Dimension X - Childs Play - #38

Summary

Dimension X – "Child's Play" (#38)

Podcast: Harold's Old Time Radio
Date: May 6, 2026
Original Air Date: July 1, 1950 (NBC, Dimension X)
Source Story: "Child's Play" by William Tenn (adapted by George Lefferts)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Dimension X dives into a classic science fiction conceit: what if the tools of tomorrow fell into the hands of the present? "Child’s Play" explores how an ordinary, downtrodden man’s life changes after receiving a futuristic "Build-A-Man" kit intended for children from the year 2145 A.D. The kit doesn't just let him build simple creatures—it allows him to create human duplicates, raising questions of identity, self-worth, and the consequences of unchecked ambition.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Breakdown

1. Set-Up: Sam Weber’s Ordinary Life

• Sam Weber introduces himself as a successful attorney, but recalls his previous state as a timid, “sickly, nearsighted” man (01:28).
• The big change begins in 1945 with a mysterious package delivery—an odd box addressed “To Sam, from your classmates at the Interdimensional and Cosmic Institute. Merry Christmas. 2145 A.D.” (02:49).
• Notable Quote:

  “Holy jumping catfish!” – Mr. Ojack, reacting to the date on the card (02:49).

2. Discovery of the Build-A-Man Set

• Sam opens the box to find a bizarre, futuristic science kit labeled for children aged 11-13, with instructions for building "complete adult humans" (03:34).
• The set comes with detailed instructions—chapters include “Making Simple Living Things”, “Duplicating Babies”, etc.
• Notable Quote:

  “‘Build-A-Man set number three… enables the child to build and assemble complete adult humans in perfect working order.’” – Read aloud from the instruction book (03:53).

3. Sam’s Struggles: Love and Career

• Sam's career stagnates and his romantic interest, Tina Velvet, is being courted by his rival, Lou White (06:23–06:35).
• After another humiliating day, Sam goes home to experiment with the kit, eventually creating a small living creature—a “rubicular oyster hog, a cross between a field mouse and an oyster” (08:40).
• Memorable Moment:

  Sam’s creature escapes, foreshadowing the potential consequences of his careless experiments (09:04).

4. Duplicating Himself: The Birth of ‘Sad’

• Lonely and desperate after Tina’s engagement to Lou, Sam considers using the kit to make a better version of himself—one with “zip” (13:23–14:30).
• He creates an uninhibited, confident duplicate, who suggests the original be called “Webber” and himself “Sad” (14:53).
• Notable Quote:

  “Let’s get one thing straight—I live my life and you live yours. You got that?” – Sam’s duplicate asserting independence (15:07).

5. The Duplicate’s Rise (and Sam’s Fall)

• ‘Sad’ usurps Sam’s clothes and place, attending Lou and Tina’s engagement party (16:17).
• At the party, he dazzles Tina and confronts Lou, resulting in a physical altercation and winning Tina’s affections (17:04–18:11).
• Memorable Moment:

  “You seem different somehow, even your voice." – Lou White noticing the change in Sam (17:08).

6. The Showdown: Identity and Consequences

• The original Sam contemplates using the ‘disassemblator’ to eliminate his duplicate (18:32–19:13).
• Before he can act, a mysterious, menacing Census Keeper arrives—explaining the kit was delivered 200 years too early due to a time warp (21:18).
• The Census Keeper must decide which Sam should remain; he decides in favor of ‘Sad’, as the original is too unstable (22:21–22:53).
• Notable Quote:

  “Time, as with all things, is relative. We shall have to recover the set… Meanwhile, the problem is: which of you two gentlemen is the original Sam?” – Census Keeper (21:56).

7. Resolution: A New Beginning

• The original Sam is "dismantled" and packed away (23:02).
• ‘Sad’ survives, marries Tina, and achieves career success—ending with a jokey reference to their three “conuplications” (children) (23:02).
• Notable Quote:

  “Within 10 seconds, the old Sam Weber had been completely dismantled and packed into the box. Tina and I were married… and we have 1, 2, 3 little conuplications.” – Sam (23:02).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Atomic Age Knowledge:

  “In these times, even a child knows the meaning of atomic fission, jet propulsion… What will the child of the future know?” – Narrator (00:41)

• On Transformation:

  “Only with Build A Man can you Build A Man…” – Sam, obsessed with the manual (04:57).

• On Self-Improvement:

  “We oughta just tear you down and start all over again.” – Sam admonishing himself (13:23).

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Important Timestamps

• 00:41: Narrator introduces the possibility of future children treating miracles of science as toys.
• 03:53: Sam reads the now-infamous "Build A Man" instructions.
• 08:40: Sam creates his first living creature (the oyster hog); it escapes.
• 14:30: Sam vitalizes his duplicate.
• 16:50–18:11: Party scene where the duplicate Sam outshines Lou and wins Tina.
• 21:18: Census Keeper arrives and explains the time travel mishap.
• 23:02: Final resolution; original Sam dismantled; ‘Sad’ tells his story.

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Tone and Language

• The episode is laced with dry irony, light self-deprecation, and satirical takes on ambition and the notion of self-improvement.
• Characters use snappy, post-war American banter, especially during workplace and romantic rivalries.

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Conclusion

"Dimension X – Child's Play" cleverly blends light humor, science fiction’s love for unintended consequences, and a reflection on how personal inadequacy can inspire both creation and destruction. The protagonist’s journey—from loser to improved duplicate—invites listeners to ponder the nature of identity, self-worth, and the perils of technological power in the hands of the unprepared.

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For more golden age radio sci-fi, tune in weekly to Harold's Old Time Radio and explore these timeless tales.

Transcript

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[Dimension X Narrator]

Adventures in time and space transcribed in future tense

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

dimension acts axe.

[Dimension X Narrator]

The National Broadcasting Company, in cooperation with street and Smith Publishers of Astounding Science Fiction bring you Dimension X. In these times, even a child knows the meaning of atomic fission, jet propulsion and electronic transmission. What we ask ourselves will the child of the future know? What of the time when science unlocks the secret of life itself? Could it be that one day such things as constructing human life or passing back and forth from one dimension to another will become mere child's play?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

My name is Sam Weber. I'm an attorney, and a pretty successful one if I do say so myself. My wife Tina and I live in a comfortable 12 room place up in Westchester. Now, I've read a lot of Horatio Alga stuff in my time and so have you, probably. But I'll bet you've never heard anything quite as spectacular as my story. Maybe you won't believe it, but I used to be a completely different guy. Frightened, sickly, nearsighted. A real Mortimer Meek. No kidding. That was five years ago. The big change in me began to take place on a cold December morning in 1945.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Just a moment, please. Yes, please.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Weber.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Yes, Samuel.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

That's right.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Step back.

[Census Keeper]

Okay, fellas, bring it in.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, just a moment. You must have the wrong address.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Watch it, buddy. All right, sign here.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Is that for me?

[Census Keeper]

Weber Apartments.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Looks like a coffin.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

I don't design them, Jack, I just deliver them. Sign here. After much straining, I wasn't in very good physical shape those days. I managed to push the box under my single light bulb. There was a card in the small envelope.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

See? To Sam, from your classmates at the Interdimensional and Cosmic institute. Merry Christmas. 2145 A.D. holy jumping catfish. Hey, mister. There must be some mistake.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Hey.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Holy jumping catfish.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

They were gone and I didn't even know which delivery company it was. Well, I finally decided to open it up and see what was in it. After about a half hour of fumbling, I gave up.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

All right, then, don't open.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

No sooner had I said the word open than it came apart like the skin off a banana. There inside was something resembling a kid's chemical set. Vials, jars, tubes, wires. You never saw so much scientific looking junk in your life. And on top of it all was a book of instructions.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Build a man set number three. This set is intended solely for uses of Children between the ages of 11 and 13. The equipment will enable the child to build and assemble complete adult humans in perfect working order. A disassembled is provided so the set may be used over again. Refills and additional parts may be acquired from the build a man company. 928 diagonal level, glunt City, Ohio. Remember, only with Build A Man can you Build A Man.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

When I left for work that morning, my brain was still reeling with the stuff I'd read in the instruction book.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Thomas has an Ojack at hearing his law. Just a moment. I will connect you with Mr. Ojack. Oh, good morning, Mr. Weber.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Good neuron. I mean, good morning. Gotta get my mind off that book.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Only with Build A Man can you Build A Man. Chapter one, Making Simple Living Things. Chapter two, Duplicating Babies and Other Small

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Humans on the Hall. I've got to get a grip on myself, do a little work. O' Brien versus o'. Brien. Martin versus The City of New York. Oh, it must have been a dream. Probably go home tonight and find the place empty.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Well, well, well, if it isn't a poor man's. Clarence Darrell.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, hello, Lou.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

I come as a bearer of sad tidings.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Well, you don't look very sad.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

The boss wants to see you, laughing boy.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

What about?

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

How should I know? Oh, and by the way, you'll be very happy to know that I've just been promoted. I'm handling all the criminal stuff from now on.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Congratulations.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

You know what this means for Tina and me, don't you, Junior? Oh, well, cheer up. Tina's not for you anyway.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Some got it, some don't.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

I got it, you don't.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

So long, laughing boy. That was my good friend, Lou White. In the year I'd known him, he'd already managed to steal a job I wanted, and he was now working on the girl I wanted. Her name was Tina. Tina Velvet.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Good morning, Sam.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, good morning, Tina. My, you look good enough to. Yeah, Take to lunch.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Oh, I'm sorry, Sam, but I promised Lou.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, sure.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

I hope you're not too disappointed.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Me? Oh, no, no. Some got it, some don't. I don't.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

And that was Tina. I tried to steady my blood pressure as I walked into the boss's office.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

You sent for me, Mr. Ojack?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Oh, yes. Sit down, Weber. Sit down.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, thank you, Mr. Ojak.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Weber, I've been reviewing the work of my staff counselors for the past six months. I want to know only one thing.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Yes, sir. What happened? I don't understand.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

You haven't Had a single new client

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

in six months, but no one has come in. Mr. O.J.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

my boy, in this business, you've got to be aggressive. You've got to go out and create new clients. You've got to show some zip.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Yes, sir?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Do you have any zip?

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, yes, yes, Mr. Ojack.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Oh, I've got zipper.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

I. I just can't seem to turn it loose, that's all.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Well, get in there and punch. Now, Weber, I want to see a change in you in the next few months. As a matter of fact, I'd better. You got that?

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Yes, Mr. Rojak. I'll. I'll try to show some zip.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

I left the office early and went home. Sure enough, there it was, my build, a man set gleaming, a little obscene in the corner. I walked over to it, gave it

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

a kick and hollered, open sesame.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Three minutes later, I was flopped down

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

in bed reading chapter one, Making Simple Living Things.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

An hour later, I was fooling around with such complicated items as the Junior Bio Calibrator, which measured everything from blood pressure to hemoglobin content, and the Jiffy Vitalizer, which was actually supposed to put life in your creation, providing you had followed instructions carefully. At 8:30, I made my first simple living thing.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Here, boy.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Here.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

A boy? Oh, maybe you aren't a boy. Oh, let's see. According to the book, you are a rubicular oyster hog. Not much to look at, but I made you me, Sam Weber, attorney at law. I have created life. Hey, come back here. Come back here, boy. Here, boy.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Hey, hey, hey. It was no use. My rubicular oyster hog, which was a cross between a field mouse and an oyster, had run out under the door and into the world. I was about to take off after it when there was a knock on my door. It was Mrs. Lepante, my landlady.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, hello, Mrs. Lepante.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

I heard a noise.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, just rehearsing a speech I have to make in court. You were squeaking bad throat.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Oh, by the way, there was a gentleman looking for you this afternoon.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

A gentleman?

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Yeah, a tall old man in a black overcoat. Kind of nasty. When I told him he wasn't in, he wanted to go up to your room. Tell you I showed him the way out in a hurry.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, thanks, Mrs. Lepanti.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Probably a bill collector.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Yeah, well, I gotta run. Oh, good morning, Sam. Here's that memo on Rosenthal vs Rosenthal. And also a letter for you. What's the matter? You look tired.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Well, I had a bad night.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Your lumbago again?

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Yes, yes.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Oh, say, by the Way, your client was here again this morning.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Client?

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Mm.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, it must be the same fella that called at my house the other day. Well, what did you tell him?

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

I said you'd be in later.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh. Thanks.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Will that be all, Sam?

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Yes. No. No. Are you doing anything New Year's Eve?

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Oh, Sam, you haven't even noticed.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Notice what?

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

The ring, silly. Third finger, left hand.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

What?

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Lou gave it to me. Isn't it simply gigantic?

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

But you. You're not.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

We're gonna be married as soon as Lou finishes his next case. Lou is so sharp and businesslike.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

So is a guillotine, Sam.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

After Lou gave me the ring last night, I. I began thinking how. Well, how I used to hope that it would be you. But. Well, then I realized you'd never have the money. And, well, a girl has to think of things like a good steady income and a husband.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

With zip.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Yes, with zip.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Well, Lou has plenty of zip. I'm sure you'll be very happy zipping around with each other.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Oh, Sam.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Well, Sam.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Hey, hey, what's going on in here, honey? Is this little baboon giving you any trouble? If he has, I'll take him apart like an egg crate.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

No, no, no. Take it easy, Strongheart. Hina just told me the good news about your engagement. She's crying with happiness.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Is that right, honey? Well, then, no hard feelings, Sam. Just that the best man got the girl. You understand. Oh, say, by the way, we're having a little celebration at Sigales tonight. Drop in and we'll live it up a little.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

I went home feeling like a man who has been stuffed into a washing machine with the dial set, it rinsed dry. I was a failure. I walked over to the mirror for a heart to heart talk with myself.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Nothing. That's what you've got, Sam Weber in unlimited quantities. Nothing.

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[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

What is this, your first date?

[VRBO/Liberty Mutual Advertiser]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.

[VRBO/Liberty Mutual Advertiser]

Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

We oughta just tear you down and start all over again. We ought to take you.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Hey.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, no, no. Not that again. But why not? Think of it. A Sam Weber without the psychological problems. You've got a dynamic, uninhibited Sam who could win a girl like Tina by sheer magnetism. Then when it was all over, we could just take the old disassemblator and presto. And I can do it too. Chromosome content. Check cerebral content. Maybe a little more ID And a little less super Eagle. Limbs, eyes, hair. General endocrine reaction. Well, here goes. It's moving. Holy mackerel.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

It's alive.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

It's getting up.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Say, I feel great.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, no, no, no. Take it easy. Do you know who you are?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Of course I do. I have all the thoughts you ever had up until the point I was vitalized. My brain is an exact duplicate of yours. Except that I'm not all blocked up psychologically.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

It said in the instruction manual you'd be uninhibited.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Say, this is all right. Oh, by the way, since we both have the same name, it'll simplify things. If I call you Webber, I'll be sad.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, no. Now, look here. I'll make the decision.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

How would you like a good punch in the nose?

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Well, is that any way to talk to your own parent?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

I did create you, you know. Don't think I don't appreciate it, Webber, old man. But let's get one thing straight. I live my life, and you live yours. You got that? Who pays the rent? You do. For a while, anyway. I haven't decided whether or not I want to stay in the law business.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

The law business?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

I may want to spread out a little. Tina is the kind of girl to whom money is very important.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Tina.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Well, what did you expect? I have enough of your likes and dislikes to want her just as badly as you do. The only difference being that I can get her. No, we're not quite the same, you and I. I've got zip.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Don't use that word.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Now, how about some dinner? You know, I'm starved.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

I have to go out.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

I'll need some clothes. Sorry.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

I only have this one suit.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Fine. You can lend it to me.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

What about me?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

I'll bring you a sandwich after I come back from seigales Segales. Well, you haven't forgotten, have you, Webber? We're invited to the celebration. Tina and Lou White. Only it wouldn't look quite right if we both showed up. So I'll tell you all about it. Now, off with that suit and no nonsense.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Well, this is living enough, folks.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Yahoo.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Have another drink, Mr. Ojack.

[Census Keeper]

Thank you, Lou.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Well, is everybody happy? Hey, honey, are you having yourself a little old time?

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Oh, yes, Lou. Fine, fine.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Yeah, but you seem to be preoccupied.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Oh, I was just wondering if Sam is coming.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Sam? Oh, no.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Did you hear that, Mr. RoJack? She's worrying about Sam. Why, that little one probably got frightened by a noise maker.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Well, well, well, the happy couple.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Sam.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Good evening, cats. Everybody's lit up like a Christmas tree.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Well, I'll be. Say, Sam, are you in the bag?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Never touch the stuff, Luma boy. Never touch it. Boy Scout training.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Oh, Sam, I was afraid you weren't coming.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Miss a chance to be with you beautiful Never.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Hey, what's got into you, Weber? Monkey glands?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

I don't read you muscle bounds.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

You seem different somehow, even your voice.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Do you notice anything, Tina?

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Well, yes, it does seem richer somehow.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Nonsense, Sam Weber. You're nothing but a clean puff and you always will be.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Mr. Ojack. I think he owes me an apology for that. I should think so. All right, all American boy, make with the apology. Apologize?

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Me?

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

Oh, no. Why, for two cents?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Oaks, would you excuse Mr. White and me for a few minutes? We want to step out into the hall for a little private conference. Coming, Mr. White.

[Lou White (Sam's Rival)]

I'll be right back, honey. Don't worry about a thing.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Okay, big boy. You've taken enough punishment now,

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Sam. Lou. Lou, don't kill him. He did. Oh, dear.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

He'll be all right in a little while, baby.

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

But did you. I mean. Oh, Sam.

[Census Keeper]

Tina,

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

we really shouldn't kiss like this.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

It's what you've always wanted, isn't it?

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Well, isn't it?

[Tina Velvet (Sam's Love Interest)]

Oh, Sam,

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

My. This time he's probably kissing her. And there's nothing you can do about it, Weber, old man. Nothing. Hey, wait a minute. Where's that book of instructions to disassemble a build a man model? Merely focus the ray of the disassemblator device and press lever X. But that's murder, counselor. Still, legally, in order to prove there's been a murder, you need a corpus delicti. And nobody even knows there is another Sam Weber. So you're finally home. I'm starved.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Sorry, Webber, old man, but very pressing business detained me.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

I suppose you made a fool of me over at Sigales.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Oh, on the contrary.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

What do you mean, my boy?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

You are looking at a man who in one fell swoop has got himself a raise, a promotion and a wife. At least she'll be my wife tomorrow.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Who?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Tina, of course.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

I don't believe I had to put

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

on quite a show, but all around it was a real success. Mr. Ojack was so impressed, he called me aside and said he was going to give me a crack at some criminal cases. And if I made the grade, why, who knows? I may even accept a partnership.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

You've got it all figured out, haven't you?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

That's about it.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Only you neglected to consider one thing.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Oh, what's that? This. Hey, put that down.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Get back, you. You usurper, you. I'm gonna melt you down like a Welsh rarebit.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Weber, you can't do that. It's murdery. It's like killing your own son.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

After what you've done to me, it's a pleasure.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

I didn't ask to be brought into this world, but now that I'm here, I like it enough to want to survive.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Take off my suit, you phony. You won't be needing it again.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

You're really going through with it, huh?

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

I am.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

All right. Oh, here's your Dacard. Give me that thing. Give it to me. Spanner. Now, we'll fix this little item so it can't do any damage.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Oh, no.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

You see, Webber, you don't have the guts to stand up against the man you might have been.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

What's that sound? I don't know. It seems to be inside the house.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Somebody's coming up the stairs. Listen. Take a peek through the keyhole. Weber.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Holy jump. It's him. Who? The old man with the black coat. His eyes, all black and shiny, without any whites. Looks insane.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Don't open it.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Hey, he's burning it.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

He's burning a hole right through the door.

[Census Keeper]

Good evening, gentlemen. As I feared, I'm too late to prevent you from duplication, Mr. Webber. And I see that you have destroyed the disassemblator. That means I shall have to do the job manually. An ugly task.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Who are you?

[Census Keeper]

I am the census keeper for the 24th oblong. You see, your builderman set was intended for one of the Webber children who is on a field trip to in this oblong 200 years from now because of an unfortunate time warp. The set was delivered here accidentally.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

You mean this set came here from 200 years from now?

[Census Keeper]

Precisely. Time, as with all things, is relative. We shall have to recover the set, of course, and adjust any discrepancies that has caused. Meanwhile, the problem is which, of you two gentlemen is the original Sam.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

I am Ms. Liar.

[Census Keeper]

Difficulties, difficulties. Why cannot I ever have a simple case like a double canuplication?

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Now, look here, Mr. Census Keeper. The duplicate will obviously be less stable

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

and more emotionally unbalanced. Certainly a man of your qualifications can decide which of us is the more valid member of society. Which of us will will conform more readily to the standards.

[Census Keeper]

Naturally, I observe that one of you is naked.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Census Keeper]

And you also seem to be trembling, whereas this gentleman seems quite calm.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Hold it. You're making a mistake.

[Census Keeper]

I hardly think so.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Stay away from me.

[Census Keeper]

Please do not struggle.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

Please.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Please.

[Census Keeper]

Mr. Webber.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Yes?

[Census Keeper]

It would be better if you didn't watch.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Of course. Well, that's my story. Within 10 seconds, the old Sam Weber had been completely dismantled and packed into the box. Tina and I were married and I went on to become a full partner in the firm of Ojack, Samoset and Weber. Oh, and by the way, Tina and I have been doing quite successfully. But the old Sam Weber and his build a man set made such a mess of. We have 1, 2, 3 little conuplications. Sam Jr, age 4, Sama age 3, and Samina, age 4 months. Good night.

[Dimension X Narrator]

You have just heard another adventure into the unknown world of the future.

[Mr. Ojack (Sam's Boss)]

The world of

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

dimension.

[Dimension X Narrator]

Time is a strange and mysterious dimension. Could we alter the future if we could travel back in time to our own youth? Next week we bring you a story of a man who found the answer in time and time again.

[Sam Weber (Main Character)]

Dimension X is presented transcribed each week by the National Broadcasting Company in cooperation with street and Smith, publishers of the magazine Astounding Science Fiction. Today, Dimension X has presented child's play written for radio by George Lefferts from the story by William Ten. Featured in the cast were Leon Janney as Sam, Carl Weber as his alter ego, and Patsy Campbell as his girl. Your host was Norman Rose. Music by Bert Berman. Dimension X is produced by William Welch and directed by Fred. In reply to many queries from our listeners, last week's story on Dimension X,

[Dimension X Narrator]

pebble in the sky, was written by Isaac Asimov. This is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company.

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