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Duffy's Tavern 1943-02-02 (076) Guest Brace Breemer the Lone Ranger
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Duffy's Tavern 1943-02-02 (076) Guest Brace Breemer the Lone Ranger
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Nicole Byer
We interrupt this program to bring you an important Wayfair message. Wayfair's got style tips for every home. This is Nicole Byer helping you make those rooms flyer today's style tip. When it comes to making a statement, treat bold patterns like neutrals. Go wild like an untamed animal. Print area rug under a rustic farmhouse table. From wayfair.com. ooh, fierce. This has been your Wayfair style tip to keep those interiors superior. Wayfair every style, every home. The Special Service Division invites you soldiers, sailors and marines of the United nations to drop in at Duffy's Tavern. Hello, Duffy's. Where do you late meet to eat? Archie, the manager speakin Duffy ain't his. Oh, hello, Duffy. Hey, Duffy, you know who's coming down here tonight? The Lone Rangers. And we're serving a special western dish. Frankfurter. Yeah, I'm calling them Hot Prairie Dogs. Huh, Duffy, you hiked our Lone Ranger on the radio. You like them, huh? Even sent the wife for one of his masks. Duffy, ain't you a little old, but be running around with a mask? That mask is for Mrs. Duffy. Yeah, I see your point. Say, Duffy, by the way, you know who else just come in? Moriarity. Yeah, with a black eye. Well, you know, his wife wears slacks and she caught him going through her pants pockets. Yeah, yeah, second story. Jackson's here, too. You remember Jackson, the burglar? The burglar? Yeah, in the army. Now he's a bugler. Well, when he wrote down his occupation, he just happened to leave out an R. Yeah, Having a little trouble. He's in a bit of a jam. Duppy. Yeah, he needed some dough, so he hawked the bugle. Now he says I gotta lend him $2 or Camp Dicks won't get up tomorrow. Hey, Ms. Duffy. Finnegan. Eddie Colone. Ranger's going to be here any minute now. Now leave us. Rehearse the song. All right, Eddie, give us the key. Hit the radiator with the bong starter. Yeah. Finnegan. Finnegan. I think you were just a little off there. Try it again. Yeah, that's better. Now. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Go. Go. Give me a ho. Where the buffalo's rain. Wait. Wait a minute, Ms. Archer. You sure that word is rain? Certainly. Well, I think it might be. Rome, where the buffaloes roam. Rome? Eddie, how many buffaloes do you know that live in Rome? None. Then keep quiet. I'll leave a start again. I know what the word is. What? Room. Room? Yeah, where they live with a buffalo. Room. Yeah, I Think you got it, Finnegan? Yeah, look at that. Three wise guys standing around and it takes a soap to. Excuse me, but how does home rhyme with room? Maybe we should give the word home, the western pronunciation. Western? Yeah. Oh, give me a home where the buffaloes room. Wait a minute, Mr. Eddie, where you going? I got a headache. I was gonna get a aspirin. Miss. Well, what's the idea of all this? Miss? Ot well, I'm doing this to give the Lone Ranger a touch of the kind of singing that he's used to. If this is the kind of singing he's used to, no wonder he's the Lone Ranger. Archie, Eddie's right. Why don't you just let me sing alone? You sing alone, Ms. Duffy. Your voice by itself will confuse the guy. Why? Because coyotes only travel in packs. Yeah, but you see, in a western song, I'm different. I'm good. You see, in a regular song, I sing with my diaphragm, with my bronchial tubes and my larynx. But in a western song, I sing up here through the nozzle passage. Listen, Ms. Duffy, tonight, if you so much as open one nostril, I'll massacre you. Ms. Archie, who's that fella coming in? Where? Oh, that's Sam Weisbord. He manages the movie down the block. Hiya, Mr. Weisbord. Hello, Archie. How's things at the Tivoli? Colossal, Archie. I had a great picture yesterday. Pexed him in, stood em in the aisle, plate to capacity, took in $11. $11? How well was the movie? Oh, great picture. Deployed from a Nation. Oh, revival. What revival? The Tivoli is strictly a first run theater. First run? I seen a fight of a Nation years ago, but this is the first time in the Tivoli. Well, what have you got there tonight? Eh, nothing special. A weekday show, an our Gang comedy, a Hell Roach Torilla, a Terry Tune, four newsreels, a Benchley short, the Three Stooges, a Crevel Talk, a Donald Duck, a Popeye cartoon, two government shots and a covered wagon. Covered wagon, huh? Only one picture? Well, we're only having one feature because of our extra added attraction. What's that? A Lone Ranger cereal. What episode? All 15. You see, this is what I want to speak to you about, Archie. What? Well, frankly, the show, what I'm talking about is a little skimpy. So I'm wondering is possible that you could get me the Lone Ranger to make a personal appearance in the Ghibli and I get him anything. I ask him, he'll Do? Yeah. Him and me. It's pods. What? Pause the Western time. It means we're very close, like two peas in a pod. Well, Doc, Fine. Look. Please tell them that it's a great theater. And be sure and tell them our slogan. The best shows of all move to Tivoli hall. And. Archie. Archie, my boy, you know that Sammy Weissboard is nothing for nothing. You bring me the Lone Ranger and I'll give you a free season pass. It's a deal. Goodbye, archie. Go. Wrong. Mr. Whiteboard. Oh, boy. A free season pass. Folks, our male singing Chantoose, Mr. Clark Dennis. Mr. Dennis will sing. I'm getting tired so I can sleep. Don't take it as no hint. I'm getting tired so I can sleep I want to sleep so I can dream I want to dream so I can be with you I've got your picture by my bed Will soon be placed beneath my head to keep me company the whole night through Or a little while whatever Before I will see you smile till reverley comes I hope you're tired enough to dream and please sleep long enough to dream and look for me For I'll be dreaming soon For a little while of whatever befall I will see you to smile till reverly come I hope you're tired enough to sleep and please sleep long enough to dream and look for me For I'll be dreaming at home. Uh, hi, Art. Uh, what is it, Finnegan? Hey, look, don't mind if my chest brother Wilford comes down here tonight. Your brother Wilford? That's the short, fat, ugly one, ain't it? Oh, no. The short, fat, ugly one is my sister. You remember my brother Wilford? He's the one with the brain. Oh, the black sheep with a family. Yeah, yeah, sure. Leave them. Come down here, Finnegan. Say, Archie. Huh? I think I can help you get the Lone Ranger over to the Tivoli. I'll flatter him. How, Miss Duffy? With flattery. I'll tell him he's handsome and that I'd even be happy to arrange a double date for us. A double date? Who'd be the other couple? Katrinka ya box. And Ponto te Trinka ya butts me. We swindle the Indians enough over the Manhattan island deal. Listen, you forget the Lone Ranger. I'll handle this deal myself. Announcing the arrival of the Lone Ranger. Good evening, Archie. Oh, good evening, Mr. Lone Rangers. Well, now, wait a minute, Archie. Why the mister? Let's be informal. Informal, huh? Okay, whatever you say. Lonely? How was things out in the White and woolly West. Are you having much trouble rustling them cattles? Well, no more than usual. Them cattle hustlers must be pretty tough sombreros, huh? Sombreros? You sound like a real Westerner, Archie. Ever been out there? Been out there? I was raised and born just a stone's throw from that Grant Canyon. Yes, sir. Many's a day me and me pinto would rent a couple of broncos. You know, go horseback riding together. Oh, you ride, Archie? How do you think me legs got this shape? From ducking on the subway turnstiles? But enough of this idle bantam. I'd like to ask you a favor, Loan. What is it, Archie? Would you help me out by making a personal appearance at the Tivoli Theaters? I don't know, Archie. I've been working pretty hard lately. Ah, working hard. What does hard work mean to a guy like you? Guy with the muscles that's in you, Plenty of good red corpse suckles. Lots of that husky stamina, you know? Well, I may have good red corpse knuckles, but I'm here on vacation. But won't this is. This is for me, Archie. Your pard, your old saddle mate. Sorry, pard. I'm afraid I've got to let you down. Excuse me a minute, won't. Ms. Duffy? Yeah, Ms. Duffy, you gotta help me out with this guy. Start turning on a charm. You think he'd go for me? Certainly. I want you to meet the daughter of the establishment there. Oh, so this is Ms. Duffy. Likewise. I'm cured. Oh, Mr. Ranger, you're so wonderful. See, I'll never forget the time I saw one of your movies with my boyfriend, Breckenridge Hartford. Every time you put your arms around your horse, Breckenridge did the same with me. And when your horse put his soft nose up against your cheek, I did likewise with Breckenbridge. Oh, you'll go over big at the Tivoli, Mr. Ranger, and you'll be a good influence on some of them bums that hang out there. Bum? Please, Ms. Duffy, they are not bums. They're just nervous. Now, loan, don't leave. Ms. Duffy give you the idea that the pivotal is a joint? Oh, no, it's a hot glass place. They charge a dime for adults. Adult? Well, frankly, my friends are the youngsters. The youngsters? Man, that ought to do it. Hey, Finnegan, did your kid brother Wilfred get here yet? Yes, I've arrived. Oh, Loan. Now, here's one of the kids who's going to be at the Tivoli tonight. You wouldn't want to disappoint him. Wilfred. Come in, Lone, say hello to little Wilfred. Son, I'm mighty glad to make your acquaintance. Mighty glad. Wilfred, how would you like to ride the range with me on your own little pony with a trusting shooting iron at your side, rounding up a hustlin bustling rootin tootin gang of outlaws. Archie, is this guy kidding? Won, don't pay no attention to kidding. Excited? You know, he. He don't know what he's saying, huh? Do you, Wilfred? I am perfectly aware of what I am saying. Now, just a second, son. Archie, who is this Denver Uncle Don? Wilfred, this Denver Uncle Don happens to be none other than a Lone Ranger himself. You played the Lone Ranger on the radio, Wilfred? Unfortunately, yes. What do you mean, Wilfred? Archie, it's ridiculous. One might almost be tempted to say that one could enjoy this character only if one were exceedingly juvenile. How would one like a nice smack in one's foot? Now look here, son. I've been on the radio for quite some time now. I made thousands of friends call me man to man. Wouldn't you like to become a member of the Lone Ranger Club? I'd rather cut my throat. Here's a piece of broken glass. Anyway, kid, they wouldn't let a brat like you into the Lone Rangers Club. Just a minute, Archie. Then your attitude puzzles me. As a Lone Ranger, I try to represent the best elements of sportsmanship, fair play and adventure. Look, Cactus Charlie, when I came in here, I didn't know you, did I? No. You didn't know me either, did you? No. Let's keep it that way. Here goes me personal. Wilfred. Wilford, come with me a minute. Where are you going, Archie? I'm going to take Wilfred for a little walk in the cellar. I'm going to show him where we keep the pickled pig's feet. But, Archie, the cellar is damp. Wilford's liable to catch a cold. Oh, would that be too bad. Come along, Wilford. Take off your shoes for Uncle Archie. It no luck, Archie at a long range. He's going to be leaving any minute. He ain't going to the Tivoli. That's no pass for me. Archie, there's one thing we ain't tried. What? Sweats and songs I put s I n g. Ms. Duffy, I have heard you s I n g and at s t I n. Forget it. But I guess after Finnegan's brother, little Wilfred, anything will probably sound good to the guy. Lone, do you like Western songs? I love them. I love them, too. You know, Mr. Ranger, there's something about a western song that reminds you of the West. Yeah, Go ahead and sing one, Miss Duffy. Lone. You ain't lived until you've heard this damn thing. Oh, faithful we'll ride the trail together O faithful in every kind of weather when you round up days are over they'll be past as white with clover for you oh, faithful power Tell me, what did you think of it? Loan well, Archie, you said I haven't lived till I've heard her. Yeah, Ryan Seacrest here. When you have a busy schedule, it's important to maximize your downtime. One of the best ways to do that is by going to chumbacasino.com. chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino games like spin slots, bingo and solitaire that you can play for free for a chance to redeem some serious prizes. So hop on to chumbacasino.com now and live the Chumba life. Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by law 21/ Terms and Conditions apply. Well, do you think life is so important? Mr. Archie? Mr. Weisberg. Coming across the street. Oh, the theater guy. Look won. If you don't want to make this place more apparent to yourself, would you mind if I got a guy to imitate you? Oh, not at all, Archie. I'd get a kick out of it. Oh, thanks. Hey, Finnegan, come here. Finnegan. You are the new Lone Ranger. Now. Quick, put a mask on. Finnegan. Uh, help him. Help the West. Well, hockey. Is the Lone Ranger here? Yep. Sam, I have swung the deal for you. Ah, dad, Great night over there. Hey, Lone Ranger. Lone Ranger. Lone Ranger. Say hello to Mr. Weisbord. The hi Ho Iceborn. Hi Ho to you, too. Ah, you know, this is practically a thrill. The Lone Ranger. That's a thrill for me, too. The manager of the Tivoli. What's that? Hey, Sam, he means he probably heard of you in Hollywood. Oh, well, then this is a possible possibility. Lone Ranger. Tell me, as one picture man for the other one, how did you first get into the picture? I sneak that damn Lone Rangers talking about them sneak previews. Oh, yeah, I see. Well, tell me, my boy, how do you like Hollywood? To Hollywood. Oh, I'm not your father. Boy, what terrific names. Oh, dames, please. Long Ranger. What dam y. They're all nuts about me. Pardon me. Lone Ranger. I thought you lived a quiet life and was adorable just by children. Me, I hate kids. I'm just nuts about Daniel boy. Lone Ranger, please. Just a second, Archie. This can't go on. I've got a career to think. Please, buddy, don't interrupt. We are talking. But I'm the Lone Ranger. Okay? I'm Clown Gable. All right. Now go away. Leave us alone. Now, Ranger as I was, Pa, but I tell you, I'm really the Lone Ranger. Would you please to go away? You don't believe me? Listen to this. I'll. Silver, please. For heaven's sakes, I got a headache. It's bad enough I've been hearing it all day. And he ends at the edge of the silver. Now, please be it. Will you play? Archie, who is this guy? Oh, some guy that walked in here. God, there's a lot of people imitate me. Yeah. Yeah, they do, don't they? Here they are. Your mother wants you on the phone. What is this? He and the Lone Ranger? The other guy and the Lone Ranger. What's the difference? With the mask on, nobody knows what the Lone Ranger looks like anyhow. They got seconds. Nobody knows what he looks like. Give me that mask. Damn. Yeah. What are you gonna do, Archie? Shake hands with the new Lo Ranger? Hi ho, Silver. Hi ho, Sil. Well, won't pass or no pass. It was so old. Nice of you to come down here. Well, I had a good time, Archie. Oh, by the way, what did you do with little Wilfred Finnegan? Oh, Wilfred. I got him tied up in the cellar. But, Archie, that isn't nice. Cold, dark cellar. I think we ought to untie him. Yeah, maybe you're right. If we get a chance next Saturday or Sunday, we'll do that. So on wa. Now, before we leave Duffy's Tavern, leave us put a couple of nickels in Duffy's jukebox. Duffy's Jukebox where the feet meet the beat well, the platter's spinning the needle's in the groove and here's the first number coming up. SA Duffy's Tavern was rebroadcast especially for you men and women in the Armed Forces of the United nations by the Special Service Division of the War Department of the United States of America. Ryan Seacrest here. When you have a busy schedule, it's important to maximize your downtime. 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