Eb and Zeb 33-xx-xx (107) The Depression Sausage

Summary

Podcast Summary: Harold's Old Time Radio

Episode Title: Eb and Zeb 33-xx-xx (107) The Depression Sausage
Release Date: July 8, 2025
Host: Harold's Old Time Radio
Description: Dive into the nostalgic world of the Golden Age of Radio with timeless shows like The Shadow, Abbott & Costello, Amos & Andy, and Dragnet. In this episode, experience the charm and wit of classic radio storytelling.

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Overview

In this episode, titled "The Depression Sausage," listeners are transported back to the 1930s, a time of economic hardship and inventive resilience. The story revolves around Hector, an inventive yet beleaguered character struggling to find employment and gain the respect of his peers. His latest endeavor—a unique sausage recipe dubbed the "Depression Sausage"—becomes the focal point of the episode's humor and drama.

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Main Characters

• Hector: An aspiring inventor with a knack for unconventional ideas.
• Mr. Winterbottom: A skeptical and gruff shop owner who doubts Hector's capabilities.
• Jim: A friend or associate who interacts with both Hector and Mr. Winterbottom.
• Texas: Another character involved in the business dealings within the shop.
• Major Bond: A military figure seeking cigars and a talented studsman.

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Detailed Summary

Hector's Struggles and Invention

The episode opens with Hector attempting to engage Mr. Winterbottom in a conversation about his woes. At [00:27], Mr. Winterbottom dismissively tells Hector to "skin along" as he busies himself with orders, signaling his disinterest in Hector's presence.

By [00:39], Hector reveals his frustration with his current employment situation, expressing dissatisfaction with his job working for Mr. Barlow. He laments, "All the work was too hard. It was terrible. Started at 5 o' clock in the morning. Worked till 12 o' clock at night. Added day after day, week in, week out. Slaving away, working my fingers to the bone." (Hector, [01:05])

Mr. Winterbottom remains unimpressed, accusing Hector of being a "plain, ordinary loafer" and questioning his productivity since Hector began carrying goods at the shop ([01:20]).

In a turn towards innovation, Hector introduces his latest idea: the "Depression Sausage." At [02:37], he explains, "This is called a Depression sausage. The two ends of this sausage are stuffed with meat, but the metal is stuffed with sawdust." His rationale is economic necessity—“Putting sawdust in the middle is the only way of making both ends meet.” (Hector, [02:55])

Despite Hector's enthusiasm, Mr. Winterbottom remains skeptical, urging him to secure a real job and dismissing his invention as impractical ([03:07]).

Interaction with Mr. Winterbottom

The tension between Hector and Mr. Winterbottom escalates as Hector confides in Jim about the community's perception of him as a failure. He shares his restless nights plagued by worries, stating, "When I go to bed, if I drop off to sleep, I have terrible zings." (Hector, [03:20])

Moved by Hector's plight, Mr. Winterbottom offers, somewhat begrudgingly, to help find him a job. Hector responds with gratitude, albeit with a hint of skepticism, saying, "Oh, gee, you're a real friend, Mr. Winterbottom. A real friend." ([03:58])

Introduction of Major Bond

The plot thickens with the entrance of Major Bond, a character who introduces a new dynamic to the story. At [05:52], Major Bond enters the scene requesting cigars. A humorous exchange ensues as he clarifies his title and role:

• Major Bond: "Why, yes. I want to get a couple of cigars. What kind have you?" ([05:55])
• Mr. Winterbottom: "There's only two kinds. There's Robinson Crusoe and Mount." ([06:01])
• Major Bond: "Have you smoked them yourself?" ([06:09])

The conversation takes a comedic turn when Major Bond reveals his military rank, leading to confusion and playful banter with Mr. Winterbottom and Texas regarding authority and respect.

Seeking a Studsman

Major Bond's true purpose emerges as he seeks a "studsman" for an upcoming air derby in Squidville. At [07:14], he inquires, "Who is a good studs man?" The term "studsman" appears to refer to a stuntman or someone skilled in performing daring feats.

Mr. Winterbottom immediately recommends Texas, praising him as a "wonderful fellow for stunt" ([07:23]). Despite not knowing Texas personally, Major Bond expresses interest in hiring him based on this endorsement. He decides to leave an application for Texas to sign, indicating potential employment ([07:34]).

Conclusion and Future Promises

As Major Bond departs, the shop's characters reflect on the day's events. Texas remains skeptical about Hector's and his own prospects, while Mr. Winterbottom contemplates the possibility of Hector's redemption through his invention or new employment opportunities.

The episode concludes with a lighthearted jab at Major Bond's eccentricities and the ongoing challenges Hector faces in proving his worth, setting the stage for future developments.

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Notable Quotes

• Hector: "All the work was too hard. It was terrible. Started at 5 o' clock in the morning. Worked till 12 o' clock at night...working my fingers to the bone." ([01:05])

• Hector: "This is called a Depression sausage. The two ends of this sausage are stuffed with meat, but the metal is stuffed with sawdust." ([02:55])

• Mr. Winterbottom: "We'll done enormous little work since you come to carry here. You never amount to nothing." ([01:20])

• Major Bond: "Are you going to put on that air derby over in Squidville?" ([07:05])

• Hector: "Oh, you're a real friend, Mr. Winterbottom. A real friend." ([04:02])

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Insights and Themes

Economic Hardship and Innovation: The episode poignantly captures the desperation of the Great Depression era, highlighting how financial strain drives individuals like Hector to seek unconventional solutions, even if they border on the absurd.

Community and Skepticism: Mr. Winterbottom embodies the skepticism prevalent in tight-knit communities, where new ideas are often met with doubt. Hector's struggle to gain acceptance reflects the broader societal challenges faced by innovators during tough economic times.

Humor in Adversity: Despite the grim backdrop, the episode infuses humor through witty dialogues and character interactions, providing a balanced narrative that entertains while reflecting on serious themes.

Hope and Redemption: The introduction of Major Bond symbolizes the possibility of new opportunities. His interest in Texas hints at potential redemption not just for Texas but also for Hector if his invention gains traction.

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Conclusion

"The Depression Sausage" is a quintessential episode that blends humor, drama, and historical context to depict the resilient spirit of the Golden Age of Radio. Through Hector's trials and the colorful interactions with characters like Mr. Winterbottom and Major Bond, listeners are reminded of the enduring human capacity to innovate and find hope amidst adversity.

Whether you're a longtime fan or new to Harold's Old Time Radio, this episode offers a captivating glimpse into a bygone era, rich with memorable characters and timeless lessons.

Transcript

[Jim]

Now, let's see here. One pound of butter. That fat getting so attentive. Looks like B E. Oh, yes. Beans, dimes with a beanie swear.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Well, you better skin along. I'm busy putting up orders. Don't. Was you hanging around. You're getting to be a regular village.

[Hector]

P. Yes, yes, but listen, listen. I come in to find out if you've got any dry teeth.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Dry teeth?

[Jim]

Yeah.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Will certainly got dry teeth.

[Hector]

Well, why don't you give them a drink?

[Mr. Winterbottom]

No, that'll do. You get out of here. Go on with it. Tell you, Coming around persecuting busy people. Why don't you go get a job?

[Hector]

Well, then you have a node. I did get a job working for Mr. Barlow.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Well, then what you hang around here for if you got a job working for Sam Barlow?

[Hector]

Well, I'll tell you, Mr. Winterbottom, I just couldn't stand it.

[Jim]

What?

[Hector]

All the work was too hard.

[Major Bond]

It was terrible.

[Hector]

Started at 5 o' clock in the morning. Worked till 12 o' clock at night. Added day after day, week in, week out. Slaving away, working my fingers to the bone.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Six lies. How long you been doing this?

[Hector]

Well, I was supposed to start tomorrow.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

It's got to be some string to it. I hate to say it, but you're just a plain, ordinary loafer, that's what you are. We've done enormous little work since you come to carry here. You never amount to nothing.

[Hector]

Is that so?

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Yes.

[Jim]

So?

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Well, you just wait.

[Hector]

You just wait till I get my new invention. Professor.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Reinventing. What's invented now?

[Hector]

Well, it's not exactly an invention, but it's. It's a secret process for making sausage.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Sausage?

[Texas]

Yes.

[Hector]

You know, all my family are great sausage makers. Yes, sir. My great grandfather was the greatest sausage maker in the world. He only made sausages for royalty.

[Jim]

Only for royalty, eh?

[Mr. Winterbottom]

You don't say.

[Jim]

Yes, sir.

[Hector]

Yes, sir.

[Jim]

Only for royalty.

[Hector]

And sometimes not even for them. Why, one night the king himself came into my grandfather's store and wanted to buy a sausage. And my grandfather refused to put one out for him.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Why did he refuse to put weather up for him? Well, you see.

[Hector]

You see, it was a terrible night. Oh, gosh, it's snowing and blowing and raining.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

All these weather. Because it was awful. Yes, it was terrible.

[Texas]

And my.

[Hector]

My grandfather wouldn't. My grandfather wouldn't put out a dog on a night like that.

[Jim]

Wouldn't put his dog on it.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Oh, what's the matter with you? Now, you go on, Mr. Smith. Go ahead and get out of here. Tell you.

[Hector]

Mixer went in the bottom. All doping aside, all joking aside, I want to tell you about the new sausage that I've invented. This is called a Depression sausage.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

A Depression sausage?

[Jim]

Yes.

[Hector]

Yes, that's it. A Depression sausage. The two ends of this sausage are stuffed with meat, but the metal is stuffed with sawdust.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

The littlest stuff with sawdust. Well, what in foundation's the idea of that?

[Hector]

Because the price is sausage. Putting sawdust in the middle is the only way of making both ends meet.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Now, you better. You decide better off do a quick mess around with fool inventors and get a real job now.

[Hector]

Yes, but. But that's the trouble.

[Texas]

I can't get a real job.

[Hector]

Everybody in this town is against me. They say I'm a failure.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Well, now, I wouldn't pay no attention to that, Hector.

[Hector]

Yeah, I can't help it, Mr. Winterbottom. It haunts me night and day.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

I can't even get any rest.

[Hector]

When I go to bed, if I drop off to sleep, I have terrible zings.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Last evening.

[Texas]

Last evening I dreamt I was pitching pennies.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Pitching pennies.

[Jim]

And.

[Hector]

And I tossed all night.

[Jim]

Well, that's too.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Oh, what's the matter with you? Now, listen here. You listen here. I don't know what it'll be, but I'll get a job for you.

[Hector]

Oh, gosh, Mr. Winterbottom, that's.

[Jim]

Well, that's well of you.

[Hector]

And if you get a job.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

If you get me a job, you.

[Hector]

Well, you can dance on my grave.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

It takes a little time maybe, but I'll get your job somewhere. Now, don't you worry about it.

[Hector]

Oh, gee, you're a real friend, Mr. Winterbottom. A real friend. You're the kind of a fellow I'd.

[Texas]

Let dance on my grave.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Now, you went along and dropped in a day or so, and I'll see you at some. Wait a second. Here comes E.B. he might know about something right now. Hector promised to go to work if we can get him a job. You happen to know of anything?

[Texas]

No, no, not right off.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Well, anyhow, Hector, you drop in. Drop in tomorrow.

[Texas]

Yes, all right.

[Hector]

All right, Mr. Winter, madam, I'll do that. And thanks. Thanks ever so much. You get me a job and you.

[Texas]

Can dance on my grave.

[Jim]

Well, sir.

[Texas]

Wait a minute, Jim.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

How do you mean I can dance on the grave, Hector?

[Hector]

Because. Because I'm going to be buried at sea.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Just a young Jack and E. Always pulling some sort of stunt.

[Texas]

Yeah, Chuck, you just waste your time. Job trying to get him a job.

[Hector]

You won't Work?

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Well, I don't know, Ed. The boy ain't really never had a chance. I sort of figured if. Oh, say, you see Mrs. Pinkley about that bill of her. Tell her he'd knock off half if she'd set her right off.

[Texas]

Yeah, Yeah, I got it all fixed up.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Oh, well, that's fine. Dad didn't give that good work.

[Hector]

You bet there.

[Texas]

I certainly put it across. In fact, I put over a better deal than that. I made her give in a little too.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

And how do you mean?

[Texas]

I got her to agree that if we'd forget half the bill, she'd forget the other half.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Yes, that's a funny. What. What?

[Texas]

You mean to say you made a.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Jigger like that with her?

[Texas]

Well, it certainly fair enough, ain't it?

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Oh, man, the go. Why, you. Dad Girl, you let her slickly let her slit you. That's what you did. Next time I. Next time I let a d. Fool do a job, I. I'll do it myself.

[Major Bond]

Good morning.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir.

[Jim]

How do?

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Something you can do for you?

[Major Bond]

Why, yes. I want to get a couple of cigars. What kind have you?

[Mr. Winterbottom]

As you here, mister, in the show keep, there's only two kinds. There's Robinson Crusoe and Mount. Oh, I see.

[Major Bond]

Which of you Rickett recommends?

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Yes, I do. I'd recommend Robin Crucial.

[Major Bond]

Have you smoked them yourself?

[Mr. Winterbottom]

No, but I've smoked a mounted po.

[Major Bond]

All right, give me six of the Robinson Crusos.

[Jim]

Four. Four. Four.

[Major Bond]

Thanks. You know I made the bond.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

How's that, Major Bond?

[Texas]

We only got one bar and we made it our fast.

[Major Bond]

No, no, no. That's my name, Bond.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

I thought you said your name is Major.

[Major Bond]

Major isn't a name. That's what they call you when you enter air service. That's your rank.

[Texas]

What say?

[Major Bond]

I say your rank.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Hey, look here, young fellow. Don't go coming in here and tell us we're ranked.

[Major Bond]

I didn't, sir.

[Texas]

We'll knock you for a go.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

We ain't going to stand for no for now.

[Major Bond]

Just a moment, just a moment. I'm talking about a military rank. I'm an army officer. Or rather an ex officer, an aviator.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Oh, you.

[Major Bond]

Well, we're in the English army. I'm the fellow who's going to put on that air derby over in Squidville.

[Texas]

That air what?

[Major Bond]

Derby. In fact, I just arrived from New York yesterday. I'm looking for a good studsman. You don't know anyone around here, do you? Who is a good stud man?

[Mr. Winterbottom]

You mean a fellow who does Spur?

[Jim]

Yes.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Well, sir, I certainly do, mister. You mean Texas?

[Texas]

Yeah, he's just full of stunt matters, Barnes.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Why, he's just a fellow for you. And he's looking for a job, too. I tell you, he's a wonderful fellow for stunt.

[Major Bond]

Well, of course, I don't know the gentleman, but if you think he's that good, I'll take him on.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Where can I find him? He'll be in here tomorrow.

[Major Bond]

Well, I have to go to San Francisco tomorrow. But I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll leave an application here for him. Have him look it over, and if it appeals to him, have him sign it.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

All right, sir.

[Major Bond]

Yes, just tell him to sign this application and I'll pick it up day after tomorrow.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Just have him signed.

[Major Bond]

Oh, I almost forgot about paying. Close to God. There you are.

[Jim]

Well, gosh, takes this bun.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

I don't think we can change 20. Look in the fill there, Reb. And you see how much change he got. We'll just change a five dollar bill.

[Texas]

No, no, we can't do it.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Well, I tell you, I run over the bank.

[Major Bond]

Oh, that's all right. Just keep the change.

[Texas]

What?

[Major Bond]

I said, just keep the change. I'll be asking you for a favor sometime.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Perhaps win a steakhouse alive. Oh, don't.

[Major Bond]

But. Don't.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

But.

[Major Bond]

Good morning.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Good morning. There goes a real feller.

[Texas]

He's just crazy. That's what's the matter with him.

[Mr. Winterbottom]

Crazy. Hey, what you talking about?

[Texas]

You heard what he said, didn't you?

[Jim]

Yeah.

[Hector]

Come all the way from New York.

[Texas]

To Squid Rail to put on a derby. And all the time he was telling us that he had on a felt hat.