll want a present. Play Bill. Oh, my God.

[Mary Livingston]

Friends, while you're looking through the December magazines in search of an idea for Aunt Martha's Christmas present, keep an eye open for this month's Jello page. A full page of Jello treats illustrated in such rich, glowing colors that it makes your mouth water. Just. Just a look at it. One of the desserts is called Jack Benny Special Apricot Ring. And honestly, friends, I think it's just about the grandest looking dessert jello ever made. It's an easy recipe, too. Just dissolve one package of lemon jello and 1 and 14 cups of hot water. Next, add a dash of salt and 3/4 of a cup of syrup from the canned sliced apricots. Then chill until thickened and fold in two and a half cups of the sliced apricots themselves when molded. Serve with a garnishing of whipped cream, apricot quarters and green maraschino cherries. And there it is, a golden, glistening mold of juicy sliced apricots and sunny lemon jello candy. Picots and lemon jello are being featured by many grocers all next week, so get them both and make up this delicious treat. Jello makes any gelatin recipe taste extra good because it's locked in. Flavor gives you all the flavor always.

[Jack Benny]

This is the last number of the 10th program in the current Jello series, and we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Oh, Mary, you want to have dinner at my house tonight?

[Rochester]

No, thanks. I've had so much of that duck. I'm a bigger quack than Gussie.

[Jack Benny]

Don't pay any attention to her, Gussie. Good night, folks.

[Don Wilson]

Tomorrow, when you visit your grocers, look.

[Mary Livingston]

At the shelf where you always see.

[Don Wilson]

Those familiar packages of Jello. Right beside them or very near them, you'll spy another Jello product. Jello puddings in three grand flavors. Chocolate, vanilla and butterscotch. You might try Jell O Butterscotch pudding. It's as smooth as cream and simply full of rich, golden butterscotch flavor.

[Jack Benny]

A pudding that your whole family will.

[Don Wilson]

Want to enjoy again and again.

[Jack Benny]

So when you order Jell O, order.

[Don Wilson]

Jell O puddings, too. They're just like Grandma's, only more so. This is the National Broadcasting Company.