
Easy Aces 41-05-13 (xxxx) A Game Of Bumper Cars
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Ryan
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Anderson
BTW, ladies and gentlemen, Easy Aces. Once again, Anderson presents Easy Aces, Radio's distinctive last novelty. Every day you hear more and more about a remarkable way to relieve the pains of headache, neuralgia and neuritis. The name is Anacin, spelled A N, A C, I N. Thousands upon thousands of men and women discovered this way when given an envelope containing Anacin tablets by their own physician or dentist. Perhaps you yourself at some time have learned about anacin tablets in this manner. If so, you know how amazingly quick it acts. Now, the reason is that anacin is compounded like a prescription that is made up of a combination of medically proven and highly regarded active ingredients. And you know, a doctor's prescription is like that usually contains not one ingredient but several. It's this combination of ingredients that makes Anacin so quick acting. When you have a pain from a headache, neuralgia or neuritis, you want relief and you want it fast. So for your own sake, don't you agree that anacin is worth a try? Especially when it's sold on a money back guarantee? For if the first few tablets don't give complete satisfaction, you may return the unused portion and your money will be refunded. Ask for Aniston tonight at any drugstore. It comes in tins of 12 and 30 and bottles of 50 and 100 tablets. Well, Jane and her niece Betty, living apart from their husband, needed money. So Jane tried that auction sale idea again. Where once she sold her furniture for $400, then bought it back for 250, making $150 profit. But Mr. Ace stepped in this time and it didn't work, as we can plainly see as we find Jane and Betty later that same afternoon pacing to and fro in the bungalow stripped bare of furniture. Listen.
Betty
That was a great scene you thought of Aunt Jane.
Aunt Jane
Well, it worked the first time.
Betty
Sure. All we have to do is sell the furniture for $400, then go to the Auction sale and buy it back for 250 and we'll have $150 profit. Oh, I knew it was no good.
Aunt Jane
Didn't it work the first time?
Betty
I don't know. I only have your word for it.
Aunt Jane
Well, it did. Did I know your uncle was gonna be there? Making me bid more and more.
Betty
It was a good thing I called him back there. He and Carl bidding away till they got up to 399, and then they thought we'd save 400.
Aunt Jane
I sure let them have it. I stopped bidding when it got to 399. So for being so smart and following my plan, let him pay for the furniture. This time I made $400 profit.
Betty
I don't see where you made any profit. You have no furniture.
Aunt Jane
He's got to sand it here. Where else could he stand it?
Betty
Oh, it's half past five and it hasn't come yet. If you ask me, he won't send it.
Aunt Jane
I didn't ask you.
Betty
Well, whether you ask me or not, he won't send it. They're trying their best to make us come crawling back to them on our hands and knees. Well, I for one won't.
Aunt Jane
I for two won't. Isn't it lonesome here? I sure miss the furniture. That's so hollow, isn't it? Hello there. I can almost hear my echo.
Betty
Oh, stop listening to your echo of you and your scheme.
Aunt Jane
Oh, now, listen, Betty. Did I think it wouldn't work? It worked the first time.
Betty
Well, what do we do now, mastermind?
Aunt Jane
Well, the first thing I'm going to do is to find out where the. What do you mean, mastermind? Are you trying to be sarcastic?
Betty
No, I'm not trying to be.
Aunt Jane
Well, I should hope. Well, the first day I'm going to. What do you mean you're not trying to be? You mean you are without trying.
Betty
Oh, stop quibbling.
Aunt Jane
I didn't quib. You said mastermind and I said, okay.
Betty
Aunt Jane, then you're not a mastermind. I don't want to argue about it. We've got enough trouble. What are we going to do? At least I had a home here for a while. But now look at it.
Aunt Jane
Sure, it's lonesome, isn't it? Hello there. Listen to that echo.
Betty
I don't want to listen to echoes. I've been listening to echoes ever since I left Carl. I'm tired of being told.
Aunt Jane
Now, Betty, is that a way to act? Don't you think I miss your Uncle Ace? Sure I do, just as much as you miss Carl. But are we gonna go crawling back to them on our hands and knees?
Betty
I don't know, Aunt Jane.
Aunt Jane
What with stockings, what they are today. I should say not. They'll come back to us. You'll see.
Betty
What are we gonna do till they come back? Can't live here without the furniture.
Aunt Jane
It's awful around here now. Hello there. Hello there.
Marge
How are you?
Aunt Jane
Just fine. How are you? Oh, Marge, I didn't hear you come in.
Anderson
Well, who were you shrieking?
Aunt Jane
Hello at. At the Echo March. Look.
Marge
Look at what?
Aunt Jane
At nothing. Don't you miss something around here?
Marge
Miss something? No, I don't think I do. Let me see. There's you and there's Betty.
Aunt Jane
Yeah, but something else. Sit down, March. Have a chair or sit on the couch. Now, do you miss something?
Marge
Oh, sure, now I do. Well, finally there's no chair and there's no couch.
Aunt Jane
No anything.
Betty
Thanks to that marvelous scheme she thought of. Now we haven't even any furniture.
Marge
Yes, so I understand.
Betty
You mean to say they told you they were going to be the auction sale bidding against us?
Marge
No, they didn't tell me a thing till after they'd done it.
Aunt Jane
Well, where's the furniture?
Marge
Well, that's where the trouble starts, Jane. They paid the 3.99 for it and left it there till further instruction.
Betty
OMG left it at the auction?
Marge
That's what they did.
Aunt Jane
But they can't do that. Oh, N.J. it's our furniture.
Marge
It was till they bought it.
Aunt Jane
O N.J. well, I'm going to guess that. Will you stop sitting around here saying, oh, Aunt Jane, if you sit here with that hangnail expression, I can't think of anything. Well, what are we gonna do? Well, the first thing you have to do is stop sniffling. It's getting jerky sitting here listening to you. Now, keep your face up. Keep a stiff uppercut. I'll think of something. He can't get away with this. I can just see him sitting there at your apartment with Carl, grinning like a molded cat. Well, the laugh's gonna be on the other foot before I get through with him. And Carl, too. You just wait and see.
Uncle Ace
Oh, that was a great scheme you thought of, Uncle Ace. I've got to hand it to you. That was real genius. We'd bid them up to 399. Then they'd have to say 400, and we'd let them have the furniture, and they'd be out of money again. Then they'd come begging us to come back to them. Yeah, that was a dandy.
Carl
That was just one More dollar. If they'd have bid just one more dollar, we'd have had them.
Uncle Ace
If? Now, you think of the ifs before. There were no ifs.
Carl
It was foolproof, and I fell for it.
Uncle Ace
Well, I should have known it wouldn't have worked out. There's only one consolation I get out of it. It cost you $399.
Carl
Cost me? You don't think I'm not gonna get that money back from Jane, do you? She sold it for 400. She's still got the money.
Uncle Ace
I wouldn't be too sure of that either.
Carl
Well, what do you mean?
Uncle Ace
She's probably spending that money.
Carl
Spending it?
Uncle Ace
Sure, they have to live on something.
Carl
But that's the money I spent getting the furniture bag.
Uncle Ace
Oh, no. That's the money Aunt Jane got when she sold the furniture. And it's hers to spend.
Carl
I was. Stop saying that. She's not gonna. Not gonna. Carl, I'm going right over there.
Uncle Ace
Oh, you are? Oh, you're the one that's going begging to be taken back. I thought this scheme would make them come to us.
Carl
I'm not begging for anything. I want that $400, and I'm gonna get it. I better hurry over. Oh, why didn't I take my car when I left home?
Uncle Ace
Use mine. It's downstairs.
Carl
Oh, thanks, Carl. Where's my coat?
Anderson
Oh, here it is.
Uncle Ace
I think I'll go along.
Carl
Oh, no. Now, you stay right here.
Uncle Ace
But I can tell if Betty is.
Carl
Tired of this separation. I'm not going over there to make up. This is business and I'm going to attend to it in my own way. Where's the key to your car?
Betty
Here it is.
Carl
She spends a cent of that money. I'm.
Uncle Ace
Yes, you'll think of another scheme.
Aunt Jane
I know all about it, Uncle. Are you sure he told them to keep the furniture till he tells them we can have it back? Marge.
Marge
Sure, I'm sure. He showed me the receipt he got for it. Nobody can get it without that receipt. If that's what you're thinking of doing, James.
Aunt Jane
Well, I'll get the receipt.
Marge
Oh, sure you will. Just ask him for.
Aunt Jane
I certainly will. I'll call him up this minute. Or better than that, I'll go right over there. Oh, so you're giving in.
Betty
You're going to crawl on your hands and knees.
Aunt Jane
I'm not crawling. I'm going over there and giving my peace of mind. If he thinks he can get away with. Where's my coat?
Marge
It won't do any good, Jane. You just have to admit They've got you where they want you, and that's that.
Aunt Jane
Oh, no, they haven't.
Marge
Oh, listen, why don't you force stop this wrangling and makeup?
Aunt Jane
I wouldn't even think about it till they give us our furniture back. If they do that, then they promise to be happy, and I might think about it. Won't we, Betty?
Betty
Oh, Aunt Jane, I don't know what to do.
Aunt Jane
Oh, stop that sniffling. Why'd you leave him in the first place? That's the way you feel about him.
Betty
I wish I knew.
Aunt Jane
I'm going to use our car. Laura says there's some gasoline in the emergency tank. Wherever that is, I'll find it. Oh, Betty, will you drive it out of the garage for me? I can't back up very good.
Betty
All right, Aunt Jane.
Marge
Oh, somebody will have to back Betty's car out of the driveway.
Aunt Jane
Oh, that's right. How am I going to drive out if your car's in the way?
Betty
Oh, well, we'll back mine down out of the driveway.
Aunt Jane
But there's no gas in it.
Betty
You don't need gas to back it out of the driveway.
Aunt Jane
Well, come on. I've got to go right away and get this off my chin. I'll show that. Well, what happens with me? You wait here, Marge. We'll be back with the receipt for the furniture.
Marge
Yes, I'll sleep on the receipt, I suppose.
Aunt Jane
Betty, I'll back your roadster down. You back our car out of the garage. You know about the emergency tank?
Betty
Yes, I know where it is. You know how to back my car down?
Aunt Jane
Oh, sure. You just go on and back our car out of the garage.
Betty
Just release the brake and back it slowly down.
Aunt Jane
I know how. Now, let me see. Be careful of the fenders when you come out of the garage, Betty. I'll be careful. Oh, what's the matter with this car?
Betty
Aunt Jane, there's no gas in that car. Just let it roll down to the street.
Aunt Jane
Oh, yes, down to the street. All right. Let it roll down the street. Well, what am I doing in here? Then? I could just let her roll out down without being. Oh, I guess I better steer it. Jane. What is it, Marge? Careful backing down that driveway. I'm careful. What's the matter with everybody? Betty, did you find the emergency tank? Yes. Don't worry about me. I'm all set.
Betty
Hurry and back my car out.
Aunt Jane
I will. It won't move, Jane. Oh, what is it? Take off the brake and let it roll slowly down. Oh, the brake. Oh, yes, I see it now.
Marge
Yes, that's it, Jane.
Aunt Jane
Now very. I'm going slow. Oh, wait, Betty, don't come out yet. Well, hurry, Aunt J. Oh, one tells me slow and one tells me to hurry. Did you bend the fender getting it out?
Betty
No, it's all right. And there's enough gas to get you.
Aunt Jane
Over there and back.
Betty
Back my car out of the driveway so I can get out?
Aunt Jane
I am. I'm going slowly. Is anybody in back of me?
Betty
No, nobody back at all.
Aunt Jane
Jane, be careful. Somebody's driving up the driveway. Where'd you say Ma detect. Careful. Hey there. Watch out. Hey, who's that? Hey, Jane, are you all right? Yeah, I'm all right, but who hit Benny's car back there?
Carl
What's going on here?
Aunt Jane
Dear, Is that you?
Carl
Why don't you look where you're going?
Aunt Jane
Why don't you go where you're looking? Betty, be careful. The car is out. Daddy, be careful.
Carl
Hey, Jane, put your brakes on. You're sliding back.
Aunt Jane
I'm what? Jane.
Marge
Betty, are you all right?
Betty
What happened?
Aunt Jane
Let me out of here.
Carl
Driving. Hi, every.
Aunt Jane
Oh, Jane, you're still sliding back. I can't help her. Get in. Put it on your face. Oh, no, not me. Betty, be careful.
Carl
Oh, what did I get into here?
Betty
Who's that back there?
Aunt Jane
Uncle A. That caro call. Is he hurt? Carl isn't here. Oh, look at these people gathering. Oh, here come the police. Here. It's all your fault.
Carl
How did I know you were backing down here?
Aunt Jane
But how do we know that you were back?
Marge
Stop arguing.
Aunt Jane
Can't you see the crowd gathering?
Officer
Hey, what's all this, everybody?
Aunt Jane
Oh, it's a policeman.
Carl
Now, you let me handle this, Jay. Now you just keep out of it.
Officer
Well, the drivers of these cars.
Carl
Well, you see, Officer, I.
Officer
You driving your car?
Carl
Yes, sir, but it's not mine.
Aunt Jane
I was backing this car down.
Officer
This your car, lady?
Aunt Jane
No, this is hers. She was driving mine. He was driving her husband.
Officer
How's that again?
Aunt Jane
I was backing hers down, she was driving mine out and he was driving her husband's aunt.
Officer
Trying to confuse the law. Okay, you come with me, a bunch of you. We'll see how funny this is when you tell it to the judge.
Aunt Jane
Hurry, Marge. We'll get a good seat in the wagon.
Anderson
Well, that's going to require a lot of explanation in court, but it may serve to bring the two couples together again. On every side. People who for years have sought a fast acting product to relieve the pains of headache and neuritis are learning about Anacin. And it's interesting to know that one reason Anacin works with such incredible speed is because anacin itself is like a doctor's prescription. That is, it's not just one, but a combination of active and medically proven ingredients. If your own dentist or physician hasn't already given you an envelope containing Anacin tablets, we urge you to get Anacin tonight at your druggist. Keep it always on hand for the time you need it. A L A C I N Anison in tins of 12 and 30 and bottles of 50 and 100 table easy aces will be back tomorrow night at this same time. When you go to your druggist, note how many different items he carries other than drugs. Look them over and buy whatever you can from him. You'll help him and yourself. This is Ford Bond speaking for the makers of Anison.
Aunt Jane
Foreign.
Ryan
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Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio – Easy Aces 41-05-13 (xxxx) A Game Of Bumper Cars
Episode Information:
In this episode of Easy Aces, titled "A Game Of Bumper Cars," listeners are transported back to the Golden Age of Radio, experiencing the comedic turmoil that unfolds when Aunt Jane and Betty attempt to regain their lost furniture through a cunning auction plan. Hosted by Harold's Old Time Radio, the episode masterfully blends witty dialogue, situational comedy, and the quintessential charm of old-time radio storytelling.
Initial Scheme and Its Downfall ([03:12] - [05:28]) The episode opens with Aunt Jane and her niece Betty devising a plan to recover their furniture, which they previously sold for a profit. Aunt Jane recounts, “All we have to do is sell the furniture for $400, then go to the Auction sale and buy it back for $250 and we'll have $150 profit” ([03:15]). However, Uncle Ace’s interference leads to an unexpected twist. Despite their strategy working initially, Uncle Ace bids up the price to $399, forcing Aunt Jane to halt the auction, resulting in a loss: “This time I made $400 profit” ([03:35]).
Betty quickly points out the flaw, stating, “I don't see where you made any profit. You have no furniture” ([03:52]). The situation deteriorates as the furniture remains unsold, leaving Jane and Betty stranded in their bare bungalow. The tension escalates with Aunt Jane’s frustration evident when she laments, “It's so hollow, isn't it? Hello there. I can almost hear my echo” ([04:12]).
Introduction of Marge and Further Complications ([05:36] - [08:50]) Marge enters the scene, adding another layer of complexity to the situation. Aunt Jane extends an invitation, “Sit down, March. Have a chair or sit on the couch. Now, do you miss something?” ([05:54]), but Marge counters by highlighting the lack of furniture. The conversation reveals that the auction scheme has backfired, leaving them without their belongings.
Amidst the chaos, Aunt Jane vows vengeance against Uncle Ace and Carl, asserting, “The laugh's gonna be on the other foot before I get through with him” ([06:07]). Uncle Ace and Carl discuss their failed attempts to outsmart Aunt Jane, with Carl exclaiming, “If they'd have bid just one more dollar, we'd have had them” ([07:23]). The tension peaks as Uncle Ace offers his car to Carl, leading to a series of misunderstandings.
Bumper Cars Mayhem and Police Involvement ([09:11] - [13:13]) The narrative takes a comedic turn when Aunt Jane attempts to resolve the issue using the car, resulting in a chaotic sequence of events. Miscommunication among the characters leads to Aunt Jane accidentally driving the wrong car, causing confusion and eventually attracting police attention.
Aunt Jane tries to explain the situation, “I was backing this car down, she was driving mine out and he was driving her husband's aunt” ([12:56]), but the convoluted story only perplexes the officers. The scene culminates with the police detaining the group, leaving listeners amused by the tangled web of misunderstandings.
Aunt Jane on the Initial Scheme:
Betty Highlighting the Flaw:
Aunt Jane's Frustration:
Determined Aunt Jane:
Carl's Realization:
Aunt Jane's Chaotic Explanation:
Aunt Jane: The protagonist whose ingenuity leads to both the initial success and ultimate failure of the auction scheme. Her persistence and frustration drive much of the episode’s humor.
Betty: Aunt Jane’s pragmatic niece, who provides a realistic counterpoint to Jane’s ambitious plans, often highlighting the flaws in their schemes.
Uncle Ace and Carl: The antagonists whose interference complicates the plot, embodying the classic foil to Jane’s character. Their failed attempts to outsmart Jane add layers of comedy and tension.
Marge: Introduced later in the episode, Marge serves as a voice of reason amidst the chaos, further illustrating the disarray resulting from the flawed auction plan.
"A Game Of Bumper Cars" encapsulates the essence of classic radio comedy through its intricate plot, engaging characters, and humorous dialogues. The episode concludes with the protagonists facing the consequences of their actions, setting the stage for potential reconciliation and future misadventures. The blend of situational comedy and character-driven humor ensures that listeners are both entertained and invested in the unfolding drama.
Note: This summary focuses solely on the content-driven sections of the episode, omitting advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments to provide a clear and concise overview for those unfamiliar with Easy Aces.