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Dimension X - The Professor Was A Thief - #28
00:30:22
Dimension X - The Professor Was A Thief - 11/05/1950
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Call the Honda's detective precinct. Find out if anything's been reported missing. Like what? Like Grand Tour. Boom. Go on, make it snappy. Okay, Pop. All right, Trini. Now give it to me slow. This better not be a gag. Okay, partner, get it down. The traffic at the drive was at its noon hour peak. And the benches and structure were filled with happy, laughing people. Then, without a warning, a rumble sound into the armed populous squadron. Hold it, Sweeney. Well, Albert, I don't get it. They say that grass tomb is gone. Okay, call composing. Tell him to hold everything for an extra. Clear out page one. Get gone. Okay, Sweeney. Now the heck with the words. Give me the garbage. What happened? Nobody knows. There are half a dozen police cars around here staring at the place where Grant's Tomb was. I was about a block away. I heard screams, I came running. It was gone. Vanished. How many dead? Nobody knows. If anybody is dead, we'll find out. How can I find out? And everybody was sitting on the steps and all disappeared. What? They're gone. No bodies, no tomb, Pop. No tomb. Okay, you hoop it back up there and get stories from certain witnesses. Now call me back. Albert. Yes, Pop? Get Columbia University on the phone. Get a statement. Right. Research. Yes, sir. Grab an encyclopedia to see if anything like this ever happened before. Hey, Walters. Yeah, Pop. Call the army. Find out about secret weapons. Hello, Composing? This is Pop Adam, beyond the city desk. Start setting up an extra. I want to hit the street in 20 minutes. Second extra in an hour with pictures. Okay. What are you waiting for? Get em rolled. Pop. Pop. Oh, I'm busy. Albert. Yes, sir. Pop, Mr. Colborne wants to see you. Toronto. Tell him I'm busy. Well, he. He says to come now. Of all the flat headed publishers to saddle a newspaper with. Okay, Sweeney calls. Switch it to Colburn's office. Okay. Pot. Come in. Listen, Mr. Colburn, I'm very busy now. There's an extra on the rollers. I know. I just called composing and ordered them to. Stop it. Stop it. Anna Bee, you've been on the city desk of The Herald for 25 years now. Since when do you waste thousands of dollars on an April fool? April fool? Listen, Grant's tomb is missing. Is that a story or am I dead from the neck up? Did you check it? Yes. And Sweeney, how do you know it's true? Well, if you. What do you mean? Spreading cold terror all over town. But Sweeney. The devil with Sweeney. How do you know it isn't just a hallucination? Mass hypnotism, something like that? Well, what if it is, Atterby? If this is a farce, we'll be in Dutch. But good civil suits, criminal action. We're the only paper in town on the streets with an extra. The other editors don't believe this story for one inch. It takes guts to run a paper. Well, if that's what it takes, you've got too many. You took the authority for this without even trying to find me and get an okay? Your father in law knew a story has to run while it's hot. All right. You ran this while it was so hot our first 10 papers drove the city into a panic. How do we know this whole thing isn't a big fan? Hello? Now there's Corborn. Yes, he's here. It what? Oh, well, that's fine. That's fine and dandy. You're fired. It's Your star reporter, Mr. Sweeney, formerly of the Herald. Formerly? Give me that phone. Hello, Sweeney. Since you got the pictures, holler things up there. Pop, I need more witnesses. Pop. What? It's back. Fine. What did you say? It's back. Grant's Tomb is back. I'm sorry. You're sorry? All right, golden boy. Now give it to me slow, make it sound intelligent. It just reappeared, that's all. What about the people who were inside? All back. Don't remember a thing. It's just like it never happened at all. It's a miracle. It's a miracle. We got an extra on the streets with 28 types screaming that Grant's tomb has vanished. And you calmly called me up to tell me that it's back. But it was gone, I tell you. Painy. What? Do me a favor, will you? Yeah, what? Drop dead. Well, that'll be Desperate Runner Attraction just doesn't make sense. 12 police cars. Charge. We've got statements from witnesses. I told you it was hysteria. Look at the man from Mars broadcast that Orson Welles did. A thousand people will swear they saw the monsters. Oh, I don't know. I'm all confused. Well, let's look at it this way, Atterby. Maybe you've had enough. Enough what? You've been on the city desk 25 years now. That makes you, let me see, 55. 50. What are you driving at, Mr. Colby? I mean, maybe you ought to retire. Retire? We need new people, new ideas. I've been thinking about it for some time now. With Social Security, you'd get about 20 bucks. Fine. Now, you listen. I brought this paper into the world, and it's going to take me out. I was on that city desk before. You ever heard of a sticker type? Then you come along and marry a publisher's daughter. That's enough. I made a mistake, okay? Anybody can make a mistake. I still think there's something in this story. Sweeney's been around too long to blow one like this. Even when he's drunk, he's a better newspaper man than most. I'm sorry. Effective today, you're relieved as city editor. Sanford will take over. Sanford? Why is Greelersgrass. If you want to stay on in some minor jobs. Such as? How about science editor? Science editor? You can have the office right next to mine. It'll pay the rent. Well, I don't know. I don't know what I'll do. I've been on the city desk so long. Well, maybe it's too much excitement for a man your age. Stop writing me off, will ya? I'm sick. I'm 54, and a man at 54 is no longer a boy. I don't know. Maybe I am losing my grip. Gotta go somewhere and think it over. All right, Atterby. Take your time. I'll be across the street at Burley's Bar if you need me. I'll let you know before the bulldog hits the streets. Burly in. Cheaper. Yeah, Pop. Yeah. More poison. Haven't you had enough, Pop? Yeah. This is a solemn occasion, Burly for the hemlock. What's the occasion, Pop? I am now a husband. No. Reduced to million. You, Pop? Never meet the new Science editor of the Sunday supplement. Me Know as much about science as JP Morgan knows about sharecropping. What happened? Who did it? You familiar with a reporter named Aloysius John Sweeney, Former friend and drinking companion of mine. Sweeney, got you busted. The same word if that gentleman should ever, by some misbegotten chance, thrust his head into this bar. Burly, my friend, I personally, with these two bare hands. Hey, Pop. Pop, uh. Oh, hey, Pop. Pop, it's me. I shall control my homicidal instinct. Listen, Pop, I just came down from Riverside Drive. Very daring move, Sweeney. I brought a guy with me. It won't help. Sweeney. Pop, you don't understand. I found a little guy in a swallowtail coat who watched this whole thing happen. Pop. Burly, very. Quiet. Quiet, everybody. Quiet, quiet, will you? How do you do? Gentlemen, then. Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date? Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent. Liberty Liberty. Liberty Liberty developers are shipping AI apps at machine speed. Human speed. Security can't keep up. For every model you ship, there are nearly three hidden components attackers can exploit, invisible to most teams. Enter Evo by sneak. The world's first agentix security system. It maps your entire AI stack, enforces live guardrails and secures your agents in real time. Build fearlessly in the AI era with security as agentic as your apps. Visit Snyk IO. Meetevo to learn more. I can assure you my small stature belies the magnitude of my abilities. What did you bring him for, Sweeney? He's a genius, Papa. Full time genius. You betrayed me once, Sweeney. Isn't that enough? Take your little man away and don't bother me. Your friend isn't very polite, Mr. Sweeney. Perhaps one day he will learn that even the most insignificant man has a sense of dignity and personal worth. I apologize, Professor. I'm not sorry. It's you. It's your tomato headed friend here, Sweeney. I ought to kill you. I ought to strangle you with my bare hands. I ought to have you run through a rotary press at low speed. Those things are too good for you, Popham. Look, I'm trying to tell you the Story ain't phony. It happened, Mr. Pert. We h. Hannibal. Tell him about it. Gladly. My contribution has been awaiting worldwide recognition for many years now. Unfortunately, there are some who insist I am insane. I see that, being small of stature. As you can see, I chose to nurse my resentment rather than to take positive measures. However, I feel now the world is ready to come to terms with Hannibal Pertwee. Can you or can you not explain this Grant's Tomb business? Naturally, it can all be explained quite simply in terms of the Pertwee system of infinite acceleration in transportational facilitation as applied to freightage. I've been trying to sell it to the railroads for 10 years. There. Didn't I tell you he was a genius, Pop? Oh, now, wait a minute, Pop. Give him a chance. Show them the trains, Hannibal. Oh, yes, the trains. If you gentlemen will gather around the suitcase. Come on. I want you to see that I'm telling you. Come on. As you can see, I have in this suitcase a complete model railroad reduced to the size of a cigar box. Observe. Oh, That's enough. I think they run just like real trains, Sweeney. Not content with ruining my life, losing me my job, driving me to alcohol, you're now trying to drive me out of my mind with an obvious madman who builds model railroads. Here's the money, Brady. Keep the chase. Oh, but, Pop. Look, Pop, you're not even giving them a chance. Listen, Pop, please. It's always the same. They won't listen to me. Oh, I guess Pop is losing his grip. I hate them. No, don't take it so hard, Hannibal. Maybe it was all a hallucination. The Pertwee theory is not an hallucination. Sure, sure, sure. Well, it was a good try anyway. I guess I'll go back to the office and pick up my stuff. But I'll show them someday. They'll listen. Sure, sure, you'll show them, Hannibal. Hey, Burley, fix Professor Pertwee here with a double Scotch. Go ahead. Make it a tr. The newest use of the isotope will enable medical experts to trace with accuracy the growth of Carwin. Oh, nuts. Maybe it's better to be unemployed. Science editor speaking. Pop. Yeah, Sweeney? Listen, I got a story. I thought Carl Burn canned you. That can't fire me. Listen, you know Burley's Bar? Does DiMaggio know Yankee Stadium? What about Burley's bar? It's gone. Oh, sweetie. On the level prop just a few seconds ago. Take a look out the window, Sweeney. I warn you. Okay, Sweeney. Hang on, Albert. Yes, Pop? Do me A favor. Stick your head out of that window and tell me if anything unusual is going on at BR's corner. Okay, Pop. Holy jumping catfish. Huh? It's gone. Come here and look. Well, I'll be a monkey. Where's Carbon? He went to Apollo Mac out on Long island. Who's on the 30 desk? Youngstan. Come on. That's city desk. Okay, I'll give it to rewrite. Just a second. City desk? What are you nuts? What? Everybody, listen to this, will you? It's Martinson down at 34th Street. He says the Empire State Building has disappeared. Can you feature that? What are you going to do about it? Do? Am I supposed to do something? He's going nuts. Give me that phone. Hey, let's go. Give me that phone. Hello? Marty, this is Pop. Pop, what are you doing out there? Never mind. What happened? Well, I'm down at the precinct. Five minutes ago, a cop staggered in. It's gone, he says. What's gone? They say. The Empire State, he says. Well, Essie and I better call. Ok. Get down there and get the details. In case you need to convince. A Burley's bar went just before you call. Holy mackerel, what a catastrophe that is. Okay, Pop, I'll call you. Look at the skylines these. The Empire State isn't bad. No, no, no. Don't get panicky. Don't get panicky. It may come back. Just like Grant's Tomb. Okay, Pop, you'll take over, won't you? I'm kind of shaky. Will I? I'll show you fledglings how to run a newspaper together. What? Yep. Get a camera down to Empire Station. Right. What a story. Call the mayor, Albert. Tell him what he asked, what he intends to do. Check, check. Where's the research department? Right here, sir. Columbia University says it's mass hypnotism. Tell him. No. Now dress it up and shoot it down. Yes, sir. Serge, wait a minute. Yes, sir? Find out how many people are usually in the Empire State. Yes, sir. No. And don't try to call the Empire State to find out. No. Tisn't there. Sit in death, Frank. Walter, listen, I've been sober, see? They're garbage, Frankie. They're garbage. Remember, I'm sober. Esther's in. Sober. All day sober. Come on, come on. What happened now? Help me, Pop. Penn Station just disappeared. Vanished. Thin air. Jumping Titans. The people, too. People, train, the works. I'm telling you, there's a hole a block wide. I was lucky. I was only a block away. You saw it? Eyewitness. Oh, bless you, my boy, don't. There was a rumble, see? A kind of electrical hum in the air. And all of a sudden, the station seemed to cave in on itself. Wango. Nothing. Any statement? No, but you ought to see the hole. Oh, get statement, flathead. Where are you now? I'm over at the post office, right across the street. Pop. Pop. Hello? Hello? Hello? Frankie? Frankie. Operator. Pop. Pop, we got a flash. The United States Post Office just went. The whole darn city is going piece by piece. Don't lose your head, Albert. Hello? This is the composing room. About that Empire's fifth building store. Well, it's all new. We've just lost Penn Station in the post office. Get out a new banner head. New York City vanishing. What about copy? You don't need copy for a story like this. Tell our line of type operators to use their imagination. Albert. Pop. Anything else missing? Chrysler billing, maybe? Nothing yet, Pop. Oh. Anything reappeared yet? No word on anything. Maybe things are stabilizing. Crawl composing. Tell him to start rolling. Right, Pop. And find Sweeney. Telephone from downstairs a while ago. I forgot all about him. Mm. Tell him he's hired again. I'll print any statement that isn't in moral. Uh. Oh, pop. Here comes Mr. Trouble. Oh, now, take it easy, Colby. Hannah B. What are you doing at the city desk? Where's Sanborn? What's going on here anyway? Has everyone gone out of his mind? Listen, the Empire State, the Penn Station and the post office have all been missing for almost five minutes. Get away from that desk. You drop that telephone. Listen, I don'. Sheriff, Washington D.C. has been bombed by the Martians. I want you out of this office in two minutes. Albert Castle's extras. Pop, you get out your fire. Oh, you're not being raised. I'm not interested in the other papers. Just get out of here before I go start raving mad. Hey, Pop. Hey, Pop. Oh, hello, Srini. Where have you been? I've been trying to make up my mind whether to come up or not. When you left me hanging on the phone, I thought you was insulting me. I. Hey, how come you aren't on the desk? Oh, I'm Ken. Ken? Are you kidding? Oh, it's been coming. I really had the place jumping. You should have seen me, Sweeney. It was like the same San Francisco earthquake. I need a drink. How about keep forgetting isn't any Burleys anymore? No, just a big hole in the ground. Let's walk over. Want to browse around, Pop? There's nothing to see. Well, let's take a snoop anyway. Just for old Times sake. Well, okay, Pop, let's cross. We got the light. Well, will you look at that? Who'd ever thought that less than 10 minutes ago, there was a building here? Yep. Let's climb down and have a look. Sweeney. Well, what for, Pup? It's. It's getting then, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show. Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date? Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery. So you can keep your facility stocked, safe and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. Dark. You know we'll break our neck, Sweeney. Where's your old reporter spirit? Come on. Okay, but I don't see what you expect. Oh, easy, easy. Clean as a bone. Let's walk around a bit. See anything? Nah, just rocks. Pieces of the foundation, I'll bet you. Pop. Wait a minute. What? Will you look at this? So small, I almost missed it. I'll be a son of a. A perfect scale model of burleys. Less than 4 inches tall. What do you suppose this is doing here? I don't know. Can I help you, gentlemen? Patri, what are you doing down here? I'm looking for my motto. Thank you for finding it. Oh, this is yours, is it? Certainly. Now, if you'll be kind enough to hand it to me, I'll just put it back in my suitcase. You better give it to him, Pop. All right. Thank you. There we are. Thank you, gentlemen. I thought you just went in for model train. I have always been preoccupied with tiny things, but lately, I've been branching out. Well, I really must be going. Thank you very much. He's as loony as a bat. Ah, the geniuses are all crazy. I read it in a book. Sweeney, did you get a look in that suitcase? Sure. I seen it when he opened it. In the bar this morning. I mean, just now. Oh, why this morning when he opened his suitcase, he had a little round tube and a set of model trains in it. Nothing else. So this time he had three other models. So what? Nothing. Except they happen to be models of the Empire State Penn Station and the United States Post Office. There he goes, down the block. Pop, quick three. Quick three, come back here. He's starting to run. Here, here. Here's a cab. Come on. Catch up with that little guy running down on the block. Make it fast. Okay, M. There he is. Hold it, cabbie. Hold it. Come on, Queenie. Hey, how about my toe? Hey, you, bumps. Stop, gentlemen, stop. I warn you. Hey, Pop, he's got that little tube out of his suitcase. He's pointing. Grab him, Sweeney. All right, give me that thing. Let's go. My arm. Give it to me. Ah. There. I warn you. Never mind the warnings. Just you come along with us. We're gonna have a little talk. Take him up to the office, Sweeney. Pop. What? Where's the taxi? What? The taxi. If you look at the curb, you'll find your taxi. Jumping saints, Pop. Look at it. Now, gentlemen, perhaps the world will believe in the validity of the pertwee system of infinite acceleration. All right, Hannibal, now you start talking. I won't hold his hand. Sweeney, that's a pleasure. Well, Hannibal, let me out of this office. Talk. Never. Sweeney, where's the tube? It's right here, Pop. Now, Hannibal, I give you five seconds to talk, after which I'm turning this tube on you for a taste of your own medicine. Now, think it over. One. Two. No. Three. I hate them. Why should I save them? Four. All right, put it away, please. That's better. Now, how did you do it? Many years ago, Einstein posed the theory that if an object were sufficiently accelerated, it would gradually flatten out and eventually disappear altogether. Working on this approach, I evolved a method of accelerating the atoms within the molecules, setting an object spinning in four, rather than three dimensions. For many years, I tried to sell my idea to the railroad for condensing, freight and storage. And you start the thing spinning with this little tube. The tube sends out a whirling ring of electrons which engulf the object. Why did you turn it on those buildings? I was driven to it. Only something dramatic could shock the world into realizing my greatness. But you'll restore them. You brought back Grant's tomb. I can restore them, yes. Not can. Hannibal will. On one condition. Well? Did your paper give me full credit for my scientific achievement? Front page pictures. A complete Story. It's a deal. Wait a minute, Pop. We don't even work for this paper anymore, remember? Well, we'll take care of that little matter, Sweeney. Mr. Coleman, this is Pop Atterby. You've just rehired me. Now, if you'd care to step down the hall into my new office, I think I can show you something. Make your hair stand on end. I have three missing buildings in my desk drawer. Well, he's on fire. Says he's coming down here to have me committed to an institution. All right, Atterby. All right. What's going on here? I fired you. I ordered you off these premises, and this is a joke. Well, Mr. Carbon, you see these models? What about them? What would you say if I were to tell you that these 5 inch models are actually the Empire State Penn Station, the United States Post Office and Burley's Bar? And a taxicab all compressed 500 times? That there are people in them so tiny they can't see them. That even time is so compressed inside these buildings that movement is impossible. This is insanity. Who is this man? Sit down, Carbon. The show hasn't even started yet. Sweeney, put the taxicab out in the middle of the floor. Okay, Pop. Now stand back. Hannibal, here's the tube. Now do your stuff. Stand back now. Good Lord. I don't believe it. It's getting bigger. I reversed the polarity of the spin very gradually. What's the idea of blocking, trapping? You lousy bum. Hey, where am I? Hey, what happened? How did my cab get in this office? Take it easy, George. What is this? Who are you? Hey, ain't you the fan that skipped out on me? What is this, a bug house? Well, Mr. Colburn, I don't understand, but you do believe. Well, yes, yes, I saw it right before my eyes. Okay, well, then here's the deal. You give our boy Hannibal a front page spread with pictures. He'll take these other buildings back to the original sites and restore them. Just like they were with our cameras getting exclusive shots. Now, is it a bargain? Is it a bargain? I may not be the best newspaper man in the world, but this is the biggest thing since Noah's Ark. You're rehired as city editor at your old salary. My old salary? All right, all right. Plus a 500 bonus. Well, it's a deal, sweetie. Call composing. Tell them to double the size of the front page. Have them hold it for a red banner, full page headline. Got that? Right. Hello, Albert, this is Pop. Listen, I want all photographers up in my office right away. Call Research. Tell that girl to have Columbia send a battery. Big shots. Over to the former site of Penn Station. Happy Mike, Happy boy. I'm busy, George. Tweenie. What's the word? A Mustafa. All right, all right. What is it? All I want to know is how do I get my hack out of this office? You have just heard another adventure in time, space and the unknown world of the future. The world of dimension. How would you like to leave your home and friends for a trip that might last for 10 years or forever? You'll hear all about it on Dimension X next week when we present Shanghai Today. Dimension X has presented the Professor Was a Thief, an adaptation by George Lepperts of a story by L. Ron Hubbard. Featured in the cast were Arthur Maitland as Pop, John Larkin as Sweeney, and John Gibson as the Professor. Your host was Norman Rose. Music by Bert Berman. Engineer Bill Chambers. Dimension X is produced by William Welch and directed by Edward King. Three chimes mean good times on NBC. Tonight is the time for the premiere of NBC's gigantic Sunday night broadcast, the Big Show. Every Sunday evening, starting tonight, you'll hear an hour and a half of the greatest stars in radio. 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