Duffy's Tavern 1945-05-25 (172) Archie Impersonates Opera Star

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode: Duffy's Tavern 1945-05-25 (172) Archie Impersonates Opera Star
Date: August 27, 2025
Host: Harolds Old Time Radio
Original Air Date: May 25, 1945

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Episode Overview

This episode of Duffy’s Tavern showcases a classic comedic setup revolving around Archie, the lovable manager, who finds himself longing for his lost love, Dolly Snaffle. The twist? Dolly has ditched him for an opera singer, Windheim. Archie, in a desperate (and hilarious) attempt to get her back, concocts a scheme to convince Dolly that he himself is a great opera star — with less than harmonious results. The sitcom’s trademark mix of wordplay, malapropisms, and musical parody is on full display, with the banter bouncing between Archie, his friends Eddie and Finnegan, Dolly, and the unsuspecting Windheim.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Archie's Heartache and the Opera Rival (00:20 - 07:02)

• Archie, on the phone to Duffy, laments the state of the tavern and his disastrous romantic life, peppered with humorous asides about sailors and Duffy’s wife.

  • Quote:

    “You heard that sailors don’t spend dough? No, Duffy. It’s just that their pants are so tight they can’t get their hands in their pockets.” — Archie (00:27)

• Archie and Eddie discuss the pain of Dolly having left Archie for Windheim, the opera singer. Archie is incredulous about losing out to someone he sees as “dull and stupid and unattractive.”

  • Quote:

    “But to that crumb opera singer Windheim. The guy is dull and stupid and unattractive. What has he got that I ain’t got?” — Archie (05:43)

Regrets, Faded Dreams, and Absurd Aspirations (07:02 - 15:19)

• Archie regrets ignoring his mother's encouragement to pursue culture and misinterprets his lost chance at stardom.

  • Quote:

    “When I was a kid, I had one of them real velvet iron lung voices. I used to be known throughout the neighborhood for it.” — Archie (07:03)

• Finnegan shares his own “romance” — a bubble gum-fueled friendship foiled by wartime shortages.

  • Quote:

    “We used to go to the park on Sunday afternoons and sit by the lake and chew bubble gum together. So? It was so sweet.” — Finnegan (09:18)
    “Well, it was one of those things. The war came along and we couldn’t get no more bubble gum.” — Finnegan (09:35)

• Archie and Windheim banter, revealing that Dolly is primarily captivated by Windheim’s singing, not his charm. This inspires Archie’s comedic mimicry plot, using the old showbiz gag of lip-syncing to someone else’s voice.

The Great Opera Deception Plan (13:04 - 15:27)

• Archie, inspired by an anecdote about movie actor Eddie Bracken “mouthing” while Bing Crosby provides the real singing, plots to use the same subterfuge with Windheim hidden behind the bar (13:16 - 14:44).

• Eddie, Archie’s right-hand man, is roped in as a “prop man” for the ruse.

  • “As soon as Dolly comes in, you go over and hide behind the bar... when I raise me right hand... the band starts to play... you start singing, I’ll move my mouth, and Dolly thinks it’s me.” — Archie, outlining his convoluted scheme (14:33)

Archie's Faux Operatic Triumph (15:27 - 28:34)

• Dolly arrives, eager for her “little opera singer” — but Archie intercepts her, pretending he is the true vocal talent.

  • Quote:

    “What would you say if I told you that I was a singer first?” — Archie (16:46) “Dolly, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. I am none other than him.” — Archie (16:53)

• Archie brags outrageously about his operatic accomplishments (including singing duets with “Caruso”), in classic Duffy’s Tavern fashion laden with malapropisms and tall tales.

  • Quote:

    “Italy, my dear. In Italy, I was the first tenor, what they called a primo canera. Yep, it was In Italy that I first sang duets with Caruso.”
    “You sang with Caruso?”
    “Oh, sure. Good old Robinson. Yep. I’ll never forget him.”
    — Archie and Dolly (18:14 - 18:37)

The Climax: The Local "Opera" Debut (24:16 - 28:39)

• Archie finally prepares to “sing” — with Windheim providing the actual vocals from his hiding place.

  • The crew go through elaborate comedic rituals, including a mock “question period about opera.”
    • Quote:

      “The opera is... well, it’s a form of... which has been set to music for want of a better medium.” — Archie, stalling for time (25:24)

• The performance commences, with Archie grandly lip-syncing and the assembled crowd (and Dolly) mostly bemused but surprisingly admiring, until the deception is (predictably) revealed.

• Most Memorable Moment:

  • Quote:

    “Ladies and gentlemen, I am about to foist on you the greatest shock you ever had. I, Archie, am an opera singer. Surprised? Yes. I’ve been hiding me light under a bushel for these many years. But tonight, the butterfly comes out of its raccoon.” — Archie (24:26)

• When the trick is exposed, Dolly is affronted, storming off, while Archie’s friends and patrons revel in the ridiculousness of the scheme.

  • Quote:

    “Archie, what is this? Who is that singing?” — Dolly (28:34)
    “I guess it must be me.” — Archie (28:39)
    “Well, of all the low down tricks. I’m getting out of here.” — Dolly (28:42)

Final Gags & Curtain Call (28:39 - 29:38)

• Archie, still speaking to Duffy on the phone, claims that singing and talking at the same time is “one of them freaks of nature” and quickly returns to his comedic, self-effacing self.
  • Quote:

    “How come I could sing and talk at the same time? A very good question. Well, it’s one of them freaks of nature, Duffy. I may never be able to do it again.” — Archie (29:38)

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Notable Quotes & Exchanges

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 00:27 | Archie | “You heard that sailors don’t spend dough? No, Duffy. It’s just that their pants are so tight they can’t get their hands in their pockets.” | | 07:03 | Archie | “When I was a kid, I had one of them real velvet iron lung voices. I used to be known throughout the neighborhood for it.” | | 09:35 | Finnegan | “Well, it was one of those things. The war came along and we couldn’t get no more bubble gum.” | | 14:33 | Archie | “As soon as Dolly comes in, you go over and you hide behind the bar... when I raise me right hand... the band starts to play... you start singing, I’ll move me mouth, and Dolly thinks it’s me.” | | 16:53 | Archie | “Dolly, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. I am none other than him.” | | 18:14–18:37 | Archie / Dolly | “Italy, my dear. In Italy, I was the first tenor, what they called a primo canera. Yep, it was In Italy that I first sang duets with Caruso.” “You sang with Caruso?” “Oh, sure. Good old Robinson...” | | 24:26 | Archie | “...the butterfly comes out of its raccoon. Yes, tonight I shall unveil my glorious voice.” | | 25:24 | Archie | “The opera is... well, it’s a form of... which has been set to music for want of a better medium.” | | 28:39 | Dolly / Archie | “Archie, what is this? Who is that singing?” “I guess it must be me.” | | 29:38 | Archie | “Well, it’s one of them freaks of nature, Duffy. I may never be able to do it again.” |

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Memorable Moments and Comedy Highlights

• Finnegan’s Bubble Gum Romance (09:18 - 09:45): A beautifully absurd and innocent take on young love gone sour because of World War II’s “bubble gum rationing.”
• Archie and the Opera Masquerade (16:46 - 19:54): The ever-inflating lies about Archie's operatic past, filled with absurdist logic and clueless bravado, lampoon classic showbiz braggarts.
• The Lip-sync Opera (24:16 - 28:34): The convoluted, slapstick setup for Archie’s performance culminates in a mock operatic moment blending vaudeville timing with sitcom farce.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Archie’s Opening Banter and Heartache: 00:20 – 07:02
• Finnegan’s Bubble Gum Story: 09:12 – 09:45
• Archie’s Scheme is Hatched: 13:04 – 15:27
• Archie Courts Dolly as an 'Opera Singer': 15:27 – 19:54
• Archie’s (Fake) Operatic Debut: 24:16 – 28:34
• Revealing the Ruse & Dolly's Reaction: 28:34 – 29:38

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Conclusion

This Duffy’s Tavern episode stands as a delightful snapshot of Golden Age radio comedy: clever, character-driven, blending the farcical with the endearing. Archie’s impersonation attempts and wild fibs, the witty banter with Eddie and Finnegan, and the episode’s brisk pace make for a classic audio sitcom that still delivers laughs today.

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Transcript

[A]

We take you now to Duffy's Tavern.

[B]

Hello, Duffy's Tavern. Where the fleet meets Eat. Archie, the manager speaking. Duffy ain't here.

[C]

Oh, hello, Duffy.

[B]

Duffy, you ought to see the joint tonight. Full of sailors. Sailors? The male branch of the waves. Yeah, a lot of really great guys, though, Duffy. Huh? You heard that sailors don't spend dough? No, Duffy. It's just that their pants are so tight they can't get their hands in their pockets. Huh? I don't know. I guess they just come off a. Which reminds me, how's your wife, huh? What? She lost weight. How much? She went down from 350 to 347. How'd she do it? Summer underwear, huh? Well, look, duppy, just between you and me, what is it with her? Oh, the doctor says it's glandular, huh? To me it looks globular. Oh, it's all in the thyroids. Well, the rest of her legs. Ain't no toothpicks, you know. Boy, what a fat dame. But I guess that's the curse of drink, Duffy. You'd have been sober. You never have married her. Them dames are all headaches, though, you know. They're all covered with the same mold. Like my girl, Dolly Snapple. I know. She's a toe timer and she's pickle to me. And yet I can't get her out of me mind. Everything I do reminds me of her, Duffy. I see her face in every pretzel. I hear her voice in the slow drip of the beard tap. But she'll come back to me when she gets tired of running around with them other jerks. Sure. I got a hunch she's on her last lap. Yep. Yeah, that's it, Duffy. Meantime, I think I'll just go and bury myself in me work. Duffy. Okay, I'll call you back. Sa. Now, come on, Eddie. Let's get to work here.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Now, I want you to put them six empty barrels out in the back. Then I want you to stack them beer cases in the corner. Then bring up that big sack of potatoes from the cellar. Then I want you to carry that cigarette machine into the back room.

[C]

What's the bigger idea?

[B]

I'm trying to bury myself in me work.

[C]

That's fine, but let's not make it a double funeral, shall we? Are you still pining over that Dolly Snaffle?

[B]

Yep. I can't forget her, Eddie. She keeps running through me veins, her face engraved on every corpse.

[C]

You mean you. You mean you still crazy about her after the way she Walked out on you last week without opera.

[B]

Sudden. Yeah, that was the thing that hurt, Eddie. I wouldn't mind losing it to a guy that was me superior. But to that crumb opera singer Windheim. The guy is dull and stupid and unattractive. What has he got that I ain't got?

[C]

Nothing so far.

[B]

Yeah, I guess I must be slipping. Eddie, you know, this couldn't have happened to the Archie of yesteryear. Eddie, you remember the Archie that used to have all of the dames in love with him.

[C]

Don't believe I've had the pleasure.

[B]

Eddie, please don't try to humor me. That Windheim, you know the guy, he's got nothing just because he's an opera singer. I guess I should have listened to me mother instead of me father. Why? Well, me mother wanted me to have culture, you know, Always wanted to take me to the opera. But me father says no, let him learn about life in a roar. Take him to a burlesque show. Yeah, it was always a problem. Mary.

[C]

Age old Battle wriggle worces. Wriggletta.

[B]

That's the worst reading I ever heard. Yeah, Eddie, I wish now that I had gone to the opera. You know, I might have been a great singer.

[D]

You know, sing.

[B]

Oh, sure. You know, when I was a kid, I had one of them real velvet iron lung voices. I used to be known throughout the neighborhood for it.

[C]

Is that so?

[B]

Oh, yeah, sure. When I used to sing in the shower, people for blocks around would say, listen, Archie's singing in the shower. It's spring again.

[C]

You was reliable as a groundhog, wasn't you?

[E]

Yes, we all know that feeling. You finally manage to get away on vacation and the worrying starts. Will that bogus Beware of dog sign keep your home safe? What about that fake camera you set up? And will someone finally find your old Hide and Key rock? That's where ADT comes in, all that stuff. It's safe ish. It seems fine when you don't really think about it. But you know, it truly doesn't work. Instead, ADT provides security solutions that keep you actually safe, giving you real peace of mind. Because vacation is supposed to be, you know, relaxing. Don't settle for Safe ish. Visit ADT.com today to learn more.

[C]

What happened to them velvet tones? Did your voice change?

[B]

Yeah, you know, I got to be 15 or 16, I discovered girls, and overnight me boyish soprano changed into a manly whistle.

[C]

Bye bye bluebird. Hello, Wolf.

[B]

Yep, Eddie, I can see now I should have never give up singing. You know, it's the one thing that me personality lacks.

[C]

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

[B]

Thank you, Eddie. But it's true, you know. I'm an attractive guy. That. And any attractive guy that can also sing has the advantage. It stands without reason. It stands without reason. How are you, Finnegan?

[F]

What's the matter, Art? You look a little droopy around the mouth.

[B]

Not without undue course, Finnegan. Look, whatever you do, don't ever get mixed up with a name.

[F]

Oh, there's no danger of that, Arch. Me mother shows me name on all of me underwear.

[B]

Finnegan, how long has your head been in dry dock? What I mean was. Oh, what's the sense of talking about it to you? You have never been in love.

[F]

Oh, I beg to differ. I had a romance once, Art.

[B]

You did?

[F]

Yes. You're very tender. Repeated. We used to go to the park on Sunday afternoons and sit by the lake and chew bubble gum together. So? It was so sweet.

[B]

Yeah. Huh. What happened?

[F]

Well, it was one of those things. The war came along and we couldn't get no more bubble gum.

[B]

Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Finnegan. I had no idea.

[F]

I'm just as well arched, she was. Like all dames, I never could trust her. The minute I took me eyes off her, there she'd be, kissing and necking away like man.

[B]

With who?

[F]

Me.

[B]

Cunningham. You know, maybe you got the secret to happiness.

[F]

Oh, yes. I'm a lover of the simple thing.

[B]

Narcissus complex, huh?

[F]

Yeah. Yeah. Just give me a bag of peanuts, me favorite chair in front of the radiator. And a good book.

[B]

A book? You?

[F]

Yeah. Me favorite chair has one short leg. I got everything I want right there in me little room over the meat market.

[B]

Yeah, but, Finnegan, don't you have a dream?

[F]

Oh, once in a while, Arch. Sometimes I sit in the park at night, look up at the moon, close me eyes and dream. I'm back in me little room over the meat market.

[B]

Well, you know, Finnegan, I envy you. Your head is so full of brains, you haven't got room to think.

[F]

Oh, thanks, Josh. No, you can't.

[B]

Here comes that Windheim guy now. Hey, Windheim. Yes? What was the idea last week of walking off with Dolly Snaffle? You mean that silly, scatterbrained nincompoop? Yeah, my girl. What's the big idea, Archie? I'll give her back to you. What? Every night it's the same thing. I take her home, we sit in the parlor, she turns the lights down low. Then what happens? She turns to me and says, wendy, give me a real thrill. Sing Tannhauser. You mean she only goes for your voice? Oh, well, that's a relief. You know, I was afraid it was platonic. So the dame likes singing. I didn't know that. Wendy. How long would it take me to learn to sing Opera? Oh, 15 or 20 years. Then that's out. By that time, she'd be too old for a guy my age. Now, I gotta do it quicker than that. Hello? Oh, hello, Vera. Just a second. Messed up of your girlfriend, Vera Fogarty.

[D]

Oh, thanks, Archie. Oh, hello, Vera. Vera, you should be here tonight. Nothing but sailors as far as the eye can wink. Ha, ha. Oh, that one's skinny one's, tall one's, short one's, old one's, young one's. Honestly, Vera, I hardly know where to begin. Oh, they're all so wonderful. Especially the ones that just got back from sea duty. They're my favorites.

[B]

Heaven help the navy on a night like this.

[D]

Are you coming down, Vera? Oh, going to the movies, huh? Eddie Bracken. You love his boy. Vera, Eddie Bracken don't really sing. No, I read it in a movie magazine. He just moves his mouth and Bing Crosby does the singing.

[B]

Wait a minute. That gives me an idea.

[D]

Well, I. I gotta go now, Vera. Well. Well, I'll be seeing you, Vera. Anchor the way.

[B]

Wait a minute. Eddie Bracken moves his mouth and Crosby does the singing. Why couldn't I do that with hey, Windheim.

[D]

Sam?

[B]

Now, look, have you got the idea now, Windheim? Of course. Okay. Now, let's go over it once again. As soon as Dolly comes in, see, you go over and you hide behind the bar. Then two, I'll stand next to you. Three, when I raise me right hand like this, the band starts to play, see? Four, when you hear the band, you start singing. Five, I'll move me mouth. And six, Dolly thinks it's me and.

[C]

I'm home seven to ten.

[B]

What's that?

[C]

That's the visiting hours in the sanitarium where you belong.

[B]

Quiet, Eddie. Oh, there's just one more thing, Wendy. And what's that? When you get behind the bar, stay away from that bleak in the beer coil. I don't want nothing to. Don't want nothing to interfere with me voice tonight. Hey, wait a minute. Here she comes now, tucked behind a bar. Wendy. Now, Eddie, look, I'm going to tell Dolly that I'm an opera singer and I want you to back me up, you hear?

[D]

Hello, Archie.

[B]

Oh, hello, Dolly. I'm just giving my man here.

[E]

We all Know that feeling. You finally manage to get away on vacation and the worrying starts. Will that bogus Beware of dogs sign Keep your home safe? What about that fake camera you set up? And will someone finally find your old Hide and Key rock? That's where ADT comes in, all that stuff. It's safe. Ish. It seems fine when you don't really think about it, but you know, it truly doesn't work. Instead, ADT provides security solutions that keep you actually safe, giving you real peace of mind. Because vacation is supposed to be, you know, relaxing. Don't settle for safe.ish. visit ADT.com today to learn more instructions.

[B]

Now remember, Eddie, when I establish the beachhead, you steam right in with the reinforcements.

[C]

Hi aye, Admiral. I'll stand by also with the hospital ship.

[B]

Aye, aye, sir. Well, Dolly, you look great tonight. That dress really does sing for your superstructure.

[D]

Don't be so eager beaver. Where is he? Ho, my little opera singer, Wendy.

[B]

Well, he ain't showed up yet, Dolly. But speaking of singers, how would you like to meet a singer that has a voice exactly like Windheim's, but who is much more attractive, taller, handsomer and wittier?

[D]

Oh, solid.

[B]

What would you say if I told you that I was a singer first?

[D]

Tell me about the handsome one.

[B]

Dolly, that's what I'm trying to tell you. I am none other than him.

[D]

You?

[B]

What's the matter? Don't I look like a singer?

[D]

Well, if you put on a few more pounds, you might look like Sinatra.

[B]

Golly, please don't mention that name. You see, professionally, there's bad blood between me and Sinatra.

[D]

Between you and Sinatra, there's no blood. Now, where's my Wendy, Dolly?

[B]

What do you want with that, Wendy, when you got a guy standing in front of you that's been singing opera for years?

[D]

Oh, aren't you an opera singer?

[B]

Look, maybe I don't look the part, but don't forget you can't judge a singer by the color of his tourist.

[D]

But Archie, you're too skinny to be an opera singer.

[B]

It was white opera. Yeah, Dolly, I hate to confess this, but I sang all over the world. Carnegie's hall, Tammany hall, the Old Bailey in London, the Hippodrome in New York.

[D]

Oh, Archie, the Hippodrome was torn down years ago.

[B]

I was also famous for me open air concerts. Yeah, I'll never forget me trompal tour of Europe. Went through France, Russia, Italy. Italy, my dear. In Italy, I was the first tenor, what they called a primo canera. Yep, it was In Italy that I first sang duets with Caruso.

[D]

Aren't you? You sang with Caruso?

[B]

Oh, sure. Good old Robinson. Yep. I'll never forget him.

[D]

If I could only believe all this.

[B]

Yeah, that would help. That reminds me. Oh, Eddie.

[C]

Aye, aye, sir.

[B]

Eddie, I was just telling Ms. Snapple here about the mad hectic days when we was together in the opera. Eddie here was me. Valid?

[D]

Oh, yes. Tell me, Eddie, how did you happen to go to work for Archie?

[C]

Well, it was like this.

[B]

Tuscaninny give them to me as a present. No, Tusky and I work together. You know, I used to do the vocals with his band.

[D]

I see. And tell me, Eddie, what big opera stars did Archie sing with?

[C]

Well, it was like this.

[B]

Practically all of them. Tetrosini, Gallicocci, Schiaparelli, Kirsten, Flagstaff.

[D]

I see. And tell me, Eddie, why isn't Archie singing in the opera now?

[C]

Well, it was like this. Well, it was like this.

[B]

Well, you see, Dolly.

[C]

Admiral, I thought you'd never get here.

[B]

Look, Dolly, you act like you doubt my words. Well, there's only one way for me to prove that I claim to be what I am.

[D]

What's that?

[B]

I'll sing an opera for you. And when you hear them gilded tunes.

[F]

Oh my God, you'll never guess who's hiding behind the bar.

[B]

Finnegan, what's your matter? Ixnay on the I gay behind the arb.

[F]

All right, Otchi.

[D]

Wait a minute. What is that corny jive?

[F]

Oh, that means Nixon. A guy behind the bar.

[B]

And thank you, Clifton. Finnegan. I'm sorry, Dolly, but Finnegan gets these hallucinogens. In fact, around this neighborhood there is a legend that when he was a child, his mother dropped his father on his head. Now, speaking of the opera, Archie, I.

[D]

Have never been a cessatious person and.

[B]

This is no time to start. Now. Go over to that little booth over there and I'll prove it. I'll sing for you.

[D]

Which booth?

[B]

That one over there.

[D]

Why so far away?

[B]

Well, you see that mine is one of them powerful, slow starting voices and it takes about 50ft before it really gets rolling.

[D]

Well, all right. But I bet it won't sound anything like my Wendy's voice.

[C]

Eight to five.

[B]

Quiet, Eddie. Don't be such a styptic. Please.

[A]

Say, Archie, I hear that you're an opera singer. Is that a fact?

[B]

Well, you can judge for yourself, Mr. Roy. I'm just about to ar joint out with a number. Great.

[A]

How's your voice?

[B]

How's my what?

[A]

How's your voice?

[B]

Oh, he's fine. Thank you.

[D]

Sa.

[B]

Uh. Hey, Reapi. Yeah, Art. Now, you got it straight, you see? You watch me, and when my right hand goes up, you start to play. You got it?

[C]

I got it, but I don't get it.

[B]

Good. Now, Wendy, are you there? Right. By the way, what am I singing? Besti la Juba from Ippagliachi. Boy, I didn't know I had it in me. Okay, I'll announce myself. Repeat. Trumpets, please. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, I am about to foist on you the greatest shock you ever had. I, Archie, am an opera singer. Surprised? Yes. I've been hiding me light under a bushel for these many years. But tonight, the butterfly comes out of its raccoon. Yes, tonight I shall unveil my glorious voice. You're a bum. Nevertheless, I unveil my glorious voice. But before I proceed ahead, is there any questions any of yous would like to ask about the opera?

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

What is it?

[B]

A very good question. Well, the opera is. Well, it's a form of. Which has been set to music for want of a better medium. Any further questions? Come on, raise your hand. Folks. Don't be ignorant, Mr. Roy. I see your hand up.

[A]

Well, Archie, this is a controversial point. Among my operatically inclined friends, was Wagner's Rienzi Overture composed before or after the completion of the main opus?

[B]

Your point is well taken. And so we bring the question period to a close. Closed. And the time has come for me to sing. I dedicate this song to Ms. Dolly Snapple. Okay, boys. Pizzicato. Let's go. Let's go. The other hand. Oh, yeah. Let's go. Shine.

[A]

Farina.

[B]

La jam.

[C]

Archie.

[D]

Oh, Auntie, that was beautiful.

[F]

Yeah. Wasn't it great, Eddie?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Wonderful technique. So smooth, so effortless. One hardly knew he was singing.

[B]

Thank you very much. Thank you, kind friend.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

Ay, chickens. It was solid murder.

[B]

Oh, thank you, Dolly.

[D]

Of course, I still think Lindy could have done better.

[B]

I Wonder if Charlie McCarthy has this trouble with Bergen.

[D]

Oh. Oh, Dollykins is only teasing a great big opera singer.

[B]

Oh, well, that's different. Well, Dolly, now that you know that I'm an opera singer, how about us going steady, huh?

[D]

Well, of course, that is a great big handsome. You would want to go steady with little old homely me.

[B]

Are you kidding? Great big handsome me is just crazy about little old homely you.

[D]

And you won't go out with any other girl?

[B]

Nope.

[D]

Promise?

[B]

Promise.

[D]

Swear.

[B]

Swear. Look, now, raise me right hand and I swear I'll never go out.

[D]

Archie, what is this? Who is that singing?

[B]

I guess it must be me.

[D]

Well, of all the low down tricks. I'm getting out of here.

[B]

Now wait a minute Dolly, please.

[C]

Hello? Hello Duffy. Who's that singing?

[B]

It's me. You like me boys?

[C]

I should fire Windheim, but Duffy, what's duppy?

[A]

And now ladies and gentlemen, it's time to leave Duffy's Tavern for this evening. Tonight Duffy's Tavern was broadcast from the U.S. naval Training center in San Diego. Join us again at the same time next week.

[B]

Duffy Tavern. Hello, Duffy. Huh? How come I could sing and talk at the same time? A very good question. Well, it's one of them freaks of nature, Duffy. I may never be able to do it again. And by the way, tell Millie I'll send the water bill tomorrow for so long. See you next ride.

[C]

This is the Armed Forces Radio, sir.

[B]

Sam Sa.