
Doctor Davey 19xx.xx.xx The Happiest Man On Earth
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Dr. Davies
Presenting Dr. Davies, the happiest man on earth.
Chorus 1
Tain't what you do, it's the way that you do it. Tain't what you do, it's the way that you do it. Taint what you do, it's the way.
Chorus 2
That you do it that's what gets resolved. Tain't what you do, it's the way.
Chorus 1
That you do it. Taint what you do it's the way that you do it. Taint what you do, it's the way.
Chorus 2
That you do it that's what gets results.
Dr. Davies
Hello, Everybody. This is Dr. Davey calling with a bag full of happiness and a prescription of good cheer for everyone. These days we see a long face about every now and again and we get the idea that all is not well with some of you. That's where the old doctor comes in and gives you a lift. A lift right out of the blues with a smile and a song is a mighty good slogan and I'm here to prescribe both. So join with us for the next 15 minutes of laugh and sing. No matter if your voice is the kind that you should see and not hear, remember always. Taint what you do, it's the way that you do it.
Chorus 2
You can try hard, don't mean a thing. Take it easy, breezy that child will swing.
Patient 1
Oh.
Chorus 1
Tain't what you do, it's the way that you do it ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it ain't what you do, it's the.
Chorus 2
Way that you do it that's what gets resolved.
Patient 2
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Dr. Davies
That's what gets resolved.
Lizzy Tish
Oh, doctor.
Dr. Davies
Ah, nurse, you look just as beautiful as ever. Where do you get that beautiful complexion from?
Nurse
Oh, oh, any old chemist shop.
Dr. Davies
I get it. Your beauty. Your beauty isn't even skin deep.
Patient 1
Oh, doctor, you and I have been.
Nurse
Friends now for a long time, haven't we?
Dr. Davies
Well, yes, I suppose we have, but what of it?
Patient 1
Well, doctor, would you do me a big favor?
Dr. Davies
Well, if I can. Nurse.
Nurse
Doctor, would you make my wages a pound a week?
Dr. Davies
A pound a week? Listen, I give you 30 shillings.
Nurse
Now, I'd rather have a pound, if you don't mind.
Dr. Davies
You mean you want less money? Look, I don't get it, I'm afraid.
Nurse
Well, I think it's a good idea. You see, when Friday comes round and you don't pay me, I lose less.
Dr. Davies
Nurse, why don't you get married and go in for a little connubial bliss?
Patient 1
Little? Little what, doctor?
Dr. Davies
A little connubial bliss. Connubial bliss?
Nurse
I'm afraid I don't know what you mean.
Dr. Davies
Well, connubial bliss. Now, let me see. What binds women together and makes them better than they are by nature?
Nurse
Oh, corsets.
Dr. Davies
Nurse. Your comebacks are too straight laced for me. Let's get to work on some of these patients. Is there anyone waiting?
Nurse
Oh, yes, Dr. Al Thomas is out in the waiting room.
Dr. Davies
Oh, good. Send him in.
Patient 2
Why, hello, Doc.
Singer
Hello, Doc.
Al Thomas
Gosh, I feel terrible. I feel that depressed. Do you know, Doctor, I was so near death this afternoon, it just didn't matter.
Dr. Davies
Good heavens. What, did you faint?
Al Thomas
No, I was sitting in the mourning coach at a funeral.
Dr. Davies
Whose funeral was this?
Al Thomas
It was my brother. My poor brother. Fred's wife. Yeah.
Dr. Davies
Yes. It must be very hard to lose a wife.
Al Thomas
Hard? It's almost impossible, Doc.
Dr. Davies
Why, tell me. Tell me, Al, you're not married, are you?
Al Thomas
No, I'm not married. But you can take it from me, Doc, this proposal is a dangerous business.
Dr. Davies
How's that, Al?
Al Thomas
Well, you propose here and you propose there. And it's only a question of time before someone's gonna take you off. To give you an idea, there was a girl I used to know called Beulah. Now, I went with her for. I went with her for. Let's see, what did I go with her for?
Dr. Davies
Well, tell me, did you propose to her?
Al Thomas
No, I didn't propose to her at first. It was more in the nature of a proposition.
Dr. Davies
I'm sure she must have been a very nice girl.
Al Thomas
Ah, sure, Doc. She was nice. She came from a very aristocratic family. One of the earliest families, Doc, I get it.
Dr. Davies
Her father was a milkman.
Al Thomas
No, he was an astronomer.
Dr. Davies
An astronomer? Did he ever find anything on Venus?
Al Thomas
Well, no, not from the photos I've seen of her.
Dr. Davies
Oh. Hey, just as I thought.
Al Thomas
What do you think?
Dr. Davies
My good man, I've diagnosed your case. Sneeze again, will you? Mr. Thomas, do you know that you're suffering from alcoholitosis? That's what you got, alcohol. Hey. Oh, Doctor, you got beer breath. And another thing. How did you get that scar under your eye?
Al Thomas
Well, Doc, I got that from kissing the bride after a wedding ceremony.
Dr. Davies
Yes, well, isn't that the. The proper procedure? Always kiss the bride after the ceremony?
Al Thomas
Yeah, but this was two years after the ceremony.
Dr. Davies
Well, here's a tonic for you. Take it away. It's yours if you like it.
Singer
Sing a song of sunbeams Let the notes fall where they may Sing a song of sunbeams In a light fantastic.
Dr. Davies
Way show the blues you're busy that.
Singer
You just can't be annoyed and they'll up and go because they know so they're null and void People all are softies for a grin you give out and they'll give in People always love a jolly gen they might even make you president so sing a song of sunbeams Let the notes fall where they may Sing a song of sunbeams in the light fantastic way Life is never perfect, it isn't always wrong so the only thing to do is sing a sunbeam song.
Patient 1
I gotta see him.
Lizzy Tish
I just gotta see him.
Patient 1
Oh, I'm very sorry. I'm very sorry indeed.
Nurse
You can't see Dr. Davy today.
Patient 1
He's much too busy to see you. You'll just have to go.
Lizzy Tish
Listen, you can't keep me out of here. Nobody can keep me out of here. Doctor. Doctor. Oh, hello, Doctor. I hope you don't mind my coming in like this, but.
Dr. Davies
Well, look, if it isn't Lizzy. Tish. Look, what brings you here, Lizzie?
Lizzy Tish
Doctor, you just don't know what's been going on in my family, what with uncle and the people in the next flat and the termites in the pantry. But the things they said about my uncle. Not the termites. I mean the people in the next flat. You just can't imagine.
Dr. Davies
Yeah. Now, wait a minute, wait a minute. Look, just one little thing at a time, Lizzy.
Lizzy Tish
Well, you see, Doctor, my uncle really has very nice table manners. For instance, the other day I took him over to the hotel for dinner and he started eating using his fingers instead of a knife and fork.
Dr. Davies
Mm.
Lizzy Tish
Well, my aunt, she tried to stop him. She said it wasn't sanitary. But uncle said if the food isn't clean enough to eat with your hands, it doesn't fit to eat at all.
Dr. Davies
He sounds like a very troublesome uncle to me.
Lizzy Tish
Troublesome? Doctor, you just can't imagine. Well, do you know that uncle was put in jail for stealing hams down in the country? And my aunt, she said she was pleased because she figured he couldn't disgrace her anymore.
Dr. Davies
Put in jail for stealing hams.
Lizzy Tish
But one day she went down to the judge and begged to have uncle let out. The judge asked her why, seeing that uncle would only disgrace her again, and she said, we're clear out of hands anyway. And the people in the next class.
Dr. Davies
All right, all right, now, just let it go at that.
Lizzy Tish
Well, you should have heard the things they said.
Dr. Davies
No, no. No more, no more.
Lizzy Tish
Yes, Doctor.
Dr. Davies
Seems to me, Lizzie, you're heading for a terrible mental Breakdown? Now, just let's get one of two things straight. When were you born, Lizzie?
Lizzy Tish
Now, let me think now. No, no, I'll have to look it up in my diary, Doctor.
Dr. Davies
But, Lizzie, surely you can remember when you were born.
Lizzy Tish
Of course I can remember. Do you know, I could even remember the day I was born. And I'll never forget the surprised look on the doctor's face when I looked up and said, doctor, what am I, a boy or a girl?
Dr. Davies
And what did the doctor say?
Lizzy Tish
Well, he looks at me and he said, little baby, what else could you be?
Dr. Davies
You know, Lizzie, you remind me of that book, Gone with the Wind.
Lizzy Tish
Oh, I get it. Because I'm subtle and interesting.
Dr. Davies
No, because you're so darn thick. That's right.
Lizzy Tish
Well, isn't that funny? That's just what my boyfriend says. He's in the detective force, you know. Oh, gosh, he's clever, Doctor.
Dr. Davies
Just how clever, Lizzie?
Lizzy Tish
Well, one dark night a murder was committed. And in one hour, my sweetheart went out and got his man.
Dr. Davies
He got the murderer.
Lizzy Tish
Oh, I know. He got the man that was killed.
Dr. Davies
Nurse. Nurse.
Nurse
Yes, Doctor?
Dr. Davies
Nurse, I want you to make up a prescription immediately. The strongest pick me up you've got.
Lizzy Tish
Is that for me, Doctor?
Dr. Davies
No, it's for me.
Nurse
Oh, well, try a little of this, Doctor.
Patient 1
Daddy and Mother used to kid Grandma for living in a world of make believe they politely walk away at everything she used to say Ah, but my eyes glistened every time I listened to her lovely tales of make believe There was one that she used to tell that I remember so well Grandma said as she tucked me into bed There was once a princely fella Met a lovely Cinderella Long, long ago, long ago. And Grandma said in a short time they were wed In a world of joy and laughter they lived happily ever after Long, long ago, long ago. And Grandma said that someday this fairy tale would come true. Oh, she must have love that someday I'd meet you. For here we are. And it's just as Grandma said. You're a 20th century fella. I'm a modern Cinderella. So what to do? What to wed. Just as Grandma said.
Dr. Davies
Ah, yes, that's better. You know, Nurse, that's much better. If Lizzie Tish had stayed in here another minute, I'd have gone crazy. And I ask you, what would it be like if I went crazy?
Nurse
Oh, much the same as usual, I suppose.
Dr. Davies
Like another crack like that and you're fired.
Nurse
That wouldn't worry me. I'd get a job in the circus like my cousin. And it Wouldn't matter how often I was fired.
Dr. Davies
What sort of a job is your cousin? Guard.
Nurse
He's the human bullet.
Dr. Davies
What a brain. What a. I've got a good mind to call up the insane asylum and a stretcher.
Lizzy Tish
Oh, why? Don't you think it'll fit you?
Dr. Davies
Yes. Listen, how old were you on your last birthday?
Nurse
Oh, I don't know. Well, I haven't had my last birthday yet.
Dr. Davies
Yes, it can go on for hours. I can't stand it, you see?
Nurse
Now, Doctor, you just sit down over.
Patient 1
There and rest your time. Tired brain.
Dr. Davies
But I don't want to rest.
Nurse
Well, then maybe you ought to have a transfusion.
Dr. Davies
Now, look, what are you talking about?
Nurse
Well, there's nothing like a transfusion, Doctor. Didn't I tell you about Auntie Nelly? She's an old maid, you know.
Dr. Davies
What did she do?
Nurse
Well, she gave a sick man a pint of her blood for a transfusion.
Dr. Davies
That was very, very generous of her. And did the patient recover?
Nurse
No. Froze to death?
Dr. Davies
Yeah.
Lizzy Tish
Oh, Doctor. Doctor, pardon me interrupting.
Dr. Davies
Ah, hello. So it's you again, huh? Well, now, what do you want?
Lizzy Tish
Well, you know how it is. Do unto others what you would undo if they would do.
Dr. Davies
Ask or die. Yes, that's it. Lizzie, Lizzy, now stop for a little while and tell me what is on your mind.
Lizzy Tish
Oh, Doctor, I've got the most wonderful tip on the fifth race this afternoon.
Dr. Davies
A tip on the fifth race? Well, now, let's hear it, Lizzy. Is it hot?
Lizzy Tish
It's a cinch. The jockey has halitosis and the horse winds trying to get away.
Dr. Davies
All right, Nurse, we'll take the rest of the patients now. Send them all in, will you step this way, everybody. Okay, walk up. Ladies and gentlemen, every week at this time, I call my outpatients into my consulting room and make them a gift of a free prescription, the best tonic there is. Sing it with all you've got. Remember. Taint what you do it's the way that you do it Tain't what you.
Chorus 1
Do, it's the way that you do it Tain't what you do it's the way that you do it Tain't what you do it's the way that you.
Chorus 2
Do it that's what gets resolved Tain't.
Chorus 1
What you do it's the way that you do it Tain't what you do it's the way that you do it Taint what you do it's the way.
Chorus 2
That you do it that's what gets results. You can try hard don't mean a thing Take it easy breezy Then that jive will swing it ain't what you.
Chorus 1
Do it's the way that you do it ain't what you do it's the way that you do it ain't what you do it's the way that you.
Chorus 2
Do it that's what gets results.
Patient 2
Dr. Davy will be in attendance at this station at his usual visiting hours next week. If you've got any favorite prescription, be it ancient or modern, so long as it's tuneful, the doctor will be only too happy to make it up for you. Just send a note to Dr. Davy at his consulting room, care of this station.
Dr. Davies
It.
Podcast Summary: "Doctor Davey: The Happiest Man On Earth"
Podcast Information:
Overview: In this delightful episode of "Harold's Old Time Radio," listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio with "Doctor Davey: The Happiest Man On Earth." Hosted by the jovial Dr. Davies, the show combines humor, heartfelt interactions, and catchy musical interludes to deliver a prescription of good cheer. The episode masterfully weaves together amusing patient consultations, witty exchanges with a charming nurse, and engaging songs that underscore the show's uplifting theme.
The episode kicks off with a joyful chorus chanting the memorable line:
Chorus 1 (00:03): "Tain't what you do, it's the way that you do it. Tain't what you do, it's the way that you do it."
This catchy refrain sets the optimistic mood, emphasizing the importance of approach over actions. Dr. Davies then warmly welcomes listeners:
Dr. Davies (00:20): "Hello, Everybody. This is Dr. Davey calling with a bag full of happiness and a prescription of good cheer for everyone."
He introduces the show's mission to uplift spirits through laughter and song, inviting listeners to join in for the next 15 minutes of entertainment.
Dr. Davies elaborates on the show's purpose, addressing the occasional somber moods of listeners and offering remedies in the form of smiles and melodies. He reinforces the recurring theme with the chorus:
Chorus 2 (00:18): "That you do it that's what gets results."
This line underscores the show's central message: the manner in which one approaches life is as important as the actions themselves.
A. Dr. Davies and the Nurse: Dr. Davies engages in a light-hearted banter with his nurse, Lizzy Tish. Their playful dialogue showcases their camaraderie and sets the stage for the comedic elements of the show.
Dr. Davies (02:14): "I get it. Your beauty. Your beauty isn't even skin deep."
The nurse makes a humorous request:
Nurse (01:37): "Doctor, would you make my wages a pound a week?"
Dr. Davies amusingly misunderstands her intent, leading to a series of witty exchanges about marriage and "connubial bliss."
B. Al Thomas' Visit: Al Thomas, a recurring patient, shares his woes about family and failed proposals. His humorous anecdotes about his interaction with a girl named Beulah highlight his endearing naivety.
Al Thomas (03:04): "Well, I think it's a good idea. You see, when Friday comes round and you don't pay me, I lose less."
Dr. Davies diagnoses Al's predicament with playful sarcasm:
Dr. Davies (04:03): "Mr. Thomas, do you know that you're suffering from alcoholitosis? That's what you got, alcohol."
C. Lizzy Tish's Family Troubles: Lizzy recounts bizarre family issues, including an uncle who steals hams and unconventional table manners.
Lizzy Tish (06:14): "He started eating using his fingers instead of a knife and fork."
Dr. Davies humorously navigates her chaotic stories, ultimately suggesting she might be heading for a "terrible mental Breakdown."
A. First Musical Segment: A cheerful song about sunbeams and positivity plays, reinforcing the show's uplifting atmosphere.
Singer (04:43): "Sing a song of sunbeams Let the notes fall where they may Sing a song of sunbeams In a light fantastic."
B. Second Musical Segment: Another engaging tune encourages listeners to embrace joy despite life's imperfections.
Singer (05:03): "Life is never perfect, it isn't always wrong So the only thing to do is sing a sunbeam song."
These musical breaks not only entertain but also serve as thematic pillars, emphasizing the power of a positive outlook.
A. Lizzy Tish's Race Tip: Lizzy returns with a quirky tip about an upcoming horse race, blending her eccentric personality with humor.
Lizzy Tish (07:48): "Well, it's a cinch. The jockey has halitosis and the horse winds trying to get away."
Her playful antics and oddball advice add layers to the show's comedic charm.
B. Dr. Davies' Frustrations: Dr. Davies vents his exasperation with the unfolding chaos, highlighting the show's balance between humor and underlying messages about mental well-being.
Dr. Davies (10:27): "If Lizzie Tish had stayed in here another minute, I'd have gone crazy."
C. Nurse's Light-Hearted Responses: The nurse continues to infuse humor into the show with remarks about circus jobs and unconventional family members.
Nurse (10:42): "I'd get a job in the circus like my cousin. And it wouldn't matter how often I was fired."
As the episode draws to a close, Dr. Davies reiterates the show's uplifting philosophy, encouraging listeners to embrace positivity through song.
Dr. Davies (12:17): "Walk up. Ladies and gentlemen, every week at this time, I call my outpatients into my consulting room and make them a gift of a free prescription, the best tonic there is. Sing it with all you've got."
The final chorus echoes the initial theme, solidifying the episode's central message:
Chorus 1 (12:22): "Tain't what you do it's the way that you do it..."
Dr. Davies invites listeners to continue their journey toward happiness, ending the episode on a high and harmonious note.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
Dr. Davies (00:20): "Hello, Everybody. This is Dr. Davey calling with a bag full of happiness and a prescription of good cheer for everyone."
Chorus 1 (00:03): "Tain't what you do, it's the way that you do it."
Al Thomas (03:04): "I think it's a good idea. You see, when Friday comes round and you don't pay me, I lose less."
Dr. Davies (04:03): "Mr. Thomas, do you know that you're suffering from alcoholitosis? That's what you got, alcohol."
Lizzy Tish (06:14): "He started eating using his fingers instead of a knife and fork."
Singer (04:43): "Sing a song of sunbeams..."
Dr. Davies (12:17): "Walk up. Ladies and gentlemen, every week at this time, I call my outpatients into my consulting room and make them a gift of a free prescription, the best tonic there is."
Final Thoughts: "Doctor Davey: The Happiest Man On Earth" is a quintessential example of old-time radio's charm, blending humor, music, and heartfelt interactions to create an engaging and uplifting experience. Through Dr. Davies' witty consultations and the lively chorus, the episode underscores the timeless message that happiness often lies in the way we approach life's challenges. Whether you're a longtime fan or a first-time listener, this episode promises laughter, joy, and a hearty dose of good cheer.