Harold's Old Time Radio: Ed Wynn – The Fire Chief 32-07-26

Episode: The Prince Goes To School
Date: October 10, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features the legendary comedian Ed Wynn as "The Fire Chief" in a classic Golden Age radio comedy. The main comedic storyline is a parody opera titled "The Prince Goes To School," with Wynn delivering rapid-fire jokes, puns, vaudevillian banter, and musical interludes. Wynn is joined by announcer Graham McNamee and other cast members, who riff on contemporary topics (like the Great Depression and modern transportation), perform sketches, and engage with listener letters.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Lighthearted Opening Banter (00:55–03:00)

• Wynn and McNamee exchange witty quips about country courtship and propriety, lampooning rural traditions.
• Notable Quote:
  Graham McNamee: "What were you doing carrying that lantern?"
  Ed Wynn: "It was dark in the country, Graham. I was calling on a girl, so I carried the lantern." (01:04)
• The dialogue pokes fun at old-fashioned customs and delivers quick reversals.

2. Jokes on Transportation and Technology (01:29–02:16)

• Discussion on horse riding versus automobiles, with playful jabs at modern conveniences and their consequences.
• Notable Quote:
  Ed Wynn: "My great trouble is with the amendments." (01:30)
  Graham McNamee: "Isn't it true that horseback riding gives you a headache?"
  Ed Wynn: "On the contrary! If more people rode horses there would be less accidents over the weekend." (01:54)

3. Topical Humor: The Great Depression & the Stock Market (04:03–05:24)

• Wynn lampoons the financial straits of the day, joking about shared national debt and market woes.
• Memorable Exchanges:
  • McNamee: "Every man, woman and child in the U.S. is worth $43.50."
    Ed Wynn: "That's true, Graham, but the trouble is we owe it to each other." (04:12)
  • On the worsening stock market: 5 and 10 cent stores putting in ‘stock and bond departments.’ (04:44)

4. Musical Interludes

• The episode features lighthearted musical numbers, including energetic fight songs and period pieces reflecting on Midwestern pride. Key tunes include Illinois Loyalty and selections from The Merry Widow.

5. "The Prince Goes To School" Parody Opera (10:55–21:37)

Act I: At the Palace (10:55–14:51)

• Story of a wealthy king and his “cockeyed” son, the prince, who believes he’s a poodle dog.
• Highlights:
  • The King buys six radios “just to keep them shut off.”
  • Doctor’s solution: send the prince to “Moron College.”
• Notable Quote:
  Ed Wynn: "He keeps thinking that he's a poodle dog... Just because he thinks he's a poodle door. He's conceited." (11:11)
  Doctor: "When he took his hat off, there was nothing under it." (11:53)

Act II: At College (14:51–17:35)

• The prince struggles in class, gives malaprop-filled answers.
• Notable Quotes:
  • Professor: "Prince, define the word 'he'."
    Prince: "The word he is a piper pronoun... except when used for laughing purposes, like he he he." (15:02)
  • Natural History Teacher: "How was iron discovered?"
    Prince: "Iron was discovered because somebody smelt it." (16:01)
• The prince joins the football team for his "football face," later struggles to sleep due to excitement.

Act III: Romance & Farce (17:35–21:37)

• The prince courts a girl with odd, flowery compliments.
• Memorable Moment:
  Ed Wynn: "Your breath is like wine. There are clothes in your hair. I will call you my virginia ham." (17:32)
• Comedic take on jealousy: The prince finds another man kissing his sweetheart, leading to a “drool” (duel).
• Notable Quote:
  Ed Wynn: "I don't know how many times I kissed her. I lost a finger in the war and I can only count up to nine." (20:33)

6. Audience Letters: Advice with a Comedy Twist (22:55–24:52)

• Listeners write in with naive, humorous questions; Wynn gives ridiculous answers:
  • On buggy rides at picnics: “You may not have a buggy ride, but you’ll have a buggy case.” (23:08)
  • On horse-ranch romance: “If he gets serious, you'll know it immediately. The first thing he'll do is open your mouth and look at your teeth.” (23:33)
  • On most common U.S. city names: “The most popular name that I have seen is Go-Slow... there seems to be one in every state.” (24:00)
  • The origin of “Mount Ararat”: “Mount Ararat got its name from a pussycat... I smell out of rat.” (24:31)

7. Light Sponsor Plugs Integrated with Story (08:01, 26:55)

• Comedic ad spots for Texaco Fire Chief Gasoline are interspersed, playing off the show’s running jokes.
• Graham McNamee: "With Texaco Fire Chief gasoline in the tank, you’ve got to watch the speedometer..." (08:01)
• Details on government standards for emergency motor fuel and how Texaco surpasses them (26:55).

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "My great trouble is with the amendments." – Ed Wynn (01:30)
• "The trouble is we owe it to each other." – Ed Wynn on national wealth (04:12)
• "He's so cockeyed that every time he puts a penny in that machine for chewing gum, he gets a piece of chocolate." – Ed Wynn (10:55)
• "Your breath is like wine. There are clothes in your hair. I will call you my Virginia Ham." – Ed Wynn as The Prince (17:32)
• "I lost a finger in the war and I can only count up to nine." – Unknown male (the prince’s rival) (20:33)
• On Moron College: "If they only give that kid of yours a blank sheet of paper to read, it'll improve his mind." (12:59)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:55–03:00 – Opening banter about the country, romance, and horses
• 04:03–05:24 – Depression jokes and stock market riff
• 07:24–09:03 – Aviation tall tales and Texaco Fire Chief gasoline ad
• 10:55–21:37 – "The Prince Goes To School" parody opera sketch
• 22:55–24:52 – Listener letters and Ed Wynn’s comic advice
• 26:55 – Sponsor message: Texaco Fire Chief Gasoline & Crash Proof Texaco Oil

Conclusion

This episode typifies Ed Wynn’s zany, pun-filled radio humor, with a focus on comical wordplay, topical satire, and farcical sketches. The parody opera is the highlight, lampooning everything from higher education to romance with witty non sequiturs and self-referential asides. Audience participation is met with Wynn’s signature blend of silly wisdom and absurdity.