Duffy's Tavern 1943-02-02 (076) Guest Brace Breemer the Lone Ranger

Summary

Podcast Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Duffy's Tavern 1943-02-02 (076)
Guest: Brace Breemer as the Lone Ranger
Release Date: June 7, 2025

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Introduction

In this captivating episode of Harold's Old Time Radio, listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio with the beloved classic, Duffy's Tavern. Featuring guest star Brace Breemer portraying the iconic Lone Ranger, the episode masterfully blends humor, drama, and nostalgia. Set in the bustling atmosphere of Duffy's Tavern, the show captures the essence of a time when families gathered around the radio to enjoy beloved characters like The Shadow, Dragnet, and of course, The Lone Ranger.

Main Plot Summary

The episode revolves around Archie, the ever-enthusiastic manager of Duffy's Tavern, who is determined to boost his theater's appeal by securing a personal appearance from the Lone Ranger. Archie's relentless efforts to persuade the Lone Ranger highlight the challenges and comedic misunderstandings that ensue when a legendary hero interacts with everyday characters.

Ms. Duffy, the intelligent and resourceful wife of the tavern owner, often finds herself mediating between Archie's ambitious plans and the practicalities of running the establishment. Their dynamic showcases a blend of camaraderie and lighthearted conflict, adding depth to the narrative.

Key Interactions and Notable Quotes

Archie's Persuasion Attempts

• Archie’s Enthusiasm:
  [00:55]
  Archie: "You know who's coming down here tonight? The Lone Rangers. And we're serving a special Western dish, frankfurter. Yeah, I'm calling them Hot Prairie dogs, huh, Duffy?"

• Archie’s Strategy:
  [04:00]
  Archie: "I'm doing this to give the Lone Ranger a touch of the kind of singing that he's used to. If this is the kind of singing he's used to, no wonder he's the Lone Ranger."

Ms. Duffy’s Supportive Role

• Ms. Duffy Encourages a Solo Performance:
  [04:22]
  Ms. Duffy: "Auntie, Eddie's right. Why don't you just let me sing alone?"

• Musical Interlude:
  [19:11]
  Ms. Duffy: "Faithful we'll ride the trail together."

The Lone Ranger’s Interaction

• Archie’s Request:
  [11:56]
  Archie: "Would you help me out by making a personal appearance at the Tivoli Theaters?"

• Lone Ranger’s Reluctance:
  [12:00]
  Lone Ranger: "Well, I don't know, Archie. I've been working pretty hard lately."

• Archie’s Frustration:
  [16:05]
  Lone Ranger: "Just a minute, Archie. Your attitude puzzles me. As a Lone Ranger, I try to represent the best elements of sportsmanship, fair play and adventure."

Climactic Confrontation

• Archie’s Ultimatum:
  [23:43]
  Archie: "Please, for heaven's sake, I got a headache. It's bad enough I've been hearing it all day. And at the end of the silver. Now, please beat it. Will you play?"

• Lone Ranger’s Compassion:
  [25:01]
  Lone Ranger: "But, Archie, that isn't nice. A cold, dark cellar. I think we ought to untie him."

Insights and Themes

The episode adeptly balances humor with heartfelt moments, reflecting the interpersonal dynamics of a close-knit community striving to achieve its goals. Archie's unwavering determination to feature the Lone Ranger underscores themes of ambition and the lengths one will go to attain success. Meanwhile, Ms. Duffy's pragmatic approach and the Lone Ranger's innate sense of justice introduce moral dimensions to the narrative.

The interactions between Archie and the Lone Ranger also serve as a commentary on celebrity influence and the responsibilities that come with it. The Lone Ranger’s reluctance juxtaposed with Archie’s ambition highlights the tension between personal obligations and public expectations.

Conclusion

As the episode unfolds, Archie's schemes lead to a series of comedic yet poignant events that culminate in a deeper understanding between the characters. The Lone Ranger ultimately embodies the virtues he represents, offering a resolution that balances both humor and integrity. This episode not only entertains but also pays homage to the enduring legacy of old-time radio and its iconic characters.

Listeners unfamiliar with Duffy's Tavern will find this episode both engaging and reflective of the timeless appeal of radio storytelling, enriched by memorable dialogues and charming character interactions.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Archie on the Lone Ranger's Persona:
  [16:14]
  Ms. Duffy: "Look, Cactus Charlie."

• Ms. Duffy’s Musical Talent:
  [19:23]
  Ms. Duffy: "Faithful we'll ride the trail together."

• Lone Ranger on Sportsmanship:
  [16:05]
  Lone Ranger: "As a Lone Ranger, I try to represent the best elements of sportsmanship, fair play and adventure."

• Archie’s Desperation:
  [23:43]
  Archie: "Please, for heaven's sake, I got a headache. It's bad enough I've been hearing it all day."

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This detailed summary encapsulates the essence of the Duffy's Tavern episode, highlighting key plot points, character dynamics, and memorable moments, ensuring an engaging read for both longtime fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Teen Advocate]

Use of flavored tobacco by teens is a crisis. Tobacco companies use flavors like cotton candy, watermelon ice and cool mint to hook kids like me. They seem harmless, but they aren't. Addiction to nicotine sets us up for a lifetime of health problems. Organ legislators can do something about it. Passing Senate Bill 702A will keep flavored tobacco away from kids. But there are just a few short weeks left for lawmakers to act. Take action to protect kids like me. @ flavorshookorgankids.org paid for by the Campaign for Tobacco Free Kids Action Fund.

[Lone Ranger]

The Special Service Division invites you soldiers, sailors and marines of the United nations to drop in at Duffy's Tavern.

[Archie]

Hello. Duffy's where the elite meets. Eat. Archie, the manager's picking. Duffy ain't here. Oh, hello, Duffy. Hey, Duffy. You know who's coming down here tonight? The Lone Rangers. And we're serving a special Western dish, frankfurter. Yeah, I'm calling them Hot Prairie dogs, huh, Duffy? You hike that Lone Ranger on the radio. You like them, huh? Even sent the wife for one of his masks. Duffy, ain't you a little old to be running around with a mask? That mask is for Mrs. Duffy. Yeah, I see your point. Say, Duffy, by the way, you know who else just come in to Moriarity? Yeah, with a black eye. You know, his wife wears flax and you caught him going through her pants pockets. Yeah, yeah, second story. Jackson's here, too. You remember Jackson, the burglar? The burglar? Yeah, in the army. Now he's a bugler. Well, when he wrote down his occupation, he just happened to leave out an R. Yeah. Having a little trouble. He's in a bit of a jam, Ducky. Yeah, he needed some dough, so he hocked the bugle. Now he says I gotta lend him $2 or Camp Dicks won't get up tomorrow. Hey, Ms. Duffy. Finnegan. Eddie. Yeah. Colone Ranger's gonna be here any minute now. Now leave us. Rehearse the song.

[Ms. Duffy]

All right.

[Archie]

Eddie, give us the key. Hit the radiator with the bong starter. Yeah. Finnegan. Finnegan. I think you were just a little off there. Try it again. Yeah, that's better. Now. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, go.

[Ms. Duffy]

Give me a home.

[Archie]

Where's the buffalo? Rain. Ernie. Wait, wait, wait a minute. Mr. Archer, you sure that word is rain? Certainly. Well, I think it might be. Rome, where the buffaloes roam. Rome? Eddie, how many buffaloes do you know that live in Rome? None. Then keep quiet. Now leave us. Start again. I know what the word is. What Room. Room? Yeah, where they live with a buffalo. Room. Yeah, I think you got it, Finnegan. Yeah. Look at that. Three white guys standing around in a type of soap to judge as this. Excuse me, but how does home rhyme with room?

[Ms. Duffy]

Maybe we should give the way home the western pronunciation.

[Archie]

Western?

[Ms. Duffy]

Yeah. Oh, give me a home where the buffaloes room.

[Archie]

Wait a minute, Eddie, where you going? I got a headache. I was gonna get a aspirin. Miss. Well, what's the idea of all this? Miss, I. Well, I'm doing this to give the Lone Ranger a touch of the kind of singing that he's used to. If this is the kind of singing he's used to, no wonder he's the Lone Ranger.

[Ms. Duffy]

Auntie, Eddie's right. Why don't you just let me sing alone?

[Archie]

You sing alone, Ms. Duffy. Your voice by itself will confuse the guy.

[Ms. Duffy]

Why?

[Archie]

Because coyotes only travel in packs.

[Ms. Duffy]

Yeah, but you see, in a western song, I'm different. I'm good. You see, in a regular song, I sing with my diaphragm, with my bronchial tubes and my larynx. But in a western song, I sing up here through the nozzle passes.

[Archie]

Listen, Ms. Duffy, tonight, if you so much as open one nostril, I'll massacre you. Ms. Archie, who's that fella coming in? Where? Oh, that's Sam Weisport. He manages the movie down the block. Hiya, Mr. Weisbord. Hello, Archie. How's things at the Tivoli? Colossal, Archie. I had a great picture yesterday. Pexed him in, stood em in the aisle, flight to capacity, took in $11. $11? How well was the movie? Oh, great picture. Deployed from a nation. Oh, revival. What revival? The Tivoli is strictly a first run theater. First run? I seen a fight of a nation years ago, but this is the first time in the Tivoli. Well, what have you got there? Tonight, nothing's special. A weekday show an our gang comedy, a hell road Torila, a Terry tune, four news reels eventually short between stooges, a crevel talk, a Donald Duck, a Popeye cartoon, two government shots in the covered wagon. Covered wagon, huh? Only one picture? Well, we're only having one feature because of our extra added attraction. What's that? A Lone Ranger cereal. What? Episode 0:15. You see, this is what I want to speak to you about, Archie. What? Well, frankly, the show, what I'm talking about is a little skimpy. So I'm wondering, is it possible that you could get me, the Lone Ranger, to make a personal appearance in the Ghibli? And I get him. Anything I ask him, he'll do. Yeah, him and me is pause. What? Pause. The western time. It means we're very close, like two peas in a pod. Well, that's fine. Look, please tell them that it's a great theater. And be sure and tell them our slogan. The best shows of all move to Tivoli hall and. Archie. Archie, my boy, you know that semi vice board is nothing but you bring me the Lone Ranger and I'll give you a free season pass. It's a deal. Goodbye, archie. Go on, Mr. Whiteboard. Oh, boy. A free season pass. Folks, our male singing Chantoose, Mr. Clark Dennis. Mr. Dennis will sing. I'm getting tired so I can sleep. Don't take it as no hint. I'm getting tired so I can sleep I want to sleep so I can dream I want to dream so I can be with you I've got your picture by my bed Will soon be placed beneath my head to keep me company the whole night through.

[Lone Ranger]

Or a.

[Archie]

Little while, whatever before I will see you soon Smile till reverly calm I hope you're tired enough to dream and please sleep long enough to dream and look for me For I'll be dreaming too For a little while Whatever befall I will see you smile till reveille call I hope you're tired enough to sleep and please sleep long enough Dream and look for me Or I'll be dreaming at home. Uh, what is it, Finnegan? Hey, look, don't mind if my kid brother Wilford comes down here tonight. Your brother Wilford? That's the short, fat ugly one, ain't it? Oh, no, the short fat ugly one is my sister. You remember my brother Wilford? He's the one with the brain. Oh, the black sheep with a family. Yeah, yeah, sure. Leave him. Come down here, Finnegan.

[Ms. Duffy]

Say, Archie.

[Archie]

Huh?

[Ms. Duffy]

I think I can help you get the Lone Ranger over to the Tivoli. I'll flatter him.

[Archie]

How, Miss Duffy?

[Ms. Duffy]

With flattery. I'll tell him he's handsome and that I'd even be happy to arrange a double date for us.

[Archie]

A double date? Who'd be the other couple?

[Ms. Duffy]

Katrina Yarbox and pronto.

[Archie]

Katrinki Yarbots. Ms. Duffy. We swindle the Indians enough over the Manhattan island, dear. Listen, you forget the Lone Ranger. I'll handle this deal myself. Announcing the arrival of the Lone Ranger.

[Lone Ranger]

Good evening, archie.

[Archie]

Good evening, Mr. Lone Rangers.

[Lone Ranger]

Oh, now wait a minute, archie. Why the Mr. Let be informal.

[Archie]

Informal, huh? Okay, whatever you say. Lonely? How was Things out in the white and woolly West. Are you having much trouble rustling them cattles?

[Lone Ranger]

Well, no more than usual.

[Archie]

Them cattle hustlers must be pretty tough sombreros, huh?

[Lone Ranger]

Sombreros? You sound like a real Westerner, Archie. Ever been out there?

[Archie]

Been out there? I was raised and born just a stone's throw from that Grant Canyon. Yes, sir. Many's a day me and me pinto would rent a couple of broncos. You know, go horseback riding together.

[Lone Ranger]

Oh, you ride, Archie?

[Archie]

How do you think me legs got this shape? From ducking on the subway turnstiles? But enough of this idle bantam. I'd like to ask you a favor. Loan.

[Lone Ranger]

What is it, Archie?

[Archie]

Would you help me out by making a personal appearance at the Tivoli Theaters?

[Lone Ranger]

Well, I don't know, Archie. I've been working pretty hard lately.

[Archie]

Ah, working hard. What does hard work mean to a guy like you? Guy with the muscles that's in you, Plenty of good red corpse suckles. Lots of that husky stamina, you know.

[Lone Ranger]

Well, I may have good red corpse knuckles, but I'm here on vacation.

[Archie]

But won't this is. This is for me, Archie. Your pard, your old saddle mate.

[Lone Ranger]

Sorry, pard. I'm afraid I've got to let you down.

[Archie]

Excuse me a minute, Wong. Ms. Duffy. Yeah, Ms. Duffy, you gotta help me out with this guy. Start turning on a charm.

[Ms. Duffy]

You think he'd go for me?

[Archie]

Certainly. I want you to meet the daughter of the establishment there.

[Lone Ranger]

Oh, so this is Ms. Duffy.

[Ms. Duffy]

Likewise, I'm sure. Oh, Mr. Ranger, you're so wonderful. See, I'll never forget the time I saw one of your movies with my boyfriend, Breckenridge Harchenfeld. Every time you put your arms around your horse, Breckenbridge did the same with me. And when your horse put his soft nose up against your cheek, I did likewise with Breckenridge. Oh, you'll go over big at the Tivoli, Mr. Ranger, and you'll be a good influence on some of them bums that hang out there.

[Lone Ranger]

Bum?

[Archie]

Please, Ms. Duffy, they are not bums. They're just nervous. Now, lone, don't leave. Ms. Duffy give you the idea that the civilis is a joint?

[Ms. Duffy]

Oh, no, it's a hot glass place. They charge a dime for adults.

[Lone Ranger]

Adults? Well, frankly, my friends are the youngsters.

[Archie]

Youngsters? That ought to do it. Hey, Finnegan, did your kid brother Wilford get here yet?

[Ms. Duffy]

Yes, I've arrived.

[Archie]

Oh, loan. Now, here's one of the kids who's going to be at the Tivoli. Tonight? You wouldn't want to disappoint him. Wilfred. Come here, Lone, say hello to little Wilfred.

[Lone Ranger]

Son, I'm mighty glad to make your acquaintance. Mighty glad. Wilfred, how would you like to ride the range with me on your own little pony with a trusting shooting iron at your side, rounding up a hustlin, bustling, rooting, tootin gang of outlaws.

[Ms. Duffy]

Archie, is this guy kidding?

[Archie]

Loan don't say no attention to kissing. You know, he. He don't know what he's saying. Do you, Wilfred?

[Ms. Duffy]

I am perfectly aware of what I am saying.

[Lone Ranger]

Now, just a second, son.

[Archie]

Archie, who is this?

[Ms. Duffy]

Denver Uncle Don.

[Archie]

Wilfred, This Denver Uncle Don happens to be none other than a Lone Ranger himself. You played the Lone Ranger on the radio, Wilfred?

[Ms. Duffy]

Unfortunately, yes.

[Archie]

What do you mean, Wilfred? Archie, it's ridiculous. One might almost be tempted to say.

[Ms. Duffy]

That one could enjoy this character only if one were exceedingly juvenile.

[Archie]

How would one like a nice smack in one's foot?

[Lone Ranger]

Now look here, son. I've been on the radio for quite some time now. I made thousands of friends call me man to man. Wouldn't you like to become a member of the Lone Ranger Club?

[Ms. Duffy]

I'd rather cut my throat.

[Archie]

Here's a piece of broken glass. Anyways, kid, they wouldn't let a brat like you into the Lone Rangers Club.

[Lone Ranger]

Just a minute, Archie. Your attitude puzzles me. As a Lone Ranger, I try to represent the best elements of sportsmanship, fair play and adventure.

[Ms. Duffy]

Look, Cactus Charlie.

[Archie]

When I came in here, I didn't know you, did I?

[Lone Ranger]

No.

[Ms. Duffy]

You didn't know me either, did you?

[Lone Ranger]

No.

[Ms. Duffy]

Let's keep it that way.

[Archie]

Here goes me past in a movie. Wilfred. Wilfred, come with me a minute. Where are you going, Archie? I'm going to take Wilfred for a little walk in the cellar. I'm going to show him where we keep the pickled pig's feet. But Archie, the cellar is damp. Wilfred's liable to catch a cold. Oh, would that be too bad. Come along, Wilfred. Take off your shoes for Uncle Archie. It I gonna go.

[Ms. Duffy]

No luck, Ari.

[Archie]

Ah, at a long range. He's gonna be leaving any minute. He ain't going to the Tivoli. That's no pass for me.

[Ms. Duffy]

Ari. There's one thing we ain't tried.

[Archie]

What?

[Ms. Duffy]

Flex and songs. I put s I n g. Ms.

[Archie]

Duffy, I have heard you s I n g and at s t I n. Forget it. But I guess after Finnegan's brother, little Wilfred, anything will probably sound good to the guy. Lone, do you like western songs?

[Lone Ranger]

I love them.

[Archie]

I love them.

[Ms. Duffy]

Too. You know, Mr. Ranger, there's something about a western song that reminds you of the West.

[Archie]

Yeah, Go ahead and sing one, Ms. Duffy. Lone, you ain't lived until you've heard this damn thing. Oh.

[Ms. Duffy]

Faithful we'll ride the trail together.

[Archie]

O.

[Teen Advocate]

Faithful in every kind weather when.

[Ms. Duffy]

You round up day are over they'll be painted white with clover for you oh, faithful power.

[Archie]

Tell me, what did you think of it, Lone?

[Lone Ranger]

Well, Archie, you said I haven't lived till I've heard her.

[Archie]

Yeah.

[Teen Advocate]

Nearly 90% of kids who vape say flavors are why they do it. A lot of the flavors that I've heard are like peach, mango, watermelon. It makes it seem like more childlike and innocent. Oh, I tried this once. It won't be that much of a problem. But then eventually it becomes a problem. It's time to restrict the sleep of flavored tobacco products in Oregon and protect our kids from nicotine addiction. Urge lawmakers to Pass Senate Bill 702A. Take action at flavorshookoregonkids.org paid for by the Campaign for Tobacco Free Kids Action Fund. We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms flyer today's style tip. When it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com Ooh, fierce. This has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior.

[Archie]

Wayfair. Every style, every home.

[Lone Ranger]

Well, do you think life is so important?

[Archie]

Mr. Archie, Mr. Weisberg coming across the street. Oh, the theater guy. Look, won, if you don't want to make this place more parent yourself, would you mind if I got a guy to imitate you?

[Lone Ranger]

Oh, not at all, Archie. I'd get a kick out of it.

[Archie]

Oh, thanks. Hey, Finnegan, come here. Finnegan, you are the new Lone Ranger now. Quick, put a mask on. Finnegan. Uh, help him help the West. Well, hockey is the Lone Ranger here. Yep. Sam, I have swing the deal for you. Ah, dad, Great night over there. Hey, Lone Ranger. Lone Ranger. Lone Ranger. Say hello to Mr. Weisbord. The hi ho Iceborn. Hi ho to you, too. Ah, you know, this is practically a thrill. The Lone Ranger. That's a thrill for me, too. The manager of the Tivoli. What's that? Hey, Sam. He means he probably heard of you in Hollywood. Oh, well, then this is a possible possibility. Lone Ranger. Tell Me as one picture man for the other one. How did you first get into the picture? I sneak that damn Lone Rangers talking about them sneak previews. Oh, yeah, I see. Well, tell me, my boy, how do you like Hollywood? To Hollywood. Oh, I'm not your father. Boy, what terrific names. Oh, dames, please. Long Ranger. What game? God, they're all nuts about me. Pardon me. Lone Ranger. I thought you lived a quiet life and was adorable just by children. Me, I hate kids. I'm just nuts about Daniel boy. Archie, Lone Ranger, please.

[Lone Ranger]

Just a second. Archie, this can't go on. I've got a career to think of.

[Archie]

Please, buddy, don't interrupt. We are talking.

[Lone Ranger]

But I'm the Lone Ranger.

[Archie]

Okay, I'm Claude Gable. All right, now go there. Leave us alone. Now, Ranger, as I was paying.

[Lone Ranger]

But I tell you, I'm really the Lone Ranger.

[Archie]

Would you please to go away?

[Lone Ranger]

You don't believe me. Listen to this.

[Archie]

I'll tell there. Please, for heaven's sake, I got a headache. It's bad enough I've been hearing it all day. And at the end of the silver. Now, please beat it. Will you play? Archie, who is this guy? Oh, some guy that walked in here. God, there's a lot of people imitate me. Yeah, yeah, they do, don't they? Are.

[Ms. Duffy]

Your mother wants you on the phone.

[Archie]

What do you think? He and the Lone Ranger. You just had a guy in the Lone Ranger. What's the difference? With the mask on, nobody knows what the Lone Ranger looks like anyhow. Wait a second. Nobody knows what it looks like. Give me that mask. Damn. Yeah. What are you going to do, Archie? Check hands with the new Low Ranger? Hi ho, Silver. Hi, ho, Silver. Well, won't pass or no pest. It was sure old nice of you to come down here.

[Lone Ranger]

Well, I had a good time, Archie. Oh, by the way, what did you do with little Wilfred Finnegan?

[Archie]

Oh, Wilfred. I got him tied up in the cellar.

[Lone Ranger]

But, Archie, that isn't nice. A cold, dark cellar. I think we ought to untie him.

[Archie]

Yeah, maybe you're right. If we get a chance next Saturday or Sunday, we'll do that. So on. Wa.

[Lone Ranger]

Now, before we leave Duffy's Tavern, leave us put a couple of nickels in Duffy's Jukebox. Duffy's Jukebox? Where the feet meet the beat. Well, the platter's spinning, the needle's in the groove. And here's the first number coming up.

[Archie]

Sam. Sa. Sa.

[Lone Ranger]

Duffy's Tavern was rebroadcast especially for you men and women in the armed forces. Of the United nations by the Special Service Division of the War Department of the United States of America.

[Archie]

It.

[Teen Advocate]

Use of flavored tobacco by teens is a crisis. Tobacco companies use flavors like cotton candy, watermelon ice and cool mint to hook kids like me. They seem harmless, but they aren't. Addiction to nicotine sets us up for a lifetime of health problems. Oregon legislators can do something about it. Passing Senate Bill 702A will keep flavored tobacco away from kids. But there are just a few short weeks left for lawmakers to act. Take action to protect kids like me@v flavors hookoregonkids.org paid for by the Campaign for Tobacco Free Kids Action Fund. We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home this is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms fly. Today's Style TIP when it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com Ooh, fierce. This has been your Wayfarer style tip to keep those interiors superior.

[Archie]

Wayfair Every style, Every home.