Easy Aces 41-04-17 (xxxx) Jane Auctions Off The Furniture

Summary

Podcast Title: Harold's Old Time Radio
Episode: Easy Aces 41-04-17 (xxxx) Jane Auctions Off The Furniture
Release Date: January 27, 2025
Host/Author: Harold's Old Time Radio

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Summary of "Easy Aces 41-04-17: Jane Auctions Off The Furniture"

Introduction

In this episode of Easy Aces, listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio, immersing themselves in the charming antics of Jane and Ace. The episode masterfully blends humor with heartfelt moments, showcasing Jane's entrepreneurial spirit and the complexities of familial relationships.

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Jane's Ingenious Auction Strategy

Timestamp: 02:26 - 05:04

The episode kicks off in the cozy setting of the Aces' bungalow post-dinner. Jane excitedly shares her latest venture with Ace and their friend, Marge. After selling all the furniture in their home for $400, Jane discovered her old furniture being auctioned off at a fraction of its value. Motivated by a mix of pride and practicality, she decided to reclaim her possessions by bidding up to $250, securing a $150 profit.

Jane (03:03): "So, I make $150 each time... I can't understand it. I know somebody isn't doing good somewhere, but it isn't."
Ace (03:35): "Well, approximately?"

Jane's plan is straightforward: consistently selling furniture at a higher price and repurchasing it at a lower one. She calculates that repeating this process ten times could yield a substantial profit of $1,500.

Jane (03:43): "All I have to do is sell this furniture for $400, go to an auction sale and buy it back for $250. And I make $150 each time, don't I?"

Despite Ace's skepticism about potential legal repercussions and unforeseen challenges, Jane remains optimistic, likening her inventive approach to that of the famed inventor Edison.

Jane (05:09): "Oh, this is a new business I just happened to think of. Just like Edison."

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Betty's Crisis: A Family in Turmoil

Timestamp: 05:25 - 12:45

The mood shifts dramatically when Jane's phone rings, introducing Betty—Jane's niece—who is embroiled in a marital crisis. Betty arrives at the bungalow in a state of emotional distress, threatening to take her own life and that of her baby due to unresolved tensions with her husband, Carl.

Betty (05:37): "You've got to take me in. I can't stand it anymore... I'll kill myself and my baby rather than put up with him another day."

Jane and Ace grapple with Betty's plea, trying to offer support amidst the unfolding drama. The core of Betty's anguish revolves around a seemingly trivial yet deeply contentious issue: the name of her child. While Jane initially refers to the baby as Susan, Betty insists the name is Sheila, leading to a heated exchange.

Betty (10:04): "It's my child."
Jane (10:05): "Yes, but it's his too."

The conversation highlights the strains that minor disagreements can place on relationships, especially when compounded by external pressures. Jane attempts to mediate, emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding between Betty and Carl.

Jane (11:05): "After all, it's a wise child that knows her own name... She can't go around calling a baby Susan one minute and Sheila the next."

Despite Jane's efforts to calm the situation, Betty remains resolute in her decision to leave, showcasing the fragility of familial bonds under stress.

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Conclusion

The episode adeptly balances lighthearted business schemes with serious family issues, providing listeners with a nuanced portrayal of Jane and Ace's lives. Jane's inventive approach to auctioning furniture serves as a backdrop to Betty's emotional struggle, illustrating the complexities of balancing personal ambitions with familial responsibilities.

Notably, the episode underscores themes of resilience, the importance of communication, and the enduring bonds of family. Through witty dialogue and relatable scenarios, Easy Aces offers both humor and depth, making it a memorable addition to Harold's Old Time Radio collection.

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Notable Quotes

• Jane on Her Business Idea (03:03): "So, I make $150 each time... I can't understand it."
• Ace Expressing Doubt (03:35): "Well, approximately?"
• Jane Comparing Herself to Edison (05:09): "Oh, this is a new business I just happened to think of. Just like Edison."
• Betty's Desperation (05:37): "You've got to take me in. I can't stand it anymore... I'll kill myself and my baby rather than put up with him another day."
• Jane on the Importance of Communication (11:05): "After all, it's a wise child that knows her own name..."

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This detailed summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, ensuring that both longtime fans and newcomers can appreciate the depth and charm of Easy Aces.

Transcript

[Ace]

Ladies and gentlemen, Easy Aces.

[Ford Bond]

Once again, Anderson presents Easy Aces Radio's distinctive laugh novelty. Many of you, I'm sure, have had anacin recommended to you for the quick release of pain from a headache, neuralgia or neuritis. Perhaps a friend has suggested you try it. You may have wondered just why anacin is so recommended in preference to other ways. The reason is that anacin acts to relieve your pain effectively and remarkably fast. It's like a doctor's prescription. That is, it's a combination of medically proven active ingredients. And everyone knows that when your doctor makes out a prescription, it usually contains not just one ingredient alone, but several. Thousands of people have been given an envelope containing anisin tablets at some time or other by their dentist or physician. They know how fast it brings relief for them. If you have not yet tried anacin, go to your drugstore now and pick up a box. Try anacin the next time you're in pain from neuritis, neuralgia or a headache. Try it on the proposition that if the first few tablets do not give complete satisfaction, you may return the unused portion and your money will be instantly refunded. Ask for Anacin, spelled A N, a C I N in tins of 12 and 30 and bottles of 50 and 100 tablets. Well, Jane sold all the furniture in the aces bungalow for $400. Then she visited an auction sale and found her old furniture being auctioned off very cheaply. It hurt her pride. She stepped in and bid up to $250, got all the furniture back and made a profit of a hundred fifty dollars. The scene now is a bungalow after dinner. The house is back as it was before, with Jane, Mr. Race and their friend Marge enjoying its comfort. Listen.

[Ace]

Ah, this is more like it.

[Jane]

Comfortable.

[Ace]

Oh, aren't you, Marge?

[Jane]

I should say. But it all happened so fast, I haven't quite got my bearings. First I said goodbye to all this, when all of a sudden it whiffed right back. And I find myself sitting right back in my nook here on the savannah.

[Ace]

Yeah. Seems like it was a nightmare, doesn't it? Well, we're back together again. This here and I. This is what I call comfort. How about it, James?

[Jane]

What?

[Ace]

I say, isn't this like old times, having all our own furniture? What are you doing? You writing somebody?

[Jane]

Oh, no. I'm trying to figure out how often I could do this. Now, let me see.

[Ace]

How often?

[Jane]

I mean, if I can make $150 once and get the drapes clean. Besides, how many times would it take to make $1,500 or the price of one mink coat? You're not going to make a business out of this. Well, I mean, I did it once. Why not?

[Ace]

All you have to do is forget about it.

[Jane]

No, all I have to do is sell this furniture for $400, go to an auction sale and buy it back for 250. And I make 150 each time, don't I? Now, 10 times 150. I figured I would be approximately $1,500 profit.

[Ace]

Well, approximately?

[Jane]

What do you mean, Approximately? It is $1,500 profit.

[Ace]

Well, not counting bail and fines and legal advice.

[Jane]

Oh, now, Jane, you're not thinking of making a habit of this? Well, it's so easy, Marge. Look, all I have to do is sell the furniture for $400, then I buy it back for 250. What do I make me sick? No, I mean in cash.

[Ace]

Oh, in cash.

[Jane]

I make $150 each time. It comes out the same way every time I figure it. I can't understand it. I know somebody isn't doing good somewhere, but it isn't. I. I can't figure out who it is. That's. That's their worry, I guess. Every time somebody makes money, somebody else loses money, don't they, dear? So all I have to do is to advertise furniture for sale in the newspaper. A man comes and buys it for $400, and I go and buy it back for 250, and I make $150.

[Ace]

It's foolproof.

[Jane]

So you've opened a new field of business, A.J. yes, except one thing. There's always a fly in the oatmeal.

[Ace]

What is it?

[Jane]

The advertisement in the paper across a dollar, 12 cents every time I advertise. Yeah, a little over my head, but not much. Isn't it funny? I never thought of this before. Here I've been looking at this same furniture every day for six years, and I never thought I could make money out of it and still have it. Sell it, buy it, sell it, buy it. Why, that could go on forever or till that chair falls apart. It's wonderful.

[Ace]

You know, Jane, I think you've got nothing there.

[Jane]

Pretty good, huh, dear?

[Ace]

Yes.

[Jane]

Oh, well, you can laugh, Mark. They laughed at Edison when he sat down at the piano.

[Ace]

That was a big trollo, wasn't it?

[Jane]

Oh, this is a new business I just happened to think of. Just like Edison. What you thought of.

[Ace]

Speaking of Addison. Jane, the phone is ringing.

[Jane]

A what?

[Ace]

The telephone. Do you mind, Jane? You're right there.

[Jane]

Oh, the Phone's ringing. Excuse me.

[Ace]

Yes?

[Jane]

Hello?

[Betty]

Hello? Is that you, Aunt Jane?

[Jane]

Yes. Who is this? This is Betty. Oh, hello. Isn't that Jane?

[Betty]

I'm coming right over with my baby.

[Jane]

This is the end.

[Betty]

You've got to take me in. I can't stand it anymore. I've tried and tried and tried. It's no use. I've been a loyal and faithful wife. Heaven knows I've made every sacrifice. But tonight came the finish. It had to come sometime, and now I'm through. Do you understand? I don't mind for myself, but when it comes to the baby, I'll fight the world, especially this man who called himself my husband. I'll kill myself and my baby rather than put up with him another day. Will you help me, Aunt Jane?

[Jane]

How are you, Betty? What's new?

[Betty]

We'll be over in five minutes. I'm all packed. Goodbye.

[Jane]

Goodbye. Well, what do you know?

[Ace]

Oh, not much. What do you know, Jane?

[Jane]

Plenty. Something's wrong, Betty.

[Ace]

Something's always wrong with Betty, isn't there, dear?

[Jane]

I want you to stop talking like that this minute.

[Ace]

Yes, ma'am.

[Jane]

This is no laughing matter. She and Carl have had a fight, Kim. This is the first fight they've had since the baby came six months ago.

[Ace]

How do you know? You never keep in touch with them.

[Jane]

Oh, I know. I should see my own niece more often than I do. You don't have to rib it in. Well, what happened with her in car? I don't know. She didn't tell me. I didn't get a chance to talk to her.

[Ace]

Yeah, but she got a chance to talk to you. What was that long pause you were listening to there?

[Jane]

Oh, that. Well, she didn't say much there. She's so excited and crying. What you say? Nothing. She said, I'm coming right over with the baby. This is the end. You've got to take me in. I can't stand it anymore. I tried and tried. She said. Oh, no. She said, I've tried and tried and tried. I've been a loyal and faithful wife and I'm going to kill myself and the baby. Kill herself.

[Ace]

What are you talking about?

[Jane]

That's what she said. And on the way to do it, she's stopping over here. We'll have to tell her not to. Well, I should hope so.

[Ace]

Why?

[Jane]

Why? Listen, dear, this is my sister's only child. My sister sent her here to get married. We got her married and to a very nice fellow. You think I'm going to let her go and kill herself? Even if she doesn't mean it. I should. Well, what does she mean?

[Ace]

Coming here and our taking her in.

[Jane]

He and Carl had a fight. Don't you get it?

[Ace]

I guess. A fight, Jane. But we can't keep her here.

[Jane]

Why not? If I may be so cold. Whose house is this?

[Ace]

Yours, I suppose.

[Jane]

No, it's ours.

[Ace]

Oh, thanks.

[Jane]

Half mine and half yours. And $150 left over.

[Ace]

Oh, yes.

[Jane]

I guess I got something to say about my own needs coming to live here.

[Ace]

She's married. She's got a husband.

[Jane]

But they had a fight. For what? So they'll get over it. Why? Just something that needs patching up. She's crazy about Carl. Yes, and so is he. What was the argument about? Did she say no? I didn't get a chance to ask her. It's just one of those silly things. You know how married people argue once in a while?

[Ace]

Uh, no. I don't know. Tell me, Jane.

[Jane]

Well, one of them says something, and then the other says. Oh, sarcastic, huh?

[Ace]

1. No, Jane, I'm not sarcastic.

[Jane]

Listen, dear, I know you too well. I haven't been married to you all these years for nothing. You're just lucky we don't have any arguments because one of us knows how to twist the other one around her little finger. And I don't have to say which one I mean.

[Ace]

Which little finger you mean?

[Jane]

Yeah. Oh, which one of us I mean. Now, are you two going to get into a tantrum just as Betty gets here? Well, him and his sarcasm.

[Ace]

Well, her and her little finger.

[Jane]

I didn't say whose little finger. I guess you've got a guilty conscience.

[Ace]

I have?

[Jane]

Well, if it fits, you wear it.

[Ace]

How does it look on me?

[Jane]

What the. You. It's like talking to a deaf wall. Now, what were we saying, Marge? Something about Betty, I believe. Oh, yes. They had a little fight. It isn't much. You know how married couples argue once in a while. What was that?

[Ace]

I didn't say anything.

[Jane]

Well, I don't like that tone. Your eye.

[Ace]

Oh, I thought it looked well on me. Just matches my conscience.

[Jane]

Oh, Marge, stop laughing at him. He'll start thinking he's funny. Now, where was I? Married couples argue once in a while. Let's. Yeah, I guess you know how Betty flies off the coop. Yes, Betty does have a temper, doesn't she? Now, Marge, we're not going to take sides. Except Betty. Oh, except Betty's. Well, she's my niece. My own sister's only child. Oh, there she is. Now. Just a minute. I'll go, dear.

[Ace]

I didn't make a move.

[Jane]

Yeah, just leave it to you and we'll have nothing done around here. Now, I want to hear one word out of you, you understand?

[Ace]

Not even scram.

[Jane]

Oh, neither thou.

[Ace]

I should have known I was too comfortable here.

[Jane]

Betty. Come in.

[Betty]

Hello, Aunt Jane. Here, take this bag. The baby's still asleep. I'll hold her.

[Jane]

No noise, everybody. The baby's asleep.

[Betty]

Aunt Jane, you're waking her.

[Jane]

Oh, excuse me. No noise, everybody. The baby's asleep. Well, hello, Betty.

[Betty]

Hello. I've come to stay here. I'm through with Carl. I'm through with everything. Men are beasts. They don't deserve wives, much less children. They're beasts, I tell you.

[Jane]

What?

[Ford Bond]

What?

[Betty]

Trying to be funny, Uncle Ace?

[Ace]

No, just trying to accommodate.

[Jane]

Oh, look at the baby. If she isn't as. Look, Marge. Look at her fingers curled up in her fizz. Hello, Susan. Say hello to Susan.

[Betty]

Marge, will you stop calling her Susan? Her name is Sheila.

[Jane]

Sheila? Why, I thought it was Susan.

[Betty]

That's Carl's doing. For months I've told him the child's name was Sheila. For months he's called her Susan. When she was tiny, I didn't mind so much. As she grew up, he kept on calling her Susan. I couldn't stand it anymore. The child was beginning to recognize sounds. I begged him. I pleaded with him. I humbled myself to him, to that man asking him to call a Sheila. He kept on calling us Susan. Char was becoming confused. But tonight I made up my mind.

[Ace]

Your what?

[Betty]

You heard what I said.

[Jane]

Her mind, she said. Did. Oh, go ahead, Betty. Isn't it exciting? Then what?

[Betty]

I decided to leave him.

[Jane]

I never want to see him again or speak to him again. But, Betty, you can't take a child away from.

[Betty]

It's my child.

[Jane]

Yes, but it's his too.

[Betty]

Oh, he has a child born of his imagination. A child named Susan. This is my child, Sheila.

[Ace]

Well, that's very pretty. Born of his imagination.

[Betty]

Oh, I knew you'd be against me.

[Jane]

Now, now, let's not take sides. I don't blame you, Betty. After all, it's a wise child that knows her own name. You can't go around calling a baby Susan one minute and Sheila the next week. Oh, isn't she cute? Hello, Susan. How are you?

[Betty]

I'm Jane. Stop that this minute.

[Jane]

She loud?

[Betty]

No, her name's Sheila.

[Jane]

Oh, excuse me. I keep forgetting which is which. Hello. Which is it?

[Betty]

Sheila. Sheila.

[Jane]

Oh, look. She opened her eyes. She sees me. Look at her, dear. She sees me. She understands me.

[Ace]

She's a Genius.

[Jane]

Oh, she's a gorgeous child. What coloring. And those blue eyes and pink teeth.

[Betty]

I must put her to bed. Where will she sleep?

[Ace]

In her own bed, I suggest.

[Betty]

I'll never go back there.

[Jane]

Well, why?

[Ace]

Come here.

[Jane]

Where can I turn?

[Betty]

Where can I go?

[Jane]

Sure, where can she turn? Where can she go?

[Ace]

How about back to her husband and stop this silly argument? Breaking up a home over the name of a child.

[Betty]

I have no home. My home was broken up the minute he called her Susan. He knew I had chosen the name of Sheila long before she was born. He and his stubbornness.

[Jane]

Well, maybe that stubbornness is 50. 50, Betty.

[Betty]

And, Marge, I expected you to be on his side too.

[Ace]

Stand over here with me, Marge.

[Betty]

Oh, Aunt Jane, you're the only one I can turn to.

[Jane]

All right, I'll sand over with you. Now let me see how he stands, Rita. Two, counting Susan. No, not Susan.

[Betty]

Will you stop calling her Susan?

[Jane]

Oh, I forgot again. Hello, Sheila. How are you, Sheila? This is Aunt Jane. Sheila Sue. You like Aunt Jane, Sheila Sue? I like you, Sheila Sue.

[Ace]

Oh, stop that racket.

[Ford Bond]

Well, Jane forgets furniture for a while. To take up the problem of mending Betty's marital affairs, Easy Aces are brought to you by the makers of Anacin, the remarkable tablets that give effective and fast relief from pains due to headaches, neuralgia or neuritis. Anacin is like a doctor's prescription. That is, it's a combination of medically proven and highly regarded ingredients, not just one. And you know, a doctor's prescription usually contains more than one ingredient. That's why your dentist or physician at some time or other may have given you an envelope containing Anacin tablets. So the next time you're in pain from a headache, neuralgia or neuritis, remember Anacin A N, a C I N in tins of 12 and 30 and bottles of 50 and 100 tablets at any drugstore. Easy Aces will be back next Tuesday night at this same time. When you go to your druggist, note how many different items he carries other than drugs. Look them over and buy whatever you can from him. You have help him and yourself. This is Ford Bond speaking for the makers of Aniston. Here's how to have beautifully waxed and polished floors. Use Old English, no rubbing liquid wax that protects floors against wear. Quickly applied, it dries to a hard, gleaming wax finish. That is all. No rubbing, no drudgery, and at only 39 cents a pint, it saves you up to one third in cash. Try Old English. No rubbing liquid wax.