Dimension X - The Parade - #21

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Dimension X - The Parade" (#21)

Series: Harold's Old Time Radio
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode Date: May 5, 2026
Original Broadcast: June 1, 1950 (by Dimension X)
Episode Theme:
A chilling radio drama from the golden age, "The Parade" tells the story of a grand publicity stunt for an alleged 'Martian Day'—but the line between PR spectacle and sinister invasion blurs with deadly consequences.

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Episode Overview

This episode revisits a classic "Dimension X" tale—George Lefferts’ "The Parade"—where commercialism, gullibility, and alien menace converge. What begins as a wry satire on advertising unfolds into a suspenseful depiction of how easily society’s trust can be subverted.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Progression

1. The Martian Client (02:26 – 07:14)

• Sid Ryan, head of a New York publicity firm, is approached by a mysterious Mr. Lucia, who claims to be a Martian.
• Despite skepticism, Sid is won over by Lucia’s up-front cash and proposal for a massive suspense campaign.
• The campaign: teasers like "The Martians Are Coming" and "June 1st is Martian Day" across newspapers, radio, streetcars.
• Memorable moment:

  Mr. Lucia: "I have here the cash retainer. $5,000."
  Sid Ryan: "Five thou. Sit down, Mr. Lucia." (03:47)

2. Building Hype and Doubts (07:39 – 12:06)

• Sid organizes a parade with Martian-themed floats, "Martians" (hired midgets in spacesuits), and other extras.
• Sid's assistant Oliver expresses concern they still don’t know the true product.
• Sid speculates that it’s a covert promo for an upcoming Century Pictures sci-fi film, "Invasion from Mars."
• Quote:

  Sid Ryan: "Oliver, my boy, do you think old Sid Ryan has been sitting here spending all this moolah and not putting two and two together?" (09:06)

3. Parade Day in New York (12:31 – 16:33)

• Radio announcer Ron Hyman paints a vivid scene: floats, candy distributed by clowns, jovial crowds, children in Martian hats.
• The tone shifts as a contingent of solemn, militaristic "Martians" appears, their march eerily precise.
• The crowd is silenced when a woman (later revealed as part of Sid's plan) rushes to the Martians, tries to lift a helmet, screams, and faints.

4. Comedy Gives Way to Horror (18:35 – 21:13)

• Sid reveals to Oliver he paid for the dramatic fainting, expecting a publicity boost.
• A key twist: Sid learns the men in Martian suits weren’t the hired extras—no one knows where these "Martians" came from.
• In a tense phone call, Sid discovers the supposed movie tie-in doesn't exist—the film was canceled.
• Revelation:

  Helen Rover: "Marty, that picture was shelved last month... It's too incredible, Sid. Who'd ever believe it could really happen?" (21:04)

5. Realization and Panic (21:17 – 26:07)

• Sid’s growing horror: The Martians’ flawless march is too authentic for actors.
• Attempts to alert authorities fail; Commissioner Patrick assumes it’s another PR stunt.
• News breaks: children are poisoned by the parade’s candy.
• Sid confronts Mr. Lucia, who reveals the chilling truth:

  Mr. Lucia: "We found that people on Earth are predominantly conditioned by advertising and publicity. And so we conceived the idea of treating our entire invasion as a vast publicity stunt." (25:24) "The product is death." (26:10)

6. The Inevitable Catastrophe (26:48 – 27:40)

• Sid tries desperately to warn the reviewing stand but is too late; the Martians are poised to make their deadly move as they present a fake charity check and prepare a "salute" weapon.
• Sid’s last call is cut off—the invasion will be both literal and metaphorical, announced but ignored.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• The Satirical Setup:

  Sid Ryan: "What are we selling?"
  Mr. Lucia: "The concept of invasion from Mars." (07:14)

• On Publicity Culture:

  Mr. Lucia: "Advertising and publicity are the very backbone of earthly civilization." (02:56)

• On the Invasion’s Strategy:

  Mr. Lucia: "Who would suspect an invader who advertised his invasion in the newspaper, invited the public to his surprise attack and spent millions publicizing his plans?" (25:38)

• Chilling Climax:

  Mr. Lucia: "In exactly two minutes, our troops will treat the world to a spectacle of death which will bring the rest of your planet to its knees in horror." (26:18)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Martian pitch: 02:26 – 07:14
• Sid’s speculation and build-up: 07:39 – 12:06
• Parade coverage: 12:31 – 16:33
• The hired extras twist: 18:35 – 21:13
• Sid’s attempts to warn authorities: 21:17 – 26:07
• Final confrontation & revelation: 26:48 – 27:40

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Episode Tone and Style

The episode combines dry, cynical humor about advertising with mounting dread, using authentic 1950s radio drama style: wry banter, earnest radio reporting, and a narrative that slides from farce to horror.

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Why Listen

"The Parade" stands out as a sharp satire of mass media and conformity, as relevant today as when it first aired. It’s a cornerstone of the "Golden Age"—a tense, imaginative parable about how the tools of persuasion can become instruments of our own downfall.

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Recommended for:
Fans of classic sci-fi, old-time radio, media satire, and anyone interested in how speculative fiction mirrors society’s vulnerabilities.

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(Adverts and musical outros excluded from this summary.)

Transcript

[Sleep Number Announcer]

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[Frank Martin]

It's National Wheaties Week. Yes, it's National Wheaties Week and Wheaties presents Dimension X

[Dimension X Narrator]

transcribed on stage tonight. Dimension X and other in the Wheaties big parade of exciting half hour presentations.

[Frank Martin]

It's National Wheaties Week. And here's the forecast for tomorrow morning. Bright and cheerful with occasional smiles, followed by a good morning all morning long. You think I'm kidding? No, sir. You can have a better morning around your house tomorrow if you started off with a good breakfast, including, I hope, a bowl of Wheaties with milk and fruit nourishment. Say Wheaties have it to give to you right here in National Wheaties Week. There's a whole kernel of wheat in every Wheaties flake. Talk about vitamins and minerals and protein. They're yours in Wheaties. All you have to do is get them those Wheaties at your nearest store. Get them and try them once this week. For me? For you. Try them once and see for yourself how Wheaties at 7 can help at 11. Ready? Let's go. It's National Wheaties Week.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Now.

[Frank Martin]

Tonight's adventure into the unknown world of the future. The world of Dimension X, where anything can happen.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

You are Mr. Sid Ryan?

[Sid Ryan]

The same.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

My name is Lucia. I'm a Martian.

[Sid Ryan]

Pleased to meet you, Mr. L. What was that again?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

A Martian.

[Sid Ryan]

A Martian, huh? As in Orson Welles?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Precisely.

[Sid Ryan]

I'm a Rotarian myself. Sit down. Thank you. And now that we've had our little joke, Mr. Mr. Lucha, what can publicity associates do for you?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

It has been my observation that advertising and publicity are the very backbone of earthly civilization.

[Sid Ryan]

Spoken like a true Martian, Mr. Lucia. Now, if you'll tell me the name of the client.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

The client, of course, will be the Martian.

[Sid Ryan]

You don't give up, do you?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Give up?

[Sid Ryan]

The gag, I mean. Oliver. Oh, yes, Mr. Ryan, this is Mr. Lushar. How do you do? That Mr. Lushar claims to be a Martian. Take him outside, will you? Oliver, get the name of the sanatorium he escaped from and tell them to bring the butterfly net.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Waiter. I'm happy to see Mr. Ryan. That my telling you I'm a Martian has approximately the effect I supposed it would have. I believe we can do business. I have here the cash retainer. $5,000.

[Sid Ryan]

Five thou. Sit down, Mr. Lucia. Oliver, get the client a cigar. Yes, sir. No, no, no, no. The other box. The other box.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Thank you, no.

[Sid Ryan]

Well, now, what can I do for

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

you, Sir, I wish you to manage a publicity campaign. A very large, a very important campaign.

[Sid Ryan]

Is the product established, or is it something brand new?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Oh, something quite new. Now, what would you judge to be the most effective type of campaign?

[Sid Ryan]

Well, if the client has a lot of dough to throw around, a suspense campaign is best. First, you place ads in the paper saying, watch this space. Then about a week later, you run an ad saying XYZ or pdq and you get people guessing what it means. Then finally, when you've teased them enough, you bust loose and unveil the product.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Excellent. Very well, sir. We shall conduct a suspense campaign.

[Sid Ryan]

Of course, in this kind of campaign, secrecy is very important. Once the name of the product leaks out, it spreads like wildfire. And the whole campaign is kerflopo.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Kerfl. Yes, quite so, quite so. Utmost secrecy.

[Sid Ryan]

That's right. You realize, of course, these things cost like crazy.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Would, say, $1 million cover the expense?

[Sid Ryan]

Come again?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

I said, would $1 million cover it?

[Sid Ryan]

Why, yes, I imagine you did say $1 million.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

I understood that you had handled some very large accounts. Of course, if this is too big.

[Sid Ryan]

Oh, not at all, not at all. As a matter of fact, I seldom touch anything less. Right, Oliver? Huh?

[Frank Martin]

Oh.

[Oliver]

Oh.

[Dimension X Narrator]

Oh, of course.

[Oliver]

That's right, Mr. Ryan. Absolutely right.

[Frank Martin]

Good.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

You will begin then by saturating the newspapers, radio, streetcars, the very simple statement.

[Sid Ryan]

What's that?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

I shall write it for you.

[Sid Ryan]

The Martians are coming. Say, that's not a bad teaser. Got that, Oliver?

[Oliver]

Yes, sir.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

The next ad will read, June 1st is Martian Day.

[Oliver]

June 1st is Martian Day.

[Sid Ryan]

What happens on June 1st?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

The parade takes place.

[Sid Ryan]

What parade?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

I wish you to arrange a parade up Fifth Avenue.

[Sid Ryan]

You mean like the Macy Parade?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Exactly. Except that the theme will be the world of tomorrow. The Martian world. My client would like it to be a gay affair. Balloons, clowns, pennants, pretty drum majorettes.

[Sid Ryan]

Hey, that sounds terrific. I might be able to interest the department stores in a tie in.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Fine. The parade will climax the campaign. On June 1, the product will be unveiled.

[Sid Ryan]

Good enough. By the way, Mr. Lucia, just what is the product? What are we selling?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Oh, no, Mr. Ryan. Secrecy, remember? Oh, but I thought all will be revealed to you. In good time, Mr. Iron. For the moment, let us say we are selling a concept.

[Sid Ryan]

A concept?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Precisely. The concept of invasion from Mars.

[Sid Ryan]

Benny, Marcus, please.

[Benny]

This is Benny.

[Sid Ryan]

Benny, this is Sid Ryan over at Publicity Associates. Listen, Benny, how you fix for midgets?

[Benny]

I got midgets.

[Adolph]

Fine.

[Sid Ryan]

I need 40 midgets for a parade. 40, June 1st. And listen, Benny, I want them dressed in little space suits.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

What?

[Sid Ryan]

You know, like men from Mars. Okay, midgets. And I want some movie extras, maybe 50 of them. Also rigged up like men from Mars. Make them look gruesome. Got that?

[Benny]

Gruesome.

[Sid Ryan]

Also I need some horses with pretty girls on top of them. Maybe you can get that bunch from Maroni's traveling circus. The ones we booked for the fireman's parade in Albany last year.

[Benny]

Try Sid.

[Sid Ryan]

And never mind the expense. Just get me the talent.

[Commissioner Patrick]

Okay?

[Sid Ryan]

I gotta hang up now. Call me back. Benny. How you doing, Oliver?

[Oliver]

Oh, fine, Mr. Ryan, just fine. We got full page ads and all the dailies and 10 second spot announcements on every local station. But it's costing a fortune.

[Sid Ryan]

The more it costs, the bigger our percentage. Spend like you are going to the electric chair. Oliver.

[Oliver]

Yes, sir. How you making out on the parade?

[Sid Ryan]

If it comes off, it'll be the biggest thing since Barnum. I've got Macy's gimbals and sacks to contribute floats. Everything is built around the Martian theme, see? Even the horses will have long feelers attached to them and funny looking extra legs. It'll be sensational.

[Oliver]

Oh yeah, yeah, it sounds fine. Only.

[Sid Ryan]

Only what?

[Oliver]

Well, Mr. Ryan, we don't even know what we're selling.

[Sid Ryan]

Oliver, my boy, do you think old Sid Ryan has been sitting here spending all this moolah and not putting two and two together?

[Oliver]

You mean you know who Le Shar represents?

[Sid Ryan]

Just by accident, understand. I have learned that Century Pictures is making a big new epic. A space opera entitled Invasion from Mars. Get it?

[Oliver]

Oh, oh, I begin to see.

[Sid Ryan]

Also, by mere coincidence, it happens to be the premiere sometime around June 1st. You follow me?

[Oliver]

But Mr. Ryan, Century has an exclusive contract with New Feature Syndicate for all their publicity.

[Sid Ryan]

Suppose Century Pictures doesn't like the way New Features is handling their stuff? They want to get out of the contract, but New Features says no. So they have to get around the contract. A man named Lucia, client unknown, starts publicizing the Martian invasion. Need I go further?

[Oliver]

Oh, I get it, Mr. Ryan. Gee, I suppose I should have thought of that.

[Sid Ryan]

No, Oliver, that's what I like about you. You're so innoc. Let me talk to Commissioner Patrick, please. Sid Ryan. Hello, Commish. Sid Ryan.

[Commissioner Patrick]

Oh, it's you. Well, what is it this time? If you want to drop a man off the Empire State Building into a teacup full of water, the answer is no. Also, we are not arresting any fan dancers.

[Sid Ryan]

You who know I don't handle fan dances. I want a permit for a parade. June 1, Fifth Avenue. It's a Sunday. There's no traffic.

[Benny]

Oh, come now.

[Commissioner Patrick]

Look, Ryan.

[Sid Ryan]

Macy's gets a permit. Gimbles gets a permit. The American Legion gets a permit. The Sons of Aaron march every time Morton Downey sings the Word of the Green. Don't give me a hard time, Patrick. This is too big. I have the Fifth Avenue Merchants association behind me.

[Commissioner Patrick]

Okay, Ryan, fill out the forms. I'll pass them along to the license commissioner.

[Sid Ryan]

That's my boy.

[Commissioner Patrick]

Oh, by the way, what's the occasion?

[Sid Ryan]

Don't you read the papers, Patrick? June 1st is Martian Day.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Well, Mr. Ryan, how is the campaign going?

[Sid Ryan]

Like fire, Mr. Lushaw, like fire. Everybody and his brother is going along with the gag. Yesterday, we distributed 50,000 Martian hats to school kids. I even arranged for Commissioner Patrick to accept a $50,000 check for the Policeman's Benevolent Fund from the man from Mars. Excellent. I. I understand Century Pictures spent over a million bucks making that space offering.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

I beg pardon?

[Sid Ryan]

Oh, come, come, Mr. Lucia. Sid Ryan wasn't born yesterday, you know. I know who our client is. Even if you don't admit it, you do. Always thinking, that's me.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Well, as long as you know, let's keep it to ourselves, shall we? Mr. Ryan, as you once remarked, when these things leak out, it destroys the surprise and ruins the effectiveness of the campaign.

[Ron Hyman]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Ron Hyman speaking to you from our portable transmitter atop the reviewing stand for the much heralded Martian parade on Fifth Avenue. It's a beautiful sunlit day here in New York, perfect day for a parade. And the streets are packed with thousands of spectators, all eager to find out what this is all about. There's an air of shrill expectancy.

[Helen Rover]

Helen Rover here.

[Ron Hyman]

Okay, tell them.

[Unidentified Assistant]

All right.

[Ron Hyman]

I just had word from Sol Brown up at Central Park Mall that the Martians have landed from big pink balloons. And while we're waiting here for the arrival of the par, we brought some people up to our microphone to tell you their reactions to this spectacular affair. What's your name, madam?

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Miss Ada Shackley.

[Ron Hyman]

A little louder, please.

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Miss Ada Shackley.

[Ron Hyman]

And where are you from, Mrs. Shackley?

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Columbus, Ohio.

[Ron Hyman]

I see. And I see you have your family with you two little curly headed boys. Are you in New York for your vacation?

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Yeah, we came for the Shriners convention with their daddy.

[Sid Ryan]

Well, come on, Mama, get.

[Ron Hyman]

What do you think of Martian Day, Mrs. Shackley?

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Well, it all seems very strange to me, but the boys have been pestering me to watch it. So we've been standing here for two hours. I can't make head or tail of it.

[Ron Hyman]

Well, neither can a lot of other people, Mr. Shackley, but judging by the thousands here already, there's a lot of curiosity.

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Curiosity killed a cat, folks.

[Ron Hyman]

Say, let's hope not. Thank you, Mrs. Shackley. And now, here's the. Here they come, ladies and gentlemen. The first units of the big Martian parade. Swinging down cafe with fanfare, colored streamers, music, confetti floats, all the trashes. Let's listen to the band for a minute. Here in the vanguard, the whole group of little midgets in weird looking pink and blue spacesuits carrying Rube Goldberg weapons with signs painted on them. I can read one which says Atomic Blaster. Another has a placard reading We're Martian through Georgia. And here come the clowns, laughing and falling all over each other. They're giving free sugar candy to the kids along the way. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there's a happy laughing crowd along Fifth Avenue today. A true reflection of the great sense of humor and good nature that makes America the place it is. Why only. What's this? The crowd's murmuring now they've fallen somewhat silent. There's something coming. I'll try to get it for you.

[Sid Ryan]

What?

[Ron Hyman]

Oh, Ladies and gentlemen, here comes the Martian contingent. This is promised as the climax of the show. And now a great hush has fallen over the crowd. It's quite a sight to see these thousands of people standing here expectantly, hearing only the great regular sigh of their mass breathing. Now here they come, ladies and gentlemen, the Martians. Marching in booted helmeted ranks, row after row. This is an impressive sight, ladies and gentlemen, and a rather serious contrast to the rest of the joyous slapstick parade we've been witnessing.

[Sid Ryan]

Up the now.

[Ron Hyman]

There are perhaps 200 tall, broad chested men dressed in metallic gray spacesuits with thick glass visors drawn across their faces. Each one's holding an ominous looking ray gun at the ready position, marching in absolute silence, being stepped perfectly, as though some new unspoken command were marking time for them. Even the children are awed by the unexpected warlike realism of the Martian Legion. And now the first ranks of the Martians move past us down Fifth Avenue. Toward the reviewing stands at the square. No one moves. A woman. A woman, ladies and gentlemen, just dashed out into the street. For what reason, I don't know. She just slipped through the police cordon somehow. They're after her now, but she's already reached the ranks of the marches and she's trying to lift the visor of one of the Martian space fields. Wait, wait.

[Sid Ryan]

She's fallen.

[Ron Hyman]

She screamed. And then fell forward in a dead fate. The Martian column keeps right on coming. Unless they break ranks, they're going to trample her. No, no, no. The police have. Policemen have got her now. They're dragging her away, out of the way, trying to revive her. Now what? That all sorts of rumors have begun filtering back through the crowd. Some are even whispering that the woman's dead. We don't know yet. But whatever's happened, the incident seems to cast a slight shadow over the mood of the crowd. Carefree holiday air seems to have vanished. The crowd stirring uneasily. A little disturbed at what we've just seen. Nothing to be alarmed at, however. It just seems a shame that anything like this should happen to spoil our enjoyment of the Martian parade.

[Dimension X Narrator]

Dimension acts will continue in just a moment.

[Frank Martin]

It's National Wheaties Week.

[Unidentified Assistant]

I want to take that again, Frank.

[Frank Martin]

Oh, sure. It's National Wheaties Week and we're celebrating. And that voice you heard belongs to my severest critic, who is here to help us celebrate tonight. He's the fellow who's backstage when I'm telling you about the Wheaties. He listens to see that I tell you, right. Wheaties best friend next to me, Blaine Butcher.

[Unidentified Assistant]

I think you took that introduction a little fast, Frank.

[Frank Martin]

See what I mean, folks? Seriously, Blaine, you say the Wheaties words once.

[Sid Ryan]

Okay, all I'll say is this.

[Unidentified Assistant]

Those of us who tell the Wheaties story believe what we say. And during National Wheaties Week, the good word is this. Get a package of Wheaties and try them just once. I'll be right behind you in line at your grocer's between you and Frank Martin. Okay, do that. Now try Wheaties. It's national wheaties weekend,

[Oliver]

Mr. Ryan. Did you see that? A woman fainted. She ran out into the street to get a close look at the Martians.

[Sid Ryan]

Then.

[Oliver]

Then she screamed and fainted dead away.

[Sid Ryan]

I'm well aware of that, Oliver, since I paid her 50 bucks to do it. What the dramatic moment, Oliver. The stock and trade of the good publicity man.

[Unidentified Assistant]

Relax.

[Oliver]

Holy smokes.

[Ron Hyman]

You sure think of everything.

[Sid Ryan]

For my share of this deal, roughly $100,000. I can afford to think of everything. Shut the window.

[Oliver]

Okay, but don't you want to see the finish?

[Sid Ryan]

We'll go down to the reviewing stand for the finish right now. I want to make a phone call. By the way, where's Lou? Sh.

[Oliver]

I haven't seen him.

[Sid Ryan]

Well, close the window, Oliver.

[Oliver]

Well, okay. Mr. Ryan.

[Benny]

Marcus Towel Agency.

[Sid Ryan]

Benny, this is Sid Ryan.

[Benny]

Oh, I say, listen, Sid, I was gonna call you. I'm awful sorry about those Martians.

[Sid Ryan]

What do you mean, sorry? They're terrific.

[Benny]

Don't joke, Sid. I mean it.

[Sid Ryan]

Well, I mean it too. They're great.

[Helen Rover]

Great.

[Benny]

Are you in a bag?

[Sid Ryan]

Never felt better.

[Benny]

You mean it, don't you?

[Sid Ryan]

Of course I mean it. What is this?

[Benny]

There are Martians in the parade.

[Sid Ryan]

About 150. Of course, I only ordered 50. But under the circumstance. What is it, Sid?

[Benny]

Don't you know I couldn't get you a single movie extra? There's a studio strike in New York.

[Sid Ryan]

Wait a minute. Where'd these guys come from if you didn't hire them?

[Benny]

I don't know.

[Sid Ryan]

Hold on, Oliver.

[Oliver]

Oh, yes, Mr. Ryan.

[Sid Ryan]

Did you hire those Martians?

[Oliver]

Well, no, sir, I didn't.

[Sid Ryan]

Benny, this is on the level, isn't it?

[Benny]

Honest, Sid, I.

[Sid Ryan]

Okay, Benny, I'll call you back.

[Oliver]

What's the matter, Mr. Ryan?

[Sid Ryan]

I don't know. Just don't know. Wonderful. Shot him.

[Oliver]

What's Sentry Pictures Number Tremaine 4 1000.

[Sid Ryan]

Tremaine 4 1. Century Pictures. The studio of the stars. Give me Marty Sanford, your publicity director.

[Benny]

One moment, please.

[Sid Ryan]

Sanford, Marty, this is Sid Ryan.

[Helen Rover]

Oh, hello, Sid.

[Sid Ryan]

How's it going? Fine, fine. Listen, Marty, this is dead serious. On the level, get it?

[Dimension X Narrator]

What's wrong?

[Sid Ryan]

I've got to locate Lucia.

[Ron Hyman]

Lou Hoop.

[Sid Ryan]

Lou Shaw? Come on now, Marty, this is life and death. The guy you sent over to hire me for the invasion picture.

[Dimension X Narrator]

I ever heard of a guy named

[Helen Rover]

Lew Shah and what invasion picture?

[Sid Ryan]

Invasion From Mars. The space opera, you baddie.

[Helen Rover]

Marty, that picture was shelved last month.

[Frank Martin]

What?

[Helen Rover]

Sure, back in the can. The big shots decided you can't sell a Martian invasion to the American public. It's too incredible, Sid. Who'd ever believe it could really happen?

[Sid Ryan]

Of all the crazy Mother in heaven.

[Oliver]

What is it, Mr. Ryan?

[Sid Ryan]

You look terrible.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

It's.

[Sid Ryan]

It's too fantastic.

[Oliver]

Fanta. Mr. Ryan, is something wrong?

[Sid Ryan]

Open that window. I want another look at those Martians. Look at him. Oliver, you were in the Army. Could 150 movie extras learn to march like that in, say, 24 hours?

[Oliver]

No, not in 24 days, Mr. Ryan,

[Sid Ryan]

not a second's hesitation, not one out of step. Look at the way they carry those ray guns at the ready. The only other time I've seen troops marched like that was on a film of the Nazi SS troops marching through the streets of Paris.

[Oliver]

Mr. Ryan.

[Sid Ryan]

Oliver. Get down there. Find that woman who painted. Her name's Gloria Montez. Get her up here. Make it fast.

[Oliver]

Here she is, Mr. Ryan. I can't get much sense out of her.

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Stay away from me.

[Sid Ryan]

Okay, Gloria, you can cut out the act and relax. It's me, said Ryan. Gloria, settle down, baby. It's me, Sid, it's awful.

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

It's all big green eyes and those feelings like a catfish.

[Sid Ryan]

Baby, snap out of it. Listen, what happened down there? You ran out and screamed like I told you. But the fainting, that wasn't in the act.

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Go away. Please, go away.

[Sid Ryan]

Just one question, baby. Inside that helmet, what did you see? Don't get anything out of here.

[Helen Rover]

Mr. Ryan.

[Oliver]

She needs a doctor.

[Sid Ryan]

Okay, Oliver, I've heard enough. Anyway, you take care of Gloria here. Get her a drink. Where are you going? To see the commissioner. You gotta stop this parade before things begin to happen.

[Commissioner Patrick]

Okay, Ryan, what's the beef?

[Sid Ryan]

Listen, Patrick, I don't know what it is, see, but something's wrong. You've got to stop that parade.

[Commissioner Patrick]

I suppose you'd like the riot squad. That would get you a front page spread on every paper in town. Now look, Ryan, I've got no time for your cheap publicity gags. I'm a busy man.

[Sid Ryan]

Listen, I'm trying to tell you. I don't know where those Martians came from, who they are, anything about them.

[Commissioner Patrick]

Oh, Ryan, I'm wise to your tricks now. If you let the sergeant show you ours.

[Sid Ryan]

You won't do it, huh? An honest citizen appeals for protection and you refuse it.

[Commissioner Patrick]

I most emphatically do. Now beat it.

[Sid Ryan]

All right, Patrick. I'll go right to the mayor's office. I'll have you busted flatter than a fried egg.

[Helen Rover]

Go ahead.

[Commissioner Patrick]

I'm sure His Honor will be glad to toss you out on that phony nickel plated skull of yours.

[Adolph]

You heard me, Ryan. You can't see the mayor.

[Sid Ryan]

Adolph, please. This isn't a gag. I don't want publicity. All I want to do is maybe prevent something horrible from happening.

[Adolph]

In case you don't know it, wise guy, something horrible's awful. A couple of hundred little kids are in the hospital with the main poisoning from that phony marching candy. You passed out.

[Frank Martin]

What?

[Sid Ryan]

But didn't you know I. I didn't. We've got to stop that parade.

[Adolph]

Sure, you'd like nothing better than start a panic. Now maybe a few hundred people get trampled to death. Think of the newspaper space that'd get you and your phony brother.

[Sid Ryan]

I won't stand for this, Adolf. This may be a matter of life and death.

[Adolph]

Get out of here, Queen. It'll be your death. Go on, beat it.

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Get out.

[Adolph]

You and your publicity sons make me sick to my stomach.

[Sid Ryan]

Oliver. Oliver. Oliver, where are you? Oliver. Oliver.

[Helen Rover]

Oliver.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

It is useless to scream at him, Mr. Ryan. Your friend is quite dead.

[Sid Ryan]

Lucia.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

He wanted to render the police with some story about a Martian invasion. I found it necessary to restrain him.

[Sid Ryan]

Restrain him? You stinking murderer.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Come on now, Mr. Ryan. Collect yourself. After all our planning. It wouldn't do to have everything spoiled now, would it, Lou?

[Sid Ryan]

Shot talking. And talk fast, because when you get through, I'm gonna take you apart piece by piece. What's this all about?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Surely you know, Mr. Ryan. After all, you've been publicizing it for months. You see, before colonizing your planet, the Martian government sent some of us as scouts in advance. Disguised as earthmen, of course, to study your habits, your weaknesses. We found that the people on Earth are predominantly conditioned by advertising and publicity. And so we conceived the idea of treating our entire invasion as a vast publicity stunt. Clever, yes. After all, Mr. Ryan, who would suspect an invader who advertised his invasion in the newspaper, invited the public to his surprise attack and spent millions publicizing his plans?

[Sid Ryan]

Holy jumping.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

You've done very well.

[Sid Ryan]

You see, then there was no product.

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

Ah, but there is a product. The product is death.

[Sid Ryan]

What are you trying Lucha?

[Mr. Lucia (Martian)]

We Martians are a humane people, Mr. Ryan. We do not like to destroy thousands when a few hundred will suffice. In exactly two minutes, our troops will treat the world to a spectacle of death which will bring the rest of your planet to its knees in horror. Nations will clamor to surrender.

[Sid Ryan]

Perhaps, Mr. Lucia, but not if I can help.

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Yes, please.

[Sid Ryan]

Operator, this is Mr. Ryan. Get me the field telephone on the reviewing stand of the Martian Day Parade. Hurry.

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Anyone in particular?

[Sid Ryan]

Just hurry.

[Helen Rover]

Reviewing Stan. Hello?

[Sid Ryan]

Get me Commissioner Patrick. Hello? Hello?

[Helen Rover]

You have to talk louder.

[Sid Ryan]

I want Commissioner Patrick.

[Adolph]

Patrick.

[Helen Rover]

Patrick. Wait a minute. Things are quieting down. Hey, wait a minute. What was that you wanted?

[Sid Ryan]

This is Ryan. I have to talk to the Commissioner. It's a matter of life and death.

[Helen Rover]

Oh, you can't talk to him now. The Chief Martian is presenting the PBA Check to him. The Martians are going to fire a salute.

[Sid Ryan]

Listen, you gotta stop him.

[Helen Rover]

What? Stop him. I'm sorry, Mr. Ryan. I can't hear you.

[Frank Martin]

Idiot.

[Helen Rover]

The worst this morning.

[Mrs. Ada Shackley / Gloria Montez]

Mr. Ryan? Mr. Ryan, you've been cut off. I heard it. Is something the matter?

[Sid Ryan]

No, operator. Doesn't matter. Nothing matters now.

[Dimension X Narrator]

Tonight, Dimension X has transcribed the Parade, an original radio drama written by George Lefferts. Featured in the cast were Joseph Curtin as Ryan, Barry Kroger as Lou Shar and Alexander Scurvy as Ron Heilman. Your narrator was Norman Rose, music by Albert Berman, engineer Bill Chambers. Dimension X is produced by Van Woodward and directed by Edward King. In a moment, we'll tell you about next week's show. And now, here is your Wheaties man, Frank Martin.

[Frank Martin]

It's National Wheaties Week. Have you had them today? Had your Wheaties? It's National Wheaties Week the time of the year to buy Wheaties and try them at least once, we're gonna say. Because once you sit down to a bowl of Wheaties with milk and the fruit of your choice, I don't worry about you. Nope. I know there's a whole kernel of wheat in every Wheaties flake. And that's good. Besides, I know that starting a better breakfast with Wheaties can help you feel better, look better and work better all morning. But honest, now, you have to do your part before Wheaties can do theirs. Sure, buy Wheaties. That's what you have to do. That's what I have to do. Buy them and see how Wheaties at 7 can help at 11. And a happy National Wheaties Week to you.

[Dimension X Narrator]

Listen next week when we present the

[Frank Martin]

Robert Heinlein story, the Roads Must Roll. Another adventure into the world of tomorrow, the world of Dimension xx. And this is the Wheaties man, Frank Martin, inviting you to listen Saturday. That's tomorrow night to Joel McCray in Tales of the Texas Rangers on the Wheaties Big Parade. See you then. And remember, it's National Wheaties Week Swing

[Helen Rover]

your partners right and left It's National

[Wheaties Party Leader]

Wheaties Week Come on, everybody, to the Wheaties party Eat lot of Wheaties like the champions do that hands together, cheek to cheek this is National Wheaties Week Eat a lot of Wheaties like the champions do Wheaties at breakfast A champion.

[Frank Martin]

This program came to you from new york, jack leitz.

[Sid Ryan]

Coming up, october 6th, it's bill bendix on NBC.