Duffy's Tavern 1942-12-29 (071) Guest Eddie Anderson

Summary

Harold's Old Time Radio - Episode Summary

Episode Title: Duffy's Tavern
Original Air Date: December 29, 1942
Release Date: March 24, 2025
Guest: Eddie Anderson
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio

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Introduction

In this episode of Duffy's Tavern, originally aired on December 29, 1942, Harold's Old Time Radio brings back the humor and charm of the Golden Age of Radio. Hosted by Archie, the tavern becomes the central hub for a lively discussion about launching a nationwide radio show to promote Duffy's Tavern. The guest for this episode is the charismatic Eddie Anderson, known for his role as Rochester, adding depth and wit to the conversations.

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Planning the Nationwide Radio Show

[00:19]
Archie initiates the episode with a brainstorming session about expanding Duffy's Tavern's reach. He converses with Rochester about creating a national radio show that would showcase the tavern from "Coney Island to the Bronx."

• Archie: "Just think, Duffy, every week 10 million people will tune in and they'll hear D U F F Y Pasta Free S."

This segment highlights Archie's ambition and Rochester's role as a supportive yet witty valet.

[02:18]
The conversation shifts to casting, where Archie humorously contemplates replacing Jack Benny with himself, showcasing the light-hearted rivalry and comedic tension.

• Archie: "What do you mean? Can Jack Benny act as good as me? Can Jack Benny write a better script than me? Can Jack Benny be as funny as me?"

[03:00]
Eddie Anderson delivers a punchline that underscores the comedic prowess of Jack Benny, adding authenticity to the dialogue.

• Eddie: "Three out of three. Have a cigar." (03:00)

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Character Dynamics and Comedic Exchanges

[05:00 - 06:11]
The episode delves into interactions between Archie, Rochester, and Ms. Duffy, blending humor with character development. Ms. Duffy showcases her witty side, discussing her "identification bracelet."

• Ms. Duffy: "Look at my new bracelet. It's an identification bracelet. Good for blackouts." (04:30)

[10:54 - 12:12]
Archie probes Rochester about his experience working for Jack Benny, leading to a humorous exchange about Benny's frugality and Rochester's understated hobbies.

• Archie: "Pretty cheap, huh?" (11:04)
• Rochester: "Cheap. Do you know what his toupees are made out of?" (11:05)

This segment not only provides laughs but also deepens the audience's understanding of the characters' relationships.

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The Quest for the Perfect Sponsor

[15:14 - 22:00]
A pivotal moment occurs when Archie attempts to secure a sponsor for the new radio show. Clifton Finnegan, the "flypaper king," enters the scene offering a substantial budget, which leads to comedic misunderstandings and Rochester's exasperation.

• Finnegan: "Remember my slogan, Finnegan's Flypaper. Six for a buck. A bargain for you, but the flies get stuck." (20:43)
• Archie: "A million dollars, eh? Mr. Finnegan?" (21:16)

Rochester's frustration culminates in his decision to leave, reflecting the challenges of balancing humor with business.

• Rochester: "That's all, brother. First I get the Johnstown Flood, then I get the Chicago Fire. And now you give me the crash of '29. So long, brother." (21:49)

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Climactic Radio Program Performance

[16:09 - 19:50]
Archie and Rochester attempt to perform a segment of the new radio show, filled with witty banter and comedic timing. This reenactment showcases the intended humor and highlights the chemistry between the characters.

• Archie: "Ladies and gentlemen, a few minutes ago." (16:18)
• Rochester: "Hello, Mr. Archie?" (19:05)
• Archie: "What's that? That should have been a laugh." (19:17)

The performance, though filled with humorous attempts, ultimately underscores the complexities of creating engaging radio content.

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Conclusion and Farewell

[22:54]
The episode wraps up with a nostalgic farewell as Duffy's Tavern plays a song dedicated to the armed forces, resonating with the wartime audience.

• Duffy: "Duffy's Tavern was rebroadcast especially for you men and women in the armed forces of the United Nations by the Special Service Division of the War Department of the United States of America." (22:54)

This closing segment emphasizes the show's commitment to supporting the war effort and maintaining a connection with its listeners.

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Notable Quotes

• Archie: "What do you mean? Can Jack Benny act as good as me? Can Jack Benny write a better script than me? Can Jack Benny be as funny as me?" (03:00)
• Eddie: "Three out of three. Have a cigar." (03:00)
• Ms. Duffy: "Look at my new bracelet. It's an identification bracelet. Good for blackouts." (04:30)
• Rochester: "I don't think of it as making greenbacks. I think of it as a hobby." (09:42)
• Rochester: "First I get the Johnstown Flood, then I get the Chicago Fire. And now you give me the crash of '29. So long, brother." (21:49)

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Insights and Themes

This episode of Duffy's Tavern encapsulates the essence of 1940s radio comedy, blending sharp wit with relatable character dynamics. The interplay between Archie and Rochester highlights themes of ambition, rivalry, and camaraderie. The quest to secure a sponsor mirrors real-world challenges faced by entertainers of the era, adding a layer of authenticity to the humor. Additionally, the episode pays homage to legendary figures like Jack Benny and Fred Allen, situating itself firmly within the rich tapestry of old-time radio.

For listeners new to Duffy's Tavern, this episode offers a delightful glimpse into the humor and societal norms of the 1940s, making it a timeless piece that resonates with both nostalgia and classic comedic appeal.

Transcript

[Jack Benny]

With the AMEX Gold card, you can run your errands and grab a pick me up from Dunkin on Amex. Earn up to $7 in monthly statement credits when you pay with the Gold card at Duncan. Enrollment required terms apply. Learn [e-mail] US Explore Gold.

[Duffy]

The Special Service Division invites you soldiers, sailors and marines of the United nations to drop in at Duffy's Tavern.

[Archie]

Hello, Duffy's, where the elite meets eat. Ask you to manage your speaking. Duffy ain't here. Oh, hello, Duffy. Duffy, you know who's coming down here tonight? Rochester. Rochester. You know the guy, Jack Benny. Calls him up every week and says who just dismissed Mr. Ben. Yeah, Duffy, I was thinking what we need is advertisement. How would you like to put on a national wide radio show from coast to coast so that the name of Duffy's will be smudged from Coney island to the Bronx? Well, certainly Rochester would be in it. Just think, duffy, every week 10 million people will tune in and they'll hear D U F F Y pasta free S. Certainly, Duffy. How can we miss? Well, we practically got Rochester. All we need now is somebody to take the place of Jack Benny. And we got another Benny show. Where can we get another Jack Benny? Such people can be found. As a matter of fact, I got somebody in mind right now.

[Eddie]

Who?

[Archie]

You'll find out. Goodbye again, Duffy. Now, let's see. Say I get $10,000 of broadcast. Deduct from that 50 cents for one fiddle. Lesson to learn to play love and bloom. A buck and a half for toupee. Hey.

[Eddie]

Well, what you doing, Ms. Austin?

[Archie]

Eddie, I'm just figuring out what I'm gonna do when I take Jack Benny's place. Oh.

[Eddie]

Left to the jaw, right to the stomach. Left to the heart, right to the jaw.

[Archie]

What are you doing, Eddie?

[Eddie]

I'm just figuring out what I'm gonna do when I take Joe Lewis's place.

[Archie]

Don't sneer, Eddie. These jokes that I wrote will make me the King of the Cyclowats. All that I need is Rochester.

[Eddie]

That's all, huh? Besides, you is impossible.

[Archie]

What do you mean? Can Jack Benny act as good as me? Can Jack Benny write a better script than me? Can Jack Benny be as funny as me?

[Eddie]

Three out of three. Have a cigar.

[Archie]

What are you talking about? I'm just as funny as he is. See that? I made you laugh and I didn't even tell a joke. Look, Eddie, just shut your eyes. Listen to this. Hello, Don. What's that? I don't know. Just listen again. Goodbye, Don. Goodbye, Don't.

[Eddie]

Oh, that's Hitler in Russia.

[Archie]

Listen, Eddie, don't you recognize Benny when you hear him? You see the way I got this program figured out for a character like Jack Benny, I got me.

[Eddie]

So far you ain't got much. Continue then.

[Archie]

For Mary Livingston we got Ms. Duffy. For Don Wilson we got Dan Seymour. And for Rochester. Yeah, we got Rochester. Your part is practically the same as Rochester. You see, Rochester is my valet.

[Eddie]

And I'm your valet too.

[Archie]

No, you're Rochester's valet.

[Eddie]

Sort of a poor man's poor man.

[Archie]

Yes, sort of.

[Ms. Duffy]

Oh, I keep.

[Archie]

Oh, hello Ms. Duffy.

[Ms. Duffy]

Look at my new bracelet. It's an indentification bracelet. Good for blackouts.

[Archie]

What do you mean?

[Ms. Duffy]

Well, when you put the lights out in the living room, the fellow can always tell where you are.

[Archie]

Ain't it a little bit noisy?

[Ms. Duffy]

You should hear Vera Fogarty. She's got a cowbell.

[Archie]

Ms. Duffy, where did you get this couch compass?

[Ms. Duffy]

Uh oh, I got it from my boyfriend, Brendrid Tochenfelder. You see, he just finished painting the battleship the SS.

[Archie]

Uhuh. Careful, Ms. Duffy. No loose talk. See that poster? Loose lips sink ships. Especially with a dame like you. With all them sailors that you know.

[Ms. Duffy]

Arcy, you're always hinting about me and sailors. Why, the sailors I know wouldn't even fill a cruiser.

[Archie]

Oh no. I've seen you with that Vera Fogarty. The way you two get trailed on a Sunday, it looks like a convoy.

[Ms. Duffy]

All right, so I know a few sailors. But I never repeat any loose talk. Besides, when you're out with a sailor, how much talking do you do?

[Archie]

Well, you shouldn't do no talking these days. The word is mum. And that goes for Vera too.

[Ms. Duffy]

Oh, don't worry about Vera. She's doing her bit for the navy.

[Archie]

What do you mean?

[Ms. Duffy]

In case of emergency, the Admiral always knows where the fleet is.

[Archie]

I can believe that.

[Eddie]

Oh, Mr. Benny.

[Archie]

Yes, Eddie?

[Ms. Duffy]

What is this? Mr. Benny?

[Archie]

Ms. Duffy, what would you say if I told you that before the evening's over I may be the new Jack?

[Ms. Duffy]

Fanny, I'd say that'd hurt the country more than loose talk.

[Archie]

Now let's see now. I get $10,000 a week. Now Benny had Phil Harris. I'll use Van Steen. He worked cheap. Sixteen men. With Van Steden as a leader, that's $42. Maybe I'll do without Van Staden. That'll bring it down to $40, eh? What's the difference? Two bucks. He's got a big name. What else? Oh, Eddie. Yes, Eddie, Give Me that pencil and paper. I want to write a letter to Fred Allen.

[Eddie]

Why?

[Archie]

I gotta start a feud. Let's see. Dear Fred Alanoid. Oh, boy, that'll get him. You are a J, E, R, K, G. Hiya, Finnegan. Wait. Wait a minute. Let me look at you. Finnegan. Dennis Day. Finnegan, how would you like to be Dennis Day in my radio program?

[Finnegan]

Oh, I was coming at you. Just listen to this. We got no bananas. We got no bananas.

[Archie]

Quiet. Quiet, Finnegan. Day is done, but maybe we can use you for something else. Stick around. Now, Eddie, watch the cash register. I gotta go out and mail this letter to Fred Allen.

[Rochester]

Good evening. Good evening. I'm Rochester.

[Eddie]

You Rochester?

[Rochester]

Mr. Archie.

[Ms. Duffy]

Out.

[Eddie]

Mr. Archie. Out.

[Rochester]

Coming back soon.

[Ms. Duffy]

Coming back soon.

[Rochester]

Man, you're the shrimpiest looking echo I ever seen.

[Eddie]

So, you Rochester, huh?

[Rochester]

What do you mean, huh?

[Eddie]

You and me. I just can't help feeling that the dissimilarity in our appearance ain't enough to justify the difference in our salaries. Oh, imagine making all them greenbacks.

[Rochester]

I don't think of it as making greenbacks. I think of it as a hobby.

[Archie]

A hobby, huh?

[Rochester]

Yeah, collecting pictures of Lincoln. You see, out in Hollywood, everything is greener, short boy.

[Eddie]

Now, don't call me short boy. Cause if I had all that money stuffed in my shoes, I'd be just as tall as you are.

[Rochester]

Who stuffs money in their shoes? I don't stuff money in my shoes. Of course, I might have a taller.

[Finnegan]

Mattress than you got.

[Archie]

Eddie. It's Rochester.

[Eddie]

Rochester, may I present Mr. Archie.

[Rochester]

Oh, hello, Mr. Archie.

[Archie]

Oh, welcome to Duffy's, Rochester. Great place we got here, ain't it?

[Rochester]

Well, I been to a lot of nightclubs, but this is the Maxwell of them all.

[Archie]

Well, we're planning on having it redecorated.

[Eddie]

Yeah, we're gonna take down the wallpaper and turn it over.

[Archie]

Quiet, Eddie.

[Jack Benny]

Roger, with the AMEX Gold card, you can run your errands and grab a pick me up from Duncan on Amex. Earn up to $7 in monthly statement credits when you pay with the Gold card at Duncan. Enrollment required terms apply. Learn [e-mail] US Explore Gold.

[Archie]

How do you like working for Jack Benny?

[Rochester]

I'd rather not discuss it. Mr. Benny's very sensitive about his frugality.

[Archie]

Pretty cheap, huh?

[Rochester]

Cheap. Do you know what his toupees are made out of?

[Archie]

What?

[Rochester]

The hair. That Carmichael.

[Archie]

Hmm.

[Finnegan]

Bare hair.

[Archie]

Benny?

[Rochester]

Yeah, he's bareheaded.

[Archie]

With or without Rochester. How would you like to leave Benny and work with the best comedian In America.

[Rochester]

Uh, another offer from Fred Allen.

[Archie]

Nope, not Fred Allen. It's me.

[Rochester]

You a comedian?

[Archie]

In my account, I'm notorious for my comedy. You ought to see me at a party. I'm a riot and I do practically nothing. I pour a bucket of water in the piano, let the bathtub run over, stick me head in the goldfish bowl, and I yell, look, everybody, the Johnstown Flood. They die.

[Rochester]

They die, eh? Yeah, they're lucky. Do you do that kind of thing with all your friends?

[Archie]

Well, certainly.

[Rochester]

Oh, that's why you want me to come around. You're lonesome.

[Archie]

Listen, Rochester, believe me, I got a sponsor all lined up. And besides, with me, you'll be funnier than you've ever been in your life. Why, I am personally gonna write you.

[Rochester]

A joke like that Johnstown blood.

[Archie]

Even funnier.

[Rochester]

Funnier. Uh, here comes the Chicago Fire.

[Archie]

Oh, wait a minute. That's probably the sponsor now. Very big shot. Hello, Duff. Hello, Mr. D. Yeah, Rochester's here. We're discussing a radio program to advertise your monstrous organization. What can he sing? Rochester, how is your singing about like.

[Rochester]

Them jokes of yours.

[Archie]

Beautiful voice. Okay, Mr. D. Rochester, sponsor would like to hear you sing.

[Rochester]

Just a second. There's a slight matter of that stuff could add stature to my mattress.

[Archie]

You mean money?

[Rochester]

I don't mean excelsior.

[Archie]

Well, I couldn't pay you anything right away. Uh, this sounds familiar. Don't worry, Rochester. If this sponsor likes you, money is no object. Go ahead and sing.

[Rochester]

Music, please. Company zoot I'm out Sunday strolling company boot dig this suit with a belt.

[Finnegan]

To boot.

[Rochester]

What do they say when they see me coming their way? J J Jackson army sharpens attack with a belt in the bag Boy just to the brakes Mugging lightly killing the chicks Jackson, I'm as sweet as a beast with a pleading to see.

[Archie]

Paying.

[Rochester]

No mind to the conversation with my nose in the air nevertheless, I swear they holler you ain't only classy, you and sad and you sassy what a late shout when they see me cutting.

[Archie]

On out.

[Rochester]

Hurry on back. Holy papa, you sharp as a tack with a belt. No bag. Will the belt. No back with a belt in our back.

[Archie]

Hello. Oh, hello, Duffy. Well, how did you like it? Too much gravel. Well, okay. If you don't want to sponsor this show, I'll find somebody that will. I'll be another Jack Benny in December of you. Goodbye, sir. Be with you in a minute, Rochester. Hey, Finnegan. Finnegan, could you act like a sponsor?

[Finnegan]

A sponsor? Odd coming natural.

[Archie]

Good. I'LL tell you in a minute what I want you to do. Folks, we're going to act out this radio program of mine. Now, Ms. Duffy, you're going to be Mary Lilly. Don't forget what I told you, Finnegan. Okay, Rochester, we're all set to act out the radio program which I have wrote. You ready?

[Rochester]

What am I about to lose?

[Archie]

Just wait till you hear these jokes now. Okay, folks, let's go.

[Rochester]

Ladies and gentlemen, a few minutes ago.

[Finnegan]

A taxi pulled up to the studio and stopped with a jerk.

[Archie]

The jerk got out and here he is, that funny man. This is Jack's Archie talking. Where's my announcer?

[Rochester]

Hello, Jack.

[Archie]

Oh, hello, Don. My Don. What has Triumph Power got that I haven't got?

[Finnegan]

What, Jack?

[Archie]

Fuel. Get it done. Power. Fuel. Rochester. Rochester, did you ever hear a laugh like that?

[Rochester]

I've been hearing a laugh like that for years.

[Archie]

For years it's been ringing in your ears, huh? I can go along with the gag.

[Rochester]

Yeah, but first you gotta have a gag.

[Archie]

Well, look who's coming. No. Mary Duffy.

[Ms. Duffy]

Hello, Jack.

[Archie]

What are you laughing at, Mary?

[Ms. Duffy]

I'm laughing because I'm happy. I'm happy because my father and mother are in the iron and steel business.

[Archie]

The iron and steel business?

[Ms. Duffy]

Yes. My mother irons and my father steals.

[Archie]

Well, right chested. Did that one kill you? I thought you'd like it. Mary, is that a letter from your mother?

[Ms. Duffy]

Yes, this is a letter from my mother, Mrs. Duffy. I'll read it to you. My dear daughter. Ms. Duffy, your cousin Randolph was very embarrassed the other day. He walked into a restaurant and said to the waiter, do you serve crabs? And the waiter said, sure, we serve anybody. Oh, that reminds me. Regards to Jack. Your loving mother, Mrs. Duffy. P. S. Say goodbye to Jack for me.

[Rochester]

Pps say goodbye to him for me too. I'm leaving.

[Archie]

Rochester. Wait a minute. Come back here. The next is your big scene. Well, you call me on the telephone. Every line is a gem.

[Rochester]

A gem, huh?

[Archie]

Mm. The phone rings.

[Rochester]

Hello, Mr. Archie? This is Rochester.

[Archie]

Oh, hello, Rochester.

[Rochester]

You told me to mow your lawn, so I got some of my friends to help me. I figured the more the Merrier. Gem number one.

[Archie]

Keep going, Rochester. It gets even better.

[Rochester]

Say, Mr. Archie, I saw Carmichael the Bear this afternoon and he didn't have any clothes on.

[Archie]

What's that? That should have been a laugh.

[Rochester]

Give me one reason.

[Archie]

Why don't you get it? No clothes. Carmichael bear. You know the trouble, Rochester? You didn't read the line right.

[Rochester]

Oh, yes, I did. To my eternal shame.

[Archie]

Now wait A minute. Here comes the thing now that makes you the most important guy in the show. A phone call from your own valley. The phone rings. Answer it. Rochester.

[Rochester]

Hello, this is Rochester.

[Ms. Duffy]

Hello, Rochester.

[Eddie]

This is Westchester.

[Rochester]

Oh, hello, Westchester. How's the gas man?

[Eddie]

The gas man got a new girl. He just went down to the cellar to meet her.

[Rochester]

To me, not only are these laughs bad, but I ain't even getting them.

[Archie]

What do you mean, bad laughs? If the sponsor was here, he'd tell you himself that they're good. I said if the sponsor was here.

[Finnegan]

Pardon me. I am a sponsor.

[Archie]

Oh, indeed, sir.

[Finnegan]

I am Clifton Finnegan, the flypaper king. Remember my slogan, Finnegan's Flypaper. Six for a buck. A bargain for you, but the flies get stuck.

[Archie]

Oh, Mr. Finnegan, just what is your flypaper company prepared to offer for this here radio program?

[Finnegan]

Well, this here radio program is so funny. I am prepared to offer a million a week.

[Rochester]

My, that's a lot of fly paper.

[Archie]

A million dollars, eh? Mr. Finnegan?

[Finnegan]

That is my final offer. One million dollars.

[Ms. Duffy]

Finnegan, your mother just called up and said she sent you to the butchers an hour ago. She wants to know where's the soup meat.

[Finnegan]

Tell her that soup meat cost 20 cents and I only got 15.

[Rochester]

Uh. Oh, I'm getting out of here.

[Archie]

Wait. Wait a minute, Rochester. You see, the million dollars is the corporation's money. The 15 cents is Mr. Finnegan's private money. The rest of his fortune he lost in the stock market.

[Rochester]

The stock market, huh? That's all, brother. First I get the Johnstown Flood, then I get the Chicago Fire. And now you give me the crash of 29. So long, brother.

[Archie]

Where you going?

[Rochester]

Back to that good old California gold.

[Duffy]

Now, before we leave Duffy's Tavern, leave us. Put a couple of nickels in Duffy's jukebox. Duffy's Jukebox where the feet meet the beat well, the platter's spinning the needle's in the groove and here's the first number coming up. Duffy's Tavern was rebroadcast especially for you men and women in the armed forces of the United nations by the Special Service Division of the War Department of the United States of America.