
Death Valley Days 19xx-xx-xx Dear Teacher
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Alex Gaynor
Howdy, folks. I'm the old Ranger and I have another interesting true story for you about the historic Death Valley country, the fabulous land where These products originated. 20U team Borax and Boraxo. Folks, we all wash our hands many times a day. But I want to show you how to do it the quicker, cleaner, modern way. With Boraxo, America's favorite Pollard hand soap. First wet your hand, then pour out a little Braxil and add a little more water. Look at those studs. Wash like that with Braxil and you'll get your hands twice as clean. Half the time that it leaves are nice and soft and smooth too. Every day, Braxo washes 22 million hands clean. Reading, writing and rithmetic. The three Rs. But in the mining camp school at New Behavi, which is the scene of this story I call Dear Teacher, there was a fourth R R for rupture and how.
Ms. Feathers
Quiet. Quiet. Stop it. Stop it. Six minutes. Quiet. Quiet in this room. Why, it.
Alex Gaynor
You young Hoover of your. Morning, Jim. Morning, Alex.
Ms. Feathers
Morning, Alex. Oh, God, you.
Alex Gaynor
Tomorrow they'll be back again in school. Oh, that's right. New teacher arriving, eh? On the very stage. Heavens help him.
Ms. Feathers
Yeah.
Alex Gaynor
How come you're the reception committee today? A man with no kids in school and you're not even married. Well, I happen to go to Cornell University and this fellow hails from there. Easterner, eh? Nobody around these parts would take the job. Reverend Feathers, class of 93.
Ms. Feathers
I'm Ms. Feathers.
Alex Gaynor
I'm not the new school teacher. Yeah, but the wire said. I mean, I thought, of course, that we expected a schoolmaster.
Ms. Feathers
The name is confusing. I'm always receiving letters addressed Dear Sir.
Alex Gaynor
Well, suppose we go. We can talk more easily. Which is your luggage?
Ms. Feathers
These three.
Alex Gaynor
By the way, my name is Alex Gaynor. I'm superintendent of the mill.
Ms. Feathers
How do you do? She won't weigh up half the gate.
Alex Gaynor
He won't even open school.
Ms. Feathers
Mr. Gainer is absolutely right. Be like throwing the Christians to the lions. The children can't be that bad.
Alex Gaynor
They've run seven teachers out of town already.
Ms. Feathers
Eight. You can count the notches on the desk. It's very kind of you to be so concerned about my welfare, but I can't go back now and I need the position. So, in spite of everything you say, I want to try the teaching of Ms. Predis, please.
Alex Gaynor
Could you have a room here with you, Ms. Dolly?
Ms. Feathers
Well, I don't usually sleep. Folks just eat them, but all right. Thank you.
Alex Gaynor
You have a Lot of courage. So did the early Christians.
Ms. Feathers
But the lions finished them just the same. Go on right in. I'll be with you in a minute. What does she look like? Tight size. You gonna break her spectacles? Tongue? She don't wear spectacles. She doesn't? But she's old, isn't she? Nope. She's young. Young and pretty. Pretty. Good morning. Good morning, dear teacher. Good morning, dear teacher. Good morning. The last three teachers left with only five legs and four eyes between them. Aren't you awful, Sam? We will begin with a morning prayer. Bow your head, please. Every morning mercies new fall as fresh as morning dew Every morning let us pay tribute through the early days for thy mercies, Lord, are sure Thy compassion doth endure Amen. Ah, women. We'll begin with taking the role. Then we'll arrange classes. Gladys Murtaugh. Pregnant. Put that railway, boy. Put that ball away, boy. We will proceed with a roll call. Thomas Ruggles.
Alex Gaynor
Here.
Ms. Feathers
Richard Sloat. Richard Sloane. Here. Jeannie Simmons. Present. You have a busy day, Mr. McMuin? Then you must be hungry.
Alex Gaynor
How do things go?
Ms. Feathers
Very nicely.
Alex Gaynor
I was thinking of you all day. Nicely?
Ms. Feathers
I think they're going to be an interesting group to work with. Stimulating.
Alex Gaynor
That's a new word for it.
Ms. Feathers
And most responsive.
Alex Gaynor
You mean you had no trouble with them?
Ms. Feathers
They fall in the initial approach.
Alex Gaynor
Do you hear that, Ms. Dody? They behave just like a cat playing with a mouse.
Ms. Feathers
Just wait. Potato.
Alex Gaynor
If I were you, I'd arm myself with a ruler. A good big one.
Ms. Feathers
Oh, I couldn't strike a child. Mr. Gaynor, I'd like to speak to the teacher. What is it? You know very well what it is. You couldn't keep a thing like that a secret very long. She threatened the children with a gun. A gun? Oh, no. Oh, yes. Gladys came home and told me. Fired at. What's my point? Blank. I was just trying to break up a ball game. The boys wouldn't stop, so I aimed at the ball.
Alex Gaynor
And what did you hit?
Ms. Feathers
The ball, of course. In midair.
Alex Gaynor
Well, I'll be everlasting. We got an Annie Okley with us.
Ms. Feathers
Lettuce was still shaking with fright. Poor lamb. I'm sorry, but I'm sure there won't be an occasion to do it again. There had better not be, or we shall take our children out of school. School. Morning, sonny. I know it isn't the proper thing to do, but in a case as serious as this, I would suggest that you. I've already looked. It isn't in her room, is it?
Alex Gaynor
No.
Ms. Feathers
Are you sure? Positive. Then she's taken it to school and she'll use it on the slightest provocation. That's a dangerous woman for you. If I was you, I wouldn't have an easy moment with her under the same roof. We bring you something, Ms.
Alex Gaynor
Prince.
Ms. Feathers
A present. Cartridges. Oh, dear me. We bring you these secrets on a shooting match for us. You brought me these so I could put on a shooting match for you? Yes, that's why we brought them. Will you teacher, please? Certainly not. At least sir let you shoot this out of a mouse. Teacher, no. Oh, Ms. Prentice, this is a school, not a shooting gallery. We've got lessons to learn selling geography. We'll learn them on it. All right, you do and then we shoot. When? How soon? Well, see the end of each week. But only for those who behave themselves and gotten good marks. Now pass out the study books and we'll get to work. And she has a whole deck full of ammunition. Isn't that so, Gladys? Boxes and boxes of thought.
Alex Gaynor
Makes me wish I was back in school again. Why our old cross eyed school teacher couldn't have hit the side of a park.
Ms. Feathers
Don't you ever take anything seriously, George? Suppose she suddenly decided to point out gun beside it?
Alex Gaynor
She won't. Gladys behaves herself.
Ms. Feathers
She's got an awful funny look in her eyes. I think she's kind of crazy. Do you hear that, George? She might go berserk.
Alex Gaynor
Now don't start using words I can't understand. Do you remember I didn't get beyond the fifth grade. Maybe she'll hold evening classes for blokes like me.
Ms. Feathers
Sometime. Yeah, I know. There's a lot of rabbit and quail too. I'll bet you wouldn't miss a one. Thank you, boys. See you tomorrow morning, bright and early. Hello.
Alex Gaynor
Got a meeting out of your hand with your little gun, haven't you? You know they didn't give courses and markingships to coeds when I went to Cornell.
Ms. Feathers
It was my father who taught me. He used to take me out to the lake on Saturdays. We practiced for hours.
Alex Gaynor
That's funny for a girl.
Ms. Feathers
She'd always hoped for a son. That's how I got the name I did.
Alex Gaynor
Heaven. Well, if you had been, you wouldn't have been here now.
Ms. Feathers
No, I'd be back home trying to help. Probably some of his son to crash. He lost everything in the panic last summer.
Alex Gaynor
Oh, sorry.
Ms. Feathers
That's why I'm so grateful for this opportunity. There aren't many openings for teachers middle of the year.
Alex Gaynor
Well, I'm I'm sure you'll make good.
Ms. Feathers
I hope so.
Alex Gaynor
I'll help you any way that I can.
Ms. Feathers
Thank you. I need friends.
Alex Gaynor
Pal.
Ms. Feathers
What are you doing with Unfile? None of your business. You saw him to the jet rack?
Alex Gaynor
No.
Ms. Feathers
Then what?
Alex Gaynor
Ah, shut up.
Ms. Feathers
Don't come tagging after us. Why not? Cause we don't want you. Savvy? Maybe it was a different tin cans too.
Alex Gaynor
Too easy.
Ms. Feathers
Even Fals ain't much of a target.
Alex Gaynor
For a shot like her.
Ms. Feathers
Come next Saturday, we'll turn them up way off in the back bin and stick panels in them and let teacher put them out one by one. Yeah. Ping. Ping. What does a person's breath smell like when they've been drinking? Smell? Your father's sometime.
Alex Gaynor
Well, I like that.
Ms. Feathers
I thought so.
Alex Gaynor
What do you mean, you thought so?
Ms. Feathers
It's just like her smells. Who? The teacher. Ms. Pretty. Ms. Preget. George, did you hear that?
Alex Gaynor
Oh, I don't believe it.
Ms. Feathers
It's Gladys thistle.
Alex Gaynor
Children imagine things.
Ms. Feathers
Of course, it could have been in that Brella bottle she was hiding. Where? In the Silver School. You saw her? Please, Ma, I'm trying to do my selling. Going over to Miss Dohey's for a few minutes. Some more pride, Mr. McEwen.
Alex Gaynor
Say it again, Miss Packet, so we can learn.
Ms. Feathers
Multiplication is vexation. Division is as bad. The rule of three perplexes me and vaccination. I just learned something more about our dear teacher. She drinks. Drinks? Gladys saw her hiding the bottles. Well, I never. George refuses to get excited, but I think it should be investigated. Certainly should. Will you go with me right now? Don't like grand schedule, General Grant. There's a whole bunch of them in there. You don't suppose that they could have been left there by some of her predecessors? Oh, no. Daddy saw her putting him there. She must have been having regular orgies this episode. She'll have to go. A school teacher who packs a gun and drinks. I'll certainly need a petition among the parents. The moment naturally won't be necessary. Mention it to the men and I shall give her notice to vacate her room. You mean I'm going to have to find another place to live? That's what I said. I don't understand. You will before the day is up. Come on, Gladys. I'm going to school with you this morning, Mama. I don't feel very good all of a sudden. What's the matter? I've got a headache and a sore throat. Maybe I better not go to school this morning. Not if you're coming down with something I hate to miss you don't matter much.
Alex Gaynor
George. I'm going to drive over to Ruby Valley with those engineers from Denver. I won't be back till evening. Well, I'll tend to things. Well, school's still keeping. Why not? I understand they're having some trouble for women. Folks are up in arms about the teacher, that ridiculous gun business. More than that, there's talk about. Well, there's some claim she tickled. That's a lie. I don't believe it myself. But you know how women are once a rumor gets started. Who started the rumor? Search me. Well, I'll make it my business to find out as soon as I get back.
Ms. Feathers
Bow your head. Every morning mercies new fall as fresh as morning dew Every morning let us pay tribute to the early day for thy mercies, Lord, are sure Thy compassion doth endure AMEN Good morning, Mrs. Murtaugh. I hope Gladys isn't sick. I know that she is, but that's not why I'm here. I think this document will explain itself. What in the world. We'll begin with penmanship this morning. Take out your pencil tablets. Children. Children. Children. There will be no school this afternoo. Is Mr. G?
Alex Gaynor
He's away out of town. Oh, hi, Ms. Foreman. Anything I can do for you?
Ms. Feathers
No.
Alex Gaynor
Is there any message you'd like to leave?
Ms. Feathers
I'm afraid not.
Alex Gaynor
Was something wrong? Oh, I say.
Ms. Feathers
And fit to teach the young. What do they mean? What do they mean?
Alex Gaynor
No, don't upset yourself.
Ms. Feathers
It's so awful. My first position. I'll never be able to get another.
Alex Gaynor
There, there, now. We'll straighten it out. Don't you fret. It's easier.
Ms. Feathers
There isn't anything you stop at. Is Ms. Prennett teacher. It'll be a week tomorrow, and we've behaved ourselves. Yan studied hard. I can name the test notes. Of all the saints. Boys, I'm sorry. Oh, but you promised. Ms. Prentice. I won't be here tomorrow. I'm leaving. Leaving? You mean for good? There won't be no shooting match. Why, what's happened? I can't explain it, but that's the way it's. Is she really leaving?
Alex Gaynor
And she bought a ticket.
Ms. Feathers
Where's she going?
Alex Gaynor
What for? Oh, Crisp.
Ms. Feathers
Why she leaving all of a sudden?
Alex Gaynor
Oh, don't act so darn innocent. It's all you kids fault. You drove her to drink.
Ms. Feathers
That ain't so.
Alex Gaynor
Miss Pretty don't drink. No. Well, they found the evidence. Why don't he? In the frame School stove.
Ms. Feathers
Bottle those of our bottle. How they know? They were there.
Alex Gaynor
Glad she met us, remember?
Ms. Feathers
I'll bet she followed us. Little sneak. Yeah, them blamed it on mispriced just to start something. He just like her. Come on. What is it, Tony? Please tell me.
Alex Gaynor
No, sir.
Ms. Feathers
It's a surprise.
Alex Gaynor
Just wait, you'll.
Ms. Feathers
Honey says you got something for me. What is it? A rattlesnake. Here. The tongue's going to be split and every little God and founder they'll have a little bit. You've seen us put those bottles in the stone study with the teaching. No, no, I didn't. I didn't see you put them in there. I never said it worse. You tell the truth or I'll let this out. You wouldn't. You're just boy. You think so? Oh, no. Then fess up quick. You did spy him? Yes. Yes, I did. Go let it out. And you made him think it was Ms. Printer. Yes, I. Go come behind the wood box. We'll get it later. He ain't finished with gladish yet.
Alex Gaynor
Where's Ms. Pettis? I don't know. She came by the express depot and asked me to pick up her bag. Miss Toady here? No, she's gone over to Murto.
Ms. Feathers
You were my child, Gladys Murtaugh. I'd take you over my knee and beat the stuffings out of you. Her father will take care of her when he comes home. Here he comes now. Oh, Mr. Gaynor.
Alex Gaynor
Where is she? Where's Miss Predis?
Ms. Feathers
Over to school.
Alex Gaynor
Getting attained of other cruel, unwarranted.
Ms. Feathers
You can save your breath, Mr. Gaynor. We know the truth now. Gladys has just confessed. And what's more, she's going with us right now and apologize. We all owe an apology. Come on, Mr. Gainer.
Alex Gaynor
I'll tell you all about it on the way over.
Ms. Feathers
I'm sorry. I like Ms. Prentice. I'll never do it again. Ask her to forgive you. Forgive me? Don't move, Daddy. Don't make a sound, baby. A bullseye. Shove the head clean off of it. Gee, we got our shooting match. Let me pick it up and throw it to this credit. Oh, please don't. I can't even stand to look at a snake. What she needs is a good stiff drink. I could use one myself.
Alex Gaynor
From that time on, they dropped the R4 ruption from the Ubehebe school curriculum. And indeed from the whole community as far as dear teacher was concerned. Now I think you'll get a smile out of this young couple.
Ms. Feathers
Oh, no, you don't. Not with those dirty hands. You come along and horse them.
Alex Gaynor
But I did what you horse them with. So what else?
Ms. Feathers
What else? Now that I have your ear, let me introduce you to Baro. Potted hand soap. Oh, no. Let your hands burn. And now you pour on some brass. Add a little more water. Now look at this fence.
Alex Gaynor
Hey, that'll roll the dirt out.
Ms. Feathers
The boraxo gets out ground in dirt the plain folks can't reach. Hands get twice as clean in half the time. With borax.
Alex Gaynor
Folks, I'll be back on the same station with another true story of Death Valley days two weeks from now. And until then, I'll say, so long.
Ms. Feathers
And remember, clean clothes, my job, clean hands.
Alex Gaynor
That's me.
Ms. Feathers
Sam Sa.
Podcast Information:
The episode opens with Alex Gaynor, the narrator and superintendent of the mill, setting the stage for a compelling story set in the mining camp school of New Behavi. He introduces the concept of the "fourth R"—rupture—in addition to the traditional reading, writing, and arithmetic.
Notable Quote:
"The three Rs. But in the mining camp school at New Behavi, which is the scene of this story I call Dear Teacher, there was a fourth R R for rupture and how."
— Alex Gaynor [00:28]
Ms. Feathers, the new teacher, arrives at the school amidst skepticism from both the superintendent and the existing community. Her unconventional background and lack of familial ties to the area raise eyebrows among the faculty and parents.
Key Interactions:
Notable Quote:
"I've got another interesting true story for you about the historic Death Valley country... what is it? You know very well what it is."
— Alex Gaynor [04:24]
Ms. Feathers attempts to establish authority in her classroom, leading to tension among the students and faculty. Her strict demeanor and unconventional teaching methods begin to create unrest.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
"The last three teachers left with only five legs and four eyes between them."
— Ms. Feathers [04:46]
A pivotal moment occurs when Ms. Feathers threatens the students with a gun to disperse a disruptive ball game. This alarming act raises serious concerns about her mental stability and suitability as an educator.
Detailed Account:
Notable Quote:
"I aimed at the ball."
— Ms. Feathers [10:29]
Rumors about Ms. Feathers' drinking habits and violent tendencies begin to circulate. Parents and fellow educators become increasingly alarmed by her unpredictable behavior, leading to discussions about her potential removal from the school.
Key Developments:
Notable Quote:
"She drinks. Drinks? Gladys saw her hiding the bottles."
— Ms. Feathers [16:29]
The climax unfolds as the community, led by Ms. Feathers' husband, confronts her about her misconduct. Faced with undeniable evidence and community pressure, Ms. Feathers admits her faults and decides to leave, bringing an end to the turmoil she caused.
Final Events:
Notable Quote:
"I'm sorry. I like Ms. Prentice. I'll never do it again."
— Ms. Feathers [25:00]
In the aftermath, the school community moves forward without the disruptive influence of Ms. Feathers. The superintendent reflects on the lessons learned, emphasizing the resilience of the community in overcoming challenges.
Final Thoughts:
Notable Quote:
"From that time on, they dropped the R4 ruption from the New Behavi school curriculum. And indeed from the whole community as far as dear teacher was concerned."
— Alex Gaynor [26:03]
The episode concludes with a brief nod to the ongoing themes of community and resilience, leaving listeners with a sense of closure and anticipation for future stories.
Final Quote:
"So long."
— Alex Gaynor [27:08]
Overall Insights: "Dear Teacher" serves as a gripping narrative exploring themes of authority, community dynamics, and the impact of individual actions on a tight-knit community. Through its dramatic storyline and well-developed characters, the episode offers listeners a vivid portrayal of life in Death Valley's mining camp school, highlighting the challenges and triumphs of maintaining order and integrity in the face of adversity.